I have been overweight most of my adult life, but since changing my diet to gluten and dairy free pretty much all of that excess weight dropped away over a period of five years, and stayed off for a further seven. I worked to kick sugar too, and mostly succeeded, and more weight dropped off. But recently I’ve been eating more sugary foods (including carbohydrates and dried fruits, which are all sugar in one form or another) and have started to put some weight back on.
I always know that when I crave sweet things it means I am exhausted or feeling low for some reason and if not addressed, can lead to a mild form of depression. The trouble with eating sugar is that it gives you a lift and then drops you down even lower, so there is a cycle of feeling low, eating sugar, a moment of feeling OK then a crash back down to feeling low again. We can get into a cycle we think we can’t get out of and fall into despair.
The antidote is to be totally honest with how the body is feeling because then we can choose to look after our bodies through self-loving choices. I know that for me, when I truly love myself I naturally don’t want to eat anything containing sugar – which can also include fresh fruit – because it makes me racy and I can’t feel what’s going on around me.
Question: But how can I love myself when I feel miserable?
Answer: Awareness and Understanding.
I have the awareness that there is a certain tension in my body that I really don’t want to feel and an understanding that overeating has been my ‘go-to’ numbing device, but it’s no longer working. All I do is eat more and more sugary foods with a kind of desperate addictive behaviour. My body is warning me it’s too much because I am putting extra weight back on, so I know that I need to bring myself back to me – to re-establish my inner connection.
Thanks to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, we have been provided with many tools and techniques for bringing ourselves back into balance and one of them is the quality of our movements.
How are movements connected to being self-loving?
Our bodies are systems of delicate balance, yet we tend to treat them hard and rough even though they are really very fragile. By being especially gentle and tender in my walk, my touch, my breath, I am taking more care of my body, and that is the start to being self-loving through our movements.
When I move my hands with tenderness my whole body feels different: for example, when turning a doorknob, I have to allow my hand, my wrist and my shoulder to be gentle, which affects my back, my hips and my legs too.
Getting into a car is a challenge, especially when the seats have high sides. I do it as gracefully as I can and then close the door firmly, but not slamming it.
My voice is an obvious one because when I am racy it tends to go a bit hard, so I breathe gently and that helps to take out the hard edge.
There are many examples of ways I can be tender, and I can really feel it when other people are not being tender. For example, one I’ve particularly noticed is in ladies’ toilets – the way I hear some women attack the toilet roll or the paper towels makes me smile. It is something we do every day without thinking and that’s the point… when we do anything without conscious presence, we are not being tender.
So, coming back to the title of this piece, the way for me to feel less misery is to enjoy moments of tenderness with myself, because my body is beautiful and it feels beautiful when it is being tender: there is a stillness inside that does not allow for misery, and that stillness is shattered by anything that makes me racy. So… if I want to let go of misery, and enjoy the inner stillness, I simply have to breathe gently and move with tenderness. No sugar needed!
By Carmel Reid, Northern Rivers, Australia
Related Reading:
Are we Consuming Sugar or is Sugar Consuming us?
Quality of Movement = Quality of Life
The Dieting Misery-Go-Round
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
Carmel what you have shared is truly amazing, I can also attest to your sharing that in my mid 60’s I am very fit, so fit that my fit app has my age as 5 years younger! how about that. I have really found that ‘Move fit’ which are a set of exercise programs for all ages is extremely supportive. I feel more alive now than I did in my 30′ and 40’s. Listening to my body has been the biggest support too because I have learnt the hard way it actually does know best. Irrespective of what my mind tries to tell me.
Thank you Carmel. The simplicity and openness of you sharing this is very impactful. And practical too. Inspired by having just read this article, my attention is on my finger tips and there is a sense of delicacy and sweetness that feels very amazing in my body. I know too from much experimentation that no amount of sugar comes close to this feeling of awareness and settlement.
This is a timely blog to read. Sugar and certain foods is the last thing to go for me, in that I turn to it not always because I’m exhausted but because I don’t want to feel the joy that I am. Because the artificial sugar or taste, which is stimulating, gives you that instant hit. Whist the joy that comes from within, is an ever lasting, universal feeling, that only loves everything and everyone.
