Who Can I Really Trust?

by Rod Harvey, Gold Coast, Australia

Recently I asked myself, “How many people do I know or have known who I could really trust” and the answer surprised me.

Because what was revealed was that the one person who has let me down the most throughout my life and been the most untrustworthy is… me!

On the scale of untrustworthiness, others pale into insignificance compared to my contribution.

How many times have I thought, “I won’t do that again” but I did – with alcohol, relationships, food choices, inconsistent behaviour, broken promises to myself and to others, procrastination, giving my power away to children, friends, relatives, partners, parents, bosses, distractions and my thoughts. Need I say more?

Man, I’ve been letting myself down for a long, long time.

Have you heard the expression, “you have to earn my trust”? I heard it, but never applied it to myself. To earn my unqualified trust meant that I had to walk the talk, make no excuses, not judge or place a skerrick of blame on another, be absolutely responsible for myself… and all of that was daunting.

But I’ve gradually learned, particularly through another’s example, that we can live responsibly and enjoy a full and loving life.

That ‘other’ is Serge Benhayon, a person I trust without reservation. I’ve known Serge for six years and throughout that time he has been consistent in his love for others and inspirational in what he presents and how he lives. Yet he does not shirk from speaking truth, irrespective of the consequences and he will not pander to others to please them.

I now realise it’s not about who I can or cannot trust, because what another person does is outside of my control. My priority is to be responsible for myself and meet my own expectations without getting caught up in, expecting, or wanting something from others.

After all, I spend more time with myself than anyone else, so if I get this relationship right, then all else will fall into place.

So can I learn to trust myself? Of course I can and I’m pleased that I’ve been making some progress. It means commitment, together with the discipline to change some ingrained habits. It means shedding blame or judgment of others, dedication to self-care, being responsible, walking my talk and being totally honest with myself.

Sure there are slip-ups (hey the Universe wasn’t built in a day) but provided I’m lovingly consistent I will eventually be able to embrace the answer to that question, ‘Who can I really trust?’

And the answer will be… Me!

125 thoughts on “Who Can I Really Trust?

  1. Being honest in the moment by honouring your feelings supports me to be who I am and not what’s going on around me. I find my own feelings more confronting than others when I originally thought it was others. I am learning this is perfectly normal and yes to trust myself.

  2. Really lovely to come back to this blog, Rod. Me too, I have been making some progress by making more self-loving choices and my trust for myself is recovering as I learn to let go of the need to be perfect as well as the need for others to meet my expectation to qualify as ‘trustworthy’ is decreasing. This is a beautiful process.

    1. So important to appreciate ourselves in the progress we have made Fumiyo. I too appreciate the consistency that so much more there about speaking truth and making self loving choices.

  3. A great question, and I am sure many can relate with what you share, ‘the one person who has let me down the most throughout my life and been the most untrustworthy is… me!’ I love how you turned this around.

  4. Our relationship with self is so important, ‘ My priority is to be responsible for myself and meet my own expectations without getting caught up in, expecting, or wanting something from others.’ Great to recognise your responsibility here Rod.

  5. That is surprising perspective, but so true. I would like people to trust me, but first I have to trust myself, that is the key. Working on trusting myself. Everything around me changes with relationship with me.

  6. I love the simplicity of the wisdom you offer Rod. What a great question to check in with myself each day. Am I living the trust that I’m totally worthy of and what level of trust do I reflect to others?

  7. Haha and I don’t think I’ve ever turned the trust meter back on myself in this way. Hilarious to think that our trust issues are closer to home then we think and in fact you’re sleeping and walking with them.

  8. ‘I spend more time with myself than anyone else, so if I get this relationship right, then all else will fall into place’ The answer to all our relationship problems….the old adage; before we can love another, we must first love ourselves is indeed true.

  9. When we trust ourselves, this is a lovely confirmation of going into each day knowing that whatever arises we will know what to do, what to say, and in that knowing life become super easy.

  10. It makes a lot of sense to start with ourselves in everything we do and demand, because the more we give ourselves what we expect from others the less we will actually expect from them and allow space for each other to be themselves.

  11. It all comes back to you – me, that is so true as if we want something so dearly it makes sense to live it ourselves first.. This blog reveals me the very thing that I have been avoiding in my life – building a relationship, a true and deep one, with myself.. Which my body is signaling – is dearly time for now.

  12. Thank you Rod, great to read this again. We may take many knocks in life but often the worst can come from ourselves, however it can be hard to see this as we don’t often realise how vital our relationship to self is, nor the support we can provide for ourselves. Taking responsibility for ourselves is a big part of this.

  13. Thorough developing a relationship with self-honesty, I have realised that the degree of trust I feel for myself or another is reflection of the degree of truth that is honoured and expressed. My lack of trust in myself stemmed from my wavering commitment to honouring the truth I feel, however the more I do honor what I feel the more I am supported and feel empowered to be guided by a quality that confirms who I really am.

  14. Great honesty Rod, yes it is true, the most untrustworthy person in our lives is if we are completely honest, ourselves, yet we treat the whole world as if it cannot be trusted with little to no justifiable reason. We build a fortress around ourselves in case we meet someone who cannot be trusted thus reducing all relationships to a pale shadow of what they might otherwise be.

  15. Thank you Rod, a great question to ponder on. Serge Benhayon is an amazing role model for us all to live in a way that we trust every move we make comes from love.

  16. Brings in a very good understanding of our unfoldment.. and that we are here to return to something grand we know – yet step by step are willingly so returning to, as you said: “the Universe was not built in a day!” So we must give ourselves appreciation for every step taken back..

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