by Katerina Nikolaidis, Australia
Recently I took my car in for what I knew would be a very expensive service. It had just clocked up 100,000 k’s and I knew this involved the replacement of the timing belt and that I was looking at a bill of around $1400. Unlike other times I’ve taken my car for a service where I’ve felt the anxiety of parting with the money that was due, on this occasion it was the most wonderful experience. From the journey to my mechanic, to the interactions before leaving my car with him, to paying the bill and to driving my car home… it all felt absolutely amazing.
It felt amazing because for as long as I can remember I have had a challenging relationship with money. It wouldn’t matter whether I had a lot of money or a small amount; I could never seem to keep it and it always seemed to be running out. It was as if I was in a perpetual panic state about money, wondering where it was going to come from, fearful of losing it and terrified as to whether I would be OK… I had this deep-seated, unexplained fear of becoming destitute.
Of course, this attitude and relationship with money, had ramifications with how I interacted with the world. At work for example, I would have this underlying fear that if my boss decided I wasn’t good enough, he would get rid of me, I’d have no money, I’d be left destitute (that word again) and so on. So I would never really be at ease, trusting that perhaps I’m actually doing a great job just as it is and that I don’t have to be so anxious. Having this constant anxiety meant that there was no room for creativity. Whatever task I’d perform would feel constricted and stifled, always terrified that it might not be up to par, and of the horrendous consequences that could follow.
This, was not a fun way to live on a day to day basis.
Up until the time I came across Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I put a lot of effort into ignoring how awful this felt. I did this by never sitting still, never wanting to feel how horrible it actually felt in my body to have this constant anxiety. With the support offered through Universal Medicine, I started to connect to myself more and I realised how disconnected I had been up until then. The more I connected to myself, the more I could feel that my issues around money were bringing up an enormous amount of anxiety in my body and that this felt horrible. So I started to examine my attitudes and behaviours around money.
What I came to realise was that my relationship with money had a huge amount to do with how I saw myself and how I would treat myself: I didn’t value myself very highly, but I didn’t really want to look at this. So I would look outwards always seeking a distraction or a fix, be it at a clothes shop, a workshop, a trip away. It was all about the quality I was in when I was deciding what to do with my money or how to spend my money. If I felt inadequate and didn’t want to feel this, I would often smother that feeling by buying something. The trouble was, I would be making the purchase in the quality of feeling unworthy and even though I might have been getting a bit of a buzz initially, deep down I would still feel pretty low about myself.
On the other hand, if I purchased something knowing that this product or service would nurture me and support me to take more care of myself, then the quality would be totally different. The item I would purchase would feel lovely, regardless of what it actually was, and I would feel lovely as I was making the purchase and afterwards. There would be none of those yucky feelings of anxiousness or guilt around it – instead, lots of joy.
The more I would ‘get’ this, the more the choices I would make around money started to change. I would start to enjoy this very different feeling: I’d meander around shops, look at items that appealed to me and feel whether it was true to purchase them or not. I would do this by registering the feeling in my body. If it didn’t feel right, I would feel the start of the anxiousness I was very familiar with from the past. And I didn’t want that! If it did feel right, my body would feel expanded, I would feel the resounding ‘yes’, that this item or service would support me, be it in a fun-loving way or whatever way that may be. This, was a much more joyful way to shop!!
What I also started to notice was that I trusted myself more. It was as if I could hear and feel a warm and steady foundation in me that knew that, provided I take responsibility, I would be looked after, because I was making the choice to take care of myself first. This has been a massive turnaround. It has meant that less and less do I go into my workplace in the anxiety that I’m not performing as well as I should be. It has meant that my confidence in myself is building. And it is this that is building a totally new relationship with money and with me.
So my trip to the mechanic for my most recent car service simply confirmed to me how joyful it actually is, when I commit to making loving choices with money, choices that will look after me. I felt more joy paying for my car service than I’ve felt buying a gorgeous dress or piece of jewellery. This was because it was not so much about the actual ‘thing’ I had purchased. It was the dedication I could feel to committing to looking after me, and using my finances to support this. And that, is priceless…
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
This was a biggie for me, “my relationship with money has a huge amount to do with how I saw myself and how I would treat myself”, is how I used to live my life. This statement is game changer not for some recent event but previous ones too.
I have temporarily changed job positions and there were rumours of the possibility of having to return to my substantive position due to a virus going around the world. And many thoughts possible entered to take me out of how I was originally feeling. And reading this blog has bought it to light that it doesn’t matter, if this is the case, then so be it. I just needed to go with what is being asked of me and not what was holding me to do it.
Our relationships with anything we hold in this world has an impact on our self worth. When we make our self worth at the forefront, then what is occurring around the world doesn’t impact it, because we know who we are.
Katerina how beautiful to feel the unfolding relationship with money and you. It reminded me of how my relationship with money and me has changed over the years. I inherited this unhealthy relationship from my parents, and the struggle was passed onto us and from time to time it still plays out.
It all changed a few years ago, when I also met Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. How I spend my money and the feelings I am left with is not the same to how I used to spend and feel. If I need something, I still research but I certainly don’t like to wait till it’s needed urgently.
Our choices in everything is vital just like the breath we take, it all matters. There is more refining to do, but what I appreciate is the fact that I can feel the difference to how I was and how I am now, and it certainly isn’t carrying any traits of the inheritance of my parents and being in lack.
When we evolve from an unhealthy relationship, it feels absolutely magnificent in and for the body, always worth noticing in anything we do.
Relationship with money is forever evolving, it is THE thing that is draining the world. If the relationship is from lack and how we can make more, then the attitude of greed takes over and you out. If the relationship is being paid for a service, then the relationship is for God and we are showered with more then what money can buy – how about the universe?.
Katerina I can so relate to what you say here, I am still working on getting rid of a scarcity consciousness. I can feel it going though which is excellent. I am now very ready to say yes to more love, more purpose and more money in my life!
The great thing about money is that it magnifies the relationship we have with matter, for us to realise about ourselves much more than the matter itself.
A beautiful understanding of the importance of how we feel about ourselves and the values we hold and the difference this makes to how we live our lives and the way things truly feel being the support they offer us or not.
It is such a gorgeous feeling to buy something that is supportive. I recently went shopping for a thick winter jacket and found something I really liked the style of and heavily reduced, it fitted well and it all happened really simply. When I put on the coat I feel the intent it was purchased in and my own love and care, and it’s quite stylish which confirms my inner beauty. I feel like it supports me to shine.
I agree Melinda, when you have something supportive, it certainly feels supportive. I have felt this since we purchased a Porsce a month ago and wondered why my partner and I hadn’t done this years ago.
There is also the other relationship too, where you can have all the money and can buy absolutely everything and yet, it’s never enough too. At the end of the day, it isn’t about the relationship with money it’s about the relationship with you and everything else. Place you at the forefront and the rest around you can take care of it’s self.
Yes Doug, I guess it’s getting the balance right, feeling what is truly needed in each situation.
Spending money on practical aspects such as car service, bills or rent or mortage etc can take on a different meaning when we look at what it offers us in terms of support in life. For example paying for the car service is a part of appreciating the fact we have a car that then allows us to go to work, to drive around to get the groceries etc etc and when we begin to look at it this way, there is already a return on the investment and hence the appreciation of this can grow and expand, leaving no space for any resentment of spending that money and only confirming our worth and deepening our relationship with self and money.
Buyiing things or spending money to fill emptiness or to confirm the beauty within are two completely different experiences.
Retail therapy gets a new meaning from this blog now Katerina!
It makes sense if we buy something to nurture and support ourselves that this helps take care of us rather than buying something in the quality of feeling unworthy.
Priceless indeed Katerina, as is anything to do with Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine!
I agree Greg, what Serge Benhayon brings is beyond value.
Yes Loraine, what value could we ever put on our Soul-fully-connected-essences?
I really love the simplicity behind the so-called issues and its complexity we identify and struggle with. It resolves on its own accord if we choose to be love and loving with ourselves.
Settling in unworthiness only brings unsettlement wherever we go.
I had an interesting experience with money in that I was tempted to buy a gorgeous piece of jewellery at a very good price but just couldn’t get myself to do it. As I drove away, I realised that I would have bought it to give myself something that I thought I didn’t have, a feeling of abundance, something luxurious, precious and beautiful. And I was relieved I hadn’t bought it as I understood I can buy things only as a confirmation of who and what I am but never out of a lack.
Absolutely Gabriele, what every we do from food, drinks, movies and luxury items etc. and how and what we do with them is super important as they can all have either the most confirming effect of our divine connection as Katerina has shared or deepen us in illusion.
It’s something most people could understand, the anxiety of money disappearing fast into bills, etc, and will we have enough? It’s a very real consideration of modern life. What I appreciate about the blog is we can change the way we are with money and the feeling we have when we spend it, particularly in the feeling we are caring for ourselves. I have bought a lot of things in the past to feel good or cheer myself up, but it hasn’t necessarily been needed or truly caring. Good also to read about how connection to your body communicated what was underlying certain purchases or services.
Connection to the body and with that a deep appreciation of self and all around is certainly Key, Melinda, and as you have confirmed in your comment, this is what flavours the experience completely.
It is always wise to feel into what the underlying reasons are behind any action.
I had a similar experience recently at the dental hygienist, I felt it was time to check in and get my teeth cleaned and didn’t baulk at the price but choose a hygienist who was thorough and it was the most beautiful confirmation of how I’d been living and yes it felt like a gorgeous gift to myself, and a great reflection of my dedication in the daily care I bring to my teeth and gums and how I live.
When we do things in dedication to ourselves, our wellbeing and ability to serve, every bit of money spent is a joy and scarcity doesn’t get a look in.
That feeling of purchasing something that is supportive of bringing care into my life, and care may be general maintenance of my body such as exercise equipment or body creams or bringing care in allowing myself to feel playful in a sparkly dress. That feeling is amazing.
Lack of self-worth needs to be constantly fed. That is why we have to save it from becoming insignificant. Spending our savings to save it is a very clear pattern of movement… we can leave behind.
I have been looking into what I am investing in, and what you here offer feels like the missing piece – the quality. Even though I knew what I am putting my money into would be good for me and all that, but in honesty, I cannot deny a hint of ‘but really, I don’t have enough to afford this’ and I would end up feeling tight and heavy and anxious. And what I am feeling is the difference between looking after myself by doing the ‘right’ thing, and making a choice from a place of truly loving and nurturing myself.
Valuing ourselves is something that we can dismiss all too easily which is most unfortunate as it is the foundations that we build our sense of self worth upon.
Love this Doug. It’s awesome because in the past I would have seen someone who saves all their money as being ‘good with money’. You comment shows that the way we are with money is a relationship and this relationship in turn affects all of our relationships.