I know with consistency, commitment and responsibility, that joy will be forth. Whilst the artificial stimulant and tastes will be made nought…
I have come to understand Shushila that there are two energies running my body, unfortunately I have been using the wrong energy. This other energy is like the devil that sits on my shoulder cajoling me to eat either sugary substances which stops me from reading life, or suggests, if I won’t eat sugar how about some salt? Salt I have discovered is an as-sault, There’s a pun there! So that I protect and harden myself because I’m fed that I cannot cope with life which I haven’t read because I ate too much sugar, so I now feel life is too difficult and what’s the point anyway. Stop eating sugar and I can instantly read life, as in fact we all can and because I can read life, I do not need the Salt which gave me a false sense of protection anyway. Has anyone noticed that now we eat salt and sugar together, what a dire combination for our Bodies, but we don’t seem to care.
Carmel, this is a recipe offered by you that seems too simple, and yet I too know its power. And at the same time, I forget…. or I choose to forget sometimes to surrender to this stillness and enjoy the warmth and beauty that it has to offer: “the way for me to feel less misery is to enjoy moments of tenderness with myself, because my body is beautiful and it feels beautiful when it is being tender: there is a stillness inside that does not allow for misery, and that stillness is shattered by anything that makes me racy. So… if I want to let go of misery, and enjoy the inner stillness, I simply have to breathe gently and move with tenderness.”
That inner stillness is an amazing place and pace to be in. Once we are in there, there could be a tsunami, a tornado or everything ferrel that is around you, and aren’t affected or phased by it.
Shushila I am just starting to feel that inner stillness you mention, and how life is set up for us not to feel it. Life is modelled so that we look outside of ourselves for acceptance and recognition of who we are. We have manufactured food so that it numbs our bodies so that we cannot feel. Our lives are set up in such a way that we do not have any time to stop and feel our surroundings. All this is deliberate as it stops us from feeling the stillness within. When the lie of how we live and the damage it does to our bodies and mental health is exposed then we can reconnect back to the stillness and it is such a beautiful place to be because as you say it doesn’t matter what is going on somehow it doesn’t impact our bodies. We do know this stillness, it is coming back to something so familiar.
It is very inspiring to hear people talk about stillness. And the fact that it is within us all. I can feel it when I give myself the space to do so and from others sharing I realise the depth of settlement that is there that stands us so sure and steady whatever life throws our way.
How to start to be self loving requires such simple steps that anyone of us can choose to do: “By being especially gentle and tender in my walk, my touch, my breath, I am taking more care of my body, and that is the start to being self-loving through our movements.” – thank you Carmel once again for making it so real, practical and simple.
Carmel – These are such super wise words: “The antidote is to be totally honest with how the body is feeling because then we can choose to look after our bodies through self-loving choices.” we can try to convince ourselves with words to stop something, but in the end it is the body and how it feels that holds the final and lasting say.
I wonder if there is more going on here than we care to admit. Is it possible that there is an energy running our bodies that do not want our bodies to feel or have any connection to our innate stillness? If we connect back to the stillness that naturally resides within us; then this energy has no hold over us. So this energy that runs our bodies keeps us craving foods and drinks that race our bodies and so avoids at all costs any stillness or chance of settlement. So who or what is controlling our body?
When we are not consciously present in our bodies, do we allow another energy to come in and fill the space?
Adding to what you have shared Carmel and that is when we become sugar free then have some sugary food then we can be up at-least 3 or 4 times in the night to eliminate the sugars from our system.
We are not victims of misery, we are in control of it. Which is not a pleasant truth if you want to be miserable and give up because that seemingly takes little effort. But thats a lie cause it takes a lot of effort and energy to be miserable! It does drain us whereas being gentle and tender and sweet does not drain us.
Ah! You are a sweet heart Leigh.
I wonder if we have set ourselves up for this cycle on purpose?
“We can get into a cycle we think we can’t get out of and fall into despair.”
