Inspired by Serge Benhayon: From Marriage Breakdown to True Responsibility

For the last 34 years I have been in a relationship with the same man. Our first two years together were quite harmonious and supportive… but then we got married. Once the contract was signed everything changed, and we started to live out the roles and expectations we had learnt from our individual perceptions and experiences. I became the responsible wife who organised our lives and he became the provider, even though we both worked full-time.

The playing of these roles was further reinforced when we became parents. Over time, and with the birth of seven (7) children, a wedge developed between us. From my perspective, I never truly felt supported and deeply resented that I was left to carry out most of the parenting and domestic organisation. From my husband’s perspective, he felt I should be grateful that he earned a reasonable living and did some jobs around the house.

My resentment resulted in my blaming my husband for his lack of support and withdrawing myself from him. In reaction to my rejection, he was either aggressive or totally withdrawn from the family. So a cycle developed with each of us protecting our hurts, which resulted in more hurt for ourselves and our children.

Just over three years ago, with some health issues presenting, I started seeing some Esoteric Practitioners and attending workshops presented by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. In this period, I began to address how I invested in my role as a mother, and how I was the one who was not truly supporting me.

Slowly I began to take better care of myself, and essentially became more aware of my pattern of blaming another to avoid feeling my own hurts. In the beginning, my husband found some of my self-loving choices hard to deal with and wanted me to stop attending Universal Medicine. This was definitely not helped by my judgment of his choices.

In the last year, the relationship has been less tense, but still there was no true commitment to develop true responsibility in the relationship. From my perspective, this was because I felt my husband was not willing to step up to what it meant to have a truly loving relationship (judgment and blame again). So I decided that I needed to end the relationship, which saw my husband reluctantly agreeing to move out.

This presented a level of sadness that surprised me. I discovered that I felt devastated that he appeared not willing to do whatever it took to address the wedge that had been created 30 years earlier.

With a new place rented, all the necessary purchases made, and one week to go before the separation, I had the amazing opportunity to speak to Serge Benhayon at a workshop. In this simple interaction, I got to feel how I was the one not opening to being truly loved, and the true responsibility I held as a woman.

I came to feel that I truly loved my husband and that I was not truly opening to love due to not wanting to be hurt anymore. This had resulted in my husband feeling rejected by me in spite of all the changes I had made within myself.

After a deeply honest conversation with my husband, we decided to commit to developing our relationship, so he did not move out.

Each day since is offering me another opportunity to be more responsible for my choice to not close down to love in the face of the hurts that present. This is not always easy, as sometimes I want to avoid feeling the hurt and go back into my pattern of blame. There are even times when the old way of being seems like it will never truly change and the thought of separation feels like a welcome escape. When this presents I know I am in resistance, and that there is more hurt to be felt – which I know is my way forward to enable me to develop more love in our relationship.

In the end, I understand there are no guarantees as each of us needs to commit to our own responsibility to ourselves first, which then extends to the relationship.

I can honestly say that without speaking to Serge, my husband and I would have separated, as I did not want to take responsibility for my own choice to not be open to love. I understand that my commitment to the embracing of all that Serge presented allowed me to be truly honest about where I was in my relationship.

What was preventing me connecting to the truth that I truly loved my husband, was the hurt and resentment of the expectations and roles round-about we had bought into and lived.

With a deeper awareness of true responsibility, I feel committed to claiming a deeper love within myself and sharing this with my husband, family and everyone I come into contact with. I cannot express enough the deep appreciation for Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine’s continuous reminder – that life is about love. 

by Sharon, Brisbane, Australia

226 thoughts on “Inspired by Serge Benhayon: From Marriage Breakdown to True Responsibility

  1. A truly courageous blog, stating where you’re at with yourself and your marriage when the outcome is all to play for. Blame and judgment are real killers in any relationship but this line grabbed me – ‘…there is more hurt to be felt – which I know is my way forward to enable me to develop more love in our relationship’. A real testament to the level of responsibility and love you have committed to.

