by Carmel Reid, BEng DMS CertEd MCMI, Somerset, UK
When I was a teenager I used to cycle to school; it was a pleasant journey of around three miles through some beautiful countryside on the edge of suburbia in Surrey.
One day as I was going along, I suddenly realised I had no idea how I had cycled the last mile or so. It scared me – I’d obviously been thinking about something else and I resolved there and then never to drive a car – I mean, just how dangerous could that be if I did the same thing?
Well, of course I learned to drive, and guess what? I do it time and time again. Sometimes I find myself thinking about work, or some major issue in my life.
Over the years I have had the occasional accident – no one else hurt, just the vehicles involved, my pride and in one case, my neck with a whiplash injury. When I think back on each occasion I had been in a particular state of euphoria, feeling good about myself – or the opposite, very angry about something, or upset. In an emotional state of distraction and not driving with full attention. It’s time to stop doing that.
I used to pride myself on my intelligence, my ability to learn and my ability to think and organise things. I used to think while swimming lengths at my local swimming pool or walking around the countryside.
In parallel with all of this, I was a sugar-holic – I ate anything that was sweet – with loads of bread and carbohydrates: I drank tea, coffee, sweet drinks, fruit juice and alcohol.
Through the lectures presented by Serge Benhayon, I came to understand that my sugar cravings were because I was exhausted. I was living three lives in one day.
(1) There were the physiological responses due to my emotional reactions
(2) There was tension due to my thinking about past or future events
(3) There was the energy I was using doing whatever I was doing at the time.
No wonder I was exhausted!
Changing my way of living is a work in progress. So far I have cut out all of the alcohol and sugar, have considerably reduced the carbohydrate intake, particularly gluten, and am developing my awareness of how I spend my body’s energy. I still crave sweet things, so I eat fruit and some carbohydrates, but am aware that this is a symptom of my body’s exhaustion.
I still think of something else while I’m doing many things, but am becoming more aware of what’s going on. I am beginning to feel how much all the sugary stuff stops me from feeling my body, and as I reduce the amount I eat, the awareness increases.
I have been inspired by Serge Benhayon, the esoteric practitioners and many of my fellow students. My body will tell me the rest, as and when I choose to listen!
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
It’s great to read this blog again to remind me of the thoughts we can easily go to when we are doing other things. It’s the cunning one that distracts us from being with our selves. It’s the one that puts us into a fantasy, fear, excitement, etc, everything false.
When a body is exhausted, it does everything to keep it stimulated, ticking, going and in that state, we are then given thoughts that are unhealthy. It’s a perpetual cycle. Somewhere a long the way we either come to this realisation or we continue.
Serge Benhayon presents the truth of how life is presented to us and how it can affect us. The choice is ours as to what we do with this – simple.
I totally understand doing one thing and thinking of plenty of other things at the same time. All for a very good reason, to keep you away from the exact thing you need to be with and that is you. When we are exhausted, then we are not fit enough to register that we are being exhausted mentally, as the thoughts take us away from how our body’s are feeling, which is exhausted! A perpetual cycle.
In everything we do, the emphasis is in that exact thing we do. When it’s in the how we do things that matters, and in that we remain with ourselves. Then our bodies are less likely to become exhausted, worth pondering over.
Have you ever been left wondering if you locked the front door? I might be at work and thinking about whether I locked the home front door as I left in the morning – but if I had been with myself and thinking about the door as I locked it I would not have to wonder if I had done it or not! We set ourselves up to worry and wonder when we are not being present and with ourselves and how we are with what we do.
I remember many of these moments, wondering if I have left something on or the door open etc. One day I was distracted and was worrying if I had left the garage door open, and I came to a realisation that if it was, they can take whatever they want as everything was replaceable. Distraction over…
So often I find myself thinking about things whilst doing something else – this is in truth living two realities at the same time. No wonder I do get tired – just like Carmel’s experience. Even watching TV we get caught into living what is being experienced on the TV screen – it is so very difficult to stay aware of one’s body and movements when we are being pulled to another reality, be this via the TV screen or via our own thoughts going rogue.
Carmel I absolutely love what you have shared here – in its honesty and simplicity it is very powerful indeed. Thinking about other things whist doing something else is such a common practice, in fact it is something we learn quickly and yet is one of the worst habits we could pick up.
So in retrospect there is no such things as multitasking…
“developing my awareness of how I spend my body’s energy”. What a great line Carmel, and it brings an order to how we are with ourselves and life that may mean we use more energy than we have and become exhausted.
“When I think back on each occasion I had been in a particular state of euphoria, feeling good about myself…” A relative used to tell me never to drive if I was upset, it’s good advice, but I hadn’t considered the feel-good euphoria you mentioned, which I can identify that I experience and take with me on car trips, and it is distracting.
What I find fascinating is that there is a part of us that knows that if we eat something stimulating then the body is raced and has no chance to be still. I have found it is in the stillness that I actually can feel the true me. The me I hide from the world because I hate the fact that being sensitive is seen as a negative something to be stamped out like a regressive gene. The funny thing is we are all incredibly sensitive and we protect ourselves from each other by putting up a defense so that no one will know how sensitive we really are.
When I re-connect with myself, through Gentle Breath Meditation, sometimes I realize the level of tension my body is exposed. This tension feels really uncomfortable so it’s very easy to get distracted with food, social media…but the more I experience how being connected and present feels like the more I can register when I’m not and then come back whenever it’s needed. It’s being a beautiful journey to observe, understand and hold myself in a very loving way. My body feels really greatful everytime I choose coming back to it.
We are making choices moment by moment. These choices affects us so we are the ultimate responsible for our health, wellbeing and the level of vitality we live with.
Being consciously present with our bodies and what we are doing, is such a relief for our bodies, rather than being divided and off doing something here and/or there, at the same time, can be quite draining and exhausting.
Thinking used to be my favourite pastime. I could just retreat into the world of fantasy. You make here a great point, Carmel – how exhausting it is to be running a parallel show up in the head while the body is engaged in something else, therefore needing sugar. And I guess, also, running the body in parts leaves it missing its innate wholesomeness, and wanting some kind of sweetness. It all comes back to loving ourselves so dearly.