Brilliantly shared Katerina and priceless indeed. When I first read this years ago it resonated but I haven’t been able to fully live it yet. Today I feel a steady resolve to change the way I use money and I know that this resolve is there because I’m changing the relationship I have with myself.
Really lovely to read this again. I can feel I still have a lot of anxiety around money, but the simple way you have shared about purchases being truly caring, nurturing and supportive or from a place of unworthiness is a great way to approach spending.
The difference in buying something to ease anxiety or to truly support is very tangible. The first has a habit of being momentary and unfulfilling. The latter is far more supportive and provides a feeling of stability long term.
Money can be such an emotive issue, often we have to pay for things that make us feel hard done by, and as you say when we start to realise how those things support us, paying for them becomes more of a joy because we are actually taking responsibility for the things that we need to support us.
Investing in taking responsibility to care for our car and our vehicle of expression, our body, enables us to move with confidence.
“if I purchased something knowing that this product or service would nurture me and support me to take more care of myself, then the quality would be totally different.” This is a wonderful blog Katerina, I had not considered money this way and now realise how much more love there is waiting to be lived in the way I shop and spend money, thankyou.
Our relationship with money can be a reflection of our life, our values, and relationship with self, ‘the quality of our relationship with ourselves affects everything thereafter.’
Everything is energy and everything is because of energy. Money is energy and our relationship with money is certainly a reflection of our other relationships too. Thank you Lorraine.
It’s value – spending money that supports building / expanding more of that feeling you know that meets your essence.
Thanks Rik, appreciate the simplicity of what you have shared here!
This is such a supportive sharing. Thank you, Katerina. Money is what many people claim as the very reason why they work. It is the currency in the society. The way you describe how you decide to buy something or not clearly shows that it is all about investment and what is driving it, and it feels like there isn’t much that we actually need but there’s a lot we could do by choice to support ourselves.
A brilliant blog Katerina uncovering the relationship many of us can have around money. You raise some great points around buying and the difference felt when buying an item from a lack of self-worth or from a place of truly valuing oneself and making a purchase that is in deep appreciation of you.
I can relate to this a lot. My relationship with money up until just the last couple of years has been one of lack – always living hand to mouth and feeling guilty if I bought even necessary items, but then splurging when I couldn’t stand the control any longer. This has all changed now. In our family we now budget everything so when an unexpected bill comes up, or the car needs servicing, or as happened recently I need to buy some new clothes, the money is already there so we are not ‘robbing Peter to pay Paul’. I now feel abundant and at ease with money – no longer seeking the quick fix, ‘retail therapy’ aka anxiety numbing, I always used to use to make myself feel better (temporarily anyway). It’s awesome.
I’ve found that when I’ve bought something with a lack of worth, like should I really buy it, either then opting to buy a version that is cheaper and not something I really like’… I don’t enjoy using or wearing it at all and eventually give it away. But when I value myself and why I’m buying something, I love using what I’ve purchased.
It is interesting to note that when we buy something to attempt to change how we feel – in my experience we simply end up confirming what we felt in the first place. It seems to me that this is because whatever our desire – i.e. to change how we feel – our actions are first and foremost based on the fact that we don’t feel good and hence are in fact a confirmation of the feeling we don’t want in the first place. We need to go deeper than this superficial level of interaction and change the fundamental root of the feeling if we really want to change it.
I imagine that if we give our power to a purchase to help us feel better or feel something other than the beautiful soul we already are, then the purchase ends up owning us. As you say Richard that purchase ends up confirming that original negative feeling.
I bought a winter jacket recently. It was more money than I would usually pay for a jacket but my criteria was different this time. The purchase was based on self-love, a choice made to buy something that would ensure I stayed warm even on the coldest of days – and I love it – it feels like pulling on a duvet to go out walking the dog in. Despite the cost it was for sure, money well spent and an act of love for myself that is in fact ‘priceless’.
An article full of a wisdom we all know, but don’t want to be responsible for knowing, and hence, have to see just how little we truly support ourselves. Yet it is only through feeling that we deserve way more love and support, will we then give it to ourselves.
Thank you Katerina, priceless! There are many gems in your blog reminding us that the quality of our relationship with ourselves affects everything thereafter.
On re-reading this I feel the grace of being given a stop moment. I have pondered some on my relationship with money recently and have come to understand I have had a tendency to not appreciate how much it really does support me. On reflection I can see that there is a deeper invitation to support myself with deep appreciation and acceptance of the beauty, tenderness and love that I am.
Thank you Leigh for your comment, I can feel I’ve had a lot of guilt about spending, and beliefs such as that ‘it’s bad to spend money’ impinging on the clarity you present here, that money can be there to support us to live the beauty of our essence, and evolve deeper into it. It’s a completely different way to approach money.
‘provided I take responsibility, I would be looked after, because I was making the choice to take care of myself first’. Love this little gem of wisdom…..
Such an interesting and inspiring blog Katerina, thank you. It is great to look at our relationship with ourselves and we are then more likely to have a deeper understanding of our relationship with money. It can often be a stressful topic for many people and what you’ve shared is hugely supportive in so many ways.
I like how you relate money to the way you live, to the support that it brings, instead of seeing it as something separate that can have one either worry a lot and keep one in constant anxiousness or having a carelessness about it.
So many people struggle in their relationship with money and never come to the awareness needed to overcome or transform it into something deeply supportive like you have. The commitment and the foundation you have developed for yourself is remarkable and your sharing invaluable in what it can offer another.
So True Samantha, a priceless celebration of how we can live without the counterbalance of worthlessness.
A great blog for me to read Katerina, it supports me to be more realistic with money. Also, it inspires me to look deeper at my relationship with money and why I experience certain challenges. Also learning to feel into why I purchase certain items over another, I often base my purchases on price instead of quality. It is time for me to practise shopping with more awareness and discernment, instead of being price driven, allow myself to feel what is supportive and what is not.
Brilliant blog Katerina and shines a light on how important it is to develop our relationship with ourselves first and foremost as this, in turn, affects our relationship with everything and everyone.
Thank you Katerina for a great blog, what stood out for me was the ward support, I sometimes buy clothes that I like bring them home and then don’t wear them, i feel from reading your blog that I need to go more into the feeling of how what I am purchasing will support me in my commitment to look after myself lovingly.
‘It was the dedication I could feel to committing to looking after me, and using my finances to support this. And that, is priceless…’ such a different approach of spending money, it feels a true approach Katerina and a joyful one as it builds on confidence and love not only for yourself but for all, as there is an appreciation not only for yourself but also for the one who receives the money for the provided service.
“It was the dedication I could feel to committing to looking after me, and using my finances to support this.” Katerina what a beautiful way to purchase things it opens up the possibility to appreciate and honor myself in every angle of my life.
I have been noticing how little things were making me nervous and anxious lately, and what I realise is that asking myself and see if the choices I am making are of true love is the most effective counter to self-doubt and anxiousness – and if there still is unsettlement, then I know what to go back to and change.
It is amazing how the bodies responses let us know what is true or not for us. If there is unease it is asking us to look a little deeper as you say Fumiyo.
‘When I commit to making loving choices with money, choices that will look after me.’ This is so profound, there is no strain in spending money on truly supportive things, I also feel the quality in which we make the money effects, or influences, the way we spend it.
I’ve had a similar relationship with money in the past, using it to confirm my self worth or to avoid looking at my lack of self worth and using purchases as a temporary means of escape, though never feeling fully fulfilled and often guilty for spending the money in the first place. Whether I had money or didn’t have money didn’t seem to affect how anxious I often felt about it! As a result of developing a more relationship with myself, I’ve also developed a more supportive relationship with money and these days see it much more as a support for me, rather than an escape from me.
So much more fun to go shopping or buying anything with your body as a trusted friend than allowing you mind to spoil the fun.
“If it did feel right, my body would feel expanded, I would feel the resounding ‘yes’, that this item or service would support me, be it in a fun-loving way or whatever way that may be. This, was a much more joyful way to shop!!” Love this Katerina – trusting what our body feels is so important – something I wasn’t introduced to until I came to Universal Medicine presentations. We then have a choice – to listen and respond – or react and ignore it.
I loved reading your article Katerina, I too have had many issues with spending money and it has only been of late that I am beginning to pull up these issues, and myself, and spend my money where it truly supports me. The difference has been marked. I no longer find myself stressed about having enough money to cover bills and to also have some to spend on the personal things needed, as there is always enough. The funny thing is, all of my life, there has always been enough, even when it looked like there wasn’t, there was. There has never been the need to stress as I have done, but I did, to now feel the difference in my body is truly remarkable.
I love what you have shared here Katarina, very supportive for anyone, not just those with money ‘issues’. It does feel super lovely to spend our money on things that truly support us and they could be very very practical things. I have been spending money on house repairs and maintenance and the difference in my body is huge. It’s also opening up my relationship with my partner even more, which I never would have expected. So there is an effect when we don’t spend the money that we need to or address things as they come up too, rather than leaving them until later (whenever that may be).
When you feel into what is really supporting you to spend your money on there is always an effect on the money flow. Holding on to money out of fear that you do not have enough money to provide in daily basic items leads to a stagnation in your money flow. Money gives us such a great reflection.
This is such a different way of approaching finances and feeling into what really is the energy the money flows in, and how it effects us.
It has been a turn around for me also, in learning to appreciate the people that support me and appreciating their value and service. I often paid a bill at the last moment feeling I was getting an edge by holding onto the money, not appreciating the service that had been offered. Now I realise I cannot value, appreciate and love myself if I don’t hold that equally with another. I’m also not holding the resistance of parting with ‘the cash’ in my body and I can feel the openness to not holding back.
It’s fascinating how we use the acquisition, retention and spending of money to distract from what we don’t want to feel and as such completely disregard what’s going on with our body and the hurts we may be carrying. No surprise then, that when we make a purchase that serves us fully – such as a car service or home repairs, it feels totally right to be parting with the cash, because on a deeper level it is totally supportive of us and our bodies.
Now I realise why spending money on my car often felt great, even when it was a struggle. If I got something on the car fixed I used to say that it felt like I’d won a lottery. It was because to do this was something that supported me to be safe on the road. What a revelation to take this feeling and to apply it to shopping for other things. “Does this nurture and support me?” Is something I will be asking of many of my purchases from now on.
I can relate to a lot of what you have written, Katerina. My relationship with money has always been based on a fear of not having enough. However, I have also come to realise that this is a reflection of how I see myself – as never enough – and as I have been working on this I can feel things changing in terms of my fears around money. I find the fact that everything is so closely interconnected fascinating and it leaves me wondering what else is going on that I am yet to discover about myself.
