The Six Stages of ‘Becoming Me’ (so far anyway): Part 2

by Joel L (Australia)

In the last article – The Six Stages of ‘Becoming Me’ (so far anyway): Part 1 –  I was exploring the first three stages of the process of ‘becoming me’. This next article explores stages four to six and flows on from that…

4)     Realising that my intention affected everything:

So things were changing – I was taking more responsibility for my life. My energy levels were picking up, I was needing less sleep but becoming more productive, the quality of my relationships was improving. So I must have been about ‘there’, right? Wrong….

While most other modalities I have gone to in the past offered to ‘help me’, the esoteric modalities got to a point where their benefits were limited by my own willingness or unwillingness to be responsible for my own healing.

I still went to different practitioners, but the benefits I received from each treatment were in direct relationship with what I was going to the practitioner for in the first place. For example: if I was going to have my life choices ‘cleaned up’, the treatment was less effective, but if I was going to ‘build a body of love’, then each session would be as amazing as I allowed it to be.

So I realised that my intention affected my level of healing (and everything else)… If I wanted someone to fix me, I got momentary relief: if I wanted to more fully connect to myself, to learn to live as me, then I got just that.

5)     Realising that no workshop, book or other person makes my choices:

This was a confronting phase: I spent lots of time here being frustrated at how hard the world was making it for me to be me… yes, I was blaming others!

Surely if I was doing all this work, building all this awareness, it should be getting easier… Yes, I was wanting a reward, and to a degree wanting an excuse to give up.

In truth, life was getting easier, but I was more committed to finding something to fix – and to believing that I was not the one able to fix it.

Whenever I connected to me, the message was ‘you are enough’, but despite that, I would keep looking for the noise outside that place of connection.

I was convinced that everyone who was saying ‘it’s inside you’, was wrong. I was convinced that if I could get my wife, my kids, and the world around me to be more loving, I could then be love.

Eventually I had nowhere else to turn but to the humble reality that it did all come back to me…

6)     Becoming a student of myself:

One day I stopped fighting, stopped looking outside myself.  I wish I could say this occurred by a parting of the clouds and a bright light, but it didn’t.

This change came about by a willingness to take responsibility for the frustration, the desire to give up and any other emotion. Eventually, by taking responsibility for what I was feeling, there was not as much emotion in the way and what was left was… me.

The learning about taking energetic responsibility continues: it’s not something I expect to get right all the time but I live with me, the real me, more than at any other time in my life. There are still choices to be made every day – like what to eat, work to be done, kids to be looked after, and chores to be completed. I beat myself up less for my choices (past and present) and I feel more vitality than ever before, but I know I am far from the end.

In most stories this is the moment of epiphany…. but not in this case.  The epiphany occurred back at stage two with Universal Medicine’s invitation to consider that while some people might be energetically aware, we are not all energetically discerning.

Love is not looking for a happy ending, it just wants me to be me (the real me)… more and more every day.

If this is what love might be, I can’t wait for the next step.

Part 1: The Six Stages of ‘Becoming Me’ (so far anyway): Part 1

142 thoughts on “The Six Stages of ‘Becoming Me’ (so far anyway): Part 2

  1. I used to believe that the only reason I felt different after a healing session was because the practitioner was so amazing (which they were!). I very much saw myself in the passenger seat, as a passive receiver of healing. It was Esoteric Yoga that broke this belief, as there was no one placing needles or their hands on me. The significant changes I felt in my body over the session could only be down to my choices.

  2. I love how you said that love is not about a happy ending, it’s about being me. Very recently I have had a run of people reacting to me. Interestingly this is something that I would have run from in the past and done everything possible to avoid any kind of what I thought was confrontation. But what I am realising is that it is much more important to be true and stuff up than it is to try and get it right and attempt to fit in by being nice. This has been huge and the walls haven’t fallen in. The reaction of others is not for me to take on, but to simply observe make note and learn.

  3. I had a few laugh out loud moments Joel as your candour was delightful, but also because I could relate to what you shared! So much awesome wisdom shared here, and I will be looking to become more aware of my intentions, particularly in practitioner sessions and why I am there.

  4. I love the way you share your unfolding and the steps that you had to take Joel, this shows how there is always a next step to take as we forever expand and evolve in this universe.

  5. Number 4 – I love the wisdom here. Cleaning up a mess is great but if you just replace it with the same mess nothing has changed so I totally agree with you Joel, it’s much more effective to replace what you need to cleared away by filling that same space will love.

  6. Number 5 – two-fold wisdom here. Realising that you cannot blame another for your own choices is the first step. The second is realising that all our choices accumulate and form the platform we found our next choice upon. So as we lift the quality of our past choices with our present choices it founds a more loving quality to expand from and seeds forth a magnetic pull that allows the opportunity for even more loving choices to come to us. Accepting we are enough exactly as we are imperfections and all is the major contributor to this foundation.

  7. Oh yes, learning that it all comes back to us, has been revelatory and very revealing for me, seeing that it all comes back to the choices I make and how willing I am to live who I am in any situation or setting. It definitely takes blame out of the equation… well we can still use it if we choose but it definitely shows that it’s useless and just keeps us in the same unloving momentum longer.

  8. I love that through all the stages you have woken up to or developed, that you now find yourself at a place of greater understanding for yourself and the world and move forward without expectation of getting it right all the time but rather just choose to be with you as much as possible with every choice, knowing that is the best guide you can have through life.

