While driving the other day I noticed a car way behind me, swerving in and out of traffic, passing everyone in a hurried way, apparently without time to even use his turn signals. He zoomed right up behind me, so close I couldn’t even see his bumper in my rear-view mirror, and proceeded to rocket past in the left lane and quickly accelerated into the distance.
The funny thing is, about a half mile ahead I noticed him sitting at a red light where I eventually gently pulled up right behind his car as we all waited for the light to change together. Admitting that the roles had been reversed in the past, finding myself passing people in a hurry to get somewhere – only to come upon a red light and have them all fall in right behind me – this episode really gave me reason to pause and reflect on how we can let the pressure of time affect us by getting into a rush in our lives, but actually gaining nothing in the process and truly going nowhere.
To qualify the last sentence with greater resolution, when I claimed that we are ‘going nowhere’ when we get into a rush and zoom around, whether with our own bodies or in the moving body of our cars, what I am referring to is the quality of those movements. Sure, you can rush to work, driving like a maniac and clocking in with only seconds to spare without anyone really batting an eyelash about it. But how does moving like this really affect our bodies and the quality of the way we work during the rest of the day?
Having been one of those people who left for work or other appointments at the last second, I can definitively say that when I was always rushing it made my whole body feel racy, tense, anxious, nervous, sometimes angry at other drivers who were ‘in my way’ and generally stressed out. So that was the state of being that I would start my day in. Naturally this anxious energy would cascade, through its momentum, into the work I was engaged in, affecting my relationships, ability to focus, and the efficiency of my movements and productivity. I would at times find myself almost going in circles, forgetting a tool I needed, having to go back and forth multiple times to get the things required for the job that I could have gathered more systematically if I had simply arrived at work early and given myself more space to allow what was needed to come to me without that ‘buzziness’ in my body getting in the way.
Imagine for a moment you are standing in the middle of a swimming pool that has waves and choppy water sloshing around from many people jumping into it. Would you notice any change in the water if someone slowly walked down the steps into the pool? Probably not, but if the pool had perfectly still water all around you, you would naturally be able to see the ripples of water radiating out in waves towards you when someone entered the pool from the other side.
Using the above analogy, when we arrive at our destination after rushing around and with a lot of nervous energy in our bodies, we not only lose our ability to be aware of what is needed to best support ourselves in what we do, but can also have a detrimental effect on other people. These ‘ripples’ of anxiousness can spread to those around us, making them feel more stressed-out if they are not as centred or grounded in their bodies. This can also lead to them taking on your emotional issues as if they are their own. I surely know that I have many times, out of sympathy or in an attempt to ‘save’ them, put the burden of other people’s problems on my shoulders until the weight of both their issues and my own were too much and I realised I had enough to deal with myself without all that extra ‘weight’ to carry!
This gradually led me to the way of allowing people to come to their own realisations and conclusions in life and trusting that they can and will do so in their own time. Sometimes we actually are imposing on their natural process of personal development when we try to help, out of our own self-inflicted issue of not feeling like we are good enough simply as we are, without proving this to others or ourselves through what we do.
So, when I began to allow myself extra space before work or an appointment to prepare my lunch, pack up everything I needed, and drove to my destination chilled out with plenty of time to spare, I noticed that during this new process my whole body breathed a sigh of relief and I arrived much calmer, more settled and better able to handle anything that came my way.
Whereas before, it would not take much for me to feel a bit overwhelmed with the tasks at hand, as I was already ‘swimming’ in that choppy water of racy emotions previously described that can stop us from feeling the power of our stillness, which gives us the confidence to do what is needed – no more, and no less.
Staying connected to my body and focussing my mind on only the task at hand, without getting ahead of myself or thinking about something that happened in the past, has been key to developing more stillness in my body and thus a more settled mind. But the times that I have hurried to finish something, with the intent to check it off my ‘to-do’ list – or because I have taken on the pressure imposed by someone else to complete the task quicker than my body is telling me is possible or healthy – I have been left actually feeling more ‘empty’ at the end of the day, as if I have ‘sold-out’ in a way and gone against what I know to be truly valuable.
This pattern can then lead to the desire to fill that emptiness with food or other forms of entertainment in a desperate attempt to make the day feel more complete, even though all we had to do was listen to what our bodies were telling us is supportive of them in the first place.
