Some years ago, in the course of my work in Oncology, I went to see a young person who had just had major surgery around the abdominal area. For some reason the skin had not been closed over the site and a large bandage was in place.
“Would you like to see?” said the young person enthusiastically, gently lifting back the bandage for a brief few seconds.
An astounding sight met me, particularly the colours and the beautiful symmetry of the working organs. There was a creamy white, a dark, rosy but shocking pink, a lavender brown and a mild, milky grey, all nestled together like pebbles that had fallen next to each other on a beach. So still, yet with a purpose towards the larger body, sustaining it to move, to laugh, to live.
As I looked, TRUTH sent a direct ‘snapshot’ from their body to mine: I will try to paint in words what I felt, and saw, in my body:
“Beauty… The Universe… Truth… Working… Here I am… Powerful… Vulnerable… Strong… Delicate… This is you… A Life’s Purpose!”
No words, only a snapshot, felt and understood. A profound and direct reflection for me, of me, to assimilate into my consciousness, and a privilege to see and to know: we are One.
At that time I had a busy, pressured life, focussed on ‘keeping all the plates spinning.’ No time to fully appreciate what I had just seen and felt, and continued to feel – the truth in my body. My self-worth was low, exhaustion near, even though I loved my job. Occasionally the wonderment of that moment, the Universality of it, would come back to me, calling me to consider more…
As I approached sixty years of age I felt the winds of change, in particular, that the pension age was going to be changed. Charitable funding had run out for my job and circumstances were making it difficult for me to continue. I began to plan for retirement. I had a calling to work with animals and studied Animal Healing, which involved volunteering to work with a Charity in Sri Lanka. On that trip I met a fellow student at this course who had what I thought at the time were some odd ways: getting up at 3.00am, going to bed before 9.00pm, no partying and quite particular in what he would eat. He suggested that our current training was missing some valuable information on self-care and recommended I read a book titled The Way It Is by Serge Benhayon.
I returned home to my life, which even in retirement was again ‘busy’. When I read this book it was like pieces of a puzzle slotting into place, and I began to ponder… my new style of being. I knew then I had come back to my home, the Universe. I became a Student of The Livingness, where I have been given confirmation of my words that describe the snapshot, the reflection I received, of our beautiful bodies. These words I knew already, but I need to hear them in different contexts and expression until I ‘get it.’ I knew them already, but laziness and hiding was my way.
Gradually I came to know that reading books and watching videos was not going to get me in touch with the living truth I had felt in my body that day. This truth has to be lived every day, every moment. Through nurturing my body and caring for it with tenderness and love, my awareness is starting to grow. Why has it taken me so long to accept and appreciate this truth, and myself? There are many reasons and distractions in place for us to not look at ourselves in the mirror with love and tenderness – to not appreciate ourselves, to not be with ourselves. We are conditioned to ‘leave ourselves’ in childhood, taught that it is selfish and arrogant to think of our own well-being before we attend to the needs of other people, and this continues until we exhaust ourselves by looking for love outside of us.
My journey continues, and gradually – through appreciation, tender care and self-acceptance – I am beginning to feel the beauty and love in my own body, taking time, sitting with me, being me. I have returned to work as a carer and personal assistant to people who need help with their own self-care, and my strong foundation of love lived every day means I can express this in my work and daily life, and in doing so I find there is more to learn in supporting them and then the feeling comes: “I do that for them, do I not love myself enough to do it for myself?” The answer is “yes, of course I do!” Now the people I work with and those who I meet in my living each day can see that this love is there inside themselves too.
With thanks and deep appreciation to Serge Benhayon and his family, my wider family and all humanity who constantly challenge me to ‘come out here and Love Us!’ – to stop hiding and to fully live life’s purpose.
By C.M., Personal Assistant/Carer, Nottingham, England