There is a breed of people swimming in the ocean of life called the ‘Gotto fish,’ though it is best pronounced “Got to.”
There is always something for them to do; there is always somewhere they need to be.
“I’ve just ‘gotto’ do something for work” one would say before running off from his wife and children.
“I’ve just ‘gotto’ get this done around the house,” another would say before they might actually stop for long enough to deeply connect with others or themselves.
They can relax by switching off when they “Just gotto watch TV, just gotto catch up with a friend.” They can recharge when they “Just gotto grab a cup of coffee, just gotto grab a snack” and when they are really, really tired, they rely heavily on “Just gotto get this finished.”
They would say they move through life easily enough, but in reality there is little real ease in their movement. Each time their body comes to a rest, something kicks in that either requires a complete switch off or the next ‘gotto’ task to be completed.
The ‘gotto fish’ are driven by anxiety and nervous energy: a type of fuel that prizes movement over presence and switching off over connection. Even though they can get amazing amounts of work done, the reality is that living this way is draining.
Yet most are raised by other ‘gotto fish,’ so living in this way is so familiar and common that they never really see that anything is wrong.
For one ‘gotto fish’ life was becoming too hard to keep living in this way. He had become tired to a point where no amount of sweets, caffeine or alcohol could boost him for long enough. His health suffered, even though he had studied all manner of complementary and energetic therapies. His relationships suffered because there was no way of having a conversation that didn’t start from this point of anxiety.
He was committed to getting it right but couldn’t keep swimming through life this way. The hard part was finding another way to move through life, which was a quest he had been on for a number of years, but to little effect. On one level the ‘gotto fish’ became quite depressed.
“Surely there is another way to be?” he asked from a place deep within.
The interesting thing about life is that when you ask a question from this deeper place, life has a way of responding. Not everyone asks the question in this way and not everyone acts on the answers they get, but thankfully this ‘gotto’ fish was open when the answer came.
He came across the ‘Universal Fish,’ a wise fish who has swum the waters of life for many, many years. There was nothing the Universal Fish had not seen, done or tried, yet there was a twinkle in his eye and an ease to how he moved.
The Universal Fish suggested to him that his anxiety and drive to always be on the move was not where the issue started – that we only become anxious or use nervous energy as a form of fuel when we lack one thing… connection to ourselves.
The Universal Fish explained to him that connection was first and foremost an energetic connection. Anxiety in fact was simply our body’s way of letting us know that we are not connected. “It’s a bit like a car driving on the edge of the road – it will feel bumpy, because we are not meant to be driving there, but if you have never learnt to drive in the middle of the lane, it will feel normal,” the Universal Fish said one day.
The Universal Fish encouraged him to explore not only energetic connection but the different qualities of energy that we might connect to. “Anxiety comes from one form of energetic connection,” the Universal Fish offered.
The Universal Fish introduced him to the Gentle Breath MeditationTM, explaining that it was a way of establishing a connection not just to energy but to a deeper part of ourselves. It was a way to find a place within that was deeper than the anxiety and nervousness.
The ‘gotto’ fish didn’t instantly like this kind of meditation: he would wriggle, itch, twitch and move as he tried to practise the technique. Not only that, when he did become more still he would begin to feel things within that were both beautiful and unsettling.
Then over time, he began to feel gentleness and for the first time in a long time he felt connected to himself – his true self. He learnt that the issues he had been running from for much of his life were driving his anxiousness, and that understanding and working on this gave his body a feeling of more space. The ‘gotto’ fish got help and worked with people that swam through life with that same gentleness he was connecting to.
The Gentle Breath MeditationTM was not a way of escaping life but building enough honesty and room in his body for the gentleness to grow. Over time he found that his body was capable of swimming with enough gentleness that he began to move through the waters of life with stillness. He had a smile on his face, enjoying the feeling of moving in stillness.
Nowadays, the only thing he ‘gotto’ to do is stay connected to himself. He’s not mastered it yet, but when he stays connected to this, the rest of life takes care of itself and anxiousness is no longer what drives him.
By Joel Levin
Related Reading:
Beating Anxiety Gentle Breath Meditation®
What’s Happened to the Joy of Life?
Anxious Much?
“The ‘gotto fish’ are driven by anxiety and nervous energy: a type of fuel that prizes movement over presence and switching off over connection. Even though they can get amazing amounts of work done, the reality is that living this way is draining.”
Surely what you have written here Joel is how most of us experience life which is why we rely on caffeine, sugars and carbohydrates to get us through the day. I was listening to a conversation the sales team where having while we were waiting for the meeting to start, they were admitting that they needed their Coffee in the morning to kick start the day until about lunch time and then they switch to Tea knowing that both are caffeinated drinks which stimulate their bodies and they know they cannot cope if they don’t have the caffeine even though it gives them headaches if they have too much. They know they are addicted to Caffeine but the effort of coming off Caffeine is too hard for them and not worth the effort. Which leads me to question why do we knowingly dull ourselves down when we could be so full of life and vitality?
I so love the way Joel writes and gets across a teaching in such an easy and fun way, ‘He came across the ‘Universal Fish,’ a wise fish who has swum the waters of life for many, many years. There was nothing the Universal Fish had not seen, done or tried, yet there was a twinkle in his eye and an ease to how he moved.’
Opens the flood-gates to our essences so we feel the innate nature of being connected takes away the trapping of having a gotta attitude and thus we evolve our way out of the depths of the ocean.
The Gentle Breath Meditation reconnects us to the stillness deep within, while the waves of motion swirl around outside of us.
“Nowadays, the only thing he ‘gotto’ to do is stay connected to himself.” Life becomes a model of simplicity when we make it about our connection to soul first and the energetic quality we bring to the world. Everything still gets done, but the priority is presence with ourselves and the love we are. Once we take care of ourselves in that way it’s easier to take care of everything in life. If we prioritise what’s outside of ourselves over ourselves it can be a very stressful, draining and anxious way to live.
Yes definitely a very exhausting and draining way of living, ‘The ‘gotto fish’ are driven by anxiety and nervous energy: a type of fuel that prizes movement over presence and switching off over connection. Even though they can get amazing amounts of work done, the reality is that living this way is draining.’ Could this be what is behind all the exhaustion in the world?
Melinda I’m just getting to feel just how much resistance we come up against when we take the steps to take care of ourselves first. I can feel the spirit arching up in the resistance which is huge. In the past I would have fought back now I know that is one of the tricks the spirit plays all day long getting the fightback. I have at last come to the understanding that the greatest gift I can give to myself is the gift of surrender. I’m still learning how to do this practically. However the surrender does lead to a settlement and the more I settle the more I want to settle and this has made huge changes in my life because I’m not in so much of a fight, we cannot fight our spirit that purposely keeps us engaged in the fight so that we do not under any circumstance reconnect back to the soul.
Can a Gotto Fish change? The answer is … yes they can 🙃 I once was a Gotto Fish. I got to do this, I got to do that etc etc, even at the time of being a Gotto Fish I knew that how I was living did not feel good. I am no longer a Gotto Fish but a Whats Next Fish 😂 the difference is I am living from my body more than from my head ❤️ Never about perfection but proves we can change our ways to ones that our more loving and supportive for both ourselves and others ✨
From Self-Fish to Soul-Fish! 🙂
Beautiful to hear that you have changed from a ‘gotto fish’, to a ‘what’s next fish’ and living from the connection with your body..
This is a huge problem
“Yet most are raised by other ‘gotto fish,’ so living in this way is so familiar and common that they never really see that anything is wrong.”
So much so that when someone suggests that there is another way to live in harmony with one’s own body and thereby with everyone else, the other ‘gotto fish’ become very unsettled because they have become so familiar with their life so anything that is considered out of the ordinary is a threat to their ‘gotto’ way of life and must be shouted down.
I love here Joel your description of anxiety as a message or a signal of disconnection rather than something to be feared or suppressed. It is actually a great messenger.
Connection to ourselves is paramount, ‘The Universal Fish suggested to him that his anxiety and drive to always be on the move was not where the issue started – that we only become anxious or use nervous energy as a form of fuel when we lack one thing… connection to ourselves.’
Connect to ourselves and life sorts itself out. A simplicity I am learning to embrace.
We are not meant to ‘go it alone’. Getting help and saying yes to the support that is on offer is what we are to master. Resisting any support means that it suits to keep the momentums of anxiousness or any other emotion running within the body.
Coming to understand that “dis-connection equals anxiety” has made so much sense of the big part of my life where I lived in anxiousness and continuous exhaustion. This understanding has certainly shown me so clearly that I was actually living totally dis-connected from me, from my body. No wonder I was so exhausted as it’s very hard work to live in a body you have no connection to.
It is so timely returning to this wonderful blog today as I have fallen into my “got to” ways of old in the last couple of weeks. I am actually shocked at the reminder of how draining living like this is, and that this is how I lived for many, many years; in a continual state of exhaustion. But I have brought a very special ‘got to’ back into my life in the last few days, and that is the Gentle Breath Meditation, a beautifully simple meditation which offers me the space to reconnect to me, and when I do there is definitely no room left for all the other ‘go tos’ to wriggle their destructive ways back into my life.
The Gentle Breath Meditation is an amazing tool to help us reconnect with ourselves, ‘The Universal Fish introduced him to the Gentle Breath MeditationTM, explaining that it was a way of establishing a connection not just to energy but to a deeper part of ourselves.’
We could say Ingrid that our “go to” ways of getting by in life are an addiction so that if we do not clear from our bodies why we need the addiction in the first place we will keep going back to it. By picking apart our addictions we can actually cease the anxiety and nervous energy we put ourselves into.
Meeting the ‘Universal Fish’ opened the door for me to meet myself and I have been amazed at who I have found.
Yep the Universal Fish totally rock ✨💫
What to do and who am I, when I have no “gotto” to go to. To honesty reflect on this, leads me to see how easily I can get caught up in the “gotto” way of life. Which is great, as this lead me to go deeper within to feel my own connection to self and then begin again in a gentler new way of being.
Mary I agree with you that we can so easily get caught up in the ” gotto” way of life. When I get that itchy or unsettled feeling then I know I have to stop and feel what’s really going on in my body, where is that unsettlement coming from? I feel I’m fighting my own surrender to go deeper in my connection to myself as the question pops into my head what will happen if I really let go? I know there is a part of me that fights the surrender and is always looking to live in the unsettlement of the “gotto’ way of life.
Yes, the “gotto” way of life is like the itch that can’t be scratched. I like what you have shared here Mary by linking unsettlement to the doing, it brings it to a deeper understanding of what’s behind the incessant doing and a way to feel what it may in part be signaling.
Awesome blog. I actually remember the moment I cried in despair that there had to be more to life than this and yes, the universe does listen. It took two years from that point but things started to slot into place and I found Universal Medicine. During that whole time, I had no doubt that I was waiting for something or someone and that I would meet someone who would change my life forever.
I remember coming to a point of despair because I had searched through spirituality, religion, the New Age, and various other things for the truth, I knew something was missing, there had to be more to life, but after many years searching I had not found it. Realising this I actually called out from a place deep within me for the truth and after that I came to Universal Medicine and reconnected to my Soul. And, how beautiful the truth is and my life now.
From childhood like you Melinda I knew something was missing, that there had to be more to life than just existing. It wasn’t until I was 50 years old that I met Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine that I found the answers to life. We are brought up to seek outside of ourselves for answers in Religion, spiritual new age, Education, counselling etc., when actually everything that we have ever needed is within us quietly waiting to be given an opportunity to communicate the truth of who we really are. There is such an abiding love to be reconnected with that at first it may feel that it cannot be so easy and be true but if we just trust and allow, the Kingdom of God is revealed in all it’s glory and then we have at last returned.
That’s interesting because when we don’t go into that frantic energy we can feel that Christmas time around December can be very connecting time of the year and has a feeling of stillness we can connect to.
I love feeling and living in stillness, ‘Over time he found that his body was capable of swimming with enough gentleness that he began to move through the waters of life with stillness. He had a smile on his face, enjoying the feeling of moving in stillness.’
‘.. we only become anxious or use nervous energy as a form of fuel when we lack one thing… connection to ourselves.’ This is brilliant, I will share this with someone I know who feels anxious when he is at school. It also, makes sense for me when I go into nervous energy to get things done.
Bringing back connection to ourselves, connection to our body is essential in life, ‘Anxiety in fact was simply our body’s way of letting us know that we are not connected.’
The fuel we use has to come from the connection to ourselves otherwise we are played with and life gets us with ‘ I got to do whatever there is to start or finish, or something in between. Being in stillness is the only way to feel the space and live accordingly.
What I’m finding so interesting is that when I get caught in that mode of thinking that I have so much to do, and delay doing it, that when I eventually get around to doing whatever it is because I have limited time to do it, it gets done amazingly quickly. So just getting on with things and doing them, rather than wasting time thinking about how much I have to do makes so much sense.
True Sandra, all that thinking is very time consuming and brings us nothing except getting anxious (and tired) and when we do do what needs to be done it is always less hard than we thought it would be.
Sandra it’s really interesting that these last few weeks somehow life has got super busy, so then I get up earlier so that I can do all the things that need to be done with so much more space, so there is no need to go into the I have just ‘Gotto’ do anything. Getting up early is the antidote.
I really didn’t realise how much anxiety, tension and nervous energy I was living with until I had a session with a Universal Medicine practitioner and got to feel the difference between the intensity of the anxiety and stillness. It was such an amazing experience, I will never forget it.
To return to being content with one’s own breath like a baby is most beautiful to feel, and to live in that way serves us all unimaginably.
The impact of how we are with our breath is truly underestimated by everyone including the healthcare nowadays.
This is so true ‘The interesting thing about life is that when you ask a question from this deeper place, life has a way of responding’ … we just need to ask … from within. A great reminder.
It is gorgeous to feel when stillness is present in the body over anxiousness. I know both quite well and am lessening my ‘gotto fish’ mentality to feel more stillness in my life.
And the great thing is Sarah, when you are in connection to stillness you will naturally inspire others who are in the anxious energy to align to stillness. This is pretty powerful considering how much we affect each other on an energetic level.
Beautiful reminder when you stay connected to your self, everything else gets taken care off.
Life is more simple when we are connected to ourselves, ‘Nowadays, the only thing he ‘gotto’ to do is stay connected to himself. He’s not mastered it yet, but when he stays connected to this, the rest of life takes care of itself and anxiousness is no longer what drives him.’ A beautiful sharing.
Imagine everyone would before they went into anxiousness stop and connect with their body. What if that would be taught in school?! An epidemic disease could be stopped through teaching that simple and easy fact.
Absolutely right, you simply have to ask from deep within and the answers are given. No search for the outside will ever equal the immediacy of one’s own truth that communicates to you, the moment you stop and trust it.
“Anxiety in fact was simply our body’s way of letting us know that we are not connected.” It’s so important when we begin to realise that everything our body communicates has a purpose.
I can be such a “Gotto” fish, the thrill from ticking things off my to do list, getting things done and the adrenaline rush of completing things in a short burst of time is quite something. But I often question myself and think, so what if i’ve done this quickly if it is not done of quality? I may as well have not done it because we don’t change the world by getting things done, we change the world by getting things done in quality.
Should be more like “I’ve just ‘gotto’ eat this food or move this particular way” so as to not have to feel and be my natural delicate self?!
“We only become anxious or use nervous energy as a form of fuel when we lack one thing… connection to ourselves” – this is a brilliant way to put it, and makes so much sense of why we keep going and think we have to do even more to counter this anxiety – that itself is the fuel that drives us, and unless we come to a stop and change the fuel, it keeps going.