Even though rushing may get us somewhere quicker than if we slowed down and provided a more spacious way of preparing and organising our daily activities, if the end result is that we are in a state of being that is disharmonious to our bodies and possibly to others, how can we say we really got anywhere? If anything, I would say from a viewpoint of the evolution of human consciousness, we in fact went nowhere in this instance, as living with this kind of anxiousness caused by rushing is not in line with our body’s natural balance and only causes a multitude of mental, emotional and physical health issues.
Without a doubt, the teachings of Serge Benhayon via Universal Medicine have been paramount in providing the tools needed to re-connect to the intelligence of my body, which can feel the truth of any situation and guide me to living with more love and understanding every day, knowing that there is no need to rush in returning to our true way. We are all just going in circles, as the Earth spins and orbits the Sun, going nowhere until we are all ready to evolve together to a higher consciousness that we know deep down is inevitable.
By Michael Goodhart, Aircraft Technician, B.A. Psychology, Lover of people, Nature and the philosophy of Universal Life, Greensboro, North Carolina, USA
Further Reading:
Rush, Rush, Rush
Yoga of life – to rush or not to rush?
Abiding by the Law – Driving on the Speed Limit, and Enjoying It!
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
Space is a true gift, both to give to ourselves and to give to others.
This is a great conversation to have because since attending the Universal Medicine presentations, I have given myself space by slowing down especially when visiting clients just by arriving 10 – 15 minutes before a meeting allows me to slow down so there is no sense of rushing in my body. When I’m not rushing I am far more aware of what is going on around me.
Recently I have come to realise the absolute madness and illusion of rushing and that it actually confines space and puts me into a constant race with time. It is extraordinary and so simple to let my breath be deeper, fuller, richer and more spacious and then, hey presto I am in a relationship with the space that is all around me, ready and present for whatever is needed.
I agree Matilda rushing makes us all anxious, and puts our bodies into a nervous tension. If we stay in the nervous tension all day then it’s that same nervous tension we put ourselves to bed with. Then we cannot sleep properly and wake up feeling dull and tired. so then the cycle repeats itself. You mention breathing and there is a technique called the ‘Gentle breath Meditation’ by Serge Benhayon and this meditation is a great way to reconnect us back to our bodies so that we can feel what is happening to our bodies all the time.
This is a common theme I observe in the mornings when I head to work, and I was one of the statistics that would be in a hurry. Over time, space and everything, I began to realise that I was being caught in the hurrying and I, one day decided not to entertain it anymore. I naturally wake up early and I allow myself the space to get ready for work, I see others rushing once I’m on the road, and they can carry on their merry way.
There is a difference when your are rushed and ready to, having the space and harmony the flow is priceless. I am far from perfect at it, but it certainly is a whole new way to live and I know for sure that me and my body love it compared to the old way. Rushing will never get us anywhere…
As a child and growing up I was constantly trying to fix the relationships in the family and for a long while was the ambassador to one of my older siblings attempting to reconcile the differences that were always present.
So learning to let go with the understanding that people will come to their own realisations in their own time has lifted a huge burden off my shoulders. As hard as we might try we cannot save anyone we can only save ourselves. I now understand we don’t have a right to interfere with someone else’s choices because this means we have judged them.
True Mary, ‘As hard as we might try we cannot save anyone we can only save ourselves.’ I used to try to save people, and now accept it is their choices and their life – all I can do is reflect a way of living that is based on Love and Truth.
Preparing ourselves by means of taking our time to get ready in a steady un-rushed fashion in the morning and giving ourselves the opportunity to fully gather ourselves before we leave for work or an appointment really has a holding and supporting feel to it. It holds us in a place where we are ready for whatever the day has in store for us, and let’s face it sometimes it ain’t pretty.
A strong foundation nurturing and caring for ourselves in space is supportive in facing our day ahead.
Rushing is something that for some people feels so natural they aren’t even aware that they are in this constant state of anxiousness. I know someone who is talking at such a high speed that she even doesn’t take time to breath properly , for her her normal but as we all can feel it is an assault to her body and to those around her.