  2. I could really relate to the ideals and beliefs we often buy into about relationships which are under-pinned by undealt with hurt, expectations and resentments. The main point to me here is not ultimately whether or not couples choose to stay together, because this needs to be felt in relation to where each person is at in the relationship and with themselves, but about the commitment to taking responsibility for our own hurts and our commitment to bringing love to ourselves and then to the relationship, in whatever form or state of process that may be.

  3. This is gold for me right now Sharon and it makes sense how we get stuck into the roles and expectations.
    Having spent many years of our married life not speaking up to each other and holding onto our resentments, we found it a bit daunting at first but gradually it has become easier and for the best part we don’t take it personally, maybe because of the way it has been said. This does give us a platform of honesty whereby we can now point out to each other when an old pattern comes up, without worrying about being rejected and if there is a reaction that’s ok also.

    1. Yes Julie expectations are interwoven in so many parts of lives and can make it a bit tricky when talking through resentments and taking responsibility for choices we have made.

  4. It never ceases to amaze that the deeper we go in committing to and truly loving ourselves the more love-filled our lives become. It seems counter intuitive – rather selfish infact – but it is what enables us to stop and feel any hurts that need healing and this makes more love available to be felt within and ultimately shared with others.

  5. Reading this blog and the accompanying comments is so beautiful – I feel an opening to letting in more love and expressing how I feel. When the blame and resentment build up and the finger gets pointed it is only too true that all the other fingers are pointing back at you and your own choices. The sooner we surrender to taking full responsibility for this, the more loving our next choices and communications can be.

    1. Beautifully said True Gem. The blame trap is such a great way to avoid taking responsibility and missing out on the true learning that comes from our experiences. When we step out of the blame game we get to see our responsibility and address that rather than focus all of our energy on another and what they are or are not choosing.

  6. We bring so many hurts and expectations to all our relationships, that really, we should expect to say… New relationship equals full-time counselling… or…! We do a few courses with Serge Benhayon, stabbed to know who we truly are, feel and start to heal those age-old hurts, and finally… Finally start to have the true relationship based on the profound and true love that is in us all.

  7. We can carry resentments and hurts from relationship to relationship, and we will experience the same patterns again and again, until we actually choose to break the cycle, take responsibility for all our thoughts and our actions, start to heal these age old hurts, and then finally bring to a relationship all that we are .

    1. This is a super important point, we think when we start a fresh and new relationship that we start afresh, but we take with us every other past experience and hurt wherever we go. Taking the responsibility and initiative to begin to heal these hurts means we can truly begin afresh relationship where we can be who we are in full.

  8. Thank you for sharing Sharon how you became more deeply committed to your relationship rather than, as you say, escaping from it.

  9. Sharon, I love the fact that you stayed together and were prepared to work on the relationship together and as individuals. It has been a learning for me to accept that we are on our own individual journeys in life and I do not have control over that! Allow , Accept, Appreciate!

  10. All those hurts, all those roles that are played which stop people being able to love and let live, honour the beautiful deep woman or tender man on the inside ~ you share this so beautifully Sharon.

  11. This is a beautiful reminder of how important it is to be fully honest and true to yourself before projecting that onto another as being their issue. No true healing can ever occur when we do this.

  12. “What was preventing me connecting to the truth that I truly loved my husband, was the hurt and resentment of the expectations and roles round-about we had bought into and lived.” Thank you Sharon, so many relationships don’t work out because of expectations, our hurts getting in the way and us choosing to blame another instead of honestly looking at ourselves.

  13. Funny how the playfulness in our relationships fade and we buy into all these ideals and beliefs that never come from our heart. As if that is part of growing up while really growing up is all about knowing and honouring ourselves, being honest about our behaviours (laughing about them too) and making life about love. There is so much to appreciate about ourselves and every human being.

  14. We can be so judgemental and stubborn that we can accuse the other party of not being enough for us because we are the ones that don’t actually want to face our own hurts. This is where it comes down to a constant commitment to self awareness.

    1. I agree Luke. Self-awareness and self honesty are so important in any relationship. One question I like to ask myself is ‘am I bringing what is needed to this relationship or am I waiting for another to do so’. This always turns it back to me and my responsibility.

      1. I love this question, thank you Vicky. The moment we are waiting for the other to do or be something, why not do or be it ourselves?

