by Alan Johnston
My partner Josephine began her engagement with Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine quietly and simply some eighteen months before me. Previously we had been together in a long association with a paradigm that very specifically focused on man and woman and their relating.
To say I was initially sceptical about Serge’s written material and what he was saying would be an understatement. I couldn’t stand the books – ‘incomprehensible jargon’ – and Serge’s unshakeable certainty was quite inflammatory to me.
What enabled me to get through this was the burgeoning reflection of love that I was receiving just by being around Josephine and her gentle engagement with the work.
I began by attending some Esoteric Medicine evenings, having sessions with Kate Greenaway and then Caroline Raphael and when I had my first direct exchange with Serge Benhayon, my heart just ‘cracked’ and I sobbed in recognition of what – I now can say – real love feels like. Equal, unwavering, not wanting anything for itself.
If I had not come to this opening and self recognition, as we both have, we would not be together today, as nothing else had allowed us to begin to address the imprints and issues which were keeping us separate from ourselves and each other.
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
A beautiful truth expressed about love “Equal, unwavering, not wanting anything for itself.”. How amazing it would be to live this everyday and I know it’s possible, particularly because I have the reflection of someone who does – Serge Benhayon, and now also many of his students.
Is it not the greatest gift to meet a person who simply love unconditionally and with that opens up the possibility to love unconditionally as well?
Gorgeous to read of the impact Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon have had on your relationship with Josephine, ‘If I had not come to this opening and self recognition, as we both have, we would not be together today, as nothing else had allowed us to begin to address the imprints and issues which were keeping us separate from ourselves and each other.’
I can so relate to reacting and rejecting something for whatever the reason – because it is incomprehensible, or in many of my experiences through jealousy and comparison – yet, when we start to feel the truth in what we are seeing and allow ourselves to feel what we are feeling, we start to surrender. And as I write now, I can feel how the spirit likes to translate and swap ‘surrender’ which actually is a very beautiful thing, with ‘defeat’ in wanting to staunchly avoid this process and usually ends up in a struggle and angst.
Movements convey a true we can trust.
“Equal, unwavering, not wanting anything for itself.” A beautiful and very clear definition of what true love is. Thank you Alan.
To have a reflection in my life of what is possible inspires me no end… there is nothing in life that we are given that we cannot overcome as what is offered is simply the next step to master in our evolution.
The simplicity and beauty of what happens when we are presented with truth. Thank you Alan.
For me it is the opposite to your experience Alan.
“Serge’s unshakeable certainty was quite inflammatory to me.”
For me Serge’s unshakeable certainty in what he knows to be true is a balm for my soul. Here at last is someone who has the road map back home. Which is not this plane of life but far greater and grander planes of life. To me we can use the word ‘hell’ to describe our current way of life here on Earth.
Thank you Alan, despite your initial resistance, I loved to read how open you were to observing the changes in Josephine and how your resistance melted away.
Absolutely Gill. It is wonderful to read how Alan was willing to remain open to what Josephine was embracing and whats more have the willingness to share it here in this blog. And what an inspirational couple these two are and continue to be for everyone.
Yes Gill, it was lovely to read how Alan’s resistance melted away.
What Serge Benhayon knows we all know but are choosing not to know.
I did not get Serge straight away and felt quite angry towards him, where this anger came from I never established. My feeling towards Serge have completely changed as I have learnt to trust him and therefore trust myself that actually I do know so much more than I was willing to admit to myself, it was easier to play dumb and know nothing.
I have written often ‘thank God for Serge Benhayon and in this case I can also write thank God for Josephine and you as the inspiring couple you are!
At times the love that Serge Benhayon is presenting is a little challenging as it touches the held ideals and beliefs that made life comfortable and relatable. And then when this happens we feel attacked and start to feel unsafe, but that is exactly what is needed to open up to the vast amount of love that is available to us.
