What True Fashion is About

For most of my life I have been seeking to present myself through the way I dress. I had endowed clothes with a power to express for me what I did not take the responsibility to live. I have never bought very expensive clothes, but I have certainly been through many different styles in my life, which I sought to perfect. If I had allowed myself to feel the disharmony in my appearance, I would have had to feel that I was living in disharmony and this would have exposed the comfort that was keeping me from seeing this truth.

Focusing my life on clothes and the perfecting of an outer appearance was my comfort to distract me from truly taking responsibility in connecting with myself and living that connection.

But the truth is, when I gave my power away to an outer image, no matter what I put on, it never gave me a true feeling of satisfaction. What looked nice on the outside actually reinforced a feeling of slavery – I was the slave of my relationship with clothes. If I didn’t have a certain look that I was after, I would feel like it was the end of the world.

I work in the Fashion Industry and this is our everyday life. We talk about clothes, we dream about clothes, we fall in love with clothes, we waste clothes, we hoard clothes, we spend all our money on clothes and we seek perfection in clothes. All of this is accepted as normal.

What made me question more deeply was the undeniable fact that, when I was honest, these repetitive choices still left me with a feeling of emptiness that was very unsettling. I gave myself a lot of patience and understanding, yet kept testing and being aware of how it felt when I continued this pattern of giving my power away to clothes and to the industry that I work for.

No matter what brands or designs I bought or wore, no matter how much time, effort and money I spent to complete my look, no matter all the approval the world gave me in confirming my uniqueness or sense of style – none of that made me more happy or confident. I was constantly seeking for the next look that would set me apart from everyone else. I used different clothing as a measure of how to present myself to different people so as to be accepted. If I wore an ‘office’ look to a fashion event, I would feel completely out of place.

I had many different circles of friends, so imagine how exhausting and expensive living in this way would be. Even when I wanted to quit being fashionable, I was still seeking approval in the anti-fashion statements that I wore. I was becoming more and more trapped and although I did not choose to see it, my body was feeling it all. Fashion is such an intimate part of our lives, and I began to question how I could dress myself to not feel perpetually empty.

Could this emptiness be a part of me that I was trying to fashionably hide?

Three years ago, because of Universal Medicine, I began to understand the responsibility of living self-love and self-care in my daily life. So I added a dose of that into what I wore and found the experience to be joyful and playful. Gradually I made love and care my commitment – the more I explored, the more things changed within me, which resulted in a gradual makeover in my closet.

The greatest change that I observed was – fashion used to be my protection. I used it to:

  • keep the world out
  • be attractive or unattractive
  • appear more superior or inferior
  • stand out just as much as to hide
  • fit in or to be aloof

The truth is, I was using fashion to be everything but my true self.

With truly taking care of myself and my body, I began to consistently and steadily feel a sense of my own lovely preciousness, and that is the feeling I was seeking to dress myself with all of my life. The confirmation of who I am that I was looking for is now tangibly felt and growing steadily within me, with the love and care I now no longer hold back for me.

Naturally, how I wish to dress becomes an extension of the truth of who I am. A renewed depth of simplicity is felt and seen. I feel truly beautiful because it is my own love that I am now choosing to wear and share. Love can’t be kept for one or a few: separatism and elitism just does not suit my taste any more. Now when I look into my heart closet, it is love that is selected and it is worn with deep care and nurturing every day.

This is true fashion – fashion that is timeless, ageless, genderless and always in vogue; it never needs approval and it comes as a complete look that everyone is able to wear and look beautiful in.

My deep appreciation for Serge Benhayon and the teachings of the Ageless Wisdom. Love is the true cool.

By Adele Leung, Creative Director/Fashion Stylist, Hong Kong

Further Reading:
A True Role Model: Universal Medicine = Universal Responsibility
Who Are You In The Latest Fashion Stakes?
Packaging And Opening Us Up

1,007 thoughts on “What True Fashion is About

  1. Fashion can simply be a very complicated way of denying ourselves and each other to be seen for who we really are.

    1. Sandra, fashion can be very complicated and exhausting. Working in this industry we express this complication and exhaustion in everything we do. When we consistently live from a dis-connection from ourselves it is a forever chase that is pitless, the fashion industry makes money from an emptiness we have accepted as normal and we are forever illusively escaping to get out of, by choosing a way that will keep us imprisoned. Yet it is not futile, because what we are seeking for we need not and in truth cannot look outside to find, as our love fills every crevice of emptiness and we are simply born with it.

      1. I worked for a big department store for years and was more anti-fashion but this was just a given up self loathing version of the fashionistas and I arrogantly would think I was above their shallowness! Same coin just landing on a different side. What really struck me was how awful people spoke to each other especially in the women’s buying department it was like they had free licence the further they went up the chain of command to do and say whatever they wanted. Interestingly I was good friends with the cleaner and she said the women’s toilets were always disgusting, yet you would walk out on the floor and all the women were beautifully presented, it was all a front and they had to let it out in the toilets. We can only play this game of self loathing for so long until we get so tired and if we are graced with coming along someone who actually loves themselves to watch, listen and learn. Amen for Serge Benhayon, Sara Williams, Natalie, Miranda, Simone Benhayon for showing there is another way.

      2. “the fashion industry makes money from an emptiness we have accepted as normal and we are forever illusively escaping to get out of, by choosing a way that will keep us imprisoned. ” That is important to understand Adele! When I go into big clothes shops I can feel the quality of emptiness and seeking for great clothes to compensate. I need to focus on stay present which doesn’t always work.

  2. Adele, this is a great exposé, so honest and lots to ponder on for everybody and how we relate with clothes, and why we make the choices we make. I remember growing up, as a teenager, it was always the clothes that apparently made me look slim that I was searching for everywhere…. trying to fit a picture, and I had totally lost the knowing of and connection to my essence – the most important fashion accessory there is : ).

    1. I agree Esther, we are made to believe with the whole fashion industry that we just need this or that product to reach the perfect look that we need to feel good about ourselves but as it turns out this is and always has been a big fat lie. It is interesting that we are still falling for it.

