by Rod Harvey, Gold Coast, Australia
Recently I asked myself, “How many people do I know or have known who I could really trust” and the answer surprised me.
Because what was revealed was that the one person who has let me down the most throughout my life and been the most untrustworthy is… me!
On the scale of untrustworthiness, others pale into insignificance compared to my contribution.
How many times have I thought, “I won’t do that again” but I did – with alcohol, relationships, food choices, inconsistent behaviour, broken promises to myself and to others, procrastination, giving my power away to children, friends, relatives, partners, parents, bosses, distractions and my thoughts. Need I say more?
Man, I’ve been letting myself down for a long, long time.
Have you heard the expression, “you have to earn my trust”? I heard it, but never applied it to myself. To earn my unqualified trust meant that I had to walk the talk, make no excuses, not judge or place a skerrick of blame on another, be absolutely responsible for myself… and all of that was daunting.
But I’ve gradually learned, particularly through another’s example, that we can live responsibly and enjoy a full and loving life.
That ‘other’ is Serge Benhayon, a person I trust without reservation. I’ve known Serge for six years and throughout that time he has been consistent in his love for others and inspirational in what he presents and how he lives. Yet he does not shirk from speaking truth, irrespective of the consequences and he will not pander to others to please them.
I now realise it’s not about who I can or cannot trust, because what another person does is outside of my control. My priority is to be responsible for myself and meet my own expectations without getting caught up in, expecting, or wanting something from others.
After all, I spend more time with myself than anyone else, so if I get this relationship right, then all else will fall into place.
So can I learn to trust myself? Of course I can and I’m pleased that I’ve been making some progress. It means commitment, together with the discipline to change some ingrained habits. It means shedding blame or judgment of others, dedication to self-care, being responsible, walking my talk and being totally honest with myself.
Sure there are slip-ups (hey the Universe wasn’t built in a day) but provided I’m lovingly consistent I will eventually be able to embrace the answer to that question, ‘Who can I really trust?’
And the answer will be… Me!
Consistency is what really earns trust, be this in a positive or negative way. If we are consistently on time, this allows another to trust that this will be the case most of the time. Likewise if we are consistently late, this allows another to trust that this will be the case most of the time. But in both bases, it is the repetition and constant reflection that builds the trust. But how is this then any different to expectation? Well expectation is a projection ahead and onto another as an imposition, where as trust is based on observation of the past with no imposed projection.
Trust is an interesting thing – I know that I can trust that someone will be there for me, and I know that I can trust that someone will ‘let me down’ – so in essence no one can break our trust, other than ourselves, because deep inside we know the truth and perhaps are only avoiding it as a convenience.
Rod, thank you for this awesome blog – I really appreciate your sense of humour and the truth you present in the fact that more often than not we can be our own worst enemy so to speak! This is a sobering fact to own up to – thank you for leading the way and reminding us of the responsibility that we hold each and every moment.
What a great question. How often do we override our own feelings and then align to another without discerning where the other person is coming from.
As a human kind we are desperate to fit in, to be ‘loved’, to be recognized in some way. And so in the process we are willing to let go of what we know to be true. Until such time that we learn to hold steady and instead offer the reflection of truth back to the other and hence offer a different choice.
I now know that trusting myself means trusting my body and how I feel. I cannot trust my mind as it constantly lies and when I follow it’s lead things go pear-shaped. I can, however, trust my body to always direct me in the most loving way possible.
Yes that is what I have found, there is a more honest relationship that comes from the body, than the head so it is worth building the relationship with the body and letting the head observe that for a while till it becomes more responsive to the messages!!
Learning to trust, in my experience, always starts with self first, ‘My priority is to be responsible for myself and meet my own expectations without getting caught up in, expecting, or wanting something from others.’
Thank you Rod and may I add That, Trust, Truth, waning appreciation and the diminishing recognition of divine connection are slowly eaten away by the way our love-less teachings and social systems are set up! Reconnecting to our essences as presented by Serge Benhayon start the process of turning all the above around along with so much more.
It is bottomlessly gorgeous when we realize, through our own Livingness and not by conviction, that we can be truly trusted, that there is a foundation based on love that asks for no perfection.
I’ve just started to explore the subject of trust and unpick layers of mistrust I have. For me it’s honouring what I feel even more and going with what a feel and not what I think.
Serge Benhayon is a man that I trust without reservation. In trusting him I have learnt to trust myself again to trust what I know to be true and not to doubt myself because another questions my ability to know what is true and what isn’t. Serge Benhayon is such an inspiration in that he keeps stepping forward he does not shrink from speaking truth that we all need to hear irrespective if we want to hear it or not. Serge Benhayon will be known in time as the world’s greatest teacher and as history has shown we do not appreciate these teachers until they are no longer with us. I say this because I know Serge Benhayon but I cannot fully appreciate everything he brings to the world and continues to do so against such a force of opposition.