Endlessly chasing our tails we stay blind to the fact that we are chasing our tails and do not evolve from being a ‘Gotto’ fish. One moment of openness and honesty can re-awaken our awareness and then we start to have some real choices.
I used to be the Queen of to do lists to keep me busy in my day in order not to feel the underlying tension what I really needed to be ‘doing’ – I would make a list and start with the lowest priority ones as I knew that then I would have to get everything done on the list as the priority ones could not be left out at all. As a result I went to bed having accomplished everything on the list but done with a frantic energy that led me to feeling falling asleep completely exhausted. These days I still have much to do in a day and though of course I can still be pulled into the same of frantic way of doing things, I am learning fast to pace myself and to do it in a way that is far more supportive and less in a drive of the body.
That constant drive to be busy and keep doing things is a sure fire way to distract oneself from how one is feeling, what one is feeling and what is truly being communicated by the body. It is not to say one should sit around and not move all the time, but that when we move in a quality that is not rushed and busy then we can do things in a manner and with a quality that allows us to be open and tuned into what is needed by our own body as well as by our surrounds.
“It’s a bit like a car driving on the edge of the road – it will feel bumpy, because we are not meant to be driving there, but if you have never learnt to drive in the middle of the lane, it will feel normal,” Great example of how so much has become our normal when in fact it is a way of life that is in dis-ease, struggle, complication… that actually does not need to be there at all when we live in a different way.
Love the example too. We seem to be living in a society where living on the edge has become normal and accepted. We just don’t seem to know better. If just one car drives on the middle of the road, it gives a reflection to all with ‘there is another way, e.g. the middle way’. Just like I was inspired by a consistent ‘middle roaddriver’, I realize I can be that example for others by being connected to my body consistently – without perfection.
‘Nowadays, the only thing he ‘gotto’ to do is stay connected to himself. He’s not mastered it yet, but when he stays connected to this, the rest of life takes care of itself and anxiousness is no longer what drives him.’ Love this Joel .. and so true. When we don’t have that connection ,something else move in, and that is dis-connection = anxiety.
Reading the blogs and all the many comments it is very clear we do know that there is a disconnection and a true connection to our bodies = soul. In the disconnection we are in the anxiousness and nervous energy and there is usually a feeling of being out of control. In the connection to our bodies = soul there is a settlement that our bodies fall into and the deeper we go into our soul the deeper the stillness we experience. Then there is no struggle.
One of the things that exposes the ‘Gotto fish’ in me is being sick. I can handle not doing anything (or as much) for a day then I expect myself to magically get better, so I can get on with things again. Yet when I stop I get to feel so much more, and I know this isn’t the way to live. Focussing on doing means I am actually living less than my potential as I am not bringing a quality of inner stillness to everything I do.
Fiona L such a beautiful comment, ‘Focussing on doing means I am actually living less than my potential as I am not bringing a quality of inner stillness to everything I do.’ In our trickery of not wanting to fulfil our potential, is to deny the stillness that we naturally are. We live in the ‘doing’ of life as the raciness of constantly ‘doing’ is the complete opposite to stillness, stillness bring us back to our connection with the multidimensionality of our soul.
This has reminded us all that deep down within we actually do know what it is that we are looking for and that we do know that there is something innate within us that needs to be connected to and expressed out in all relationships and in every scenario.
We know as we are from that Universal Source, we feel the Universal Pulse.
We put so much pressure on ourselves with “got to…” or have to or must do. Its like we have an expectation of ourselves to do all and be all to everyone. It’s not always an easy one to get out from. When we come back to feeling how we are in all that we do, we start to feel that the way we ‘got to’ do things is simply exhausting and that we can actually move through life doing all that we do, without that occurring at all. But this comes down to the how we are in this.
And it’s worth mentioning that the Universal fish can move fast and he can work enormously hard and do everything he’s Got-to do, but understands it’s the quality he does it in rather than the task itself.
Yes the only thing worth to ‘gotto’ do is to stay connected.
Yes – the thing we most often overlook is actually one of the most important things in life.
Ha Ha love it – yes, jstewart51, you are spot on – now I just need to keep remembering this and not putting that last on my to do list!
There are so many levels of anxiety and to go through the process of admitting and feeling it is running is step one, then realising that this is not a way you want to live your life you get to a point where you go, ‘ok lets commit to me’. I haven’t looked back and this relationship has deepened and deepened. The more I do the less anxiety and I am recently coming to a point where most of the time it is not there. How freeing is that!
I hadn’t thought of anxiety as being induced by a lack of connection with ourselves – a symptom of disconnection rather than the thing that needs fixing and addressing. The gentle breath meditation – simply focusing on one’s breath in and out- is a tool that really supports the building of a deeper connection with the body.
I sure can relate to the movements of the gotto fish and how we can push our bodies to keep going because that is the world we live in and the reflection we get each day. But as is said here – if we are open to another way then we are able to see it is possible to move differently and to have more balance in how we are.
There is another species called the ortto (ought to) fish and they are very similar.
We say we don’t have enough energy for life but what you show so clearly Joel is that we’ve been running on anxiety, not our true power. Unlike the everyday bunny – this ‘gotto’ stress ball eventually runs out.
Joseph it has been shared that we do not run on ‘Ever ready’ batteries than run out of power, if it feels like this then we are not plugged into the only true source of power there is and that is the power of the universe, connect to that and there are no power outages ever.
Thr connection with ourselves is fortunately enough not something we master in a day but deepens all the time, so we get to experience and embody for a fuller feeling.
Just even reading the phrase “I gotto do this or that” brings a tension in the body. When we “gotto do” something we are disconnected from the truth of why we are doing it in the first place.
I like this, Elizabeth, so if we have purpose first, the everything that we do is not a ‘gotto’ but simply makes sense.
I can feel that tension in my body when you mention “I gotto do this or that”. It comes with a demand, a pressure and hardness. When we change it to “feeling purpose” my body feels completely different, more open, relaxed, focused and ready to work.
Its such a clear message when we go into the “gotto to do this” that we are so disconnected from our truth, our body feels tension.
There is often a pull to get caught in having lots of things we’ve gotto do, but when we stop and notice it…hang on, it is so much better to feel the flow of the Universal fish and feel what is the energetic connection that feels different here.
Being driven by the ‘gotto’ fish, which is always focusing on the future, creates blinkers to all else life can offer us when we are open and present with the here and now.
Its so true with gotto fish we are focused on the future, which puts images in our ways and we get caught in life.
There is often a pull to get caught in having lots of things we’ve gotto do, but when we stop and notice it…hang on, It is so much better to feel the flow of the Universal fish and feel what is the energetic connection going on here.
I have been one of these ‘gotto fish’ and like the one ‘gotto fish’ that you describe, I too wriggled and twitched when I started the Gentle Breath meditation. I too persevered and uncovered a gentleness and a stillness. When I connect to this, I feel much more steadier and able to be me in life and respond to all the ups and downs.
This is so true…when on stays connected to themselves the rest of life takes care of itself.
The tension and pressure of the ‘gotto’ is completely foreign to the natural way of harmony, balance and grace within our bodies.
There is such a contrast between being driven in life by the ‘gotto’ fish… and moving harmoniously through life in a way that expresses who we truly are – and everything and more still gets ‘done’.
Its beautiful when we feel the harmony of life and everything becomes more still.
And the effect on our surrounding too when we choose so. You gotto like this.
The ‘gotto’ fish has got to be honest, absolutely honest that the life they living is not truly ‘it’ and that they in truth do not feel comfortable simply being themselves. This honesty opens the door for greater wisdom, awareness and insight into what life is truly about and how to truly be yourself.
So true Joshua… the ‘gotto’ fish isn’t comfortable with themselves, constantly striving for something ahead of themselves that will make them feel ‘better’ which never happens… however they always have a choice to not be a ‘gotto’ fish and come back to their innate inner wisdom at any time… and yes honesty is the key in making this choice.
” that we only become anxious or use nervous energy as a form of fuel when we lack one thing… connection to ourselves.” Now this is a real and reflective statement of truth and offers us the opportunity to change everything in our lives by swimming as the universal fish in true connection and flow and something well worth bringing into our lies our movements with a dedication consistency and joy.
The gentle breath meditation is certainly one that exposes what energy we have been in – if and when we have trouble doing it then it shows how far we have ventured from what we know to be a natural way of being.
The drive to do things is a common theme we can all get caught in, and it takes a lot to break out of this as a habit and begin to live with true purpose.
It is very common to be caught in the drive of doing, and I agree it takes a lot to break out of it.
Getting caught into the “Gotta fish” mode is deadly. I always find myself being gently nudged off track when I get stuck into projects to the extent that I disregard the daily rituals that help me make the day about Love. It always mean I end up spending twice as much time getting back on track often with very little to show for it.
I agree Rowena, getting caught in the ““Gotta fish” mode is deadly! With that push and drive I harden my body and increase my nervous tension so that my body aches. To re-learn how to get everything done in a quality that supports the body is a work-in-progress, but it is those daily rituals that support the consistency.
The hardness doesn’t work! We just have to read the levels of exhaustion and thyroid condition sky rocket worldwide!
With that hardness we compress and tighten ourselves, and are less able to connect to what we can feel: it’s like a veneer over the top of everything else. It’s easy to keep pushing and keep driving when we’re in that state because all we can then feel is the push, the drive and the sense of achievement from that-surface and temporary feelings that mask what our body is copping and dealing with underneath that. Moving with gentleness and bringing presence to our every movement feels like the antidote to all of this: an inroad into starting to maintain a sense of connection and steadiness within ourselves, as we move about our day.
True Bryony when we harden it is like a veneer and it does act as a barrier to what we feel… perhaps that’s the purpose of hardening… to deaden what we don’t want to feel so that it becomes easier to ignore. But this does not make what we do not want to feel go away, only each layer builds and before we know it the body becomes stagnant with suppressed feelings that gets locked in. Gentleness and presence allows the body to open and clear, quite miraculously so.
Ah, this is exactly what I should have read yesterday, Rowena, and couldn’t agree with you more. Well, now I have caught up.
I can relate to what you share, how easily you can get nudged and side tracked, then it takes ages to come back.
Universal fish is so spot on. Whatever is going on in my life that I am finding challenging, returning to my connection with myself is the true support that I had been seeking but was there all along.
Living life understanding that life is about energy has completely changed my life for the true better; living life understanding that life is about energy – first and foremost before the physical outplay happens has changed the entire raison d’etre, purpose and course of life, as well as future lives to come.
Yes Zofia, I love this too. However, seeing everything as energy first is still a work in progress for me as quite often I will still get caught in the trap of seeing things on a temporal level first and relate it back to energy after.
Living like this ‘goto’ fish is a great analogy for how stress and anxiety that is as foreign to us as being a different animal. Our true nature away from tasks is sacred, still, simple and directly impulsed by our heart.
When we are in the movement of the ‘Gotto Fish’ you can feel how it has put you into drive and the ‘doing’ behaviour, and in this movement we miss out on feeling connected to the grace, the quality and flow of the light of our Soul
This is a lovely reflection and reminder that breathing and moving in a gentle quality has a profound effect on the quality and flow of life. ‘Over time he found that his body was capable of swimming with enough gentleness that he began to move through the waters of life with stillness.’
Or why not simply ‘stop and feel my body’ and let it lead the way, then we can toss out the ‘gotto’ altogether. I find that ‘gotto’ of any description comes with pressure to be, do something more.
Love the wisdom of the ‘Universal fish’. Getting caught up in the life of ‘gotto’ proves to be a major distraction from allowing ourselves to simply be with life.
The life of the ‘gotto’ fish is an emotional and or mental one that dominates our body… change the way we live to one of feeling what is going on, feeling the truth our bodies constantly feed back to us, and life totally transforms.
“we only become anxious or use nervous energy as a form of fuel when we lack one thing… connection to ourselves” wow so true and opens up the reality of our stillness within and the beauty joy and flow of moving with this.
Yesterday I had a day with my son where I didn’t say ‘I just gotta do this’ and this was great. I made my focus on us being together and the connection and having fun together and allowed myself to not get caught up in my head and with rushing around and being busy. It was very beautiful to know that what was needed was this time together and it made me realise how precious this is and how I can get very caught up as a ‘Gotta fish’ and how this cans stop the connection. I know there are things that have to be done in the day but the connection with ourselves and each other is super important.
I have felt both ways of moving through life; with a rush – being caught up in busyness or moving through life with gentleness and stillness. The difference is huge, when I move through life with stillness and gentleness it feels like there is an ease and joy with this way, the rush and drive is exhausting and feels very empty.
This article is brilliant. What I have realised is that it is easy to get caught up in the busyness of life and to keep going until we get exhausted or ill. The last couple of days I have actually made space for myself to have stop moments in my day, such as sit and drink tea and talk with an elderly resident in my community – this was very beautiful for both of us; to take the time to buy myself some new shoes without rushing and to stop and rest. These moments feel really important and I have noticed allow me the space to ponder on life and re-assess my choices.
The reviewing of our life and how we are living it can only happen when we are living and moving with space. When we are compressed and in the tunnel visioned way of moving and being there is no room for anything other than achieving what we have doggedly set our minds on doing- and in that, we miss out on so much- especially the connection to ourselves and all others.
I have definitely lived the life of the got to do the housework person, without clear and real connections with the people who I share the house with, which makes me wonder why the pursuit of the perfect house, when there is no one to share it with?
The mental picture of perfection can dominate our lives at the expense of our bodies.
It is easy to get caught up in the ‘gotto do’ stuff of life, making lists of jobs and ticking them off, but when we pause, life will tell us with the ease off the push and drive pedal to the flow and connection way to be.
It is actually quite logic that when we disconnect form our inner most that we come to feel unsettled, that there comes an unease that when not properly dealt with by reconnecting, results in being outwardly focussed with a need to do as a compensation, or better said, as a means to medicate the tension that is otherwise unbearable to live with. So as long as we are busy and in this nervous energy, we do not have to feel the unease, the unease we, to be honest, completely have created for ourselves. And in this there is no-one to blame as we all are victims of the same lie we collectively have fallen for and with that do keep alive.
To me the simplicity that the act to only connect to myself will give me all the answers to life, to all the questions and issues I encounter, at times is to simple coming from a life where I had the idea that questions and issues only could be dealt with by an outwardly doing instead.
It is interesting how we think we can run away or obliterate our hurts and problems, however they just keep reappearing in different disguises until we actually turn round so to say and address them. When we do this then the issues can be healed and we can start to reconnect back to ourselves again. Sometimes our hurts seem so big like a big shadow on a wall and when you look to see what is making the shadow it is something very small.
When we say ‘I’ve just gotto’ we miss out on the present moment and all that is on offer in the here and now. Why are we so intent on doing something and getting somewhere? Are we that scared of our own power?
I think you have a point Rebecca, that we are scared to unleash our own power. But why would you say, because we all would like to feel powerful and self confident in life. To me it is the responsibility that comes with it but too that we have to give up all of our secret addictions to the enjoyments we have created in human life and possibly have a huge investment in.
I have found often this ‘got to’ is a big pretence – most of the business is just smoke and mirrors to keep the drama and nervous tension up
The releasing of the chain of anxiousness is to step into sunshine.
A great reminder of how valuable a tool the Gentle Breath Meditation is and with this tool and the connection it brings to ourselves life does take care of itself or should I say we are far more equipped to deal with it without the sugar, caffeine, alcohol, etc.
I have also found the gentle breath meditation life changing in that it has allowed me to connect more deeply with my body and my being.