  3. In the fashion industry there are a lot of different camps of designs, all labelled to be different and all in competition and/or comparison with each other, but all fighting for recognition. Judgment, and non-acceptance builds the foundation of this industry. This is an industry that is not rooted in love, and it feeds on our common accepted choice of emptiness. Yet no matter how we adorn our physicality in this industry, this emptiness remains, and we know this is not the way. And so we try to anti-adorn physicality, and choose to hide in our clothes as well as in our expression, to see if this would make the emptiness go away. I have lived all of the above in the 18 years of working in this industry and have come to the conclusion that none of that works, emptiness cannot fill emptiness, we can temporarily feel better with the covering up, but only when I began to return to the responsibility of caring and nurturing for myself, did the gnawing emptiness begin to subside.

    1. Awesome exposure of the fashion industry Adele, and how it influences us all in our choices when buying clothes, based on feeling inadequate or empty.

      1. I agree lorettarapp. It has given me a whole new understanding of all that is playing out everywhere in regards to fashion and clothing.

      2. Yes true Loretta… so instead we can use cloth and material to adorn our bodies in honour of our inner beauty and our unique expression. We are all the same in essence but each of us has a beauty that may look and dress a little differently to capture that particular nuance of love that we are.

      3. This is indeed beautifully exposed. It so clearly show how very important the quality is we do everything in, as this quality will be part of the product, the things we have touched, the words we have spoken, and they all have an effect on us, greater than we think.

    2. Adele, the absolute power and authority in which you speak about how we use fashion to try and make ourselves feel better when in fact we feel empty inside is wonderful. We all are aware of the shallowness of this industry yet very few speak out about it and if they do they are in a reaction to it. Having someone from the industry speak about it who has been able to see through it is a true gift for us all.

      1. Being in reaction to what we have not taken the responsibility to express, is what keeps us being enslaved in so much of what we know in the world to be not true. What we regard as trivial or express in disinterest, is still an avoidance in understanding and expressing why we wish to disregard an aspect in our lives which we are all faced with every single day, such as putting clothes on. Very true Elizabeth, we will never feel better with fashion or anything else for that matter, this way.

      2. That is super true Adele about “What we regard as trivial or express in disinterest, is still an avoidance in understanding and expressing why we wish to disregard an aspect in our lives” this has asked me to look deeper at an aspect of my life I am avoiding and therefore am getting very flippant in my expression about it and angry all signs that I am not taking responsibility for my choices. Time to get real.

    3. Thank you Adele for sharing your own experience with working in the fashion industry. It is a bit shocking to read what you have to say: “Judgment, and non-acceptance builds the foundation of this industry.” This says a lot about the way we are all living – what a reflection for us all . . .

    4. Fashion and function are worlds apart. Having always lived in a place that had four proper seasons function was the fashion. Only the foolhardy would opt for fashion instead of function when it was -20. Spring is when the butterflies leave their cocoons shedding the functional for the practical becomes the natural fashion.

      1. That is the case when fashion has been defined as what is frivolous and extra that is put on like a cherry on top, rather than an extension of simply our essence, redfining what fashion is truly about, then fashion and function always unite.

    5. “gnawing emptiness”. A great couple of words that describe the feeling we cover up with cloths, but sometimes don’t realise that we are doing this. The emptiness is constantly with us until we actually take the time to accept this and consider that this is actually true, only then can we start plugging the holes that drain us.

      1. I can relate Matthew to this ‘gnawing emptiness’ which I too have used clothes to try and cover up. Having worked on healing those holes my relationship with clothes is completely different, one where I love expressing myself and how I feel opposed to them being like a patch covering up what it is that I don’t want to feel.

    6. That is such a powerful exposure of the game so many of us play in every moment, Adele, but which is seemingly magnified in the fashion industry. In a way it is almost easier to spot in fashion, but the same intention – to hide our emptiness by covering it up with something that looks good to the outside world – can be seen in so many other activities and industries.

      1. I agree Naren. We seem to have a myriad of ways to hide our true selves and fashion is just one of them. But fashion can also be a way to share and express the wonder that we all have inside. Like speaking words that exactly describe what we are feeling, we can wear materials, styles and colours that exactly represent the love we feel in our movements.

      2. Absolutely, Dean. Really beautifully put. Wearing clothes that reflect that wonder is an awesome expression of ourselves.

      3. Well said Naren, we use fashion as a way to hide our insecurities and to attract attention and be looked at and feel accepted when in fact we are connected to our own beauty we can use fashion to reflect to others what they need to see and feel in their bodies and that is the love they are.

      4. And what a fantastic way of expressing ourselves as well. Dress yourself in love as a gift to yourself and inspire others through the gift of love you give to them through the reflection of all of you!

    7. Adele in reading your sentence ‘In the fashion industry there are a lot of different camps of designs, all labelled to be different and all in competition and/or comparison with each other’, I came to feel that even though the different fashion houses would fight to say that they are not the same as other fashion houses and that they are of a higher quality or more individual or quirky or whatever, they are actually all just variations of the same ‘what is not love’. And when we wear them then we are adorning ourselves in ‘what is not love’. Emptiness wearing emptiness equals emptiness but if fullness wears emptiness then it is fullness and if emptiness wears fullness then it is reminded of the fullness that it comes from.

      1. When emptiness wears fullness, we are reminded of the fullness that we are, absolutely so Alexis, the future of fashion manufacturing is in evolution.

    8. Very inspiring Adele, thank you for sharing“ but only when I began to return to the responsibility of caring and nurturing for myself, did the gnawing emptiness begin to subside.”

  4. “For most of my life I have been seeking to present myself through the way I dress. I had endowed clothes with a power to express for me what I did not take the responsibility to live.” Great opening line Adele what came up for me while reading your post is just how manipulating we are when the focus is on the outside of us. Using how we dress to present to the world what we think they want from us through the fakeness of someone we are not in truth. In reality we all want the same to live in truth and reflect our essence truly connecting with humanity.

