When I was living in a very abusive relationship I let the fear of the unknown keep me captive in the relationship: I would rather have faced extreme abuse than take a step into the unknown, and end the relationship. Looking back several years later, this now seems crazy.
So, in this scenario I allowed fear to run a program of thoughts through my mind: it was this fear-based program that actually supported me in making the choice to live in a very unsafe manner by continuing on in the abusive relationship. From this experience and others, I have come to see that when we put a lot of time and energy into these thoughts, we can actually make it our physical reality by creating situations that support and prove the ideas/fears in our head to be physical facts. Now this is scary…
For years I lived in fear. The abusive relationship allowed me to foster and build on this fear in myself as a young adult, although looking back, I see fear was present many years before the abuse. There was a strong fear of not pleasing my parents and schoolteachers, there was a strong fear I was not the same as other kids/teens, there was a fear of God and my priest.
So what is this fear; why was I so attracted to it?
My feeling is that fear occurs because I have ideas of what is right and wrong in my head that I form from what others say and do. I then have even more ideas of the consequences that will occur if I cannot live up to these ideas. I feel I am attracted to these ideas so I do not have to feel what actually works for myself, and then to trust this. So, basically I feel fear is just a bunch of ideas that I have collected and given importance to, that keep me trapped into living life in a certain manner. An example is when another asks me to do something that does not feel right to me and I do it in the fear they will think less of me if I don’t: or I fear they will be angry with me because I am not in agreement with them. So I will choose to please another to win favour, rather than trust my own feelings. Another great example is how I chose to stay in a harmful relationship rather than take a step into the unknown, for fear I would not be able to survive.
It is awesome to realise this, because to break this vicious cycle all I have to do is to stop giving importance to these ideas, and the fear will have no platform. Over the years I have applied large doses of just this, and the difference within me now is huge. This fear no longer plays out in my daily life as I no longer choose to believe I am stupid or that I deserve to be harmed – because all I do when I give power to this fear, is harm myself and others. The big one for me is I no longer feel others have the right to own and control me. I used to accept others had this right; thinking they knew better than me, that I owed them because of past behaviours/occurrences, or because I had wronged them in the past.
Serge Benhayon commented a few years ago… “Toni, when I first met you, you were as timid as a little bird who was scared to look at anyone, now look at you”. So I am living proof that fear, no matter how life is playing out physically or emotionally, is in essence coming from ideas running around our head that we have the power to stop if we choose to, and seek the support when required. I found this support in Universal Medicine.
by TS
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
We must choose our way and what we truly want in life and then allow all of our life reflect that. For this is the most supportive for all.
“…fear, no matter how life is playing out physically or emotionally, is in essence coming from ideas running around our head that we have the power to stop if we choose to..” Absolutely. In which case it makes sense to focus on changing our thoughts, which comes from changing the way we move. How so? Well the way we move is a vibration or energy, so if I move unlovingly, harshly, without consideration, this is the quality of thoughts that will be ‘fueled’ by my movements. If however I choose to move lovingly, gently, tenderly, with consideration and in honour of myself, my thoughts will reflect these movements.
Gorgeously said Lucy. Our movements done without our inner quality then provide an opening for fear because of the running ourselves unnaturally so from the rules, ideals and beliefs the world today is so geared up to provide us with. Living and letting our heart lead the way of our movements, choices, relationships and life is a whole encompassing way that has no space for fear for it is love.
I love that you are no longer a captive of your fear and have been able to come out from hiding under the wing of another and learnt to spread your wings and fly. Sometimes it takes another to show us the power we have but in the end it is up to us to choose it.
We rightly call it ‘giving our power away’ when we allow another or something outside of us, like an ideal or belief to run our lives. And so it is up to us to claim our power back and claim back a quality of thoughts that support us instead of being kept captive in the fear. Serge Benhayon is a man that empowers people by bringing them into contact with their inner most and showing them the tools that support us in life to nurture and strengthen that place in us which holds all our power and glory.
‘I feel fear is just a bunch of ideas that I have collected and given importance to, that keep me trapped into living life in a certain manner.’ When we start looking inside ourselves instead of outside and feel our body and how in essence we have the power to let go of ideas and beliefs we have , fear loses its hold on us. Also I have felt how important it is to appreciate every step that we make in building a loving relationship with ourselves.