Annelies it kind of feels that people have acclimatised to this rushing in what ever format it may look like, in other words they don’t even realise they are doing it, and then we blame it on exhaustion and burnout. When we dissect it, we then discover, what has kept us away from our natural state of being, then it is a whole new ball game altogether, discovering more about you, yourself and your body.
When people talk at such a high speed it can be hard to understand them, and I have had to ask people to slow down at times.
The concept of time is something imprisoning and limiting in itself. Allowing it to lead our life takes us to an unnatural push that separates us from the loving flow we can live in when connected to our body.
This is a brilliant and huge conversation to have. Considering our relationship with time and whether we are enslaved to it or free of it during our days. Yes we do need to turn up to things at certain times, but does time lead us or do we maintain mastership of our movements and the way we approach our schedules?
Beautiful reflection about a so common pattern in society. Good to let it in and touch what is related to me
I’d much rather be early than on time or late for anything. No stress or anxiety of rushing. However being too early isn’t great either and can also have a draining effect from trying to ‘kill time’. This also impacts on others I’d say.
I prefer to arrive at destinations a bit early, the stress of rushing does not feel like an energy I want in my body.
I used to be a very last minute person, just scraping to get into an appointment by the skin of my teeth. That is until I had a boyfriend who was consistently late – for everything. We missed a plane flight once…. I learned how much rushing at the last minute affected others. More recently I have learned that arriving just on time is the new being late, and have adjusted my movements accordingly. No more ‘I’ll just do one more thing’ before leaving my house” which inevitably then made me late.
Such a great shift to make. And the sense of space when we are ‘early’ is so amazing. It makes me feel ready for anything.
I too noticed a car weaving in and out of the traffic in an attempt to get somewhere fast. Interesting to observe when we reached the traffic lights I was right behind them – without any rush.
I love it when karma comes quickly. The other day I was on the motorway, and someone tailgated me as you started this article. I moved over to allow them to pass, but he only travelled a short distance to the slow car I had been behind and then repeated his actions by riding their tail. Then, a large white van decided to ride the impatient driver. The dance of these two, went on for several miles of car one, being slowed by others and Mr white van-man glued to his backside. More haste, less speed, is befitting for living this way in all aspects of life, not just driving.
I too recently observed what you were describing on the road- a car rushing to get somewhere only to then later be stopped by traffic lights further up ahead. The energy of the car felt awful as it weaved in and out of the traffic- very imposing, harsh and heavy.
What a difference it can be when we drive calmly with respect to other cars on the road, allowing space. A flow then happens.
Driving isn’t a separate activity that’s unrelated to the rest of our lives, driving is a reflection of how we live when we’re not in the car. None of us can live chaotically and then get in our cars and be centred and calm, equally non of us can live in a way that’s centred and connected and then get in our cars and be totally reckless. We are the constant that we take from place to place and each different environment and situation will offer us a reflection of who we are and how we’re being.
When I realise the futility of rushing, actually worse, the harm it causes not only in my body but also the whirlwind it leaves for others, the choice to practise living in a different way is a no-brainer. And then when I get to feel the space in every moment the illusion of time and our relationship with it is exposed.
When we are in a rush do we ever consider how our movements affect those around us? But I guess even not being in a rush do we ever consider how our movements affect all? I am certainly more aware of this which is great I am also aware there is far more to learn, feel and unfold regarding this.
Great point Vicky. When rushing I would say we only think about the ‘me’, the self, without any consideration for others – on a temporal level, let alone an energetic level.
It is a great point to raise Vicky, how often do we consider the impact of our movements on others?
Just reading this makes my body smile. And sets me a very practical ‘investigation’ to play with. I have come to a point of great respect for my body, which in itself is remarkable, and listen to it more than ever. I know that its signposting is constant, so today I am going to see how all ears I can be 🙂
I so need to read this again and again, I often leave things to the last moment.
I love what you present here.
Your analogy of the waves in the busy pool reminded me of sea fishing. For you to not be affected by the waves of others, you develop sea legs. You cannot control the waves, so you must find your balance, to not be affected by their motions. When you ride the waves, it beats being carried away by them, every time.
I have observed exactly what you have described and I have also chosen to participate in rushing to get somewhere and leave ‘myself’ behind. Taking the time to stay in the moment and to allow lots of space in preparation, what everyone receives and all situations are graced by is so much more enriched and fulfilling.