      2. I love this question too, and often if I ask myself that in a situation where there is tension or conflict, the honest answer is no, I’m not bringing everything I could to the relationship. It helps shift the momentum of blame, and helps me commit to taking more responsibility for my part in relationships.

  15. Thank you Sharon for this you have shared. I have found too, as soon as we go into blame of another, then we are missing the opportunity to see to the deepest level, our responsibility and our part in the equation. The more we can honestly seek to understand what has been presented to us, the greater awareness is there for us and thus a choice, and a huge potential to discard that within us that is not loving and does not serve. I am beginning to learn the freedom this brings and the space to then allow a greater form of Love in.

  16. Sharon, a very honest blog. It’s hard to admit sometimes that we hold back our love because of the old hurts that we hold on to. When we drop into old habits, it’s a sure sign that something needs looking at.

  17. “With a deeper awareness of true responsibility, I feel committed to claiming a deeper love within myself and sharing this with my husband, family and everyone I come into contact with.” Thankyou for your honest sharing Sharon. Committing to ourselves is so important and then we can share this with others. Regardless of whether we stay or leave a relationship, we need to heal, otherwise we just take the same issues onwards in our lives – to the next relationship or they can resurface in the same one.

  18. I find it fascinating how relationships have so many layers to them. On the surface it may look very clear and it’s easy to blame others for the part they play or aren’t playing when the going gets tough. Yet what you have highlighted here with your blog Sharon is that the huge, but essential, starting point is to stop and honestly look for the blind spots we individually have that are contributing to the situation. Well worth a few re-reads as there is much to reflect on here – thank you!

  19. Thanks Sharon for your honesty and sharing. I wonder how often our behaviours and thoughts are driven from the desire to protect ourselves from looking closely at ourselves and our hurts. Clearly, we can live for years under an illusion that how we see things is the way it is, when in fact its just a distraction from the truth of a situation. It highlights to me just how huge the topic of self responsibility actually is.

  20. Thank you Sharon for your honest sharing that I can take much from. Looking back at my own failed marriage I can see clearly now my part in this, since being part of Universal Medicine, and listening to the Presentations on relationships by Serge Benhayon. If only we had this knowledge and wisdom before being in relationship with another, as those who have access to this learning now have, making for some truly strong relationships.

  21. Really beautiful Sharon, so honest and full of responsibility. To truly and deeply feel the hurts that have built up over such a long time is huge and not something we easily want to do. Having a conversation with Serge Benhayon, a man who is constantly accused of breaking up marriages (none of which is true), but you story is testament to the fact that any relationship is about responsibility and choices. You spoke with him, he made it about love, for you and your husband and you made a choice to be more love, which resulted in you ‘staying’ in the relationship. Amazing and very inspiring.

  22. A beautiful and honest sharing Sharon, it is interesting how holding onto our hurts stops us experiencing the very thing we all want – true love.

  23. Thank you Sharon for sharing so honestly, I could see myself in this. It feels awful when I fall into the pattern of blaming my husband for my own hurt. I see the pitfalls now and there is a pattern of when I’m not giving love to myself then I’m looking for it from him. This causes a tension between us. What is wonderful though is through the support of Universal Medicine therapies and Serge Benhayon we are both more aware of when its our own stuff now and we can work on re-connecting to ourselves and each other. Not always easy but we are constantly blown away by the love and honouring we have for each other when we bring responsibility into our relationship.

  24. A great sharing, revealing just how easy it is to get caught in the blame trap when in fact it’s our very own hurts that are getting in the way of expressing and receiving love.

  25. Just imagine… Breaking the cycle of recreating and repeating our hurts in our relationships, and understanding our self enough so that we can enter into a relationship fresh and clear and understanding the true beauty of ourselves and each other.

  26. My cycle of going from partner to partner changed when I met Serge Benhayon and began to understand my part in that cycle, of blaming others or situations as Sharon has so well expressed. I am now in a very solid relationship and married to my wife and feel how much potential there is in opening up even more to love everyday. I know that this would not be and that cycle of changing partners would not have ceased if it wasn’t for Serge Benhayon and the very real and practical wisdom he presents.

