The Six Stages of ‘Becoming Me’ (so far anyway): Part 1

by Joel L (Australia)

Across my life I have spent time ‘looking for something’. I could not always say what this ‘something’ was and this search has been sporadic, moving from being quite active to ignoring this topic altogether.

Over the past eight years, I have been coming closer to this ‘something’ than ever before. I am sure there is much more to discover, but this something was ME… the real me.

There have been at least six stages of becoming me, and here are the broad brush strokes:

1)     Realising there is more to life than just what we see:

I came to this early in life with parents that recognised life is not just about what can be seen; that there is also what can be felt on a subtler level (energetically). They showed me there was merit in understanding, or at the very least not being closed off to, this possibility.

Later in life I studied Natural Therapies, Homeopathy, Reiki, Remedial Therapies and a number of other modalities that all showed an appreciation for this energetic aspect of our being.

I had accepted that having found the concept of energy, this was the hidden part of the puzzle. However, the many and varied therapies I experienced promised so much, yet all I could find as a client and all I could offer as a practitioner was a momentary ‘wow’ or temporary relief. Regardless of this, people would keep coming to me for treatments (even doctors)… My own life was okay but I would not call it joyful – I still had big ups and downs, still felt a sense of struggle through my life.

The ‘something’ was not emerging from the work I was doing, regardless of how dedicated I was. Eventually, I stopped being a practitioner and went off to more traditional forms of employment.

2)     Realising that focusing on energy is only the beginning:

After a period of time, comfortable with my career, playing in a band with mates, involved in my kids’ school, I attended (reluctantly) a presentation by Universal Medicine and this guy named Serge Benhayon, who made the suggestion that if everything is energy, everything is because of energy.

It was intriguing to consider the possibility that the energy behind joy may not be the same energy behind anger: the energy behind my thinking I am not any good is not the same energy behind my feeling I am amazing… and so on.

While I said ‘yes’ to this concept almost immediately, I did not fully grasp how deeply true this is. It took me some time to play with this concept and to confirm to myself that maybe there was a different energy behind things. What was most interesting is that I did not end up with a list of different types of energy. There were only two – love, and everything else.

At one point it felt strange to consider why my other studies of energy and healing had felt so true but had not introduced me to such a simple yet profound concept… ‘it’ is not what you do but the energy you do it in – even when you’re dealing with energy!

The Gentle Breath Meditation taught by Universal Medicine, and their workshops, were important parts of this learning, as it gave me some practical tools I could take away and use to develop this awareness.

In the past the teachings were ‘everything is energy’, so just open yourself up to that energy. Now I realise there is a deeper choice.

3)     Realising I had a choice:

I began to take responsibility for my life at an energetic level: I chose to ‘feel’ how, or what I was eating, drinking and doing at any given time. Sometimes I would be convinced something was good for me but feel terrible after eating or drinking it. Over time I would test this out to see if the same thing happened.

Through this awareness, I had given myself true choice… to either choose things that are loving, or not. Diet no longer became a regime but a choice to be loving towards myself: exercise was no longer a ‘must do’ but a choice to be loving towards myself. Sometimes I made choices that were unloving (and I still do), but I had a clear point in my body to gauge this by. If I push myself at work to ‘get it done’, I can feel the drain of this, but in the past I would cover up that drain with coffee or sugar. Strangely, the more of these self-loving choices I made, the more I got done.

There are always more areas of my life I can bring more love to, but at the end of the day the ‘love’ I was feeling never said ‘do this or do that’, it just helped me feel the consequence of my choices. I began to realise this personal responsibility was not about removing myself from life and making myself so fragile I couldn’t interact with the world, but rather about how to be MORE of me in every moment.

I used the different esoteric modalities (Esoteric Healing, Chakra-puncture, Esoteric Massage etc.) to help me ‘clean up’ the mess of less supportive choices and build this personal responsibility.