Beautiful that you have chosen to lose the fear and no longer fall for it , simply by you letting go of old behaviors and occurrences, and that you have found something that has supported you with this all the way – Universal Medicine.
Fascinating how we can have ideas in our head of how to be, fed by images from our childhood, our parents, the media or where ever… and that we let these over ride the feelings we have in our body. The body is us, our unique instrument that can gauge what is appropriate in any situation. Far better to be taught to play with that instrument than listen to the cacophony given off by everything else.
Fear can control us, or so it seems. But it’s grip is non-existent once we see it for what it is – nothing more than thoughts or an energy that we let in – and we are the gatekeepers.
Abuse is something we say yes to. It is our choice and we all have the choice to say no to abuse (or yes). I have allowed forms of abuse in the past and it was not until my love for myself grew that I was able to even see it was abuse. It can be a viscious cycle with a strong momentum, but we can step out of that momentum at any stage. Knowing we have that power is indeed empowering.
The harm we do to ourself by creating Ideals of how we should be is enormous, it is creating fear for that what we don’t know for sure, that what we can’t predict. But also are very able to create for ourselves to keep us in this vicious cycle of self abuse, creating situations that confirm our fears is the ultimate form of holding ourselves back. Keeping ourselves small in the ‘safe’ world we created for ourselves.. what an incredible ways we have to not be the amazing human beings we all are.
We harm ourselves by allowing our thoughts to control us. Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine invite us to feel and respond to what we feel and know is true from our body. There is nothing to fear in the truth of what we know, only in what our thoughts imagine.
Dragon, thank you for sharing this quote – Plato’s saying: what if we are afraid of our own light and not the darkness? As I am learning to accept and surrender to the power of my own light.
Great point Rachel, in walking away from any negative situation we must also be prepared to heal our hurts from what has happened, then we can walk away and be free.
A really powerful blog which exposes the simple truth about the composition of fear – ‘just a bunch of ideas that I have collected and given importance to, that keep me trapped into living life in a certain manner’ and then gives us the way out – ‘all I have to do is to stop giving importance to these ideas, and the fear will have no platform’. Our beliefs can be very insidious when we fail to recognise what’s actually at play, but this simple breakdown of what’s really going on shows where our choices haven’t fully supported us and gives us the chance to choose differently next time.
‘I feel fear is just a bunch of ideas that I have collected and given importance to, that keep me trapped into living life in a certain manner.’ Indeed Helen we can imprison ourselves through our own thoughts and beliefs.
I agree it is pretty scary that we can make the thoughts we conjure up in our heads our reality and rule our lifes. Universal Medicine provides several tools like the gentle breath meditation (free meditations at unimedliving.com), esoteric yoga, awareness of the influence of food, the time you go to sleep etc. that can help us move back from our heads into our bodies and come back to reality.
Tony, I celebrate with you not just the fact that you have much less fear today, more so I celebrate that you decided to say ‘no’ to the ideas of right and wrong. The day we start doing this can be celebrated as a birthday!
Fear is so confining, it is keeping us in the sphere of life we have created for ourself from all the ideas we created. It is very inspiring to read, and I am starting to feel that it is just about not giving these ideas any importance, as they are only creating a vicious cycle of fear.
I can really relate to this Alison – the constant search for confirmation and approval from outside rather than listening to my inner voice. I can feel how I have allowed fear to paralyse me and used it as an excuse for staying stuck. Releasing its chains has felt so empowering but it can still sneak back in and I can feel jealous of others who seem to just go for it and not worry about what others think.
Powerful take home message: our greatest ideals which can make us feel safe can also be our greatest prisons.
its similar to being safe from danger if you lock yourself in a prison cell, meaning no one can get in or out but… you are in a prison cell!
Powerful point Luke and a great visual as a prison cell may have no-one coming in or out but having worked in prisons I can say that they are cold, lonely and at times very frightening places.
Yet we willingly enslave ourselves to this prison. Craziness.
What an analogy Luke. We can also feel very safe inside a suit of armour…Henry the 8th style. We can clank around in life guarded by plates of metal…we can only see straight in front through a tiny slot, nothing to the side, above or below. We cannot hear properly through the echoing metal chamber we have sealed ourselves in. We cannot taste or smell, for nothing can touch our tongues or enter or nostrils when we are too afraid to lift the visor. And touch is an impossibility, except for the touch of the cold metal that keeps the world at bay.