  27. I just met a beautiful man and this blog deeply inspires me. I can see where I go into old patterns where I don’t want to get hurt and this is just wonderful to observe. I am being invited to open up more and where I have left off in my last relationship. And boy am I opening up…I feel quite naked but the beauty is, I am not naked, I am just more open to love. Every day a little bit more….

  28. Wow – this is the difference between a relationship that works and a relationship that breaks apart – it’s the willingness and commitment to always work at it and go deeper and learn about life together. I love it!

  29. I too have been greatly inspired by Serge Benhayon and have learned that when ever a relationship seems to not work I need to look at what I am contributing to making it work – have I given it all I can or am I expecting the other to do it all, whilst I try to stay in my comfort?

  30. How revealing it is to understand that we carry our hurts and conceptions and beliefs about relationships on and on, like a virus, that just goes from host to host, until we start to take full responsibility for our selves our actions and our choices and really start to heal

  31. Thank you Sharon for a beautiful sharing, of how opening up to the love you are and not protecting your hurts allowed your relationship breakdown to be healed. I have in the past shut down so much of me to not feel the hurts, but this is the way to love, to feel them, and let them go and open up to love.

  32. A brilliant description of what can hamper and eventually destroy a relationship, captured beautifully in the metaphor of the ‘expectations and roles round-about’ that comes from the many illusory images we all try to live up to and out

  33. When both people in a relationship make a commitment to go deeper, and to feel and own the hurts that are being held in the relationship, then evolution happens and this is amazing to feel. I know this because I have been there in my relationship- we have gone from stagnation to a true commitment to evolution. As you have shared, Sharon, opening up to love is the key.

  34. Sharon your blog is quite disarming, as it is so honest, raw and humbling in how you were prepared to share your personal details with all. It is clear that you were in an amazing place when you wrote this blog and I sincerely feel with all my being that if you were able to hold these qualities consistently in your life what a beacon of light you would be for all relationships.

  35. Thankyou for your courage in sharing this. I too – many years ago – similarly held resentment against my then husband – and insights from Serge Benhayon enabled me to see it was I who had left the relationship emotionally first. Communicating honestly about how we feel is SO important, maybe especially more so after having children.

  36. What an amazing and inspiring sharing Sharon. It can be challenging to take responsibility for the lack of love in our lives and it is clear that Serge Benhayon supported you to do this. It is ludicrous that the media attempted to paint Serge Benhayon as a man who destroys marriages when countless couples can attest to the fact that he has supported them to develop truly loving relationships with each other. A great relationship is not defined by the number of years together but by the quality we are with each other and Serge Benhayon has inspired thousands to commit to being truly loving with themselves and others.

  37. What a great inspiring blog. You have shown when one takes responsibility to love one self then we can take responsibility for our relationship. It is when we get lost in the hurts, the anger and frustration that we cannot even feel we are closing ourselves down from love. When we are like this we give messages of rejection to out partners. It is important to love our selves first and then it is this love that inspires others to share their love.

  38. The ideals and beliefs we carry with us can be a heavy burden and obstacle to appreciating the true love that can blossom if we let go of our perceived hurts and judgments and open up to be all the love that we naturally are.

  39. Thank you Sharon for sharing so openly and so honestly how you came to the awareness that, first and foremost life is about love. Your willingness, to take responsibility and look at what was preventing you from connecting to the truth of the fact, that you truly loved your husband, is deeply inspiring.

  40. Thank you Sharon for sharing this blog, I relate to it very well. I have been in a long term relationship for over 14 years and similar things comes up for me. I too often resort to blaming others for how I am feeling but now I realise I am often not willing to be loved due to past hurts. Realising this is great but learning to let my protective guards down isn’t always so easy. But a step at a time, I can chip away at these old habit, expectation, needed and belief within my protective wall to allow more love to be received and expressed. So, reading your blog is an awesome reminder to keep working through this and choose love more consistently.

  41. Often a lot of complication, abuse or disharmony that goes on in our relationships is in one way or another a reflection of where we need to go deeper in our relationship with our self, intimacy and letting people truly in.