  5. Great exposure of the fashion world Adele and the games we play to distract ourselves from taking responsibility. It matters little which end of the scale (look or feel) we are striving to attain, attractive or unattractive, superior or inferior etc. they all keep us empty and away from our true selves.

  6. Anything that does not come from the foundation of love, will not produce what is loving. For love to be expressed, it has to start from truly caring for ourselves, no cover up on the outside will ever produce what is loving. No amount of slogans on love or heart shaped designs in fashion are truly loving and wearing them cannot present the love that we truly are, if the foundation that they are created from is not of love.

    1. Adele you wrote: “Anything that does not come from the foundation of love, will not produce what is loving.” For me that feels true as it is how I am with myself – the way I move my body and care for me in every second. That alone is something challenging as to who is really present in every moment?

  7. Clothes can be as grand as can be, but it is the acceptance of ourselves in this grandness that we will find stepping into such clothes fitting. And when we have accepted that we are truly this grand, no longer do we need anything external to confirm us, and thus the freedom to truly express. We can wear a ball gown to stand out and separate from the crowd, but we can also wear a ball gown in honour of the grandness felt of inter-connection with everyone and everything. The only difference is when we dress to stand out, we are in a constant need; but when we dress by impulse, the grandness does not diminish even when we are in tee shirt and jeans, there is true freedom.

    1. This is beautiful Adele. How freeing to always dress in honour of our grandness. Definitely a work in progress for me but in those times when I have chosen by impulse what to wear it has felt amazing.

    2. Beautifully said Adele…we can compete and separate, or we can connect first with ourselves and then with everyone – and it is simply a choice.

    3. “The only difference is when we dress to stand out, we are in a constant need; but when we dress by impulse, the grandness does not diminish even when we are in tee shirt and jeans, there is true freedom.” This is glorious, Adele. When we express from our glory there is no fashion, what we wear is then just clothing.

  8. Adele, this is a stunning and oh so exposing blog – I have been guilty of this ’crime’ myself, a complete slave to what I needed to look like – eventhough I have never been in the fashion industry I can feel how hugely affected I have been of the signals that are portrayed in magazines and so many other channels out there. What you’re saying here hits the nail on the head – ’Focusing my life on clothes and the perfecting of an outer appearance was my comfort to distract me from truly taking responsibility in connecting with myself and living that connection.’ – True connection to myself is something that today I am continuously learning and developing.

    1. It has gotten to a point for me where comfort has become agonising because it’s like an addiction, wanting more and more things outside myself to make me feel better.. nice clothes, a new leather sofa, higher paying job, people saying nice things and so on… but none of these things make me feel any better, in fact they make the seeming hole inside seem bigger. I know that there is no hole, just a beautiful being inside, yet I see how our creature comforts are such a diversion to what life is about. Life is about the glory that lives inside all of us, there is really nothing else we need to embrace but that.

      1. I remember feeling the same in my first job Dean. Being able to earn money in a complete lack of regard to myself then, just felt extremely empty. Yes we could fulfil with buying things and with a myriad of other choices in vouching for comfort, but the truth is that could never truly satisfy what we are looking for, and in fact, the constant comfort that we are protecting ourselves with is agonisingly covering up the gnawing emptiness that still needs to be addressed, which will never go away until we return to living the truth of ourselves.

  9. ’This is true fashion – fashion that is timeless, ageless, genderless and always in vogue; it never needs approval and it comes as a complete look that everyone is able to wear and look beautiful in.’ Absolutely adore this paragraph – so true, all we ever need to dress up in is the love that we all are.

    1. It is indeed a fabulous paragraph. Absolute power. I have noticed how many clothing companies have tried to write something similar in their catalogues, magazines or adverts – they pretend to extol the virtue of our true self, of what we already have – but are still insidiously maintaining the illusion that their piece of clothing will make us that much better or will (and this is the most absurd) help us to feel more of ourself. It’s kind of like Orwell’s 1984 – “all animals are equal, but some are more equal than others.”

      1. It is true Otto that words can be put out, but it is much more than what is said, that allows true change. Fashion companies can use all the “right” words, designs can feature all the “cool” slogans, but true advertising comes from our bodies, only a lived foundation of love in a body will produce what is love.

      2. So true Otto, the way in which emotional marketing is set up to hook and drive sales is so overt in today’s society. It is so positioned that it will make you feel better, develop or feed your self worth, which we all know is not true, but it is still what is presented.

      3. I love what you say Otto… how many clothing companies “…pretend to extol the virtue of true self, of what we already have”. How absurd, we already have within is what they say we need to get from them.

      4. It also further entrenches the belief that there is some kind of path of that we all need to embark on, some kind of arduous journey of self-discovery…which further cements the notion of ‘trying’. As a very great, very old, small green fella with unusually pointy ears once said – “Do, or do not. There is no try”. And he was right. It is just a choice. To connect to the deep wells of love that reside in us all and always have been, absolutely are and always will be, waiting for us.

    2. Absolutely Eva, and it is also a great opportunity to appreciate the reflection that is presented to others when we choose to be that so that people feel that they don’t have to try and look a certain way but just connect to their beauty within.

      1. There is that whole other side to fashion too where clothes can actually be worn to assist other people… what does that mean!
        It means that clothes can be worn in a certain way and with certain colours to instead of saying look at me and how much better and more beautiful than you I am, instead say for example love, warmth and decency are here in this person and you are the same inside.

  10. I like the term of “fashionably hiding”. We can do that with any sort of clothing, by dressing up or down. Clothing is a part of our expression – like how I do my hair, make-up and how I care, honor and celebrate me in general. It gives a reflection of how we walk through life and if we express all of who we are or try to hide. To find our true way of fashionably expressing is worth finding out because it really claims our preciousness. Everyone who does so, will become an inspiration for others and this is gold in this current days where we so used to using clothing to try to fill our lack of self-love or to hide.

      1. But. What I have noticed has changed in me now is that, in the past when I dressed up, people would notice the clothes. Now when I dress up, people notice me. Same level of dressing up. Proof indeed that we are way more powerful than any fashion!

      2. Ah yes Otto, shows also that it is about the intension behind the ‘dressing’ – do I dress up to hide (whatever) or to fill up an emptiness, or do I dress up to celebrate myself.

