True Love: So Very Much More Than A Word

by Nicola, Tweed, Australia

I remember as a child being ignored whilst wanting to be loved. At some point I must have decided that attention was love, so I would sometimes be naughty just to get attention. In my teens I went with boys who did not care about me, again substituting attention for love. None of it worked of course, it just made things worse… much worse.

As I got older I became more and more clear that all these things were not love and I didn’t want them anymore. In my 20’s I fell deeply in ‘love’ with a man who I lived with for many months. This man had a big charisma but really was a very empty and manipulative person, and my better sense told me to leave him. I felt ‘heartbroken’ leaving him; at the same time I observed a series of thoughts within myself that exposed to me that what I had felt for this man (which was my biggest experience of love to date) was clearly not love. The whole thing was very intense and traumatic – it took quite some time for me to get over.

I also started to develop a bit of an allergic reaction to the word ‘love’ and the untrue way it was used.

At different times in my life I investigated people and places who claimed to know the answer, but sooner or later realised that either what they were teaching was b…s*!#  – or that even if it all sounded good, they themselves did not feel or sound good, and therefore I did not want what they had.

Somewhere along the way I met and married the most gorgeous man, who funnily enough had very similar experiences to mine. Whilst we loved each other the most we could in the emotional way the world uses that word, we both still had that absence and lack of joy within ourselves – so did not have true love to share with the other.

Eventually I got to the point where I knew that I didn’t know what love was. I knew that whilst my life was very successful on the outside there was something missing. I also knew that even though I didn’t know, everyone else I came across knew even less – many of them didn’t even know that they didn’t know!

What I didn’t realise at the time was that I must have always known what love was, or I wouldn’t have known what it was not.

In 2003, my health deteriorated and a confluence of circumstances had me booking an appointment with Serge Benhayon. I was not particularly interested in seeing him, because I had given up on having sessions – but I felt the impulse and went anyway.

In my first session with Serge I had a HUGE healing. I could feel that he really understood me and everything I was saying in a way I had never experienced before. I could also feel that there was absolutely no imposition, judgment, opinion, desired outcome or any other form of interference coming from Serge – in fact he seemed to be very ordinary, but there was something about his quality of presence that in reflection allowed me to connect much more deeply to myself.

I did not consciously know it at that time, but this was my first experience of true love, and the beginning of the most amazing journey of true healing.

I did not ‘get it all’ in that one session. It has been, and continues to be, a gradual unfolding and process of experimenting and feeling for myself what is love and what is not love. I have experienced the incredibly healing nature of true love, and also how harmful the false love is.

There have been many, many ouch moments because it is very confronting to see the insidious ways I have been fooled by emotions masquerading as love. However, there have also been many ‘yum’ moments because it is so gorgeous and freeing to let go of these misguided beliefs.

My husband and I have been sharing this whole experience together. The more we learn to allow love in ourselves, the more we are able to share love with each other and everyone else. It is a truly joyful, simple and harmonious way of being that seems to just keep expanding without any limit in sight.

Yes, there is a four letter word L-O-V-E, but true love is so very much more than a word.

83 thoughts on “True Love: So Very Much More Than A Word

  1. Thank you Nicola for this open, honest every day sharing of your rediscovery of true love.
    I love how you are open to the simple ever expanding limitless of your love and that letting love in you can be more of that love with others – imagine if we all did that???

  2. Awesome Nicola, it is so beautiful that you are in a building relationship with
    Love, I am too. Yes I agree there are “ouch” moments, and there is also the greatest fulfilment I have ever known and this fulfilment just keeps expanding, I am so glad I have reunited with Love…

  3. Nicola, your story is L-O-V-E-L-Y! I recall when I met Serge in the early days I found it difficult to look directly into his eyes because he presented so much love. I’d obviously caught the same allergy to love that you experienced. But thank God for Serge’s reflection, because it provided the catalyst for many (including myself) to open our hearts.

  4. I too have had that ‘allergic reaction’ to the word love! At one point, I had no idea either of what love was. All I knew was that I truly loved my daughter, but as for anyone else, the jury was out 🙂 The starting point is knowing you know what is not love though, as you said. Then the truth starts to unfold. Thanks for sharing Nicola.

  5. Thanks Nicola, so much to relate to here — we have all been fooled by ‘love’ when it is not actually the true kind… thanks for sharing your experiences… this is written so simply and beautifully.