This was when friends and family started to notice I was changing. Some were happy for me to learn this stuff – but not if it meant I would stop drinking alcohol etc. Some felt the change and wanted to know more, others drifted off. Either way, change, real change, was taking place.

What happens with stages 4, 5 and 6… stay tuned for part two.

Part 2: The Six Stages of ‘Becoming Me’ (so far anyway): Part 2

165 thoughts on “The Six Stages of ‘Becoming Me’ (so far anyway): Part 1

  1. I love your blog Joel. Brilliant realisations, inspiring and very relatable the way you’ve presented. I too am in the process of cleaning up my mess and learning to take responsibility.

  2. There is always a choice and our choices are then magnified by our movements. It gets down to the question – What do I want to magnify around me, love or what is not love?

    1. This concept of magnification is a big one to understand.. the fact that not just what we do but how we do it, becomes amplification, that makes the next choice easier or harder (whatever it is).

    2. That is very simple and very true. And to answer your question. I notice how much we like to magnify not love through and around us. We as a spirit love the identification with all creation. We as a spirit
      like to suffer or be stressed or being ‘important’ etc. We as a. Spirit don ‘ t care how the effect of the choice is on our body. But when we start to feel the connection with love within ourselves again we have the possibility to make new choices to emanate and magnify our love again.

  3. ‘ ‘it’ is not what you do but the energy you do it in’ and yet we gear ourselves up to be all about the doing rather than the how of what we’re doing. But it’s a palpable thing, this phenomenon. You only need to spend a few moments on a motorway to be able to feel the impact of how different drivers are driving – the maniac, the slow-coach, the cautious one. Everything can be felt, because everything is energy. Once we choose to begin to take responsibility for our relationship with energy, then true change can follow.

  4. It is simple – the choice to breath our own breath, to be present in all we do and allow love to weave it’s magic through us. I have tried and attended many workshops where alternative therapies were the focus and none of these brought the clear understanding that everything is energy and therefore everything is because of energy and it is the energy we choose to hold and live everyday that is what life is all about. Serge Benhayon was the first person to present this and to support me to claim all that I am as an amazing Human being and to make this my way in life. So simple yet so profound. A Beautiful, clearly articulated movement into the truth – thank you Joel.

  5. To be able to feel changes in our bodies from an increase of sensitivity so that our choice of energy is very clearly reflected in them, is the true instrument of change. We can not identify ourselves as being better and hold some idealised goal of getting anywhere because as we become more sensitivity we see more layers that are not truly who we are and so remain humble and real about what life is about.

  6. Beginning to grasp that everything is energy and that the choices we make can either allow the energy of love to flow through us or the energy of all that is not love becomes the default energy gives us the responsibility for how we choose to live. The more we live love the more love there is to live in every movement we make.

  7. To realise that we have a choice in everything we do and then take the responsibility that this entails is a huge step and something that needs to be deeply honoured and appreciated.

  8. When I first heard that everything that occurs is because of energy, I found this truth very challenging to accept. Looking back now I can feel that this was because, by knowing this fact, I was been asked to take responsibility for every choice I had made and or was ever going to make in life, and this felt like ‘a tall order’….. What! I would have to take responsibility for my ill health, my emotions, what I said or didn’t say and also for what I thought, were my private thoughts. But slowly over time I came to realise, with the support of listening to the Universal Medicine Presentations, that to live a truly loving life was to have energetic integrity as the foundation to all my choices.

  9. Understanding that there are 2 types of energy is a complete revelation, absolutely life-transforming and is only one of the many life-transforming teachings that Serge Benhayon presents. To know that we have a choice as to which energy we choose puts the ball back into our court and as a result is so empowering. Not only that it enriches life because we are no longer at the mercy of things or victims of circumstances and this brings a whole new dimension to life.

  10. It’s often thought that becoming more of our selves is a doing activity, of improving ones life. I love how this article makes it about deepening our awareness and going inwards to discover what we need to support ourselves, based on feelings within and not on what others are doing or what is seen and analysed from the outside.