      3. We are way more powerful than any fashion, the testimonial to that also is when the clothes are generic so to speak, we may still be very much noticed, because what makes a person really stand out is but their shining light. Nurture and take responsibility in expressing this light, and all clothes we put on be true fashion.

      4. Or Sandra, do we dress just to keep warm?! I say this in all seriousness because it’s amazing in these winter months just looking around at how people dress themselves. It is such a basic and fundamental act of self care, and to see so many people putting vanity (or the need for recognition) first is a very stark illustration of what puppets we are to our emptiness.

      5. Gosh yes Otto – to put vanity before self care is such a common way to dress, specially for women. I just have to think about high heels… in that the way we use fashion in an abusive way and to abuse us.

    1. Very true Sandra. To add that people can also dress to feel superior to others hiding their own lack of self worth. Basically crushing people when you enter a room with the latest and hottest brand or trend. Much of the fashion industry has been built on supplying people that sense of fake self worth! If we would start wearing the true cool, as Adele so aptly is proposing, the fashion industry would change overnight, putting also many companies out of business.

    2. “To find our true way of fashionably expressing is worth finding out because it really claims our preciousness.” So true Sandra…honouring ourselves can’t help but bring out the gorgeousness and preciousness of who we innately are.

  11. In the end nothing we put on can make us feel beautiful if we do not feel comfortable in our own skin.

    1. That’s so true Esther!
      Your words are powerful and I feel me, living in my body, in my skin and how much I like it or not. And I realize that we radiate how we feel with ourselves and choose then clothing that support how we feel – in the one way or another.

      1. Absolutely Adele. When our eyes hold ourselves in love and acceptance, we cannot help but feel our grace, beauty and loveliness when we hold ourselves in that way.

    2. Yes well said Esther, nothing we wear can make us look beautiful if we do not feel comfortable in our skin. It is so important to connect to the true essence within.

    3. Very true Esther. I have experienced and seen a lot of teenage girls put hours and hours of time into their appearance, makeup and fashion, but remain feeling worthless and ‘ugly’. True beauty is all to do with our relationships with ourselves, how we treat our body and self appreciation, and nothing to do with an exterior image.

    4. Esther, that’s so true. I remember a period in my life when I was very unhappy and depressed and no matter what I wore I just felt aweful, no make up, no new cloths or new haircut made me feel better. I had to work on the inside to start healing me.

  12. What a beautiful and thought provoking contribution and another example of how we can turn the simple act of getting dressed into an emotional conundrum: do I hide, do I strut, do I feel inferior or superior, do I care or not care? Am I out to impress or be invisible? Every choice tells so much about how we truly feel about ourselves on any given day,

  13. Adele, I can relate to this, ‘If I had allowed myself to feel the disharmony in my appearance, I would have had to feel that I was living in disharmony’, until the last 5 years I did not care about my appearance, I dressed in cheap, often second hand clothes with the idea that it was a waste of time and money to care about what I wore, reflecting on this now this is how I felt about myself – that I was not worth the time and money. I feel very differently now and really enjoy wearing clothes that express my femininity and loveliness, as I feel more confident and adoring of myself, my clothes reflect this, I feel now that I am worth the time and money and love to wear clothes that feel gorgeous on me.

    1. I can really relate to this Rebecca, having dressed down myself for many years, not wanting to honour my natural beauty. Now I feel in to the quality of how feel and dress accordingly, now my wardrobe is evolving and expanding along with me.

  14. Loved your article, Adele, it gave me a big smile, especially the last part. Love is the new cool. Never out of fashion, costing nothing and always at reach in our heart closet. Brilliant !

      1. I agree Adele. Once we claim and choose to wear our own love we can all take fashion to another level. It can be playful and kooky, chic and sassy, colourful and comfortable… it can express who we are and how we feel every day.

  15. ’What made me question more deeply was the undeniable fact that, when I was honest, these repetitive choices still left me with a feeling of emptiness that was very unsettling. I gave myself a lot of patience and understanding, yet kept testing and being aware of how it felt when I continued this pattern of giving my power away to clothes and to the industry that I work for.’ Thank you Adele, for sharing your profound awareness on how it is possible to come back from deeply imprisoning patterns and behaviours.

  16. ’I used different clothing as a measure of how to present myself to different people so as to be accepted.’ This is very relatable – it is probably one of the most common ways to seek being ’accepted’.

    1. I agree Eva. And even many of those that would claim that they weren’t ‘puppets of fashion’ are still using clothes to hide behind…which is no less a prison.

    2. Eva I too can relate to this, I remember there was a way I dressed to fit in and be accepted in the corporate world, and then in a way to impress men during a dating phase. I still find myself sometimes still getting caught behind cloths.

  17. It is beautiful to be beautiful, to wear fashionable clothes, to have style – as long as this reflects what I feel inside of me anyway. The moment I depend on my looks, because they have to compensate an emptiness, I become a slave.

    1. Well said Felix, I know I use to hide behind looks and inside I was completely empty and hurt. Now it’s completely different, I connect to how I feel and dress accordingly, this allows me to connect to the beauty I feel inside.

  18. Gorgeous Adele… ‘This is true fashion – fashion that is timeless, ageless, genderless and always in vogue; it never needs approval and it comes as a complete look that everyone is able to wear and look beautiful in.’

  19. Someone made a reference the other day to ‘fashion’, (it wasn’t someone who would have read this blog). What I could feel was the deepened awareness this blog has offered and my contribution to the topic was offered with a connection to this blog. Our essence is always in fashion and that makes wearing anything fun, dressing our loveliness is always in fashion. Thanks Adele for offering a deepening foundation of loving being to our lives.

    1. Absolutely true Sandra, our essence is always in fashion, it always looks stunning, is worth a million bucks, and can literally look like any style we have seen or never seen before, there are never rules, because true fashion is much much more than what we see on the outside.

  20. A great expose Adele on how we can be influenced and at the mercy of the fashion industry when we lack the true confidence of being ourselves and seek outer images to please others or try to fit in.

