by Carmin Hall, Brisbane
I have been hesitant to share on this blog site after reading so many amazing testimonies from people from all walks of life who have been introduced to Universal Medicine (UniMed) and Serge Benhayon and are feeling healthier and more vitalised as a result. I started seeing a UniMed practitioner and was introduced to UniMed 3 years ago. I have never felt worse when I stopped ignoring what I was actually feeling in my body.
I kept telling myself that as soon as I felt better and more energised, I would share too. I now feel ready to share that it has been an amazing journey connecting back to me, whether I get to the point of ‘healthier and more vitalised than ever’ or not.
Up until 3 years ago when I was forced to stop by severe shoulder pain and immobility (Calcific Tendonitis), I had never allowed myself to even pause for long enough to feel how exhausted I was, what was going on in my body, or how the way I lived my life was causing the exhaustion. At that point, I saw ‘feeling tired’ as a weakness and inconvenience that needed to be overridden so that I could complete all the tasks I set for myself.
If I got up in the morning and kept as busy as possible – I could push through each day. I prided myself on being efficient and doing so much. If I had quiet moments (i.e. while driving or sitting at the computer), I would top up with some form of sugar to keep me going. What I have come to learn through support from my Universal Medicine Practitioner, is that the busier I kept myself, the more numb I became to how I was truly feeling and I could also ‘nip in the bud’ any true feelings that came up by eating sugar.
Over the past 3 years I have slowly learned to make more loving choices (still a work in progress) about what I eat and how I live each day. The more I have stopped pushing myself and being busy (often for busy’s sake) the more I have felt the results of the loveless choices I have made in the past. The underlying theme of my life until that point was: everything that ‘needed’ to be done was more important than me and caring for me.
I was proud of the fact that I could get in and out of a shower and wash myself in a few minutes. Only when I was pregnant did I, for the first time since being a child, just enjoy the feeling of the water falling on me, warming me and taking time for me. But as soon as my baby was born, there was more to do than ever!
Part of my self disregard was that I had avoided medical doctors for years. Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine always encourage seeing a doctor and getting a medical diagnosis and necessary treatment for your conditions. I finally took the responsibility to find out the reasons for the long existing conditions I had been experiencing and as a result have been, in the last 3 years, diagnosed with:
- Severe shoulder pain and immobility (Calcific Tendonitis),
- Thinning of the bones (Osteopenia -which is the stage before osteoporosis),
- Severe Anaemia,
- A form of sugar malabsorption (Sorbitol Malabsorption),
- A benign tumour of one of the salivary glands (Submandibular Gland Pleomorphic Adenoma) – that was actually there for 6 years, but I pretended it wasn’t, and
- Other nutrient deficiencies.
All these medical conditions have brought me back to wanting to connect with me, giving myself space to make more loving choices. Being honest about my past choices and to stop being so hard on myself. They have led me on my path back to God.
When faced with the question of ‘GENERAL HEALTH’ on a questionnaire, I have always automatically written ‘excellent’ and skipped to the next question, reasoning that of course I am healthy compared to others who have cancer, diabetes, heart disease etc., and no one would be interested in hearing about all my ‘silly’ complaints. Early this year I was faced with the ‘GENERAL HEALTH’ question and was about do the same, when I paused long enough to feel that for me, I was not healthy and that I should be honest about it. There was such a healing for me in this honesty and admittance of where I was.
In my work I have regularly given nutrition advice and had read extensively about it, but never lived it – I took my vitamins of course, to counteract the way I lived. I knew that being free of disease was not the same as being healthy, and neither was being in a state of exhaustion. I simply reasoned that I must need more vitamins.
I didn’t want to give myself a break, it made me feel lazy – I judged myself on what I did and how much I accomplished. A UniMed Practitioner put it to me something like this: If you had an exhausted little 3 year old girl, how would you treat her? Would you make her get up in the morning and go, go, go all day, override all feelings of tiredness and berate her for not completing tasks? Or, would you nurture her, get her to take rests, get the family to help her more and only let her do what she could cope with?
I came to feel that I was still worth loving and nurturing at age 39 and that true self-worth came from how I lived my day, how kind, tender and gentle I was with me, and not how much I did.
I am still overweight (although I lost about 8kgs last year), I am still tired at times (although not absolutely exhausted), I still have shoulder pain (but can now lift my arm above my head). In other words, by making more loving choices, my body is slowly healing, but I am far from being healthier and more vitalised than ever in my life. I simply appreciate the painful shoulder that made me stop long enough to feel the accumulation of my disregard of me and my body and allowed me to start to address this.
My shoulder is now for me a marker or a gentle reminder of how I am. Whenever I am pushing myself or being unloving (especially when I shout at my children), it aches. I can then take the opportunity to stop, reassess and choose to go forward more lovingly – what a True blessing.