I bet the gotto fish is inspiring lots of his fellow brothers. Like us humans, gotto fish move in shoals and follow the tried and tested routes and patterns and can be very stuck in their rhythms…so super amazing to have one of them seeing that their might be a different way and if he shines bright, swims strong and leads the way, then the whole shoal will follow.
Great visual ottobathurst, in universal flow.
If we can be open to reflections when they are presented to us there is so much we can learn.
Living this way where we have just ‘Gotta’ gets things done seems like the ‘normal’ way for us to live in society now. I can feel how much we miss out on when we live in the rush and busyness.
Reading this makes me a bit sad because I can feel with my son that I can do this, if he wants to play then I say ‘ I have just got a do this’ and then there is something else I need to do, until it gets to the point where he no longer wanted to play. I can feel that there can be such a momentum of busyness that it can feel hard to stop sometimes. We can get so caught up in the busyness that we can miss out on the precious connections with others.
The busyness is in itself a disconnection from the purpose in each moment that values what is needed and responds without resistance.
“The Universal Fish explained to him that connection was first and foremost an energetic connection. Anxiety in fact was simply our body’s way of letting us know that we are not connected.” This Universal Fish is obviously extremely wise!!!
When we exercise our bodies, why have we gotto do a certain number of each exercise? An ideal that totally over-rides the natural communication and wisdom off our bodies. This gotto thing runs very, very deep.
We put so much pressure on ourselves, creating a great deal of tension in our bodies in the process, when we have this mental ‘gotto’ running our lives… its like this stress creates even more stress, constantly building on itself – and we wonder why we end up with dis-ease and illness.
“I’ve just ‘gotto’ get this done around the house,” another would say before they might actually stop for long enough to deeply connect with others or themselves.” Yes! it feels very dismissive to be on the receiving end of this – yet equally dismissive of our very selves- our natural state, to do so too.
Yes- we use being busy as an excuse to not connect – the ‘I don’t have time for this’ that creeps in and can be so easily used as a cut down or put down. We can’t do everything that there is to do in the world so the trick is discerning where and what to our our energy into, and when, to commit in full to those things, without perfection and with no drive or determination. Just a willingness to bring our all to it.
Bringing our all to it – and in the presence of any of those things, knowing what to do and when to do it becomes very natural.
I was very much part of the ‘gotto’ fish species, and can still re-join this school of fish occasionally. The only thing that matters is getting things done, which is always at the expense of my body when I am letting that drive run me. I was stopped this year after a long day of being a stressed-out, gotto fish with an accident on my home. It was fabulous to have that jolt to feel what I had been doing and choosing.
Great isn’t it how our momentum is always reflected back to us, saying Stop. And begin to be.
‘Anxiety in fact was simply our body’s way of letting us know that we are not connected’. As anxiety is through the roof in young people these days, blogs like these are absolute gold and need to be shared far and wide. Connection and self/body awareness are key…
Absolutely Janet, when we are not connected to ourselves all manner of things can drive us. Starting with our own gentleness and moving with it is the start of diminishing feelings like anxiousness and overwhelm.
I agree it is a useful sign and yet we have made it normal to be anxious and so often miss it.
I have felt important when have to do things, I have not wanted to let go of that emotional story that I am doing something worthwhile, however meaning to life is so much more than what we do, I am learning.
When I cut the ‘gotta’, and go with the feeling that I have in my heart and body, life is incredibly different. I have no attachment, need or drive to whatever happens next, and I have the ability to respond to whatever is needed.
“gotta” – the more casual version of “gotto” – but no lesser a form of escape
So true Shirley Ann. We always have a choice, tho it doesn’t always feel like that! And as you say, as awareness builds we make clearer choices, that can also benefit others, not just ourselves.
“Nowadays, the only thing he ‘gotto’ to do is stay connected to himself. He’s not mastered it yet, but when he stays connected to this, the rest of life takes care of itself ” I love this Joel. Without connection everything else we do doesn’t truly count for much.
At work it happens a lot for me too but I can choose to still feel connected to myself and others—to just take that step to connect first even though it feels like walking in mud sometimes.
It is 2 completely different feelings. The Gotto feeling is go go go, do do do. The feeling of feeling connected is delicate and deeply connected, gentle and intimate. It’s our choice which we prefer.
So true.. when we’re not feeling connected to our bodies and what we naturally feel and sense, we lose our clarity and ability to discern what is true and what isn’t, and making a decision then becomes complicated, when actually it is all very simple.
It is such a great blog and reminder that it the quality we do things in and are that matters not how much we do. The more we put energy 1st and make life about energy the less we get caught up in the drive of wanting to succeed at everything and prove ourselves, after all we are already everything so what is there to prove?
The more we swim in the flow like the Universal Fish the more we experience the natural harmony and order in life.
‘There is always something for them to do; there is always somewhere they need to be.’ Just sitting with this sentence makes me realise that I constantly feel like I need to be somewhere else and doing the next thing, constantly playing ‘catch up’. Something I’m observing in myself more and more and asking myself how it would feel to always be early.
I can do way more than ever when I am connected, deeply present and surrender to my body. Plus I do not feel tired, strained, stressed, anxious or nervous as these don’t come from us naturally anyway.
I can so relate to the Gotto fish and the business it brings disregarding the real true quality and connection which is the foundation of stillness and love with everything we are. This changes everything and can be felt within and by all.
In our society there are countless ‘to do’ lists and things to get done, and we have a tendency to say that we just need to complete this or that and then we can relax. In other words who cares about our quality in the activity, so long as we can have a relaxed quality afterwards. But really this does not make sense as the energy or quality that you picked to do the first activity in is then magnified and brought into the so called relaxed time, which means we ‘ruin’ both. What Joel is saying here is why not start with the quality and do the activity in that quality so that it then carries through into everything you do. So simple…(though can take a while to change in our behaviours! 😉
I still fall for the ‘Gotto’ of doing things first before I check in on my quality (ie my connection) – it seems to be my false default program that I ‘goto’! But the more awareness I have of this, the more I can begin to change this and allow the connection and quality to be there first. Thank you Joel for this great reminder!
So true Henrietta. If the “gotto” is strong then I allow it to totally over-ride any awareness. Indeed I would take it further than that. Even if I have the awareness (which in truth I always do), even if I have clocked that it doesn’t feel right, even if I know that I shouldn’t be doing something…I can still use the “gotto” to over-ride all of that.
“The ‘gotto fish’ are driven by anxiety and nervous energy: a type of fuel that prizes movement over presence and switching off over connection.” that is the way most of my past life had been run, no wonder I rarely felt connected to myself or others always too busy with all the gottos to do, this has become so much less as I now know how to connect to that inner stillness that lives inside of me.
Sometimes we can convince ourselves that we are busy – but this is just the turmoil and tension we carry inside rather than a productive output.
Agreed the topic of busy v productive is a very interesting one, mostly we are busy and create being busy but in reality productivity is rare.
Joel, this is a great article, exposing for me all of the ‘doing’ that we can fill all of our time with. I realise how much importance I can put on the ‘doing’ and getting things done rather than on the quality.
Joel this fabulous story of The Gotto Fish needs to be a cartoon film like Finding Nemo or something! It appeals to all ages because of its universality. Is so brilliant.
Life constantly pressures us to put function above quality when it comes to daily life as in just get things done and get through the day and tick all the boxes we have to tick, without checking the quality of our relationship with ourselves or others in the process. But as Joel has so beautifully written, we don’t have to play that game, we can re-write the rules of how life should be.
I smiled reading this, great wisdom expressed so eloquently and with a deftness and understanding of how we are, and how life can be so different if we allow that connection to ourselves.
Life’s illusion has gotus hook line and sinker as long as we focus on tasks – before any thing that we do, there’s enjoying the Love that is us.
This little parable makes perfect sense to me. The ‘gotto fish’ has ‘got to’ hold onto something in order to be able to identify his or herself with what he/she is able to achieve. Whereas the Universal Fish knows that the very act of ‘holding on’ means that he or she can not fully ‘let go’ in order to access the deep well of wisdom that comes from within. Love it.
Very true Liane and thank you for expanding on the parable.
Simply remembering my ‘gotto’ ways is exhausting, the tightness in my chest and underlying anxiousness is so debilitating. And when I slip into ‘gotto’ behaviour these days it is an assault on my body.
Learning to let go of the gottos and living a life of surrendering to the flow and what is needed really changes everything from the intent and energy we move in and the quality we become that is felt and expressed in everything we are simply and with love. What a beautiful and important journey and sharing of our choices.
I can hear a song coming from your comment Ariana. It is pretty catchy….The Gotto Fish song.
I have started to connect more and more to the stillness within and move gently in life, and some days I revert back to living like the ‘Gotto Fish’ but the beautiful thing is I am so much more aware of when this happens. And, instead of beating myself up, I now learn from my experiences and have more understanding of why this happens. The oscillation from stillness to Gotto Fish is part of my learning and being honest about how I have been living.
Oh my, I was such a ‘gotto fish’. Taking it all on and controlling my way through life – the exquisite beauty of responding to life from the deeper wisdom of my body completely overridden. When I allow myself to be led by the grace that I am, I know I am with the greater Universal plan.
I think I wrote the manual on how to be the best ‘gotto fish’. Guess what? It doesn’t work!! Responding to life and giving the space to allow things to unfold is bringing this beauty and stillness into each moment.
From the tightness and anxiousness of ‘gotto’ to experiencing space in our bodies to be more and more of who we are… this is worth attending to.
Duty drives the ‘Gotto’ Fish, but the Universal Fish is always waiting around the seaweed to support him when he decides to take a pause and stop.
We are role models for each other in every move we make.
We sure are and the question begs, what are we are role model for? The love we all are and come from or the struggle and arduous life we have created?
Since letting go of ‘gotto’fish I have reconnected with a delicateness within that I had not previously thought was possible. I feel exquisite in this surrender and it inspires me to keep going with leaving the life of ‘gotto’ fish behind.
Gotto has been my greatest companion, not supportive but familiar and relatable to others. You stand out when you stop doing gotto. But now I can see how much of an inspiration that can be for others stuck in gotto. I know there have been many like Joel that I have observed over the years that made life effortless and simple when they are connected.
Ya, I just Gotto be me!
Shirely-Ann I agree there is more freedom and joy when we don’t get caught in the Gotto and when we just allow the flow to support us in completing what needs to be done in the present moment.
Absolutely a beautiful blog, when we stay connected to our stillness and move with that quality in life there is no space for anxiousness and nervous energy, there is a beautiful flow.
There sure is Amita, and we always have a choice. Do we choose to be with the flow or do we choose to swim against it wanting to carve our own path along the way?
I know it took a long time (and still ongoing to some degree) for me to let go of the ‘success’ of getting a lot of things done but not checking the quality of how I was doing it or the quality of relationships I was having with others along the way.
No where to go and nothing we need to achieve or improve when we stop living the life of the Gotto Fish and yet within that stillness is ever unfolding surrender and expansion.
“No where to go and nothing we need to achieve’ how different would life be if we were brought up knowing this as children? It would take the pressure and stress away and we would be free to be ourselves.
The ‘gotto’ life is totally driven by nervous energy… no wonder we are all so exhausted!
A great point and if we don’t consider we are exhausted we just have to look at the amount of sugar, coffee and other substances we are consuming to keep us going.
Exhaustion is at a big-time high and once we are running on drive and nervous energy, it can be very difficult to stop and register how this affects our body.
Yes, Joel, I too am exploring the ‘quality rather than quantity’ principle of living in a way that ensures a loving quality in my movements and a surrender to feeling what is there to step into, rather than driving myself to fulfil my own version of a ‘got to’ plan.
Love what you are sharing Janet, surrendering to that which ensures our movements are aligned to the Universal fish flow… and not our own idea, version of what that is.
I love re-visiting this Joel with its beautiful reminders to be aware of the ‘Gotto’ pressures that can fill our day if unchecked. The reminder of knowing that we don’t have to struggle along and do anything alone – there is always the unseen support that is there with us all, to remember how to live in a true and natural way, without all the striving and doing, as the deep wisdom and Living Way of the ‘Universal Fish’ constantly reflects to us.
As we move through life and reflect on the stillness that we can all feel even in the most tumultuous situations because we can start to undo the anxiousness that has crept into our lives, and how important our movements are in undoing any ill-energy. It is import to understand our movements as we walk through life as they can be the most Loving acts, which can always bring a simple way of healing. So even if we go against the tide of popular ways of thinking we can be in the cesspool and not be affected if we understand our true movements that are available through our sacredness.
It can be easy for the ‘Gotto’ Fish when hearing the wisdom from the Universal Fish for the first time, to re-interpret that into ‘gotto’ as well. However, with time, the innate wisdom becomes reawakened and the truth of the Universal Fish can be swum.
Beautifully shared Rachel, it is allowing the innate wisdom to become re awakened so the truth of the Universal Fish can be swum.
On reflection, it is interesting to consider how these ‘Gotto fish’ have increased significantly in numbers in recent years. Having been one of them in more recent years, I do remember life being much more simple with far less demands on everyone as a younger ‘fry’! But letting go of the ‘doing’ and allowing ourselves to simply be and then move from there leaves so much space and energy to get so much more done.
This is a great marker for us to be aware of “Each time their body comes to a rest, something kicks in that either requires a complete switch off or the next ‘gotto’ task to be completed.“ Settling for check out or distraction should not be normal. As a humanity we are making ourselves sick in the relentless push to not feel our natural stillness within, stillness being a quality not an immobility, stillness is a way of being, as we move where the brain, mind, body is a whole responsive unit.
The ‘Gotto Fish’ is very strong in me and just the idea of ‘being’ makes a part of me squirm. It’s crazy that I like the doing and pushing so much when it leaves my body feeling so run down and exhausted. The thing is when we repeat this over and over we become so used to the feeling that we accept it as normal, chipping further away from knowing who we truly are.
Fiona my experience was to allow the space for the wisdom of the Universal Fish to be embodied within ourselves, this then supports us to let go of the ‘Gotto Fish’, this is what I allowed for myself, as I too was a person who got caught very strongly in the ‘Gotto Fish’.
A great sharing of the gotto fish and the understanding and familarity of this with the simplicity and joy of connecting and being that is so real and attainable if we choose it.
“Nowadays, the only thing he ‘gotto’ to do is stay connected to himself” – to his stillness, to make living life, swimming amongst its rough waters, the ease and simplicity it is.
Joel, I deeply appreciate how you help bust the myth of the ‘gotto’ behaviour with this blog. This is something most of us are very familiar with, and with the awareness of this, we have the ability to catch when we are in it and choose to no longer play the game…Of course this is not always easy to do when we have had a habit of playing this game for eons…it takes commitment and dedication to self and others and is a step by step process.
When we are driven by all the things that we gotto do, then we are trapped in the cage of time and its pressures and expectations which never hold the quality as the important ingredient.
‘Time and its pressures’ is something we all fall for, like a hamster on a wheel… a constant cycle of stress. Step off the hamster wheel, as suggested in this blog, and life transforms to one of harmony and grace.
Absolutely the gotto do does trap us in time, whereas when we let go of this gotto, there is so much more space and flow which allows us to complete lots more with ease and flow in the body.
We live life like someone has a gun to our head – but the true aggressor is the energy that encourages us to forget our true beauty inside.
Great description Joseph, it does feel like we are living in constant fear and blind to the beauty and power we hold within. Exposing the energy behind this plot is very much needed to free ourselves out of this invisible ransom.
In the distraction of always being busy, we can deftly avoid dealing with our issues or hurts as well as keeping others out – quite conveniently, as we have to do life but don’t want to engage or feel our stuff.
Yes and we fear stopping because if we do it means we will really feel, we fear opening that box, those layers of hurts. The truth is the more we do go there, the less we find we ‘gotto’ try, do those things not to feel, feeling is our natural state, not playing dumb or numb.
