482 thoughts on “Addicted to Being Stressed”

1. How great that you caught yourself in the act so to speak…. I agree there must be some attraction to being stressed as we wouldn’t keep creating it if there wasn’t.

2. And I may add – I have realised now what I can let go of in my two very busy days ahead to create the spaciousness that will support this day, the next day and the week ahead. It’s so simply a case of observing what we are attached to, and asking ourselves if this thing, task, whatever it may be, is on par with how we really want to feel, whether it will support us to feel expanded or not.

   1. A great point – taking a moment and assessing where we might be purely outcome or success driven rather than plodding through a to do list like an obedient servant of our own agenda.

3. A very timely article to read this morning, as I had already been plotting my two busy days ahead and what I would do in between the tight little gaps I would try and find. Time can and will expand, if we let go of the internal rushing and stress that we create for ourselves.

4. I also in truth do not like to feel stressed, yet I have observed that there is a part of me that relishes the identification that is offered through stress. The identification that believes that I am valued through how much I can achieve, or that I think I am ‘alive’ if am on the go, or even the exhaustion that follows offers me recognition for ‘all’ that I was able to do in a day. However, the more I honor what I feel is true and allow myself to be guided by how my body feels, as you have wisely shared, ‘time expands’ and the space for us to bring our presence to every moment is available. Moving with this quality is what represents, defines and confirms who we are like nothing else can in this world.

5. A brilliant blog to stumble upon this morning – I can very much relate to hating being stressed but getting off on it at the same time. When I feel spacious and expanded there is nothing to dramatise about, so I’ll look for something more to do, to bring in the squeeze of time so that I can run around like a headless chicken and create a drama I can write home about – until the next drama, and the next drama and so on.

   1. Being stressed and squeezed for time is an addiction when there is spaciousness, we often attempt to recreate the limitations.

      1. In spaciousness there is no panic, there is no ‘I’ running around getting off on how busy I am, important, unimportant etc. So – we switch on the stress button again to go back into that familiar pattern where ‘me, myself and I’ become the centre of our own world once more.

6. I feel that there are many many people who will relate to what you have shared here. Being addicted to achieving things and stressing ourselves out over it all. We have a long way to learn that there actually nothing ‘out there’ that can dominate one’s choice or be blamed for any stressed action. It is always our choice as to how we deal with and manage our life.

   1. True, we are not truly the victims of circumstances but their creators.

7. I love this sharing Gabriele! I have often found myself ending up with a stacked day after starting with what seemed like an easy day for me. What I have noticed is that I tell myself its OK I am only doing as few things for myself on the day but It snowballs because I haven’t said no and each event took twice as long to accomplish as I expected! Not looking after me first does backfire and exhaustion follows.

8. The super organised super achiever in me squirms reading this. It’s funny you use the example of washing as often I notice myself thinking about putting washing on and if there isn’t one to wash I’ll check again just to make sure. If I keep busy then I don’t have time to feel what is really going on, let alone connect to the quality of stillness.

   1. True, keeping busy at any price assures that we don’t take the needed moments to be in our stillness.

9. Great blog Gabriele. I certainly know what you are talking about here, especially this part – “There is a part of me that gets off on being a super achiever and being super organised, a part of me that gets off on doing more than is necessary in any one day.” I know this well. It has run me ragged many a day. But like you it is lessening its grip and I wash more on Saturdays now 🙂 It is a loving work in progress to bring more self-love and self-care into my day, and realise that my being is more important that my doing.

10. Everything is choice, whether we like it or not. There are no victims and that can be a very bitter pill to swallow.

11. This is a feeling I have too Gabriele. Often when I am about to have a healing session, I look back at recent life events and feel how intense they’ve been, and I get the strongest feeling that things needn’t carry on this way. By the time I come to speak to the practitioner it’s sounds really odd to say ‘I have this big issue’ when it is clear in my heart I do not. Your words here makes it so clear, there are two possible ways we can live, one which worships complexity, difficulty, upset and strife and the other that knows simplicity, sweetness and truth. It’s just up to us which way we will go, and whether we are prepared to give up this overwhelm drug which is as potent as anything chemical we have made.

12. Stress is such a cheap and easy drug of choice if we want to consume it. How we deal with a situation or experience says more about us as a person than about the actual experience at hand.

13. What a learning Gabriele , the washing was a good one , a good way of maintaining stress in the body .
    It great you have got rid of the bone. Everyones day is full, its full of what needs to be done .

14. Gabriele it can sound strange to be addicted to stress yet that is exactly my experience, I was very much addicted to stress! Today the opposite is true but for me the highs and the lows are what used to make life.