  11. This is very straight to the point Joel, this is what it’s about it is about knowing everything is energy and thus everything is because of energy, and that we have a conscious choice of what energy we use to live with. That one that keeps us in the struggle of life or the one that makes is truly see what life is about, abundant beauty in everything, reflected in that what we feel within.

  12. I too studied Natural Therapies and was caught up in the illusion that I had found the answer not knowing that there was so much more to life than what we see, understanding that there are two different sources of energy to choose from allowed me to discern and feel for myself the truth of what I was involved in and to let go and unlearn that which was not from a true nature.

  13. Universal Medicine Modalities allows us to connect to that innate love within all of us and to let go and understand that we are not our patterns or abusive behaviours as they are just the result of the imposition of the world that is asking us to look for who we are outside of ourselves never looking within at the glory that we already are.

  14. “This was when friends and family started to notice I was changing. Some were happy for me to learn this stuff – but not if it meant I would stop drinking alcohol etc. Some felt the change and wanted to know more, others drifted off. Either way, change, real change, was taking place.” It amazes me how people become concerned when we make more loving choices in our lives and yet see nothing wrong with excessive consumption of alcohol, which in truth is a poison to the body.

  15. “Diet no longer became a regime but a choice to be loving towards myself”….this is true what you write here Joel. And very profound and could put the multi billion weight loss industry on its head if more people lived like this. It is truly the only ‘diet’ that truly works – the more loving towards ourselves we are, the less harm we want to do with ourselves and that includes eating foods that do not support our body.

  16. For me this insight was a great realization: “. . . ‘it’ is not what you do but the energy you do it in . . . ” Since I got this deeper understanding I know that I am the only one who is responsible for my life – how beautiful is that!

  17. Finding out that there are two sources of energy changed my life completely. It is an ongoing learning discerning the energy I am in as I can so easily deceive myself and usually find this out when I am drained by the ‘doing’ having left the ‘being’ behind by one little override of a message my body has sent me that I have left in the inbox unopened! All a work in progress.

  18. Joel, you have once again captured so beautifully the very ordinary yet profound path of finding your way back to your true self again. I like the way you appreciated what your parents had offered in the way of understanding there is more to life than meets the eye. Although there wasn’t an understanding that everything is energy in my home, God, reincarnation, spirits etc were accepted and openly discussed as fact. I feel this put me in good stead to at least be open to greater possibilities.

  19. I also studied other energetic modalities and meditations before I discovered Universal Medicine. Yes, we got to play with energy and there was at times a wow factor, but never did they make it clear that there were only two energies to play with! One energy is love, which allows me to be me. The other is not love, which actually plays with me, making me think, act and speak in any way other than being the real me.

  20. Very cool blog Joel – showing exactly that our choices, life, is in our hands and that we have the power to change it, no one else for us. We are here to come back and re-unite to our one and only Soul and life from there best capable as we had done before (previous lifes, ancient times). There is no such thing as outer search and or need once the true inner-search has begun…

  21. A few years ago now I practiced a range of complementary therapies. Discussing and learning about energy was part of what we learned. But it was all concept and I have to say I never truly grasped it. It all seemed out their somewhere. Learning that there was an energy that was love and an energy that was not love is something that made a lot of sense, very practical and very liveable and most importantly we make the choice – love or not love. Looking forward to the next instalment…

  22. Without this marker of love in our body we are actually tossed about by the energies running through us without having a real say in it. To develop an awareness of the 2 types of energy available to choose and allow to govern our every move is crucial and at the core of the teachings of Serge Benhayon, taught from the first lesson onwards. Restoring true sense of love, harmony and truth means to let go of what is not of that same quality.

