What exactly do we mean when we say someone has low self-worth? Do we mean that they do not value themselves and their place in the world? That they place others as more important or worthy? And if we agree that this is so, does that imply that they do not feel they matter, or does it mean that there is something to fix, and once fixed, then the worth can kick in and the rewards that life can offer will be attained, or at least come within reach?
That has certainly been so in my case, and I can still have spells when all of a sudden my sense of worth plummets. I have a week when life is getting on top of me and I’m surrounded by reflections showing that I’m not up to scratch – the house has suddenly become messy, the sink clogged with unwashed dishes for a few days on end. Work feels tedious, people annoy me, or I feel like I’m not bringing as much value to my job as I could. I take less care with my grooming, I feel fat and like a frump, or I feel old and past it… the list can go on and on and the reasoning behind the self-critical talk can be ridiculous… just an excuse to bring myself down a peg, and then give-up and take solace in checking out by watching TV or overeating, or surfing the net and countless other distractions.
So where does this attitude of self-critique and sense of unworthiness come from? Are we born with it? Have we ever looked at a baby and thought, “My goodness, that child has self-worth issues!” I certainly have not. A baby lets us know exactly what they want in no uncertain terms, and doesn’t seem to ask “Am I worth it?” They innately know that it is not even a question that needs to be considered.
Can we therefore surmise that the sense of self-worth is with us at birth, and that lack of self-worth is learned? And that all learned behaviour serves a purpose, which we perceive makes it ‘easier’ to survive? As children we develop our awareness of the external world and learn what is acceptable to others and what is not. We learn the social norms and standards of our specific culture from the outside in and are rewarded for some achievements and behaviours and punished for others.
At the same time, the trust in our inner voice and promptings fades. Our self-worth becomes a measure of recognition from the external world. Most of us get caught up in this miasma to some degree. No parent is perfect and able to always understand what the child needs. Let’s be frank, as parents we muck up. We’re not always attentive and in-tune with ourselves, let alone with a child, and if there are siblings or a demanding partner involved, it can easily go off the rails at times.
As children grow and learn to negotiate life with others, we see different behaviours – no two children in the same family will respond in the same way to the same circumstances. One child may be naturally confident whilst their sibling nurses hurts (perceived or real) for a long time. They may try different ways of getting love and attention and feeling good about themselves in ways specific to them.
I remember at one time, when I was about nine or ten, deciding that I was going to change my attitude and become ‘acceptable.’ How I got to the point of feeling I was not good enough is another story, but suffice to say it was a combination of how I was in the family, the reactions and messages I received, and what I did with that information. At one time I chose to be super ‘good’ and ‘helpful’ because I’d taken on the beliefs that I was self-centred, unattractive, a bit nasty and in many ways, simply not good enough.
Growing up in the fifties I read a lot of books and watched movies where most of the heroines had virtuous qualities that I clearly lacked. So, looking for redemption, I attempted to re-shape myself in their image. I dutifully devoted myself to household tasks that I did not enjoy to get positive attention, and focussed on being helpful, a ‘good girl,’ loving sister, grateful, appreciative, uncomplaining etc.
It makes me cringe to write this down. Of course, it was a short-lived week or so of reshaping myself in that particular way. Although I was loving and caring by nature, I was trying to shape myself to an ideal, a goal external to me, to achieve a sense of inner settlement and worth in the eyes of others and, quite frankly, it was unsustainable and not coming from any inner feeling that flowed naturally. It was forced and against my rebellious grain.
But to be honest, the same pattern has played out in many different guises throughout my long life. As an adolescent trying to be attractive to boys in crazy stuff, like not farting in their presence, dieting to get as close as possible to the body image and shape presented at the time, being unobtrusive, interested, patient, undemanding… anything but real. Is it any wonder that being the real me felt like an unknown exotic foreign land, and life was extremely unsettling? I didn’t know what I needed to do to be acceptable, I just knew it had to be different.