    1. It is interesting isn’t it, how some outer shield apparently makes us feel more confident, or does it really?

  21. There is nothing more beautiful than seeing when a man or woman knows who they are and who wears their clothes with the absolute confidence in knowing that. It does not matter what they are wearing, it is how they hold themselves from within that makes them stand out.

    1. This is very true Linda – it is the confidence and absolute knowing of themselves and who they are that shines through.

  22. This is such a potent blog Adele. From a very young age I recall not being interested in wearing clothes that mum lovingly made for me because they were “not cool” and by wearing them I may not be accepted by the cool kids.. and being accepted by the cool kids meant everything at the time. Well that childhood imprint didn’t change too much into adulthood and only in recent years have I become vividly aware of the images that come into my mind. Images of being cool or fitting in that would overshadow my clothing choices and thereby it wasn’t the real me making the choice. Shopping for clothes as an expression of who I truly am vs buying clothes to get recognition and/or mask the emptiness are two completely different experiences.

    1. I had a similar experience Rob, where I was teased for what I wore. I remember feeling like I didn’t fit in because I didn’t have cool clothes like other kids. I also felt where others ‘dressed up’ to try to fill a void and to get recognition.

  23. Great article about clothes Adele.Thank you.
    I have often wondered what it would be like if, instead of a catwalk showing the clothes off, that the models simply wore shop clothes or a large paper bag with a belt and the model walking walked in her absolute gorgeous essence… that we see their essence, and not what they are wearing. It would be a exposing experiment to recognise just how much we load up on the garments and judge a person by what they wear rather than seeing them, their expression, for who they truly are. Likewise for the model, to let go of attaching their sense of worth to the clothes they are wearing, and walk totally being themselves. Would be a great experiment.

      1. Yes they are caught up in looking to impress, there is no connection to their essence. There feels an emptiness as they walk down the catwalk.

    1. Parading on a catwalk in itself is an act of separation, it is a pedestal that puts the models on a platform that says look at me, while the audience gaze from below. Being on stage to show something without the awareness of equality and unity, does not come from our essence, and would not express what is from our essence. The fashion catwalk can also be our catwalk in life, it is no different, which goes to show only when we can feel the true essence of ourselves would this be expressed in all we do, it has to first start from within.

      1. Absolutely Adele. I have never been on a fashion catwalk. But I have often put myself on a catwalk in everyday life. In fact, as soon as you put clothes on to impress or induce a reaction, you are on the catwalk – and, as you say, separated.

  24. Boy o boy I have been ‘guilty’ about this too: wearing the right clothes that should make me feel better, generating a sense of self worth. Beautiful from the outside generating self worth, which doesn’t last. Having true self worth, can’t be bought in a shop, does not cost anything, but takes effort to build. Self-worth are then the clothes we are always wearing.

    1. What takes effort is to get rid of all the ideas and believes that we have buried our self-worth with, thinking that we have to be this or that or look this way or that. Once we can let go of all this, we can reconnect to our divine essence, which naturally restores our sense of self-worth. Our worth is the worth of a son of God!

      1. Yes it is Judith! This feeling is so precious that no matter what we are dressed in feels absolutely and superbly divine. It is my absolute responsibility and also absolute joy to be feeling this every day and expressing it honestly in every way I go about life.

  25. I have always loved decorating myself with beautiful fabrics that are very soft and light and silky. They feel beautiful on my skin and flounce when I walk. This is quite a different side of the coin to assuming any identification with my clothes defining me, which I used to think. Today I still love decorating myself but much less for the benefit of comparing myself to others and more for based on how they support my expression my work and my comfort.

    1. I love your expression ‘decorating myself’. That is so gorgeous and a rock solid commitment to the act of dressing up being a celebration. Love it. After my shower this morning, I’m going to decorate myself.

      1. Cool Ottobathurst … fashion is like wrapping yourself like a present too. A gift to yourself and everyone you come in contact with will be able to feel the love, care and joy in how you dressed yourself. I can sense that I’d love to see how you decorate yourself.

  26. The simple act of dressing up only needs to be honest. There is no thought process that goes on when dressing from honesty. Clothes are an extension of how I feel, so it only needs to come from an honoring of my feelings. There is no right or wrong, no rules and definitely no perfection. Clothes are not there to impress anyone or and especially not to change how I am feeling—e.g. when I feel lousy if I attempt to change that feeling by covering up with something that elusively gives me elation, that would not be honest. It is much more simple and honest, to just dress as how I feel. In this honoring of myself, what it opens up is a clearer truth of a part of myself that does not change no matter how I feel, and that is then what the expression with clothes can open up to. This is the science of dressing true.

  27. Serge Benhayon has said many, many times that ‘everything is energy’ and ‘therefore everything is because of energy’. The clothes that we wear have an energetic origin, the way that we style or don’t style our hair has an energetic origin, whether we wear make up and how much make up we wear has an energetic origin, the type of bag we carry has an energetic origin, the type of shoes we wear has an energetic origin, every-thing begins in energy before it becomes matter therefore how we look on the outside has it’s start on the inside. What we are in truth looking at when we look at how a person chooses to dress is their relationship with themselves, which is why we are so transfixed when we look at Serge Benhayon or Natalie Benhayon as what we are actually seeing is their relationship with themselves.

    1. Absolutely Alexis. With a connection built with ourselves, everything we put on is an emanation of what energy that runs through us. That said, everything we put on no matter how it is made, designed, created becomes reimprinted with the choice of energy that we have chosen, so in effect, we are dressing the clothes rather than being dressed by the energy that the clothes have come with.

  28. Love your expose’ of the fashion industry Adele. Lots to ponder upon.
    For myself growing up I used clothes to fit in and hide the woman I am. Both masking the emptiness I felt within. Thanks to Natalie Benhayon and Universal Medicine I am now beginning to dress according to how I feel to complement the real me.

  29. I have never been into fashion but I do know that I have the tendency to ‘underdress’ so to not be seen or stand out for the beautiful woman that I am. A couple of days ago I really felt like wearing a dress and it felt so wonderful. My mind can kick in and go like: oh the weather, it’s cold or raining etc, but it felt great to not listen to that and to just wear what I felt like.

