by Danielle Loveless
I recall being a very playful and joyful child, always wanting to have fun and play games, and anything could be made into a game. I also remember that something happened to this. I started to feel very sad, and I was confused as to why the rest of my family or world wasn’t the fun that I knew. I spent many hours laying under or in my bed crying for no reason other than ‘it hurts’. This crying went on until I was about 15 – then I toughened up to be an adult and do what everyone else was doing, to get on with life. I succeeded in everything possible in life – sports, school, boys, parties, alcohol, body image, the lot. I thought this was it and for nearly seven or eight years I never cried again. But that was it, I NEVER cried, not once, and I was very closed and unaffectionate. I never hugged people or felt comfortable when others hugged me. Instead I coped by partying very hard and working just as hard.
In my early 20’s I had a ‘quarter-life crisis’ – basically I had enough. I left my long-term relationship, took time off from my PhD, sold my house and moved. Within about a month I bumped into one man who was different. He was an accountant, and when I met him he hugged me. Later when I asked out of politeness how he was, he told me he was resting a lot, crying most evenings and getting used to a big change that had happened in his life. I was shocked that this stranger had honestly told me what was going on, and something so sensitive and personal. I knew in this moment that this guy was different. At the time I did not know that this man had been having Esoteric Healing and attending Universal Medicine courses for about 2-3 years.
At this point I was inspired to go deeper and look within. I was somewhat fearful of what I would find, and I cried and cried and cried for nearly 4-6 months. I cried about all the things in life that I did not understand, why others were also so unhappy underneath their smiles, why work seemed fake and no one wanted to do it, and why there was distance or separation in my family and friends even though we appeared to get along. I now realise the hurt that I felt deepest was that I felt this distance and separation in all of humanity – this still hurts now.
Seven years have now passed and I still often feel sad about how life seems around me, and I let myself cry. However, I now have some simple tools to deal with the deep hurts so they don’t get on top of me, but also so I don’t bury them down deep. I thank Universal Medicine for sharing with me these tools. For example, I now see that although life may not always feel very lovely, joyful or fun, I can connect to this lovely joy and fun on my inside (because I am this), and I don’t need the world to be this back to play with me. I understand that underneath another’s hardness they are lovely and playful just like me, but sometimes people reject this because of their own hurts about why others were not this lovely and joyful with them as a child.
So is life a set up? That we don’t get met in the loveliness we are as a child, because our parents have their own hurts, so we then feel hurt, bury our hurt and then can’t meet our own children for the loveliness that they are, and so on and so on. It felt like a set up for me until that accountant came along and met me from that loveliness that he chose for himself, so I had a moment to feel that I am still this. Yes, a complete stranger allowed me to open up and connect within, just because he had allowed himself to do the same. So someone must have done the same with him and someone before that person also, and so on and so on – the way life can truly be set up.
So I had my first profound healing and inner-connection at my accountant’s! Isn’t this saying something to how life is currently set up? It wasn’t any spiritual group, no church, no psychologist and not even in ten years of university. If there is any story to be told about the work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, this is the true one. Serge is one of very few people I know who meet absolutely everyone equally from this lovely and amazing place, to another’s loveliness. He does this with absolute consistency and commitment to love for humanity, allowing people to feel they are the same. I thank him deeply for re-starting this cycle. I also thank my accountant who continues to do an amazing job with my tax with a warm and open heart.
229 thoughts on “Is Life a Set Up?”
Some people feel things around them and do not like what they feel, and do not understand what they feel and so they do the only thing they know to do which is to harden themselves and simply numb out or ignore what they have felt. Many of us have done this, and I too can relate. But in the process we cut ourselves off from the inner warmth which is the very quality that actually keeps us alive and connected to each other. Once disconnected we are at the mercy of the hardness. To break this cycle is the greatest blessing and gift to self and all those around us.
When we stop to cry as we feel how ‘wrong’ the world is, there is an honesty in this. When we stop to feel the warmth inside, there is an loveliness in this. The more we allow ourselves to feel the warmth the more it holds us as we feel those things that are not pleasant.