  6. Thank you Nicola, for writing:
    “What I didn’t realise at the time was that I must have always known what love was, or I wouldn’t have known what it was not”.
    I just realized during all my relationships I never wanted to say “I love you” because I knew it wasn’t really love.

    1. Yes, the understanding that “we must know what love is to know what it is not” is something I first heard from Serge. Like so much of what Serge says, when I first heard it I felt it was something I had always known but for some reason not articulated to myself.

  7. I can certainly relate to how you said Nicola that to truly love another you needed to first allow that love in yourself.

  8. Thank you, Nicola. Yes, there have been ouch moments for me too when I have seen how in the past I have settled for less than true love, but then without these moments I would still be searching in vain.

  9. Thank you for expressing that love starts within ourselves, with the relationship to ourselves. We all know deep inside what and how love is, but it’s a matter of connecting to it. Your journey inspires me, and especially this sentence: “The more we learn to allow love in ourselves, the more we are able to share love with each other”. Beautiful.

  10. My experience of meeting or attending presentations with Serge Benhayon has only ever been a consistent and constant reflection of true love. Every time I am met with absolute love as there is no judgement, expectations or limitations. I always feel that it is my essence that is met and presented to and this allows me to be who I truly am, to connect deeper to all of the Love that I am in full. Thank you Nicola for this beautiful sharing and I love this expression – ‘It is a truly joyful, simple and harmonious way of being that seems to just keep expanding without any limit in sight.’ I absolutely agree.

  11. I really enjoyed reading this Nicola. I felt the real beauty that you and your husband are working to deepen your understanding of what true love is together. We know how incredibly joyful this discovery of what love really is, not just for ourselves personally, but also in our relationships. It’s true, there is no limit to love, no ceiling, just evolution.

  12. I really enjoyed what you shared here Nicola, as it was an honest and genuine reflection of how we can confuse love with true love. Our journey back to true love definitely can have it’s twists and turns but one thing I do know is that it all comes back to the way we are with ourselves first. True love begins within and requires lots of honesty and responsibility with ourselves and how we choose to live our lives.

  13. Thank you for sharing your story and experience with love: it is such a little word yet its beauty is immense. Your re-discovery was a pleasure to read, its healing nature and limitless expansion a gorgeous reminder of the power of what lies within.

    1. YES, I have since discovered that LOVE is a member of the Soul family. JOY which is another member of the family is an even smaller word and yet they both are Divine, huge and everything – together with Harmony, Stillness and Truth…. whilst on the subject of short and Divine words we also have GOD 🙂

  14. Well said Nicola – love is so much more than a word. I love how you shared that you must have known all the time what Love is because you knew very well what love was not. This reminded me of all the times in my life that I deep inside knew when something was not love though not knew how to get to true love. For me meeting Serge Benhayon has been as well a moment of feeling true love in my life, his presence is just so unimposing but very deeply caring and loving. From that moment I have started to feel what true love is and it starts with loving myself and then all others without any emotion or need. Very freeing and lovely.

    1. We all know what love is inside just not practiced in receiving it’s messages and acting on them, and that there is always a never-ending stream of communications from within on how to express love. With the support of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine we have a reflection of how to live in accordance and response to that love.

  15. Lovely Nicola I too was a person who didn’t know what love was and therefore I never told someone I love you until I visited a workshop with Serge Benhayon. Yes I agree you wrote: “I must have always known what love was, or I wouldn’t have known what it was not.” So I too was always aware of the “not love” and now I am wondering how many people have this same “problem” . . . So for me it was time – after this workshop – to go out and not holding back this love to remind the world what true love is.

  16. Lovely to read your sharing Nicola. The feelings you had earlier experienced and felt were not ‘love’ have been confirmed by your re-discovery of true love.

  17. Beautiful Nicola! The fact that the first session brought such a level of healing and that you realised that this was the first time you experienced true love was a blessing for it helped to establish inside you the clear link that exists between healing and love. A great foundation to move forward L-O-V-I-N-G-L-Y.

    1. I just LOVE the many attributes of ‘love’ and the different expressions of L-O-V-E that is presented from the loving student of the Livingness, they who share equally with all the Loving ways to express joy-full-love in all they do. Love-it.

  18. “I also knew that even though I didn’t know, everyone else I came across knew even less – many of them didn’t even know that they didn’t know!” – a very true, and somewhat awful statement… and I’ve been there, constantly a little bit troubled without quite knowing why. An absence of love in life leaves me feeling empty, and what I have learnt from Serge Benhayon is helping me to find my way again.