It’s also incredibly powerful to let ourselves feel. When we give ourselves space just to be with where we are at and then nominate what we are feeling, the healing in this can be profound. It may feel uncomfortable to realise the choices we have made have led to those hurts (we can’t in truth blame anyone else), but that uncomfortable rawness passes in the nomination and the reimprinting of those choices, building a much stronger platform of awareness and foundation.
I am really enjoying the reminders and deepening of awareness that reading this blog brings to everyday life. Catching the ‘gotto’ being expressed is offering the opportunity to simply pause, re-connect to purpose and choose to move with space instead of rush. Thank you Joel.
I am gently learning to embrace anxiousness when I become aware of it running through my body. Through embracing the anxiousness which is not who I am, I am offered a moment to change my movements to loving ones to support me to not only let go of the anxiousness but to help me come back to myself.
So beautifully expressed Caroline – when we allow ourselves to feel what we are feeling, then we have the choice to make a change, the choice to make a different choice 😉
Much better to embrace it and feel it, rather than bury it (often under food). The rawness of the truth is then something that we can work with.
The beauty is that when we feel inspired by someone it is something we deep down know to be our truth.
Esther spot on, when we are inspired, we know that truth within ourselves already, that essence is within us too.
Often when we’re in ‘gotto’ mode it feels like that is the only way to live. It might look and seem ‘normal’ if everyone else is also living in the same way but our bodies always know differently- they know that we’re all the universal fish, even if we choose not to see it ourselves.
We undermine the amazingness that can develop from the natural unfolding of life when instead of feeling with our heart what is required in the moment and respond, we opt for pictures and ideals. The “I have got to” mentality is kind of another imposed picture, but it takes it even further, because there is a pretence that we have no choice. We now have something we accept no responsibility for whatsoever.
This just goes to show even if we are 100% committed but do not know the true truth regarding energy we can still be swimming the wrong way!!! We need more of those Universal fish in the sea.
We need to allow ourselves to connect to the true truth within ourselves from the reflection and inspiration given by the Universal Fish in the Sea.
Awesome parabel yet again Joel. The Gotto Fish is part of a large family and because it is one of the main fishes in the sea it thinks itself to be normal. Until such time there is one that feels an inner tug that is saying this can’t be it, and this one fish will find another way of being, showing all other gotto fishes it comes across a new normal. One by one the gotto fish will adapt to their evolution until one day the Gotto fish will be well and truly extinct.
I was reading this today and then I had to ‘gotto’ do something. Did it. Came back. And went oh the irony. I did not really have to do that thing. I am far less ‘gotto fish’ these days but it is a loving work in progress for me to lessen its grip and live more from connection.
Brilliant! Love this honesty Sarah – for me, emails are a great test of the gotto. The notifications popping up on screen. A superb lesson in what is responsible responsively and what is distraction/escape/circulation?
The greatest inspiration in this world is in how we can live. I like the analogy of the ‘Universal Fish’ because it’s true that we can reflect so much in who we are, in being universal, respectful, responsible and dedicated, rather than by what we do.
The ‘Gotto’ way gets much acclaim in life these days and it takes a Universal Fish to open our eyes to another way of being.
True Matilda, the ‘Gotto’ is a prized way of being that, whilst filling an empty hole, can keep us busy and looking important. It also says I am just like you and I am happy being in the mix (even if it makes me miserable). The Universal Fish does open our eyes to the fact that another way exists and provides us with a choice to stay with the shoal, or depart and create a new one… one that may start off small but will grow in time.
Agreed Matilda and its that Universal Fish that has not only opened my eyes but also inspired so many to try another way, one that is true to us.
I have come to love that when I ask a question from a place deep within me, a question I know is so important as to what comes next in my life, that “life has a way of responding”. At times I actually mightn’t like the answer I initially get and hope for another one that fits in with what I wanted, but eventually I come to realise this is the true answer, the one I was waiting for and in truth, ready to hear.
When we let go of the need to do we find there is a place where we can begin to be and we begin to stop living the life of the Gotto Fish…..
Yes Susan, this is so true. And when we find that place we discover that all we have to ‘do’ is to be ourselves.
“The interesting thing about life is that when you ask a question from this deeper place, life has a way of responding”. I also asked the question, surely there is another way to be and there must be a way to truly love and the ‘Universal Fish,’ a wise fish who has swum the waters of life for many, many years came into my life also and with his support I began to swim in my own direction getting to know myself to the point where I now know I am in the process of returning to swim with the shoal to reflect the absolute truth of love I am discovering within myself.
All the constant doing is the very thing that stops us from finding the very thing we are in fact looking for, inner connection.
The ‘gotto’ fish is “… driven by anxiety and nervous energy: a type of fuel that prizes movement over presence and switching off over connection.” When we call this behaviour out there is no longer any energy for it to run.
We can get caught up in all that we have to do, so busy, that we forget that we are the person doing all that we do – we think its all about what we do. Despite that we are still there underneath all that doing and re-connecting to ourselves changes the quality of what we do because this connection becomes everything.
Life of the Gotto fish, is one about fitting in with the rest of the shoal, being one of the crowd and not standing out… the wise fish is not afraid to show something different, expose the untruth of life and can stand up the attack from individuals who defend, with all their might that their choices are fine. As each member of the shoal turn towards the wise fish and change their way of living, the critical mass will change and it will become normal to live from brotherhood and love.
When we live our life in segments, where we go full on and then have to stop and relax, we are not living the one life that is actually true. We are actually not designed to check out but have disconnected from our natural state of connection and purpose.
‘he began to move through the waters of life with stillness’ Now that is very cool.
I am soooo glad I met the wise fish who reminded me that running around doing everything for everyone else left me unable to actually care for anyone, including myself. It seems like a ‘no-brainer’ and my body was telling me exactly the same message loud and clear, yet when that is an ingrained norm you cannot see clearly. It took the deterioration of my health and the wise fish to break that spell.
It sounds like we’ve both met the same ‘wise fish’ Fiona and like you I am ever so delighted that I have. His constant loving reminders of the importance of looking after myself first, and very deeply, have been life-changing, from a life that was so challenging, and often not very enjoyable to live, to one where I absolutely enjoy every single day and where any challenges are welcomed as opportunities to learn and to grow.
Thankfully our world does have a few role models like the Universal Fish that Joel has talked about here – without this reflection from them we would be far more lost in terms of coming back to a true way of being. For me this true role model has been Serge Benhayon in his unwavering love and dedication for everyone, and with his reflection of how to be in a world that is increasingly chaotic in its delivery.
The quality of who we are is key in bringing this to all that we do. There is so much to get done in a day, but without the connection it is pure function, where as with connection we can bring the quality of who we are and give that much more meaning and repercussions to all that we do.
“Anxiety in fact was simply our body’s way of letting us know that we are not connected.” So simple to understand once we know the truth of this.
“Not only that, when he did become more still he would begin to feel things within that were both beautiful” – [his expanse, his wisdom] “and unsettling” [how far he, and so many others too, have and are swimming away from this universality].
What a beautiful sharing of the anxiousness and Gotto way of life we chose and the remedy connection to ourselves our innermost and the reflection of this from the universal fish. “Over time he found that his body was capable of swimming with enough gentleness that he began to move through the waters of life with stillness.” A real inspiration of the possibilities and choices available to us.
I have lived that nervous energy of the ‘gotto’ fish, and it never ends, as soon as one thing is finished, another thing comes to replace it. But life is more than about completing tasks and a mundane existence from one day to the next, life is full of joy and magic, connection to the body and all that we are, when we stop for a moment to feel it.
The lesson to learn is how to be busy and have a life full of purpose, without slipping into the ‘I’ve got so much to do’ attitude that robs us of the joy in life
‘… there is always somewhere they need to be.’ – to avoid being themselves.
Talking of fish. I’ve always enjoyed watching fish in rivers (salmon especially). Seemingly they are doing nothing. Totally still as the river runs past them. But in fact, they are breathing – by very efficiently using the flow of the water over their gills. They are feeding – allowing the food to come to them – occasionally drifting left or right when they see something juicy coming. They are in fact constantly moving their body, to counter the flow of the water – but do exactly what is required to stay perfectly still, no more no less. And then, when there is a purpose, they can explode with energy and power and incredible lightning speed; to catch some food, to climb ridiculously high and powerful waterfalls (to get to the breeding grounds up river), or to avoid any prey. They are awesome fish.
This way of liking is the norm ‘just gotta do this’ and it is a driven and functional way of being. I am continually reminding myself to connect within and to feel what my body is telling me.
I bet the gotto fish always wanted a reward after he had done everything that he gotto do? A holiday? A piece of cake? A beer? Or maybe just a belly full of plankton? Either way – when we do things in the gotto frame of mind, that drive will always seeks reward.
Yes that feels absolutely true Ott Bathurst, after the drive of having to get this and that done, there is the need for a reward, why else would you do all that…
Gotto. Why? What is the true purpose of that which we have “got to do”. When I don’t stop and ask this question, which is very often, I then find myself driving the gotto even harder – to justify that which I am doing. If there was true purpose, there would be no justification of drive, no gotto.
Beautiful Joel – you perfectly capture the madness of living in permanent motion in a world asking us to flow with our stillness.
Great article Joel, I have been one to enjoy being busy, always something I just had to do to keep me away from feeling the anxiety and exhaustion, even today I started to go into anxiety about a lot to do, when I realised this pattern I can choose to come back to my body and just feel and allow the anxiety to dissolve.
It is incredible how much our bodies are communicating with us, when I feel anxious I tend to overeat simply another greater warning flag to tell me that I’m disconnected.
Gotto means Notto – not-to be who we are but do what we think we need to become.
I like that. We have names for things we do but only when we start to call them for what they truly are does it become clear what we are really doing to ourselves.
Love this play on words Alexander – as we let go of Gotto, it exposes the push, rush, drive and struggle of the Notto. Wanting to become something to be seen as a success, rather than the simplicity of surrendering back to the innermost essence that is already everything.
“He had a smile on his face, enjoying the feeling of moving in stillness.” And all the other angelfish were smiling as he was no longer creating waves in their ocean of energy.
‘Yet most are raised by other ‘gotto fish,’ so living in this way is so familiar and common that they never really see that anything is wrong.’ There can be no blame in this toward parents as they only know what their parents have shown them and it becomes a cycle which perpetuates itself but can be changed by those who become aware of this fact.
I really love that Elizabeth, checking regularly our intentions – something that we do not do often enough.
Great analogy for the fact that we all not only need to find a new way to live, but that it’s a process, or a transformation that does not happen overnight, but gradually day by day if we commit to that change.
The gotto excuse = classic escapism from intimacy, responsibility and power.
And honesty. If I have gotto to do something then I’m never going to be open to the possibility that it might not be the true thing to be doing. Gotto is a protection, a wall of stubbornness, that keeps out the potential offering of loving support.
Joel, I have found this article both exposing and really supportive. I found myself saying to my son yesterday that I have just ‘gotto’ do this and then I will spend time with him. What I realised is that there are endless things that I have ‘gotto’ do and that making time to be with him and connect is important, rather than waiting until I have completed my endless list of things to do.
Waiting until everything is completed on the to-do list is the perfect set up and distraction from going deeper within ourselves or with others. When we live in a way where we feel space, we feel the depth of who we are.
Anxiousness and tension is such an old held state of getting through life, it takes some practice to settle into a harmonious non-judgemental way of being. I am finding that it is so worth the discipline and observation, as we get to enjoy another quality – the feeling of lightness and purpose that has nothing to do with ‘gotto’s’. Thank you Joel for sharing your experience and for reminding me how simple an act it is to connect back to ourself.
‘He came across the ‘Universal Fish,’ a wise fish who has swum the waters of life for many, many years. There was nothing the Universal Fish had not seen, done or tried, yet there was a twinkle in his eye and an ease to how he moved.’ Interesting that this feels like a childlike way of being but as an adult.
The moment we are on the gotto hook we’re out of our water, i.e. disconnected from ourselves as what we do becomes more important than being who we are.
‘There is always something for them to do; there is always somewhere they need to be.’ – The gotto fish reality can seem a bit like being in a fish tank, imprisoned and without a way out – only we can break that illusion and see and move beyond the walls.
There is no doing in love. But in every moment, we can be it, without needing to do anything really, but simply expressing in the level of love our body has reached.
This blog is great to keep me in your mind when the ‘gotto’ fish wants to make an appearance. The other day I was tired and bed was calling me. Then all of a sudden I found myself at a cupboard fixing it up – ‘just gotto finish this job’ I could hear myself say.. And I was like woah up there gotto fish, we ain’t gotta just to do this, it is time for bed. And then I put myself to bed. The world did not end because a cupboard was messy for another night.
Life without connection to our soul means we are a part of everything that is not love, truth and stillness. The Gentle Breath Meditation™ is such a powerful and simple tool to begin that process of reconnection to ourselves. I remember when I first started the Gentle Breath Meditation™, returning to even gentleness was difficult, I knew the Meditation was simple but I had been running my body a certain way for some time so even gentleness took time to return.
The ‘gotto’s’ never cease, they are a perpetual part of our evolution and innate factor of our purpose here on Earth. The shift in awareness that Universal Fish delivers is that it is not the nature of the gotto that takes top priority, but the quality in which we do them. When we make Love the first rule of engagement, the gotto’s take on an entirely different meaning, approach and delivery.
I can relate to the “gotto fish” behaviour and I did it a lot and at times see myself being in this mind driven way of living life. It is not pleasant, it hurts, but it is the drive to not being confronted with my undealt hurts that living like this keeps it perpetuating.
I have been appreciating what a gorgeous reflection I’m being offered through the way I drive on the road, in terms of how I am ‘swimming’ through life. I used to be one of those crazy drivers changing lanes to optimise how quickly I could zip along to wherever I was going – no more, I’ve noticed an enormous shift in how I am in the car, with myself and this then affects how I am on the road and how I am in life.
This is beautiful. I went through such a shift but not as clearly and I still change lanes at times …
I can absolutely relate to that Alison – there is an instant reflection from how I behave in the traffic and how I am in life at that point in time.
‘They would say they move through life easily enough, but in reality there is little real ease in their movement. Each time their body comes to a rest, something kicks in that either requires a complete switch off or the next ‘gotto’ task to be completed.’ – what is it that propels us through this flurry of continuous activity – all these ‘Gotto’ moments are self imposed – so what is it that is driving us away from our connection with our selves and each other?
I am sure a lot of people can relate to this blog and what you have shared Joel especially in terms of the constant bussy-ness and activity that does not allow any space to just be. However, it is truly that simple as allowing the breath to become gentle at first, that allows then the connection with ourselves to re-establish and hence the space to be felt around us. And this is the real beginning of living rather than functioning.
Wonderful analogy here Joel – and thank you for the beautiful reminder of how connection is our foundation in life for anything to be solid and have true meaning.
Yes it is a great reminder that life is about connection first as otherwise we end up like a donkey chasing the carrot, or as in this blog, the gotto fish.
This is one wise fish – ‘Anxiety in fact was simply our body’s way of letting us know that we are not connected.’ – So when we bring it back to the simplicity of connection and not dropping the ball on this then how essential is it to be connected to our essence first and foremost and to then have that same connection with others. Pretty key if you ask me.
In stead of feeling like we ‘gotto’ do life, we can ‘wanna’ do life! There is a big difference between got to and want to. It changes everything.
We identify with all the things we have ‘gotto’ do. If we stop for a moment then we get to discover what we are avoiding feeling by rushing from one thing to another and with a little connection who can even discover who we truly are.