I understand what you mean Elizabeth. When we say we will do something and don’t carry it through, then it gives the message that we are untrustworthy. So, it is very important to build our livingness to a level where trust, honesty and love are the main foundations.
Great point Linda, this is what I am learning to do trust my feelings more and more, also learning to listen with care. I have got myself into all sorts of complicated situations from not trusting my feelings and each time is a great reminder to trust myself.
Rod, you really got me pondering on trust, do I trust myself and how often have I let myself down? For example, how often do I say I will do something for myself but never carry them through to the end? So, I agree, if I get my relationship with myself right then all my other relationships would simply fall into place, this makes so much sense.
This blog is so true, uncomfortably so … it’s so easy to blame others and not trust them, but when it comes to keeping our word with ourselves we often are inconsistent and really that’s with us, so to be consistent, to be honest when we’re not and to walk our talk, that’s a great foundation for trust all round.
Yes, it is clear to see how much easier it is to blame another than to consider if we are consistent in our own expression first. Once again, berating ourselves for a lack of consistency is not the answer either, simply build the relationship with the body and let that inform our next steps.
‘I spend more time with myself than anyone else, so if I get this relationship right, then all else will fall into place’. Wise words Rod, the only relationship that we can truly heal and take full responsibility for is the one with self.
Absolutely, bringing responsibility to self naturally changes our environment.
I love the turn around Rob, in that you ask yourself the question, Who can I really trust, to then discover that the one and only person who had not been trustworthy was yourself. A lovely honest sharing, and I love that when we take responsibility, everything changes and we are able to see the bigger picture.
What questions do we ask and what do we answer is something that cannot be taken lightly. The reality is that we are not human beings, and that we are subjected to immense forces that play with us. So, if we ask a question and provide an answer that is oblivious of both facts may not serve us much. Who is the us hat we do not trust? Are human beings totally in command? Can we trust our Spirit? Will it not play its game? Etc.
Funny we often don’t consider self trust but it is key for this is the bar we set which determines all our other relationships. Learning to trust ourselves and living in a way which honours our bodies changes it all, and is a journey worth taking.
Bringing it back to self again, loving, caring, nurturing, accepting, and trusting self are some key steps in returning to our grandness.
I also discovered that a lot has to do with knowing who I am and where I come from. I am part of the universe, I know the eternal love of God and know I too am that.
I have also been realising recently that the key to letting go of the layers of protection and mistrust I have of other people is to develop a deeper connection with my own qualities and worth.
Well said Andrew – and I love how that allows trust in ourselves to unfold and hence its ripple effect with trusting others and the world around us. It is not that others need to change, but as we connect deeply to ourselves we can shift our perception of what trust is and how to work with it and how to be with ourselves and others and this can make a world of a difference.
When I live in the full commitment to myself I am at one with myself. I take responsibility for myself and make my livingness equal and together with the all. I do not impose as it is impossible. What another does in reaction to life I accept with love, I let go of neediness and any expectations I may have of others and most of all I feel who I am and the power of love inside and around me.
Within us all lives a liar and the voice of truth. Our task is to give voice to what is true and turn the volume right down on what is not.
Not trusting oneself is a consequence of not loving oneself. It is also looking at yourself as a stranger, as if it were not you. Distanced.
Excellent point Rod. I had not looked at it this way before, but I see the more consistent we are in the way we live the more confident we will be in ourselves and hence trust builds.
Thank you Rod, it’s always great to read this because it offers such a different perspective on trust. I agree that it’s building a loving consistency with ourselves and that may at times involve accountability for when it’s time to truly step up.
I have never really clicked how many times I have let myself down with choices I have made because the deceptiveness of our mind can always seem to find a way to lay the blame elsewhere.
Thank you Suse for your honest comment, I can relate!
I love the way you joyfully express Rod. Thank you for reminding me to keep building a relationship with myself that I can truly trust.
Fabulous point you make here Rod. I must say be able to trust yourself is a great point well worth examining as it is something that I know I really need to consider as it is about have strong foundations which come from steadiness in one’s own livingness.
A great question Rod ‘Who can i really trust?’ and amazing to find that it’s yourself first and foremost. Why look to others, when we can begin with ourselves.
The beauty in what you are sharing is that we can bring all our issues back to our self, that we can work on them and make the changes we want, hence that we do not have to wait for any one to change. We can bring the change to the world that we are waiting for and live it.
