by Barbara Horne
My Life before Universal Medicine?
Ever felt… “What’s the meaning of having this life anyway?”
OR even worse – thinking that you do know what it’s all about, and everything is still crap?
OR maybe you are like me and just didn’t want to know because that would mean a level of responsibility that we are just not ready for yet? That is, maybe my life was not so great because I was the one making it not so great?…
It was so easy to continue to not feel what my body was telling me. How I was living my life and not wanting to ‘truthfully’ know what was going on. How many expectations I had invested in others, how I floated through life taking on everyone else’s stuff. It was so easy to pretend things went wrong in my life because of others’ actions, so easy to point at others as the cause of my own unhappiness. You know the way it goes… We’ve all blamed life, people, circumstances rather than taking responsibility for ourselves.
Yet at the same time, there was a part of me that knew innately that the lack of meaning in my life was not a result of anyone or anything external. By attending Universal Medicine presentations and workshops I was then very gently shown a way to truly look within myself. Through the teachings of Universal Medicine and the living example of Serge Benhayon, his family, the practitioners and other students, I observed the level of love and integrity that they consistently held for themselves and all others.
Oh yes, I have always been described as a loving person, people have always come to me to talk things over or ask advice. But until I began attending the Universal Medicine workshops and began taking responsibility for my own health, my life and how the way I live each day affects myself and others, I realised that what I thought was loving, nurturing, caring, was not done in the true energy, the love that I know myself to be today. I have had many years looking for a ‘quick fix’ to life, but it’s not out there… Oh No!… I did find that it’s not so quick, and that actually it was within all along. I now accept that no one else can do it for me… I can’t hand my life over to someone else like a broken bicycle and say, “make that work again, will you?”.
I am on the way to truly understanding what my life is about, trusting my feelings and bringing in my full awareness to all that I am, not just reacting to life. I am taking time to ‘feel’ my way.
Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine present information, ancient wisdom, that when heard, feels like, “Ahhhh… I knew that!… So how and why have I not been living it?” Through listening to what my body was telling me, i.e. I’m bloated, noticing that particular foods makes me sleepy, etc. I slowly began changing my diet and eating habits a few years ago. I can say without any doubt that I have gone from a tired, physically exhausted, overweight body that only managed to ‘get through a day’s work’, to a vital worker each and every day who ‘enjoys a day’s work’ and returns home each day, yes sometimes physically tired, but never mentally exhausted and I sleep soundly at night. How many people can truly say that they are sleeping well?
Who hasn’t looked for happiness?…
When I first started attending workshops I was looking for ‘happiness’, I now know, through being honest with myself that my understanding of happiness was anything which stopped me from truly feeling how I had been, just getting through life. Because happiness was for me a fluctuating state of being that required something to feed it continually to allow it to be felt, and that it relied on others or things or thrills to bring about.
I found myself out… I became aware that happiness wasn’t really what I wanted at all! But if I didn’t want happiness, what did I want? Oh no… this meant I could no longer blame anyone else if I didn’t have it, whatever it was… ummmmm… There’s an awful amount of self-honesty required in all this!
I now have something very precious, true JOY in myself, joy in looking at life and really feeling this great gift of life itself. I now can be the ‘real’ me with my children and with my grandchildren, simple joy in their company, love without having to receive anything in return, the same love a small child gives, no reservation, no expectation in anyway that it will be reciprocated, a way of just truly being real in the presence of another. No one has ever had to tell me I was love, this has always been my truth. But Serge has shown me via Universal Medicine presentations and his living example how I can truly ‘live’ that love and hold a reflection of that love that is within me for others.
So?… I have not turned into anything!… I have become more honest with myself. I now hold an awareness that I am responsible for my own life, my own choices, my interactions with others, and I can truly just be the real me. Not the ‘me’ that used to make others comfortable as they too looked for and chased an elusive and fleeting happiness. The presentations, workshops and sessions that I have attended with Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and various practitioners have supported my own inner wisdom to a point of realising that I know that I am truly no longer just getting through life but ‘living’.
I am on my way home to myself.