  30. gorgeous blog Adele, what we wear is such a big part of our expression in life, which is truly an extension of what we are on the inside, I totally agree that love is the true cool!

  31. “Naturally, how I wish to dress becomes an extension of the truth of who I am. A renewed depth of simplicity is felt and seen. I feel truly beautiful because it is my own love that I am now choosing to wear and share.” I have also found my dress has changed over the last few years, the more I have connected to the truth and simplicity of life, my attachment to ‘dress to impress’ has gone. Now I wear what my body feels to wear, and what I wear reflects how I feel.

  32. “The truth is, I was using fashion to be everything but my true self.” Fashion can be, and is for many, a great distraction from truly looking within at ourselves and our lives. It is all about the superficial outer world rather than coming to know the depth of who we truly are from within.

  33. “True fashion – fashion that is timeless, ageless, genderless and always in vogue; it never needs approval and it comes as a complete look that everyone is able to wear and look beautiful in.’ how beautiful how true and how different this is to our perceived ideas of fashion coming from a need to fit in and feel better about ourselves on the out side only.
    A really different approach Adele, and inspirational for the fashion industry and all of us. Thank you for your honesty.

  34. In the past we had castles and fortresses to keep people out. Nowadays we have beautiful clothes among many things that can be just as cold and protective

  35. Truly beautiful to read Adele, thank you for so honestly sharing. I love this line, ” Now when I look into my heart closet, it is love that is selected and it is worn with deep care and nurturing every day. “

    1. This is beautiful and deeply inspiring to look through my wardrobe to determine what is truly supporting me and what is not. There is a lot that we hold onto that can actually no longer serve us, so finding this very supportive to look at what is in my wardrobe and feel what is there to be moved on and what is there to support me going forward.

  36. Quite often you will hear the rebellious hippy say that they are not a slave to fashion an image like that of the mainstream society. Yet what they invariably fail to consider is that in their own way they are also slaves to fashion and image. The truth is nearly all of us manufacture a way of relating to the world that is designed to fit in to an image of one kind or another. Very few us us willingly show our true selves to the world, and fashion is only one of the myriad of ways by which we hide our true nature.

  37. Imagine waking up and choosing clothes that confirmed who we are rather than trying to choose a an outfit or costume that we feel will turn us into an image that we hold in our head. That is definitely something i play with each morning, am I willing to let the world see me or am I trying to be something else?

  38. “it never needs approval and it comes as a complete look that everyone is able to wear and look beautiful in.” This is key, and so freeing when you start to live with more love your truly don’t feel as inhibited and stifled by ideas of what you should be doing and then this plays out in every way including how you dress. I wear clothes and hats that I would not have dreamed of 5 years ago, because I no longer feel I am faking a look or trying too hard I am simply wearing something I love and that is enough for me.

  39. What fashion has taught me is honesty and acceptance. Every single day I have the opportunity to learn not to be perfect (as I have to get dressed every day), even when perfection is accepted as normal and almost a rule to be included in this industry. Not being perfect does not mean to disregard oneself or be disinterested in self-caring, quite the contrary, being honest simply means I can look at what my choices are in life without avoidance. Honesty may not look immaculate, but there is a gorgeous depth to it in which a seeking of perfection can never bring us to. Yet in realness there is a dropping of masks which opens up humility to self-develop and self-support.

    1. Love what you say Adele. Such lived wisdom is felt in your words. Beau-ti-ful. I specially like how you paint out the beauty of honesty. You lifted my awareness on saying that by in “realness there is a dropping of masks which opens up humility to self-develop and self-support”. The role of being perfect indeed blocks us to develop and (self) support. If we want to be perfect, even claim that we are perfect, there is no room for develop ourselves, so see what is not working in our lives.

  40. Today I chose clothes not only what felt right for me, but also what it would mean as a reflection for others to see. I chose to reflect the lightness I bring, as well in my clothes. Of course my inner light is the greatest asset and reflection that I can choose to wear.

  41. ‘No matter what brands or designs I bought or wore, no matter how much time, effort and money I spent to complete my look, no matter all the approval the world gave me in confirming my uniqueness or sense of style – none of that made me more happy or confident.’ No matter what we seek from the outside to complete us will ever satisfy us as the completeness we are seeking is ourselves, it is the wholeness of ourselves that we are missing and the world makes us believe that we will find it in all that what we have created in this world, but as your example so clearly shows, no matter how hard we try to complete us by finding the perfect look, style or altogether life style, it does not bring us what we are seeking.

  42. ‘I had endowed clothes with a power to express for me what I did not take the responsibility to live.’ I feel that I have done this too, to give an impression of an aspect of myself even if I did not feel it at the time. Thank you for this and an opportunity for me to ponder on this more.

  43. Fashion like everything in life can be used as a way to distract ourselves or deepen our connection. I have used fashion in both ways. Like you Adele, for a long time, I would spend many an hour pondering over what to buy, what to wear all in the hope to achieve a certain look or appearance where I would seek confirmation from outside of myself. Having come to Universal Medicine, I approach fashion in an entirely different way, where the way I dress is a reflection of how I feel on the inside. I am now super aware of what I choose to wear on any given day because if it isn’t in alignment with how I am feeling, that will be felt throughout the entire day.

  44. ‘What looked nice on the outside actually reinforced a feeling of slavery – I was the slave of my relationship with clothes.’ I like this way of looking at life, it gives us the perspective of how much indeed we enslave ourselves with the need to fulfil an outer image. It takes the joy out of life.

  45. When we look at fashion we can clearly see how much we have made life about an image to put on our walls than about us the people living in this world.

  46. We learn to be chameleons in this world always adapting to the ciscumstances and environments, instead of staying and showing our true colour all the time.