I love this Esther and what clarity you bring ‘we do not have to wait for any one to change. We can bring the change to the world that we are waiting for and live it’.
Great question Rod, and I loved how you deduced that the person who let you down the most was yourself, I too have a smilier experience, because when we get let down it is often because we haven’t stood up for the truth.
Amazing revelations here in this blog- to think that we spend so much time being guarded with others because we think we can’t trust them and yet underneath it all is a lack of love in ourselves. Learning to love me consistently and unconditionally has gone a long way so far to building that foundation in myself again which I have noticed means I am more open with others.
We can so easily blame others and in fact even ourselves but that does nothing and in fact if we simply come back to us, and get honest about how we’ve been with ourselves we build a foundation of trust in ourselves – we back ourselves.
It was incredible meeting Serge Benhayon because he was a human being I could trust such was his consistency, holding and understanding.
Honesty builds trust and it is so important to be honest with ourselves.
I have blind trusted in a lot of occasions in my life, as a reaction to “test out” humanity if it is trustworthy or not, as I know in my heart that trust is natural. In this behaviour, I have intentionally allowed myself to be in harm when I can discern due to my stubbornness and stupidity. What is there to appreciate is the knowing of truth in our hearts, but that cannot be found in our outside world before living it consistently with ourselves. So to see if this world is trustworthy or not, the simplicity of it is to first trust in all that I feel from my body and to act upon it.
Brings in a very good understanding of our unfoldment.. and that we are here to return to something grand we know – yet step by step are willingly so returning to, as you said: “the Universe was not built in a day!” So we must give ourselves appreciation for every step taken back..
Thank you Rod, a great question to ponder on. Serge Benhayon is an amazing role model for us all to live in a way that we trust every move we make comes from love.
Thorough developing a relationship with self-honesty, I have realised that the degree of trust I feel for myself or another is reflection of the degree of truth that is honoured and expressed. My lack of trust in myself stemmed from my wavering commitment to honouring the truth I feel, however the more I do honor what I feel the more I am supported and feel empowered to be guided by a quality that confirms who I really am.
Thank you Rod, great to read this again. We may take many knocks in life but often the worst can come from ourselves, however it can be hard to see this as we don’t often realise how vital our relationship to self is, nor the support we can provide for ourselves. Taking responsibility for ourselves is a big part of this.
It all comes back to you – me, that is so true as if we want something so dearly it makes sense to live it ourselves first.. This blog reveals me the very thing that I have been avoiding in my life – building a relationship, a true and deep one, with myself.. Which my body is signaling – is dearly time for now.
It makes a lot of sense to start with ourselves in everything we do and demand, because the more we give ourselves what we expect from others the less we will actually expect from them and allow space for each other to be themselves.
When we trust ourselves, this is a lovely confirmation of going into each day knowing that whatever arises we will know what to do, what to say, and in that knowing life become super easy.
‘I spend more time with myself than anyone else, so if I get this relationship right, then all else will fall into place’ The answer to all our relationship problems….the old adage; before we can love another, we must first love ourselves is indeed true.
Haha and I don’t think I’ve ever turned the trust meter back on myself in this way. Hilarious to think that our trust issues are closer to home then we think and in fact you’re sleeping and walking with them.
I love the simplicity of the wisdom you offer Rod. What a great question to check in with myself each day. Am I living the trust that I’m totally worthy of and what level of trust do I reflect to others?
Our relationship with self is so important, ‘ My priority is to be responsible for myself and meet my own expectations without getting caught up in, expecting, or wanting something from others.’ Great to recognise your responsibility here Rod.
A great question, and I am sure many can relate with what you share, ‘the one person who has let me down the most throughout my life and been the most untrustworthy is… me!’ I love how you turned this around.
Really lovely to come back to this blog, Rod. Me too, I have been making some progress by making more self-loving choices and my trust for myself is recovering as I learn to let go of the need to be perfect as well as the need for others to meet my expectation to qualify as ‘trustworthy’ is decreasing. This is a beautiful process.
Being honest in the moment by honouring your feelings supports me to be who I am and not what’s going on around me. I find my own feelings more confronting than others when I originally thought it was others. I am learning this is perfectly normal and yes to trust myself.
Beautifully said Rod. I have made many errors throughout my life and at times I feel fearful that I have ‘got it wrong’ again. That is until I connect to myself and where my thoughts are coming from. It has been really helpful to question the origin of my thoughts when I spiral into doubts and if I can’t say those thoughts are from my soul I know I need to think again.