When we give ourselves the space to get ready for an event without rushing or leaving everything to the last minute we can feel ready and equip for whatever we have to deal with. Without it there is this feeling that we have left something behind, and we have, ourselves.
The illusion of rushing is that we are getting somewhere quicker which is not true, that does not change. All that really happens is that we cause more excess motion within yourself and an excuse to not be present in the moments we are living.
And that is it isn’t it? The rush gives us an excuse not to be present in, and therefore responsible for, every moment.
The rush is really us saying yes to a different energy running our body, and we know how horrible it feels when we have allowed ourselves to go in to ‘rush’. We are not present with our body, it is all about self, and there is no consideration of the impact this will have on those around us.
It often happens that I catch up with someone at a red traffic light after they passed me in a rush, sometimes after having imposed on me for a while so I would let them through. If we would be aware of these things we could learn quite quickly what works and what doesn’t work. Like the person rushing could realise that the rushing did not really got them anywhere and the person not rushing could see how space works and that how, in what quality, you drive can create space in time.
“… this episode really gave me reason to pause and reflect on how we can let the pressure of time affect us by getting into a rush in our lives, but actually gaining nothing in the process and truly going nowhere.” I used to get so caught up in time – and speeding when driving – collected many a speed ticket. Life feels very different these days. After all we are heading nowhere – but going aroud and around the sun on this planet of ours…..
Here I am, here is my body, what is it conveying? This is what governs life, quite literally it is what our body is putting out that governs our relationship with life and life in return is a reflection of that relationship. Put out rush, put out struggle, put out tension, put out complication and like a boomerang it comes straight back. Put out stillness, put out connection, put out love et voila, back it comes, straight back atcha.
“Rushing but going no where” this kind of sums up the whole of our humanity.
I agree SLC and rushing produces a state of anxiousness that puts our bodies into a state of nervous tension, and many of us then use that nervous tension as a fuel to get through the day.
True SLC, we rush like hamsters on a wheel going round and round, but nothing really changes.
What rushing does is that it guarentees that we don’t go inside, it snares us on the surface of life.
As crazy as it sounds in the past if I was driving and I was anxious or did not feel confident in the direction I was going (no satnavs at this time) I would go faster!!!! Like that just doesn’t make sense, on reflection it feels like this happens when we put ourselves under pressure or are put under pressure instead of slowing down we speed up! Thankfully this has now changed and with more confidence in my body as well as awareness if in any doubt of where I am going I slow down.
Thank you Micheal, There is a way to get a lot done and not be busy!
I find driving I can often get into a sense of rush when traffic builds up and essentially I find my body running at a million miles an hour yet I am sitting still in the car – so the question comes how much energy am I actually using at this time? And no wonder we can get exhausted when we are not really doing anything if internally we are all over the place.
This totally exposes how we can be ‘still’ … not moving, yet in our bodies be moving as you say a million miles an hour. It just goes to show that how much we need to both discern what we ‘see’ and be honest about what we feel.
The feeling of ‘rush’ inside our bodies doesn’t come from the speed of our limbs but from how wired our nervous system feels.
I so know this one, I had been rushing around for a few months taking on extra work to pay the bills when one day I bumped into a car stationary in a super market car park, I then had to pay all money I had made extra into repairing the ladies car.
Great lesson for me to understand we harm ourselves and others when we rush and don’t take the time we or another need.
We have the perception that we rush to catch up or get ahead but what we are also truly resisting is being in the natural flow of life. We do this in many other ways too, all to avoid feeling the grander movement that we are part of, lest we forget.
We’re all madly running on the spot, arms and legs pumping but as you so rightly say Michael we ain’t going nowhere. When we drop the compulsive doing and change our repetitive movements to conscious ones then we do start to move but the direction is inwards and then we get to see that there’s a whole Universe to explore within. There really isn’t much of interest on the outside but my word there’s an Aladdin’s Cave on the inside.
Alexis I agree with you what we see on the surface of life is nothing at all to what lies under the surface, and that to me is the plot to keep everyone focused on the surface by whatever distraction there is so we are not aware that actually what takes place underneath is what is affecting us the most.
Mary it is the plot indeed, keep everyone distracted by the temporary bright lights and distractions on the outside and they miss the depth of pure gold on the inside. And it’s a plot that’s worked for eons. However humanity is getting increasingly more restless and the instigators of the plot know this and so have to keep upping the ante.