That´s something actually everyone gotto discover one day for themselves ! The Gentle Breath Meditation is an easy tool to initiate the experience.
I relate to your gotto fish, I often are in this energy and it feels horrible to feel how this is for everyone else, the lack of connection is very sad.
I have been and still often am a gotto fish – the simplicity that your superb analogy reveals shows me how much I am putting myself in the way.
Yikes! Reading this today I can see how much I swim like a Gotto fish! It goes something like, when I complete this then I can be with friends. This includes physical tasks but also being a certain way, sorting out an issue that isn’t actually an issue I just make it up. Universal fish is so wise. It’s as simple as connection first.
“Nowadays, the only thing he ‘gotto’ to do is stay connected to himself… when he stays connected to this, the rest of life takes care of itself …” This is so true Joel – staying connected to ourselves, to our bodies, is the number one priority in our lives…and everything else constellates in harmony with this connection.
It is through our bodies that we are either connected with everything or disconnected from everything, it really is as simple as that.
We run with the ‘gotto’ belief… but who is saying we have ‘gotto’? It is a self inflicted way of being in life.
It surely is, Paula, one that depletes and exhausts us and reduces us to a mere flicker of our glorious true selves.
‘that we only become anxious or use nervous energy as a form of fuel when we lack one thing… connection to ourselves.’ this would answer the questions of the masses who are currently living with some form of anxiousness and offer a very easy, simple way to start to understand and change the condition they are living in.
There is so much more to life than our wants, desires and must do’s, All we need to do is put down our small agendas and connect to the fact that we live within a mind blowingly enormous Universe that has an entirely different agenda to embrace, one compiled by an intelligence that goes way beyond our limited understanding of what life on planet Earth is really about.
This is a great explanation of why we can exhaust ourselves through life… I don’t think many people are aware of it, but it makes so much sense. I recall the days when I am in the driving “Gotto” mode and the days when I am not and it makes a huge difference on how I am going to be feeling at the end of the day, the following day or even the whole week. Thank you ❤️
Yes Alex. This difference is so undeniable – and yet we indulge in any level of distraction, addiction, abuse to fuel the denial
The ‘fuel that prizes movement over presence and switching off over connection.’ I can still sadly relate to this. Great to reread your post Joel. A very timely reminder to surrender more deeply.
I love the switch that is evident in this blog, from ‘getting through life’ to ‘finding another way to move through life’, the latter movement that has dropped the need to fulfill expectations (the got to’s) and rather uses connection and presence in movement to guide us through the day.
And I get that this is a call to quiet and honest responsibility about the quality we feel in ourselves in all our moments and activities… is it stillness or is the ‘gotto’ pull?
There is so much understanding here about the human condition and the ‘gotto’ trap. Reading this was both an ‘aha’ and an inspiration moment. I have been a master ‘gotto’, as I feel have so many of us, and it is brilliant to read this wisdom in such a playful and accessible way.
Spot on Matilda – the trap so many of us can relate to, and an offering of a different way to be so that we do not have to continue down this track…
In the stillness of the connection to our inner hearts there is not one ounce of drive, only the impulse of what there is to be done.
It’s true that the only thing we ‘gotto’ fish need to do is stay connected. Then the rest will fall into place in a way that brings a smile back to your face and a sparkle in your eyes.
The ‘gotto fish’ can get us all the time if we’re not careful. We can do something out of obligation, or we can do it because we feel to do it or know it needs to be done. There is a massive difference.
I know many will recognise themselves as Gotto Fish reading this blog. I have lived this way for a very long time – even continuing to a degree after being shown another way by many Universal Fish who have made the choice to live life running on a true source of energy rather than dragging an exhausted body through life. After being very sick for months recently my Gottos have dropped away leaving me with the blessing of being able to feel the sweet surrender of my body, knowing there was never really any gotto that was more important than the connection I have with soul.
I wonder how many of our conversations actually start from a place of anxiety rather than a place of settlement, openness and purpose, which every interaction has the potential to be about?
Whenever I have genuinely asked for answers in my life they have come along too though not always in ways I expected.
I remember the wriggles and itches when I first started to do the gentle breath meditation. My spirit just did not want to feel the stillness and motion of God in my breath.
I still get them. Often. The Gentle Breath Meditation will reveal where I am and how I’ve been living – which is why it is such a valuable and supportive tool.
Ah the fitting in… WHO are we if we don’t fit in? Could there be more to us?
‘They would say they move through life easily enough, but in reality there is little real ease in their movement.’ – The illusion we live under knows no limits and we would easily swear we have a great life.
So true and therein lies the trickery in the illusion – why would you question something which you feel is providing a great life. Only when it crashes or has a pinnacle which does fulfil everything that’s empty do we start to question why.
Beautifully expressed Ariana. Ultimately the ‘gotto’ fish has invested in ideals and pictures over truth and love.
We think we have to try, to do, to struggle, to find, to seek, to explore, there are many things we think we have to do but simply be-ing is it, staying connected and living from that connection.
Thanks, Joel. With this allegory we are shown how it is never to late to simplify our lives and return to a life of connection and joy.
Understanding anxiousness and nervous energy as a type of fuel that runs our body – one that prizes “movement over presence and switching off over connection” we get to clearly see the antidote to these common disorders in the body: stillness and re-connection are the medicine.
Thank God for the Universal Fish that IS swimming against the tide and offering the opportunity for the ‘gotto fish’ to know there is another way to swim that makes it possible to render nought the exhaustion and overwhelm of push, drive and rush of the ‘gotto-do’ syndrome.
For the last two nights I have been experimenting with letting go of the ‘Gotto Fish’ and it has made such a huge difference to the quality of my sleep and how I have felt when I have woken up in the morning. Shifting this pattern for me is huge, I resist it so much as I have spent a life focusing on what I do and not who I am.
The more we focus on the Am, the more the Am expands.
Great realisation – appreciating the Am.
What a topsy turvy life we create for our selves in our constant spin to ‘get something done’ at the price of our inner stillness and connection with each other and our selves. What a grace it is to meet a person who makes this their first port of call, not their last, and in doing so reminds that we all have a true place of grace within ourselves to return to and live from, a choice that is open to us all.
Love what you share here Rowena, it’s so true, when we are met first for who we are it’s as though all our particles light up with joy, we can feel the treasure trove that lies within us all, that we all too often dismiss or ignore completely.
The Gotto fish is avoiding the very thing he/she craves the most, connection.
Are we avoiding intimacy and connection with others as we have dis-connected with ourselves first? Instead, we have chosen to be captured by the constant bombardment within our society of how we ‘should be’ in this life over the truthful wisdom being shared from within our selves. When we choose to connect and listen, we already know exactly how to be – our true selves.
When we are so busy caught up in the drive of doing things there is no room for intimacy. But also we can have very full purposeful lives and be intimate with everyone.
A great question to ask ourselves, Alison. I know that when I am avoiding intimacy with myself or others I am avoiding responsibility – as in, seeing and being shown (often simply by reflection) where I am at and what is going on.
Given that there are always things that we can find to do – is it that the matter at hand is so pressing that we feel we can’t spare the time (4 mins even) to connect with the person we are with, or are these ‘pressing things that we’ve ‘gotto’ do actually our excuses, allowing us to avoid connection and intimacy with each other?
Indeed … ‘gotto’ stay connected 🙂
Touché Ariana… it is the staggering truth – to make lovelessness more important than Love is a crazy way to live but it is what the majority of us choose everyday!
The ‘gotto’ fish is constantly driven by our minds. Connect and live from our bodies and life has a flow and harmony to it that no mind comes close to.
Very true, our minds only tune into a certain bandwidth at any moment in time, yet our bodies are able to feel multi-dimensionality, there are no limits.
We can often feel alone, swimming in the waters and getting through life. But what we often forget is that ‘life’ is listening to us constantly, and it responds more than we are to realise or appreciate. It presents the challenges we need to face and deal with that get in the way of our connection to ourselves, and it presents the answers of how that connection can be lived in amongst the murkiest patches of water.
It felt very beautiful reading your comment this morning, Rachael and appreciating how we are constantly being held in love – as we are presented with exactly what we need to take our next step forward, expanding our understanding and learning. The choice is always ours whether we move forward, to the side, backwards or stay still, however, the love and support for each and every one of us never waivers.
‘Gotto’ do this and ‘Gotto’ do that. Its no wonder we swim around in circles and make ourselves exhausted by creating the external ‘got’ do list.
What you are sharing really rings true with me. I can feel that I can say I have just ‘Gotto’ do this to avoid stopping and resting and feeling what is going on and that actually living in this way is exhausting.
Living this way is exhausting. I so agree Rebecca. Time to connect first as there will always be things we gotta do….
The gotto fish uses duties, obligations, demands, plans and ideas to create pressure and thereby make energy available – it works the same way as coffee or sugar or other uppers. It runs the body down and gives us plenty of energy for a limited time.
It is amazing to consider the strategies we adopt to stimulate and keep us buzzing even if we do not consume stimulants such as caffeine, sugar and alcohol. The ‘gotto’ way has very similar physical impacts and health implications as these substances.
Thank heavens for the Universal Fish, and I say that as an ex Gotto who still sometimes dips back into the Gotto shoal, only to find it really is swimming against the tide and so find again my own way back.
The ‘gotto’ pull is strong. It is how we have set things up in society and the wheel has been turning for a long time. As you say, thank heavens for the Universal Fish who, simply by swimming past the shoal, offers a ripple that we all feel and that offers the way into a different way.
“most are raised by other ‘gotto fish,’ so living in this way is so familiar and common that they never really see that anything is wrong.” it’s a bit like compound interest – the state of affairs generation after generation gradually getting more extreme, without us really acknowledging the fact, until the point we find ourselves totally broke.
Being raised with this motto has left many people high and dry with the levels of exhaustion and overwhelm that come with the ‘go to do’ list. The universal fish has shown that there is another way if we choose to put love first.
“Got to” is the same like someone totally withdrawn from life. It just looks busier being a “got to” but energetically both parties are disconnected to who they really are and covering their anxiousness with a behaviour. One with drive, the other with giving up.
“Go to” or ‘go against ” either way we are pushing or pulling away from what we know is a true way of living.
We have so many role models in our lives, initially our parents, but also all the adults around us and then at school we watch the older children. Children our own age may act in a way (bullying) that we come to call normal and so we may grow up thinking bullying behaviour is the way to express how we are feeling. Our colleagues at work may be like the Gotto Fish, we have opportunities our whole life for learning how to be like everyone else.
‘The ‘gotto fish’ are driven by anxiety and nervous energy: a type of fuel that prizes movement over presence and switching off over connection.’ – Yes, the gotto fish constantly needs to prove their worth.
These are the true nighttime, or day time, stories that bring us wisdom and everydayness.
Imagine you would grow up with these kind of stories instead or fairytales etc. ! That would make an enormous change.
Yes, pure and practical wisdom.
Great to ask what is the quality of intention behind all that we choose to do.
“Life of the ‘Gotto’ Fish” – is gold when the “go to” is back to love.
It is a true fact Joel that anxiety is simply our body’s way of letting us know that we are not connected. From my own experience, I am learning to feel the difference in my body and the gentle breath meditation is the key to returning to connection. It’s all we gotto do.
But gosh how the ‘gotto’ resists simplicity – in this case the Gentle Breath Meditation – my experience being a love of complication because it justifies the ‘gotto’ way.
“… we only become anxious or use nervous energy as a form of fuel when we lack one thing… connection to ourselves.” The medicine of our future brought to our door by Universal Fish, who through his own awareness and connection ushers in our future ways now, showing all through his grace and wisdom the way to return to who we truly are, Universal, divine and amazing Fish.
When we plug into the truth of who we are, we plug into the unlimited resources of the Universe but when we are disconnected from ourselves, we have to scrabble around for substitute and inferior sources of fuel.
This is a great reminder that staying connected to ourselves is our most important tool and that it does take time to master and that is what we are here to learn for through that connection we connect to the all.
And have all the energy we need and much more.
What we call life is so often just a list of tasks and obligations which sit in place where true connection, wonder and presence should be. If you were offered Love and the wisdom of God or stress and disease, surely it’s a no brainer. And yet see what we choose.
Yes.. most of us have settled for a functional life, devoid of the bigger picture, and punctuated by the highs and lows – a holiday or treat to lift us up and out of the day to day drudgery and grind. What I love about what Serge Benhayon and many other world teachers have presented through the ages is that life is not supposed to be about pure function, and to live like that is to miss out out on the grandness of life, that is right there and accessible to each and every one of us. There is a bigger picture and whole massive universe that we’re all a part of, and connecting to this, by connecting more deeply to what we can feel, is what restores our vitality, settlement and deep contentment in life.
When we live from the love that we are then there is no such thing as function, there is just love in action.
The world have made being busy a success. Don’t deal with your issues just bury them by being too busy. But that causes a vicious cycle of not wanting to deal with life even more. Feeling the space within is key for any true change in life.
This blog is an absolute gem Joel, the wisdom and playfulness you express in are very inspiring and expansive. What you’ve shared about anxiety is so valuable and spot on.
Oh yes, I totally agree; this would make a wonderful offering to the world via Sunlight Ink Publishing.
We breed anxiousness when we jump from one thing to the next, driven by ‘gotto’ and with the elusive but willed conquest of another task firmly in our sight.
‘Yet most are raised by other ‘gotto fish,’ so living in this way is so familiar and common that they never really see that anything is wrong.’ It really takes Universal Fish to show what’s possible and at first I found it different but just couldn’t work out why or what I was seeing it was so different. And now I’m getting used to how natural Universal Fish is living that I feel I too can live this way.
Our minds constantly run with the ‘gotto’ stories – in total disregard to where our bodies are at and what they need in that moment.
‘Each time their body comes to a rest, something kicks in that either requires a complete switch off or the next ‘gotto’ task to be completed.’ This is super interesting. Such is the excessive motion and drive that feeling the consequences of this is not an option meaning that the only option is to totally switch off.
Yes, we are so denatured from our innate grandness that we do not even realise how lost we are.
It really is that simple. Why then, do we choose complications and distractions that keeps us disconnected?
‘we only become anxious or use nervous energy as a form of fuel when we lack one thing… connection to ourselves.’ – Yes indeed, and when we look at the state of humanity today, we are propelling in the other direction, incessantly inventing more and more ways to distract ourselves… away from ourselves.
‘Anxiety in fact was simply our body’s way of letting us know that we are not connected.’ The answer to the worldwide anxiety problem is so simple… we just need to connect like the universal fish!
Understanding that the quality of the universal fish is something we all know and have within us.
Yes this quality is innate. When a new born baby is sleeping they just emanate this stunning stillness. This quality never leaves us even if we choose to not connect… it will always be there and like a radio frequency it’s just a matter of tuning in.
Reading the ‘gotto’ examples offered in this blog reflects how such a way of relating to life is neither supportive of ourselves, nor is it honouring of others.
Very true, Golnaz, it feels like we are ‘getting through’ life in ‘busy-ness’, rather than stopping and connecting with ourselves first, then each other, and allowing everything else to flow from here – the difference between swimming in a narrow channel versus being in a whole ocean of potential and opportunities.
The feeling of anxiousness so many of us live with is linked to dramas that we ourselves create. They are a great distraction from the realities of life. If we allow ourselves to be still and feel the natural tension that is there, and live more tenderly, then the stillness will be easier to maintain.
Whenever we go into reaction, we are being reeled in on the ‘Drama Rod’, hook line and sinker.
Yes Alison, taking the bait of drama that has been cast out in our direction and swallowing it hook, line and sinker we run with reaction scenario creating even more drama.