The truth is that when I am feeling comfortable in my own skin, I do not question my value; I just get on with it. I look after myself. I make sure that I have enough sleep, that I have clean clothes that feel great to wear in my wardrobe, that my shoes are comfortable, that there is a selection of food in the pantry and fridge to sustain me, and I enjoy my work and my relationships with friends, colleagues, family and the general public. I do not hold back.
However, when faced with a challenge, the depth of self-worth is revealed. Do I back myself up or am I so timid that at the first hint of criticism I withdraw back into my shell? It takes courage to step out of comfort and risk expanding into a larger version of ourselves. Like a snake we must shed the skin that constricts and constrains our growth. Or a tadpole that must change form to evolve, or a caterpillar that builds a cocoon to midwife its emergence as the butterfly. We are constantly called to more.
There is also a deeper level of self-worth to be considered. We are not here to live mundane, safe, comfortable lives, but to constantly unfold into our ever-expanding potential. As humans we are not constrained by the limitations of species specific instincts, but hard-wired to attune ourselves to the innermost calling of our Soul that, in one form or another, forever beckons us to ask questions, to seek justice for all, equality, brotherhood.
The other night I stepped outside to drink in the beauty of the ‘heavenly firmament,’ the Milky Way constellation that we are blessed with in the Southern Hemisphere night sky. I felt held and inspired by the reflection of beauty, constancy, ancient timelessness, expansion and home that the night sky brings.
As I lay down to sleep, I literally had stars in my eyes and felt connected to the glory of the universe that we are all part of, because as science has presented, we are made of the same particles. We literally are all equal on the basic physical level. The stars just are and they shine because that is their nature; they do not hide one day because they do not feel good enough to shine. Sailors set course by the stars; ancient structures, such as the pyramids, measure the movements of the heavens, and the stars are a constant reminder that we are, in essence, forever part of the infinite, expanding and eternal grandness that is our universe. To be less because of so-called low self-worth issues is simply an excuse to not come out of hiding and comfort and shine forth.
We don’t describe people as having high self-worth, we see them as shining lights who are leading the way. People like Natalie Benhayon, whose love for humanity is so great that she simply and playfully shines a light on The Way, works tirelessly but joyfully to inspire all women and men to re-ignite their own fire, their true worth and to shine forth too.
By Anne Hart, BSocSc, Goonellabah
Related Reading:
I Am Amazing just for Being Me
Self-Esteem is No Longer an Issue – Appreciating, Celebrating and Loving My Body
A Sacred Relationship with Self – Inspired by Natalie Benhayon
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
Thanks Anne, it is a really solid sharing on self-worth, and that we don’t start out with low-worth, in fact we are completely OK with communicating moment to moment exactly what our needs are as babies. I find as a woman I can go into behaviour with others that is about doing for them, responding to their needs, but it’s an arrangement and false nurturing / mothering that doesn’t start with the state of my own being and it’s sacred quality, and what I need to do for myself as a first point, not as an afterthought. It’s been very ingrained in me that a woman’s role is supporting others, but what support truly is can be redefined by the quality of my own state of being and self-care, rather than the depletion of being everyone’s ATM of care.
Maybe we just have to shine and be our magnificent selves for all to see, ‘The stars just are and they shine because that is their nature; they do not hide one day because they do not feel good enough to shine.’
Inspiration can come in many ways, ‘The other night I stepped outside to drink in the beauty of the ‘heavenly firmament,’ the Milky Way constellation that we are blessed with in the Southern Hemisphere night sky. I felt held and inspired by the reflection of beauty’.
We may react or reject those who don’t hold back in shining their light. This happens constantly between men and women, in relationships, families, friends…it seems that we have lost our ability to reflect and support each other in being more of the love we really are. Instead of that we compete, fight, defend…losing the awesome opportunity to grow and evolve together.
I love having people like the Benhayon family and the entire student body of Universal Medicine in my life, each one of them are like the guiding light all Humanity needs. The reflection of the fullness that we all can live.