  42. Thank you for sharing your story Sharon it was deeply touching to read. Relationships teach us so much about ourselves and when we are willing to really address our need to blame and judge others rather than take responsibility for our self we are so much more open to love. In the 37 years I have been married I feel I have experienced all you have written here except during our time we have lived separately on quite a few occasions and still are at the moment. These times living apart have allowed me to build the relationship with myself that was desperately lacking and greatly needed.

  43. Everyday offers us a new day to be responsible – I love that – it doesn’t matter what you’ve done in the past, everyday is a new day and we can embrace it with a renewed responsibility.

  44. This blog really demonstrates how it’s never too late to make a true and firm commitment, and that commitment can literally change everything around – I love it.

  45. One of the most common contributor to the demise of relationships is the lack of responsibility and the manipulation and games that come with it, commitment to our own relationship is the first step in building true intimacy with another.

  46. How often does it happen in relationships that through not looking after ourselves, we resent caring and attending to others. Resentment and bitterness comes from our own lack of self care and love. Change this relationship with ourselves and all our relationships change.

  47. Wow Sharon your openness is amazing! You are really a true role model as you showed us what it meant to take true responsibility . . . it changed not only your relationship it also changed the world around you.

  48. ‘What was preventing me connecting to the truth that I truly loved my husband, was the hurt and resentment of the expectations and roles round-about we had bought into and lived.’ I so understand what you are presenting here and it is very inspiring to see that you were able to stay with yourself and the love that you are to see this relationship through.

  49. ‘Once the contract was signed everything changed’. How interesting… so often when the deed is done we stop trying to evolve together and settle for an arrangement – kind of ‘that’s as far as I have to go’. When I say it out loud like that I can’t believe how given up that is, and at the same time its an energy I know so well in myself from numerous ‘contracts’ through life.

  50. As soon as blame takes the stage it is pretty safe to say that we have chosen protection over remaining open, loving and taking responsibility for ourselves. This blog is a gem for anyone who is in or has been in relationships, which is everyone!

  51. One of the most revealing statements here is that when the roles were taken up, the conditioned responses and interaction that come from preconceived paradigms of one feels one should be rather then the way one is, then every thing went pear-shaped.

  52. Amazing honesty here Sharon. The willingness to be so honest with ourselves brings with it a level of responsibility that cannot be ignored. Blaming another for how we feel is a great example of irresponsible we often choose to be.

  53. Serge Benhayon has been accused publicly in the media of breaking up relationships and marriages, but your experience Sharon clearly refutes this. I wonder how many other relationships have become healthier and more loving from their association with Universal Medicine and why this has never reported on in the media to give a more thorough, balanced and unbiased account instead of just focusing on the version of a disgruntled few.

  54. Sharon, I’m so so grateful for your honesty and expression, your blog has exposed something in me that needs to move. Thank you.

  55. It’s a great sharing, it’s so common how people walk away from a relationship because they are not willing to go deeper with their connection and avoid reading what is going on. Often it comes down to the deep hurts and lack of responsibility that get us to these points. When we connect and allow the love for ourself to be felt, we are then able to deal with our hurts and see beyond.

  56. Life is certainly about love and as I read your blog Sharon I cannot but wonder how many households in the world are conforming to the same idealistic roles and have got stuck in the same repeating loveless cycles you speak of when the truth is every relationship has so much more potential that could be easily lived if we only just open our eyes to this fact.

  57. The fact that we are the ones responsible for “letting love in” as it is presented here is the truth of self responsibility. What you share Sharon is ground breaking when we consider the constant breakdown of relationships in society and has the power to really change individual lives and family life for many.

  58. I love how open and honest you are being in this blog. It indeed did take a major shift in perspective and you were open to that, which was needed. I can’t wait to integrate some of the wisdom in this blog. thank you for shairng.

  59. This is an epically honest testimony, I cannot explain how much I relate to what you have been through, reading this reminds me that we are all the same, we think we are off in our own little house, our own little nightmare that is personal to us but in reality we are all going through similar things, thank you for reminding me that we all have a choice, to blame or not to blame that is the question?

  60. The raw honesty of this blog invites us all to reflect on our openness to love if our relationships are not working as we had hoped. I can certainly relate to expecting love to come to me when I was not willing to love myself and feel the hurts I carried.