Stillness for most is a very foreign concept, which in itself speaks volumes, as stillness is part of our very being.
i recently had a day where I got things done, but it is was spacious and laid back, and I could feel in myself a slight tension because i hadnt made much progress on my ‘to do’ list, and there was a feeling of disease at not being constantly on the go. I find this is the consequence of the ‘Got to’ attitude, is that it doesn’t allow us to enjoy space when it is there.
So true Rebecca… the ‘gotto’ attitude doesn’t allow us the space to enjoy anything because it is constantly driven, wanting and seeking more, always in the future or the past, and not simply in the present enjoying what is there to be enjoyed.
I agree – it is the perfect set up to never allow us to feel settled.
What you’ve shared is very familiar to me Rebecca and I can totally relate. I am very aware that some days I get myself into the ‘Gotto’ state and it creates a level of tension in my body. I can feel the tension distinctly but now it makes sense to me why I create this because the part you shared about ‘..the ‘Got to’ attitude, is that it doesn’t allow us to enjoy space when it is there.’ I realise this is what I am avoiding. I am not allowing myself to feel the spaciousness and I am not allowing myself to en-joy the spaciousness that is constantly on offer.
“Anxiety in fact was simply our body’s way of letting us know that we are not connected.” That’s a cracker of an understanding. Learning to reconnect, to be aware of and feel our bodies, are the simple inroads into addressing with anxiety.
‘The ‘gotto fish’ are driven by anxiety and nervous energy: a type of fuel that prizes movement over presence and switching off over connection. Even though they can get amazing amounts of work done, the reality is that living this way is draining’. How amazing that in ocean after ocean after ocean of ‘gotto fish’ one particular ‘universal fish’ comes along to show them all where the drive and anxiousness comes from and how to arrest it for a true way of living.
The Gotto fish, Todo Whale and Stressedour shark, they might swim about frantically but pretty soon they’ll be worn out. Truly they should just learn to go with the flow. Beautiful Joel.
Ha ha! Love the playful analogy here Joseph – the Stressadour shark is a serious predator for gathering as much stress and rush energy as possible, causing massive anxiety and mental health problems if allowed to continue unabated.
Very exposing of how I have used the distraction of all the ‘Gotto’s’ to keep myself in nervous anxiety and thus blocking the connection that supports me to swim through life.
Helen, I have been doing exactly the same. I realise I go into the ‘Gotto’ state all to avoid the connection and spaciousness that is available. I sometimes can feel this huge tension in my body and cannot always pinpoint exactly what is causing it. This blog and the many amazing comments have supported me to understand what is going on. This is such a timely blog to read and the healing this offers is huge.
“Nowadays, the only thing he ‘gotto’ to do is stay connected to himself. ” How refreshing. Instead of losing ourselves when we’re under pressure by saying ‘I’ve just got to do this’, we can instead say ‘I’ve gotta stay connected to myself’. How amazing to change our priority in this way.
Yes, from complexity to simplicity and everything will unfold from there.
With this adjustment it feels like we are opening ourselves up to feeling the amazing possibilities that are right before us.
‘Gotto’ fish I’m sure most of us if not everyone at some point in our lives has been there. That distraction of not feeling who we truly are by making it about what we do. Never feeling we are enough and what we do gives us the value of who we are. The Gentle Breath meditation as taught by Serge Benhayon offers us the tool for true connection and when we feel and live this by simply being it there is nothing else needed.
Gosh how the ‘gotto’ squirms when the truth and its simplicity are presented like this.
I can also be a Mindnotwithbody fish! Focusing on things that I am going to do when I am not yet doing them!
“Yet most are raised by other ‘gotto fish,’ so living in this way is so familiar and common that they never really see that anything is wrong.” Until we meet a Universal Fish who, just by the way he swims, suddenly exposes the ideal driven disconnection with which we have been choosing to live. An eye opening and mind-bending moment, but one that if we are willing to go there, instigates immensely powerful and evolutionary change.
The body’s way of communication is amazing to say the least. Any emotion such as anxiety we feel in our body is there to support and help us, an offering for us to look at what is running through our body and change our movements to loving ones.
And with that awareness I have begun to see how huge the shoal of gotto fish is and thus how important it is that those that are not living with that same level of anxiousness are out in the world; talking, meeting, moving, expressing; so that the shoal can see another way.
I am also what you could say a recovering Gotto fish that happened to come across the Universal fish at just about the right time, just before getting into some serious hot water that would have cooked me.
You crack me up Kevin – that’s hilarious. I guess most of us have played with the hot water, the point is did we learn from it or are we still cooking?
I feel like this ‘gotto’ stuff is also like a fuel that lets our body race on and seemingly perform. But it corrodes and toxifies our system and pretty soon burns out. And what we are left with is a written off engine where there could be a pumping, well oiled machine of Love.
The most important thing in any moment is connection, with ourselves, with whoever we are with, or whatever we are doing – everything else will still be there.
Love the analogy of the ‘gotto fish’ and the ‘universal fish’ Joel… underneath we are all universal fish, here to inspire one another.
Although the ‘gotto’ comes from an anxiety/nervousness, it also comes with a push, a drive and often a hardness, which greatly impacts our bodies.
“Just gotto do this or that…” is the perfect way to override our bodies messages, to keep going until we drop exhausted. What if we went ‘just gotto stop, rest and connect for a few minutes’ throughout our day … our days would transform – and so would our bodies.
Playing as a Gotto Fish is really is a game to avoid connection and responsibility.
It is clearly apparent that the number of people living with some form of anxiety accounts for much of society – much could be learnt from the message within this blog.
Awesome reminder that all I ‘gotto’ do is stay connected with myself because when I don’t, life is a struggle and it is like swimming against the current.
The life of the Gotto fish would be transformed if it lived by the philosophy that the only thing that it had to ‘gotto do’ was to re-connect to itself. It could then do everything that it was originally doing but in a completely different way. Connection is the missing key to life.
We wouldn’t even need to reconnect if we didn’t disconnect in the first place!
‘There is always something for them to do; there is always somewhere they need to be.’ – Haha, sounds like us, humanity.
“Nowadays, the only thing he ‘gotto’ to do is stay connected to himself.” – a surefire recipe to being a healthy fish.
Arh the created barrier of business around the ‘gotto’ fish serves the purpose of not letting life in. The problem being when we shut down from feeling / receiving what we may not want to feel, we shut down from feeling and receiving the depth of love that is on offer for us all as well.
It is never about changing the lane from the mind in focussing or in a forcing way, but saying Yes to the divine being that we all are. Then changing the lane to the middle one is an easy act. And chances are, that you will never want to change lanes back to the bumpy road again.
This metaphor cracks me up, but sometimes the best way to understand something really is by reducing it to it’s simplest form and presenting it in a different way.
It’s brilliant isn’t it? I love it too Susie. Being able to nominate the ‘gotto fish’ and present it in such a simple and playful way is absolute genius.
I agree. We have become so skilled at not hearing the truth, that it is often by presenting it in another very different way, that we finally ‘hear’ it.
I have tried to be good and tried to get it right all my life but I’ve been complicating things by having an image of what Good and Right look like. I am learning the simplest thing and in fact all I need to be doing is being me, feeling my body and allowing what I feel inside to dictate my next move.
Life is so simple when we honour our sensitivity and let what we feel be the guide.
Metaphors and stories can communicate great wisdom as this one has.
It is a true way of storytelling- as it offers evolution to everyone who reads it.
With too much gotto, life’s circumstances can then appear to gotcha.
Too much gotta is really grotty.
I love the effortless that arises from being connected to myself and from there the rest of life simply takes care of itself.
ha ha this is such a pertinent blog to read. About 4 months ago I caught myself telling my husband of all the things ‘I have got to do before xyz!’ and have disliked and caught the words coming our of my mouth way too often since. Since then it has been a steady relationship with the words and can see there is clearly a nervous energy involved whenever they come out of my mouth.
Joel, this is just beautiful, as someone who knows ‘gotta fish’ so well I love the understanding of why that is introduced here, that it’s about a connection to your self and once that is there, all else is taken care of. This will be with me in my days, and the way you’re presented it is simple and deeply profound, thank you.
I like the sound of the ‘Universal Fish!’ ‘…there was a twinkle in his eye and an ease to how he moved…’ Sounds like a wise dude to me!
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Yes, when Gotta fish raise other Gotto fish it soon becomes the norm. Thank heavens that Universal Medicine offers us a steady reflection of our true nature, breaking down and exposing our ideals and beliefs about how we have decided we need to be in life to get by.
I love the playfulness of this gotto fish and can so relate to it and it makes me smile to read the silliness of this when feeling the truth of who we are and choosing this against all the beauty inside and yet keep doing it but feeling the real sadness of this also.
A beautiful playful and very real analogy of what is really going on in life and the anxiety of disconnection we see in the world that is very prevalent. The connection to ourselves and the tools offered to us by the universal fish for us all to appreciate and live is a liquid gold for all to treasure of energy we can also choose.
The only thing we gotto do is stay with our stillness..beautiful thank you
The Universal Fish is at present a rare and precious species amongst us, but the Gotto Fish is simply a species that has digressed from the innate wisdom, harmony and grace that Universal Fish so gently and persistently reminds us we are all from.
As Gotto fish we are always ahead of ourselves, not present to appreciate the moment nor value what we are being given.
That´s very true Elaine. Not only are we on the bumpy lane with our car, but actually running in front of it and not looking right and left and seeing the beauty that always surrounds us.
That is a major difference, it seems most meditations are an escape or to hide from what is really going on, (how present is someone that has chanted themselves into a trance) but the gentle breath meditation certainly is the opposite of escape and keeps you present and completely in the moment and is guaranteed to help bring about a joyous way of living.
Wonderful blog Joel and what get me most in this moment is: “The interesting thing about life is that when you ask a question from this deeper place, life has a way of responding.” I love it how you describe it how life is always responding but did we really listening????
Good point, Ester…once we start to listen to the wisdom all of us have access to via our souls, the world will be a different place.
The ‘I gotto..’ is like a falling domino that falls into the next, then the next and next domino, keeping up the speed and momentum of the ‘doing’.
Others say “I am always so busy”. One day they are in traction but they still feel they are very busy and don’t have time for those visiting them.
Great reminder. There is nothing we got to do from the innermost, we just be.
I read this awesome blog out loud to my family and I now get reminders from them whenever I am being a ‘gotto fish’, we have a laugh about it and they enjoy pointing this out to me. It helps to be honest and open about it whenever I am feeling disconnected. I haven’t mastered being in connection consistently and this is a beautiful journey to be on as it unfolds and deepens.
‘…yet there was a twinkle in his eye and an ease to how he moved.’ This Universal Fish doesn’t have to speak, just his presence is enough for one to know there is another way – all confirmed in every move, every expression he makes.
Love your parting message, Joel – when we live in connection with our amazing selves, life takes care of itself. So true, we are not driven by anything, rather, we are impulsed from the love that we are.
Yes and those words are a good indicator that we are in ‘drive’ mode and not impulse mode at all! Subtle yet unsubtle…
This gotto group seems a close relative of the going-to tribe where they are always saying we are gunnna do this and where gunna do that but as with gotto’s “the reality is that living this way is draining.” They are always running around doing things but very rarely in the completion, thus in nervous energy, and this was because the next gunnna becomes the most important project. We all get to the point where we feel such a deep sense of loss that we ask; ”“Surely there is another way to be?” he asked from a place deep within.”
When asking we have to be open to the answer and as you have shared Joel; “The interesting thing about life is that when you ask a question from this deeper place, life has a way of responding.”
The thing is that at first when connecting through our Gentle Breath and relearning about our connection to our essence life will feel different and at times “it will feel bumpy” but this is part of the learning curve that brings us back to spherical-living. Our essence is “a way to find a place within that was deeper than the anxiety and nervousness.”
The Love of the feeling of our connection becomes so much more than any drive or going-to do this and got-to, to do that and eventually the “bumpy” bits are seen well ahead of time and avoided.
Thank you Joel, the best bedtime story yet. You have forever renamed and magicked up a visual for those moments where I just “gotto”, I can stop and reconsider, really? gotto?
‘Even though they can get amazing amounts of work done, the reality is that living this way is draining.’ – it’s exhausting and depletes the body. When we do rest we’re not having quality sleep as our body is being artificially ‘charged’ with all the sugar and caffeine we’ve been consuming to override feeling tired and just wanting to go to sleep. What a vicious cycle we have created and the worst part is, we ‘think’ this is ‘normal’ as we have made it to be so.
It’s very true, that the more gently but firmly consistent we are with anything that we do, the more consistent we feel within our selves. It supports us to build a true and lasting commitment on so many levels and eventually we are capable of so much more with much less effort and little or no anxiety or drive.
I have just moved house and it is interesting to see what comes up during this process. The ‘i just gotto do this/that/unpack this box/make the house look amazing etc…’ is very strong and I am sitting with it and can feel how tired I am as well. So it is a loving work in progress to be OK with mess with boxes of stuff in places and balance between resting and putting stuff away.
“The Gentle Breath MeditationTM was not a way of escaping life but building enough honesty and room in his body for the gentleness to grow …” And in the doing so, enables the Gotto Fish to begin to face all that we have attempted to swim away from. A powerful tool that empowers us to commit to life in full and to gradually erase our avoidance behaviours that keep us from our immense tenderness, beauty and wisdom.
“They can relax by switching off when they “Just gotto watch TV, just gotto catch up with a friend.” Looking back on the extended period of my life as a Gotto fish, I don’t think that I was able to truly relax when I was with friends or watching TV, despite the fact that I thought that I was. I had a permanent feeling of wanting/needing to ‘get on’ and so at best, these activities temporarily masked my symptoms but when I had finished doing them, I was like a greyhound out of a trap.
When we are ready to understand the deeper aspects of self and life, we will always find, or rather swim our way to the universal fish that supports us to reconnect to our innocence, which is a reconnection with our Soul and its living way.
The Gotto fish never arrives, they are always on their way somewhere.
Yes, always on their way somewhere, without actually being anywhere.
This ‘gotta do’ thing is so prevalent in our lives.. it’s not the doing that’s the issue by itself, but the way we do things – disconnected to our bodies and doing things for the sake of doing them- that causes harm. Why do we do things in this disconnected way, when it doesn’t feel that good? Usually because we’re wanting something in return, so it feels justified to override the body and do ‘whatever it takes’ at no matter what cost to the body, or because we’ve been in the disconnected doing for so long that it feels normal, and we can’t feel what we’re actually doing to ourselves on a deeper level. Eventually we get to feel that the highs and rewards of all the doing, don’t really do it for us, at all.. and then we become open to another, different way of living, with simplicity and connection at its foundation.
Same here Elizabeth, letting go of the anxiety and bringing in stillness has been life-changing.
Feeling quite exposed at the moment as I realise I am quite the Gotto fish. But having also met the Universal Fish I also realise it is a choice to be this and a choice to change it. Love the reflection Joel.
If we see anxiety as our body letting us know we are not connected, then we have a lot to thank the body for as it is always there to support us. Can we stop and be gentle enough to listen to what it is letting us know?
‘The ‘gotto fish’ are driven by anxiety and nervous energy: a type of fuel that prizes movement over presence and switching off over connection.’ It is that simple so why are there still so much ‘gotto fishes’ caught in this energy of got to do this, that till everything is ready and done and start all over again?
Ah, Joel, you have done it again…I love how you capture our human behaviours with such candor, that we cannot resist the profound lessons that unfold as we read on.
