by Barbara Horne
My Life before Universal Medicine?
Ever felt… “What’s the meaning of having this life anyway?”
OR even worse – thinking that you do know what it’s all about, and everything is still crap?
OR maybe you are like me and just didn’t want to know because that would mean a level of responsibility that we are just not ready for yet? That is, maybe my life was not so great because I was the one making it not so great?…
It was so easy to continue to not feel what my body was telling me. How I was living my life and not wanting to ‘truthfully’ know what was going on. How many expectations I had invested in others, how I floated through life taking on everyone else’s stuff. It was so easy to pretend things went wrong in my life because of others’ actions, so easy to point at others as the cause of my own unhappiness. You know the way it goes… We’ve all blamed life, people, circumstances rather than taking responsibility for ourselves.
Yet at the same time, there was a part of me that knew innately that the lack of meaning in my life was not a result of anyone or anything external. By attending Universal Medicine presentations and workshops I was then very gently shown a way to truly look within myself. Through the teachings of Universal Medicine and the living example of Serge Benhayon, his family, the practitioners and other students, I observed the level of love and integrity that they consistently held for themselves and all others.
Oh yes, I have always been described as a loving person, people have always come to me to talk things over or ask advice. But until I began attending the Universal Medicine workshops and began taking responsibility for my own health, my life and how the way I live each day affects myself and others, I realised that what I thought was loving, nurturing, caring, was not done in the true energy, the love that I know myself to be today. I have had many years looking for a ‘quick fix’ to life, but it’s not out there… Oh No!… I did find that it’s not so quick, and that actually it was within all along. I now accept that no one else can do it for me… I can’t hand my life over to someone else like a broken bicycle and say, “make that work again, will you?”.
I am on the way to truly understanding what my life is about, trusting my feelings and bringing in my full awareness to all that I am, not just reacting to life. I am taking time to ‘feel’ my way.
Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine present information, ancient wisdom, that when heard, feels like, “Ahhhh… I knew that!… So how and why have I not been living it?” Through listening to what my body was telling me, i.e. I’m bloated, noticing that particular foods makes me sleepy, etc. I slowly began changing my diet and eating habits a few years ago. I can say without any doubt that I have gone from a tired, physically exhausted, overweight body that only managed to ‘get through a day’s work’, to a vital worker each and every day who ‘enjoys a day’s work’ and returns home each day, yes sometimes physically tired, but never mentally exhausted and I sleep soundly at night. How many people can truly say that they are sleeping well?
Who hasn’t looked for happiness?…
When I first started attending workshops I was looking for ‘happiness’, I now know, through being honest with myself that my understanding of happiness was anything which stopped me from truly feeling how I had been, just getting through life. Because happiness was for me a fluctuating state of being that required something to feed it continually to allow it to be felt, and that it relied on others or things or thrills to bring about.
I found myself out… I became aware that happiness wasn’t really what I wanted at all! But if I didn’t want happiness, what did I want? Oh no… this meant I could no longer blame anyone else if I didn’t have it, whatever it was… ummmmm… There’s an awful amount of self-honesty required in all this!
I now have something very precious, true JOY in myself, joy in looking at life and really feeling this great gift of life itself. I now can be the ‘real’ me with my children and with my grandchildren, simple joy in their company, love without having to receive anything in return, the same love a small child gives, no reservation, no expectation in anyway that it will be reciprocated, a way of just truly being real in the presence of another. No one has ever had to tell me I was love, this has always been my truth. But Serge has shown me via Universal Medicine presentations and his living example how I can truly ‘live’ that love and hold a reflection of that love that is within me for others.
So?… I have not turned into anything!… I have become more honest with myself. I now hold an awareness that I am responsible for my own life, my own choices, my interactions with others, and I can truly just be the real me. Not the ‘me’ that used to make others comfortable as they too looked for and chased an elusive and fleeting happiness. The presentations, workshops and sessions that I have attended with Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and various practitioners have supported my own inner wisdom to a point of realising that I know that I am truly no longer just getting through life but ‘living’.
I am on my way home to myself.
122 thoughts on “Universal Medicine – A student looks back…”
Yes I understand those days of making and blaming it about everybody else and not even considering that my unhappiness had nothing to do with anyone else, but me.
Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine present that there is a responsibility to the quality of life we live and it simply comes by taking care of ourselves first, before we can support another.
My life is far from perfect and I still have fragments of old ways creeping in and it is for me to explore and take responsibility of these expectations of others.
So like you life before Serge and Universal Medicine was a very different, appeared great on the outside, yet turmoil in the inside. Now it is much the other way, much more solid in the inside whilst the turmoil is in the outside. What a turn around.
When I first encountered Universal Medicine I too was looking for a quick fix in life. But Universal Medicine does not offer quick fixes, it offers taking true and full responsibility in life. This is not everyone’s piece of cake so to speak as you get to re-assess your life and ever so lovingly see what you are choosing that is creating the problem to begin with.
This is the biggest issue in the world, these quick fixes is rife in most systems, including in health. I agree Henrietta not everyone is ready for the truth and that’s okay too, as long as they are okay with others changing the way they live. After all everyone has a choice at the end of the day…
“Lack of meaning in life” and lack of true purpose are pretty serious ‘dis-eases’ or conditions to live with and are the root cause of so much disharmony in our society. When we lack purpose, we withdraw further. But to be in that situation to begin with means that we have felt what was needed originally and actually pulled back from that as a responsibility (ie withdrew) at the start which then allows a deeper withdrawal as we fight what we felt was truly needed but walked away from. Taking responsibility means having to give up on some comforts and what governs the speed of our response is how attached we are to these comforts and truly willing to let them go.
On some level we all know there is more to life than the eye can see, and yet we will often fool ourselves to seek the quick fix when there is none. And at such time when we can be honest enough to realise that quick fixes do not work, then perhaps are we ready and open to begin exploring the true reasons why we are here.
“love without having to receive anything in return”. Now that is the kind of love I would like to live and am working towards. What I realise is when I offer love truly that energy is enough, the very presence of it is all I have ever wanted so it doesn’t matter if anything is returned. When I am expecting or needing a return it’s not truly love.
Generally, if I want to ask Serge Benhayon a question it generally follows the theme of: “I know the answer already, this is said answer and really what I’m asking for is proofreading.” There’s nothing new about what he presents because it speaks to a deeper part of ourselves that does know more than we consciously are aware of.
Too me this is what sets Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine apart from the plethora of self help, healing modalities that are out there.
Everyone is supported to no longer get through life by blaming circumstances but to live life, to be the master of it and in the mastery come the joy.
We are the script writers of our own lives to the n-detail.
The word happiness is often actually similar to stimulation, an elevation or distractions that make sure that you don’t feel what is inside you. Joy is a different word without any elevation but with the feeling of expansion inside.
Beautifully shared Monika, we could even say that happiness is a lighter flavour of misery because once you have felt joy happiness feels awful. Joy is the only one that comes from within us, happiness is an energy that is outside of ourselves, it’s part of the world that is in the separation from our true selves.
Many of us feel that we want to be fixed at some point of our life, and for me it wasn’t until I started to take responsibility for my choices, that I started to realise that I was the maker of my own misery.
Sally, what a very powerful realization to know that one is the maker of ones own experiences.
Crap is often our own crop even if it could sound creepy.
Great point, Barbara. Currently there is a constant pressure to be happy in our society. ‘Put a smile on your face and you’ll become happy’ This is a very common attitude that makes me ponder on why many people is unhappy and what are avoiding to feel in that self-imposition of being happy. I feel there is a lack of acceptance and appreciation of life as it is, a need of making it different for it to fit in the images of happiness we are sold, a lack of intimacy with ourselves that otherwise would make possible the joy of being who we are, as we are, whatever happen. When we connect with this space within us, happiness is not an external goal to be achieved anymore, because there’s no need to avoid or change anything outside of us, but keep deepening in the joy of being and sharing who we truly are.
Its kind of interesting that we hadn’t contemplated this before that happiness isn’t the answer as it is not something which is sustained, there is the high that comes with it but then there is the downfall that comes after. I never considered that life could have a consistent joy that could be felt in each moment but am now learning that it is there to be connected to at any time.