Letting Go of an Old Way of Protecting Myself

When I was a child I was scared of the dark, which is common for a lot of people. As I was going off to sleep I would often feel a presence around me that felt big, cold and imposing. I would not want to close my eyes and would choose to lie on my back so I could see every corner of my bedroom.

I was hypersensitive and could feel every little change in the energy around me. I was on high alert and there was so much tension in my body. It was very difficult to go to sleep and there was only so many times I could call my parents in to check and see if anything was under the bed or in the cupboard. They never found anything sneakily hiding in my room but without a doubt I could feel that something was there lurking in the shadows even though there was no visual proof.

I found it very difficult to accept what I was feeling in my body. The anxiousness felt so big and unbearable that I began to disconnect from my body and escape into my head where I would make up stories and run scenes of lovely images in my mind. This felt comforting and I would eventually fall off to sleep.

From this time on, I often used this escape plan of leaving my body and going into the head to deal with feelings that I didn’t want to accept were there. I noticed the hypersensitivity that was there all the time. I was forever on alert, watching and waiting for the next imposing feeling to be there and then I would use my emergency escape plan which was to go into my head and distract myself with thoughts for relief.

This disconnect from my body continued into adulthood. I would constantly run conversations through my mind, making plans or daydreaming about what might happen. It was like I was a walking head completely disconnected from my body and filled with distracting thoughts while I went about the activity of my life.

While on one level, this escaping seemed comforting, there was also a constant feeling of raciness and a huge anxiety that I couldn’t ignore. I understood that I had created this disconnection by dulling my awareness and I enjoyed the relief it provided, but what I didn’t account for was the misery it also brought to my life.

Choosing to live in this dulled down way felt like a part of me was achingly missing – no wonder I was always anxious!

With the support of Universal Medicine’s Healing modalities I have been re-connecting with my body, re-building my awareness and escaping less and less into my mind. I have also reconnected to the truth that all is energy and that there has always been an unseen energetic outplay rippling underneath the physicality of life that we all have experienced but rarely speak of. For example, we have all felt what it is like when we talk with a friend who says they are fine but we can feel that behind this “I’m ok” facade there is something disturbing them.

We feel this energetic outplay all the time; we cannot stop feeling it but we can choose to live in a way, like I did, that numbs this awareness and makes us feel like it doesn’t exist. We can come back from this choice though, by connecting to our body and allowing ourselves once again to be honest about how and what we feel.

The other day I went to a whole new level with this connection and I had the most exquisite feeling of surrender where my body was leading and my mind was following smoothly along. I felt so solid and grounded; there was an unwavering confidence that my body just knew how to move and what to do next.

I also felt open to accepting all that was going on around me, no judgment, simply acceptance with a knowing that with this connection to my body I could handle anything that was to come my way.

The harmony I felt was amazing and yet so natural and it felt like every cell in my body was working as one. My mind was not racy, it was clear and focused on how my movements flowed and the centeredness I felt.

There was such a home-like quality in this level of surrender to my body, I knew without a doubt this is the way we are meant to live: the wisdom of the body leading with the mind in full presence and focusing on every minute movement that is made.

The depth of this experience has left a beautiful new point of knowing for me to build on. I have strengthened my commitment to let go of my escape plan and continue to build this relationship with my body that supports me to feel the enormous wisdom that we all hold within.

I now know without a doubt that to let ourselves feel and be aware of all that goes on around us is one of our greatest assets, because this means we can have a true understanding of the energetic outplay of all things and thus make choices that support us to stay in our connection and keep building our knowing of life.

By Bianca Barban, Registered Nurse, Melbourne

Further Reading:
Everything Is Because of Energy
The Gift of Clairsentience: Reclaiming My Ability To Feel Energy
The Nature of Energy: A Bathtub Lesson

809 thoughts on “Letting Go of an Old Way of Protecting Myself

  1. Anxiousness is feeling that we are not able to cope with what we are going to be faced with, and as I am understanding it now it is a choice I make, when I make life about connection, staying with my body instead of going into my head, I feel much more settled.

  2. Thank you Bianca, it’s always a reminder for me when I read this that the over thinking is a way to try to cope with being sensitive to all I feel in life, an escape plan that unfortunately has its own consequences. This is a great line about learning to live from the whole body and what it brings “a knowing that with this connection to my body I could handle anything that was to come my way.”

