For most of my life I have been seeking to present myself through the way I dress. I had endowed clothes with a power to express for me what I did not take the responsibility to live. I have never bought very expensive clothes, but I have certainly been through many different styles in my life, which I sought to perfect. If I had allowed myself to feel the disharmony in my appearance, I would have had to feel that I was living in disharmony and this would have exposed the comfort that was keeping me from seeing this truth.
Focusing my life on clothes and the perfecting of an outer appearance was my comfort to distract me from truly taking responsibility in connecting with myself and living that connection.
But the truth is, when I gave my power away to an outer image, no matter what I put on, it never gave me a true feeling of satisfaction. What looked nice on the outside actually reinforced a feeling of slavery – I was the slave of my relationship with clothes. If I didn’t have a certain look that I was after, I would feel like it was the end of the world.
I work in the Fashion Industry and this is our everyday life. We talk about clothes, we dream about clothes, we fall in love with clothes, we waste clothes, we hoard clothes, we spend all our money on clothes and we seek perfection in clothes. All of this is accepted as normal.
What made me question more deeply was the undeniable fact that, when I was honest, these repetitive choices still left me with a feeling of emptiness that was very unsettling. I gave myself a lot of patience and understanding, yet kept testing and being aware of how it felt when I continued this pattern of giving my power away to clothes and to the industry that I work for.
No matter what brands or designs I bought or wore, no matter how much time, effort and money I spent to complete my look, no matter all the approval the world gave me in confirming my uniqueness or sense of style – none of that made me more happy or confident. I was constantly seeking for the next look that would set me apart from everyone else. I used different clothing as a measure of how to present myself to different people so as to be accepted. If I wore an ‘office’ look to a fashion event, I would feel completely out of place.
I had many different circles of friends, so imagine how exhausting and expensive living in this way would be. Even when I wanted to quit being fashionable, I was still seeking approval in the anti-fashion statements that I wore. I was becoming more and more trapped and although I did not choose to see it, my body was feeling it all. Fashion is such an intimate part of our lives, and I began to question how I could dress myself to not feel perpetually empty.
Could this emptiness be a part of me that I was trying to fashionably hide?
Three years ago, because of Universal Medicine, I began to understand the responsibility of living self-love and self-care in my daily life. So I added a dose of that into what I wore and found the experience to be joyful and playful. Gradually I made love and care my commitment – the more I explored, the more things changed within me, which resulted in a gradual makeover in my closet.
The greatest change that I observed was – fashion used to be my protection. I used it to:
- keep the world out
- be attractive or unattractive
- appear more superior or inferior
- stand out just as much as to hide
- fit in or to be aloof
The truth is, I was using fashion to be everything but my true self.
With truly taking care of myself and my body, I began to consistently and steadily feel a sense of my own lovely preciousness, and that is the feeling I was seeking to dress myself with all of my life. The confirmation of who I am that I was looking for is now tangibly felt and growing steadily within me, with the love and care I now no longer hold back for me.
Naturally, how I wish to dress becomes an extension of the truth of who I am. A renewed depth of simplicity is felt and seen. I feel truly beautiful because it is my own love that I am now choosing to wear and share. Love can’t be kept for one or a few: separatism and elitism just does not suit my taste any more. Now when I look into my heart closet, it is love that is selected and it is worn with deep care and nurturing every day.
This is true fashion – fashion that is timeless, ageless, genderless and always in vogue; it never needs approval and it comes as a complete look that everyone is able to wear and look beautiful in.
My deep appreciation for Serge Benhayon and the teachings of the Ageless Wisdom. Love is the true cool.
By Adele Leung, Creative Director/Fashion Stylist, Hong Kong
Further Reading:
A True Role Model: Universal Medicine = Universal Responsibility
Who Are You In The Latest Fashion Stakes?
Packaging And Opening Us Up
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
Being a slave to fashion or to anything is to dance to someone else’s tune.
Adele I’ve been the opposite to you, clothes were not high on my radar to be kept up dated with. I recall many years ago a wardrobe person going through my wardrobe and made one comment that my clothes were outdated! I wasn’t the biggest fan in keeping up with the trend but I grew up in an environment where we went without too, so it was something I inherited.