To me this says it all ‘stillness moves greater than tension and time’ Serge Benhayon. Much to ponder on here.
It feels to me that tension and time are very self limited but that stillness can transverse universes.
When we rush without a purpose, are we not a hamster on a wheel that no matter how fast we go, we never go anywhere?
When we feel the need to rush we have lost all contact with the space around us. We have been offered space by the grace of God to stop and listen to the wisdom that pours through us when we are living in harmony with the vibrations of the Universe.
Michael another fantastic blog, please do keep them coming.
Great insight and great for us to hear.
If we take what you have said Michael and expanded it, we are all going nowhere as we follow a seemingly fixed path around the Sun. So then we can really ask the question why are we rushing when there is nowhere to go except round and round the Sun? We could say we are akin to Gold Fish swimming round and round in the Goldfish bowl going absolutely nowhere. More and more I can sense an unrealness to this life we have manufactured, we may have tall buildings, have all this technology, wear different clothes which is all on the surface but underneath the surface nothing has changed at all because we are not evolving.
Supporting students across the curriculum in all key stages in history classes brings your point home to me very clearly, Mary. War after fruitless war is studied and yet nothing is learned and we make the same choices to bicker, fight, kill and maim again and again and again. Yes, we are going around in circles and until we can admit that we are we will keep traversing the same old ground in endless loops.
It feels horrible when others put expectation onto us to finish a task quicker than what our bodies are capable of doing at that particular time. Then I suppose it is for us to not adhere to the expectation and to keep to our own rhythm.
I arrived to work over an hour early one day this week which was really beautiful as I got to enjoy a riverside walk. I can very easily keep busy until the last minute at home or go early, miss traffic and have some space to simply enjoy being in the world.
Deadlines, we have all experienced or created them. The origin of this word is from the US Civil War. The Confederate army built wooden stockades for prisoners of war in the woods. When they finished the fort, there was a barren land around the prisons outside wall to where they stopped cutting trees. It was an island. There were snipers on the wall in case of escapes, and the tree line was called the deadline. Anyone caught between the wall, and the treeline was fair game for the guards on the wall. It’s a good thing that running out of time today will not kill you for missing a deadline. But what is the stress we willingly put on ourselves doing?
Wow, this is fascinating Steve. Thank you for sharing the foundation of this word as it is important to recognise how the energy of a word’s or phrase’s initial birth has a direct impact on those that use it thereafter. No wonder we hold a detest for ‘deadlines’. The more one feels into this, the more the word is quite morbid, and now I have a whole other understanding of why that is!
Is it strange that beating the clock is a monumental chalange? It is like trying to stop the slowing of the global melting of the glaciers. We sometimes may cross the line in the nick of time, but at what cost to our body and others around us. But, when we create space, time is not a factor. So, why do we so willingly continue to race with time and except what it does to our body?
I had a massive light bulb light up when I heard Serge Benhayon say that it was ‘our relationship with time’ that makes the difference and what I took that to mean is it is how our bodies are at any given time that counts because time is only a reflection of the same moment over and over again and we are all simply standing on the same spot in the same moment and so how our body is as we stand on the same spot is our relationship with time. Therefore when we get into a rush then this is simply a contracted, tense state in the only moment of now and in the same way when our body is surrendered then this too is our relationship with the only moment of now. There are no future moments, it all only ever happens now, on this very spot.
This is a great observation Michael, and I agree with you whole heartedly that rushing gets us nowhere and the side effects of frustration, feeling racy and that yuckiness in the pit of our stomach as we have got ahead of ourselves is not worth it. As much as possible I leave in plenty of time so that I can stop for a break and even if I am caught in traffic I still arrive at my destination with at least 10 minutes ahead of the appointment, so that I can just have a few minutes to myself is a great recipe for self nurture.
Absolutely Mary, this is how my body likes me to be, to allow enough space, so that I have time to have a toilet break, and acclimatise myself with my new surroundings.
Great topic Michael, I hadn’t quite considered the full extent of the ripples of one part of my day done in rush or anxiousness and how it can impact the whole day and my health and mental wellbeing. It is really asking me to go deeper into self care and conscious presence. Much appreciated.