Anne I love the analogy of the cocoon and the butterfly you described. It’s very beautiful how Nature reflects to us that ‘we are constantly called to more’. The deepening of love never ends and we can hold oursevles from the fact that we are already everything and we are ever expanding, more and more…
I love the bit in this article about when we are at ease and settled ‘in our own skin’ everything is so simple and clear. Joyful and awesome too. And it is in this realisation that I see how I play the game of having low self-worth as an indulgence and excuse not to embrace the responsibility of being all of me, in full, always.
The idea of a star having self-worth issues shines a light on how ridiculous it is.
Yes. As does the idea of a baby having self-worth issues. A sobering exposure of what we have set up to teach and reflect as we get older.
I love this example Mary, and its shows how we play games and more at times.
“A baby lets us know exactly what they want in no uncertain terms,” and this happened the other night while baby sitting a 3 month old and its siblings some 10 years older were watching a Star Wars movie and the baby would not rest and continues to cry, which was not normal before or after this movie!!
Low self-worth is rife within most people in the world. And when you described that a baby has none of this feels so true, it is inherited or passed on, serving us to stay away from the beauty that is within. And when a person has self-worth and needs no validation from anyone outside, I often observe what gets thrown at them, jealousy and comparison, to destabilise them.
Another thing I loved is that we are forever expanding, so we are offered an opportunity to evolve, constantly.
I recall when I was a little girl and I could not sleep, I would look out at the dark skies, covered in thousands of sparkling stars, wondering what was going on out there and how I would loved to have been a part of them. And yet it is all there for us, if we feel or willing to receive it. It is innately within us all, its a matter of whether we look within or with outside of our self’s is the key question. It has to start somewhere, so why not within…
I feel self worth is a learned experience where as children we get to feel that somehow we do not matter.
There we are as children full of glory and the world reflects back an attitude of Nah! I’m not buying into your glory because I don’t have it, it got lost somewhere so you cannot have it either and so we get squashed like an Ant. This is huge because if we were to value our children and what they naturally bring direct from the universe then maybe there would be less self worth issues and more people living the glory they naturally are.
Mary I agree, we see children as being small people so they mustn’t know much. If we really observed, allowed and learnt from them, they’re much wiser then the bigger people running the world. There is much wisdom within all, we just need to meet them at that, it is that simple.
Why do people choose to embrace a lack of worth, ‘Can we therefore surmise that the sense of self-worth is with us at birth, and that lack of self-worth is learned? And that all learned behaviour serves a purpose, which we perceive makes it ‘easier’ to survive?’
Claim ourselves or be claimed, so is the energetic law.
Humans beings certainly appear to be the only species to have issues of self worth – I do not know of a bee that is buzzing around feeling worthless in its beehive, nor do I know of an ant that will stop doing what it is doing or allow self worth to affect it in its day to day…So why do we let it affect us so much? Perhaps it is the choice of not allowing ourselves to connect to the all that we are a part of?
Maybe the bees and ants have a purpose, a purpose greater than just for self, and so they get on with what is needed, for the benefit of all.
It’s a great point Anne that we have the term “low self worth” but not “high self worth”. As you have shared, we either are ourselves in full shining brightly with no holding back, or we separate from ourselves and low self worth moves in.
I was sitting with friend’s recently eating lunch in a small café and one of my friends had a baby and everyone had noticed the baby. One man said hello honey as he walked past and we all knew he wasn’t talking to any of us adults but to the baby who was very contented within herself and maybe that’s what we all gravitate to, the fact that a baby is very much self-contained as hasn’t as yet looked outside itself to be accepted and recognised by the world. We all seem to lose this self-containment as we grow from a baby to a child where self-contentment doesn’t seem to be accepted or cherished in the same way by society. Is it possible that at some point we get jealous of the self-satisfaction or contentment because we have lost it in ourselves?
Anne I sense this is what we have forgotten our relationship with the stars and the universe. The light pollution is so bad that for many of us the stars cannot be seen, we don’t look up to the stars any more but look down and so we have forgotten where we originate it’s as though we have become one dimensional.
It is a very liberating thing to feel your value and your worth from an inner connection rather than relying on the outside world to recognise or acknowledge you in some way.
Maybe our inner connection needs to be the leading impulse, ‘At the same time, the trust in our inner voice and promptings fades. Our self-worth becomes a measure of recognition from the external world.’