You nail exactly what goes on when we resort to retail therapy here, Katerina, ‘making the purchase in the quality of feeling unworthy and even though I might have been getting a bit of a buzz initially, deep down I would still feel pretty low about myself.’ A short-lived shopping thrill to numb the pain, the sadness or the hurt we’re feeling, when in fact the best way to deal with what lies beneath is to feel it and let whatever it is just come out. Scary, but way better for us in the long run.
It is interesting how our relationship with money is similar to the relationship we have with ourselves. If we have self worth issues this can be seen in how we are willing to spend money. I used to shop around for the cheapest and best bargains rather than see it as a loving investment in me…especially when it came to my car. True value comes from valuing myself first, not from any bargain I might feel I have found.
From reading your blog Katerina and the comments here I got the feeling that money is a currency, something that needs to continously flow as an expression of appreciation. But there is a part in me that wants to hold on to money or things as a security, which I clearly feel is a lack of trust in that whatever I need will come to me.
It is so beautiful that we have the ability to change patterns and in the end we can live totally free of the unhealthy behavior. Isn’t that miraculous?
Yes Linda beautiful to develop that quality – ‘This has been a massive turnaround. It has meant that less and less do I go into my workplace in the anxiety that I’m not performing as well as I should be. It has meant that my confidence in myself is building. And it is this that is building a totally new relationship with money and with me.’
I love your appreciation of everything equally Katerina, ‘This was because it was not so much about the actual ‘thing’ I had purchased. It was the dedication I could feel to committing to looking after me, and using my finances to support this. And that, is priceless…’
I love that sentence too Jenny, we make it so much about owning something but really the way we feel makes our day and that is directly related to the way we treat ourselves.
Decisions regarding money and the purchase of anything, a service or an article are the same as any other decision they serve best made from a place of Love and honoring of yourselves.
Amazing how, how we value ourselves comes out in how we use and express with money. And how this is just a surface reflection of the deep seated values and beliefs that we essentially have about ourselves. So, by addressing the deeper held behaviours the more obvious surface ones are already taken care of. This puts a new perspective on many of the solutions available today for financial health and stability.
‘What I also started to notice was that I trusted myself more. It was as if I could hear and feel a warm and steady foundation in me that knew that, provided I take responsibility, I would be looked after, because I was making the choice to take care of myself first.’ I feel this too. it is as if a part of me had been left abandoned and now I am reclaiming it and becoming whole and full again and there is a sense of celebration and joy in this.
I love that statement too Elaine Arthey! That the level of trust we have that we are taken care of is directly related to the level of care and support we give ourselves.
A gorgeous blog Katerina, thanks for sharing it. I could relate a lot. The dedication and commitment to looking after yourself…it really is priceless.
It’s so funny how I used to have certain items that I would grudge paying for like my car up keep and gas and electric. I now (thanks to a developing relationship with myself) have a far greater respect for the things that I purchase that are there to support me. It is so true Katerina it is indeed priceless when we look after ourselves.
Yes, that is a great point and something I will look into more, when do I part easy with the money and when am I more reluctant. I feel it often has to do with the quality of service that we receive and how much we enjoy the process.
I love the simplicity and wisdom shared in this blog Katarina, and the timing is perfect for me to read this as I have a major car service coming up soon as well. I know my relationship with money needs shifting and this blog is a beautiful support for me especially this line – ‘ if I purchased something knowing that this product or service would nurture me and support me to take more care of myself, then the quality would be totally different.’
Great comment Anna. I know me relationship with money needs shifting also. Having grown up in a very poor family I still struggle with poverty thinking. This line stood out to me too
“if I purchased something knowing that this product or service would nurture me and support me to take more care of myself, then the quality would be totally different.’
“It was the dedication I could feel to committing to looking after me, and using my finances to support this. And that, is priceless…” Thank you Katerina, our relationship with money is a reflection with our relationship to self. I know that if I buy a dress in the energy of ‘I want to feel better’ then it’s not long before I just don’t want to wear that dress anymore, great lesson.
Thank you Katerina for writing about this huge topic, as money in every situation reflects to us. Our relationship with money reflects us the relationship to ourselves on every level. I love your sentence: “It was the dedication I could feel to committing to looking after me, and using my finances to support this. And that, is priceless…” It is palpable, how you have turnaround the former anxiety into a playful and inspirational relationship with money. Very inspiring.
Katerina, I loved reading your blog, it is inspiring to read how you have changed your relationship with money into a supportive, more loving choice.
A timely re-read and I understand what you are saying more deeply now. I recently approached a quote for large expenditure with anxiety and internally nothing felt right. I have since taken the space to approach it again from a place of knowing the work to be done is important to my foundations and therefore deserves care and consideration of each step in the process, and the anxiety is diminishing with each decision made.
Great sharing Katerina, I am becoming aware that money is part of every day life, every choice we make has its influence on our money and vice versa. To spend money on myself has not been easy, it was always first for my family members. But this has changed and my relationship with myself and money is becoming a more loving one, knowing that I am worth to spend my money on.
A timely re read for me today Katerina! I have been concerned about money recently but I know worrying is not the answer, knowing I will have enough, that I am worthy of having money and spending money on myself. I have always found it easy to justify spending on others but not myself, this is all changing now thanks to the teachings of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon. Thank you for your sharing Katerina.
Insightful sharing Katerina.
When reading your blog one things comes up for me…
Reward points for shopping, often I would base my whole shopping schedule around optimising the points I was collecting. However I have realised the huge strain, effort and energy required to do this.
– Buying things unnecessary
– Finding items to purchase together
– spending hours researching good reward programs
I’m not saying there is anything wrong with reward programs but when they supersede the basic objective of supporting ourselves then there is an unnecessary layer of complexity.
Luke I agree that there is a trap in rewards programs that one can easily slip into. It is basically set up to serve the marketing needs of an organisation and not the customer, and takes a lot of energy. Because my shops are small there can be the tendency to overspend if I get caught up in it. Not to mention finding the necessary coupon when one finally fronts up to the check-out. Unnecessary complexity is added to the simple act of purchasing food.
Agree, whenever I feel this fluster of unnecessary I know the rewards program at that time is not worth it!
Thank you Katerina so much I can relate to as I have grown up with a ‘poverty mentality’ despite coming from a comfortable background and this has had a huge impact on my adult life with the constant nagging fear that I wouldn’t have enough. As I have started to take more care and responsibility for how I am living this has slowly started to change and I am appreciating spending money to support me and trusting that if I feel into the purchase I will be guided to the right choice.
Dear Katerina, as I am also quite often worried about money I enjoyed reading your article. What I have learned in the last years is that it`s really about the energy in which we make the decision to buy something. When I spend much money on things that support me because I feel worthy and want to confirm my self appreciation, I can feel the joy about that deep inside. When I buy something to feel better and to avoid e.g. feeling a lack of self worth or other uncomfortable feelings, I just feel an emptiness afterwards.
So true Evamaria, when I have brought clothes because I wanted to fit a picture I had or wanted to please another the energy of this stands out very strongly in my wardrobe, so much so that I will end up giving the clothes to a charity shop. Buying items in confirmation of ourselves is so much better then buying products when we are feeling less than and want to be something we are not.
I can understand the anxiety that occurs when parting with money, however as you have stated Katerina if what you are purchasing is going to support you its well worth it
Our level of self-worth can have a huge impact on everything, I have in the past gone for jobs believing that I should just take whatever comes my way regardless of the situation before me. Then it snowballs as what is worked for is then never enough because it started with ‘I am not enough’. What reading this blog again highlighted this time is that we are enough and are worth investing in and supporting financially and when we start from that basis we will be and have enough.
‘What reading this blog again highlighted this time is that we are enough and are worth investing in and supporting financially and when we start from that basis we will be and have enough.’ Thank you for this confirmation Leigh which is really relevant for me in my employment situation currently. I have spent so much of my working life starting from the ‘I am not enough’ premise which is then reflected in not having enough but I am looking at how I can change this and whether it means changing jobs/careers.
I am in the same boat Helen in terms of changing jobs. I have no idea where I will go but I know my feelings won’t steer me wrong. The more that self-worth builds the less attracted I am towards jobs that are dishonouring and/or abusive regardless if they are high pay, something I used to strive for in a lack of self-worth, often believing ‘I need more’ from the outside. The job might pay well and allow us to buy loads of things but without feeling that we are enough it all comes tainted and is never enough to fill that hole within.
I recently felt the value of what you speak of Katerina. We bought an air conditioner to keep us warm in winter as I have a very old home. It has felt incredible to do this to support the whole family, even though it was expensive. It made me consider how I hadn’t been completely self caring and just accepting the way it was.
Your comment Matthew reminds me of how I kept putting off adding oil to my car, I was not looking after myself or my car and thought the rattling sound of the engine was just something I would have to put up with. When I did give it some oil the sound went and the car ran so much smoothly. This was a good lesson for me to act at the time and not accept less.
Katerina, thank you for your sharing, it is so important to feel and know what supports us and what we spend just to be distracted. I have found that whenever I pay out in order to lovingly support myself, it pays me back in so many ways.
I can relate to what you are sharing Katerina, there is so much reluctance in paying for the services we receive and yet is something done that supports us in living our lives. I had to learn to appreciate what I was spending money on and not be in a constant panic attack to not having enough money. Money, is a huge topic and yet it is often not talked about. It is something absolutely substantial to have to go through life but it is often not dealt with with the integrity and responsibility we deserve. So yes, it does come back to how we are with ourselves and the worth and love we know us to be.
“What I came to realise was that my relationship with money had a huge amount to do with how I saw myself and how I would treat myself: I didn’t value myself very highly, but I didn’t really want to look at this. So I would look outwards always seeking a distraction or a fix,” So many of us today go to ‘retail therapy’ to try and fix feeling bad about ourselves. This doesn’t work beyond the brief contentment at the time of purchase. However when I value myself and shop to confirm that feeling in me, the feeling is very different. I love how you now look at your necessary spending, like car servicing etc, all so essential to the lives we lead today. I shall value – and enjoy – paying my bills so much more.
This blog is such a testament to the power of our intention to change the way we can be or feel in a situation. We can feel anxious and in fear of not having enough money or in deep appreciation of the fact that we are spending money in a way that greatly supports ourselves. I can imagine the mechanic would have felt a big difference in the way you approached paying for this service. So many people must pay feeling resentful or fearful of parting with their money, but to receive appreciation and joy, now that’s a gift, and a two way exchange.
I can absolutely relate to feeling anxiousness come up when thinking about buying something that I don’t really need. And the different feeling of solidness and at ease when going to invest in something that will genuinely support me.