I had a sibling who was the opposite to me. She loved clothes, always dressed gorgeous and still does and yet on the inside, there’s this turmoil going on.
What hasn’t helped either is that once my career took off, I was in uniforms then day to day clothes as such. Days off was the only time I would wear ordinary clothes. I would purchase things hoping I’d get to wear them on a night out. So I would collect things and it would just sit there for that one day, that never occurred.
Fashion for me said that I would be accepted as it would stand me out. But clothes, or keeping up with an industry that is forever changing just to keep up with appearances, is set up for the exact reason, to keep us away from who we truly are.
What a difference when we dress for ourselves and not for anyone else, what a different feeling. Not proving to anyone else but going with what nourishes our soul. Not that’s dressing for you…
Beautiful to feel, claim, and express, ‘I feel truly beautiful because it is my own love that I am now choosing to wear and share.’
A gorgeous quote from a fashion designer that looks after herself: “Now when I look into my heart closet, it is love that is selected and it is worn with deep care and nurturing every day.”
Interesting to realise that fashion (and many other things for that matter) can be used as a form of protection from the world and a way to hide who we are. Most people talk about fashion being a form of expression and of course it is – but the real question is: Is it your true expression or a role you are playing again and again? Thank you Adele for this insight…
Is it your true expression, or ‘I used different clothing as a measure of how to present myself to different people so as to be accepted.’
I agree Henrietta, is a piece of fabric our true expression or a role we are playing out all the time. Much to ponder over this statement.
Adele, a very refreshing and honest blog about clothes and fashion – thank you! And I love how you talked about adding a dose of self love and self care into what you wore and found the experience to be joyful and playful. This is a wonderful start…
It sounds like fun, ‘I began to understand the responsibility of living self-love and self-care in my daily life. So I added a dose of that into what I wore and found the experience to be joyful and playful.’
Love is the Fiery end of cool, and appreciation of our essences stocks that fire.
What strikes me about your article is how much we use clothes to be different, or to stand out, or to change who we are – instead of complementing who we are and coming from a position of already knowing and endorsing our own sense of self worth. If we dressed from that position then we would never try to outdo someone, never dress down, or hide but simply be open to showing the world who we actually are and not holding an ounce of that back.
“I feel truly beautiful because it is my own love that I am now choosing to wear and share.” When we are aware of the love within then anything we wear reflects who we are.
The love within starts to radiate out for all to feel and see, ‘With truly taking care of myself and my body, I began to consistently and steadily feel a sense of my own lovely preciousness’.
Adele this is such a great point “If I had allowed myself to feel the disharmony in my appearance, I would have had to feel that I was living in disharmony and this would have exposed the comfort that was keeping me from seeing this truth.” Because how often do we see people really well dressed but instantly know that the clothes they are wearing are not a true reflection of how they live and look after themselves.
Not a true reflection of themselves, or even trying to hide something, ‘Could this emptiness be a part of me that I was trying to fashionably hide?’
We dress our bodies first in an energetic quality. It’s not physical but it’s felt. Then we dress according to that quality. If I feel uncaring and the quality of my actions is ‘don’t care bear’ then this is reflected in what I wear.
Equally when I feel beautiful my clothes reflect this.
Very true Leigh. How we dress our clothes in what quality we dress ourselves is equally important to what we put on.
This is amazing to read about how you gave your power away to an image, a perceived image of what perfection was.
What I find is the more love I have for myself, the fewer clothes I need in the closet.
I love also a very simple closet. Everything I can see and nothing is hidden or forgotten and every piece is really treasured. I start to let go of what I don’t love absolutely.
“Everything I can see and nothing is hidden or forgotten and every piece is really treasured” a great analogy for life.
It’s joyful to know who we are and have this reflected in how we dress, not to impress but confirm our inner self-worth and absolute loveliness.
“This is true fashion – fashion that is timeless, ageless, genderless and always in vogue; it never needs approval and it comes as a complete look that everyone is able to wear and look beautiful in.” And whatsmore is that it is extremely simple and takes no effort!