In reshaping our selves to earn recognition, approval and acceptance we disconnect and lose our true shape and nature.
“At one time I chose to be super ‘good’ and ‘helpful’ because I’d taken on the beliefs that I was self-centred, unattractive, a bit nasty and in many ways, simply not good enough.”
When you really allow yourself to feel this statement, and how many people could make their own version of this, it is quite heart breaking really. The energy that runs us that thinks we are not good enough, is pure evil.
Interesting how we try to be good or better because we allow the world to convince us that we are bad or broken or damaged in some way.
What a great conversation, I have been in many situations where I wasn’t able at the time to read what was really going on, so I took abuse or bad behaviour to mean there was something wrong with me or I needed to change. I love how the Ageless Wisdom shares that we are whole, complete and beautiful as we are, just as we see in babies who are connected to their essence. Learning to let go of those many harmful situations and messages meant to disrupt our connection to our essence is a huge healing process but very worth it.
When we could allow ourselves be our natural amazing magnificent selves, ‘ We are not here to live mundane, safe, comfortable lives, but to constantly unfold into our ever-expanding potential.’
Just what I needed to read thanks and I love the reminder or the stars and how they don’t have a day when the decide to not shine, as if! It is awesome to experience and be around people who do not hold back and shine the light that we are, in every way all of the time and Natalie Benhayon is a solid rock in expressing this. I can see how possible it is and I am inspired and committed to shine as bright as I am meant to with not an ounce of reductionism.
Having low self-worth is far from something to fix. In fact, the chase and striving to fix it will only dig a deeper hole. Worth is something we were born with, we knew we were adorable just breathing, eating and sleeping. So, it’s a matter of accepting and reclaiming that worth that never goes away.
If we could measure the self-worth of a baby it probably would be off the Richter scale.
It is we who create self-worth issues, which are the perfect excuse for not getting on with life and bringing what we are here for. It complicates what can be simple. There may be many so called justified reasons for adopting this way of behaviour though none of them are true when seen from our essential being.
I was intrigued by the title of your article Anne, ‘Self worth, the Stars and the Universe’, and how you present it is anything but natural for us to undermine or believe we are in any way not worthy. Every star in the universe has its constellated place and so do each one of us with our specific reflection. Yes to this, ‘We are not here to live mundane, safe, comfortable lives, but to constantly unfold into our ever-expanding potential.’
‘However, when faced with a challenge, the depth of self-worth is revealed’. Yes, challenges that come on our path are great reflections of our self-worth and if we are standing on a solid foundation or not.
Anne I have been in the company of a small child recently and it is fascinating that from the get go we bombard our children with our own ideas, ideals and our own beliefs of how we want things to be. The children then become mini mum and dads as we reward and punish for behaviours we like or dislike. It is actually quite shocking the damage we can do to a child because all they know when they are young is their immediate family and if there is any jealousy, comparison or competition between the parents over the child / children then in my humble opinion it is a recipe for disaster for the whole family.
‘The truth is that when I am feeling comfortable in my own skin, I do not question my value; I just get on with it.’ A concious choice we can make to shine our light just like the stars.
The stars shine because it is their nature, and so do we, when we are we truly are.
‘As I lay down to sleep, I literally had stars in my eyes and felt connected to the glory of the universe that we are all part of’ This is such a beautiful way of embracing yourself Anne. How amazing this society would be if we all would walk in life knowing that we are more than just humans, coming from the stars to shine unreservedly.
We create millions of complications and excuses to not shine whereas our true beauty remains pure inside us from our day birth. It simply just not make sense.
A great point – the attitude of self-critique and sense of unworthiness is not what we are born with, but is a learnt behaviour that ‘serves a purpose, which we perceive makes it ‘easier’ to survive.’ And I like what you say about how we don’t describe people as ‘having a high self-worth’ – which for them is simply just being and sharing who they are unreservedly.