Danielle, what an awesome sharing – I love how the simplicity of life and the joy we have experienced as children can actually be brought back for us to hold and enjoy – it is about going in rather than seeking it from the outside as you have shared, and also being able to connect to the same in another. Simple but so much more ‘doable’ when we have had someone reflect this truth to us too!
Living in connection with our essence, with ourself, is an important foundation to living with connection to everyone, ‘ there was distance or separation in my family and friends even though we appeared to get along. I now realise the hurt that I felt deepest was that I felt this distance and separation in all of humanity – this still hurts now.’
Thank you Danielle for sharing with such depth, sensitivity, honesty and rawness, it’s not common in the world, but that realness is so very healing for all of us. It’s inspired me to remember how I can make choices to also be that real with others and take a pause when I’m asked “how are you” to share more openly.
It is amazing how when we live who we truly are the impact this can have on another, ‘ a complete stranger allowed me to open up and connect within, just because he had allowed himself to do the same.’
Yes, we can always connect to who we truly are, and then inspire others, ‘I can connect to this lovely joy and fun on my inside (because I am this), and I don’t need the world to be this back to play with me.’
Truly deeply beautiful, no one is special, we all have the ability to re-connect to our innerheart and it only takes one meeting. A stranger or not. A power that we have when we connect.
Like dominoes, one knocking the other over, except we can lift each other up and out of the abyss when we are connected and a random encounter can shift so much for another when true love and warmth are there to be shown.
We do not come up with anything, we need another to reflect back for us to see what else is available.
We can say that the world is now set up to not be who you are, even though that our bodies know and we deep down know from inside out what the truth is – who we are. We are not raised by this knowing and intelligence and hence have become human beings who live far away from our very nature – our essence, that we know to be true about, and are capable of listening to. We just need a more wiser education.
We come to this world and get greeted by many hearts and many hurts. Unknowingly, we relate to both and both relate to us until our heart gets hurt and we become another one who relates to the world based on a heart and many hurts. Like everybody else, we try to work around this fact and fail in one way or another, yet not everybody calls it failure.
I smiled and smiled when you shared that your accountant had been so honest and talked about his crying and letting himself feel. I smiled in appreciation of his sharing and your sharing because it takes down the walls of “I’m alright Jack”. It was an honest conversation and you don’t know you are missing that till you meet someone and have one!
“So is life a set up? That we don’t get met in the loveliness we are as a child, because our parents have their own hurts, so we then feel hurt, bury our hurt and then can’t meet our own children for the loveliness that they are, and so on and so on.” And now it doesn’t have to be this way. Since meeting Serge Benhayon my life is very different – and my children and grandchildren get to experience a different way of relating.
Thanks, Danielle. This is a great example of how one moment of being fully ourselves can inspire another to open up to more. We are reflecting to one another all of the time, so we have to ask ourselves what it is we are reflecting?
And when we are met we can then meet people for who they truly are in essence and a whole different view of life can open up. Each of us can offer a different angle of reflection. We are all needed.
Beautiful to read, thank you Danielle. Really shows that how we live makes a difference for the people we meet.
It is ok to cry. It is not a sign of weakness but something very needed at times, to let go of the pain and connect deeper with ourselves. Allowing ourselves feeling what is there to be felt is a very courage and humble choice that melts away any contraction or defense, any hardness to protect us…it is the choice that we crave most, surrendering to love.
Instead of delivering generation through generation the contraction, sadness and the buried hurts from our child-hood we can deliver something greater, a loving reminder about the playfulness and fun that always remainded steady within us. This is what Serge Benhayon is doing today for Humanity, he inspires me deeply to do the same with the people around me.
Danielle I loved reading a living experience like yours where you could open up your heart, not just to this man but to yourself first. Sometimes I take for granted who I am and all what I can bring from my presence, but after reading you I can see how important it is, being present and meeting people in the loveliness they are because this simple fact can be life-changing for someone, and in these times I feel how much needed it is, being here in full. Thank you
Life can be a valley of sadness and self-destruction or a loving ongoing commitment with evolution. It is in our hands.