15. To stay with what we feel is true and bring our focus or dedication away from just getting it done or doing it is what will support us all ongoing. As the article is saying too often we override the feeling to get into the doing and then loose track of time or we are cramped or stressed with time. The only way to sustain or to honour ongoing what you are feeling is to live that way, to dedicate as much as possible to feeling what’s going on around you. Then when the pressure is on or the stress meter goes up you will see everything for what it is.

16. I can relate to that running ragged behaviour in the past Gabriele and I also had an arrogance that I was so great to fill so much more into my life than others. I now understand there is a flow to everything we do, and feel what is going to be sorted today and what is going to left for tomorrow.

17. Stress and drama are a great distraction from feeling the truth of ourselves through simply being.

18. Wow! Stress can be an addiction… now there is a psychological mind bender for you! It shows stress is a choice and is very empowering to feel it this way.

19. This blog is gold Gabriele. The cycle of work hard, crash hard is well known to me. I know that I exhaust myself so I try to do absolutely everything while I am feeling ‘good’ in the mistaken belief that I will be able to rest later. I can see that it would be much wiser to live consistently committed to life.

    1. A bit like our self-inflicted economic cycle really, boom and bust – in this case, overextend and crash hard and do it all over again. As you say, consistency is key and not the wild gyrations that take us from shallow gratification to contraction and exhaustion.

20. I have found that stress can be my best friend and not something that I have to judge as bad, its like a very uncomfortable change point where you get to be honest and say, if I’m not with my body, then where’s the love?

21. Stress is a great way to avoid what we are feeling because we tend to then focus on the stress rather than what is causing the stress in the first place.

22. Being honest with ourselves and why we choose what we choose is a very needed foundation to start to change the choices that don’t work towards or benefit our well-being.

23. ‘And then it hit me: there is a part of me that enjoys running myself ragged, no matter how strongly I might verbally state the opposite’ . There is a part of me that enjoys struggle too, it’s something that I have spent my whole life identifying with and something which thankfully I’m starting to let go.

24. Amita, something you said to me recently has really supported me to let go of trying to get everything done in one day (which will never happen as there is always more that is needed) is appreciating when we have done enough and honouring the time needed to rest.

25. It had never occurred to me before that stress is a choice. So what if I choose not to have stress in my life? I certainly have far less stress than I have ever had by living more connected to my body and my movements but what if I chose to say no to those situations where I’m wanting to get just one more thing done so that I can feel good about myself at the end of the day but which actually leaves me feeling stressed and exhausted.

26. Not only that – it is an orchestrated rip-off that is devitalising, utterly draining and intent on turning us into box-ticking robots.

27. At times that feels like an addiction to the stimulation that stress provides – give me anything but stillness.

28. I am learning to be more realistic of the amount I set myself to achieve for the day, allowing myself time to stop and connect, and reminding myself, that it is the quality I am in at all times that is paramount.

29. I can relate to what you shared in this blog as I am sure many people can, I always considered myself as being super organised and someone who could achieve much, ‘There is a part of me that gets off on being a super achiever and being super organised, a part of me that gets off on doing more than is necessary in any one day.’ This old pattern can still creep in, so I have to look at why, and what it is giving me that I have not given myself.

    1. Great point, that last one – “what is it giving me that I have not given myself”. We are not stupid and there’s always a reason for our behaviour.

30. ‘There is a part of me that gets off on being a super achiever and being super organised, a part of me that gets off on doing more than is necessary in any one day.’ I know this all too good but when I work in this way I am assured of a headache or migraine next day as I frustrate myself with this ‘going on and going on thing’ filling every possible gap to satisfy only a small part of my body, my head/mind/spirit and with no regard for my body and the rhythms in life that are there to adhere to.

    1. Well, Serge Benhayon has always said, “The body is the marker of all truth” and your headaches or even migraines are a testimony to the truth of this teaching.

31. There is a major adrenaline kick and nervous system stimulation in stress, I really wanted the drama, it excited me, give me something to distract myself and in some ways gave my life a false meaning….no more I say enough of it, it serves no purpose. I agree, out of the body and get with a true purpose and connection that does not rely on drama and cares for the body.

32. So true Gabriele. Many say how stress has the capacity to ‘keep an edge’ and they can turn stress into motivation. But this is a fallacy as we see rates of stress skyrocketing and causing more illness and disease. Very simply, stress is stress and is not good for us. You can’t package it in another way and change that fact.

