Simply put, without exception or exclusion, my relationships with people have developed a quality of openness, honesty and love that I express from within me. Prior to attending some of the workshops and presentations by Serge Benhayon, I was sometimes cold and calculating. Even my own mother would agree with this. This just meant that I was protective of myself and had hardened myself against ‘life’ and some of its hurtful experiences.
The work of Serge Benhayon is not some “follow the guru to salvation”, but a presentation of information about how I can begin to honestly look at myself, very deeply, and continue to do so, even when things seemed to be going well in my life. There is a level of responsibility that I have taken for myself, my actions and relationships, and an honesty that I am able to express, that was simply not present before. I was choosing to hide behind a wall or a mask that to most people looked pretty good. But all along I felt the sadness, the lack of connection and the loneliness that I was creating.
Now when I meet people, I get a sense from them that they feel the natural warmth and loveliness of me, as fully and completely as I know myself to be without reservation. My relationship with my mother is a great example. As I have mentioned, it was extremely cold and distant. Now, we share warmth and a connection that in truth is what we both so deeply wanted, but somehow could not get to. When I was able to let go of my pride, defensiveness and hurt, I was able to embrace Mum with an enormous sense of love, gratitude and warmth that felt so natural to share. In fact it feels unnatural to hold it back. My relationship with Mum is not perfect, but it certainly feels amazing. For this, I am so grateful to Serge for presenting what helped me understand and thus experience for myself.
This experience of love within my family has created a foundation for me to carry that love and warmth to all of my relationships, without exclusion. Don’t get me wrong, there are still challenges to face, but the focus becomes not on what the other person is doing or not doing, the focus becomes on how do I feel about myself and as to whether I hold that same deep level of honesty and responsibility for the choices that I make… Am I choosing to be hard, the ‘expert’, the ‘helper’ or am I choosing to connect with and express the simple truth about how I feel? Am I choosing to ‘put on a front’, or am I choosing to be free of that lie within myself? By making this choice every day, my life seems so much easier, smoother, joyful and fulfilled. I am not putting energy into something that is not true and drains me just to keep up appearances.
My mother and immediate family can see the changes also. Mum often comments on how radiant and ‘great’ I look. She can see the sparkle in my eyes all the time. And I can see that growing in her also.
By Marianna Masiorski (39)
86 thoughts on “Mum & Me: She can See the Sparkle in my Eyes”
Marianna, thank you for your sharing and one that is inspiring in a self reflective way – allowing us to feel how our lives are and how they have evolved over the years. It matters not the speed at which change happens nor the changes that happen, so long as there is an openness to this fact of being honest and allowing that deep inner quality and warmth to come through.
When we are connected the depth and sparkle in our eyes is hard to deny, and likewise when we are disconncted then the first place you can often see this is in the eyes. The body and its posture as well as its movements also gives away how much of ourselves we are living, in other words how much of the connection are we actually letting out for others to see…
Openness and honesty are key ingredients in any relationship especially starting with ourselves.
Once we cross the divide back to ourselves we then have have our love and warmth again to share with others.
An inspiring read, reminding us that we are here to be love, to live with love and care for ourselves, which then naturally radiates out to what we do and who we meet.
I agree – it feels unnatural to hold back. And I am so glad that I feel that way now, and that love has become more natural way of being for me.
Well said Fumiyo, and how strange that we have all learned to live with protection to such a point that that feels ‘normal’ to us, instead of the love that we are as being normal.
When we let go of our protections we can truly meet others as well as being truly met by them and this changes enormously the quality of our sharings.
To see the beauty in another is a real gift to come to and live by.
Being protective of oneself is not truly done through hardening but through movement, which also makes you realize that there is no need to do so anymore.
I love that what we do for ourselves we do for all others. The care, the kindness, the letting go of the expectations. To embrace those three choices and make them living movements we practice can offer a new body through which to experience the world.
And that is the key to life, to live in every moment with deep love and care for ourself which then will be brought to everything we do and everyone we meet, naturally so.
Who would NOT want that? Who would not want to be at ease in our bodies, have sparkle in our eyes with an openness to each other and life?
When we have a conversation with someone and we are not guarded in our expression there is a natural warmth that flows between those who are talking and there is also a beautiful holding to be felt too.
Changing a relationship for the better is not an easy task and not one that we see often happening. It does not only require tools that help us to re-imprint it, but also an absolute honesty regarding where is a relationship at, a register of how does it feel and a knowing that this state of being does not have to be.