Beautiful to read how your interaction with one person, gave you enough inspiration to look more deeply within yourself, I too have felt that life is set up to keep us further away from who we truly are, but once we break that cycle, we are able to celebrate the loveliness of who we are, from the inside out.
I am so glad I read this. Really amazing how the simple power of speaking from our body can literally allow another to re-connect and speak from theirs
Any one person can change a life of another by means of reflection. That is why is so key to reflect others the love that we are.
It only took one person to change your world and it is your amazing blog which invites the readers to change their world as well.
Yes.. and being open to those opportunities is what makes them flourish in our life
A beautiful story Danielle. It doesn’t have to be a monuments occasion for us to be reminded of the simplicity of life. We are so bombarded by expectations through the constructs of society, yet really all it takes is a ‘so called’ stranger choosing to connect to himself to reflect back to us what’s possible. Amazing really what is out there for us to learn from.
I love the reflection that when someone starts to live their truth it is felt by others and then inspires them to do the same.
This just go to show the power one person connected to themselves has to inspire anyone who was open.
Well said Kathleen – one person can make a huge different to many and then the many can continue to inspire others further on from there and this is how the world changes (through inspiration and choice).
‘A quarter life crisis’ – I love it when we call it as it is.
I totally agree about life being a set-up where everyone gets trapped in the perpetual cycle where loveless choices get passed on from one generation to the next, yet how powerful the true reflection is, it has the power to put a stop to this. It’s absolutely gorgeous to feel how one by one another body joins to reflect true light back to everyone else.
Yes, it simply takes one and that reflection is enough to offer another the choice again.
“Although life may not always feel very lovely, joyful or fun, I can connect to this lovely joy and fun on my inside (because I am this), and I don’t need the world to be this back to play with me” – I so had to read this. It is true that the world is loveless, and in my reaction, I was enjoining and adding to that lovelessness all along. And this reaction was my choice – I never had to lose my love in the first place.
I think many of us walk around in a state of anxiety, stress or depression because of what we see and feel in the world, and we medicate ourselves from there in any number of ways. Re-allowing ourselves to feel again is key to achieving a new kind of acceptance of life – an acceptance that supports us to live with commitment and purpose, knowing that who we are and the quality we live in and with is exactly what will make a difference in the world.
What a beautiful meeting with the accountant. Many would say it was purely ‘chance’ that brought you to his door but I’m feeling there’s more to it than that. When the soul’s ready, the way forward will be given to us.
You so beautifully illustrate that the world which confirms us in the truest sense, is the world within us. Through our connection to our essence we are forever reflected the truth of who we are and guided to live the love we are born to live. And when we live this way for ourselves, from our hearts, we naturally shine the light of who we are, our true way of being for others to be touched and inspired by.
Hi Danielle, I must say I cried a lot also in this life about this life about the state of the world or so I thought at the time but now I see that all the time I was crying because I missed the connection with myself as through this connection I understand myself, others and life so much more. Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine inspired me to turn my life around. I rarely cry now as I know that there is no need to take things personally, to be hurt or to be shocked by the state of the world for there is work to be done.
So important the point you make here Danielle that we need to deal with our hurts and not bury them but from a place where we can observe them and not let them overpower or overwhelm us.
So true Danielle, it seems life is a set-up but that we can choose to be the one who breaks the cycle of being hurt and shut-down by healing and letting go the past. You are a living example of exactly that thank you!
This article speaks very loudly into the how we are effects others category. At a point where you were asking questions along walked someone who answered them with more then words. It broke further what was already being broken down. This article is a guide on how to make a change at any point in your life if it’s needed. I mean why at times when we seemingly have everything are we still feeling underwhelmed with life. If you look around a lot of people are like this and we have the never ending, ‘when I get this it will be better’ and then it never is and so another thing takes it’s place and we start chasing that instead. When will we stop is up to you but like in this article I stopped or was stopped and at first was forced but now choosing to look at why even the smallest thing doesn’t flow or feel great. It’s not true to say ‘life goes on without us’ because life is here for us. It’s not here for us to get things done in the sense we do them now but more, life is here for us to open up to more then just what is seen physically. The first part of this is to ask why?, why after doing xyz don’t I feel great and then pause to see the answer. Like in this article, when you start to ask questions life presents you with the next part of an answer.