  3. It shows us that through feeling our body and connecting to it step by step deeper, we actually start to understand energy and its flow through us. And actually does our physicality and our non-physicality starts to co-relate and make sense.

  4. When i go into anxiety or feel myself getting anxious about something… i know that i’ve left not just myself but also myself in connection with my body.. And that easiest way to feel less tense, less anxious and restore some of the lost confidence is through movement. Movement changes the thoughts, and changed thoughts lead to moving differently.

  5. Whether we want to be aware of it or not we all get affected by all of the unsaid stuff that is there between people, it seems the more we ignore it the more affected we are and the more we choose to read it, then we give ourselves the opportunity to not be affected by it.

  6. We so need to start supporting and teaching kids how to be with these forces and presences they feel. So many people have experienced the sense that you are not alone, that there is a shadow lurking somewhere in the room or as kids had the ‘monsters’ visit us while we’re sleeping, yet we still don’t talk about this openly in conversations and for speaking up you can be labelled ‘crazy’.

    1. I so agree Susie W. I was told that it was all in my imagination but I could feel that there was some anxiety in my mother sometimes when I told her what was scary to me as a child. I feel she could feel things too but just wanted to reassure us as children and pretend there was no such thing as unseen forces, when all along she knew there were. Our society is a lot more open now but generally I feel children are not told the truth about the energies at play. Serge Benhayon has been very clear about how these different energies work and it has helped me to understand so much that before was mysterious and no one seemed to have answers for.

  7. So the more we surrender to the love and truth within the more solid our foundation and the less the outside affects us. From experience I know this to be true the more I am connected with me my sensitivity stays the same but energy that does not feel harmonious outside of me affects me less and less. Although this is still very much in progress and I feel like this is just the tip the iceberg with regards to just how much love I can be.

  8. We may talk about protection (new or old ways). We may also talk about the same but by only talking about movements. In the first we are mainly individuals and remain us such. In the second, we bring everything and everyone with us. To keep moving freely is the key.

  9. When we go into protection to not feel, we actually close the door on so much more. And the reality is you can actually never not feel, it is impossible as energy runs through us all the time. You can check out, disassociate, build up walls of protection, but not actually stop it. It is wiser to begin to understand energy, and support yourself to stay with your body and to feel what is going on, and from there you can begin to access the incredible wisdom that your body offers you.

    1. It is much wiser to stay connected with our bodies, understand, read and feel energies, and what is truly going on in this world.

  10. It is interesting I chose to re-read this Bianca. I have been observing a pattern and caught myself withdrawing and putting up walls of protection recently. But when i felt the quality of the energy within me, I was able to stay open and let go and simply hold me and express from the reconnection within my body. No protection or reaction.. it was very cool.

  11. Bianca, this feels very true; ‘simply acceptance with a knowing that with this connection to my body I could handle anything that was to come my way’, when I choose to be present in my body I feel a solidness, strength and power, I feel confident in what I am doing and what to say, this feels like a very simple, beautiful way to live and a way I am choosing more and more.

    1. We are powerful beings when connected to our body, surrendering to the wisdom of the Universe,
      ‘simply acceptance with a knowing that with this connection to my body I could handle anything that was to come my way’,

  12. It’s great to break down the realities of life; that we are sensitive and aware of the energetic outplay behind the physical, and that there can be a lot to feel that is uncomfortable or imposing, and this can lead to habits like racy thinking or other ways to dull or make ourselves heavy to stop our awareness. We can either try to escape or fight the body somehow, but as you have shared Bianca actually being with the body and letting it lead fully equips us to deal with what is in front of us.

  13. Connecting to the body and honouring it for all that it brings is to live in harmony with ourselves and each other. When we choose to ignore our body it will offer us a healing by way of illness and disease at which point we can either carry on as before or by beginning the path of return to a way of livingness that brings true love and wisdom into our lives.

  14. I too was a child who was incredibly scared of the dark and convinced that there were monsters waiting to get me. My parents just didn’t know how to deal with this fear so I can feel that like you I began to build walls of protection around myself, walls that sadly not only kept the ‘monsters’ out but also everyone else. And of course, at the same time those walls kept me separated from the world. It goes to show that our children need all the support that is possible when they share their fears so that the world can feel like a safe place for them to live in and those walls do not need to be built.