Because while we are in this state of despair we have taken our eye of the ball which is to evolve and get of this plane of life back to where we belong. But the distraction takes us so far away from ever coming to this knowing.
I love what you have shared here ‘the way for me to feel less misery is to enjoy moments of tenderness with myself, because my body is beautiful and it feels beautiful when it is being tender’. The last few days I have been feeling quite vulnerable and fragile with lots coming up for me to feel. What I can appreciate is when I went to a supermarket this morning I felt this even more and instead of grabbing food from so not to feel it I made a choice to continue to feel it. It is but all a choice and our movements, thoughts, words and physically are all a part of this. What do we choose and how much do we love ourselves.
Treating our bodies with love, respect and honouring is a natural part of loving ourselves, ‘When I move my hands with tenderness my whole body feels different: for example, when turning a doorknob, I have to allow my hand, my wrist and my shoulder to be gentle, which affects my back, my hips and my legs too.’
The whole area of health and well-being has completely missed the topic of movement and the quality of movement. In a very obvious sense we know not to be rough with ourselves, we feel the impact, but we haven’t taken it to the other side, that how gentle, tender and loving we can be with our movements can actually positively impact the health of our body, and the wellness of our being. Thanks Carmel, great topic.
Our quality of movement has a big impact on how we are, ‘By being especially gentle and tender in my walk, my touch, my breath, I am taking more care of my body, and that is the start to being self-loving through our movements.’
I have been reading some comments and I must admit I reach for the sugar when I am feeling amazing…. it feels like I just want to suppress and alter the expansion I am feeling…. although for me I think my body can turn any un-needed food into sugar….
Ha ha – hilarious Toni and I too can relate to this! Not feeling great or feeling ‘too great’ for my socks can make me choose foods that take me away from feeling all of these things! There is so much more to eating foods than simply telling ourselves what or what not to eat – it is like there is something else controlling us at times that makes us do things we would not normally want to do!
Absolutely Henrietta, its like we are puppets at times to a controlling force, ‘There is so much more to eating foods than simply telling ourselves what or what not to eat – it is like there is something else controlling us at times that makes us do things we would not normally want to do!’
I’m realising how there is a part of me that wants to race my body so that I cannot regain my awareness that I gave away as a child by eating copious amounts of sugar not realising the affect it was having on my body. Now at the age of 63 I know that if I eat sugar it will race me and dull my awareness. My desire for my awareness and what it offers me, an ability to read life is now so much more important to me that I will not forgo this for a few minutes of sweet sensation in my mouth, because once I have swallowed the sweet something I can no longer taste it.
It’s very beautiful to experience how a reading like this can support us to be more aware about the way we move, our posture, the quality of our voice…every little detail counts and has an effect in the whole body, which is designed to be treated in deep regard and tenderness. I take this message into my day, thank you Carmel.
‘enjoy moments of tenderness with myself, because my body is beautiful and it feels beautiful when it is being tender’ This feels medicine, if we all had more moments like this, anxiety and depression wouldn’t exist.
We do seem to forget that our bodies are very tender and delicate and we do seem to use them like battering rams on the outside and think that we can eat anything we want and it is not going to affect our insides how arrogant are we and also how ignorant at the same time.
True Mary. When we reconnect back and listen how clear our body speaks we may realize how far away we have been of living harmoniously with it.
We certainly have a lot to learn in respect of how to treat and honour our bodies, the rates of illness in the world confirm this.
Put sugar into the fuel tank of a car and the engine seizes up and doesn’t work. Hmmm? Our vehicle/body runs evenly and reliably when we choose food and drink that nourishes us.
Spot on Mary, we would never consider putting the wrong fuel in our car as we know the consequences are severe and expensive, and yet we have consequences in and on our body from eating foods that do not suit us and we have the arrogance to ignore the effects these have short or long term on us.
Keeping feeding the body a poison, like alcohol, and then further down the line wonder why your body has different signs and symptoms of not being well.