33. Yes it is true… We can be addicted to being stressed… How many people only function at work when there is a deadline… And of course it is appropriately named

    1. I’m guilty of this Chris, I wait for things to become so urgent that they cannot be left any longer and only then will I sit down and commit to getting them done. No wonder I am so tired with so much incomplete work hanging around.

34. Ah Gabriele I could have written this blog. This too has been my pattern. Squeezing in the extra things here and there and then ending up exhausted at the end of the day. Its amazing how many things can wait, and I don’t mean in the sense of procrastinating, but actually wait so that the day is not about getting as many things done as possible, but having a flow without the stress.

35. When you honour your body and that it feels it gives you all that is needed.

36. It is amazing how much time stretches and I naturally get so much more done when I am with my body and not moving ahead of myself in rush and nervous tension. Life becomes about the quality of movement, and not about the amount achieved.

37. Fascinating Gabriele, I am sure so many people can relate to the ‘packing it all in’ lifestyle! Especially around those jobs like shopping and washing, I am in the process of developing more of a rhythm with those aspects of my life including housework and looking at bringing more consistency to them. But not by adding more stress! Amazing what we do to avoid our stillness and simplicity.

38. There are a lot of things that people say they are addicted to, but i have no doubt that they may not admit to saying they are addicted to stress. Mostly because they feel that stress ‘happens’ to them, not that the stress is developed through their own choices, then to admit that one actually craves that stress, as it fosters not having to feel what is truly going on.

    1. Good point, stress can be the perfect red herring to not feel what is really going on.

39. Some great insights and points being made here Gabriele, we are far more invested in the cycle of stress we find ourselves in than most of us realise, or so I have discovered for myself. I recently found myself running late with preparation for a presentation so I arrived feeling slightly unprepared and rushed. I could feel the impact of this, and the choice to do so, when in fact I had ample space and time to do everything that was needed.

    1. I have noticed this phenomenon as well, dipping back into an old pattern lest we forget what used to be ‘normal’. It doesn’t make sense.

       1. Ha yes, it seems we dislike the responsibility of standing out more than the discomfort of dipping back into sabotaging familiar patterns that leave us feeling lousy!

40. I agree I have called it like a turbo boost button I put on and then I get things done of fast speed and exhaust myself, and when I am exhausted, I eat what I want, and lie around like I deserve it….it is a very up and down sort of existence….but one that had a certain appeal because of the nervous energy stimulation that I felt. I now choose to be more steady and caring for myself, more consistently and this in truth feels more amazing and more self-loving. But it does not have the peaks….nervous excitement…it is more humble and supportive and I now love it, so much more deeply than suffering the ups and downs.

41. Multi tasking is another one. I do this because I don’t trust myself to get everything done in a time frame I have set myself. I can be choosing to ignore something that really needs addressing and distract myself with a second activity or I can simply not be comfortable in the first activity and seek comfort in the second. The body tenses up to cope with whatever it is being asked to do and our mind is being asked to be more than one place at once. This causes fragmentation and potential chaos.

    1. Great insights into why we pick up a second or third activity instead of attending to the one at hand – we seek comfort or to distract ourselves and we are then not present with what is really going on.

42. I usually write to do lists that are based on time. They’re unrealistic and I know this as I write them! So last week I did reminder lists, short and essential couple of tasks for the day and let the day unfold with all the regular work and it was amazing. I wasn’t stressed and all the things that needed doing were done even when the usual extra tasks came in. I didn’t resent or give any less to those extra tasks or the usual ones. I did’t check out thinking about ‘all the things I have to do’ so had some amazing moments with people that I felt they felt supported.

43. There is a real comfort in being stressed and there are levels of recognition that we can slip into in order not to look closely at our foundation and how this is supporting us to live. Often stress or any levels of hardship will bring with it a level of sympathy from others that don’t truly support but leaves us in the same cycle to repeat the patterns time and time again

44. I should read this blog every day Gabriele. It certainly answers the question of why it is hard to just do what we feel is true for us. This need to always do more is one I know well and for me it is related to a lack of self worth. Your words remind me that no box ticking to do list exercise can bring me the contentment I seek.

45. Thank you for this honest sharing Gabrielle, we definitely use and abuse our bodies to such levels in order to not feel the emptiness in our bodies as a result of not appreciating and loving ourselves. Being addicted to this way of living offers us a false sense of security but always with a hefty price at the expense of our bodies.

    1. This false sense of security is nothing but a momentary comfort provided by the way we have always done it, whether it truly works and supports us or not.