  19. Agreed Nicola, you must have known what love was in some way or another, otherwise you wouldn’t have been missing it or known what love isn’t. I find it fascinating that we have a deep knowing of what the truth is, even though we might not see it around us. It’s so apparent for me that we are all one big girth, linked together looking for the same thing in one way or the other.

  20. i so enjoyed reading your blog Nicola and your journey to rediscovering what you always knew inside to be love. And how awesome that you can now show all that you meet in your life what true love is simply because you live it to the best of your ability. I am learning to love myself more and more and with that the love for others equally and naturally grows. True love is indeed much more then a word, i would even say it is everything.

  21. Thank you Nicola for sharing your story of rediscovery back to love . “I must have known what love was or I wouldn’t have known what it was not,” so true.

  22. I agree.. there is no much in that word love… There is music out there today that sings about how much love hurts… but my feeling is they are singing about all of the bastardised versions of love that we have been fed to believe are love. True love is what you described Serge Benhayon to be… non-imposing, observant, not forcing opinions, but just letting you be you and supporting you to connect to yourself again.

  23. It is almost 3 years since I wrote this blog and my understanding and lived experience of true LOVE just keeps evolving in the most gorgeous way. Also since then Unimedpedia which is a growing resource dedicated to bringing the true meaning back to words has been published. Unimedpedia LOVE delivers more understanding and some great audios about the energetic meaning of love and can be found here: http://www.unimedliving.com/unimedpedia/word-index/unimedpedia-love.html

  24. Thank you Nicola for sharing your story and your first experience of Serge Benhayon and true love ‘he seemed to be very ordinary, but there was something about his quality of presence that in reflection allowed me to connect much more deeply to myself.’ That gift of reflecting true love and thus allowing a re-connection to self is such a profound experience which keeps evolving to a deeper level the more we are willing to expand.

  25. When the word love is said without the true depth, breadth and feeling of the word being lived and expressed from that same love it is claiming to be, it feels fake and false, like something is missing, and you cannot but feel its emptiness. NIcola you are definitely not alone and I actually wonder if most people in the world like you did are having an allergic ‘reaction’ to the word love and the untrue way it is being used and abused. How it is flippantly said without the depth and feeling of its truth, how it is delivered with an emptiness and a lack…. which is why it leaves you feeling cold and craving it more. It’s the perfect dangling of the carrot scenario to just keep you hanging in the limbo of knowing love is so close but you aren’t quite there yet….

  26. This is such an important revelation: ‘we both still had that absence and lack of joy within ourselves – so did not have true love to share with the other.’ I’m discovering that it is essential to be loving with our self first, and that will naturally blossom and be shared with others.

  27. Thank you for sharing your experience, Nicola. So true, Love is much more than a word. When we come into this world, we pretty quickly suss out that this place doesn’t offer love in a sense and volume that we innately know as truth and possibility, and most of us start seeking substitute – so, it’s a done deal as long as we continue to look outside of ourselves, whatever we find under that little word is bound to be less. And true Love even allows us to make that mistake and just holds us.

  28. I like the points that are raised in your blog, they are simple and interesting. My favourite line would have to be
    “I also knew that even though I didn’t know, everyone else I came across knew even less – many of them didn’t even know that they didn’t know!”
    I think that admitting that you “don’t know” or that you may have got it wrong is the hardest part for the human spirt… the ‘pride’ is half the battle over. I know that for me once I have named something it holds little power over me. Essentially we all do know LOVE and its true meaning but we have been so caught up in our own nonsense that we forgot to look in the most obvious place to find it and that is our pocket, just where we left it, our back pocket.
    Thanks Nicola

  29. Me too Nicola, my first experience of true love was with Serge Benhayon. The way he met me as an equal, caring deeply as to how I was feeling, totally knew me, not for my disfunction but who I truly was, not wanting anything from me, being with me as if i was most precious being on earth-which I am and that I mattered, listening and understanding all that I expressed. I remember feeling ‘oh my goodness so this is what love is’ Serge continues to inspire me to be this love with myself and with all.

  30. Everybody is looking for love. That is something I hear and read regularly. But in starting to understand true love the question arises: Are we really looking for love? Or are we needing fixes?
    True love is pure truth and absolute responsibility and therein unfolds true joy about being truly connected. Who wants to sign up for this?