Dressing up so to compensate for what we do not live is a way; a popular one. The problem with this is that so long as it works, we do not work on our well-being, we seemingly buy it ‘prêt-à-porter’ and wear it for most of the day, except when we take the clothing off and we are again confronted with what we tried so hard to hide from everybody, starting with oneself.
The inside and out has to add up, otherwise fashion is a fluke, which at most times, no matter how beautiful in appearance, that is exactly what it is.
Absolutely Edouardo – I love how you have shared this for it is some thing that most of us have done in some way or another in life…the confrontation part (to confront ones own lack of self love and care) can be very challenging but there is only so long we can delay beginning the process of loving oneself.
When we dress according to how we feel in connection to who we are, and not to impress, it matters not what we are wearing as our light shines outwardly from within regardless of our clothes.
I am always amazed at how love allows us to become honest about our choices all round as a false version of love we might have declared previously starts getting exposed and replaced by the true one.
“Now when I look into my heart closet, it is love that is selected and it is worn with deep care and nurturing every day.” I love this Adele. What ever is chosen and worn from your ‘heart closet’ will always reflect the truth and gorgoeusness of who you are.
Clothes can be an expression of our joy, our power and our love. It can also be an expression coming from need and we can transition between the two.
Getting dressed for me now is a great marker of where I am at with myself and how connected I am. In connection my body picks the clothes and it’s done with ease, without connection it’s a struggle with many thoughts of others and what I ‘think’ I need to wear.
Yes, we even look at what will work for those we are meeting during that day,
“Focusing my life on clothes and the perfecting of an outer appearance was my comfort to distract me from truly taking responsibility in connecting with myself and living that connection.”
This statement is glaringly the foundation of today’s fashion, invariably it is like a predator, preying on the need to look good, for both men and women. Our sense of self and willingness to explore the true quality we hold will, in time adjust how we shop, dress and live.
Looking good is awesome nothing wrong with that. But we can choose to look good starting first from inside and naturally emanating out or simply putting something on without a conversation with our innermost. The quality felt is in stark contrast.
When we wear clothes that accentuates our natural emanation we cannot but glow.
‘Now when I look into my heart closet, it is love that is selected and it is worn with deep care and nurturing every day’. Gorgeous to read, and a lovely reminder that true fashion is when we allow ourselves to be seen, to shine and not hold back the love that we naturally are. For any clothes we wear will just reflect what we are feeling from the inside out!
True fashion allows our natural love and beauty to be seen and felt, ‘true fashion – fashion that is timeless, ageless, genderless and always in vogue; it never needs approval and it comes as a complete look that everyone is able to wear and look beautiful in.’
We all have a relationship with clothes and after reading this blog, it is good to pause and reflect. One habit I had taken on from the women in my family, was that they would only wear their very best clothing on Sundays ( church day) and for special occasions, which is somewhat of a waste…Having realised that this was not mine, I made some necessary changes to how and when I wear my clothes.
Even going to the Grocers can be dressed with the same care as our own wedding or a job interview.
“I feel truly beautiful because it is my own love that I am now choosing to wear and share.” This is the undergarment that shines out through the outer garment, revealing our deeply divine beauty in all that we wear.
Reading this article this morning brings to my awareness the many hooks that clothing makers and distributors use to get us to buy their particular items. From elitism to daggy, and everything in between the sense of what each particular flavor is lies within the clothes we buy. It is then up to us to discern clearly what we can hold our love in whilst we wear it.
“If I wore an ‘office’ look to a fashion event, I would feel completely out of place.” This shows how much we believe in that our outer appearance defines how we feel inside so we are constantly focused on changing things that surround us all the while true contentment comes with allowing ourselves to feel our beauty within and allow ourselves to express form there.
I’ve come at this from the opposite end of the spectrum, not paying attention to how I look and avoiding even trying to express a sense of style or fashion out to the world – a lack of expression and an attempt to stay small. As I feel the expansion in me, so my trips to the shops becomes more purposeful, enjoyable, and a creative, fun experience.