It is an amazing thing, to look up at the stars and feel inspired, held and loved. To not look and see only an earth based scientific view, but a loving beholding quality that emanates in eternity. And this is so awesome because whilst science is needed, it does not hold the love that the stars do, and isn’t this what at the end of the day every one is looking and searching for? To be loved? Perhaps that is why the stars are seen most clearly at night, because this is at the end of the day, an eternal reflection showing us where the end of the journey will take us back to – at home with the stars.
This is most beautifully expressed Shami.
When we are young we feel on top of the world and slowly we learn that certain behaviours get us rewards, and we start to measure ourselves against those rewards, and set ourselves up to constantly be in motion seeking the next, and as we grow up the rewards are less frequent and we start to question ourselves falling into lack of self-worth, until such time we realise that self-worth comes from within and is nothing to do with anything outside of us.
Lack of self-worth is a game that the spirit knows how to play to give us the perfect excuse not to claim who we are. It is a totally self-created reality.
Compared to the stars, our hang ups are indeed ridiculous, ludicrous and silly – as you write, they don’t one day not come out because they have self-worth issues, they just shine.
In a conversation with a friend, she feedback how I was full of excuses which were holding me back and at the same time causing some struggle because I was being called to be more…. and it was true. I accepted this and have since been making adjustments. It is truth that exposes the excuses.
Love what you are saying here that self-worth is our birth right and natural way and anything less than that is simply a learnt way of denying our beauty.
When we are connected to our essence self worth issues simply cease to exist.
How important is it then to stay connected to our inner-most, our essence.
I have come to appreciate that taking care of myself is not selfish or an indulgence but a part of my day that is needed to reflect to others their worth. As women we have put the needs of others before ourselves, caring for our partners, our children and forgetting the value in deeply loving and nurturing ourselves.
We all equally have the potential to shine but low self-worth immediately dims that light.
I am learning that my worth is everything. How I feel about myself, the worthiness that I feel and live by need to be constantly chosen. The split second that I think, for whatever reason, I am not worthy is opening a massive door way for more of this erroneous energy to fill my body and before I can blink I have slumped, and move as though I am not worthy. There really is the chicken and the egg story happening here. But ultimately what comes first doesn’t matter. What does is our choice to again return our awareness to our worth. As this holds us firm as we walk through our life.
All we have to do is to change our movements and live consistently with the light of the stars, reflecting the light we are and we can walk with through our life.
Leading the way is the way back to where we are from, the way where we were once united and full.
There is just so much to savour here, understanding that there is an innateness in us that is just there ready to shine and all those learned behaviours we adopt never dim what is in us – it’s just for us to learn to allow that brightness out.
We are being constantly called to more so it is inevitable that we are going to experience moments where our self-worth may plummet even a little as we step into the more. The question is ‘how do we respond to the offering of more?’ Do we sink or do we rise to the challenge?
I was talking this through yesterday with someone… why is that I have to constantly working, proving myself, feeling like I have to earn the right for a place here on this planet? Its that lack of self worth, rather than just being confident and content with my place and then taking the opportunity to express everything that I have got to give.
Shared by a wise man- The moment we stop living the truth that we are from the stars that is our multidimensionality, we dis-honour who we are. In this dis-honouring we separate from God and in floods the lack of self worth. If we walked our multi-dimensionality we would have no issues with our self worth.
Anne thank you, I have really enjoyed reading this again, and it’s so true, we are not born with low self worth, it’s not a part of our innate essence at all, rather something we take on and believe to be true.
It is such a beautiful thing to do, to simply look up at night, and to feel the expansion and beauty that is there for us.
Self worth issues are things we take on, not things we are born with and they are very much about self – not about others. They do not expand us – they keep us small which is the game of playing less. This blog does a brilliant job at exposing this and asking me to consider why we let self worth issues be a cloud in our lives.
‘Can we therefore surmise that the sense of self-worth is with us at birth, and that lack of self-worth is learned?’ Good question Anne! Yes I feel that lack of self worth has been learned or imposed upon us and we have bought into it – it is certainly not a natural way to be. And this lack of self-worth forms a great identification for the human spirit so that it can stay indicated through identification.