  31. Thank you for sharing this Nicola. It’s a sad fact that there is little, very little true love expressed in this world, there is a horrible emptiness we need to distract ourselves from in any way we can. But when true love shows up it feels incredible and yet at the same time hugely confronting, confronting due to the fact that I had not chosen that, and that I had subscribed to a lesser way of being that was actually causing my own distress! Thank you Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for living the love that you are for all of us to see and feel.

  32. We all know what love is and everyone who meets Serge immediately knows that he lives true love. Its like looking in a mirror and its all there. What a beautiful responsibility we all have to live the same love we get reflected from Serge and be that for everybody else and that way one day the only reflection on earth will be that of true love.

    1. Hi Rachel, it is interesting and true that you say everyone who meets Serge Benhayon immediately knows that he lives true love. Interesting because true love is not always as comfortable to be around as one might imagine. The reflection of true love exposes all that is not of that light. We then have a few choices… we can admit what is not working in our lives ie what is not of true love and heal it, or we can walk away and say not today or we can deny what we see and try and break the mirror because the reflection is too painful and we don’t want to face it.

      1. Thats the amazing truth about true love, so well said Nicola!! We live under the belief that love is always rosy, pandering and doesn’t press any buttons, but that is part of the illusion we live under. “True love exposes all that is not of that light” and can be very uncomfortable, but it is always holding and loving.

  33. Its very exposing of society today that we can so evidently use a word we do not know the true meaning of and in effect place our own meaning to what we think such a word is supposed to mean. Is this not the ultimate control of a society.. because then we can be thinking we are doing one thing, in this case loving one another, when in fact we are very far from it being true because it may not be love at all that we are in fact experiencing.

    1. It is Joshua, it is that what we like to control, while love isn’t controllable as you can’t just have it for just one or a couple people. Love is universal, so why would we let it be confined into one emotional aspect. While true love goes so much deeper.

      1. We are not only living a reduced form of love when we see love in this way, we are also causing our own illnesses and diseases by living a lesser form than what life can truly be.

      2. That is indeed one of the misconceptions around love. That it is confined to one person where all the love needs to be and needs to ‘happen’. Whilst in truth love is universal. From that perspective the way we relate to each other becomes so different. We love all we meet in all ways we can express love.

      3. Joshua and Benkt I have to say I feel absolute Joy reading your comments and feeling your love. Since I wrote this blog many years ago my experience and understanding of love has continued to evolve and expand. I now connect much more deeply to love as a quality of the Soul, together with Joy, Truth, Stillness and Harmony. They are always present together and it is so joyful to feel them in you.

  34. There are definitely some ‘ouch’ moments but the thing about those ‘yum’ moments are that there is a steadiness to them that the body doesn’t forget. All the reactions and drama’s, ideals, beliefs etc that appear to be rigid and stuck can have the legs pulled out from underneath them in a millisecond whereas with true love there is a sense that it has always and will always be there for us. And this is what Serge Benhayon and Universal medicine live and present throughout, consistently and steadily, the only movement being that of a greater, grander and deeper love.

  35. Isn’t it amazing how many of us don’t know what true love is until we met Serge Benhayon. Serge Benhayon lives true love consistently everyday and this is not only reserved for his family he shares this quality of love equally with everyone – his reflection is powerful and invites me to also choose to live true love.

  36. Thank you Nicola, for sharing your gradual unfolding in feeling true love and that it is an ever expanding way of being. True love is so very much more than a word. It is our true nature.

  37. The process of deconstructing the way we have perceived the world to be is challenging. It takes many moments of deep honesty and whoops moments to begin to scratch the surface the facade we adopted. However the ah-ha moments are quite lovely.

  38. It is so revealing to see that the love I have believed in is not true, but to get to know the true meaning is a truly beautiful journey, not easy but much better than to continue in the misery that is laced with the emotional love.

  39. “What I didn’t realise at the time was that I must have always known what love was, or I wouldn’t have known what it was not.” I love this gem Nicola. We do all know what true love is – thankyou for sharing.

  40. Yes, we’re too easily ‘fooled by emotions masquerading as love’. When it comes to being in a relationship with another, I now appreciate just what an imposition it is to expect my needs to be met by them and that I can only truly love another once I have mastered being able to love myself.

  41. Nicola, thank you for sharing so openly your journey of re-discovering love in its true sense. Your story speaks to many of us, who in the past have allowed ourselves to be fooled by emotional love, whilst knowing deep within us the falseness of what we were feeling.