  15. What we life is what we breathe so the quality of breath is our everything. Our movement that is one with our breath than equalls importance and so is our daily interaction effected and so on and on.. Powerful when we understand the authority we have once we step into our power that is our responsibility from the angle we need to particulary shine – on

  16. When I choose anxiousness to not feel my fragility I am leaving myself behind and play ball with my body, it is a complete disconnection from the wisdom of the body. My way to come back to me and my tenderness is to feel the smallest movements and sensations in parts of my body and to allow my body to guide me.

  17. I was walking down a dark alleyway just the other day and felt someoone walking up behind me which confirmed how aware I am of all that is going on around me, naturally so. I then have a choice to either embrace this awareness or choose to dull it down and convince myself that it’s not really happening.

  18. “I also felt open to accepting all that was going on around me, no judgment, simply acceptance with a knowing that with this connection to my body I could handle anything that was to come my way.” We can forget that in trying to protect ourselves or not feel what is going on around us, we leave ourselves open to not being able to deal with what we feel and what happens because we feel ‘blindsided’. If we stay open to feeling everything we are likely to find we are fully equipped to deal with it all.

  19. re-reading this blog made me realise that pretty much every child has the experience of nightmares, feeling there are monsters in the room and being scared in the dark. I know I had. Yet we have never even stopped to explore what this is about and brush it off as if it is nothing. But once we realise all is energy we will know that nothing is nothing and we will be compelled to look deeper and uncover a energetic truth that was otherwise hidden but is real and true for every child in this world.

    1. As children, we can feel we are the only one experiencing ‘that there is something else’ in the room as we try to go to sleep. To be able to talk about this, and know it is very common, would support children, and even more so to explain what is the truth of the situation.

  20. What you share Bianca is both beautiful and profound, our body is so wise, ‘the wisdom of the body leading with the mind in full presence and focusing on every minute movement that is made.’ If we were to bring this way of living into our lives I am sure we would all experience a more loving way of being.

  21. Connecting with our bodies, being honest with what we feel, and allowing ourselves to surrender allows harmony to come in, ‘The other day I went to a whole new level with this connection and I had the most exquisite feeling of surrender where my body was leading and my mind was following smoothly along.’

  22. We really have gotten it all backwards by believing that we can protect ourselves from being hurt by dulling ourselves down and making a choice to not feel everything. The only true protection is allowing ourselves to be transparent and aware of all that is before us.

  23. It is likely a common thing for many of us to have different strategies for not being with ourselves, as in feeling us in our body. Things like TV, drugs, alcohol, racy foods and so on. So when the decision is made to feel again, it can be a bit confronting, and take some time to adjust to this way of living while feeling who we truly are.

    1. Yes, it’s quite a journey and for me in the early days the anxiety and exhaustion was so extreme that I would frequently numb myself with coffee and cake before I was willing to really feel what was going on. Now, I would not even think of drinking coffee as I know it would take me away from the stillness and joy I feel in my body.

  24. Choosing to dull our awareness and escape in to our head, creates new problems in itself; bringing it back to being in our body and staying connected with our body is the way forward and what I am choosing.

  25. Escape plans we have many and some are quite sophisticated in the sense of being well accepted and or even held in high esteem as they fit the common standards or ideals like for example being very intelligent/intellectual, working hard, being successful, doing good, etc. It sometimes needs a wake -up call to shake us out of the slumber of numbness and comfort before we even get to recognise the insidious falseness we have happily bought into.

  26. It is a massive adjustment to stop escaping into my mind, to again trust my body and in that trust be absolutely willing to fill every cell that it is made up of with my presence. There is this constant trigger mechanism that I have, to protect, that goes off at the slightest thing that again reduces my presence, pulling away from fully owning my body. What I am coming to learn, through much trial and error, is that when I don’t fill my body, it is open to be filled, immediately with energy that is not me, that comes from the world around and this then alters my feelings and thoughts. My learning that what I have thought to be protection is actually when I am least protected, as my body is open to be filled with whatever. True protection, if you want to call it that is to fully allow my body to be filled with my essence.