I Love your simple description of true fashion Adele for are we not all; timeless, ageless and genderless as we move in and out of different bodies from one incarnation to the next?
‘The truth is, I was using fashion to be everything but my true self’. Most women fall for this too. It is a game changer when we observe this for ourselves and very healing into the bargain.
When we identify ourselves by our outer cladding we shut ourselves off from feeling our inner beauty.
‘…none of that made me more happy or confident.’ External appearances may bring us the approval of another, but it doesn’t change how we feel inside. For that to happen we have to change the source of our energetic foundation. It is only when we are connected to the love we innately are that we feel truly harmonious in ourselves.
When we use clothes to define us we are always at the mercy of what the picture is we wanted to fit and what others think and say about that.
We may ask clothing to complement us and to become part of the whole we already are or to supply what we feel that we are internally unable to naturally achieve.
Wow Adele, awesome blog. I can relate to what you’ve shared and True fashion is what I would like in my wardrobe, it sounds like another playful way to express who we are, how gorgeous we feel and share this with the world.
Your observations from having lived the reality within the fashion industry give this message about the emptiness of fashion slavery even deeper poignancy. You’ve come out onto the catwalk under the spotlight and expressed the truth. It’s Love that’s cool. It’s our own inner beauty then expressed through dress that resolves the emptiness and makes us shine. Invest in living and dressing that beauty, not in the latest must-haves.
How we dress can be an extension of who we are, or used to hide who we are. As we change and evolve so will our clothes and what we wear.
“I feel truly beautiful because it is my own love that I am now choosing to wear and share. ” Deeply beautiful Adele. I am inspired.
What you have reminded us of is that we don’t need to hide behind fashion but rather use it in a way to enhance our lives instead of diminish us.
Great point Roslyn. It’s such a change in the way so many of us relate to fashion – not that we’re consciously hiding, but in the need to be fashionable we are absolutely dismissing our own expression, ie. what we would choose to wear if we hadn’t capped ourselves with a ideal picture of what we should look like.
How exhausting it is to be a slave to fashion… or anything of an ephemeral nature for that matter. Better – easier, simpler and truer – to be a servant to our inner hearts, and express in full from there.
What we choose to wear can be nurturing and honouring, ‘This is true fashion – fashion that is timeless, ageless, genderless and always in vogue; it never needs approval and it comes as a complete look that everyone is able to wear and look beautiful in.’
It’s so interesting how our sense of fashion can change as our perspective of ourself evolves. What I once thought was beautiful, the colours I wanted to wear and the style all spoke about my relationship to myself. Now that I enjoy who I am my whole sense of fashion has had to change to reflect that.
it made me laugh when you mentioned anti-fashion. I too have got caught up in not wanting to be seen as someone following fashion, but looking back that was a reaction and a judgement. The way I dressed was still not for me. Getting to know me and what feels right on me has been an enjoyable journey. I actually enjoy shopping now and if I don’t find what I’m looking for I will come home empty handed rather than compromise.
‘Now when I look into my heart closet, it is love that is selected and it is worn with deep care and nurturing every day.’ Thank you Adele feeling inspired to reflect my love in the clothes I choose to wear today and every day.
True fashion is about reflecting the beauty of our inside out to the world thus it can never be about following trends etc but purely about expressing our loveliness in what we choose to wear. For so many years I never felt satisfied with how I looked and it is great to recognise that this was because I was looking to fill the emptiness inside through outside confirmation, like papering over the cracks it was only a temporary fix before I was back to square one until I committed to building a loving relationship with myself and then chose clothes to express this.
“With truly taking care of myself and my body, I began to consistently and steadily feel a sense of my own lovely preciousness, and that is the feeling I was seeking to dress myself with all of my life. When we love and truly care for ourselves – from the inside – it doesn’t matter too much what we wear. We can look equally stunning in a pair of jeans and T shirt or dressed up to the nines. It is what we feel from the inside that really matters. Do we use fashion to hide in or show our true loveliness and power?