You highlight some beautiful points around trust Rod and how building trust with ourselves first is key to learning to trust and be open in all our relationships.
We can learn to trust ourselves and we have to start slow and work at it, bring love, self care and take one step at a time. Through these choices and rhythm we create a true foundation of trust.
We can essentially become our own rock, the person we rely on the most – ourselves. It brings responsibility back to where it needs to be, as it’s truly only we ourselves we can change or be consistently supported and loved by. Thank you Rod-rock 🙂
I like how this blog brings the element of trust back to ourselves. It really is very disempowering when we consider how much time we have given to distrusting others, when all it has been is an inbuilt distrust of self that triggers distrust in others. It really is the most beautiful feeling to again feel trust in yourself as doing so opens trust of others.
So true Rod. Having started walking this path myself, it is clear that everything rests on the relationship with myself first. Get that right and we are on solid ground going forth.
I love the questions of how much deep consistent and true trust am I allowing, and unfolding with-in myself? Is this innate trust expanding with-in myself in a way that no matter what is going on I am willing and able to stay connected to all that I feel and trust my self fully to read situations and not try and shut-off because I don’t like what I’m feeling?
Trusting myself is taking time to build, but when I am consistent I find my trust deepens exponentially. The most important word I have found for myself in building that trust is ‘no’. Learning to say know consistently to my old abusive patterns and inconsistencies, and consistently saying ‘yes’ to loving choices, are the greatest bricks and mortar in building solid foundations for trust.
Very powerful Rod, “the one person who has let me down the most throughout my life and been the most untrustworthy is… me!” because we are usually wanting to blame someone else a lot of the time, most of the time. So really it takes a lot of honesty to come to the realisation it is bringing that honesty to ourselves is key.
It is gorgeous that through observing another be consistent in speaking truth and expressing lovingly you have learnt through example, the power of choosing this for yourself and of taking control and responsibility for the ‘you’ you live with and share with the world. There is no doubt that consistency in love rebuilds any lost trust and transforms any life which embraces this way.
Great blog Rod. It’s interesting to consider that I second guess myself more than I would another as well and all that is is about getting things right rather than trusting myself completely. It’s not about being perfect or right but about knowing that we are there for ourselves. We have our own back.
So true Rod, to take the responsibility to be a trustworthy person to ourselves and others takes commitment and dedication and we need to be ready to face a few stumbling blocks. To get started it is a great support and inspiration to have a role model like Serge Benhayon showing what is possible.
Just loved finding this blog today Rod, as I am another who is learning to trust myself again. After making many decisions that at the time felt the right thing to do, and then have it blow up in my face, so to speak, I had become rather tremulous each time another decision loomed. I have learned how I have held on to so much doubt about my ability to make the “right” decision, and in the process learning that there is actually no right and no wrong, but that to stop and feel the truth of the situation is a much truer marker, and from there I am re-learning, very slowly but very surely, how to trust me again.
One of the things I have said most in my life is – how disappointed I am – and mostly about what others have done. Reading your profound blog, I see I have been disappointed in the choices I have made that hurt, harm and exhaust me… and how I have repeated these over and over again. And of course I am the one and only one that can turn that around, which dissolves all blame and judgement.
I just love your blog Rod so simple and inspiring, it is interesting when thinking of trust we think of it in relationship with others first, when as you expressed it is us we live with 24/7 when we develop trust with ourselves we then do away with the neediness and can trust others.
I had to re-read your awesome blog Rod as for me it is very inspirational – you wrote: “I spend more time with myself than anyone else, so if I get this relationship right, then all else will fall into place.” That is so true and also so simple and I am wondering why this simple equation is not something more parents are living as they are the first and best role models for our kids. Imagine how the world would look like if they would do so.
“My priority is to be responsible for myself and meet my own expectations without getting caught up in, expecting, or wanting something from others.” More is not need to be said Rod as this sentence said it all . . . it is our responsibility that is the answer to all our woes.
Simply brilliant Rod – thank you. I can totally relate to everything you share about discovering that the first and foremost person you had trust issues with was yourself. A very powerful and truthful reflection.
Thank you Rod, this question came up this week and it stumped a couple of people, how do we learn to trust ourselves when we are so focused on not trusting others? I think your points here are a great road map “It means commitment, together with the discipline to change some ingrained habits. It means shedding blame or judgment of others, dedication to self-care, being responsible, walking my talk and being totally honest with myself.”
Just beautiful. I loved reading this again. It is so true that we talk about trusting others but what about the relationship with ourselves and making that a load more honest and dedicating ourselves to continually working on it so that the love and confidence we have for ourselves just keeps on growing.