“. . . the focus becomes not on what the other person is doing or not doing, the focus becomes on how do I feel about myself and as to whether I hold that same deep level of honesty and responsibility for the choices that I make… ” Imagine more and more people would live like this I am sure the world would look differently today.
I can relate to the fact that the more I drop the hardness, others see my sparkle and I see theirs growing too.
Great point Leigh, for the hardness is the protective layer we hold in place, and thus as it falls away there is nothing left but the sparkle to let out.
To live unprotected in the world requires us to take responsibility for how our hurts affect us, being aware of the patterns of how these play out, connecting to something deeper within and allowing this love to be expressed out.
Being cold and calculating is just a reaction to hurt or an attempt to protect us from being hurt. When we see through this fact and understand why we and others are doing it it totally diffuses its power over us all.
Thank you, Marianna, your sharing has prompted me to feel deeply into how I might still be allowing what is not to get in the way of me living who I am in true essence. It’s fascinating to feel the intricacy of survival mechanism I conjured up to feel less insecure in life while not being myself. I agree with you, even when things appear to be going well, looking at my life deeply and honestly is an on-going process.
I love how you have shared that choosing to reflect on how we are living does not end, not even when we are seemingly going ‘well’. For our responsibility in how we are choosing to live never ends, as we are constantly making choices about the quality in which we are living our lives. Living ‘well’ in one area of our lives does not equate to true fulfillment, unless we are living ‘true’ in all areas in our lives, as you have beautifully illustrated. And through self-honesty we develop a loving relationship with ourselves which then will guide us to know what feels true, and if the quality of life we are choosing truly fulfills us.
Yes Marianna, if we hold all as equals we can never go into our roles of ‘putting on a front’ or ‘helper’, or ‘expert’ as we that see all as a reflection for us to read and respond to accordingly.
Beautiful sharing Marianna. I can feel my life is changing in the same direction as yours. Love is the key in my interaction. As long as I don’t make it about me first, being obsesses if I do well and feel great.
Beautiful Marianna, when we take responsibility to be the love we are without the barriers of protection we get that sparkle in our eye that inspires those we meet to reconnect to their own sparkle.
This is so common in the world today, I can relate that I too used to be very protective, ‘I was choosing to hide behind a wall or a mask that to most people looked pretty good. But all along I felt the sadness, the lack of connection and the loneliness that I was creating.’ It is inspirational to see and feel people open up and be love.
The Universal Medicine teachings have been key to me learning to let go of old hurts and developing a loving relationship with myself and how this can beautifully transform and support our relationships to become more true.
I agree, without recognising that we bring hurts to the interactions we have in others, we will live the name blame and shame game.
It’s so true that if we ever have a ‘problem’ with another, the first place to look is to go within and take responsibility for why we are reacting.
I very much agree Marianna and great point to always remember to honestly take stock when things are going well.. I just experienced today how solid I felt with me but I did not back myself up enough to commit to myself to stay in this feeling. I felt something effect me that did not feel right so I dulled myself with nuts 🥜 from simply accepting where a situation was at out my control. I allowed something outside of me effect this absolute feeling of joy in me. If we do not take stock we are open to allowing abuse on ourself.
Too many of us today wear masks that may look good on the outside but are worn with the intention to hide not only what we do not want others to see and feel in us but also what we do not want to see and feel in ourselves.
Thank you Marianna, this what you share is so truly important start of starting a relationship with yourself : ”Don’t get me wrong, there are still challenges to face, but the focus becomes not on what the other person is doing or not doing, the focus becomes on how do I feel about myself and as to whether I hold that same deep level of honesty and responsibility for the choices that I make… ”
Love knows no barriers. The barriers are not love. Beneath these thick walls of protection we have built around our hurts, lives a love divine, as pure and pristine as the day that we were born. We need to learn how to see this inner sparkle in both ourselves and in others, despite what shadows may be cast in the way. You both are a gorgeous example of this.
Along with choosing to take responsibility of my choices and learning to express more honestly like you have, I have found that the greatest gift I have gained from listening to Universal Medicine presentations is having understanding. This has revolutionised my relationships with others and allowed for much greater depth in our connection for which I am eternally grateful.
Isn’t it great when we can let go of the fog we look through in life and see people for who they truly are behind whatever behaviour we before saw as it being who they are.