Great blog Katerina…how we are within ourselves does affect every little thing in our daily lives too. I certainly know that feeling of seeing something in a shop that I just know with all my body will work for me. I walked into a clothing shop the other day, saw a top that I knew would work, and the trying it on was only a confirmation of this, then I bought it. There was no thought as to whether it would go with this or that, which creates a level of angst in itself. However when I brought it home I discovered it goes with many things and can be used in many ways – magic? not really – its about accepting our bodies and trusting what we feel, and this can become our everyday norm.
Paying for your car repair is a great example of using money in a really supportive way Katerina. The same could be said about any bill and makes it odd to begrudge paying a bill for a service we use that lovingly supports us. Electricity is a great example – it makes it possible to see in the dark, operate many other loving and supportive devices like a washing machine, oven or electric blanket and most valuable of all – it can keep the home warm in winter.
So true Deanne why do we begrudge paying for things like electricity which are so supportive in many ways. Appreciating all the things that support us to live our lives in comfort would transform our attitude to paying for utilities and other necessities and be much less draining of our energy.
What a great example of the electricity Deanne… It made me consider many other things that instead of begrudging and / or feeling guilty, we can consider as supporting a commitment to ourselves… Such as paying rent, attending a course, buying supplements, paying for petrol, buying clothes, paying a phone bill etc. My approach to many of these purchases has totally changed in recent years and it’s not that the type or amount of the bill has necessarily changed but that I am now approaching this from having made a commitment to myself – and now my purchases are a lot more simply confirming this, in preference to looking to the purchase to give me something I don’t already feel inside.
Katerina you have mentioned a link ” constant anxiety meant that there was no room for creativity” this explains a lot as I have lived under a cloud of anxiety and money was always put before and above anything else. I remember categorising unpaid creative endeavours as indulgent and I would feel guilty despite the fact it is very much part of my natural expression. I had to override so much and go into busyness to feel I was pulling my weight. I find it interesting also I have never felt ‘poor’ I have always experienced being supported as I have a very deep knowing of abundance and flow, but despite that I was capped by the anxiety to be seen to be contributing.
That is a beautiful way to look at spending money, spending it to support ourself trough making self loving choices.
We fool ourselves that by buying things we will become more of ourselves, but we cannot ever fill our emptiness within with material goods, therefore shopping from a lack to begin with, cannot ever bring true fulfillment (fullness), which begins with self-love.
Money spent in honoring of ourselves is a confirmation of the value and worthiness we are and accept ourselves to be. It is always a joy and celebration, and this choice brings about a whole different meaning to what loving ourselves is.
It is very important how we feel when purchasing something. And as you said Katerina, it does not matter if it is a dress, a repair for the car. If I feel joy and a flow and the price feels correct, what I have bought will actually always have this imprint.
Thank you Katerina, a very refreshing look at money, and at appreciating how you’re worth it to drive a car that is maintained to a high standard. The link between money and self worth is clearly shown in what you write, very deepening.
I have been reflecting on my previous jobs and the jobs I have enjoyed the most were the ones where I didn’t work for money. I got paid but I put the position and people first before money and it was so free and enjoyable. These jobs also paid more than I anticipated.
Wow Katerina thank you for exposing shopping or spending money for what it is. It’s not really about money, it’s about the energy we are in when we purchase something. Instead of connecting to this energy and feeling into what is driving it we blame it on the money. I would shrink or contract to if I was constantly being blamed for something maybe this is why we think we never have enough money.
On re-reading this blog I’m recalling a time when I literally could not spend money on myself. This was even when money was not in short supply. Looking back I realise that I was so disconnected from myself it was very hard for me to feel what would be supportive, and I definitely did not value myself highly. This has changed immensely since I have built self-love into my life again, and brought self-nurture into my daily routine. It is lovely to buy something that just feels right, be it an object or a service.
Katerina, thank you for sharing. Money and self worth issues seem to go together. I have had these issues come up for myself too, and am learning to appreciate that I am worthy of self nurture, it is a loving way to show your appreciation to self and our bodies!
Katerina your article is super supportive, and has expanded my approach to spending money. I am inspired that spending money on the car was equally as expansive as buying a gorgeous dress, and although I do not resent paying bills I noticed I do not always give this the same value as other items. I take away your gem that ‘It was the dedication I could feel to committing to looking after me, and using my finances to support this.’
Without doubt in the past I have been an honorary shopaholic but as I focused more and more on building my qualities the less need I felt to shop. The fact that I feel I am and have enough just as I am is indeed a ‘priceless’ revelation.
Thanks Katerina, a very timely read. I can relate to what you have shared, in times where I have lacked confidence in myself there has often been experiences of more financial hardship and in times where I am more claimed in myself my finances seem to flow.
Absolutely priceless Katerina, for how can the value of caring and truly supporting ourselves be measured? Valuing ourselves as number one priority takes the angst out of purchasing what it is that is needed to support us truly. I love what you have uncovered here of the importance of each and every relationship we have, including the one with money.
I agree Giselle, this is a great example of how important it is to look more deeply into every relationship we have – including the one with money!
Katerina I could relate to this, as I’m sure so many will – “If I felt inadequate and didn’t want to feel this, I would often smother that feeling by buying something.” I haven’t been one to buy up big on clothes, shoes or jewelry, I would shop with a belief of ‘that will do’ or a panic to find something that will make me look good. What I did buy with no holding back was health supplements, skin care products and any treatments that would fix me or make me better. Never buying something for myself because I was worth it and I loved it. This has changed a lot, like not just grabbing items but waiting to find what feels lovely on my body or supports me, and that I actually like. The more I make choices like this, the more I let go of ‘money issues’.
“Never buying something for myself because I was worth it and I loved it”. Yes Aimee, I have had a few years of this, just ‘making do’, buying what I had to. I can feel now how horrible that feels. Buying something which I really like and enjoy is so much more fun and so much more supportive and confirming. Of course we don’t need to buy anything to know how much we are worth, and nothing we buy brings up our worth, it’s just a confirmation.
Thank you Katerina, for sharing this experience. I enjoyed reading the detail around how you determine whether a choice to spend money feels right, or not. It makes sense that by being responsible, committing to looking after ourselves and using our finances to support this allows for a joyful way to live. This then confirms our innate worth and allows us to feel the support that is always there for us.
Having read your blog quite some time ago it has been very revealing to re-read it again and the insights it has brought me, thank you Katerina. I have a constant underlying anxiety around money and it running out, irrespective of whether I have a little or a lot, it’s the feeling of being left destitute, some of this comes from being irresponsible with money in the past. These days I am much more responsible with money, but still carry that old idea that I am irresponsible.
Thomas, how awesome to be aware of this attitude and approach to money; once we are allowing ourselves to become aware like this, we’re already half way there to changing that limiting approach to money.
A relationship with money is an interesting topic Katerina as it means different things to different people. I know I can relate to the anxiousness around spending money as I use to love saving it. By not spending it I felt secure and safe. I’ve just realised by writing this it is a form of hiding away from life and not being committed to living a loving life for myself. This has felt stilted. Nowadays money seems to flow a lot easier even though I still save, it doesn’t feel like it has as much of a hold on me as life seems to flow easier due to my reconnection back with myself.
Anne, I’m a saver too. But the funny thing is I save a bit of money, it looks good in my bank account, then I go and spend it and when I get home I feel guilty for ‘wasting ‘ my money and I then stress as I no longer have any money in my bank account, then I live with the fear of what if something happens and I need money and I don’t have any. This is the exhausting pattern I live in that I have just exposed to myself. Much to ponder on here.
Never sitting still actually feeds anxiety – and getting caught in the vicious circle of satisfying the craving and the highs of excessive shopping is a great way to avoid sitting still!
This article whilst focusing on money is pertinent for every aspect of life that we do not live harmoniously with. I have discovered a new level of anxiety recently that has had me holding myself in a way that is really hurting my body and one of the keys for me is really feeling how much I have ignored the familiar feelings and not taken responsibility. The damage caused by this way of living is tangible and the constant need to conform and live outside of myself is testament to the result. As I work through this and arrest the patterns of old – stubborn as they are – I am buoyed by Katerina’s statement ‘What I also started to notice was that I trusted myself more. It was as if I could hear and feel a warm and steady foundation in me that knew that, provided I take responsibility, I would be looked after, because I was making the choice to take care of myself first.’ It is remarkable that when we say NO to all that is not Love we are saying YES to all that is and this feels so much better in the body.
Thank you for sharing Katerina. I liked reading the part about how when we don’t value ourselves too much we tend to look outside and spend money on ‘bettering’ ourselves- valuing things that aren’t truly supportive, and so constantly spending money to keep that feeling we get after a purchase. No wonder I use to struggle with money! If we don’t look at this, we are forever spending money to make ourselves feel better…
Beautiful awareness Emily, spending money to make ourselves feel better – and it often doesn’t last long, as we know if we really ‘needed’ to buy this, if it’s really supportive, or if it was just a ‘fix’.
I can so relate to your blog Katerina and it was great to read it again. I have also always had this unexplained fear of becoming broke or destitute and as a result still sometimes have a strained difficult relationship with money and saving/spending it. I have also experienced what you talk about in your blog about the way we spend money being so important. I have noticed that it is not just what I spend my money on, but how I am when I spend it. If I am anxious or worried when I spend money, even if it is on something that I know will support me or my family, then it still does not feel great in my body and still comes with anxiety. I have noticed that this can even affect the outcome afterwards on what I spent the money on as it laces things somehow with a suffocating, constricting energy which prevents me from fully enjoying or experiencing the support. Where as if I allow myself to feel that expansion when spending money on something supportive it becomes a completely different experience. Such a big topic.
Many of us, have an issue with ‘money’ at some point in our lives, it does feel to be symbolic of our relationship with ourselves, the question comes of what do feel we are worth…If we do not have self worth then our relationship with money reflects this and many other behaviour patterns. I feel mine particularly reflected my lack of responsibility in life, if I had money I would spend it and not pay attention to the bills coming and did not plan for the future, which is also connected to my self worth. I can see in practical terms over the last 10 years or so that through building a foundation of care and love in my life my finances have reflected this change. The inspiration I felt from attending Universal Medicine presentations concerning returning to a place of connection with the inner self and building love in my life have been ‘priceless’ an awesome experience to have shared in and I can see how my choices are having a big impact on my quality of life and yes my relationship with money.
‘provided I take responsibility, I would be looked after, because I was making the choice to take care of myself first’. This line really stood out for me today, will take this into my day!
Perfect for me to read this blog today Katerina. I have recently been mulling over my relationship with money and how I overspend. What became clear is that it is not only I overspend in money terms, but in actually everything I do. For example, I spend too much time on things or projects or my writing than is necessary. I have observed, there is a point that I get to feel, ok that is complete for this moment, but I over-ride that and continue to work on…. which is unproductive and wasting time (wasting my energy) because it was already complete. And I got to feel why I overspend… still lurking underneath was I am not enough, if you are not enough, you have to give more. But I am on to this now…… I am enough, and I am done with giving out too much!