  23. A great last line “Either way, change, real change, was taking place.” That for me sums up the differences between my years of exploring spirituality, New Age, personal development etc, because I had momentary improvements then back into the same emotion, energy and cycle again. In fact, after a decade or more of exploring not only did I feel back at square one, I felt even worse. Coming to Universal Medicine is like finding the real deal because real, lasting and very joyful change takes place.

  24. I too was aware that there was something else, energy behind what we did, but I also did not discern that there were different types of energy – ‘Love and everything else’. Universal Medicine was the first to present this universal truth to me. With this awareness and understanding I can now see how we just become puppets to the ‘everything else’ energy when we just open ourselves up to energy the way in which many alternative and complementary therapies do. If we do not make a choice to choose Love, then our default is to choose ‘not love’, so when I was training as an aromatherapist many years ago, and through all of my explorations and searchings in all things spiritual, I thought I was doing ‘good’ by being aware of and using energy, but in fact what I was doing was calling in the ‘what is not love’ and further cementing myself and others into a world that is not aware that we have a choice.

  25. I agree Joel, to know that there is more to life and to consider the energetic aspect of life is a great start, but only when we learn to discern which type of energy runs our body can we actually start to make a choice for love to be the fuel in our life and nothing but love.

  26. Number 1 – I agree Joel, there is definitely something more that is missing from our present understanding of the human body. The reality that there is both an energetic health and a physical health is that missing piece of the puzzle and only when we accept this we will get the true appreciation of the bigger picture and understanding of the root of all disease and illness.

  27. To understand that there are two types of energy to choose from is a quantum leap to live our life from, as without we are simply caught up in where life takes us, disempowered that there is actually a freedom to have.

  28. I love how simply and relatable you share your experiences Joel, especially the part about energy and what is behind feeling and thinking a certain way. It also shows why family and friends around you react or not when you start to make loving changes, as it depends on what energy they are using to live their lives, The energy that feeds unloving choices is not going to allow you to see that they are unloving and will offer many substitutes or even reasons why they are ‘good’ for you. This exposes what energy is running many clinical trials, that promote substances that are harmful for our bodies, as being good for us.

  29. I completely agree – I did try a few other ‘energy’ healing methods before Universal Medicine, and indeed there were some obvious blind spots that would have exposed themselves as questionable yet I didn’t see – like they all talked about everything being energy, yet there always were some things that were conveniently exempt from its ruling.

    1. I agree Nicola – huge amounts of efforts go into resisting who we are and the awareness we have about life and each other. Dropping the game and re-learning to simply be is a beautiful reawakening.

      1. Isn’t it the most peculiar thing ever that we have to learn how to be and isn’t it absurd that we avoid being ourselves when we are all so super gorgeous at essence.

  30. I love that through a series of awarenesses you have come to realize the power of taking responsibility for your choices and of being more of yourself in the world… with this as your foundation of how you move through life… any change can only be deeply positive.

  31. Me, the missing piece in the puzzle – who would have thought it? I have to say, it is very true in my experience too. Once I returned to the connection with myself, my life started to feel very different, more whole, more complete….more me.

  32. Joel, this blog is so simple and honest and delivers an understanding that many can greatly benefit from. The concept of actually responding to what we feel is the gift here. For we all feel what hurts and harms us, but knowing we can respond to these feelings and choose to care for ourselves with a deeply caring integrity is the beauty you offer.

  33. I loved reading your blog Joel, realising we have a choice sounds simple, and it is, we can then begin to truly understand what taking responsibility is. Not so much in what we choose to do, but the source of energy we have re-connected to that brings the quality of love in all we do. Things do change, for what has not been true has nothing to fuel it.

  34. There’s the understanding that everything is energy and then there’s the actual honouring and living of that in each moment. And that is very much what I am coming to understand now, and reading your description Joel, of the stages in this is a great reminder. It’s about stepping back and understanding that it’s energy at play always and the end bit the physical is the final part, for ourselves and what we see and feel in others. And with more deepening understanding of this I’m learning to make things less personal and it gives more space for me to actually see what is going on in life and there is so much more to it than the physical.