Rod, this is a new way for me to look at trust. It makes perfect sense though as aren’t we either our own best friend or greatest enemy? It’s quite a concept being our own “greatest enemy” yet we have the capacity to self destroy. I’ve heard people say “I don’t trust myself with that food/person/drink” etc so we do know that trust in ourselves may not be a steady or strong thing, we just aren’t sure about whether we will make a loving or self supportive choice or not. We know we have two options, one that supports and one that does not, and we either build trust in ourselves to take care of us, or we lose trust in our capacity to lovingly care for ourselves. This has really highlighted the importance of the choices I make, and how my choices affect my relationship with myself.
Trusting yourself can feel like a tall order, especially when it’s been a long time of not giving yourself an inch. I’m learning to trust myself again and it’s definitely a work in progress, but certainly worth the effort. With trust comes sensitivity to feeling and reading situations, giving us more power to discern where our responsibility lies with ourselves first.
I really felt the truth of your words Rod. Learning to trust ourselves to be truthful and honest with ourselves with the support of our own body that never lies is to learn to live who we truly are. Serge Benhayon offers inspiration to all to trust the love that we all are, that we come from and are returning to.
Trusting ourselves is key. If we don’t, can we really trust another? As you say, we spend more time with ourselves than anyone else – so getting that relationship true is so important. Yet, were any of us ever taught this when young? Beautiful blog Rod.
“After all, I spend more time with myself than anyone else, so if I get this relationship right, then all else will fall into place.” I love it. And it is a relationship we can always work with/on in every moment of the day!
Thank you Rod. I love how you bring it all back to yourself. What power and grace responsibility allows us to have.
This exposes the enormous arrogance we generally run with that makes us think that we can offer trust and consistency for another person when we don’t live that with ourselves. How can we live something with everyone that we are not living with ourselves in the first place?
Thank you Rod for a simply beautiful blog. I found for the most part of my life there was no one I could trust or even wanted to, I had so isolated myself from others, and I lived with the false notion that it was only God I could trust. This of course was outside of me. Through Serge”s example and teachings I am learning to connect to that deeper part of myself, the part that is deeply loving, the part of me that is love and love only. This is a part of me I now know I can trust.
This is a fantastic blog to come back to. What I am learning recently is that to trust someone is not about testing them if they would live up to my expectation and meet my needs and if they do I give myself over to them – no. That’s what I used to do, and made my world very small and constricted, and I was constantly feeling let down by people and the world. And the same was being casted onto myself – one mistake, all gone – self-critique, self-doubt, self-loathing all would come in a big bundle, and it would be such a hard work to ‘earn’ back my own trust. Trusting myself begins with accepting my true essence, knowing it is there, no matter how many wrong choices I have made and will make.
I love your spin on the old saying “who can you trust?”
There are many answers which include:
“Only myself (if I have an issue with people)”
“No one (deep mistrust of people)”
And your comment Rod “not trusting myself”
All in all, no matter if you only trust yourself, trust no one or only don’t trust yourself. The perspective of trusting always stems from the perspective and eyes of the individual and how they perceive life.
How is it a fair assumption to trust no one, when only a very few have shown behaviour that aren’t worth trusting?
A real show stopper, Rod. Nowhere to hide on this one. It’s a true revelation – and uncomfortably squirm-inducing – that I carry the prize for best-in-class in letting me down over the years. One definitely to lick my wounds over…
I may not always trust myself, but I can always trust my body. My body never lies and this is possibly the greatest gift of God.
I had a big stop moment as I was reading this blog because initially my mind went outside of myself when asking who I could trust. I didn’t even put myself into the equation. What a great question to ask myself. I realised that there has been pockets of me that still want to get away with certain things, yet to be fully trustworthy I have to have an absolute dedication to responsibility and truth. Thanks Rod, it’s excellent to have this brought to my attention.
‘ It means shedding blame or judgment of others, dedication to self-care, being responsible, walking my talk and being totally honest with myself.’ – A great reminder Rod and very inspiring, thank you for sharing.
I can feel how trust in others starts with trust in myself, and that brings with it responsibility for all that I do and being totally honest with myself. Building that takes some time, but feeling that I am already everything and that all those things are only things I chose to not be fully responsible is a very good start, and is something to build on.
If we cant trust our self and don’t even like the person that is residing in our body, loving yourself is nowhere to be found in the rabbit hole we have fallen into. Serge Benhayon has been the voice that has allowed others and myself discover that our rabbit hole exists only in our head. As we strip away all that is not truth we are discovering who we really are and as you have said Rod, some of us have been in that hole for a long time so it may take time to fully learn to trust ourselves again… with self love everything is possible.