46. I could definitely say that I was addicted to stress in the past. It took a very long time to even create the space for me to realise that I was in fact the creator of a lot of the stress, in how I left things to the last minute, I’d leave the house too late to get somewhere, so arriving stressed, or leave for a meeting with just a couple of minutes to spare, so I had to rush to get there, so setting myself up to arrive in anxiousness. I realised that I was in fact doing all of these things, therefore contributing to how I was in my body. This has changed dramatically these days, but still a work in progress.

47. It’s really in the last few years in the main, that I’ve found myself taking on work and projects, to the point that one could say that my days are very, very full. What I’m continuing to learn through this time, is that without a foundation of true worth and value within myself – way before anything I may ‘do’ – I essentially ask and expect too much. Thereby leaving me in a certain level of anxiousness (i.e. self-abuse) at times, with the attendant stressors and expectations I have fallen into. Knowing our true worth is everything, and in exploring this more deeply, what I am discovering, is that I can indeed ‘do’ a lot, and yet also, that I haven’t truly valued what it is that I do ‘do’ (and have done amazingly, oftentimes for years…) nearly enough… The balance is most definitely shifting in all of this, and with it, a deeper tone of the power of what I bring is being brought to all expressions – most definitely still a ‘work in progress’, yet worth the awareness, self-assessment and most importantly, deep recognition and appreciation of all that it is I am and all that I bring along the way. We are so, so much more than we have given ourselves credit for.

    1. You make an important point here – when we rush through things we don’t get to appreciate ourselves for our contribution to the whole.

       1. Beautifully put Gabriele. And without true, sincere and heartfelt appreciation, we cannot actually bring the quality of expression that we are capable of…

48. Actually getting to the point of the honest admission with ourselves is everything, isn’t it Gabriele. Thank-you for sharing so openly and honestly here… I am finding myself reflecting on deeper levels of late about how much I ask of myself in a day, and becoming far more realistic and then purposeful as a result.

    1. Great insight, thank you – dropping the unrealistic and high expectations leads to purpose.

49. For a society that claims to dislike stress and has industries built on educating about stress and offering stress relief, we sure seem to be masters at creating stress for ourselves. I have noticed at times even the tendency there is for engaging in entertainment, recreational actives and games that crank up the stress factor.
    This is a great article inviting us to take an honest look to see if we are in fact addicted to stress. And if so ask ourself what is in it for us?

50. An interesting and astute observation …. Addicted to being stressed…. How many of us ONLY get things done when the deadline is right upon us, we are under the hammer and this is what we need to get motivated….. imagine turning this around, as Gabrielle suggests, in all aspects of our lives …. What a flow there would be!

    1. … and how many keyboards, engines, TVs, locks and many other devices would breathe a deep sigh of relief because they are not being hammered, hit, mishandled or otherwise assaulted any longer.

51. Two of my favourite words at the moment are rhythmic flow . These words are so handy because when we allow ourselves to surrender to being present in our bodies and in each moment then we don’t feel tension or stress and the space expands and everything that is needed to be done will get done in due time and space.

52. Thank you Gabriele for sharing this wonderful observation. It exposes well the huge belief that in order to be efficient in life we have to focus on ways of forcing what we think needs to be done and ‘defeating’ time and circumstance. Yet what is clearly revealed here is how much wiser it would be to instead focus on being present in the moment, feeling what is in true harmony with our body and flow, and honouring that. Another benefit would be that as well as life being simpler and smoother, on the bigger scale instead of each of us imposing and forging our own way, everything each of us chooses will work in harmony with the All.

53. I wonder if feeling stressed is for some a way of feeling alive. I observe people who seem to live constantly in ‘fight or flight’, running on adrenalin until they crash onto their beds at night exhausted. In fact I probably used to live this way myself until I became aware of the fact and chose to live differently. These days I am much more aware of my body’s need for balance and for periods of activity and then rest throughout the day. In this way I find I am much more productive and sleep better too.

    1. I feel you are on the right track here – for many and that includes me in the past as well, the fight and flight mode is what keeps them going; it acts a bit like caffeine or a sugar hit and we can use it to push us over the line, the deadline that is; and likely into exhaustion and burnout at the end?

       1. ‘Deadline’ is an interesting and revealing word isn’t it. How far are we willing to push ourselves and neglect our wellbeing to meet a deadline and at what cost to ourselves? We champion people who do so too, fuelling the attitude that we don’t matter but what we do and the recognition we get is what is important. It is a slippery slope in my experience that can lead to health problems if we are not careful and very aware.

       2. It is as though we take our body to market like a chunk of meat that better deliver or else, to put it very crassly. And all in the pursuit of some arbitrary dead lines and to our own detriment. That strikes me as insanity but it seems to be widely accepted as the way to go.