I agree Janet, this is a brilliant blog, having read this a few days ago, I have noticed how much I am aware of the ‘gotto fish’ energy kicking in throughout my day and I find it easier to now stop and change this momentum.
“Not only that, when he did become more still he would begin to feel things within that were both beautiful and unsettling.” This is so significant Joel, and so simply and clearly expressed. So many people can give the Gentle Breath Mediation a try but find the unsettling daunting. This probably comes from using it as a place to check out and find somewhere comfortable and blissful, whereas feeling that very unsettlement is the way to come to know the root cause of the anxiety in the first place. and so work through it.
The ‘gotto’ energy has ‘gotto’ go!
I often find myself saying that I “gotto do” this, that and the other things. It is a great way to bring stress into the body.
The waves from the Gotto fish can be very disturbing as that agitation and anxiety are felt in its waves. The Universal fishes waves have an inspiring and stilling effect.
I am so glad that the “Gotto fish” found his way to the Universal Fish, from there to the Gentle Breath Meditation and to another way of living, as living in the way he was, was simply propelling him towards a big stop moment in his life. There are so many ‘fish’ living just like him at this moment in time and I know for sure that the reflection from his new way of living can only but ripple out to those ready for a new way, a more enjoyable way to live.
We can be so absorbed in the ‘doing’ that we are totally unaware of the quality we are in – which always affects whatever we are doing.
The ‘gotto’ is such a prevalent excuse – a distraction from feeling what is truly going on in our bodies and in our lives.
It sure is Paula and the ‘gotto fish’ is very good at reacting to life and creating stress and anxiety. It seems to pollute the water wherever it goes, leaving a trail of mess. But if we choose to be like ‘Universal Fish’ everywhere we go, we clear the water and inspire others to reconnect to themselves and be responsible for what they leave behind.
As long as we swim with the shoal we can hide in the fact that this is what is expected and accepted.
mmmm well said Michael. Very true so does this mean we have made Gotto normal? Maybe it is time to gently change the flow of the shoal and hide no longer.
It is very useful to firstly understand that there are different energies that we can align to and secondly that we can discern through feeling in our bodies, which energy is passing through us and through everyone we meet. We can feel which one offers truth and which is harming.
‘Gotto Fish’ is a great playful and accurate summation of what it feels like for most of us to live. Driven, racy and mixing the term “purpose” with what they do and not who we are.
But the Gotto fish was not born the Gotto fish it was born the Justbe fish so what happened for the Justbe fish to unnaturally change to the Gotto Fish? Surely all the other fish in the sea have a responsibility for this as to what reflection the Justbe fish was getting for it to change into the Gotto fish!
I love it Vicky so true we are all born to ‘Justbe fish’ and with the support of ‘Universal Fish’ we become more connected to our ‘just be’ and reflect this to the ‘Gotto fish’.
I like your comment Vicky and the name ‘Just be fish’ and I agree, we are all responsible for how we are with ourselves, with each other and the state of our world.
A droplet of wisdom Vicky, where we end up is not our true essence at all. Just be in a quality we can return to and when we do we reflect to others a more natural way to live.
I agree Joel that connection is definitely one of the most important things we can maintain, and that staying connected to other people provides us with inspiration, ideas, support, an opportunity to share and a multitude of other things which enrich our life and mean it isn’t just about ‘doing’.
I have definitely been a ‘gotto’ girl. “I just gotto finish this before I can do this… I gotto finish everything before I can stop and rest.” The ”quality” I did everything in was from drive, nervous tension and anxiety which led to exhaustion. Slowing down, feeling the quality of presence is definitely a game changer.
Yes, the slowing down lets everything come up that is there. That can be love, truth or unpleasant old momentums which can then disperse.
Having read this blog yesterday morning I found myself in a ‘gotto fish’ moment later in the day. It was great because I remembered this blog and clocked it. A very useful new tool. Thank you.
Same here Rebecca, this happened to me too but it was my family who pointed out to me that I was being a ‘gotto fish’. This blog supports me to be so much more aware of when I go into the ‘gotto fish’ state and I can pull myself out of it, stop and reconnect.
Anxiousness and using nervous energy are so ‘normal’ nowadays. In general we are used to living without connection to ourself and yet we hugely miss the connection to ourselves and the grander whole we are part of. When Serge Benhayon comes along and presents and reflects the way back we come a step closer to living as the amazing beings we actually are.
So many gems in this amazing analogy but this one is gold and has the power to transform the mental health industry ‘Anxiety in fact was simply our body’s way of letting us know that we are not connected.’ The question is who has a vested interest in keeping us all disconnected?
Anxiety is the fuel of the lost.
…. and guaranteed exhaustion – if unaddressed, rapidly leading to overwhelm and giving up.
Very true Shirley-Anne and a fascinating thing when we relate it to swimming the more we flap about and splash even though it may look like we are putting more effort in we are actually creating more resistance in the water and so going slower.
Don’t we like to justify our ‘gotto’s’! We can come up with all sorts of justifications but when we do what if we stopped for a moment to ask ourselves ‘do I really need to do this right now?’ ‘why do I need to do this right now?’ – ‘what am I avoiding in this moment?’ The repetitive cycle keeps coming round until the time comes when we stop the gotto and say yes to that which is being asked of us eg. to deepen the love in relationship to ourselves and therefore towards another.
Caroline these are questions I’m asking too. They really do provide a space to check-in and can catch what the tendency is to launch into the next ‘gotto’
It is so often the case that we wait until our current ill way of living causes a problem which forces us to stop before we look for or seek alternatives and ask ourselves what is really going on. Great that are those who have now made such decisions, inspired by the ‘universal fish’ that they are returning to being ‘universal fish’ too so will also inspire others to realise the changes possible without needing to get to a crisis first.
“Anxiety in fact was simply our body’s way of letting us know that we are not connected” – love the simplicity of this [truth], and I know for myself that a way to reduce those anxious moments is to breathe gently through the tip of my nose [as taught by The Gentle Breath Meditation], and I can feel myself coming back to myself after about ten gentle breaths where afterwards I feel far more inside my body and settled, no longer anxious.
Joel, this is really interesting; “I’ve just ‘gotto’ do something for work” one would say before running off from his wife and children.’ I can feel that sometimes with my son and partner that I rush off to do things and think that I can’t stop, when in fact making time for these connections is super important and the endless list of things to get done can wait, so taking time to connect and play feels important.
That ‘gotto’ attitude takes us in a rush state that makes us think that stopping for a moment is not productive, while the most productive thing is stopping anytime we need to be sure we are connected. Actually with connection everything flows really smoothly. It allows us to observe what and how we do things without attachments or investments and this lightens any activity, freeing it from effort and allowing joy come to it.
That ‘gotto’ attitude takes us in a rush state that makes us think that stopping for a moment is not productive, while the most productive thing is stopping anytime we need to be sure we are connected. Actually with connection everything flows really smoothly. It allows us to observe what and how we do things without attachments or investments and this lightens any activity, freeing it from effort and allowing joy come to it.
I agree with you Rebecca how we can rush around in that rush to get things done which is an excuse to avoid the intimacy we can otherwise have with our friends, family and work colleagues.
Being aware of how we distract ourselves away from the truly important is a first step. The stop to question why equally so.
We can stop and sigh with relief or pause for a moment and connect with ourselves. Could one be stepping outside of life and the other checking our bearing’s on our journey?
I was totally unaware that I ran on anxiety or nervous energy to get things done and would strongly deny it until getting honest and seeing how much sense that made. Carrying on like that is exhausting and not how we are designed to be. I was the sort of fish that had to meet someone at the pub, for some reason everything I could possibly need I could get at that pub from builders to carpet layers, any sort of appliance and of course what ever it took to numb me out more to the fact that there was another way to be.
On the one hand this is a very entertaining way of looking at things… on the other it’s a scarily accurate account of how things have been lived by the ‘gotto fish’ and so disconcerting and a little sad to see it all written down in black and white. However, the conclusion is both clear and simple – so big thanks Joel. As incisive as ever.
I love this blog, a great reminder at the right time. I have been a “gotto” fish for most of my life and at times still find it difficult to let go and stop. But slowly I have come to realise that the more I chase more work the more is coming my way.
Now, I have the awareness to observe and choose otherwise.
When we “are driven by anxiety and nervous energy” our reality is less than being responsible about re-incarnation. Not understanding re-incarnation is a fishy tale that has developed because of the lie that we ‘eat we s..t and we get eaten.’ There is never the understanding within our “got-to”-mates that when we are here to be of service to all the fishes, we can all evolve in-to our next incarnation. This is our evolutionary path to get out of the watery grave-yard so we can re-connect to a deeper “stillness” that will takes us back to our divine “energy”! So swim-gently then others can see and feel a different vibration and that is everything that is needed to serve, so ‘on-a-plate’ takes on a whole new meaning as a deeper part of evolution and serving for the greater good of all fish.
In similar waters to these Gottos live the Mission Fish – calmer and peaceful on the outside yet completely driven ‘to get there’ – yet all they are doing is swimming around and around chasing their own tail and going nowhere.
Your writing Joel is full of wisdom and to read it it’s like medicine and healing for my body. I’ve been a big ‘gotto’ fish throughout my life, raised in a family of ‘gotto’ fish. Once I realised that this way of living was causing me great anxiety and nervousness, I started with the gentle breath meditation and in my mind I thought myself to be so lazy and unproductive. It shows how much we can value ourselves from what we do rather then who we are. Reading this couldn’t come at a better time. Thanks Joel for delivering this!
Yes, Aimee, valuing ourselves by what we do rather than who we are is the greatest harm of all because we are denaturing ourselves and denying our innate grandness.
Amazingly joyful and playful blog with a very powerful message – I’m certainly asking myself the question, ‘how am I swimming today’ 🙂
Yes, this is a reminder I shall be asking myself daily too Alison! Have I really Gotto or simply ‘not gotto’……
In the frenzy of ‘got to’, there is no chance to be with ourselves or really be with others – it keeps us on the hamster wheel.
Lovely blog Joel with a great message that is applicable to everyone who has ever felt that pressure and push to keep on doing in every day life. Thank you.
I too know this Gotto fish very well, a fish that has very short vision, only seeing what tasks it’s Gotto to do. Thank goodness for the Universal fish that shows how to swim in stillness void of such anxiousness.
Amazing, I can so relate to this. I’ve beem raised in a family of gotto fish, so it was totally normal to keep on going and I did, despite my exhaustion try to keep on going, from one thing to the next. I actually could not believe the difference I felt in my body after my first chakra puncture session because I felt stillness that was so unfamiliar to me and yet I knew it was normal, how my body could feel and it made me realise just how much I’d been putting up with. Now, today I felt anxiety come in for a short while and I called a friend because it felt so abnormal.
From a recovering ex-gotta fish, who swims more with the Universal Fish but can lapse into the world of gotto fish land, I gotta say 🙂 that swimming in the Universal Fish land is 10x’s better than swimming in gotta fish land. Which begs the question – why do I go back to swim in gotta-fish land from time to time? A good one to ponder..
This is the true power of connection what can be our moving source in life.
The more focussed we are on what we are doing, the less attention is paid to how we are doing it.
‘His relationships suffered because there was no way of having a conversation that didn’t start from this point of anxiety.’ I’m realising how much I have and can still do this, especially at work. It can’t be nice to have anxiety come at you even in the name of earnestness and wanting to do a good job, or ‘right by people’. There isn’t a justification for bypassing the person before me to get what I want.
I know I’ve been working on this but there is still a skipping over being fully present with the person I’m with to get to my question. I may pause a wee while before launching into getting my needs met -whether that’s in the form of needing information or decisions made so I can act and plan ahead – but so much opportunity to be really present is lost. When people come at me this way it can feel full-on even when I’m understanding of their predicament, though I’m learning that the more settled I am the more they can return to their own equilibrium. There is far greater wisdom in this presence than any doing in the anxiety can muster – far wiser choices are made and understood. I’m really going to focus on presence in work and appreciate the decisions made from it and I have no doubt the anxiety based actions will be exposed for the complications they create. Lots may get done but needlessly so!
I can certainly relate to the gotto fish – how gorgeous to let go of the ‘gotto’ and just be a fish!
From another who knows all too well the anxiousness of the ‘gotto’ lifestyle, living in connection to the quality of stillness within is everything and so much more than anything and everything that I ever believed and told myself that I just ‘gotto’ do first. As being governed by the quality of this connection to our Soul is always in honor and a confirmation of all that we already are, in which there is always more revealed of the wondrousness and power that can be lived naturally.
Yes connection is not bliss or attempted will power, connection is a surrender and honouring of the body and this is simply what this meditation technique offers “The Gentle Breath MeditationTM was not a way of escaping life but building enough honesty and room in his body for the gentleness to grow.“ I love how you describe it and this has been my experience.
How wonderful is life and how loving is God, that when you ask a question from deep within there is a response. Doesn’t mean we always see it or listen to it, but it is usually provided also in symbology or numbers.
I love the analogy of the driving on the bumpy edge of a road being a sign of us moving away from our natural stillness and settlement, Joel. Also, considering living in a way that my main concern is staying connected with my body and allowing it to guide me thereafter feels incredibly liberating and takes a lot of the pressure off that I and others place on ourselves to live up to certain pictures and expectations of how and what our lives should look like.
I know this feeling so well.. this wanting to just do something – a way of stuffing down a tension that i can feel but don’t want to deal with. The gentle breath meditation and esoteric yoga have been brilliant tools in helping me feel more deeply, to let go of everything in the way of that and to feel quite clearly that anxiety is a surface emotion that is only there when I allow it to be and am perpetuating it with my thoughts.
Thank God for ‘Universal Fish’ and the reflection they offer those so convinced that they must be something different.
Such an important question: “Surely there is another way to be?” Until the moment we ask this we in effect remain resigned to the confines of our own blind spots.
It is interesting how we feel we ‘gotta fish’ but deep down inside we know that the bait we are using time and time is leading us towards more and more fishing – sounds like exhaustion with a capital E!
I grew up with the ‘gotta fish’ motto and believed that drive was the ‘normal’. When I met the Universal Fish I realised that this was far from normal!
“the only thing he ‘gotto’ to do is stay connected to himself…” Yes, this really is the ‘Grand-daddy of responsibility’ that we actually have ‘to do’. And emphasis is most definitely on the ‘Grand’
I admire how the ‘gotto fish’ came across the Universal fish, and the Universal fish knew all that was needed to know. It gives you an order to life in knowing there is always a Universal Fish in our generation to teach and guide us.
I love this blog Joel, it speaks to me of simplicity, wisdom and common sense. If I live like a “gotta fish”, head down, going from one task to another without pause, chasing my tail, and thinking of all the “what to do nexts”, no wonder there is panic and anxiety. We take the whole responsibility for the doing on our own shoulders (hence the tight muscles there and the hardening of the chest), and this separates us not only from ourselves but all that supports us. It is lonely, and we cannot feel the ocean around us which supports us all the time. Pause, and we feel the space, feel, and we know from inside us what to do next, listen to our bodies and we feel the pulse and rhythm of the universe of the ocean, and then we know where we are and who we are.
Hmmm I know this Gotto Fish a little too well and Gotto’s anxiousness too. Thanks for sharing on Gotto, It’s always enlightening when a relatable perspective is shared by another. It’s certainly got me wondering.
This is a hilarious and brilliantly crafted play on how we sometimes live in an unnecessary state of anxiety and stress, thank you Joel!
It sure is Susie, I love how Joel brings light heartedness and humour to subjects we can so often get very serious about and caught up in.