  61. What you share Sharon touched me deeply, for how many of us struggle with ‘loved ones’ and the seemingly endless issues that seem to get in the way. When we start to go sour and introduce blame what an opposite and different view it is to consider it may actually all be because we are fighting and resisting Love? What an irony that after all the struggle we see the root cause of so many problems we face is that we run away from us and life being great?

  62. I love the commitment you gave to your relationship and to seeing how each day was an opportunity to not close down in the face of any hurts but to be open to love no matter what. A deeply inspirational story of what is possible when you take responsibility and address what is there – a lesson for us all.

  63. Its interesting and sad how we can loose sight of ourselves and the people we love and just function and become roles ‘I never truly felt supported and deeply resented that I was left to carry out most of the parenting and domestic organisation. From my husband’s perspective, he felt I should be grateful that he earned a reasonable living and did some jobs around the house.’ What made a harmonious relationship become this? Was it truly harmonious? It is great to hear that you finally addressed this and stopped blaming your husband … blaming others never works! Also another gorgeous testimony to Serge Benhayon in how he is there for others and in just a few sentences shared can help another see the truth about a situation ‘I can honestly say that without speaking to Serge, my husband and I would have separated, as I did not want to take responsibility for my own choice to not be open to love.’

  64. What an amazing gift it is to understand responsibility for ourselves in relationships. Whenever I reflect upon what I have learned from Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine this is top of my list. My life changed when I understood that it is my responsibility to be the love I had been looking for in life, rather than seeking it in someone else. It is all very simple but deeply profound. Living the responsibility to be love rather than an ‘endless’ search of love in others, transforms our relationships from neediness to fullness of being and this simple shift is remarkable. There is no-one to blame – and in fact no need or desire to blame – but a willingness to accept ever deeper responsibility for being and living the love that is innate within us all. What a great way to live.

  65. “What was preventing me connecting to the truth that I truly loved my husband, was the hurt and resentment of the expectations and roles round-about we had bought into and lived” I believe you speak for most couples when you say this, we all have so much potential in relationships but many are not prepared to give up the hurt and instead they hold onto the resentment never truly letting love in. I love you did and therefore an inspiration for us all.

  66. What an awesome account of a responsible way to go about your relationship. Being so willing to see where you could improve and the judgments you had etc is inspiring. The difference it makes when we let go of being stubborn and pulling our heels out of the concrete is huge.

  67. I love the fact that although everything was in place for you and your husband to separate you did not just go with the fact that everything was in place but instead acted on what the new impulse was. So many people would just have gone ahead because it had been arranged. This is to me is responsibility, which is to keep responding to what is before us.

  68. I really enjoyed reading this Sharon and found it really awesome the process you have been through, where you developed so much introspection to see your own role in your marriage. I guess we all have parts of us that we bring to relationships that can cause reactions, where we could be more loving and understanding of another. Everything starts with us, and after all we can’t and should never attempt to control another, but what we can do is consider our own role in what plays out and if we are carrying any judgement or picture of how another should be.

  69. I can really relate to this as when I come across relationship issues now in every single situation bar none I have found that I have played a part in the situation, that it’s not solely mine or the others fault but if I take responsibility for my part then often the relationship opens up, and if it doesn’t then I know I still have a choice to carry on opening up to the love that I am or meeting the other at their measured level. Without perfection I am feeling how the measuring feels stifling and restrictive and opening up regardless feels more freeing for everyone.

  70. Thank you Sharon, so many gems in this… topped off by the reminder that ‘Life is about love’. And that is the responsibility of each person to restore and live their own love, not demand it from another before we are willing to go there ourselves. You’ve offered a great example of exactly that.

  71. What a gorgeous story of developing true responsibility and commitment; thank you Sharon for sharing your experiences and your wisdom; very inspirational

  72. Whilst it may not be easy, it is beautiful to feel that when both partners in a relationship commit to each other. With the first and foremost responsibility being the commitment to the relationship that each has with themselves. Knowing it is this very needed foundation that will support them.

  73. Beautiful Sharon. Blame in relationships is very common and can be an easy place to stay in the mud. Taking responsibility and looking at how we are is much more challenging – and offers much more healing.