    1. Thank you Leigh, I needed that reminder today. We are never empty so what are we allowing to fill the space left by us reducing who we are as a result of not wanting to feel all there is to feel? Embracing ourselves in full means not reacting to what we feel around us or see but simply observing it.

  27. There is so much in this blog that I can relate to. How do we let go of years of ingrained protection and not being aware of how much protection we are in, and how much we keep people at a safe distance unable to truly connect with others – this was my old life. With the support of the esoteric healing modalities, the barriers to my heart, one by one came tumbling down. My life now is so much richer in terms of connection and allowing myself to feel and discern energy.

  28. Protecting ourselves has never been healthy.. thus we need to find ourselves back and open ourselves up, letting go of this old way of protecting ourselves — so that we can truly be loving again.

  29. With the support of Universal Medicine amazing modalities, I was able to release so much baggage that I had collected over the years, most of it not mine…. and as I did, I was able to once again honour all that I felt and to trust all that I felt which I can feel now is the only true compass in life.

    1. I love how you describe your “escape plan”, I think most of us commit to a certain level to life but we do always have an escape plan – now what would life look like if we committed one billion percent without having a potential escape plan for when things get rocky or we’ve had enough?

  30. Living from our body is something I am learning as an amateur. It is very beautiful and a way where it feels surrender is natural and nothing can compare to it, I am giving it a try and life opens up more and more opportunities for me to go deeper and to open up more.

  31. It is a fact, we cannot ever stop feeling energy, so we can either embrace our sensitivity or learn to live with it, seeing the blessing that is on offer or we can harden in order to get a false sense of protection that will ultimately affect the quality of our living, it is simply a choice.

  32. If we think of our body as a our gateway to life and living with a greater sense of awareness at all points in time – then how would we treat it today?

  33. I love what you share Bianca, and can so relate; I am now enjoying being with my body more and allowing that to lead the way is becoming more familiar.

  34. What I’ve noticed is that I feel anxious when there’s something I’m feeling but haven’t expressed to myself. It’s like it’s sitting there, gnawing away, an unspoken murkiness of something hovering close by that I don’t want to look at. But it’s only by shining a light on the anxiousness that it actually goes away. Ignoring it means it continues to fester, and I can only distract myself from it for so long. By actually dealing with it, looking at what it is that I’m not wanting to feel, it’s never as bad as I think it’s going to be, and it leaves my body feeling instantly lighter and freer.

  35. This is so familiar Bianca, I’ve spent a lot of my life leaving my body and going off in my head, but in fact as I’m come back to reclaiming my body I can see that I know exactly what is needed when I’m with it and it’s my greatest guide and life just becomes simpler. It’s still a work in progress as I learn to break down those old habits that the mind knows when in fact it’s not true, the mind is fed and rather than being a mind on a stick why not be a body being with and bringing the mind alongside.

  36. “I now know without a doubt that to let ourselves feel and be aware of all that goes on around us is one of our greatest assets,….” When we choose to feel everything – so called ‘good’ and ‘bad’ – we are then in a position to understand and make sense of the world. Trying to protect ourselves by remaining unaware does everyone a disservice.

  37. Bianca I had a similar experience to you as a child and to me this is the evil of those energies that are as yet unseen but play havoc when we are children because the energies deliberately target young children to scare them into contracting into their bodies or leaving them completely. My family never believed me when I told them about the energies that plagued me as a child. And it wasn’t until I was in my mid 50’s that while attending a workshop of Universal Medicine that Serge Benhayon asked people to put their hand up if they had such an experience and as I looked around the room the vast majority had their hands up! But no one talks about this? We seem to keep it to ourselves? For me it wasn’t until someone in my family had an visitation in the night by an energy that they were at last able to understand what I had been telling them as a child. They were terrified by the experience and it took a long time for them to settle again in their bodies.

  38. Unseen (but felt) forces are most scary when we choose not to see them. Unfortunately they are designed to scare us so that we then choose to do our best to shut off from them and when this happens, they can have their merry way with us and we are walking through life with blinkers on and not in the fullness of our awareness. They win. Whereas if we choose to stay aware we can read/see/feel these forces and when we do that, game is up.