  47. What we dress true, there are no rules.
    Every single moment it is a sensing of what is needed, both for ourselves and for everyone else. This does not mean we dress to fit in, rather it is a very simple and joyful responsibility of feeling how divinity can be expressed. There is no thinking in this process, and it does not just happen every morning when we open our closets or just the night before when we lay out our clothes for the next day. It is happening every moment of every day. All our choices and our movments will lead to how we dress and present ourselves, and the truth is it is just one life interconnected with everything else.

  48. I love the idea of looking into my “heart closet” to figure out what I want to wear and how I want to wear it.

  49. Thank you Adele for a really inspiring and insightful sharing, I have recently been looking at my clothes and wanting to make different choices, choices not so much about how I look from the outside but how I feel from the inside out in the clothes I am choosing to wear. This is a very timely blog for me.

  50. For me fashion was something to avoid as I didn’t want to show the world who I was, I constantly dressed down so I didn’t stand out. I thought myself not worthy to wear beautiful clothes. After coming to Universal Medicine there is hardly a piece of clothing left from the old days of disregard, now stands a man that dresses in the quality that reflects the beauty held within.

  51. “Could this emptiness be a part of me that I was trying to fashionably hide?” What a great question Adele, we focus so much on the outer, what we wear, what will people think, spending so much money on exactly the right clothes, accessories and shoes. Yet if we spent as much time on our outer appearance that we do with our inner, we would be looking at a very different society.

  52. Great blog Adele – what damage we cause ourselves through comparison and wanting to be anything other than we are, both energetically and physically – as with shoes! I had something going on with my toes last year and chose to go through all my shoes and discard anything that did not feel good on them, in spite of my mind arguing the point of how much they had cost, how little they had been worn, plenty of life left in them etc.
    My feet have loved this and now cannot bear to put up with anything that does not support them or hurts in any way. Self care is so lovely rather than being dictated to by what is acceptable in fashion.

  53. You’re so right Adele. True fashion is ageless, gender less and comes from the heart. When I feel like me, it is the best fashion.

  54. That what Adele brings here is huge. If we are honost we can see that we all play a part in this acting out in one big dramashow. The true beauty we are we hide within, behind our clothes. We do this for so long that we are exhausted of keeping our energy locked inside even all wants to express out. If we was expressing in full our beauty and then choose our dresses from there we will feel a beautiful confirmation of ourselves which we then share with others.

  55. Adele you wrote: “The truth is, I was using fashion to be everything but my true self.” I love your honesty as it is an inspiration for me to be honest too.

  56. No matter how much the clothes cost, how cool they look, they will not take away the pain of separation within. It is how I feel inside that makes all the difference and when I feel great first and then put on the clothes to confirm my greatness, boy do I feel amazing!

  57. Do we let our clothes determine what we feel, or does the expression of our inner-most feelings determine how we wear our clothes?

  58. The identity with our clothes is age old. They are used to tribalise ourselves and tell others what group we belong to. This can range from full on gang colours, to wearing your hat cocked at a particular angle. But none of this speaks to what we are within, and no matter what we wear it will never change that. Our identification with the outer layers of ourselves is only that: a layer. It covers a brilliant light and a rich inner world, which is as visible as we choose it to be.

  59. A brilliant trip through the illusion of fashion and why we are all ‘users’ in some way. The need to cover up our perceived faults or compensate for our insecurities through what we wear can be seen and felt by everyone on some level anyway, so who are we trying to kid? The best form of clothing is that which reflects who we truly are inside – the beauty within. Anything else is just a mask, a mantle and a protection from the emptiness we’re feeling. Once we focus on living in a way that addresses the emptiness then our beauty naturally shines through what we choose to dress in because the choice comes from who we are and not from what we’re trying to be or not to be.

  60. A true lesson on fashion Adele. I too can relate to this experience.The more lost in my disconnect of who I am the harder it was to know how to dress. The more in connection even the simplest of out fits looked and felt great.

  61. Although we may think that our clothing is only the outer ‘look’ of our appearance, or there to protect us from the harsh whether environment, it actually does so much more to us. The clothing we wear is to support our bodies in the beauty and delicateness it is and in that everything matters, as the type of fabric, the way it dresses, the colour and the level of protection to cold or heat to name a few, are all equally important in serving our bodies in doing our jobs and to truly be and live who we are.

  62. We can express so much through the way we dress, but one of the coolest things is how the way we dress and care for ourselves can inspire another person to introduce that same care and cherishing into their day.

  63. I must say that I have been fooled by fashion several times, especially as a teenager wanting to be cool and to fit in. So much easier just to be me in what I wear without wondering what the trend is.

  64. This is a great article that exposes so much that is going on in the fashion industry. The difference is that you ask so many needed questions with gentleness and understanding and full respect for the people working within the fashion system. We have all been effected by the fashion industry, and clothing is a huge part of our lives. ‘I had endowed clothes with a power to express for me what I did not take the responsibility to live.’ I can totally relate to this Adele. It was when I was feeling most disconnected that I would wear clothes that made me attractive or send a message that said ‘don’t come near me.’ I wanted to hide behind the image of my clothes and distract people from asking questions like ‘how are you really feeling?’ I have become more and more aware of the real messages that people send out through their clothes. Often the message is opposite to how the person feels. Yet how often do we question these messages and look beyond the clothing?

  65. Thank you Adele for another great article, of late I have been looking at the way i dress at home, going out I take care in how I am dressed and how my clothes feel, But at home I seem to drop the ball, I love this line, “Now when I look into my heart closet, it is love that is selected and it is worn with deep care and nurturing every day. “

  66. I was just reflecting on how this blog and the comments will eventually become our way of expressing when walking down the street and I get the feel for just how expansive life will be.

  67. Love is the true cool is beautiful. The Fashion Industry, like many industries, has its own language, it’s own way of knowing who belongs and who is an outsider. This tells me that it is not inclusive. It is competitive and therefore poisonous. I work in the arts. There is a language to be learned where they even change the meanings of words. This feels like it is not done to express better but to separate the arts people from the others. I see and feel this from many industries.
    There is a way of being in these industries and choosing fashion from love and not for competition but for joy. Dressing with love is the way.