  74. Great save, especially with seven children in tow. Imagine that we are the role models for our children. Actually I take that back, a little dramatic I guess considering I could just delete the lines I’m typing but here it goes. Don’t “imagine” we are the role models for our children and others around us. Forget the rock stars, movie stars and sports stars, they all have a place but when it comes to every day it’s who you see the most of that you role model on, so how do you allow yourself to be seen? What this article presents is very personal to us and not allowing us to push something onto someone else. As was the case with the woman writing this article she was pushing to get something from her husband and willing to put their entire relationship on hold or actually out the door to get it. Enter responsibility, true responsibility in the form of Serge Benhayon and the way he lives allows her to see almost instantly what she has been doing. He didn’t tell her but more supported her to move the push out of the way which allowed her to own what she was already seeing but couldn’t grab clearly. We push things onto others that are in fact a thing we do as an escape from the true responsibility we feel we are needing to bring to how we are. The relationship is always very personal, if we are blaming or expecting something to change so we feel better then it’s time to turn the blow torch on how we are. Nothing ever truly changes unless we make the change ourselves, otherwise all we are doing is making it better or bringing relief for a short time.

  75. What you have presented is what many women and men can relate to–living in a partnership where there is no true connection and where withdrawal and protection are normal. Whenever I feel I need more understanding from my partner I have stepped away from understanding and loving myself. The most loving and free feeling in a relationship comes from me taking my own responsibility and always being loving and holding of my partner. No partnership in love will ever feel like an obligation, as Love simply is to be enjoyed. And any partnership that is based on an obligation or transaction, will ultimately never feel enough.

  76. ‘In this simple interaction, I got to feel how I was the one not opening to being truly loved, and the true responsibility I held as a woman.’ Our true responsibility as women… I’m not entirely sure what you’re referring to here Sharon for yourself but I know from experience that my own deeper opening to love required me to drop any need to continue asserting my ‘hard won’ independence. Not to head down the other end of the spectrum to doormat status, but to accept the fact that I could be truly cherished, cared for and supported.

  77. Such a super supportive and powerful blog around relationships you have shared here Sharon. Too often we want to stay stuck in our hurts and keep blaming others as a way to protect ourselves – when we choose this we are really hurting ourselves further and taking steps further away from love. Your blog is a beautiful reminder to let go of old hurts and to keep choosing love and to feel the magic and joy this choice can bring.

  78. You know there have been many vicious and defaming lies with regards to Serge Benhayon particularly about how he is responsible for breaking up families. Your experience plus mine (i did not speak with my family for 2 years and it was down to just one conversation with Serge that supported me in getting back in touch with them again .. actually one sentence from Serge!) and many others show in fact the complete opposite. Also another person cannot be responsible for breaking up families as this comes down to each individual and whether we are willing to deal with our hurts, resentment, anger or frustration or not.

  79. A simple and beautiful example of how Serge Benhayon actually unites in truth, contrary to rumour and internet trolls, and how this beautiful article is an example of this for all of the world to read.

  80. This is beautiful Sharon and hugely inspiring. When we make life about love, our relationships will reflect this and life is then a joyous journey of forever deepening this.

  81. This is a beautiful love story, in the sense of opening up to the love that we feel deep inside and not to be distracted by the obstacles that we have created to cope with life.

  82. Blaming another and not dealing with your hurts creates more hurt. This in turn creates a World with withdrawn and disconnected people not knowing and covering up who they are. This becomes normal with choices being made from the protection and not from who you really are.

  83. A beautiful confirmation of how Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine can support married people with families to find a deeper level of love in their relationships.

  84. The roles we play in life don’t help us at all, but we seem to prefer the roles rather than walking as who we are. The irony is once we start walking as who we are we realise the roles could never give us what we were looking for.

  85. Each time I read this article, I am again reminded to let love in. This is something that I will never tire of reading, accepting forever deeper the love that is there for me each and every day.

  86. Very beautiful Sharon, it can be such a subtle thing when we hold another to ransom by blaming them for what is in fact a dynamic. The honesty it took you to accept this and open up again to the relationship is very inspiring. It is a life-skill you will benefit from for the rest of time… as it applies in every relationship, not just with our chosen partners.

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