I love the angles you are putting light to regarding money. How it all comes back to us, how much we value ourselves. What I realized reading your blog, I do like when things get repaired and it is “ok” for me to pay for it, but it is not as much joy as buying a jacket for example. You said: I felt more joy paying for my car service than I’ve felt buying a gorgeous dress or piece of jewellery.
I like that, because you are appreciating your own care for yourself. Thanks for inspiring me to appreciate my loving choices, that I always done, more and don´t see it as less amazing expense.
Thank you . From this I realise how much my attitude towards the cars that I drive has changed. I used to care only if the engine worked well, if the outside was rusty or looked a bit rough it didn’t matter, or at least that is what I said. I actually feel that I did care back then it is just that I didn’t feel I could have both. Like wise there has been an underlying belief that it is what is inside a person that counts so if I look scruffy it doesn’t matter: a way to justify my disregard. Nowadays I regularly wash my car and have it serviced and I am much more caring about myself and the way I present myself to the world on a regular basis not to be recognised or make a good impression but for my own sense of well being.
What a great revelation Elaine! I love it too cleaning my car, what I did yesterday and going regularly to the services needed. It feels like tidying up – comparable with cleaning my house. And YES, both is possible 🙂
This is gorgeous Katerina. I have had a similar relationship with money, using it for comfort and a false sense of power and being in control. I have wasted a lot of money! I have been running from my finances for awhile now and it is time to be responsible and not be in ignorance of what I may discover. It does feel lovely when I spend my money in a way that supports me. Sometimes I can get into the trap of feeling resentful about committing my money to something that is actually very supportive and a long-term investment.
A great blog on how when you value yourself, then your relationship with money changes beyond recognition, no matter how big the decision, or how much money you have got.
“Committing to looking after me, and using my finances to support this” – Yes responsibility with money – I love this.
“…that I trusted myself more. It was as if I could hear and feel a warm and steady foundation in me that knew that, provided I take responsibility, I would be looked after, because I was making the choice to take care of myself first” – what a profound understanding and awesome way to choose to live!
Katerina, reading your blog for me at this moment in time is “priceless” as my position at work has been made redundant and I am wondering what’s next. And like you, until recently my relationship with money has always been fraught with anxiety. But even though my new job has not appeared, as yet, I am feeling very little anxiousness as a result of taking the time to understand, not only my relationship with money, but my relationship with myself; a priceless relationship that is the foundation of my life.
Holding myself as precious, with this as a starting point, it allows me to only purchase something that has that same quality of preciousness. I like that – and something to ponder on.
That’s beautiful. Holding ourselves as precious… When you put it like that, it challenges how I live each day and my choices moment to moment.
Self-worth and money go hand in hand, either in a disturbing way like you describe from your past behaviour and set of self-beliefs or in a true way, that holding myself as precious allows me to feel confident with life and pecuniary affairs and so my choices will be honouring and reasonable.
I’ve had a similar experience in designing my house. Do I want quantity or do I want quality? I’ve had to realise that quality is what I want and it is only quality never quantity that truly supports me, and so it costs a certain amount. It is actually very freeing to come to this revelation; it’s all about self worth and nothing about the money itself.
Do I want quantity or do I want quality? Great question Suzanne. I too choose for quality as I can feel also how it is quality that truly supports me, not quantity. It is all related to self-worth and a feeling of knowing you deserve.
Great question Suzanne, “Do I want quantity or do I want quality?”… this is one that as a family we are asking more and more. Especially when it comes to what we want for ourselves in a house… once we would have cut corners or gone ‘that will do’ its in the right neighbourhood or is the right price… but no more. It either has everything that supports us or we just keep looking.
Interesting to bring attention to this link “What I came to realise was that my relationship with money had a huge amount to do with how I saw myself and how I would treat myself” I got me pondering my relationship with money, I appreciated that it has also improved and become more stable through my gaining more self worth and appreciation, for me just being me. In the past I would almost throw it away as soon as a I got it, now I save much more and I appreciate spending it on different things that support me.
Thank you Katerina, for taking me deeper in my own relationship with money and the way I choose to see it in my life. As I was reading your blog many images, choices and beliefs around money started to come up. it is so empowering to feel into a purchase, activity or service and then to make the choices. Taking loving to another level.
thanks Katerina. Thats an amazing market for spending our money wisely when we go out into the shops 😀 I go out clothes shopping quite a bit and lately I have been trying on some items, half heartedly and with the ideal in my mind that “I need to buy SOMEthing” I line up at the register.. and then I become fully aware, hang on.. I’m just buying this out of sympathy, i don’t REALLY need this or even like this. So at the very last second I have backed out of a purchase and it felt great to say no at that point. but saying that When I buy some things that do feel true there is not one ounce of anxiousness in sight and I don’t mind spending the money at all.
Yes Harry it can be easy to get carried away and not listen to our inner knowing.
Your blog reminds me of all the amazing lessons that are on offer everyone and all the time but we only see them when we are open to tuning into them. Thank you for sharing your one with the car.
Thank you Katerina for sharing how you’ve experienced using the feeling in your body to gauge in the quality of a product/service that you may or may not place your finances into. Lately I have found that if I am not present with my body while food shopping for instance when I get it home I often either 1. completely forget about it until it turns into a science project in the fridge 2. eat it then feel horrible (Or sometimes it hangs around and I only seem to ‘remember’ it’s in the cupboard when I feel low or emotional and craving a numbing food – a set up for things to come possibly?) or 3. something happens where I end up dropping it on the floor or put it into something I am cooking and end up throwing the whole batch out because it now doesn’t feel right or taste right. All of this from not going to the body in that moment of purchase! But when I do shop by feel I am reminded and supported each time I interact with that item and it does make sense to me to repeat that choice.
Great blog Katerina. There is so much held around money and finances that I feel I am only truly beginning to understand. It is a relationship as you say and looking at the quality of that relationship has been incredibly powerful for me. I have changed so much around money and how I am with it and I am continue to deepen this relationship and my way with it through the support of someone who is an expert in this area.
Penny I just today reached out to a financial expert and I was amazed at how nervous and unsure I was. I realised I was expecting myself to know and understand the ins and outs of money and finances. I definitely need to work on how I am with myself and money but how supportive it is to call on someone who can help along the way.
When I first sought the support of an expert in this area much came up for me too. I wanted to hide some aspects of my finances for fear of being judged and realised I held shame around not knowing how to do money in truth on my own. It was then that I realised that shame was part of my issue with money and that working with this expert would help uncover the other areas in which I held money with fear, judgement or shame. It was also then that I realised that I don’t have to know how to do everything myself and that support and guidance are actually part of a bigger healing in all areas of my life.
Aimee in the past few years I have been sole keeper of my finances and it has been interesting to seek advice and support, but still remain in the conversation and be informed without loosing myself and handing all my power over, after all I choose to feel which direction and what I invest in as that can entail more than just the bottom line.
Katerina, I have long been aware that I have an anxiousness around money. A difficulty in spending money on myself. Sometimes I can feel that I am literally stuck in a shop in my indecision as to whether or not to buy something. I also have another thread running about money and that is, hating to ‘waste’ it. This is shifting however. As I build more love in my body by making more loving choices I am finding it easier to relax around money and spend money on myself more easily. I am getting to feel that it is my relationship with myself that sets everything else in motion.
This is true Alexis. I too have been indecisive about buying things for myself but the more we develop a loving relationship with ourselves the less the money is an issue. Money can then be used in a more loving way.
So true James and a timely reminder that; ‘how we treate ourselves in one area effects all other areas or our life’s’, and all areas of our lives are equally important.
This is a great blog Katerina, I have noticed the same thing!
When I check what quality I am buying things in then it’s easy to know if what I am buying is going to support me or not. I love all of what you said and I also can recognise how you enjoyed paying for your car service just as much as buying clothes and jewellery is like me when I am buying something like car fuel, is just as great as going shopping and buying clothes etc.
I hadn’t thought of that arieljoymuntelwit, buying car fuel to be a joyful experience! But I can feel indeed it is 🙂
When I was younger, I would put in just enough fuel to get me from A to B, or up to a fixed amount. The difference I feel when I take a bit more time at the pump to fill it to the top, and then know the car is ready for wherever it needs to go was a mini transformation. The additional cost is actually negligible (I’m not driving any further), but the feeling of abundance is very real!
I love filling my car up with fuel, it’s sounds funny but I always feel like I’m giving it a big drink and it supports the car and us. There is no worry of running out of fuel or dirt being pumped through the rest of the engine.
I agree, this is a great blog Ariel and I like what you say about buying car fuel. Its buying or stocking up on energy isnt it, what a great way to look at how we are supporting ourselves, not as something separate from any other transaction we may make with money but a part of keeping our whole life running efficiently, smoothly and lovingly. Something to appreciate more.
Wow arieljoymuntelwit that is inspirational for me because buying something like a car fuel is not a joyful thing to do. I have to admit that I do not like to refuel the tank at all but now I am looking forward to the next tank stop!
Well said Ariel, as I am spending a lot of money on petrol these days, I make sure I appreciate that I do have the money to buy the fuel needed, and I also make sure I enjoy my drive with me. I appreciate that I can be so mobile and get around comfortably to wherever I need to be. If I resent it, it feels horrible and not honouring of myself.
Yes its definitely something to appreciate Esther, to have a car and be able to fill it up. I have found it a burden in the past but lately, the car expenses have felt less of a burden as I know the investment supports me.
That’s an interesting point, arieljoymuntlewit putting petrol in the car is a lot of money and it was always with dread I would look at the near empty gauge and judge if I had enough.
I have recently bought a new car after four years of justification that my old one was fine, after all with hail, and the ruff roads up here… Stepping into that new car unleashed a lot of old beliefs around indulgence and being worthy and it took a lot to allow myself to feel I could accept this level of self care and support. I totally feel supported and it’s a far cry from what I realise was such holding back, not just with the car but in many areas in my life. After all the car represents our body…
Thanks for your blog Katerina. It made me realize that decisions involving money need to be made with the same love and honouring of self as any of the other choices we make on a daily basis.
Well said Peter, “decisions involving money need to be made with the same love and honouring of self as any of the other choices we make on a daily basis”. How we treat ourselves in one area effects all other areas of our life’s.
Well said James, that feels very true.
Thanks Peter, a lovely reminder: It made me realize that decisions involving money need to be made with the same love and honouring of self as any of the other choices we make on a daily basis.
Well said Peter. I have known this about money, but not heard it articulated so clearly before.