Rod, this is such a huge blog for me to read today. The idea of who can we trust and then can we trust us, do we keep our commitment to ourselves – I know I have not, I let things slide and get annoyed when others don’t keep up but I’ve been the one moving the goal posts. So now I’m feeling how much more honest I can be with myself and how I can look at how much I walk my own talk – thanks for the reminder, it’s a very loving rocket, asking me to be more lovingly consistent with myself.
I love this Rod – it’s so true! There’s no one that let’s us down more than we do ourselves. This is a work in progress for me to coming back to being able to trust myself in full.
Thank you Rod and Amina, I agree. There is so much in this blog that makes it alive as part of my livingness as I move ‘me’ to be ‘ME’.
Wow Rod thank you for exposing how my lack of trust issues go back to the many ways that I have let myself down over many years and that by building my consistency in how I look after myself and am in the world I am gradually building trust in myself and with that I can go about my daily business with a much greater level of trust in myself and my discernment of situations and trusting my response to them.
Yes, self-responsibility is the key and the perfect way to build a sense of trust within ourselves. When we trust ourselves we can begin to trust life and from that we evolve.
Trust is something that is built. How beautiful to wake knowing we have the ability and tools to build on it every day. By laying our own foundation and adding structure and framework (and not shirking on the job) we soon find we’ve created something very solid and reliable that’s already being extended to others.
Beautiful Barbara. Building trust as our foundation through our commitment to ourselves and extending it to others…
If you can’t trust yourself, then who can you trust… Love it Rod!
Thank you very much, Rod. Wow. I had never directed that question – “Can I really trust myself?” to myself and took it to the depth you have shared here. Sure, I am not perfect and I will not be perfect, building it, deepening it – that I try, and it is a very nurturing and responsible thing to do.
I will never be perfect either but by directing the question, “Can I really trust myself?” as posed in Rod’s blog, as you did, I can build on it and deepen my trust which would be a responsible and very nurturing thing to do.
Who can I trust? Great question Rod. Only a few years ago I would have replied, no-one. However, in these last few years, I have cleared and healed many of my old hurts, thanks to the fantastic support of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon; that today, I can say without hesitation, I can now trust myself….and that where-ever I find myself, or whoever I am with or meet, I am trust myself to just be me.
So true, Rod. As far as love, trust and joy go, we can’t project our needs onto others, it all starts with us.
Thank you Rod for a great blog, it gives me a lot to ponder on in relationship to trusting myself. Early in life I felt people could not be trusted , they would let me down. So the one person I felt I could trust was God, but of course this was a God that was out side of myself. I now know, that when I am with myself I feel I can trust the lovelyness of who I am, so as I bring more responsibility and committment into my life, in nurturing this love within, my trust will continue to grow.
Who can I trust evokes much reflection. To ask can I trust another suggests that I have a picture of the way they should be and in asking that of them, I may be asking them to not be who they truly are. When I ask the question of myself, I too realise, I have not followed through in being my own best friend, I have not supported myself by speaking and living what truly is loving of who I am. Being and taking responsibility for how I live, how I am in relationship with others. Listening when my body speaks to me and always being consistent in this is what I feel is the building blocks of ‘Trust”. Thanks Rod, for this exposing blog. If I take responsibility for living a life that is loving and supportive of who I am then I will come to trust me and in that consistency all else will follow
Thank you Rod for the playful insight to whom I should be developing trust with, and I would have to agree with you, that it is me that I battle most with.
WOW Rod what an absolutely awesome blog – I love it. Your joy and simplicity is so inspiring. Yes I agree to trust myself is really a thing for me as well but as you wrote “hey the Universe wasn’t built in a day” that means I enjoy everyday to trust myself even more…
Great point Rod.. sometimes I can complain about other people that I can’t trust but reading this I have realised how much I don’t trust myself which actually has a flow on effect to not trusting other people.
This is a brilliant article Rod – thank you. I love how you have exposed how we have hurt ourselves over and over again. And that we can place such high expectations on others to earn our trust, when then the trust we are really looking for is to develop the trust within ourselves. – Awesome, inspiring, love it.
Wow this has been very exposing when I consider how untrustworthy I have been to myself. You take self responsibility to a new level and reveal how important it is to get right.
” I spend more time with myself than anyone else, so if I get this right, then all else will fall into place.” Thanks Rod.
Thanks Rod for such a great sharing, you make a valid point that the trust needs to start with self first. A favourite line of mine is – “My priority is to be responsible for myself and meet my own expectations without getting caught up in, expecting, or wanting something from others.” – What a lovely reminder.