But the consistent reflection of love is unresistible, it only takes some time to lower the fences and stop the fight something we all know from our inner most is from the origin we are from.
The way you describe Josephine committing to choose love and reflecting love back to you is gorgeous. I feel very blessed to have you both in my life for the love, care and committment you reflect back to me.
Deep down we are all yearning for tenderness and deep love in our lives, it is only that we have to allow for the many tight and hard layers that we have wrapped around ourselves to cope with the world to break open to let the love that we feel and are be felt and lived.
To ‘crack’ through all our strategies, protection and facades to the innermost quality of love that is our natural, is the simplest and hardest thing to do. Serge Benhayon is the one that consistently shows us the actual fact that it is super simple.
“real love feels like. Equal, unwavering, not wanting anything for itself…” Humility, humbleness, Grace, Ease, Surrender-ness and more…. Standing in the face of real love has the capacity to completely disarm even the most stubborn of attitude… If it doesn’t, then what is observed is a complete exposure of everything anti-love, what is felt is self-implosion of the full force of disharmony.
My experience is that Serge offers love in and with everything he says, writes, presents and in every movement he makes. Each of us gets the opportunity to choose that for ourselves and live it in every relationship we have. What more could we want? It doesn’t mean I can always do the same for I have my addictions, but I do have a choice.
Well said, Richard. My head can easily deal with Serge’s book, but doesn’t remember it either. But that doesn’t matter, because what is written there goes in as a kind of greater understanding of a whole lot of things in and around me, and that keeps expanding as I read it over years later. I love the books, my whole body sings with joy when I read them, every word resonates in harmony with my whole being. It recognises the truth.
How we respond is our responsibility and that will determine what the outcome is not anything outside of ourselves can ever be blamed. Because it is our choice to react or to observe that makes the difference in any situation.
Thanks Alan, not sure I would still be married had we not applied what I saw my wife was doing with her own healing. There was no denying the positive change the principles of Universal Medicine offered her and in turn both of us. I don’t want to imagine the trajectory my life and our relationship was on and thankfully I had enough humility to see that what we where doing wasn’t work for us both, so ‘gave UM a go’. 15 year on and our relationship is stronger that it has ever been, I am a darn site happier to boot – everyone wins.
It’s a great point you make at the end about “the imprints and issues which were keeping us separate from ourselves and each other.”, and how this affects to relationships, because when we are separate from ourselves we aren’t able to bring who we are or our love into relationships.
So any moment of discord in a relationship can bring us straight back to our relationship with ourselves and from here we can change and heal – this is the magic of responsibility.
What a blessing and joy to come to this point together, the truth of a relationship starts from a solid foundation.
Haha – great review Richard. I on the other hand devoured them but they had the strangest effect on me in that I kept dozing off while reading… and when I came to, I felt completely rewired and would keep reading until the next kip befell me. These days I can read them and not only not fall asleep, I feel expansive beyond measure simply by connecting to all that is presented through them. Totally reawakening!
To be met by true love in all its beholding, melts even the ‘toughest’ of hearts, for it is the truth of who we are in our deepest essence. Who can resist that?
Such a powerful, short and very clear account how true love works. And I just love the grace coming through I will repeat just one phrase that I find truly amazing in itself; ‘What enabled me to get through this was the burgeoning reflection of love that I was receiving just by being around Josephine and her gentle engagement with the work.’
In our current world it is rare to come face to face with what you recognised as what “real love feels like. Equal, unwavering, not wanting anything for itself.” Such a gift when we do have such an experience, because in one instance we are reminded and confirmed in our own true divine essence which most of us have for a long time abandoned. A real blessing for humanity that there are those like Serge Benhayon who live this reflection consistently and many more who are every day inspired to also live and reflect the same.
A beautiful account of how being open to love changes everything.
This is an exquisitely honest account of being humbled and opened by love.