‘To be less because of so-called low self-worth issues is simply an excuse to not come out of hiding and comfort and shine forth.’ There is no self worth to build, there is no getting ready to be enough and to shine, there is nothing to improve or be better at. The analogy of the baby shows us that we don’t have self worth issues – does a baby ever ask him/herself if they are worth it?
It’s a new way to look at low self worth, that to rid oneself of its energy is in reconnecting to the essence of who we are where it simply does not exist.
I’d never thought of it like that – you don’t ever hear anyone say that someone has ‘high self-worth’ – we either judge them as being what we perceive as being arrogant (usually out of comparison with our own lack of self worth), or appreciate them for being a shining leading point of inspiration. As our self-worth improves, so too does the opportunity and choice for others to be inspired become more apparent, and vice-versa. We are here to inspire one another.
And being told that you are ‘full of yourself’ is never a compliment! (Usually because its inspired by arrogance, but the point is… that is the whole point).
‘The stars just are and they shine because’ they stay shining, and the only time they are not visible to us is not because they are not shining but because the clouds intervene and cover them up, just as the clouds of lack of self worth hide the spark of the divine within each one of us.
Well said Lyndy Summerhaze. That spark within is forever there. It’s just that we forget sometimes and let what is out there have more precedence. We can reconnect, lovingly so, at any time.
Beautiful Elaine. Yes it is Arjuna’s ‘battle’ of Kurukshetra. Let us shoot down all the false images that populate our Field and bring on the Love that we are.
Beautiful and true Lyndy…love sees through the clouds.
“Can we therefore surmise that the sense of self-worth is with us at birth, and that lack of self-worth is learned.”
I would also add self-worth is not alone learned, but lack of self-worth is perpetuated in schools by adults to the kids. I am assuming just about every child has a story about been made to feel less in school.
Insisting on living off the fuel of low self-worth is a dishonouring of God and our own true nature.
‘As humans we are not constrained by the limitations of species specific instincts, but hard-wired to attune ourselves to the innermost calling of our Soul’. This is so important to remember, our SOUL is waiting for us all with open arms.
If we achieve all that we do with self-worth issues, imagine what we would achieve without them?
True self-worth is not thinking well of, or backing ourselves but consistently holding our essence as, as grand as the stars. The part where I personally start to loose it, is when I buy into jobs descriptions and roles. Never loose track of the fact that you are divine and not from this world. Let this be your starting point and all else will unfold.
‘Never loose track of the fact that you are divine and not from this world. Let this be your starting point and all else will unfold.’ A brilliant reminder this morning not to play it small but to allow the grandness to naturally shine through in all we lovingly do.
“We don’t describe people as having high self-worth, we see them as shining lights who are leading the way.” So true Anne and shows that in the night sky we see each individual star shine just as bright as the next. Some may appear closer or further away but no matter they still shine equally so. If we looked to the stars for inspiration we would see just how amazing it is to value and hold ourselves as worthy lights and all we need to do is simply be exactly as we are the day we were born.
You are so right Anne, ‘To value oneself’ in such a society of ours, is to hold a strong light that calls to others to remember our divine origin. The human spirit has simply trashed the body, and bought into games of putting oneself down or not caring about the consequence of any indulgent act it can conjure up. Valuing oneself really turns the tide on this so that we can look up once again and truly see the stars.
“We don’t describe people as having high self-worth, we see them as shining lights who are leading the way.” Yes, so true, it shows that we have a tendency to distort everything from what it truly is, particularly ourselves, instead of staying in the light the we are we create issues and dramas that keep us busy forever but hinder us to see the grandness we are and from.
We learn to take ourselves down a peg, it’s not natural to us to do so. And yet most don’t bat an eyelid when being critical of themselves, myself included at times still. It makes me question-what am I truly getting when I take myself down? How does it feel?
Thank you Anne for your honesty, humanity needs more of these blogs to bring some transparent discussion to a topic that many if not most have difficulty with. Self-worth is everything as it forms our true foundation yet so many of us struggle to build it without relying on external factors like looks, wealth etc.