Are we safe in our moveable prison? Maybe. But we can trip and fall, and there are always gaps in such armour that fail and allow weapons in.
But what if we are in the greatest danger of all…a living death if you will that arises when we stifle the expression of our love in this world?
“We are the creators of living death”, and you don’t write a bad analogy yourself Dr. Mascord. 😛
When you live from a foundation that is fear based it means all your priorities are calibrated to just surviving…. and there is so much more to life than just surviving each day.
Hit the nail on the head Rachel “how we just create issues by giving energy to them.” It is a s simple as that.
Great advice. I find this too. Our essence gives us the clarity of how to move forward and also allows us to feel the fullness of ourselves, giving us the knowing of just how unsupportive being in the fear can be.
Beautifully expressed Alexis. Thank you. I love the analogy.
Thank you for reminding us to not create in our head certain scenarios that are not true and not in the present. For me a loving discipline helps to stop that energy, when I go into worrying or planning to be safe. It is such a false security and life always teaches me, that it is actually not necessary at all. I am always equipment to handle every situation- fear is truly a selfmade illusion.
I lived in fear for a long time, it was a nagging anxiety that I could feel in my body and sometimes if it got too much for me it would result in panic attaks and wanting to hide from the world. Now I live with very little fear, if it happens to pop up within my mind and body, I now ask the question why, what is I am not wanting to see, what do I not want take responsibility for? In this way the feelings will melt away, often when I take responsibility for myself and claim the natural power and authority I have within.
I too have given power to ideals, beliefs and at times thought others were better and knew more- therefore did not back myself.
Now I appreciate me and express what I feel without the fear and apology. Thank you to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for supporting me to reconnect to the deep wisdom and truth that we all carry within.
I agree Sharon.
I used to feel a lot of fear, the fear would inhibit and paralyse me, I was living with anxiety every day. Today I do not, as I began to get control of the thoughts in my head, I have found that my anxiety lessened and I am able to see situations more fully and not just concentrate on what may go wrong or who is attacking me. Whatever happens now I am able to understand it more and have a sense of freedom and steadiness that supports me.
Very true Tony, we put great importance of fear being an uncontrollable force which we can’t control. Instead it is a pattern we have decided to play into. When people say fear is a prison, then aren’t we imprisoning ourselves?
The more self appreciation and acceptance of myself in the love that I am, the more I feel the self doubt and fear has no hold on me, it is magical and it requires commitment and a willingness to change.
Thank you for an honest sharing.
Your blog is a powerfull illustration of the actual harm fear causes and a good example of how to deal with it.
This is a strong statement from a woman who turned her life around from living in fear to “not to give power away and trust your own feelings”. A triumph!
What an honest sharing on the power of ideas and thoughts and how they can fortify in our bodies and lock us into situations, patterns and behaviours that keep us disconnected from others and ourselves. When you can start to deconstruct these by bringing real honesty and expression, the world seems like a new place and best of all, you feel like you are part of it.
I have re-read your article and it is revealing how I fall back into fear-full thoughts and make them real. Thank you.
A great blog thanks for sharing.
I had to re read this and come back to this sentence…”to break this vicious cycle all I have to do is to stop giving importance to these ideas, and the fear will have no platform.”
It is so important, even every thought we have is a moment for us to give credence to something outside of ourselves, how important then for us to listen to our bodies and live from within.
Often this program of thoughts I have had would like to make the subject here (in your blog) so complicated, yet this is so clear and straightforward. Complicating situations to make it appear that it is too big to untangle when the truth is we can put a stop to it and start to pull it apart by our choices. I have started to untangle this knotted program of fear and the more I do the more I feel empowered and inspired to keep working at it, as there is a feeling of freedom in not living in that tense, anxious and complicated way.
Thank you for expressing this, Leigh. I agree.
You have expressed this vast topic so clearly, and it is so easy to understand reading your words. It’s madness how we stay in these situations when we put ourselves in them. Looking from the outside you can never understand how or why people stay there, trapped in their prisons, but when you’re the one inside it seems very hard to break out. As you describe we create these places, from different issues we have ourselves. For you it was fear of the unknown or trying to please others, for others it will be something else, but as you say it’s just a bunch of ideas you’ve given power to, instead of giving the power to the awesome you that can completely deal with anything.