  39. When we let go and trust, life becomes a lot easier (obviously!), because we’re not in this constant state of high-alert. We allow ourselves to connect to our bodies and actually be in our body, instead of constantly trying to orchestrate and plan everything from our minds – an exhausting and complicated way to live.

  40. How easily we may fall back on former patterns and behaviours that have given us some relief from the tension we feel… and yet what an amazing opportunity to let go of such ways and to reconnect to the whole and true us and to at one with our body and all that we are feeling in any moment.

  41. Thank you for sharing the turn around you have experienced in your body. It is amazing to hear what happens when we are willing to feel everything – and that the more we experiment and trust this, the more it becomes natural to us.

  42. “The depth of this experience has left a beautiful new point of knowing for me to build on.”

    Once we know something, it can never be undone. It becomes a marker in your body. Whether you choose to live it or not, is up to you, but the miracle is, that it is always there for you to draw from if you so choose.

  43. “I now know without a doubt that to let ourselves feel and be aware of all that goes on around us is one of our greatest assets” – I love this. When we’ve chosen to be unaware for so long coming back can be a bit scary as we have to feel all that we’ve chosen not to feel. But choosing to be unaware is like walking around with blinkers on, which can’t really lead to us expressing the fullness of who we are as it is a form of contraction.

  44. Being present and attentive within our body allows us to observe and to respond to life – it is far too easy to be swept along by any number of events in life and another’s rhythm when we are not at ease in or living our own true flow.

  45. As a child i would cover my head with the blanket in an attempt to shut out my fear of the dark. As an adult I have found other ways to avoid feeling things I don’t want to, but this shuts out everything and just leaves me walking around disconnected from everything. My best asset is to allow myself to feel everything, and the key I am learning is not to absorb, but observe from the standpoint of being connected to my body.

  46. Daydreaming was my escape plan as a child also Bianca. The anxiety that comes from escaping into the head I now liken to driving a car whilst sitting on it’s roof. Of course this is going to cause anxiety just as deserting our body does.

  47. There’s no other place to go but to the full awareness of what we feel. Otherwise, we may fall in the trick of freeing ourselves from the tension of feeling something uncomfortable or threatening, This freeing it’s nothing but a relief, a façade that masks the truth of that we are completely engulfed by what we were escaping in the first place.

  48. There was one bedroom that I had as a child where I too would look under the bed and in the cupboards before going to sleep. I knew there was a lot of unseen activity in that room and I experienced it several times but was able to satisfy myself that i would be all right because, for the most part, I was not seeing anything. This then puts a lot of emphasis on sight and can foster a mistrust in the innate knowingness that we are choosing to ignore.

  49. How many of us get into a situation where we are uncomfortable with a feeling in our body and so try to get rid of it, by checking out, comfort eating, putting our head in the sand, even creating a different problem so we don’t have to experience that one in full. I would say a round 100%. But imagine if we were taught at school that this is the single biggest marker or indicator of our health and wellbeing and so critical information to be used to help us chart a course through life.

  50. It took me many years to realise that I was living with a suit of armour to protect myself against what I perceived the world might throw at me next and I know without a doubt that the suit building began as a child; a child like you who was terrified of the dark. The fear was so great that I would hold my breath, with the breath holding staying with me right until recently. Now being able to stay with me, connected to my body and breath gently when any challenges arise means that I no longer need to protect myself but instead simply respond to what is being presented.

  51. It is interesting, I have found the more we seek to protect ourselves, the more we expose ourselves to hurt, shut people out and the more likely we are to have unloving thoughts and behaviours.

  52. Without a doubt there is so much to be aware of and feel in life, most of which we do not always want to feel because it hurts to see others around us acting in ways that are not only disrespectful at times but also purely lying and not just to others but to themselves. But indeed with feeling the rawness of all that is going on around, there is indeed an empowerment to knowing what is in fact occurring and what’s more there is great sense of feeling beyond all the yuck of human life that there is a beauty to everyone you meet just as there is a great beauty within yourself.

  53. We can either view our sensitive awareness and ability to observe in great depth as a negative burden, or our best asset. It’s all dependent on whether we want to turn a blind eye to the current state of society, or if we can feel the responsibility AND how we can bring light and a high quality to everything we observe in our environment.