How often are we truly honest with ourselves when we reach for either food or a drink in why we are reaching for that type of food or drink? ‘I always know that when I crave sweet things it means I am exhausted or feeling low for some reason and if not addressed, can lead to a mild form of depression.’ and if we were honest in how we were feeling it would actually be loving ourselves more in being wiling to go there and maybe just maybe instead of reaching for a certain type of food or drink which suppresses, dulls or burys the feeling there was a way of being and living that could change, heal and clear this instead? Something I definitely know is a truth, although certainly not perfect with this and still go to this to avoid feeling something I feel I am loving myself more and more where this is becoming less and how I support myself is becoming more.
Many years ago I gave up certain foods that I was informed were’t good – for anyone to eat. Rather than feeling for myself what was being presented I took it as an instruction – which it wasn’t. I did feel ‘better’, however because I had stopped eating these foods on account of my will power last year it all came untangled. I realised I had to feel for myself, not rely on anyone outside me telling what I should or shouldn’t eat. So rather than being ‘good’ and doing what I thought was ‘right’ I gave myself permission to eat things I had previously stopped myself from eating. Result – I feel more me and I am evolving. Certain foods are less appealing than they were and will disappear out of my diet in their own time.
I find it fascinating Sueq2012 what has naturally fallen off my radar of things to eat. Something I would always buy at the Supermarket I now walk by, I look at the product and my body just doesn’t want it any more. When we open up and communicate with our bodies it is fascinating what the response will be. I have discovered when we are on auto pilot of buying food based on what we have always done or always eaten there is this lack of communication and then we can get into the habit of eating something that is no longer required by our bodies. That’s when we can then feel sleepy, dull and bloated after eating something which is our body’s way of saying to us that particular food wasn’t wanted. If we listened more to our body’s communication I feel there wouldn’t be a need to go on a diet.
Its great to bring awareness to how we feel when we start to crave a food that we know doesn’t serve us. We may still continue to indulge, but if we keep doing this (checking how we feel in our body) the craving may subside and eventually fall away completely.
absolutely sueq2012 an example for me was potatoes especially chips, however it got to a point that if I ate chips I would fall asleep, I just couldn’t keep my eyes open and would have to stop what I was doing and sleep. Even if I was driving in the car. Now I don’t eat chips because it just isn’t worth the feeling of sleepiness I feel. I took my sister to the sea side and there is a stall there that sells the best hot chips but I didn’t buy any for myself because I actually do enjoy being with me, if I’m not with me, then no one gets to enjoy being with me either, eating them would take that feeling away and it’s just not worth it.
How honest are we when we focus on the food we are eating? We are so used to thinking about whether we are eating right or wrong, if it will make us put on weight or whether it will tamper with our awareness – but how often do we truly consider the energy we were in before reaching out for that which we know harms? How honest are we in our reflection, or are we often too content and comfortable in settling with the self-bashing chatter of “i shouldn’t have eaten this”.
Eating to numb myself from what I am feeling doesn’t work anymore. But that understanding and admission doesn’t stop me from doing so. The more I connect to my essence, which has no want or need to do something it knows doesn’t work, the less I spend in the mindset that ignores past results.
Beautiful Leigh. Our essence has no needs or wants,as you say. Reconnecting to that part of me supports me to ignore the subtle mind cravings that result in my indulging. If I move and maybe go out for a walk – with me – I feel so different on my return and no longer have the craving. .
Movement being the key word here. As what movement have we been in or what have we been aligned to that then craves something. This is something I am still learning.
“When I move my hands with tenderness my whole body feels different..” I experience this as well, the quality of my thoughts and emotional state can all literally change instantly when I allow the tenderness and grace back into my movements. The soulful quality of tenderness is like a wash through my whole body.
” because my body is beautiful and it feels beautiful when it is being tender:”
This is an important learning, coming from the truth that one’s body is beautiful and treating it so will imitate the beauty.
‘But how can I love myself when I feel miserable?’ mmmm good question so does the cycle continue? Eat sugar etc for comfort and because we are not feeling good, then feel worse then eat more sugar? I am learning more and more that the way the cycle can be broken is indeed through our movements. Simply by walking to be with us we can change things in an instant ✨ Simply yet powerful when we choose.