Lovely sharing Marianna! What I would like to add to this two lines “Am I choosing to ‘put on a front’, or am I choosing to be free of that lie within myself? By making this choice every day, my life seems so much easier, smoother, joyful and fulfilled.” is, that through the teachings of Serge Benhayon I was at first able to see that I make a choice every second! To become aware of this brings in the ability to choose consciously.
When we take responsibility for our lives opportunities open up for us and more choices are available.
Thank you Marianna for a really great story, it is amazing the changes that happen to our lives as we open up and take responsibility for our choices and choose to let our love out to ourselves and others and be open to let their love in.
Marianna, you wrote: “. . . the focus becomes not on what the other person is doing or not doing, the focus becomes on how do I feel about myself and as to whether I hold that same deep level of honesty and responsibility for the choices that I make.” That is really a very good ingredient for a true relationship. Thank you for sharing it.
“The work of Serge Benhayon is not some “follow the guru to salvation”, but a presentation of information about how I can begin to honestly look at myself, very deeply, and continue to do so, even when things seemed to be going well in my life.” It allows for a wider and deeper look at and way of life, learning to take full responsibility of every detail in our life, step by step.
And it is in fact the opposite to ‘follow a guru’ what students of The Livingness study and learn – to take responsibility in full.
Great to read your story Marianna, your line “Am I choosing to be hard, the ‘expert’, the ‘helper’ or am I choosing to connect with and express the simple truth about how I feel.” highlighted for me the simplicity of just being ourselves in relationships and how this truly nurtures a loving connection between people.
Yes, letting go of the roles allows us to be ourselves and connect with another for who they are too. I have noticed this can make us fearful of being open to abuse yet I have also noticed how much more true the relationships are and that abuse is rarely the outcome. Moreover, when we attache to the roles and the power we can have over another, abuse if far more prevalent.
Seeing through the facades of others is simple when we see the facade we put on ourselves in certain situations. Beautiful to read Marianna how you are and the joy you live by dropping your guard and also the amazing light others can so easily see and feel from you now.
Lovely to re-read your words Marianna especially on a day where I felt myself become guarded and hurt by the world. What you share here reminds me to always bring it back to how I feel within myself, when another acts in a way I deem hurtful is this not a reflection that I too am not choosing to be loving towards myself. There is always room to go deeper with our connection to self and when we do we open the door for closer connections with others.
Beautiful and honest blog Marianna. This hardness and cold front so many of us choose to put on is not really us, as you share it is a form of protection while the hurts are held tightly in our body. It is gorgeous to read your openness and joy is what you are choosing allowing everyone to see the shine and sparkle in your eyes and in your body. It inspires others to choose this too.
“The loneliness that I was creating.” These are the words that leap out for me, the fact that the loneliness I used to feel so much of the time was of my own creation as I kept myself shut down from truly connecting to others. Serge Benhayon has inspired me to come out of my self-imposed hard shell and meet myself and others in the fullness and love that I am. I too have chosen to put the sparkle back in my eyes.
All unwanted behaviour in this world always comes from a hurt. It comes from a reaction or protection mechanism so a person can stay in their bubble to not feel what is really going on for them, as it may feel like it is too painful to visit.
Isn’t this the answer, when we choose not to deal with our issues aren’t we saying that I’m ok with holding onto them even if it means abusing another.
We have deep responsibility and the sooner we embrace that the sooner we will live a future we are all destined to live.
Marianna, you have shared so much in your blog and given me plenty to reflect on in terms of where I am still going into self protection and hardness and how this dulls down my ‘sparkle’. Thank you, it was very timely!
Self-protection is a false sense of protection. I agree Gilesch it keeps us separate from others and it certainly dulls down our ‘spark’, as love and joy is in sharing and expressing this forth, feeling the expansion as we connect with ourselves and others openly and fully. This is what ignites and fires up our inner ‘sparkle’ allowing it to burst through and shine onto others too.
Thank you Marianna for a very inspiring and beautiful sharing. I have learnt through the support of Universal Medicine to drop the guard I was carrying to protect myself from getting hurt, which becomes very draining and kept me shutdown to experiencing an openness and warmth with others. I now enjoy a relationship with myself where I appreciate and accept myself and it is forever deepening and the best part is the ‘flow on effect’ where I am inspired to share this love and warmth equally with others.
Beautiful Blog Marianna. I really like how you broke apart those things that keep us separated like ‘putting on a front’, playing the ‘helper’ and so forth. That was really nice to read.