The ‘problem’ with our first encounter with the esoteric is that it lies in a different dimension compared to the one we are and we judge it from our own reality thinking, illusionary, that it is it. That is why, it feels impenetrable, weird. That we what we feel, though, is what we are standing on and not the esoteric.
What a blessing you sharing is Alan, and may I add that at first I also resisted going to see Serge Benhayon but like you once the level of love was felt by me I also cracked and started to cry.
Thank God (and Serge) you did “come to this opening and self recognition”. We are now all blessed by the love you and Josephine share and emanate.
I second that Nikki, we are absolutely blessed by the exquisite presence of both Josephine and Alan, I just adore these two awesome beings.
It’s clear that the honesty and love that you both have sustained, along with Serges’ reflections, have been key in the deepening and transformation of your relationship.
I am becoming more and more aware that both our honesty and our humbleness equally support our healing process regarding any experience exponentially.
So beautiful, so simple. To feel the gentleness and love from another and to respond.
I too found Serge’s books very hard to read. To my lineally trained mind, it felt like it was skipping points and not taking me from a ‘start’ to an ‘end’. I was also annoyed that there was much repetition and I kept thinking ‘I am sure I have read this bit before’ – but I persisted and waded through as I was somewhat able to recognise something in there despite all my reaction, and I am so glad I did persist.
Love is such a short journey, so why keep getting lost from it? Could it be the thing between our ears is in the driver’s seat and hates asking for directions?
This is the way to truly change the world, walking the talk, “What enabled me to get through this was the burgeoning reflection of love that I was receiving just by being around Josephine and her gentle engagement with the work.” At times we attempt to talk people into things, convince them or ‘help’ them and yet the single most powerful thing to do is to live what you are seeing needs to change and allow everything else to witness that ‘living’, quite simple really.
This is a heart felt piece of writing Alan, thank you for sharing.
That ‘real love feels like… equal, unwavering, not wanting anything for itself’ is vastly different from the emotionally based love that we think is what we want in this day and age.
A short summary of love, packed with so much wisdom and yet simplicity. Alan, you are a master of words in a very eye-twinkling and delightful way.
A simple, profound and honest account thank you Alan.
Well-said and very true Alan – the power of reflection and the ripple effect it has on others is a beautiful reminder for us all.
The vulnerability, honesty and humbleness in your words are very touching Alan. I can really feel how when your ‘heart cracked’ it allowed your gorgeous, tender true self to come pouring out.
Alan I love the honesty and openness in your blog, so many people feel like you and in fear walk away. But your openness allowed you to see the beauty in what was in front of you. Unconditional love, truth and honesty.
In a world that is full of scruples and imperfections I just love your honesty Alan.
And more please Alan! Your expression is worth the read!
” – and Serge’s unshakeable certainty was quite inflammatory to me.” That’s Truth, and the exposure of what NOT truth is. Through Serge and Universal Medicine I have found just how far I have lived away from Truth, and love. Ideals and beliefs are so hidden and become the way we just live. What I love about Serge and Truth is the more you live it the more it is unshakeable!
What a tender testimonial for Serge Benhayon and deep appreciation for the work you have both done to be together today.
This is simply beautiful Alan, nothing touches the heart more than love that is . . . “Equal, unwavering, not wanting anything for itself.”.
Raw, real and stunning. Before Universal Medicine you don’t even realise there are imprints that keep us separate from ourselves and others that need to be addressed and then after, you wonder how you got by without knowing it before. A transformational and incredible experience…. based on honesty of which you clearly have in spades. Love it.
When we have an issue with love, we of course have an issue with anyone who reflects love. And as this applies to almost everyone of us human beings, it is quite understandable that at first many have an issue with Serge Benhayon or Universal Medicine as they promote love. However once you get over that hurdle and allow love back into your life, this initial resistance turns into immense appreciation for all.
I love the recognition of Serge’s unshakable nature. That is what the world is asking for. Not unshakable as in “I am right” but the certainty he has in what he delivers is in fact true (and in which I fully agree).