By you allowing this joy and fun to naturally be there you are giving other people permission to feel and be the joy they too are, ‘I now see that although life may not always feel very lovely, joyful or fun, I can connect to this lovely joy and fun on my inside (because I am this), and I don’t need the world to be this back to play with me.’ It is lovely to feel this in another.
The very first time I felt truly touched to the depths of my heart, my knowing and understanding of the universe and beyond was with reading Serge Benhayon’s purple books. In restrospect, it was not even his physical person that I met, and yet, the feeling of connection so deep and so warm was felt. This has inspired me too that I may not be able to meet everyone in the world in person, but through the words that come through, the vibrations can be shared with many.
Life does seem to be a repeated setup, that happens generation after generation. We are all born with such openness joy and knowing of our connection to everything in the universe. We then lose it as we grow up, bombarded by energy that does not match or confirm what we feel. We then raise children with our hurts and given up-ness and the cycle repeats again. We need to be the ones who create a break in this loop and support the next generations to hold onto the preciousness they have as kids.
Keeping life simple and starting by bringing enough honesty to observe how we are in our day to day and then offering the life skills to be able to hold onto that awareness when all feels like it is falling apart.
When we are truly met we reconnect with our own inner being. Serge Benhayon is an inspiration and role model for us all to share the beauty of truly meeting ourselves and each other without judgement.
Yes I too remember how sad I felt when nobody wanted to play with me when I was a child. When I was older, I had my happy moments, but it was not until I met Serge Benhayon that true joy re-entered my life. Now at 60, my life is full of joy and playfulness which is my true essence.
It is so beautiful when we can let go of our protection and allow ourselves to be fully transparent and open with another and how healing this is to others and offers the space for a deeper connection.
What is it that stop us from being very real and very honest with each other? We think that we are going to be hurt and that we need to protect ourselves. You sharing Danielle, reveals the falsity in this approach. For what came with the honesty was understanding. The world very much needs a whole lot of understanding. It’s time to drop the guards, or should I say walls?
Great point Jennifer. The irony of this illusion is that in not being honesty with each other, we are actually living a lie.. and who in all honesty loves being lied to. Hence the greatest hurt in this case is in our dishonesty. The more we are honest with ourselves the more we bring honesty and openness to our relationships, offering greater opportunities to explore, connect and deepen our relationship with love and truth. For it is here that we feel the freedom to be who we really are.
I loved reading this 🙂
I observed over the Christmas period how people were hugging one another yet once Christmas was over and they were back to life as it was before Christmas there was no hugging to be seen. How come? Why is this? What has come out of this for me is that I also had a part to play in it. I had a choice to join in with others and hold back or express how I felt, opening my arms to offer and hug them.
“Yes, a complete stranger allowed me to open up and connect within, just because he had allowed himself to do the same. So someone must have done the same with him and someone before that person also, and so on and so on – the way life can truly be set up.” I love the ripple effect you illustrate here. It shows how simple life can be and how powerful we are with every choice we make, in that we can determine the quality we are in and thus contribute to this world.
This is the ripple effect that can change the whole world. We all remember one teacher, one person who truly connected with us, and how life-transforming this can be – and equally we have the potential to connect and open up to everyone we meet. If the world continues to operate from its seeming hurts, then we have a world guarded and protected, and in individualism – and this is what can be so devastating to feel if we too hold the same.
What I love about your sharing Danielle is how these people that came into your life i.e your accountant and Serge Benhayon, offered you inspiration for change and new choices and that is super cool. Thank you.
There is a great moment in your blog Danielle, when you decided to stop crying and to join the world of adults, who just get on with life. This is very exposing of the choices that most of us tend to make in following the role models that we have, even if we can see the sometimes loveless path that this can lead to.