Rushing but going nowhere .. yes indeed in traffic and in life! Like moving to another town, country, job or relationship get away from stuff when all the stuff (issues and hurts etc are still within). The body is magical when we honour it and allow it to be all it is and can be, and also when we work with it to allow true healing. I cannot wait for the day when more or all of humanity tangibly feel that truth and heaven lies within and we wholeheartedly return to this innate understanding and awareness we have currently chosen to ignore or forget.
The strange thing about rushing is we can think we racing head of or beating time, but time doesn’t move. It took me a while to get that. The important point for me is how I am and the quality I am connected to within myself, and how I express that within the day. I can feel like I’m pushing time but I’m actually just pushing me. How I move within time I’m responsible for, but I can’t move time.
Rushing puts an enormous strain on our bodies, our whole body gets affected. It feels like the whole body is jangled and jarred and it takes a while for those feeling to truly subside and leave the body completely. Also many of us rush throughout our whole day, we rush when we eat, we rush when we shower, we rush when we’re at work, we rush to get to places, we rush whilst we shop, we rush whilst we clean and we also rush whilst we’re on the toilet. That’s a helluva lot of strain on our bodies!
Taking the time to get oneself ready for work or any activity for that matter, and not rushing but having everything ready is incredibly supportive as it gets you started for the day on the ‘front foot’ and not on the ‘back foot’ – a deeply regenerating and supportive thing to do!
Being on the front foot happens as a result of all of the steps that we have chosen to take prior to being on the front foot. You can’t suddenly decide to be on the front foot without doing the previous legwork.
We can rush all we like, but in the end we are not getting anywhere anyways considering that the earth is simply spinning on its axis and going around and around but not getting anywhere. I find this fascinating and hilarious at the same time as ti takes all the perceived pressure off.
TIme and time again I have had to rush to get an assignment in, or rushed to get to work on time and each time I could feel the impact on my body and how unpleasant it felt to have to endure such a situation. Over time and with amazing support from Universal Medicine, I have learned how much more supportive it is to allow more time to do all that needs to be done. This might sound silly in its simplicity but the reality is that putting into practice what we know is often harder than we realise because of our past momentums, and so when we do achieve such a change, it is indeed something to celebrate.
Great comment Henrietta, I appreciate your sharing here. I agree it can seem so simple yet putting into place new ways to be with ourselves in relation to time can actually take… some time! We can be very deeply embedded in patterns of rushing and leaving things to the last minute.
The discussion about deeply embedded patterns is an interesting one. For some while I have noticed that when it comes to parking my car I have to hunt for a spot that is the very closest to wherever it is that I’m going. Now that might sound like common sense but I’m talking about driving past parking spots that are really, really close to where I’m going in order to find one that’s a couple of metres closer! It’s actually quite ridiculous but I am aware that it is a behaviour that I feel has some hold on me. Now that I have become aware of it the next step is to consistently make a different choice and in doing so choose my way out of the ingrained behaviour.
You may need to park your parking pattern 🙂
Michael, I love the analogy of the swimming pool and how we can get in and create waves or ripples that can either disturb someone or support someone else in the pool. It brings us to an awareness and an understanding about the quality of how we are and how this can and does impact everyone and anyone around us.
What struck me about this particular part of the blog is when everyone is making disturbing waves, it can become our normal. It highlighted to me how important everyone’s ripples are in life as we are always having an influence and we are always role models – of what we are role modelling is our only choice.
Rushing is simply just thrashing around on the spot.
True – and so exhausting!
Michael this is an absolutely sublime piece of writing. It is written in an energy that pulls the reader into a deeper form of stillness, I could almost feel my particles slowing down as I read it. I’ve said it before but guess what, I’m gonna say it again, you are a deeply soulful writer. A writer who writes for the people and whose sharings are living tools that humanity can use to evolve themselves out of here.
‘I noticed that during this new process my whole body breathed a sigh of relief and I arrived much calmer, more settled and better able to handle anything that came my way.’ There is nothing like the feeling of having space and all the time needed to get somewhere or get something done when we compare it to how we feel when we are rushed and stressed about it. This alone supports the notion of our taking responsibility for how we live our lives, because when we don’t our choices don’t just impact on us, they impact on all around us too.