Your honesty is deeply exposing of how we all repeatedly let ourselves down and have been inconsistent to the point of being untrustworthy and yet expect that of others. I love that you have chosen to now be lovingly consistent in being responsible for yourself in the ways you have mentioned and in doing so are building a trust within, and for yourself first. Totally awesome.
Wow! Rod how you used to beat your self up. It’s great to see how much progress you have made. Well done and thanks for the blog.
So beautifully said Rod – I have always sensed that my issues with trust actually stemmed back to the fact I did not trust myself. I have never really taken stock of just how untrustworthy I had been with myself until I read this blog. I can feel that I have become more consistent in my choices but still find myself acting contrary to what I know is true. Serge Benhayon has helped me to understand the energy at play behind my actions and I have begun to build a more loving and honest relationship with myself as a result.
In my life I was hurt badly several times.At the end of the end, I was there for me and I was the one that brought me back into walking. This appraisal of trust is only partially true though. The other part is that I have allowed situations to end up badly by choice. So, on the one hand I trust myself and, on the other, I do not. In my case, this had repercussions regarding my trust for others. That was not an easy one for me. I came to realise that the key was learning to trust what I feel is truth in my being. This has helped me to navigate waters that at times were pretty rough.
Thanks for this blog Rod. I relate so much to what you have written. Often I find myself mistrustful of others (so I think), but really, it is me mistrusting me. The years of overriding what I’ve felt and giving my power away have led me to mistrust myself in many areas of my life. Consistency and commitment to honouring what I feel really does feel like the key to building that trust back.
Awesome Rod I love how you have turned this question on it’s head and made it about our relationship with self. As you say we can’t control anyone else but we do have some influence when it comes to making decisions for ourselves. Can we trust ourselves – of course we can, but it does take time, patience, responsibility and a whole lot of love!
Very inspiring. Rod, and so recognizable. It is sometimes a big hurdle to be truly honest to myself, but as you say, we are most of the times with ourselves, so it’s so important to make this relationship the best one we have.
So true, the irony of us letting ourselves down more than others have. I had to smile when I read your blog, Rod.
I love this Rod. It was shared with me recently by someone I trust totally, that trust is about consistency. If I am consistent with myself and in my daily life (with no perfection) then I will develop an unwavering trust of myself and from that of all of life and others. As I understood it, it is not about others needing to earn my trust but their consistency that says I know this is what is true and that this is what we trust.
I SO love this blog. So honest. I’m guilty too, of letting myself down through wrong choices. I take one step at a time back to living who I truly am and connecting to the love within me. Very inspirational, Rod, – thank you.
Thank you Rod, I can relate to what you are sharing here, with trial and error I will get this relationship with myself true.
I love a succinct blog, complete, and simply said – and this is one. Thank you, Rod, for bringing it back to square one, to número uno, to the only one that can create true trust within me….myself. Like you, I have unreserved trust in Serge Benhayon and he inspires me to know it is possible to walk the talk and that learning to trust myself again is golden.
Serge Benhayon and the Esoteric Practitioners have presented to me that to trust other people, I need to trust myself. Curtis Benhayon suggested to me that to build trust in myself, treat myself like I was my best friend. I have gone back to this suggestion many times to bring a deeper quality of self-care to myself. Thank you.
“Have you heard the expression, “you have to earn my trust”? I heard it, but never applied it to myself.” Wow, I had never thought about this before. This is so spot on Rod. I can relate to everything you have written. Like you, I have been blessed with the living example of Serge Benhayon to reflect to me that if, “I spend more time with myself than anyone else, so if I get this relationship right, then all else will fall into place.”
I love how you describe taking responsibility for yourself whilst also enjoying life, thanks Rod.
Thank you Rod, for the simplicity and honesty of your sharing and SO true 🙂
Wow, Thank you Rod for sharing this. I never really looked at the subject of trust in this way before but as I read there where a few ‘ah ha!’ moments. It brings an understanding of my body if my choices have been inconsistent towards caring for it – I will feel at times, guarded or anxious because I am not used to feeling consistent with myself. I know I can put in the work to build consistency and this blog further confirms that it is worth going down that road.
A fabulous blog Rod – thanks so much. I love how honest this is and how you bring it all back to the fundamental relationship with ourselves and that everything else stems from there.
Wow, what a great sharing! Very empowering to go and start making your own life how you want it to be (yourself). Thank you Rod.
Serious question (“Who can I trust?”) – Ample answer (“ME”).
Avoiding responsibility leads us to blame and point fingers at others (in one form or another) which in turn does nothing but results in us giving up our power to change (which is tremendous)!