Danielle, this is gorgeous to read. How beautiful that your accountant was so open and honest with you and that by him allowing himself to feel his vulnerability and sensitivity this allowed you do the same. How powerful we are when we are honest and live who we truly are without putting on a hard shell to try and protect ourselves as we are then able to be true to ourselves and inspire others to do the same.
I listened to a presentation of Natalie Benhayon recently and she talked about intimacy and what I got from the presentation is that intimacy is actually becoming more open and transparent. Because when you are more open, you share more of yourself, and more intimacy is developed. Your story feels like a testament to that – in that (rare) moment, your accountant was intimate with you as he shared openly with you, which then allowed for such a big healing for yourself. That is the power of intimacy – we have been sold such a lie that it is only for ‘couples’ and is usually more physical. The more open we are with people the more connected we feel. But as you say many of our hurts are stopping us from bringing this to each other.
I loved this line – “So someone must have done the same with him and someone before that person also, and so on and so on – the way life can truly be set up.”
Gorgeous story. The impact and ripple effect any one person can have on life is absolutely huge, and endless.
Yes Danielle life is a set up, but with blogs like this we can see the set up and don’t have to play that silly game. We all carry hurts but if we hold the world to ransom shutting people out in protection we are a link in a chain reaction of hurt. If we take responsibility for our hurts and really love ourselves and be honest, we can also do this with others. Now we are in a chain reaction of love like your accountant, then you, now everyone you meet.
Thank you Danielle for this contribution and the fact that you were open enough to receive the healing offered to you at the time of your accountant visit. It is huge when we realise that we no longer need to blame others and that we do not have to be governed by our hurts.
Another beautiful example of the ripple effect; from your accountant hugging you and opening up about his life it gave you the opportunity to begin your healing, and from your healing I am very sure many others will now be benefiting. It clearly reminds us of the responsibility we have as human beings to not hold back from the amazingness we are for we never know who we might meet next, they just might be ready to “be hugged”!
I love this, Danielle. How one simple and open exchange between two humans can lead to a much deeper connection to the truth we are. It can be set up this way, one person at a time, staying open and tender with one another. The ripple effect will have its day….
“I now see that although life may not always feel very lovely, joyful or fun, I can connect to this lovely joy and fun on my inside (because I am this), and I don’t need the world to be this back to play with me” – so true, yet many of us including myself as a child have allowed the world to erode our connection to this true essence of ours, and conformed to the outer in order to fit in – fit in to the world where in truth nobody wants to fit in but thinks everyone else is. Your story is a great inspiration that we do recognise the quality even if we may have lived away from it for so long as something that is true to us, and those who have made a conscious choice to live in that quality has to appreciate that they have the power and responsibility to reflect that to everyone else.
The power of reflection cannot be questioned after reading this blog. We never know who is watching us, or who we might run into or who we serve through work whose life could be changed by simply opening up and being honest. The more honest we are with ourselves and what we are feeling, the more we reflect that permission to others.
It’s amazing how much we can achieve on the surface and look ‘good’ but underneath there is a fight with self-loathing or lack of self-worth. This can continually go on and on with a voice determining your next countering move to win against the (internal) fight. It’s thought you are winning but how can it be when the fight is with yourself?
“I now have some simple tools to deal with the deep hurts so they don’t get on top of me, but also so I don’t bury them down deep.” The Gentle Breath Meditation was the first defining tool for me to learn to observe and not absorb life – breath my own breath, feel me and not what was going outside of me. “I can connect to this lovely joy and fun on my inside (because I am this), and I don’t need the world to be this back to play with me.” A great lesson to know you by you and accept this.
Pretty Awesome! The knock on effect is all we need. One person allows themselves to be vulnerable, and it enables another to do the same. The strength in that is huge!
This is gorgeous to read. It’s true that so many chose hurts over the love and joy they feel inside. It is so important to keep ourself reminded of that fact. We all are super sensitive, and ought to support each other in that, showing this by letting others know our feelings.