I am now a 33 year old woman. I grew up sailing around the world. I had a very different childhood. It was not always easy and I had grown up with many ways of coping and dealing with what life had offered me. As a child I was sexually molested and I hardly went to school. I smoked marijuana every day from when I was 16 years old until I was 30, and when I say every day, I mean everyday (with exception of about 4 or 6 days). Even when I was traveling internationally I would make marijuana brownies and eat them to get high.
The point is, I did not like how life was and the only way I enjoyed life was if I was stoned and numb. I would wake up and smoke, and I would smoke during the day, and then smoke a lot at night so that I would pass out. I could easily smoke an ounce a week (that is a lot). And to me, that was normal and I was “fine”. I would go out with friends, drink alcohol, go to festivals and take ecstasy, magic mushrooms and a few other drugs. I thought I was fine, because I wasn’t doing cocaine or heroin.
I studied to be a Massage therapist and a Medical Herbalist and I had every reason under the sun to justify my weed smoking habits. (It’s natural, it’s a herb, it relaxes me, it helps give me an appetite etc). I smoked cigarettes too and thought they were bad for me but the weed was okay. I did a course on Nutrition and thought that because I was a vegetarian I was quite healthy even though if I compare my diet now to then, I can really see that I was truly in an illusion to believe that the deep fried food, the amount of sugar and the other garbage I would consume was healthy!
I used to see clients and suggest a healthy lifestyle to them, and encourage them to stop smoking, yet I continued to abuse my body.
I was and still am a single mother, I was living on a benefit, I was angry at my own mother, and my daughter’s father and at life. I would take my anger out on my daughter, and I could not be bothered with anything really. I didn’t want a job because I didn’t have to. I didn’t want to take responsibility for where I was at, instead I preferred to blame everyone else.
Then I moved to Byron Bay. I met an Esoteric student who was involved in the Equine Industry. Having always loved horses, I made friends with her and was blown away by what a talented ‘horse woman’ she was. I could not understand how she could connect with the horses so well. I decided to be her apprentice. I would go to her place, after smoking weed and she would put up with me. She had so much patience and she taught me the Gentle Breath Meditation.
I found it hard, this concept of connecting to me. I never wanted to connect to me or come anywhere near that, that is why I always wanted to get high, so I would not feel. She lent me some of Serge Benhayon’s books, which I returned to her without reading. They were not for me. I could not even get through one page. I then got annoyed with what she was teaching me and did not go and see her for a few months.
But somewhere in my body, I felt that she was not trying to make me change or anything like that, but that she was just amazing. So I went back to see her and she told me that another friend was learning Esoteric Chakra-puncture and that I could get some treatments from her if I was interested. I was afraid of the needles hurting but decided to at least try it.
This is where my life started to change drastically. It was in December 2009 after I had been really enjoying the Chakra-puncture. I started going every week and then decided to do a Chakra-puncture Detox program. I was supported to try not to smoke or drink during this time and on the 31st of Dec 2009, I smoked my last joint. I have not smoked since and it was the best choice I have ever made. It was not the easiest choice though!
I was lucky to have the support particularly from these 2 women, and as I gave up the weed that was burying everything I had never wanted to feel, from childhood events to more recent ones, I had the chance to work through them and deal with them, instead of numb them and run from them. I had to take responsibility and realise, that the only person that could change things now was me. As an adult there was no point in blaming my parents or past relationships. The taking responsibility part was hard because I had always preferred to blame someone else and not deal with anything.
In 2010 I started going to the Universal Medicine Esoteric Medicine talks because they were only $5 and I thought they would be interesting and that they may be helpful with my herbal medicine training. These talks have been truly amazing. They are not always easy to listen to because there is so much truth in them, and as I was so good at avoiding truth, it brought up lots of issues for me. But this time I decided not to run, not to be ashamed of my past, but to be honest and open to the possibility that there was a lot there for me to learn from.
I then started going to some of the Universal Medicine workshops and I met some wonderful esoteric students. The way they lived just inspired me. I loved the fact that there were no rules, because rules have always made me rebel. I loved the fact that here everyone was accepted no matter what they did or didn’t do. No one was judged if they chose to smoke, drink alcohol or go to sleep past midnight. It is after all just an individual choice.
I really wanted to do the courses so I needed a way to pay for them, so I started working part time. I decided that I wanted to learn the Esoteric Healing modalities. I joined the Esoteric Practitioners Association (EPA)* and was amazed by their code of ethics. I am a member of the National Herbalist of Australia Association and Massage Australia and never in my life have I seen a code of ethics like the Esoteric Practitioners Association*.
The changes in me are huge. And none of these changes would have happened if it were not for the love and support from Universal Medicine, its practitioners and the Esoteric students I have met.
I do not feel like the same person who arrived in Byron, three and half years ago. I now do not smoke or drink or take drugs. I rarely have any sugar, I do not eat gluten or dairy. After 18 years of being a vegetarian, I have felt that it is better for my body to have a small amount of meat. I go to bed early and wake every day with energy and excitement of the new day. I do not drink caffeine and I don’t need it like everyone else seems to. I have a full time job and I love it and I have recently been promoted to supervisor. I work hard but I rarely get exhausted. I am not on the benefit anymore. I have got a nice car to drive, a nice place to live. I rarely get angry these days. I don’t shout and get angry with my daughter anymore. I have even managed to save money for the first time in over 10 years.
