My True and False Experiences of God

by Toni Steenson, Coraki, Australia

When I was growing up I was taught a lot about God – I learnt about God at home, at school and at church. What I learnt about God never quite fit the picture for me, and now I am coming to know God more intimately I understand why.

I learnt when I was young that I was a sinner and that I was evil. If I did not want to be bad I had to work at it very astutely, as my natural way was one of sin: so good was I at sinning that I was told that God had to sacrifice his only son to teach me, and all of us, about Love.

What I now know is that I am naturally Love and that God’s Love lives inside me and impulses me to be who I naturally am. Of course, I can choose not to listen to this Love that lives inside me, and often do, but this in no way takes away from the fact that I am Love, and no matter what I do, I am still naturally Love.

I am not bad or evil and I am not a sinner that God had to sacrifice his only son for: if we are all part of God, does this not mean that we are ALL the sons of God?

I also learnt that God would punish me for my sins: I know this is definitely not true as, from my relationship with God I know that when I choose to do something that is not loving towards myself or others, God simply just keeps emanating his Love so that when I am ready I can also choose to emanate that same Love. One thing I have come to know about God is that he is so patient and he has no need for me to be in any certain way.

I was taught to fear God: that he was something far away and scary and that he could grant me things if I prayed to him and was good. I now know there is nothing to fear of God as he is a part of me and my equal, he lives within me and treasures me more deeply than I know or choose to treasure myself. I also know that God cannot grant me anything, but rather offers me free will so I can choose to grant myself through my everyday choices.

So much of what I learnt about God when I was young was not just wrong, but the complete opposite of what I now know to be true. How can this be, that from three different sources I was taught the same mis-truths?

How I know all of this is not because someone told me, but rather I have chosen to build and have an intimate relationship with myself; through this, my body has shown me all of this, and so much more.

  • I have listened to how I feel about situations and occurrences… and not discounted these feelings.
  • I have taken time to do Gentle Breath Meditations and then, to the best of my ability, lived from this quality.
  • I have taken time to listen to my body, so when it is tired I rest rather than listen to my mind, which may tell me I need to keep going.

I am forever great-full to Serge Benhayon, Michael Benhayon, Miranda Benhayon, Natalie Benhayon and many others for inspiring me to build this intimate relationship with myself and God – for me there is no blessing greater.

134 thoughts on “My True and False Experiences of God

  1. A great simple article that tells us so much, “So much of what I learnt about God when I was young was not just wrong, but the complete opposite of what I now know to be true.” This is my experience of life so far and often find myself seeing things now in the almost opposite way I saw them before. It is honestly as though the world is upside down on many things, deliberately so. God is a great example, made out and continued to be made out as something that is actually the opposite of what is being said. Instead of this one thing that is all knowing and condemning the very fact of him being all encompassing and loving doesn’t strike anyone as being a little strange that current religions are contradicting themselves? The way religion was given to me when I was younger was super confusing, it just didn’t make any sense. It’s not that people were bad at explaining it and in fact when they tried to explain it it became more confusing to the point they had confused themselves. As a child you were shut down constantly from exposing this confusion, after all you were only a child. As you grew it still didn’t make sense but you just let it be and did the nice thing and not said anything or you pushed against it, either way nothing changed. What has changed now is the way I live with God, bringing a deeper and deeper understanding of who he is and what religion truly is. It’s not something I explain to anyone but something I breath and live. That way God and religion are walking with me and at the fingertips of everything I do. They were never meant to be taught to us, they were always something for us to live, it’s the whole basis of the true teaching.

    1. Very true Ray, I love the simplicity of your writing, it makes God very accessible. The believes on God we still have in this world to me are on the same level as believing that the world is flat centuries ago. One day they will be exposed as totally rediculous, and to that date people like you and me just have to reflect what living with God feels and look like. So simple and no preaching required, people will see and feel it anyway, so they can live the same, if they chose so.