Alan, this is a very gorgeous testimony to the healing power of true love. You just can’t bottle this but you can fill your heart full of it (it is already) and let it all burst forth. For too long we have lived a measured life, building walls to guard our hurts and protect our weaknesses, when all the while the elixir that truly heals is found deep within us all.
Thank you Alan, in the end it always comes back to how much we are willing to feel and see what is really going on, as it is so easy to hold on to our ingrained behaviours.
Alan I only can agree as Serge Benhayon helped me in my relationship as well: “. . . as nothing else had allowed us to begin to address the imprints and issues which were keeping us separate from ourselves and each other.”
Beautiful Alan. Knowing you today and hearing how you were once very skeptical is quite healing in many ways.
Simply beautiful Alan and straight to the point.
Thank you Alan for all you have shared. You make an interesting point about how the work of Universal Medicine supported you and Josephine “to address the imprints and issues which were keeping us separate from ourselves and each other.” This really highlights for me that we can on the surface be “together” as a couple, but not truly have any connection, and to do this we need to first be connected to ourselves. Serge Benhayon has presented a whole new way to look at relationships and love, and like yourself I am deeply appreciative of this.
Nothing like recognising what real love is to crack a nut! Such inspiration from the honesty in your blog, Alan.
That is beautiful Alan, a joy to read. It is beautiful to hear of a mans story, that he can let love in and accept more love in his life simply by the love he feels around him. As men we are so guarded a lot of the time, and are driven to not feel that we have hardened ourselves, literally. Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine have inspired many.
“I now can say – real love feels like. Equal, unwavering, not wanting anything for itself.” Thank you Alan for sharing with us how Josephine melted your heart to prepare you to feel the power of love that cracked your heart when you met Serge Benhayon. Being met in unconditional true love is Divine.
Thank you for sharing Alan, well worth the read.
Being reserved towards love in any aspect can leave one yearning for more.
Thank goodness we have the ability to finally ‘crack’ and let love be a central pillar in our lives.
Simple, short, lovely and true 🙂 beautiful sharing.
Your matter-of-fact honesty is exquisitely refreshing to feel Alan, thank you for sharing you.
This time it feels like you found True love.
Straight and to the point Alan. Seeing the love that you two live now, I find it hard to contemplate that you ever lived anything else.
This is such a beautiful confirmation of everything that Serge Benhayon brings to humanity and how he inspires us to tap into that same unwavering love that we truly all are.
Wow, Fantastic Alan! So raw, loving, honest and powerful.
“I had my first direct exchange with Serge Benhayon, my heart just ‘cracked’ and I sobbed in recognition of what – I now can say – real love feels like. Equal, unwavering, not wanting anything for itself”
Awesome, thank you
Brilliantly concise, and your meaning could never be misconstrued. Alan, you never waste a word…
Alan, thankyou for sharing your ’cracking open’ with us and how you so aptly describe the virtues of love – ‘Equal, unwavering, not wanting anything for itself’. Often it is not until we experience what love is, that we realise what it is not.
Thank you, Alan. This is beautiful. It reminded me of the first time I saw you a few years ago. It was very early in the morning on a very cold winter day. All I saw was you walking into the lounge, and out through the door with your camera; you then came back in and took care of your boots. Nothing special in what you did. But how you did it felt very special. There was so much care and gentleness, and I could feel how you were holding everyone, everything and yourself at that moment in equal love. It was very inspiring to watch and be in the presence of a man like that.
The only thing stronger than love is love lived.
And love that is lived, is love shared with all.
Awesome !
I so enjoyed reading this Alan and knowing both you and Josephine, having observed your lives over a number of years, I see how even now, the love you both have for each other, in all that you do, and for those around you is even greater than it was when you initially wrote this. You are both an inspiration to me in so many ways. Thank you for being you.