Yes but I can find myself eating comfort foods when I feel amazing too – in order to sabotage that feeling. Crackers isn’t it?”
sueq2012 I totally agree with you, what energy is at play when we eat something to dull how amazing we feel. That is when the spirit has completely exposed itself and shows how it wants to trash our bodies so that we don’t get to feel amazing or if we feel it, it cannot last.
How we choose to move, in a delicate or tender way, with connection, and with purpose are all ways that support us to be in a quality of energy that is more nurturing and loving of ourselves.
I’m experimenting with the seat belt of my car again as it is so easy to just get into my car and drive off with no awareness of what I’m doing as I’m so busy with where am I going, what will the traffic be like, how long will it take roughly to get there? I’m totally focused on the outside world and not what is happening to me.
The seat belt is my stop moment to bring it all back to me to be tender with myself as I strap myself in before anything else.
Love this Mary. I was doing this but have stopped. Thanks for the reminder. There are so many stop moments in our day when we can choose to reconnect and be tender with ourselves.
“The antidote is to be totally honest with how the body is feeling because then we can choose to look after our bodies through self-loving choices” Honesty is the first ingredient in true healing.
Thanks for the reminder, Carmel. Feeling the hardness in our movements is a good indicator where we are at with ourselves.
The feeling miserable is like a confirming of how empty you feel and so the catch-22 spiral continues and confirms. Pharmaceutical companies would have us believe that the only answer to this downward spiral is to put us on a lifetime program of popping Prozac as there is no money to be made in encouraging self-love.
Brigette Evans this is a great observation because taking Prozac is like putting a sticking plaster over the wound, but it doesn’t address why or how we got the wound to begin with.
“the way for me to feel less misery is to enjoy moments of tenderness with myself, because my body is beautiful and it feels beautiful when it is being tender:” Staying connected with our body can transform so many of our more negative feelings and when we move it tenderly even more so.
I know the cycle sugar can throw you into… once begun the cravings can be a challenge to stop. When consumed I feel my nervous system heighten and my body becomes very unsettled.
It sure does make you more tired, but what a perfect reason to eat some more! That’s exactly how I used to live until my body began presenting me with a raft of very unpleasant symptoms, messages from my body that I could no longer ignore if I wanted to live my life to the fullest, a life where sugar has no place.
I certainly know the pattern of feeding the tension in my body with foods that my body really doesn’t like, and the result is, I still have the tension and my body feels decidedly more yucky than it was. I have realised that I often feed this tension as I really don’t want to know what it is actually telling me, but the avoidance doesn’t solve anything, in fact it makes things worse. Note to self – be honest about what I’m avoiding so I then can avoid the foods that make my body miserable.
I’ve been noticing this recently too, Ingrid, how ‘I still have the tension and my body feels decidedly more yucky than it was.’ I’m realising that this doubled up yucky-ness is not worth it anymore so I’m taking a page from your notes if you don’t mind and rather than trying to numb this tension I am feeling with food, choosing to raise the bar on the level of honesty I am willing to go to with myself.
Ingrid, is it possible we are avoiding ourselves? The tension is that when we drop the foods that numb or race us we expose the power and the beauty of who we truly are. We cannot handle the purity of our being that we have been denying. Surely there has to come a point when this being that we have tried to suffocate breaks free and the purity of who we truly are takes over. I can feel it in my body. It’s like a battle ground the spirit is constantly trying to take command again, as it has been exposed through not eating the foods and drinks that it could hide behind what we used to trash our bodies.
Thank you, Carmel, for the gorgeous reminder of how our movements can fill that empty-ness that I too tried to fill with sugar from a very young age and from any number of different sources. I have felt how beautiful it feels to move in a self-loving way, or to change my movements to be self-loving ones when I clock they are less than. Your blog has inspired me to bring these self-loving movements into those moments when I am still reaching for something sweet. I am realising with great joy that I am ready to let go of a lifetime sustenance of finding sweetness in the outer and instead am ready to accept and embrace my inner sweetness.
Beautiful comment, thank you Brigette