Hello Katerina, I really enjoyed your article about money and it gives me a different perspective on the matter
Well said Joe for when another shares the truth from their angle and understanding we all learn.
Hi Katerina, there were definitely elements of this blog I totally related to in regard to my own behaviour around money, thanks for the clarity you bring and the prompt to keep feeling.
Katerina this was just lovely to read and a great reminder to explore my attitudes and behaviours with money. Making every purchase about the choice to nurture and take care of myself first is something I will take with me the next time I spend.
Yes Samantha, appreciating and honouring each exchange . . whether buying vegetables, a new dress, or a car.
Thanks Katerina, what a great article on money and the relationship we have with it. Its amazing how we use money to buy things to make us feel better if we are down, needy or looking for fulfillment. I definitely can relate to this I have in the past bought things from the wrong impulse and then came home after the initial buzz and not felt better but in fact worse as I have let my self down financially, by giving all that money away instead of keeping it as a nurturing process. I feel we can all discover much about ourselves by the way we are with money .
True Greg Jordan. How we treat and live with ourselves on a daily basis is very much being reflected in how we spend money. I can remember too having spend money on something my eyes liked (and was expensive too), I experienced a moment of glamour ‘look it me’, but then when I returned home, I would feel empty with it. Since I have come to myself and feel connected to myself everyday, I can feel that the quality of my choices, also with money, has changed. I love to spend money now, as I feel free to spend money on myself, as I know I am feeling my worth, I no longer regret or buy things that do not feel good in my body. Like you said Katerina, the more we are listening to body when making choices, the more honest and loving we can be with ourselves.
Like your comment, Danna, I also have bought so many things that did not really support me and feel very good afterwards. I made the experience, when I am in love with myself and buy things to appreciate myself, care for myself or look after myself, this feels so completely different! I just love spending money then because I deeply feel what I need and buying something feels amazing.
This is what I am discovering Greg that the way I am with money, or that my relationship with money is showing me how I am in other areas of my life. Spot on.
This is such an interesting discussion because it reveals that everything is related and affects everything else, so while we ‘think’ we are compartmentalising our lives and one area doesn’t affect another, invariably it does!
So true Greg, I have experienced this too. It is very supportive to be more aware of our relationship with money, as it is a reflection of how we are with ourselves and the world. Learning to purchasing items from a place of nurture and love instead of need, I find this to be a great awareness to build on.
Wow this was awesome and really supportive to read, I know that I still get anxious around money and need to look at this. What you said here made me realise that I do this quite a bit instead of valuing myself ‘It was all about the quality I was in when I was deciding what to do with my money or how to spend my money. If I felt inadequate and didn’t want to feel this, I would often smother that feeling by buying something. The trouble was, I would be making the purchase in the quality of feeling unworthy and even though I might have been getting a bit of a buzz initially, deep down I would still feel pretty low about myself.’
Beautiful blog Katerina! You introduce two great things here. The need to check the quality we are in when we make decisions that have something to do with pleasures (clothing and beyond). The other great point is that as we check on us and act accordingly we build trust in ourselves.
‘provided I take responsibility, I would be looked after, because I was making the choice to take care of myself first’. Perfect and timely reminder for me today!
I have felt a shift in me around money and the ability to let it go when truly needed – previously I was the same as you Katerina always feeling an anxiousness around being able to manage what I had. I love taking responsibility for myself and there always seems to be enough money to be able to do that just by trusting.
An inspiring blog – Katerina! I never made the link between anxiety, self-worth and my money issues. Through you sharing, this matter has been highlighted and I love the truth that lies within this for me. Especially the overacting in business because of anxiousness of loosing money or the job – instead of feeling my preciousness first – and let it reign over all.
I guess many people have an issue with money, although they might be very different. Your example is brilliant and shows a loving way how to imprint a new way to purchase things, clothes etc.
A beautiful revelation Katerina, with our relationship with money. It is amazing what can be reveled if we are honest with the intention of why we spending our money and what it is being spent on. There will always be a ‘flow’ to money if we are responsible and doing what truly ‘supports’ us.
Thanks Katerina there is so much here in your blog I relate to. I have also had a difficult relationship with money and an unexplained fear of being destitute and/or of some disastrous consequences happening. And this has resulted in a lot of anxiety, control and has made life much more stiff and less fun and playful. I can really see now how much this is linked to my self worth and connection with myself, so thanks for making the link.
What a blessing it is to read this blog again. I have found I go into a whole range of justifications when it comes to spending money but the truth is so simple. Just listen to my body, if I am feeling anxious and a purchase I am considering does not feel like it is caring and supportive – don’t buy it. Priceless indeed and this awesome blog is a very gorgeous and supportive gift – free to all.
Thank you Katarina for an awesome blog, I found this very supportive in developing a more honest relationship with money. In the past I used to spend money as a distraction to not feel the misery I was living in, I’m now developing more trust and awareness when it comes to spending on things that truly support me and it feels awesome.
Hi Katerina, love what you have shared in your blog, I can relate to similar experiences with money. Still working on this area of my life and taking more responsibility with my finances and how my self worth has been tied up with money for so long. Learning to shift out of these old patterns is empowering and reading your blog is a lovely support and very timely.
Amazing to read Katerina. I am inspired by the care you take to feel into if you need what you about to buy. That feels really honouring of myself to also go and integrate that into my life. I feel I have been ‘sitting’ on my money, and every time I spend any of it, it feels like I am wasting it. So I am realising now I may have to feel more how what I am spending my money for is really taking care of me and that that is not a waste at all!
Lots of people can relate to a sense of this, I’m sure; I can say the feeling of anxiety around money has been profound at times too. The tendency to contract further when feeling an uncomfortable feeling to do with money, just makes things worse (like then working in contraction and fear at work or in business for example) – all leads to poorer performance and really unhappy work days. With building trust that regardless of what comes-up ahead of us, we’re completely equipped to deal with it, makes for a much more fluid experience and feeling on the matter.
Great blog Katerina, as you reveal so much about how our beliefs about money shape and reflect the way that we can live. I too can connect to having lived this way in the past and it was not until I made the choice to commit to myself through choosing full-time employment (a very self-loving choice after years of working casually) did my feelings of insecurity around money begin to shift. It makes so much sense to me that by beginning to develop a true relationship with ourselves (through making self-loving choices) that we begin to develop a true relationship with money. As money like all things is an energy that responds as you say to the quality which we are in when we use it.
Absolutely Jade. It’s not money that is the root of all evil at all. I can feel it is our lack of responsibility with money which comes from a lack of responsibility with ourselves.
Spot on Jade and katerina, money is not the issue here , the lack of it is just a reflection of the lack of commitment that is there in someone’s life. Commit to life and oneself in whichever way possible and money will flow, it just is.
Great blog, I could really relate to using money to fill an emptiness, but never truly evaluating if I was using money to support and provide what I needed in a loving way. I really appreciate all that’s written here as it’s the first blog I have come across on this topic and really wonderful to explore this for the first time. Thankyou.
Amazing blog Katerina! It’s amazing how so many of us have an underlying fear of becoming destitute and as a result of that we have a lot of anxiety about money. What you have described is so awesome, when you knew that you were buying something to nurture and take care of yourself, than there was no anxiousness. And no guilt after buying it.
Thats so awesome what you share, Katerina!! It is not about the things we purchase and the value we put onto them for us, but the value we have for ourselves and that what we purchase is part of our care and love for ourselves. I always felt so similar, I found it harder to pay the electricity bill than for clothes, but today I honor everything that supports me in my nurturing and I love to pay for those little “invisible” things that support me in this.
Over the years through making more self loving choices my relationship to money and how I spend it has changed a lot. I too used to have a lot of anxiety about money of not having enough and not really knowing how to spent it ‘wisely’. But through taking more loving care of myself spending money has become a part of these loving choices and not so much a holding tight or having duels in my head whether or not and for what, I allow myself to spend money on.
I can very much relate to shopping for distraction when I don’t really need the item. And then the anxiousness of having to return it before the 28 days are up. Or feeling guilty that I bought it when it would have been more loving to spend the money on something that would support me.
I’m realising more and more what a direct relationship there is between our finances and spending habits and our sense of worth. If I’m not feeling good about myself it’s easy to try and make for how I feel with a shopping fix. But the more i reconnect to my true sense of worth I’m noticing that they way I use money is changing dramatically. I use money to support me and not to relieve me from the doldrums of life — because in feeling our true sense of worth there are no doldrums 🙂
Great blog Katerina. I can relate to what you say about money being a reflection in the way we value ourselves. I have often gone and splurged money on something that was not necessary or supportive for myself (an unhealthy meal/food or impractical piece of clothing), and then been been resentful towards paying for something that I do need (rent, bills, etc.). I will definitely be looking more closely at the quality in which I purchase things in future to really feel whether I am investing in myself or not.
Wow! I could relate to everything that you wrote Katerina. Such a simple awareness – a dedication to committing to looking after ourselves and using our finances to support this. Beautiful!
I just loved reading your blog Katerina, so insightful thank you.
Next time I take my car to the mechanic I will ponder on, and be inspired by, your blog.
I will remember your words of wisdom:
“It was the dedication I could feel to committing to looking after me, and using my finances to support this. And that, is priceless”
Awesome blog Katerina, what you said here “I came to realise was that my relationship with money had a huge amount to do with how I saw myself and how I would treat myself”. I can relate to this very well. Recently I have been feeling a sense of detachment with money with that comes a trusting feeling that things will always work out. This gives me the ability to not get into anxiety or stress but from an approach of knowing I can change my financial situation any time.
Thanks for expanding on what we all know on one level but for taking it to a deeper level. I often hear around me (and I have partaken in it as well) the term ‘retail therapy’ and that when things are a bit off/down/angry/sad etc….we will go out and buy a new something to make ourselves feel better….shopping malls are built and made on this premise! And whilst we may recognise it on one level, there is much deeper at play here and that we often purchase to allay an anxiety and if we truly did -stop-connect-feel – would we want to keep that purchase that was bought in that feeling?? And I am pretty sure we know the answer to be no because so much of what we buy ends up in the op shops. Thanks for sharing your experiences about money and exploring a different way to be with it.
An awesome blog Katerina thank you, you have so clearly shown how mixed up our relationship with money can be, and the fact there is a true relationship to be had. I can very much relate to what you’ve shared, using money in the past to feel better about myself, but often spending too much when I had a bit more of a ‘cushion’, and then skimping when things got tight. Today it is quite different and I rarely go to either extreme, but do still see remnants of that pattern try to creep in on occasion, if I allow it.
Thank you Katerina for this beautiful article. The joy you express is really inspiring. I can very well relate to many aspects and am left with a beautiful amount of things to ponder on for today.