  35. A great and in-depth reminder that everything is energy. Making life just about the human aspect is a reduction of everything that is, no wonder life does not make sense for many, of course it doesn’t when energy is left out of the equation. Our thoughts, movements, emotions, reactions, feelings, responses, sensations… everything is a by-product of energy first. This is a huge key to navigating and observing life.

  36. “…..’it’ is not what you do but the energy you do it in …. ” Once this is accepted it changes completely how one perceives and understands the world as the cause of why something is the way it is different. This is a paradigm shift from the generally accepted viewpoint.

  37. Joel one of the big things that stands out for me which Universal Medicine has shown me is that no matter what, whether I want to accept it or not, I have always had a choice. And with that knowing that nothing is ever before me that i am already equipped to deal with and so cannot use the excuse that was too hard or life is too hard etc,, we are here to learn to return back to the love we are – no less.

  38. I can well relate to many years of searching, and then coming to something very different in meeting Serge Benhayon and the work of Universal Medicine. ‘Real change’ indeed began taking shape in the way I lived my life also, in a way that came from within. Yes, inspired by topics raised at presentations and workshops… but fundamentally, this change came about through having connected to a part of myself I came to realise I had long negated – the essential ‘spark’ of me, the part of me that has always known truth and will ever-know it. Thing was, before meeting Serge Benhayon, I had not come across anyone who walked, lived, breathed and embodied the truth of who we are.
    The power of another’s reflection, to inspire and reignite our own essential spark within, that IT may lead the way for us in our lives, is beyond compare…

  39. One of the most powerful things I have learnt from Universal Medicine presentations is the truth about the 2 different types of energy available to us, knowing this and choosing to live with this awareness is a game changer that allows us to discern and understand so much about life.

  40. Realising I had a choice in the way my life turned out was both the most rewarding and the most confronting. It meant I had to take action and it was all down to me, but with that there was a reluctance because I could no longer hide behind the comfortable excuses that it was other peoples fault, or it was just the way things were.

  41. Loving choices rather than must dos or have tos are sustainable. It’s very powerful to change your way of thinking in this way.

  42. “In the past the teachings were ‘everything is energy’, so just open yourself up to that energy.” That is scary and irresponsibly giving your power over to energy without discerning there is obviously an energy that is cunning, deceptive, corrupt, bias, untrustworthy … Universal Medicine teaches this principle to what energies there are and how to discern. I have come across no other organisation that does this.

  43. “I began to take responsibility for my life at an energetic level: I chose to ‘feel’ how, or what I was eating, drinking and doing at any given time.” Super cool. Feeling versus thinking the practical difference between the 2 energies and type of choices that can be made. “Through this awareness, I had given myself true choice… to either choose things that are loving, or not.” – the power within a choice.

  44. It is very surprising with the modalities I have learnt in the past that never once was I warned about the fact that it is not what you do but the energy you do it in, especially since I practiced Acupuncture, an energy based therapy.

  45. This is huge Joel, being aware of what we are choosing, and so being able to choose things that are loving or that are not, instead of just thinking we are being loving, ‘Through this awareness, I had given myself true choice… to either choose things that are loving, or not.’

  46. The process of becoming more of who we are is a fascinating one. Sometimes, in this process, we take deviations and become less of ourselves as we grab on to the knowledge of what we think we know, or reinterpret what we’ve learned as rules. But this is the key to it all: there are no rules, only the will to intently listen to the body and honour its messages. The mind can make up all kinds of stories about which energy it thinks its choosing, so as to not have to take responsibility for behaviours, but the body always knows what kind of energy we’re running it with.

  47. The realisation that we have a choice is an ice-breaker – one that cracks the casing of living in existence and allows us to live in livingness. In other words, knowing that we have the choice between the energy that runs through our body is extremely empowering and sets the tone for every detail of our life.

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