  54. I am learning, coming back to the awareness (by my willing), that everyone feels everything.
    No matter if one says it or denies it. To feel and see beyond what we are facading, and to stay true with what we will without wanting a visual approvement. Gaining trust and confidence from our connection to the Universe, God -‘all we are,’love” and all that we come from – ancient knowingness.

  55. I know that I have had a strong knowing and reading abilities since I was very young and would often be told that I was being silly by what I shared and what I felt. It is from this time that I shut down this natural ability because I felt I was being naughty, but the truth I have now become to see is that we all have the ability to read and observe life and it is a true strength to be able to move from this knowing without judgement or fear and to see the world for what it is and know that we can continue to move from our bodies connection and feel what is going on around us but to not let it take over or hinder our natural way.

  56. You are so right Bianca that if we can let go and be aware of all that goes on around us this is our greatest assets and can be so much fun because you can never be fooled by what someone is saying because you read the energy they are expressing with.

  57. “A knowing that with this connection to my body I could handle anything that was to come my way”. It may sound boring to ‘be with your body’ but it gives you the most extraordinary sense of ease and steadiness that allows you to deal with whatever comes your way. I am also realising more and more that it is better to stay in my body where I can feel and discern want is going on around me than skip off into my head where I am less aware of what I am feeling but affected all the same.

    1. I have found the same Fiona, I also find that the more I stay present with my body and what is going on the moment I actually deal with what is before me and so the less I then carry around with me. I can then more clearly have the sense that that is done and completed so now what is next, rather than the incessant thoughts or I should have said this or that, or what if etc, etc..

  58. “accept what I was feeling in my body’ This is massive and key to truly living ourselves, life is so much more simple when we read what’s really going on and not make it personal.

  59. I can relate to a lot of what you have written about Bianca, jumping onto the bed so that whatever was lurking under the bed couldn’t grab my ankles, and then later living from my head, as if in a walking daydream. Sometimes we get so caught up in the make believe that the lines become fuzzy as to what is real and what is made up in the mind.

  60. It is so sinister that energies stop us from being fully in our body and feeling the loveliness that we truly are and clever in that by causing anxiousness can create us to go into our heads … therefore not fully being present and connected to our body. We are powerful when we are truly connected and living from the body and whole body intelligence. I too used to feel similar energies in the room when I was younger however over the years and with the help of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine I now feel so more connected and solid to my body and am starting to live the wisdom that is felt from my body (this is a continuous learning process) the more we are this the less outside energies have a so called hold over us. Awesome to hear how this has changed for you and you now have this knowing ‘I knew without a doubt this is the way we are meant to live: the wisdom of the body leading with the mind in full presence and focusing on every minute movement that is made.’

  61. I had a very similar experience as a child, spending hours in tension at bedtime, staring at the hallway or at the cupboard door. And when I fell asleep there were snakes, sharks and crocodiles everywhere so it wasn’t much better! Reading this blog I realised that this childhood experience of big and overwhelming anxiety and the energetic feeling not matching what was physically there (creating doubt), contributes to the suppression of our awareness being anxious. I find most people these days are anxious to varying degrees but very few are aware of it. Did we all disconnect from it when we were little, as we didn’t know how to cope? This lack of awareness or denial of the anxiety means that it is never addressed or healed. I have found the pattern of escaping into our heads is key, as it is not being present and aware in our bodies that creates anxiety.

  62. When I start to put pressure on myself for whatever reason I escape and I leave my body as everything else is in this moment or situation considered more important and the body is second. I am aware what I am choosing and how horrible my body feels afterwards. When I accept I am sensitive and that by my choice to escape I avoid to feel that I know how to be and what to do. Accepting my grandness, why not?

  63. I couldn’t agree more – feeling everything keeps us far more safe than protecting ourselves and numbing ourselves. It is how to handle all we feel without running for the hills that is the challenge and that takes an understanding of what we are feeling. Your blog and the honest conversations through so many of the Universal Medicine courses supports us to see how to make this practicle application in our lives.

  64. Night time was an ongoing horror story for me as a child… And that intense fear of the dark continued until a doorway within was opened up with the extraordinarily beautiful wisdom and guidance of Serge Benhayon, and when I walked through this doorway, the understanding of my true nature shone through all darkness

  65. Learning that our sensitivity and awareness is actually our greatest strength, as it exposes the absolute truth of all things, is a learning through confirmation that we can and need to offer our children and ourselves.