So true that self-worth is a learned behaviour. I watch my toddler not hold back with any reservations – she just goes with her body. Simple as. But as soon as we start to let thoughts come in, to compare to what is outside of us, and to shy away from the responsibility we have to reflect all of who we are – self-worth has a home.
That is a beautiful comment HM, you have described the differences so clearly between the way your toddler is, and the way the mind works to think us away from the natural beauty within.
There has to be a lack of acceptance in ourselves to have self worth issues. When I do not accept myself where I am at but have an expectation that I do not carry out I find myself attacking self. My self worth plummets. I start to compare myself with others and feel disappointed instead of appreciating what is on offer. I may find myself in a situation that I have chosen to avoid because of the responsibility that came with it, I may allow myself to feel more deeply the truth of what is going on and begin to have understanding which I did not have before, I may sense the energy of a group that may feel very uncomfortable which I had ignored and overrided in the past… there is much I am learning in my unfolding and putting myself in situations which I have avoided in my past because of a greater responsibility that is being called for is not an excuse to give myself a hard time and create a lack of self worth. It is simply showing me a call for a greater love towards myself in my every day livingness.
It’s a great point Caroline, that if we are in low self worth we have chosen to leave ourselves.
I fully agree with you Anne – Natalie is like a big shining star lighting the way for all to return to their true power and shine forth equally so.
“People like Natalie Benhayon, whose love for humanity is so great that she simply and playfully shines a light on The Way, works tirelessly but joyfully to inspire all women and men to re-ignite their own fire, their true worth and to shine forth too”.
I can see how often I have used my claimed ‘lack of self-worth issue’ as an excuse to not really show the world the real me and have held back my natural light-hearted playfulness whenever I came across people who intimidated me. More and more, though, I have felt an inner strength that has at its foundation a stronger connection with my inner self that really helps me hold myself in any difficult situation, as it is so exhausting to play games of being small and identifying with low self-worth and constantly beating myself up over mistakes or other things, instead of learning and moving on.
This is a fantastic sharing Anne, you most certainly have great wisdom to impart. Many will continue to be inspired by your example every time we re read your words and see that it is absolutely possible to have real value in this world all we need to do is allow ourselves to see it!
The way you express is deeply beautiful Anne. This blog stirs up something inside of me and shows me that is absolutely possible to accept myself exactly as I am while I evolve and grow. This is what we are made of and made for.
As a child and in growing up I remember how I could have what I wanted if I fulfilled certain criteria laid down by parents or teachers or schoolmates. If I did what was expected of me by them then I would gain ‘the rewards that life can offer’ from material things to opportunities, to attention, care and love. When this did not happen I felt let down, betrayed. Later this was further confirmed in relationships with boys and then men. They were not playing by the rules they had set down. There was one rule for one and a different for another. No wonder we get confused and our sense of values begins to wobble and gradually gets eroded. As women we tend to put up with a lot and even get rewarded for keeping this false way of living going. It may be a long road to reconnect with that awesome being that we left way back when but boy is it worth it, reclaiming our connection to the magnificence of the universe and the magnificence that is also us.
It may be surprising that a Divine being can have self-worth issues but clearly it is quite possible.
Ha ha, yes and it is very beautiful to watch and connect with them, ‘The stars just are and they shine because that is their nature; they do not hide one day because they do not feel good enough to shine.’
Self worth – we know it as children and then we let it go to gain recognition from others. If we can let it go then we can invite it back by learning to simply be ourselves, no matter what.
“The truth is that when I am feeling comfortable in my own skin, I do not question my value; I just get on with it.” Very true – when we feel full or ourselves we look after, care and love ourselves. Looking to others to gain acceptance is a hiding to nothing. I know I’ve been there. As Shakespeare says in Hamlet “to thine own self be true.”
When our self-worth is based on recognition from others and the applause of the world, we are on shaky grounds and nothing that comes towards us in the form of fame, fortune and accolades is ever enough. The inner emptiness remains.
So key what you share Gabriele, when we leave ourselves there is empty void that has an insatiable appetite that in truth can never be filled from anything outside of us. Returning home is a joyful reunion.