      1. I agree that “one day they will be exposed as totally ridiculous” but I would say that ‘they’ aren’t even real. Most people I meet carry the same confusion I did and it’s not that they believe or don’t believe it’s just they have never taken the time to bring awareness to the fact of what is being said here. That is part of my living religion, to allow and dedicate to allowing my body to settle and then from there actually making my next step into something I am fully aware of. That awareness may expand from that point but at that point it is everything I see in my step. What I see is that most of us aren’t taking the time to see our steps, to live present to what we are feeling in each moment and in this whatever you step to is chosen for you and so when it comes to religion, it’s not owned by the Catholics or Muslims or anything like that, it is simply not truly chosen by us and hence allowed to be anything, and our point sees it all in fact upside down. Take steps to make your steps truly your steps and in that living dedication the world becomes clearer. Not from anything but the fact you are clearer.

  2. We are all naturally love, and I welcome the day when we all live that love in full, ‘the fact that I am Love, and no matter what I do, I am still naturally Love.’

  3. I agree what you say in the comment above Ray, it is almost as if the world is upside down on many things, that the truth is no longer being presented, and what is presented makes no sense at all, you give a great example of this in relation to our understanding of God.

  4. Many days I feel absolutely wonderful without having to do anything, and now I understand that this is not just a feeling, but I am experiencing God with me and around me. It marvels me, he was there all along but as I was lied to how God is, so I did not recognize him.

  5. Reading this I realise that what I also learned about God and religion in my younger years, which was virtually identical to what is shared here, is about control. Controlling behaviour and dampening down our very natural expression which is love and not sin or evil at all. The myth that we are born of sin is completely the opposite to how we are when we are born. We only need to look at the natural joy and beauty of a small child to see our truth.

    1. So true Jennifer – who can look at a baby and say they are naturally born bad or a sinner that God is ashamed of? We are Heavenly from the day we are born to the day we die, no matter how much we try to deny or hide the fact.

  6. So much is implied and assumed around who and what God is, and I recall so many impressions I received as a child growing up, most revolved around an ‘almighty being’ somewhere up in the sky who saw everything and had a long flowing grey beard. There was a lot of fear of condemnation but this just didn’t make sense to me if God was in fact love, which he supposedly was. These impressions and their ridiculousness led me to turn away from any sort of religion… until I met Serge Benhayon. From that point, although I didn’t realise it initially,

  7. The devastating lies we are fed, as truths by ‘people in power’ in religious circles is that there was only ONE son of God. Once this foundational lie is received and believed then we are open to the many more lies and beliefs that come with mainstream/institutionalised religions that form a way of life that is forever trying to appease and seek forgiveness from God. Not the true life of the Sons of God we all innately are.

    1. Well said Rachael Evans – we are all here to live the love of God that we are. Through living in connection to our Soulful light, we realise that we are the ones that we are looking for, as it is each and every one of us that are responsible for the resurrection of Christ.

  8. The key understanding for me with my relationship with God is that the depth of it is felt and confirmed in my body and not in the thoughts of my mind.

  9. My truth experiences of God, being with God, have no words, it is a way of being, a quality, a knowing, this is something no one can give me, tell me, instruct me on….it is equally for all to be with and it is something that I have been honouring and developing because it feels like home.

  10. There are many stories about God in this world however the true register of God is known through our connection to our inner-heart, where our Soulful light is no less than the light of God, and the beautiful thing is that in knowing God we know who we are. As we are in fact inseparable.

  11. The magic of God is that He is love and always has been and is this same unbounded love that is equally in every one of us calling us all to be that love that we too naturally are.

  12. Honouring your own feelings by taking the time to listen and reflect upon them offers a new way of daily life that will never be the same as it was.

  13. God is a big word in this world, and over whom many wars are fought and people are slaughtered, while using His name. This cannot be the God everyone deeply knows he is, but the world keeps us feeding these false believes what God is.
    Only by the teachings of The Way of the Livingness I got to know who God really is. And now the next steps: not only knowing him, but also feeling him with me, around me and in me. It is an allowing.

  14. I considered myself atheist while growing up. Never really following a particular religion. But in the last few years I have come to learn how joyfull life can be having true religion in my everyday.

  15. When we consider the impact of the many ‘stories’ we are told, it’s no wonder we are in a state of complete disarray as a society. The concept of being born a sinner basically gives us the worst start to life ever possible. A complete lie designed to keep us from shining the absolute truth of who we are. And as we have all witnessed, this evil trick works….but only for so long, because light is light and it’s impossible for it to not shine through…so by hook or by crook, the light (truth) always comes to correct the darkness.

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