  66. Bianca, this is really helpful, ‘I also felt open to accepting all that was going on around me, no judgment, simply acceptance with a knowing that with this connection to my body I could handle anything that was to come my way.’ I have noticed that if I do not judge what is going on around me and do not react to it then I can stay with myself and feeling lovely and steady no matter what is going on, if I judge people and situations and react then I feel anxiousness and unease in my body.

  67. In not wanting to feel we actually make life harder for ourselves.. we start disconnecting from our bodies and escaping into our heads where it feels safer, but actually we’re less protected as we then can’t feel energy around us, and have lost our knowing of how to respond to it. When we allow ourselves to feel and accept everything that is there to feel, we are much better equipped to deal with anything.

  68. The escape plan of going into our mind or into the doing, whatever is ours, and in that to disconnect from that clairsentience which is naturally in us, makes us imprisoned in a three dimensional world while we belong to a multi dimensional world in which it is about energy first and not about its physical outplay which is secondly at best.

  69. ‘It was like I was a walking head completely disconnected from my body…’ I used to feel like that too – completely divorced from my body with my mind running the show. My body was just a mode of transport for my mind and was either a nuisance, or acceptable if some sort of physical indulgence was on the table. I too chose disconnection when the answer was always to re-establish the connection, and from there go deeper. It took years of practice – and only once I discovered Universal Medicine – to be able to reconnect and 10 years on, it’s an awareness I need to be on to every single day. There’s a lot in our world that’s designed to pull us away from ourselves.

  70. What a great understanding you share Bianca – that hypersensitivity can trigger the need to escape. You did it with your mind; others choose to act out or withdraw or bury themselves in books, and perhaps as adults choose escape via drugs, alcohol, food, sex, work and so on. Acknowledging the reality of entities with children – and how to deal with them – would go a long way to alleviating this particular path of anxiousness.

    1. Indeed Victoria, we have to learn our children that entities are real and not something we make up as what is told a lot and in doing that we will empower them to cherish this clairsentience and to make it part of heir lives instead of having to go into all kinds of behaviours to dull them away from that feeling that will always be there.

  71. Someone once said that when you do not feel like a son of God then you know something is not right. Often we settle for feeling ok but it’s great to know that underneath the façade of life there is another life happening that effects the life we experience as our everyday life. That is the unseen world that perhaps cannot be seen but it can sure be felt and I feel it’s important to recognise that. If not we will keep on searching for the answers in the seen world but we forget that things happen first in the unseen world, energetically.

  72. When we make life about energy first and foremost, there is nothing that cannot be felt in our bodies unless we choose to and then align to something that would only offer a temporary relief from the hurt of not being ourselves.

  73. Beautifully and simply said Elizabeth – when we feel what we feel there is no need to try and quell, distract or escape ourselves, which is a huge part of the ills in the world.

  74. Energy is a fact – we live in it, we are it and we express it. The more openly we talk about energy the less we will be frightened of what we feel around us and give our power away to that. It’s especially important to talk to children openly about energy so they feel their power in life and not feel small in comparison to what they feel around them.

  75. Wow, astonishing. We could easily observe and clock how we become protective around people who display anger, or have a jagged outer appearance but rarely do we clock when we become protective of unseen energies.The stories that we tell as children of seeing presences and feeling unsafe in the dark should be more ackowledged! for we would see how these unseen energies are effecting our lives.

  76. THank you for sharing Bianca.
    IT keeps me wake in the steps to take to deepen my awareness as there is till this part that likes to stay unaware, a part I dont want to deal with. I feel Will feel deeper into iT why I choose so. I know that Will help
    Me to make my next step.

  77. As children our sensitivity is often dismissed or even ridiculed, no wonder we shut down and don’t want to acknowledge it. When we realise it is safe to feel again and to express those feelings we are on the way back to reclaiming ourselves and our own power. All the while we might be tempted to react to the outside world but as we strengthen our connection to our bodies and the fire within we build a solidness and a confidence that cannot be shaken.