So many insights about how we relate to money and to our self here. I relate to so much of what you have written and have also come away with loads to ponder on. How supportive would it be if such an article was used in education to explore and develope an understanding.
Beautifully inspiring article, it makes me feel that I have not always felt into what to buy from my money, and how I can appreciate and makes purchases that are truly caring for myself
Thank you for shedding light on the way we spend our money –your example reminds me of how carelessly and lovelessly we deal with other people when the money we pay them for a service or goods is handed over carelessly and lovelessly, or with self-loathing and disdain, or with the sentiment of having been hard done by. It shows and everybody can feel it, but it is as though we don’t want to own up to the fact that it is how we treat each other – all the while pretending that it doesn’t matter.
I too have noticed my relationship with money change as my relationship with myself has changed from one of self-loathing to self-love. I am now so very aware of the quality I am in when shopping and can make more loving choices about where I spend my money. And it’s true that the fear of not having money does not have such a strong grip anymore. This is definitely a different and much needed approach to our relationship with money.
Great post, Katerina and a timely one for me!
I love how you’ve expressed that it all comes back to the quality we’re in.
It’s so easy to look at money as something ‘separate’ to ourselves, something that we have to get and hold onto so that we don’t end up, as you say, ‘destitute!’
It’s this underlying, but constant, threat that, given the right circumstances, ‘it could all go wrong and I’d end up with nothing’.
What I’m learning is that trusting myself to build a life of commitment, dedication and quality in the love I inherently am, allows all else to flow.
This is an amazingly supportive blog Katerina, my relationship with money continues to develop as I learn where it is that I am valuing myself too; also I am more aware of the self-empowerment that comes in knowing and choosing exactly what is nurturing (or not) to purchase for myself and to trust in the big purchases I am making to support myself, my work, my studies and my every way of living.
“What I came to realise was that my relationship with money had a huge amount to do with how I saw myself and how I would treat myself..” – I’ve seen this as well, how we are feeling about ourselves and life can make such big difference to the way in which we spend.
This is true Fiona, the more content I feel within myself, the less I need to spend money on things to distract me.
Thank you Katerina for sharing your experiences and wisdom, like many others I can really relate to what you have expressed. I am so aware of making loving nurturing choices, around spending money, with what will support and evolve me, it is certainly a work in progress.
Great blog Katerina, I can relate to everything you say. Something that is also helping me to become less anxious about money was hearing Serge Benhayon present that the purpose of money is not for us to hang on to it and accumulate more and more of it for ourselves, but to continually recirculate it.
Thank you for writing this blog Katerina, it made me also ponder about my relationship with money. How I experience money and how I go about it reflects a lot of my inner state of being.
For me the way I earn money reflects a lot to me. How is the income flow, is it steady or does it fluctuate. Is there abundance or a shortage? It shows me if I am steady and consistent or not, am I connected with the whole or do I live a life of not feeling enough. How I value myself and how I appreciate my feeling of self worth is reflected in what rate or salary do I allow myself to earn.
Another subject about money I experience is the fact that I used to worry a lot about having enough money, although in my adult life I have not ever have experienced a shortage of it. In other words I do not have any factual experience of having not enough money myself, but I know my parents did had a shortage sometimes and worried a lot about it. So could it be that, although my parents did never spoke openly about any of their problems with me when I was a child, that I have felt the energy of the worry and related it unconsciously to myself and to my relationship with money?
This blog is priceless Katerina… and was just lovely to re-read. I became aware this morning that my relationship with money has changed, mainly because I have more trust in myself and so much more self- appreciation, which means I do not doubt my self- value or self worth like I did in the past.
Katerina what a great post which I can relate to, and loved how you now shop feeling the potential purchase in your body. I have felt this too, the expanse you describe, and equally the reverse – ending up never really wearing or enjoying the item, or something happens to it to make it unwearable and I throw it out. What a waste – of everything! Stop. Feel. Purchase – ought to be the ad slogan for effective shopping ha ha!
I love that one Zofia — that should really be the ad slogan in shopping centres: Stop – Feel – Purchase or Walk Away in Love 🙂
I can relate also. Stop, feel, purchase or not. Instead of buying without actually feeling myself, looking into my eyes in the mirror, standing fully in myself and letting go of all the ideals etc that tell me ‘you should be like this, you would impress someone with this item, or it doesn’t really matter whether it is right, anything will do’. This blog really illustrates the importance of being in the right energy when purchasing anything, the ‘right energy’ being the energy of my essence.
I’m with you too Zofia – Stop. Feel. Purchase – love this! Like Katerina, I have a long history of anxiousness around money, which has changed enormously and yet still a way to go. It is all about quality for me now – the quality of what I am spending my money on and the quality in how I am spending it.
Such a cool blog… very supportive…. This all starts to expose so much about our relationship with money. There is lots to ponder on here….thank you.
I have been having a difficult relationship with money for quite some time. I am not earning as much as I would like to and this makes me feel anxious. Like you say, I was feeling how I valued myself, and what I brought into my work -place had a lot to do with it, but I hadn’t quite got to the trust bit you mentioned, which makes a lot of sense about where I am currently at. I am inspired. Thank you.
Thank you for drawing the parallel between buying things with a sense of unworthiness of self and the consequent anxiety and lack of enjoyment; it really makes sense and explains why shopping as of itself doesn’t solve any problems and doesn’t increase one’s self-worth.
I really notice the difference between when I am shopping and feeling connected with how I am feeling – there is a smooth flow, and items seem to jump off the rail… no struggle. Whereas if I feel disconnected then it can be a slow torture, nothing is quite right and each shop seems to be lacking anything suitable. Rather than blaming the outside world for this, I’ve realised it has much more to do with how I am feeling!
Powerful blog Katerina. I am looking at my relationship with money and this blog is very supportive, thank you.
What a great realisation Katerina and what a wonderful marker to hold all purchases to..is it supporting and is it true or not.
Hi Katerina, I’ve been meaning to read this blog for a while and now I have, I realise why! It’s amazing how our relationship with money exposes so much about the way we are with ourselves and yet it all comes back to the body knowing all along what is truly of support for us or not. I loved the way you described that expansive feeling in your body when you made a joyful and confirming choice that endorsed your true worth….that resounding ‘Yes!’ It also resonated deeply when you wrote, “It was as if I could hear and feel a warm and steady foundation in me that knew that, provided I take responsibility, I would be looked after, because I was making the choice to take care of myself first.” Very beautiful to feel that. Thank you, Katerina.
Katerina, I relate to what you are saying here. It is inspirational to understand the way I sometimes shop just for distraction or recognition instead of feeling what truly supports.
This is great Katerina! I also feel guilt when spending money I have work for yet mustn’t feel worthy to spend due to fear of loss. Very much looking forward to experimenting with this new way of shopping from the body. Can feel the ease and flow there already.
Money is a huge anxiety starter for me…pretty much the way you have explained it. I wouldn’t want to look at things so I would buy something to distract me.. .then have that guilt for buying it afterwards. Now I have a question from your blog to ask myself before I buy anything: ‘is this going to be supporting me or not?’ Love it.
Brilliant blog – and well expressed Katerina…I can relate to much of what you have shared here – thank you….
A beautiful blog Katerina. I relate very well to what you share here and have noticed how my relationship with money has and continues to change. Thank you for sharing.
Great blog Katerina, and it’s so opportune to be reading it. I’ve been looking at my relationship with money recently and feeling how much it’s changed and is still changing. In the past it was very easy come, easy go, I didn’t really value it, or me and almost disdained it, a great reflection for my own self-distain. Now it’s changed, it’s easier as I take more care of myself, I’m easier with money, less needy. That feeling you get when you buy something that’s truly nurturing is just amazing, I’ve felt it on some recent shopping trips and it’s been amazing – I got what I needed based on how it felt and I’ve loved wearing it and the feel of it since. And you’re right, living any other way with money does indeed create an anxiousness and nervous tension in the body and of course means we’re not all there with where we are and what we’re doing, it really does affect so much.
It is ‘priceless’, I have been coming to realise that our relationship with money has so much to show us about how we relate to the world and also how we value, give ourselves worth. It is interesting to look at how we spend money and that can be a confirmation and celebration. A lovely experience shared in this article – Thank you.
This has been my experience also Samantha… I’ve also realised that the relationship I have with myself directly impacts the relationship I have had (and am now developing) with money, and that the more I commit to truly taking care of myself and working on my self worth (which essentially for me has simply been working on reconnecting back to who I naturally am), the more supportive my relationship with money is becoming. There are still moments of resistance for me and stuff that comes up around money, but the more I commit to just being me, the more these moments are getting less and less…
Thank you for sharing Katerina, I have felt the same as you and know how easy it can be to spend money on things that I dont really need and then get anxious about it afterwards; knowing that it doesn’t support me and effectively I have wasted money and/or could have bought something way more supportive for me. I have also found it challenging at times to spend money on me on really supportive things as often they are not necessary but do make a big difference. Like some really warm thermals or a lovely warm jacket – the extra warmth I get from them allows me to stay more relaxed in my body and less tense – I tend to feel the cold very easily!
I recently spent £80 on getting the car valeted, what a treat, the car came back absolutely gleaming inside and out, looking better than it ever has since we bought it. This was a case of doing something that was to turn out to be supportive for the whole family. A few years back I would never had dreamed of spending so much on getting the car cleaned, as it is something I would prefer to do myself and save the cash. It was money well spent and will be something I will invest in more often.
This is so interesting to read Katerina, ‘It was the dedication I could feel to committing to looking after me, and using my finances to support this. And that, is priceless’, a lot to ponder on here, thank you.
I can relate to what you say about having your car serviced. I recently put my car in to be repaired while I was away for a week. The heating wasn’t working and now it is blowing out warm air again, which I feel is so supportive during the UK winter months.
Fabulous article Katerina. I feel the relationship we have with money and our own self-worth to be so revealing, as you have shared. I am in the process of throwing away lots of clothes and buying ones that feel more like me and yet I can still waver towards what something looks like or what someone else thinks is right for me – I am slowly learning to be uncompromising in my truth. I also feel that what Alison has shared is so important because it shows how arrogance can lurk under some of our purchase decisions – “I can see how I did not truly value myself and what I was buying and how it would support me, it was just about what money could bring me”.
Hi Katerina. I can relate to the anxiousness you speak of in your workplace. I have been noticing lately that I was buying things to make me feel better, even groceries, I would buy too much and be anxious that I had to use it by the use by date. This is starting to change and what you said about feeling the start of the anxiousness while you were actually shopping is something for me to look at.