It is true that change doesn’t always come easy, but there is a beauty to embrace in that process too. Know how we express admiration for the beauty of butterflies, but forget all their changes (and some ain’t so pretty, are they ;)) to arrive at their beauty!
Thank you Rod for your engaging thoughts!
Love the butterfly analogy Dragana.
Very inspirational! Thank you Rod.
I loved reading this blog and identify so much with it. All my life I did not trust people and believed people just hurt you – only to realise that it was myself I did not trust and it was myself I hurt!
Thank you Rod. This is an amazing take on self-responsibility, and taking the care to develop a true relationship with oneself. I agree, it all comes down to that. No excuses, just a loving consistency in being willing to build such a relationship, as you say.
How amazing to have a world then, where there are more and more people who CAN be truly trusted – and they inspire us (as you have been inspired by Serge Benhayon), to develop the relationship with ourselves first and foremost, so that we then be truly here for others.
This was perfect for me to read today, thank you. I agree with you Rod it is about me walking the talk. The key then is to talk from what you have walked.
Wow!!! Rod, love what you have shared and so simply – as the truth is. Thank you.
I love this Rod, especially the line about “spending the most time with myself, so if I can get this relationship right, everything else will fall into place”. So simple and beautifully put, as well as a true inspiration for me. It cuts through the complications we make about how to ‘fix’ things with our relationships.
Yes I agree so inspiring Michael that if I work on my relationship with myself ‘It cuts through the complications we make about how to ‘fix’ things with our relationships.’
A great new angle on it Rod. And so very true.
I love what you have revealed here Rod; that we can earn our own trust, through commitment – something it seems I have more readily shown towards others than to myself… until the penny drops, and we make that choice!
Absolutely beautiful blog Rod. Struck a few chords for me also. Thank you.
Loved reading your post Rod, thank you!
Rod, you have captured this so beautifully and I completely agree. What a very powerful awareness to have – sets you free from worrying about what everyone else is doing, might be doing, could do? We get so caught up (in the former), yet once the truth of our responsibility to ourselves gets exposed as you have so precisely put it, it is the greatest of gifts.
I love this concept of earning your own trust. It’s a bit scary to think about how I’ve treated myself in the past in this light. Thanks Rod.
Awesome Rod thanks for sharing this. I totally agree we are the ones that let ourselves down the most in life and we can all work on that…
This is great Rod – I am also learning to live without getting caught up in expecting or wanting something from others. This has helped me with this process – thank you.
Thanks for asking the question… “Who can I trust?”, and bringing it back to self. I liked your line, “After all, I spend more time with myself than anyone else, so if I get this relationship right, then all else will fall into place”.
To realise that it is me who has let me down is quite revelatory. Like you I am making progress and changing ingrained habits… I am learning to trust myself more and more by making truer choices for myself.
Thank you Rod, what a great post.
Brilliant Rod, the person who has let me down most in my life, is ME. Never have I looked at it like this, and I love the responsibility required from myself to ‘go there’. Thank you. 🙂
Great post Rod. You know you can trust me too. 🙂 All of my life I have been told by my family that I trust too much… that I see life and people through ‘rose coloured glasses’ – and then slowly I started to not always trust; but since knowing and trusting Serge Benhayon, things have changed. After having previous partners who ‘cheated’ me in one way or another, it was great to meet a man (you) who I can also trust to love me and honour me as much as you do. Now I just have to work more on trusting me. 🙂
Thank you Rod and Sue, ‘trust’ is a quintessential part along with ‘truth’ in my developmental stage of being the true ‘ME’.
Very true Rod – great piece on the crucial issue of trust, responsibility, and the freedom and compassion this naturally brings!
Great blog Rod. You poise a great question and a fantastic answer.
Wow this is so clearly put Rod, a few light dawning moments in it for me! Particularly “the one person who has let me down the most throughout my life” bit.
I’ve spent a lot of my life being suspicious of others and either trusting too much (supposedly!) or trusting too little, and doing lots of blaming and justifying as a result… totally forgetting that essential and crucial ingredient… ME. I have never trusted myself. The other line I love and which I am attempting to live by too is “My priority is to be responsible for myself and meet my own expectations without getting caught up in, expecting, or wanting something from others”. A big one. Thank you so much for expressing this in the way that you have.
I reckon those expectations on others set us up for a roller coaster ride of emotion because we can’t truly understand where people are at or why – the big picture is really big. Its much more loving to rely on ourselves and allow others to be where they are….but that is still a big learning curve for me!
A beautiful inspiration Rod – thanks.