  68. Yes it’s very different when we dress from the heart closet and do so as a celebration and sharing of us in the world, it’s actually then we realise that we’re not just dressing for us, we’re dressing for all in a way that allows us and all we meet to be themselves, that’s the true power of true expression in fashion.

  69. ‘Now when I look into my heart closet, it is love that is selected and it is worn with deep care and nurturing every day’. Love it Adele, beautifully said.

  70. Keeping up with the current fashion trends literally has us women chasing our tails for next season will always bring another style, cut, colour to buy and squeeze into our already bulging wardrobes. But when we recognise that no amount of clothes regardless of the quality will ever satisfy that insatiable need to seek approval from others and to ‘perfect our outer appearance’, we begin to claim our true fashion from within.

  71. I have spent my life avoiding fashion and seeing clothes purely as functional. Either super smart in suits and ties for work or jeans and teeshirts at home, but with no care as to how I felt in these clothes or really how I looked in them either seeing myself as a fashion rebel. Recently I’ve been having a clothes renaissance, learning to shop and buy clothes that I feel great in has revealed to me what I have been missing all these years of only seeing clothes as functional. I still have no idea of what is fashionable and what is not, and I care not about that.

  72. There is nothing a person can wear that can compare to the look and feel of someone who is truly looking after and loving themselves – the clothes are just one part of the whole expression.

  73. ‘I had endowed clothes with a power to express for me what I did not take the responsibility to live.’
    This is huge, and I wonder how many other ways we do this in life. Like our career, family, social groups, hobbies, everything! When we make it about identity and looking a certain way we fail to see the bigger picture and acknowledge the awe of what we all carry within. Making it about the inner instead of the outer has been a huge change in my life.

  74. I loved reading this blog, it really exposes how we try to find an image that either allows us to stand out from the crowd or hide away, although when we wear something, and have an open heart it reflects everything we are on the inside out, rather than trying to be something from the outside in.

  75. Fashion is just one example of many things we choose to hide behind and use as a protection, to not allow ourselves to be truly seen. Work and family are two others: are we fully ourselves in work, and with our families, bringing all of us into what we do and not holding back? Or are we perpetuating comfortable scenarios where we don’t say what we feel but hold back, not wanting to rock the boat? The more I commit to taking care of myself, the easier it becomes to let go and to express what is there to be said.. it takes time and a lot of commitment, but it is so worth it.

  76. Life is always calling us to go deeper in the care for ourselves. In the areas we are now natural in moving as such, we will be shown the areas we can work more on, life is amazing that we are offered opportunities to be lifted up in every aspect, there is never any destination.

  77. I had the opposite relationship when I was younger… just no relationship at all with fashion – clothes were just this functional thing that needed to be bought periodically. Functional it may be, but there was a total lack of expression, a wasted opportunity to have a bit of fun, to wear colours that I felt in the day, to dress up for certain occasions or pyjama days. To allow my choice of clothes to support me. These days there is a healthy balance and I am more for it.

  78. When you meet someone who is confident and knows who they are it is the essence of the being within that you feel before you even notice what they are wearing. It is the person you are connecting with, not the clothes.

  79. Fashion can certainly be used to hide – I for many years was unfashionable and dressing down as a way of not expressing myself. My level of self-care is reflected in what I choose to wear and how I wear it.

  80. An article such as this is one day destined to be printed in fashion magazines. Bringing us to the essence of a woman, and the fashion industry to intimately offer clothing that holds women in their natural essence of grace.

  81. Some fashions may try to hide or even over emphasise our natural body shape or but our true grace and elegance is always lying underneath the facade of what is on the outside just waiting to be expressed in its fullness.

  82. It is beautiful to come from where you have consumed by fashion and the beliefs within, to choosing to dress as an encapsulation of who you are. This is a reflection that is greatly needed in the world for so many give power to the outer at the expense of what is truly important.

  83. Using fashion as something to hide behind, to not take responsibility for what we’re not willing to live ourselves, can be applied to anything. For me it’s words and my mind.. going off into my head, planning and writing. To start to use words and writing in a true way feels completely different; exposing of how I use expression and not expressing as something I can identify myself with, and/or hide – and how I can use this awareness as inspiration to express all that I truly am, and not who I think I need to be.

  84. Fashion is a beautiful tool to express our true nature or to hide what is truly going on, it is our own way of being that is shown in the way we dress or not. It is a great part of our lives when we look at it in this way and feel what is true or not.

  85. ‘I used different clothing as a measure of how to present myself to different people so as to be accepted.’ – this highlights to me and exposes the driving force of fashion as we see it today. I too was caught up in the illusion that comes through fashion, that is gives us a false sense of power through acceptance, attention, recognition or control through hiding. Yet at the end of the day when we are naked once again how do we truly feel about ourselves? Do we feel fulfilled and confident in who we are? If we are not feeling great about ourselves then we are merely limiting who we are by investing only in what we wear, and at the mercy of the response we receive from the world outside of us. But with this we completely miss the far greater world within to explore, where who we are within already knows how to walk our glory, in true style of our essence, of all that we are. The clothes we then choose to wear are a confirmation and as you say ‘extension’ of the gorgeousness we feel within.

    1. Interesting point about nakedness Carola – it got me thinking about the plague of body mutilation, like piercing, tattoos and cosmetic surgery. We’ve gone beyond clothes to achieve acceptance, recognition and control and are wearing even our naked bodies in a way that identifies us to some sort of genre. In saying that – tribes have been using tattoos and piercings for similar reasons for a very long time.

  86. When the clothes we choose to wear are an extension of how we feel with ourselves on the inside – we naturally flow in a style that suits our unique expression.

  87. “This is true fashion – fashion that is timeless, ageless, genderless and always in vogue; it never needs approval and it comes as a complete look that everyone is able to wear and look beautiful in.” Awesome Adele I feel a whole new fashion revelation coming on one that celebrates us for exactly who we are.

  88. “I feel truly beautiful because it is my own love that I am now choosing to wear and share.” There is no greater cloth to wear than this.

  89. It is such a great and important point to raise, about how we communicate with each other through our clothing choices. Everything symbolises an expression of something deeper and I love how this is a constant communication that we have.

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s