Who are we when we are not choosing to be who we truly are? We create so many identification through what we do – our professions, studies, hobbies, what we like/dislike, what we are good at and not so good at, what we have/don’t have etc. etc. Life becomes simpler when we start letting these go and making re-connection to our true essence our primary choice.
If we find ourselves ‘slave’ to anything – be it fashion, a hobby, a person, or any ideal, then we would all do well do develop a deeper relationship with ourselves such as you’ve described here Adele. For the power that we innately hold within is far stronger than any such thing, if we but give ourselves the opportunity to re-connect with it, and thereafter deepen this relationship. We have the capacity to observe the myriad of hooks and ensnarements industries such as fashion constantly stream out to us – to observe well, and recognise that we needn’t be at the mercy of such currents, and can actually determine very solidly, what is and is not true for us in any given situation.
An awesome sharing about personal liberation, thank-you Adele.
Liberation claimed not be striving to attain or ‘be’ more, but rather, by re-connecting to all that you are within.
Absolutely Victoria – the liberation is more of a shedding of what does not belong so the true and real-ness of who we are can be explored and expressed more freely.
Shopping without that connection to myself is a nightmare – I can never find what I want, don’t know what I want, and the shops just have nothing I like. We all know the feeling… we are odds with the world, Equally I know the opposite too: When I walk into any shop and there are 5 things that jump out, the day flows, the shopping is super easy. The way we feel is so super important at every level.
What I show is not what I am if I don’t honour myself first.
‘Naturally, how I wish to dress becomes an extension of the truth of who I am.’ This is a tag line waiting to be splashed on billboards everywhere as a reminder that we are not fashion…that fashion is an expression that comes from who we are first.
Beautifully presented Adele. I love your sharing and the understanding I have gained from your words. “The truth is I was using fashion to be everything but my true self.”
I am sure it is no different now to when I grew up – it was so much about what you were wearing! I went from not caring and wearing a tracksuit every day, to wearing drainpipe jeans every day – nothing remotely feminine! Now, I am learning what kinds of clothes I enjoy wearing and having fun experimenting. Such a shame it has taken me so long.
True fashion never needs approval… This is a beautiful statement… Countless millions of people are driven by external comparison in what they wear… Imagine being your own fashion queen… Fantastic ☺
The freedom of fashion, which lies within each of us – is the freedom from the constructs and dictations of the fashion industry.
What an inspiring article! Feels like it’s time for all of me to have a date with my wardrobe and see what I have been living when it comes to the clothes I own and/or wear.
I can completely relate to this article. I have been one to buy quality clothing, so it will last. What I am discovering though is that if I buy these items without true loving discernment, often they are not worn and eventually given away. For me now buying clothes comes first from my body and what it needs to support my choice to live in it with deep love, care and grace.
Adele your discovery of true fashion is inspiring to read and what a powerful reflection you offer to the fashion industry in supporting to breakdown all the ideals and beliefs this industry holds that forgets to celebrate and appreciate the deep beauty we all have within first and then dressing from this connection – very different to when we dress from an emptiness and needing the clothes to fulfill us in someway.
I now know fashion to be be the love that I emanate, which as you share Adele is timeless.
Beautiful Kimweston2, fashion from inside out, through our emanations brings it to a whole new level.
I used to copy what other’s wore so I would feel accepted. Now I’m feeling how I can explore what I like and am so inspired by many friends around me who have their own amazing styles. Copying other’s is like trying to copy the uniqueness of another’s expression. It never feels true on another.
I loved reading this blog Adele. Diamonds worn on the outside can never radiate what we hold within.
It is such a great and important point to raise, about how we communicate with each other through our clothing choices. Everything symbolises an expression of something deeper and I love how this is a constant communication that we have.
“I feel truly beautiful because it is my own love that I am now choosing to wear and share.” There is no greater cloth to wear than this.
“This is true fashion – fashion that is timeless, ageless, genderless and always in vogue; it never needs approval and it comes as a complete look that everyone is able to wear and look beautiful in.” Awesome Adele I feel a whole new fashion revelation coming on one that celebrates us for exactly who we are.