I am not part of a cult. I make my own choices. I do not take on everything that Serge Benhayon presents, I do what feels right for me. I have so much appreciation of what Serge has presented and for the Esoteric students who have inspired me to be where I am today. I have also inspired people I know and work with to change their diets, to make healthier choices, to be more gentle in the way they go about their day. Two friends have also given up smoking marijuana. It’s beautiful to see the people around me be inspired by the way I live and the choices I make. Some of my family were skeptical at first, but they too have come to the talks and workshops and have had Esoteric massages and Chakra-puncture and have enjoyed it and made healthier choices for themselves.
I have not suddenly “got it” and am not perfect, I am constantly willing to work on myself and be honest and gentle with my own personal development. I now realise that first we have to make the changes in ourselves, to love ourselves first. This has not been easy for me as I was always so tough but slowly, with baby-like steps, I am able to make changes and the great thing now is that I am aware and do notice in my body when I go back to the old patterns of being a tough “tomgirl”.
by Anonymous, Byron Bay
* The EPA (Esoteric Practitioners Association) is the internal accreditation arm of Universal Medicine. It was instigated by Universal Medicine to monitor and accredit the modalities that were founded by Universal Medicine.
558 thoughts on “My Story”
“The way they lived just inspired me”, is absolutely spot on. The students are far from being perfect but then again, who’s perfection are we living from?
Every student I have met, there is something inspiring and a take away for my own learning. And it is a quality that is the inspiration. That is the reflection that Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and their practitioners present. I much rather be met with that quality than the life you presented when you lived a different quality of life.
This statement inspired me, ‘I have not suddenly “got it” and am not perfect, I am constantly willing to work on myself and be honest and gentle with my own personal development. I now realise that first we have to make the changes in ourselves, to love ourselves first’. It reveals to me that there is no perfection and when we match it to being perfect then we have used an image to compare ourselves with or a parameter that has been set by someone/something else.
Serge Benhayon inspires and has zero judgment on anyone who continues with their behaviours, addictions, whatever you want to call them. He simply present the truth and loves no matter. The key is how we receive this that makes the difference to how we either react or respond – it is that simple.
Ah that word perfection! Yes it is something that ruins many as with perfection, there is always an image that needs to be met. When that image isn’t met, then disappointment steps into our lives and then devastation, annihilation and so the cycle continues.
The choice? Allow it to continue or you wake up and realise that this isn’t it and we still have that choice to choose another way of living.
There is great power in living lovingly – this does not require one to be perfect nor to never have made any ‘mistakes’ – but rather if we have lived something that has been a ‘mistake’ or perhaps even ‘disastrous’ the strength that we can draw from this is to not do it again and hence we set a role model in living and saying ‘I have been there and done that and would never do it again’. This is true power.
We get attached to that word, perfect and from there we are the ones who become the end product, victims or rag dolls constantly being used and abused. But often, we are offered a learning and when we don’t get it, then life simply offers it to us again, later down the track.
When we make a choice to change and lovingly so, proof is in the pudding – in other words when our intent for loving change is true and steady there is no denying the love that we then can allow in our lives and for all to see.
It’s inspiring to read how what was presented from your practitioner, Serge Benhayon and the other esoteric students was taken on board if it felt right for the author. Especially, as often we go along with things without fully discerning what we are letting ourselves in for and then later on find out that we let ourselves be influenced in a harmful way – such as getting into smoking weed.
What an incredible story, this is a true miracle.
‘The taking responsibility part was hard because I had always preferred to blame someone else and not deal with anything.’ So inspiring that you did, because in reality I don’t think many of us really do take responsibility for our hurts and can hold on to blame our entire lives.
This is truly incredible wow, wow, and wow.
What a transformation and a true testament to the wonderful work of universal medicine and Serge Benhayon.
“The point is, I did not like how life was and the only way I enjoyed life was if I was stoned and numb.” I can relate to this, I don’t do drugs, but I still have the feeling of wanting to numb myself in other ways, maybe with food or emotions, because life as it is feels intense. There are so many things going on in the world that are not true, even when something looks good on the surface it might be rotten underneath. In one way it confirms how much we do know to be the truth, but the other side is learning to observe it all, and to handle ourselves gently and lovingly when we are unsettled.
What a massive turn around of your life, so inspiring, ‘I had to take responsibility and realise, that the only person that could change things now was me. As an adult there was no point in blaming my parents or past relationships. The taking responsibility part was hard because I had always preferred to blame someone else and not deal with anything.’
I agree Lorraine, it’s a very inspiring story and the quote you have selected highlights beautifully that our power to change our lives lies in our taking responsibility.
What an amazing turnaround, I must say that I had a similar experience and people are usually blown away. Because in many cases, drug habits are hard to let go of as well as the lifestyle that goes with it.
100’s of people who meet Serge Benhayon have had major life changes since meeting him, this man is literally a God Send!
A very inspiring story. I can feel how you have empowered yourself and claimed a life that supports you and supposedly your child. It reminds me too of a time when I was drinking alcohol and very occasionally taking recreational drugs and did not consider the energetic harm that these substances could cause, the consequences of which could be passed on, as a health practitioner, to my clients. When I came to Universal Medicine I was still drinking alcohol but becoming more aware of its effects energetically. I have since dropped this habit. I can say that it is one of the best things I have done for myself all round.
Comments are closed.