What a lovely piece, thank you. I can really feel the difference in me when I rush and feel worn out in the way I have held myself pushing at a speed my body does not like, the more I take the brake off the more ‘space’ is created
Thank you Michael for sharing. What have said related to so many situations I have found myself in. The line: ‘Sometimes we actually are imposing on their natural process of personal development when we try to help, out of our own self-inflicted issue of not feeling like we are good enough simply as we are, without proving this to others or ourselves through what we do.’ I have been someone who goes into help and rescue but am seeing more and more the power of the reflection I hold by simply being myself and holding others in a space of love where it does not matter what they do, or think. Then the choice is theirs what to do with it rather saying they must change.
And so often James we go in with a timeline, an arbitrary mark on the calendar of life that we have penciled in for the other person to have ‘sorted out their issue’ by but where do these ideas come from and why do we put time restrictions and limits on everything? Life is the most majestic teacher, there is no detail that it overlooks, ever, it has everything sewn up and in the bag and then along comes us looking through our small limited view finders and try and direct people to where we think they should be. That’s not to say that we shouldn’t help but it’s to say that we need to discern how and why we’re helping. The most helpful thing may be to simply stand back in love and to allow things to unfold as they are, knowing that they are unfolding like that for a reason.
Discerning why we want to help….. I used to be a rescuer too, but realised I wanted the feel good factor, so it wasn’t about helping the other at all. It was all about me. A big stop moment. Discerning is key.
7) More often than not everything seems to be about ‘us’ even when we make out that it’s about someone else. The more aware I become the more I realise that ‘all roads seem to lead back to us’ even though for example we like to put the blame on others or say that we are doing it to support another, invariably we are the ones that have put whatever it is in motion.
“We are all just going in circles, as the Earth spins and orbits the Sun, going nowhere until we are all ready to evolve together to a higher consciousness that we know deep down is inevitable.” If we are spinning and rushing out of rhythm with the Universe, we are unaware of who we are and where we are all going.
Years ago, I got a speeding ticket and had the option of doing a one-day driver re-education class instead of getting points on my licence. It was a no-brainer for which one to choose. I still remember one piece of material that was a circular paper calculator for determining the time of arrival based on speed and dissonance. On short trips, speeding will only save you seconds on your arrival time. But, what tension have you put on yourself and those you have affected on the way? And, how long did it continue after the journey?
Great point Steve, that is .. the ripple affect of tension before and after in our bodies and of course how it affects the environment around us. Just goes to show that when we talk about climate change it is to look at how are we moving, including expression, in our every way every day first.
I did one of those too Steve. It made a big impression on me and I adjusted my driving far more than when I got points off my licence and a fine.
I am yet to find a bank that will take deposits of the seconds and minutes that we apparently ‘save’ when rushing around like a chook without a head.
Ha! A great point Gabriele.
Cute. But our health service certainly shows the detrimental impact of our ‘rushing around like a chook without a head’.
Well said Michael – it is absurd when we race to ‘get ahead’ as it simply doesn’t work. But what if that’s not what we are really seeking – but racing to get away from what we are feeling? Being speedy in ourselves temporarily takes away from what we sense about life.
So many of us have a feeling of being permanently ‘on our way somewhere’ and of never feeling like we’ve arrived. It’s an exhausting way to live and one that doesn’t allow us to experience the absolute wonders of life that are right there in the present moment of now.
‘this episode really gave me reason to pause and reflect on how we can let the pressure of time affect us by getting into a rush in our lives, but actually gaining nothing in the process and truly going nowhere.’ I have often noted that when I rush, I get no further ahead in traffic than if I had calmly got on with it. The problem with rushing is that we completely decimate any quality we may have in our bodies in the tension and tightening we create, believing that if we get there in the time specified, all will be ok. What we fail to recognise is that it is not ok is to arrive totally not ourselves and in a flap, and even before that, it is not ok to impose on others on the road in the way described.
When we rush it really effects our breath and our posture.Our breath becomes shallower and more restricted and we tend to stoop. No one stands tall to rush whilst breathing well.
Good point Alexis. When I walk in a rhythm my posture is so different – and I feel completely different too – so much more with myself.
Yes, quality goes out of the window when we rush. I notice that I’m not with myself at all when I rush or feel late. I then arrive in a less than calm state.