Money is a huge topic and can bring up issues that we don’t always know we have. I was reflecting on my relationship with money after reading your article Katerina, and while I don’t have anxiety around money I can see I have used it to control what goes on around me, I have used it to hide and protect myself and to make my life ‘better’ and more comfortable. I would always shop around for a bargain and see if I could get something for less than the price offered. If I relate that to my life I can see how I did not truly value myself and what I was buying and how it would support me, it was just about what money could bring to me.
Great blog Katerina about such an important topic – money. I have also had a lot of anxiety around money and an unfounded and disproportionate fear of being destitute. I loved what you wrote here about the different intentions we can spend money with. This has shed a lot of light on my ongoing attitude towards money.
This is a great topic to explore and I feel already that I am opening to some new understandings. Thank you so much for sharing this Katerina.
Me too Elaine, I hadn’t before really considered the link between how I think about money and how I think about myself, not in the way that Katerina describes here, nor the link between fear and anxiety at work which is very familiar to me, and how I shop. It feels like a new beginning, like the start of a whole new way of looking at things, one that will unfold and reveal a lot.
Katerina, thank you for sharing, this article resonates deeply with me. I have lived for many years in the same anxiety – doing anything to avoid destitution. However, since meeting Serge Benhayon I too have found that the more I accept myself as being more than enough, I have come to understand that money actually has a flow as it passes in and out of my account. And I have come to understand that the rhythm of this flow is something I have a direct relationship with – it does not just happen to me. As I expand in myself as a person and let people in to my life, the money is there and my family have what they need. When I close myself down in protection and keep people out, the flow of money seems to stagnate or stop all together, and we as a family are struggling to get by. the key here as I have learnt, is to not depend on money for security. My inner strength and knowing that I can handle every situation I am presented with, is all the security I need.
Thank you Katerina for sharing about your money life. I would say this was my biggest issue and has been around for a long time. I had a lot of money and was trashing it so fast and ended up with a ton of debt and then after meeting Serge Benhayon and learning about what True Responsibility is, I found that me taking deep care of myself and honouring what I feel will lead to a change in my relationship with money.
Well it has – I now have a life of true responsibility which is a life of true consistency. What I mean is that I am consistently looking after me and saying what I feel and this helps. Having been a serious shopaholic, I have little desire to shop now and in fact I only buy what I feel supports me and I don’t have that ‘need’ to fill up the emptiness inside me, which was really just a distraction. I am quite surprised how little I actually own today in material stuff. It’s a totally new way for me and I love the simplicity of it.
Katerina. Your blog bought back so many memories. I remember when I got my first mortgage, I suddenly went into a panic mode on how would I keep up the payments each month, along with utilities bills that would also arrive. All I needed was to trust myself to do the right thing in a positive manner, and it would be fine. Over many years now it has been a great help to me.
I find it amazing how much I can let money rule my life. I have and still do definitely have issues around money and that destitute mentality where I worry about running out and for me this is a work in progress. It is great to read of the trust you are placing in buying things that are supportive and how this is developing a positive relationship with money.
Thank you Katerina. It is wonderful to feel the strong foundations you are building by re-defining your relationship with money, and also the joy in honouring yourself with what you feel is true, and how that feeds you back.
Hi Katerina, expressing in this blog the difference between the anxiety and joyfulness of spending money is really helpful because I am sure this is a big issue for many. I can feel that anxiousness when I have spent money on something my body doesn’t want or truly need. I will pay more attention to how I feel when I spend money on the things that truly nurture me. Thanks.
I so enjoyed your blog Katerina. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. I know some of it I definitely resonate with.
Awesome sharing Katerina, you have explained very clearly what goes on for me also around money, going into fear and contraction when I spend it.
I love how you shared about feeling into weather it was supportive or not to buy something or not and how you let that be your true guide.
Thank you.
I spent 23 years believing I could not pay rent, so “making do” in many compromising and transient situations…A year ago I rented my first really nice supportive place and not only have I been pulling it off but I have LOVED paying my rent every single month! This is so huge and its all about valuing myself and doing it because I know the support I receive from this choice is worth every penny.
Thank you Katerina, for your very informative and useful guide. I imagine that
anxiety is always present in some form or another where purchases are concerned.
The realisation that purchases made in the wrong sort of energy, i.e. non-sustaining
or nurturing, give very limited respite from the very nagging anxiety that they were supposed to supplant, is a wonderful revelation.
I enjoyed very much your expression Katerina. It is very inspiring.
Very inspiring Katerina. I could relate to a lot of what you said in your blog. It is something for me to look at. Thank you.
Thank you Katerina, an inspiring post to look at our relationship with ourself and money.
Well said, Ariana. This is a great practical wisdom…spending money to avoid our feelings is something I can certainly relate to, so great to have it ‘outed’ some more in this wonderful blog.
Thanks Katerina I really enjoyed your blog and it reminded me to once again look at my relationship with money. I used to always be buying something to fill a hole, which I haven’t had to do now for a number of years, but I still never seem to be able to save. Something for me to look at.
Katerina, as I read your post I recognised myself. How you turned things around is inspiring, thank you for sharing.
Katerina, I love how you have re-defined your relationship with money and with your self. What an awesome feeling you describe.
This is ‘priceless’, thank you so much Katerina. I bet most of humanity has a struggle in their relationship with money and themselves – I have had it all my life too. It is beautiful to read how you have changed this around to be a supportive way to celebrate you – I especially love… “It was as if I could hear and feel a warm and steady foundation in me that knew that, provided I take responsibility, I would be looked after, because I was making the choice to take care of myself first”.
Oh my gosh Katerina, when I first read this, I felt like the words were coming directly from me! You have captured in essence exactly how I have felt towards money and purchasing habits. So reading how you have turned around how you feel towards money and how you purchase is truly inspiring – thank you!!!
That’s awesome Katerina. Thanks.
I realise I have gone though similar stages in my life, at one point having lots of money but spending it all trying to fill the hole of unhappiness I was feeling inside of me that I couldn’t work out. Then seriously rejecting that and ‘blaming money’ as the issue and creating a lifestyle that seemed ‘free’ by having not much money and lots of time to do what I wanted, but on top of that still feeling the same emptiness as before… everything became a struggle (fixing the car, going to the dentist when I needed). Anything that popped up unexpectedly would cause me such anxiety – and in fact my ‘simple uncomplicated life’ that was supposed to be worry free – was actually always weighted deep down with an underlying anxiousness of uncertainty around money.
“Taking care of myself” for me now also includes having a great budget and plan that I really enjoy – and I now also really enjoy going to work as it has become a lovely extension of me nurturing and looking after myself.
I love your cheeky little line at the end! So true!
You articulated that with such clarity and simplicity Katerina. I well know exactly what you’re talking about and have often spent money out of a need to fill a void or as a distraction from seeing, feeling or doing the things that truly matter. Thank you for bringing this to the fore… a timely reminder indeed.
I loved your post Katerina. So often we decide that we are not worth spending money on, but in truth, when we stop and feel what we truly need, then it’s easy to spend that money on ourselves because we know it’s not just to cover up another feeling. Thank you.
I love your writing Katerina. Our relationship with money is a vast subject, and you’ve made it all actually very, very simple. Listen to ourselves, feel, be super-honest – and we can’t help but see all of our habits and patterns. The trick is, in honouring what we feel – and that is the true beauty and blessing of all that you’ve shared. Joyfully, thank you.
I enjoyed this article and will stop to consider more deeply where I am at when spending money, thank you.
Thank you Katerina for your wonderful post. I especially liked how you stop to feel before your purchase… it’s a great reminder for me. 🙂
I, like you Katerina, now enjoy paying my bills, yet only a short while ago hated it. This has changed for me as I can feel how great it feels to spend money on things that truly support me.
I enjoyed very much reading your post Katerina. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for your blog Katerina. I have struggled I must admit with the whole ‘feeling into’ things and your explanation of how you do it was really enlightening for me. So simple (like all esoteric healing)! And one I am confident I will be able to do from now on. This will make a big difference in my life (and no doubt my mechanic’s)!
Thank you, Katerina, I enjoyed the simplicity and clarity expressed in this to me very helpful blog. I have quite often made mistakes around purchasing clothes in particular but also other things; I am gradually learning to recognise the energy I am doing the purchasing in — the need for a distraction or to express something not being expressed elsewhere — and also how something feels as opposed to how it appeals aesthetically. Registering it in my body as anxiety or an expansion is a great tip!
Wonderful article Katerina. I have to extend what Rod said and wonder how amazing it would be if we were taught this as kids, the relationship between money and ourselves. That would have been a subject that I would have elected to take!
Wonderful, wonderful blog Katerina. Your experiences are my experiences. When married I always had a well-spring of money behind me and I chose to pay for the ‘beautiful’ things: our food, interior decoration for the house, dresses, make-up stationary etc. I never paid for car services or things that didn’t interest me. After I left my marriage, I suddenly found myself having to pay for car services. I couldn’t believe it! But now, like you, I lovingly save for and hand over my money for car services – so appreciative of the work the garage has done, and that my car has been looked after and runs like silk. It feels good and has a solidity to it. Thank you so much for this great blog.
Thank you Katerina. Money and anxiety are common companions. I have been making changes similar to you, in how I look at money and how I use it. It gives a sense of freedom (and less anxiety), to feel how I spend my money instead of thinking of what I want.
A great article Katerina… one that I will take heed of. Imagine this being the first lesson for an accountancy, economics, finance, business or life skills course!
This is a great blog Katerina. Money seems to be a huge reflection and issue for many if not most people. Food and relationships are also up there as favourite issues!
Your article shows how our relationship with money is a reflection of our relationship with ourselves and with life.
I was amused because so much of what you wrote about money could also apply to food and relationships. For example you write “If I felt inadequate and didn’t want to feel this, I would often smother that feeling by buying something.” – I could easily insert the word “eating” something.
The “making a choice to take care of myself” that you speak of seems to be a magic wand that works in all areas of life – great to have this reminder and to know that everything can be nourishing and fun including paying a big car service bill.
Katerina, I really appreciate how you expressed this. I really connected to your explanation of the anxiety around not having enough. I too used to go into that fear – just awful! As I was reading I began to realise how my relationship with money has also changed (I love it but it keeps leaving me! – only playing hehe) but seriously, now I always seem to have enough for what I truly need and my anxiety around it has improved considerably. Thank you for posting this.
I loved waking up to your blog Katerina, I am off to the mechanics for my car service in 10 mins. I love the way you express how you have come to feel potential purchases in your body first before making them, by either feeling an ‘anxiousness’ or an ‘expanded’ feeling within you. What a simply and beautiful way to honour if it is true or not for you.
When I saw the title of your blog, I smiled – it’s actually what I have been looking at, and yep I see the connection between how I am with myself is expressed in how I use money, and how I feel about it — well expressed — THANK YOU!