This is so beautiful Alan. Your blog reminds me how powerful the reflection of another can be when the impulse is love. You, Serge Benhayon and Josephine are a huge inspiration to many including me.
Over the time that I have been involved with Universal Medicine I have observed the same unwavering love from Serge Benhayon and his family. As the years have passed they have shown me time and again that the quality I feel in the way that they live and express is in me too, asking for me to simply express and ignite it in every moment.
Alan thank you for such a beautiful and honest sharing, I love the way that Josephine’s reflection had a powerful effect on you and inspired you to be open to what Universal Medicine offered.
The power of Serge Benhayons love and truth is enough to win almost everybody over
Thanks Alan for your open sharing. I have taken my time to accept what was presented in Serge Benhayon’s books which clearly reflects where I was at initially and where I am at now. At first I tried to read them like I would read a novel, expecting to sit down and read a chapter or so at a time. But I found that I could often only read a page or even a paragraph at a time and even then struggled sometimes to understand what was being presented. Over time with a re-read I have found I am reading more with a feeling of being connected to my body and noticing the accompanying feelings with certain words or sentences etc. Now I find the books a real treasure trove and often just pick one off the book shelf and randomly open at a page and go to wherever my eyes are drawn to. Invariably I find something very relevant and supportive to me regarding what is happening in my life at that time. Simply priceless!
Awesome to feel how you allowed yourself to approach things in your own time and in your own way Alan and what a beautiful reflection of love your partner offered you as it allowed you to feel what was possible for you.
Alan I found your article to actually be quite astounding. The non imposing way Josephine was with you, the way that your heart opened when you met Serge and then the clarity with which you now see all that has happened and indeed could have happened. For me your words are yet another example of the thousands of trans formative miracles that happen as a result of people connecting to love. Serge Benhayon presents that love as a lived way.
Thankyou Alan for sharing the fact that by you and your partner embracing Universal Medicines presentations and modalities it supported and deepened your relationship with each other.
A very honest and powerful sharing. It’s beautiful to read the impact the loving reflection from Josephine had on you, and how making yourself more open to love strengthened the foundation of your relationship.
Simple, loving and true.
Thanks for sharing Alan.
This is a really beautiful comment that I can relate to “my heart just ‘cracked’ and I sobbed in recognition of what – I now can say – real love feels like. Equal, unwavering, not wanting anything for itself.” I recall my very first few healing sessions, the ‘stop’ and ‘holding’ that I felt were deep to my bones. After a healing session I would often go and sit in my car, and actually feel how great it felt to not have a noise in my head or a buzz in my body and constant activity of ‘what’s next’ – and instead I just felt totally myself, with no need to do or try or be anything else.
Alan, I love your sense of humour and way of writing. It communicates so much!! Our initial experience with Serge’s written materials was very similar. Incomprehensible jargon, difficulty to read (which challenged my pride since I was capable to read very complicated things), and even more, utmost difficulties to say what was that which I have read all about. I can really feel how that reflected how lost I was then and how much I did not even acknowledge that this was the case.
Your blog is powerful in its simplicity – as is love itself. As you say: ‘Equal, unwavering, not wanting anything for itself’. Thank you for sharing your love, Alan.
Hi Alan, my feeling is that when we have been hurt enough we tread very cautiously when we get close to the truth again. Serge Benhayon’s certainty to love was what I needed, because I knew I had it in me too but wasn’t that confident holding on to it as he was.
Revelation: “Love does not want anything for itself.” Wow, how exposing is this for the emotional so-called love that we learn from childhood on through hollywood-movies, music-industry and what is lived around us.
This is beautiful Alan, especially how you appreciated the changes in Josephine from attending Universal Medicine events. Some people may definitely find some of what Serge Benhayon presents a little confronting – he teaches self responsibility, self-care and love for all equally – these are topics that many would rather avoid looking at in their lives.
Thank you Alan for such a gorgeous and honest sharing that brought tears to my eyes. Deeply touching.