  9. The pursuit of happiness that once made up a large part of my existence is now being replaced with the awareness that I am, and we all are, innately joy-full beings. In the pursuit, happiness was always just out of reach, something to be attained, something off in the future somewhere, tantalising for sure, but never quite attained – at least not for very long. The reconnection to self, reveals that there is an essential beingness in us, that is not in pursuit of anything but that already is ‘everything’. What is shared here in Joel’s blog is very wise. We are students of ourselves – and in my view, when we realise this, we are on the right track.

  10. “Intention”, it is but a word, yet it holds the key to unlocking the grandness that lies with in all of us. For how can we begin to explore what is within unless we intend to do so.

  11. Joel you have a way of expressing that is for all – is universal. The support your blogs bring as a result is immense. You are a torch-bearer for those of us choosing to stumble around in the dark whilst holding our own unlit torch.

  12. Joel, I love the clarity you bring in what you share here, it’s very supportive and I almost laughed (winced more like) when you described how with the Esoteric modalities it’s about what we are willing to take there, and it forever offers us back where we are wiling to go, and exposes any place where we are conditional and so right now reading your sharing has supported me in seeing another level of how I bargain with the world, I will do this, if I get that, and so I’m learning that maybe I can be love anyway no matter what. Another level of the journey.

  13. ‘Realising that no workshop, book or other person makes my choices..’
    Ain’t that the truth! I’ve found workshops, books and sessions from Universal Medicine modality practitioners a HUGE support that always offer another level to go to with myself, but, no matter how many sessions I have or workshops I go to, the choice to go there with myself is always my own.

    1. I agree as well Rachael – no one can do it for us and we always have a choice. After all we live with ourselves 24/7 and so it makes sense. To think or want a person or a course to make things better for us is giving our power away – ultimately whatever is before us is for us to learn something and so we should embrace it rather than fear or contract away from it.

  14. I love your step 4 that intention is everything – ultimately something I have found is that so much of what I do is essentially for self gain and self preservation and not truly for humanity.There is such a difference when we let the self go and do what is needed to be done. There is no call or seeking for recognition and no reward needed. Suddenly you find yourself in the moment not worrying or thinking about the outcome or what may be because you know the quality of what you are doing will take care of that. I have felt and sensed that feeling and the more I live it the more natural it becomes. Saying that it is our natural way of being we have just strayed so far away from it it seems hard to sustain it whereas it actually takes a lot of energy to sustain the other, that is the constant drive and search for recognition and approval.

  15. By virtue of the nature of love, there can be no ‘end’ can there Joel… For love has no fixed outcome, no fixed point to reach – there is always a deeper level, a more expanded knowing and experience.
    Not to seek any point of perfection whatsoever, but actually to appreciate that in knowing love, we are communing with the divine, with the part of ourselves that IS love, and has awaited our returning and listening to its promptings for so very long (for the most of us, I would say…).

  16. ‘Love is not looking for a happy ending, it just wants me to be me (the real me)… more and more every day.’ Beautiful and simple wisdom Joel, the more steps we take towards love we find an endless supply of love continually waiting for us to connect to and embrace.

  17. Joel its very interesting what you share about your intention especially in the case of going for a healing session. I know I have often gone for a session hoping to be ‘fixed.’ I agree that we do in fact limit what we can connect to and heal if our intentions are about relinquishing responsibility.

  18. It is very loving to understand the power of intention. Is what you are doing support and benefit just you or benefit many? You can reach both outcomes but there is a significant difference in what shapes our world. It’s also important to not confuse this with ‘good’ because self-gratification and self-recognition is for self. It’s a big one and great to be aware of.

  19. Intention, wow how many people go for healing to try to be fixed, and as you point out that only brings momentary relief, whereas if we are truly looking to heal and be responsible for this, it is very different, ‘ So I realised that my intention affected my level of healing (and everything else)… If I wanted someone to fix me, I got momentary relief: if I wanted to more fully connect to myself, to learn to live as me, then I got just that.’

    1. I went to Practitioners, bought supplements, did this course and that course all because I wanted to be fixed and didn’t really want to take any responsibility for how I was living. In this energy I gave my power away constantly because I thought I was broken. No wonder the healthcare system is under such overwhelm, stress and exhaustion.

  20. Ha ha, how we want people and the world to change first, instead of being responsible and realising change starts with self first, only then can we show others a different way, and it is then their choice what they do with this. ‘I was convinced that if I could get my wife, my kids, and the world around me to be more loving, I could then be love.’

  21. I’ve run with that belief if I didn’t have this one in my life or this person at my work or if the kids were sorted then I would be fine and I would have no issues… the thing is I realised I liked issues because they kept me distracted from myself. Once I realised that in truth I really didn’t have any issues, We really are the only ones that can take responsibility for our own healing, love, appreciation and acceptance ourselves.

    1. It’s fascinating watching ourselves as we create our own drama and issues out of basically nothing. All a big game and distraction that we use to stay individual and avoid getting on with our purpose of living deeper levels of truth and love.

  22. “but if I was going to ‘build a body of love’, then each session would be as amazing as I allowed it to be.”
    Bringing this choice to our sessions and our everyday life makes living a grand experience of learning, understanding and humbleness. True healing cvan not but happen as one builds their body of love with the deepest of loving dedication.

  23. The understanding and appreciation that in our essence we are love and that there is nothing to ‘fix’ of the being within and it is the wayward spirit that we have a responsibility to bring back to being at one with the Soul.

  24. Human beings need to give themselves more credit. We can read life beyond what we see because we actually see life at the level of intention and not just the physicality of how that plays out. This to me speak volumes of how amazing we are and how we each have an intimate relationship with energy.

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