What a brilliant and honest piece of writing. I felt it brought to the fore our great responsibility (if we so choose it) to be honest with ourselves about the way we live and whether or not this represents the truth of who we are.
Just like you Marina I too have found that since attending presentations by Universal Medicine I am far more understanding, accountable and accepting of why my life in the past unfolded the way it did. More importantly I take far more responsibility for the quality of my life now and what is presently happening to me in my day to day life simply because of the choices I make now and have made in my past.
This is soo beautiful, I resonated with the line asking whether we go hard in our roles as teacher/helper etc. and also I felt your responsibility in letting go of what the other person does or does not do (in interactions/relationships) and instead making it about how we ourselves choose to be! Great!!
Very beautiful Marianna. Thank you for sharing the questions you ask yourself when you face challenges, they are very supportive for me, as I can still get caught wanting to make it about what the other person is doing that may be irritating me, instead of bringing the focus and responsibility back to me for how I am feeling. I am only at the mercy of other people and the outside world if I choose to be… I can always make a choice to bring it back to me.
Very honest sharing Laura. In bringing awareness to why we react to certain situations or people, by taking responsibility for our reactions is an awesome way to learn and evolve.
Thank you Marianna, for a lovely sharing. I have hidden myself away most of my life in doing the so called good and being the helper. Since hearing Serge Benhayon’s presentations I have come to know me, more and more, and the deep love I have within me. It is a great joy for me to open up and share this love with others.
I can so confirm what you are sharing here, as I have been very protected in my life, which lead me to being distant, withdrawn and really hard in my relationship to myself and others. Particularly the relationship to my mother was a very difficult one. Through the presentations by Serge Benhayon, I have discovered my love for people and the warmth in my heart and a way to connect to people (and my mother!). The relationships I have today are beyond what I could have imagined possible.
It’s amazing how walls, division and separation can be easily created when we hold onto our hurts not allowing our hearts to open and connect. Our relationships suffer because of our choice to withdraw, be distant but like you shared Judith we can reconnect to ourselves, open our hearts and therefore reconnect deeply in our relationship too once we choose to break down these barriers we’ve put up. Everything is a choice and our choices can suppress us or evolve us.
Thank you for this very inspiring sharing, Marianna. My relationship with my mother has also changed over the past few years. I lived far away from my family for many years. Initially I was very excited to ‘re-imprint’ my relationship with them but I didn’t realise that I was coming from a place of being hurt, projecting that onto them – especially my mother, wanting to change her – and at times things got volatile to say the least. It is only since I started to understand and appreciate her as my equal, a woman who has made her choices to the best of her ability throughout her life, there has been more willingness from both ends to allow honesty and vulnerability to be shared between us. It has been a humbling, yet very beautiful process for me.
The sparkle in your eyes – how yummy this feels, Marianna. After two years of working with Serge Benhayon it is now my daily medicine to look in the mirror and enjoy the sparkling in my eyes for some moments. Now starting to enjoy the same light in the eyes of the ones close to me. And we just got started!
Yes, our eyes are so telling, they let us know how we are feeling because the image we receive is felt by our bodies first and then our brain translates that. The more we look in the mirror and accept all that is before us, the more at ease we are in our own bodies and the more our eyes sparkle.
It was wonderful to read how your relationships with friends and family expanded once you took responsibility for the choices you made.
It is beautiful to read how you have been inspired by Serge Benhayon to be honest and responsible in your relationships – with yourself, your family and all others.
Totally true Marianna, Serge Benhayon’s presentations are quite unique. Never before heard of someone sharing something relevant with no need, expectation, desire or investment attached to it.
Thank you Marianna and Eduardo, I agree, the unequivocal nature of what Serge Benhayon bring to humanity with so much harmony and undeniable truth, all of which is paramount for humanity to evolve back to being the Sons of God.
It was really beautiful to read about how you have deepened your relationships with your mother. Attending the Universal Medicine presentations inspired me to look at and address my issues and as a result the relationship with my mother has also transformed exponentially and beautifully so, and for this I am enormously grateful.
It is inspirational to see and feel the way Serge Benhayon is with everyone, and that’s absolutely everyone. From that I myself am still learning to not be judgemental or closed with anyone I meet, for the difference I and they feel when I don’t is remarkable.