  78. I would not want to close my eyes and would choose to lie on my back so I could see every corner of my bedroom.’ I was exactly the same i would not want to turn on my side and have my back to part of the room as I felt very vulnerable. This shows just how sensitive we are of energy and are aware of our surroundings but yet we use so much to block this out or dull it down like tv and food etc. What if we allowed ourselves to be sensitive and aware all of the time without trying to turn this down?

  79. We believe we are protecting ourselves when we deny what we are feeling but in fact it is the complete opposite as it lays us wide open to energetic attack.

  80. Accepting and developing conscious awareness of the “unseen energetic outplay rippling underneath the physicality of life” is like putting the skin on the bones of life.

  81. Great wisdom this is to develop our connection to our body and to heed its call, impulse and revelation.

  82. Often we are not supported to connect to our feelings when we are young as a form of protection and then as adults we tend to fear what we can feel. This often opens us to use various things to numb what we feel and disconnect from our body.

    1. This is so true Chan and if we do not address those unresolved fears that we carry with clarity, acceptance and understanding they will continue to haunt us in our adulthood until we address them and let them go.

  83. I can so relate to being a “walking head completely disconnected from my body” for that is exactly how I lived; in fact most around me were living in the same way, separated from who they truly are as well. I can see that to be connected was way too painful and also, if I did know how my body was feeling I would have had to begin to make some changes in my life. I am delighted that I finally came to understand that living connected to my body is actually the way we are made to live and being disconnected will only end up with a body that is suffering greatly which is crazy because it is without doubt our best, wisest and most loyal friend.

  84. There is in fact no escaping energy even when we try to numb it, ignore it or pretend we do not feel it. Energy is who we are and what the world is made of, hence why evasion is impossible. Our connection to our bodies are our greatest tool through which, if we are willing, we can be guided to know the truth at all times. We all already respond to the truth in our bodies to some degree through putting warm clothes when we are cold, or sensing that something is not right with another, so the more we honor and build this relationship, the more we can read the quality of energy at play in any moment and know how to respond with truth accordingly. This is true power.

  85. In my experience too by staying connected with my body and what I’m feeling this gives me the opportunity to understand situations in a much clearer way and have access to the wisdom of the body in how to deal with or respond to life. And shutting down from what I’m feeling actually creates anxiousness in me because I’m disconnecting from something that I know is there but am trying to push away, and in that dis-connection am not really equipped to handle whatever is going on…

  86. It could very much be that the reason we have so much illness and disease is because we don’t really have an honest relationship with our bodies. If we are all disconnected with it then it’s hard to know what it’s telling us.

  87. It changes everything when we accept that we are creatures that feel everything, and that doing so allows us to understand life and not be so affected by it. We are always only limited by our own willingness to admit to the sensory grandness that we all actually have. Our sixth sense should never be confined to an idea in a movie.

  88. Your blog shows me that the moments of escape I seek actually result in me missing out on me, I will not be able to get those moments back but I can make choices now to ensure that I am truly present in my own life.

  89. This wonderfully confirming blog about the beauty of being fully present in our body is so supportive for me. Though I know it in times I feel anxious or stressed I go into flight mode and want to leave my body. Sometimes there can be no apparent reason for this – just general everyday stresses and a walk at lunchtime requires constant coming back to being present. What I’m realising is that when I do commit to being present and with myself, allowing myself to feel all that there is to feel no matter how uncomfortable, I’m also feeling a solidness within and this I am knowing I can return to no matter what happens in my day. The more I connect the more I know it is unwavering and I can trust. An inspiration to allow all that is there to be allowed and experienced – no shutting off compartments and living in fear of their contents.

  90. There are so many ways we protect ourselves, when we heal one protection, another one can present for us to then let go of as well. It is in having a willingness to feel those protections that can ultimately free us from them and trust that we can.

  91. I can completely relate to this Bianca. Having an escape plan and being constant alert. It’s very much a work in progress for me to change my default setting back to before it became my default. But with a willingness to let go and trust that I’m ok the layer of protection becomes thinner and thinner.

  92. I only just realised that what you described as a child was me all over. I had never clocked the level of sensitivity I had as a child. As I have connected back to my body more, I feel how my greatest protection is to be in connection.

  93. In connection with our bodies, we are offered access to an infinite communication with the stars confirming our true nature of what we can live when we commit to the in-between moments of our lives, as it through this consistency that we get to accept and embody the truth of who we are.

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