And the ‘gotto’ fish realised that isn’t his real breed but in truth underneath he is a Universal fish too, just as we all are in origin 😉
A great analogy, Joel, I can so relate to the Gotto Fish, because that has been me and still is at times – I’ve always found it hard to sit still, living totally on nervous energy stimulated by coffee or sugary foods. I recall long haul flights where I was up and down all the time, totally restless because I can’t sleep on planes. One flight I was careful not to eat any stimulating foods for two months beforehand, and during the flight I didn’t watch any of the films, and I was able to sit still for hours. The Gentle Breath Meditation is great for reminding us to breathe gently all the time and it is a great way to reconnect.
Wow, brilliant blog Joel, I love it. I remember asking the same question about life from deep within and like you, life presented me with the answers, I embraced them and I haven’t looked back.
It is so true that as you ask the deeper questions in life, life has a way of beautifully responding back. In fact life is always offering us opportunities to learn, deepen and grow. It is just that humanity has this clever way of ignoring and remaining numb to the fact.
Thanks Joel – I love the way you present so simply trials or issues we all come up against and the choices you have made to get past them. It makes so much sense that if we first connect and allow ourselves to feel all that we already are – there is no longer an overwhelming need to rush out, to grab onto a “gotto”.
Classic brilliant writing from Joel – easy to read, relatable and funny. What’s not to love? Oh wait, a great message offering us other Gotto Fish the option to slooow down and to check your breath. Very much needed for this fish this morning after a quick dash to catch my train!
Ha, we know when we get caught in ‘gotto’ mode, Joel. There is a drive pushing that feels hard and forceful, compared to allowing the flow to wash us gently along in whatever direction is felt to be true.
Very sweet story. Yes, there are many ‘Gotto Fishes’ swimming through the ocean of life. I know I can still fall into this energy. When I do not have time to connect to myself or others I know I am way off track.
Finding another way to move through life is a choice that offers us an opportunity to stop & reflect on the ill momentum that have collectively created; our every day go to.
In life we make choices we do not realize we make, and we call these choices, us. The problem is not just that. We have an image of making a choice is all about and we do not realize that there is one choice that opens up the window for other choices to follow: how we move. We believe that we simply move and that this is us… moving, and that is the biggest trick ever.
The realisation that it’s quite simple – a choice between one underlying energy or the other certainly simplifies things, and should make it so much more obvious which one we are running with.
Fabulous, Joel. Thank you for a great start to the day.
I love the simple message here that all we have to do is stay connected to ourselves and all will be taken care of. Life can be that simple, it is when we are in our heads that life gets complicated and the ‘gotta do’ mentality kicks in.
Thanks heaven – literally – for the Universal Fish. Beautiful post Joel, thankyou.
Indeed – and important to remind ourselves that we can all be the Universal Fish for each other, it’s up to us to activate the potential we hold within and allow the wisdom that is there for us all to flow through us.
And the fish because they had to be asking for an understanding about why are we swimming in circles or was it cycles that was realised and asked about? Possibly is the ocean a flat?
Joel, this is a beautiful illustration of life as a ‘Gotto Fish’. Earlier in my life It would have helped to have understood this “Anxiety in fact was simply our body’s way of letting us know that we are not connected”
Yes I loved reading that and it really helped me understand why I felt so much anxiety today. It wasn’t anything going on outside of me it was simply my choice to disconnect.
Yes Kehinde it is great to know that anxiety is a marker we can use to help us know whether we are connected or not. This puts a very different perspective on it.
‘Nowadays, the only thing he ‘gotto’ to do is stay connected to himself. He’s not mastered it yet, but when he stays connected to this, the rest of life takes care of itself and anxiousness is no longer what drives him.’ Thank heavens for the ‘Universal Fish’ for now there is a whole shoal relearning how to connect and is swimming life another way.
“Nowadays, the only thing he ‘gotto’ to do is stay connected to himself. He’s not mastered it yet, but when he stays connected to this, the rest of life takes care of itself and anxiousness is no longer what drives him.”
The Gentle Breath Mediations offer the opportunity for life-changing, simple stop moments to re-connect within and naturally to be in alignment with the universal rhythms and cycles once more. There are several ‘inspiring’ (pun intended) free audios to enjoy, available on this link – http://www.unimedliving.com/meditation/free
This ‘gotto fish’ is no longer a ‘gotto fish’ either due to also to meeting the Universal Fish and the Gentle Breath MeditationTM and in doing so it feels like one is in a different ocean yet this is not the case – change oneself and one’s world changes.
Joel I love your analogies thank you for sharing another one. The ‘Got-to’ scenario is something I am and we all are very familiar with. But when we turn this on its head and make it all about connection 1st and foremost then we do what needs to be done without the drive and pressure to do it, so quality becomes key rather than output, even though when you are connected generally as I have found my output increases without trying.
Another brilliant blog Joel Levin. There is much to appreciate in the exposing of the ‘gotto fish’ in action during our daily life – a marker and red flag reminder that nervous energy is running the body and a ‘stop moment’ is needed. Simply a moment of surrendering, re-connecting and re-uniting with the innermost essence and thus re-storing a harmonious rhythm and flow to our movement.
“The Universal Fish explained to him that connection was first and foremost an energetic connection. Anxiety in fact was simply our body’s way of letting us know that we are not connected”.
This is a great read Joel because it has supported me to understand that there is still a part of me that goes into the just ‘gotto’ now when this happens I’m sure your blog will support me to stop for a moment and ask myself what is it I’m avoiding.
This blog has been a healing in itself, a tool to try when ‘gotto’ creeps in. I can feel for me that ‘Gotto’ isolates, it takes me further from my connection and further from connecting with others.
“that we only become anxious or use nervous energy as a form of fuel when we lack one thing… connection to ourselves.”
Not only are these very wise words they are also from my own experience very true. To me it is very beautiful when I feel the connection to myself and it feels so precious I do not want to harm this connection at all but to deeply cherish it.
Joel, you are a master of the true allegorical tale. Thank you for yet another gem.
Joel, I just ADORE this story and every inch of its wisdom about life, living, connection and energy. To me you are the ultimate universal writer/storyteller of truth through simple and joy-full understanding.
I am in wholehearted agreement with you Zofia – Joel Levin is “the ultimate universal writer/storyteller of truth through simple and joy-full understanding”.
Joel thank you for a stunning and enjoyable blog to read, I love what you have shared here in all its simplicity. Like you I was very much a Gotto do kinda fish and with time as I’ve also let go of that anxiety I’ve become a fish that can move with stillness, when that becomes too much – too much truth I sometimes go into the gotto rush but overall having seen other fish swim in stillness it’s inspired me to deeply change my movements.
Creation Sharks love eating Gotto fish – so incredibly easy to catch and devour – all swimming in exactly the same direction so super easy to predict, eyes fixed forward so super easy to deceive and utterly sel-fish so never look out for each other. Creation Sharks are very fat!
Love this Otto! Gotto fish are so predictable because they have blinkered their vision to just what they want – easy pickings for the Creation Sharks!
Yeah. But those Creation Sharks are no better off – gorging on creation; their bodies are numbed and blind to the true nourishment of co-creation.
Ha ha, that would make a great children’s story ottobathurst, for children of all ages. It takes a lot of energy to swim against the tide.
I love your expression “children of all ages’. At the age of 47, I am still parenting myself as well as still learning from multiple very special mother and father figures in my life.
Fanatastic blog Joel. When we do ask a question we get a response and here it is – your blog! I have been pondering recently when I feel I have got to do something. It became very clear to me yesterday when I could feel I was being asked to do something but avoided it with “I have got to do this” taking myself in the opposite direction to do it, yet ironically, I didn’t have to do it! Boy did it create a mess from there on! Becoming more aware of moments like these and the impact they have not just on myself but on those around me create markers in my body that next time round I am more likely to listen to. The messages become even more loud and clear the more aware I am, that to avoid connection in that moment would feel even more uncomfortable than previously, continuing to build on the love in the relationship to self.
Joel, this is a great article thank you. This is super interesting and really helpful; ‘ Anxiety in fact was simply our body’s way of letting us know that we are not connected’.
‘The ‘gotto fish’ are driven by anxiety and nervous energy: a type of fuel that prizes movement over presence and switching off over connection.’ – how crazy is it that we have allowed this modus operandi to become our norm, when in truth we crave the complete opposite, presence and connection, which is our natural way of being.
What a beautiful blog, thank you Joel. Love the way you playfully explore a condition that is crippling us as a society.
I know that this Gotto fish would have been surrounded by oceans of other Gotto fish and I know that fish can often just find it easier to go with the shoal, so I have gigantic admiration for this particular Gotto fish for having the strength, courage and innate wisdom to move in a different way. I also have boundless love and appreciation of the Universal fish who taught and supported this Gotto fish, for I know that without the Universal fish, this Gotto fish (and many other now-ex-Gotto Fish) would still be swimming with the enormous shoal of other Gotto fishes.
Love your expression of appreciation, Otto. So true, it takes courage and a belief in yourself and what you feel to be true to change course in life when everyone else is going another way, yet, it only takes one fish to change direction for the whole shoal to follow.
One fish swimming the opposite way to the shoal is hugely noticeable and sticks out enormously. All the other fish will notice it…and thus they then have a choice.
The Gentle Breath Meditation is a simple tool to pause and check our connection to our self, and it becomes our sextant for navigating life.
So exquisitely put Joel and having been a “Gotto Fish” too, can completely relate to what is written. What a grace it is to meet “Universal Fish” Serge Benhayon, who is empowering so many “Gotto’s” to re-connect to our spacious grace and swim through life in connection to our immensely tender essence, a God given gift within us all.
Reading this has made me look at how and where I still swim as a gotto fish and know that it is only a choice to stop swimming that way but that choice does take work and practice so the idea is to keep going with it and eventually be more universal.
A very beautiful article, one that very simple breakdowns anxiety and offers that there is another way.
I enjoyed reading this article so much Joel and certainly can relate to once being a “gotto fish”. It’s true, when you are running with that pattern it requires a deep level of honesty to get out of it which sometimes requires an illness/disease or accident to bring us to a space where we are prepared to look at how we are living.
It is a golden statement that you bring our awareness to the fact that it is anxious, that is the fuel -the energy- that moves the body, and then we get “movement over presence”. Introduce body connection – presence – and this puts the spanner in the wheel of anxiety driven behaviour.
I haven’t really found that, when I move in Gotto fish behaviour, that I get an amazing amount of work done. Quite on the contrary, I make a lot of mistakes and have to re-trace my steps often. But when I am connected with myself, then I get an amazing lot of quality work done and it’s great fun at the same time.
Something else to do, somewhere else to be – this is a classic. We say and act we don’t know any other way, but I am pretty sure we do. And what is so cool is that the Universal Fish does know this game too but there’s no judgment, and he keeps showing how he swims – not so that we get good at it and become comfortable in this water.
And of course that fish can be any human being in the world.
‘Gottoing’ leaves you filleted and deep fried instead of swimming freely with your s(ch)oul.
When the ‘body comes to a rest, something kicks in that either requires a complete switch off or the next ‘gotto’ task to be completed.’ Even questioning this ‘something’ and being aware that it is there and does not actually need to be the normal, it definitely is not a natural and surrendered way to be, is a great start to allowing ourselves to make a different choice. If we do not question our lives, our patterns, how our bodies feel and let our bodies and life be something through what they are reflecting, to tell us how things really are then we will never be open to change until perhaps our body brings us to a complete stop with an illness or the like.
Another gorgeous blog with the beautiful philosophical story like flavour while presenting a very important message, love what you bring here Joel.
A great article Joel in its simplicity and truth. From one who no longer is a gotta fish. 😊 (well mostly)
Hi Joel, love this – the ‘Gotto’ fish found simplicity. It is so simple being connected to my breath and moving through all other elements of my life, my energy levels have changed, my joy and being in purpose has increased and my relationships are blossoming. Who would have thought that being with me would mean that more would get done with a deeper quality than ever before.
What a great modern fable with an ancient theme that explains so much about the way things are and the way they can be when connection is our first gotto.
“He learnt that the issues he had been running from for much of his life were driving his anxiousness…” So true … when we don’t deal with the reasons why we do things, we are like a mouse on a wheel – frantically running around, which is draining and exhausting. Bring honesty to the table, take responsibility for our choices and behaviours, and our lives transform.
This blog is a masterpiece as it really simplifies any problems we may have with anxiety.
This way of life is so prevalent, being “… driven by anxiety and nervous energy: a type of fuel that prizes movement over presence and switching off over connection.” Anxiety and nervousness are common ways of functioning in the world today – stimulation is prized as the way to be – fuelled by coffee and sugar… and if you aren’t living this way there is something weird about you or comments such as “you’re always so calm” come your way, often with an energy of disapproval/jealousy, because that is wanted but not lived by another… and yet our bodies innately and naturally know gentleness and stillness – it is only a matter of connecting.
I have met this Universal Fish of which you speak Joel and he taught me a valuable lesson in life and that was how to observe the world without absorbing it. In this way we learn how to be in a world of energy that is in ceaseless movement but not get caught up in the excess motion of others (the ‘gotto fish’).
When we live life connected to ourselves, we carry the still water with us and this has an affect on the body of water that is still in restless motion. Furthermore, once you have experienced the clarity of still water, it is very hard to go back to gulping in the muddied one.
How beautiful to swim through the oceans of life in stillness – you can feel the difference in the quality of movement and how far, wide and gracefully the ripples of stillness spread.
All your gotto fish seemed to preface their gotto with a just… just gotta…. a justification which already reveals the anxiety and lack of ease you speak of.
Whilst reading the beginning of your article Joel, I was reminded of the agitation that I used to live with constantly. This agitation was characterised by a feeling of always needing to ‘get on’, which resulted in permanent restlessness and anxiety. Thankfully those feelings have, for the most part gone, thanks to the practice of connecting to my body. It’s quite incredible really how we don’t need to do much more than re-connect to our bodies and our bodies will take care of the rest.
A sublime sharing Joel, one that is able to energetically convey the feeling of stillness.
I think I am the female version of this fish 🙂 And whilst I have allowed a lot more connection to me over the past few years, yesterday I was in ‘gotto’ mode and it does not feel so great in the body. A feeling of being wound up, tightly like a spring, A lovely reminder today that connection is the key.
The beauty about moving in connection with oneself is that one can be fully in life, participating, and yet not get drawn into the drive and emotion that is buzzing all about.
What a fun read Joel, and may I add that if I understand the “gotto” or perhaps the ‘got-to’ way of existence has got us tied-in-knots as we continuously swim against the tide so is it any wonder we are anxious and always tired?
Beauty-full Joel !
Your text says it all And In such an easy And playful way
Love it 🌺
Gold Joel – a pleasure as always to read how you express. But this is very familiar. The fact we so easily get caught up in a moment controlled by what is happening outside ourselves rather than allowing what we know to be true
I absolutely agree: ‘The ‘gotto fish’ are driven by anxiety and nervous energy: a type of fuel that prizes movement over presence and switching off over connection. Even though they can get amazing amounts of work done, the reality is that living this way is draining.’ Plus the quality in which the work is done is not what you want it to be. When the result is more important than the way you achieved it, it is the complete opposite of the truth: you and your quality first and the result will follow.
Love it, Joel! Connection to yourself and your body is the key to it all, from there we can connect to our Soul and there is not gotto, but many impulses to act upon with a knowing of what to do when.
I have often been told I cannot sit still – jumping up and always needing to do things, and I can second the fact that this often comes from nervous tension, an inability to sit still and be with myself. In the world we are often encouraged to be constantly going and doing, rather than seeking repose and stillness.
One thing to say …. When is the book coming?
Love this blog. Perhaps always having to do something makes the perfect excuse not to stop and feel what’s really happening.