Your self responsibility leaps off the page – it’s inspiring to read – thank you 🙂
Absolutely Meg, I agree, responsibility for all we do is all we have to do! As Marianna so aptly portrays her mother is evolving just because of the loving reflection she is getting, this is true responsibility and is so simple with no imposition.
‘Responsibility for all we do is all we have to do’ – this is such a great line Greg, life is so simple – be responsible in everything you do. Responsibility is a game changer!
Thank you Marianna and Meg, I agree, when we take responsibility the simple rules of life that we live by changes.
This is so beautifully expressed Marianna. It is amazing to feel that loneliness has nothing to do with how many friends or people we interact with and everything to do with how we feel about ourselves and we make a choice to express the love we feel and let others love us.
It is so true that when we let go of our defences we allow not only ourself freedom to just be expressing from how we feel but also allows other to do the same. This creates such beautiful openess for a real connection. We are just too scared to let our guard down and then everyone misses out. This is so beautiful to read and feel Marianna. I love your expression of how your mum can see the sparkle in your eyes.. that’s something that can’t be put on and that is just amazing.
‘I was choosing to hide behind a wall or a mask that to most people looked pretty good. But all along I felt the sadness, the lack of connection and the loneliness that I was creating.’ This observation of how we hide a sadness behind a smiling face is something I know is true for me, and I’ve seen it in so many others… There is no true joy in it, just a facade.
Whereas when you describe your sparkling eyes I think ‘yes’, a sign that there is that life and soul in someone and it is always wonderful to see.
Hi Marianna, so lovely to feel your loveliness and sparkle in reading this, which I know is ever deepening and expanding within you. I particularly related to this: “but the focus becomes not on what the other person is doing or not doing, the focus becomes on how do I feel about myself and as to whether I hold that same deep level of honesty and responsibility for the choices that I make… ” This felt very powerful and for me it confirms how integral it is to allow myself to feel me instead of focusing on where others are at. Such a deep level of responsibility comes with choosing this way of living and I appreciate the ripple affect it has made in your connections with others, including me! Thank you.
This is so beautiful, thank you Marianna for sharing how your relationships have grown and expanded as you have dropped your defences and allowed others in. For me, my family have been some of the hardest people to truly be me with because of old hurts but it is so lovely to see how my relationships are evolving as I drop my defences and sparkle.
Beautiful to read, thank you.
Very inspiring, thanks. I too can relate to truly transforming relationships since I let go of the defenses I hid behind… it’s a wonderful way to be.
What a tender and loving relationship with your mother you have, how lovely is that. Love it – sparkle all your days. I love that word SPARKLE.
It’s very lovely to read that you’re being appreciated for who you are.
Whilst reading your piece Marianna little bells started to ring; I noticed how all the posts on this blog and other ones created by esoteric students, predominantly speak in first person singular. As a society we seem to have almost an aversion to that. We can see/hear in school playgrounds and even younger age in kindergartens: he hit me, she took my seat, he moved my chair, they took my ball, teacher doesn’t like me, mum loves my brother more than me… which then continues on in later life: she took my husband, he made me do terrible things, society has not been supportive to me etc etc. There just is not enough ‘I’s’ anywhere in sight. So your ‘me’, ‘myself’ and ‘I’ with the willingness to accept responsibility to make your life how you want it be to the best of your ability, stood out! Thank you for sharing.
I can totally relate to what you say here Marianna and have had similar experiences with my family and mother – yes the important thing here, and what you refer to – is that we are all learning and that mistakes are allowed – so often do we think (myself included) and judge ourselves that to be perfect is ‘the goal’ and that if we are not this, we are therefore no longer esoteric or doing well. This temporal ideal and drive for perfection, ‘failure is not an option’ ingrained approach that always makes us feel we are imperfect and as you say we are just in self-protection which just keeps us hard, exclusive to others and so we express in that way which in turn can come across as being critical and in judgement of others and their choices if they are not like us. But when we start to release ourselves from the ‘straight-jacket’ it is true – the sparkle in the (my) eyes can be seen!… And we are easier to be with and around.
Wow this is great, we can learn lots from this writing. As we have a tendency to judge and react to others for acting in a certain way (that is not friendly) and yet there is always so much more going on that we overlook. Why do we overlook (override) and judge straight away and then react to what is in front of us? Serge has brought to our attention that it is important to feel all of something before responding, and that way you will respond and not react. I love this way of living.
You are very right Amina. Serge Benhayon teaches us to be the observer, and that the greatest form of love is understanding which is the opposite of judging.