  42. This is beautiful Nicola. The crazy thing about love is that we do know it inside and out and yet I have found myself waking up to the truth of love after a lifetime believing that love was something it is not. It only takes the reflection of one other person who chooses to live and reflect true love for us to have the opportunity to recognise true love and embrace it once more.

  43. A lovely exploration of true love and it shows as you point out that we do know love otherwise how could we know what love is not and it is a step by step process to live it again.

  44. Simple and brilliant Nicola, that we do know love otherwise we would not feel so empty and shortchanged by it’s false versions.

  45. Nicola your blog has made me wonder just how many naughty kids and naughty adults attract attention with their behaviours simply because they are wanting to be loved.

  46. I love that without judgment, imposition or interference from Serge you were offered a space and quality to allow you to connect to yourself more deeply and experience true love and healing… a gorgeous start to a remarkable journey learning to connect to, live and embrace the many yum moments that are possible when we let go of everything that is not love.

  47. Love is so great that we need to forever explore, develop and unfold it. If we limit it to one experience we sell ourselves short as there is more to discover about love every day as our capacity to let it in and hold ourselves in it expands.

  48. We have made the word love a word that can be used for many different things to our own liking but through that it is not love anymore but a convenience. What you describe love to be brings the fullness back into the word.

  49. Four letters just cannot communicate the fullness, depth and unending expansion Love is. It’s only when we feel it in our bodies we start to feel we hold the love of the universes in every cell and when we move from this connection it magnifies and starts to emanate from us in all we express.

  50. Serge Benhayon was the first person I had really felt loved by, held in love and reminded of what love is… how love expresses, how love supports and what love restores. And, as you say Nicola, love is so known to us for us to feel what it is not.

  51. Nicola, thank-you deeply for such an honest and open sharing here. I agree with the point that you came to – i.e. that we do all actually know what love is, but with oftentimes little of its true nature reflected around us, we give up on it, suffer hurt due to the absence of its expression, and tend to seek substitutes that as you’ve shared, will never truly allay the knowing within that love is what we are seeking in our lives.
    ‘Love’ as a word has been so bastardised…
    And then enter a man such as Serge Benhayon who embodies such a greatness of love, that many, many people are inspired to say yes to all that love truly is once again, and as you’ve shared, commit to an ever-deepening lived understanding and cherishing of its presence. For in essence, and through being so deeply inspired also, I have no doubt that love IS who we are. Love can be re-embraced in our lives, and we deserve to live so held in this quality of God Himself.

  52. Love…ultimately this is what we all want. However we will do anything to make sure that we have it. So much so that we resort to what is not love to make sure we have love, which actually isn’t love at all. I’ve always found it fascinating that we class love or group it. Tough love, family love, love for our friends. It’s like we have more love for some that others. But are we confusing love for other things, like need, loyalty, belonging, attention. I know I certainly have. Re-learning what love is and means has been a great revelation and one in which has assisted me greatly reduce any judgement that I may have on another and myself.

  53. ‘The more we learn to allow love in ourselves, the more we are able to share love with each other and everyone else’. Sometimes it feels more easier to give love than receive it….

  54. Yes Nicole the word love is much grander than how many people in society throw the word around without any experience of what love truly is. Many have accepted a lesser version of love, the emotional kind and it is a very conditional type of love that doesn’t expand or evolve anyone.

  55. Enjoyable read Nicola. More needs to be known about true love and the significant difference it is and makes to your life. True love is simple to relate to by its lifting felt quality. Emotional love is based on need and leaves you empty looking for more. The search is what becomes familiar. It is comfortable and does not raise the tension like the embracing of true love is. It’s comfort but empty versus tension and fulfillment.

  56. It is actually crazy that true love is so very different to the love that we are taught and live and even crazier as we all know true love as, like you say, how could we possibly know true love when we are held in/presented with it.

  57. And I am back here with your words Nicola – I love the simplicity you bring. “Yes, there is a four letter word L-O-V-E, but true love is so very much more than a word.” There is much to discover what love truly is.

  58. This is unique to find someone like this, most people impose to some degree, or do not fully understand us, ‘I could feel that he really understood me and everything I was saying in a way I had never experienced before. I could also feel that there was absolutely no imposition, judgment, opinion, desired outcome or any other form of interference coming from Serge’. How gorgeous to experience.

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