Yes Serge Benhayon certainly has a way of “cracking open hearts” – perhaps it is Heart Sergery. What I have experienced is how much most of us carry hurts or wounds to a greater or lesser extent, so when we interact there is some protection. Serge does not interact with this form of protection and is completely open and that is what we feel. Serge may not even say much and appears very normal, but the energetic experience of someone being so open is deeply, deeply touching and has cracked many a heart open or in my case melted it open!
This is lovely to feel the power of just one person being loving with another, supporting them to unfold their morel
A gorgeous unfolding of you Alan. Thank you for sharing. I agree that the love that Serge Benhayon embodies is unwavering and not needing recognition, approval or for you to ‘get it’. It just is there to be felt, that we too are this love.
What stands out for me is that you sobbed at your first meeting with Serge Benhayon, you let yourself feel what was there. Later, you had the honesty and courage to recognise that you felt real love. An inspiration to any man finding out what love is. Kudos to Josephine for simply being the love that she is and not pushing you or making you wrong for finding out in your own way, in your own time.
Thank you Mark (and Alan and Josephine before you). I agree this is a great example of how true love is infectious; you cannot hide from love and your resistance is cracked eventually!!
I was particularly struck by three words in this beautiful blog, and they were, ‘quietly’, ‘simply’ and ‘gentle’. They say a lot. Alan uses them to describe his wife Josephine and her engagement with Universal Medicine. They tell me of the love and respect that Alan has for his wife. It is lovely to hear a man describe his wife using these words, and they tell me a lot about the wisdom of Josephine, and her love for her husband, in that she let Alan come to his own conclusions about Universal Medicine. She let the love that she was building in her body speak for itself. Beautiful.
This is what also stood out for me Catherine, that there was no pushing or promoting or big deal made about Universal Medicine. In the past I have made the mistake of bringing what Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon present into my life as a set of rules, that was convenient for me to control my life. My partner saw through this, and assumed this was what I learned from Universal Medicine, which would naturally push people away (unless of course they were also looking for convenient rules). I am now re-learning how to make choices that are 100% supportive and loving for me, although I may be doing many of the same things, my intention and quality is different, and this actually does make a huge difference.
I took had this whole feeling of no push and how Alan was held as he came to his own conclusions, and how Josephine explored the work in a way that was about taking responsibility for her and not pushing it onto another. And then when Alan describes how he broke open on feeling the love he was held in by Serge Benhayon, it continued the holding, and shows so clearly what love is – a holding of another, and an openness to engage.
Thanks Alan for your very simple and very powerful story… its great to hear when love wins through the protection.
I love your description of true love ‘Equal, unwavering, not wanting anything for itself. Beautiful and thank you for sharing so honestly.
Alan this brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing the truth.
A beautifully honest sharing, thank you Alan. I too, have been brought to tears at times by this true love that I have felt by Serge Benhayon.
I love the honesty in your blog Alan, I knew straight away that I had touched on something amazing when I heard one of Serge Benhayon’s daughters give a presentation, but like you found the books a challenge to begin with. When I tried to analyse the text in my mind I struggled, but I continued to read the books because of how they made my body feel – instantly more relaxed and gentle. These became / have become one of my tools to a steadier more gentle me.
I was not sceptical about Serge as you were Alan, because he talked such common sense that if he stood in Hyde Park Corner and talked any passer by would get it. However, I will admit I used to struggle with the books and for a while in the beginning I could not pass page 50 – hard as I tried. I understood all the words, but I later realised that those words were not intended for our heads – it’s the hearts that are to do the reading – hence they generally do not appeal to anyone who is ‘heady’ and with no gender discrimination it seems to be more the case with men – but I am happy to be corrected if this is incorrect.
I found your honesty very touching.
Alan – thank you so much for this most touching report of your coming into your inner-heart. Very touching.
Yes it always touch me too to read the story of someone returning home after being away for a long time.