54. I recognise that part of me that wants to be a super achiever and it has the energy of a little bully, pushing me to do more. When I feel this it feels horrible in my body. As I honour my body more I become more aware of these self sabotaging behaviours.

55. I can plan all the things I’d like to do in a day in my mind but that doesn’t always correlate with reality! I’m learning more to put the energetic quality in the way I do things first and foremost – maintaining a connection with my whole body and being and feeling what is needed next rather than rigidly sticking to a pre-plan…

56. This is me all over, the creator of my own demise. A brilliant expose of a way that we can keep ourselves in perpetual motion to avoid our incredible stillness within.

57. The attachement of rush is an important subject as we seemingly and knowingly use stress to keep us busy and on the road (drive). We can say that we might feel more comfortable in this sphere, as we know it best, it is familiar, than actually doing things without rush.. Being a person myself who used rush and at times still does, to not feel and or keep myself small in a certain order, can say that it is quiet comfortable, even though at the end of the yourney my body feels tired and exhaused.. And I have to build my energy back up again.. So not really comfortable is it? Is it actually worth it?

58. Beautiful observations Gabriele. This helps me understand why, when I have a day off, I often feel that sense of having to rush, of feeling that I need to do so much with the day and often overestimating what can be done. Like you, I am very committed to not being stressed…but can feel how subtly, I still choose to engage with the energy of stress. Thank you for sharing your awareness here, it is a powerful reflection for me to ponder.

    1. Ooh, I know that one – having a day off and packing it full with all sorts of things to do, totally overestimating how much can realistically be done. It usually ends up with me feeling very flat if not guilty or remorseful for apparently not having achieved enough – what a waste! And the linear and boxed in way of going into such a day feels terrible in my body to boot.

59. I have been shown quite clearly lately where there is a part of me that likes creating stress. When everything is going well I can make myself late sometimes, which of course then creates stress, I can also leave things to the last minute. It seems there is a part of me that still gets off on nervous energy, though with more awareness of this I am slowly starting to change these ingrained behaviours that have been there for quite some time.

60. I super-love this article! It has just shone more of a light on my own behaviour, and own lack of self-worth. Thank you Gabriele for your honest take on a long and commonly-held pattern.

61. I know I’m addicted to stress, to being ever more efficient when I get irritated or down right frustrated when each segment of time isn’t used to the best of its ability (according to me!). So some people arrive 20 mins late and I start thinking how I could have used that time for writing x report, or there’s a very slow que in the supermarket and my phone hasn’t got connection (and nor have I) so I can’t google what I would like to and the queing becomes a ‘waste of time.’

    What’s beneath this doing? An unwillingness to feel I’m ok as I am. I don’t have to prove myself. The doing takes me away from feeling what’s running my need to avoid criticizing myself – but I am constantly criticizing myself as I do all these things. I’m not doing these things in a quality of acceptance and appreciation of myself or the people or God’s love. This I can choose to look at and change.

62. “Addicted to Stress” is such a great title. How many of us can relate to this, I know I certainly can. I used to live life from one crisis to another, full of emotion, so much distraction, not even being able to focus on anything for more that 20 mins. I couldn’t keep still, I was in my nervous system all the time. That is not how I live now, but stress still does present, I can feel the pull to go back into an emotive old way of being, but i am so much more loving with myself if that happens and not stay in that space for very long.

63. Trying to fit in ‘just one more thing’ into our day because we get a sense of achievement from doing this – what I’m starting to feel is that the sense of achievement isn’t worth the pressure I feel in my body from squeezing everything in. When I try to fit everything into the smallest amount of time and fill all the gaps, I feel squashed and there isn’t the spaciousness in my body, and then I feel squashed in my life, like there is never enough time – because I haven’t allowed any gaps or breathing space.

64. I keep stumbling across this blog post, and I know exactly why. Because without really wanting to admit it, I too am addicted to being…perhaps not stressed (although I certainly used to be), but just a shade or two lighter than that….busy. And, to be honest, it’s not actually too different. Because whilst I don’t feel the mania as much, I feel the racyness of trying to fit everything in…the only difference is I’m aware of it, and at times can catch myself and just simply stop it…but other times it feels the momentum is too far gone and I’m like a mouse on a wheel. Feeling this right now as I write!

65. The choices we make of our own accord have a huge impact on the level of stress that we feel! I love how you show Gabriele that not being stressed isn’t about just switching off so to speak and not caring but about feeling into what is truly there for us to do and not letting in complications.

66. Well said and equally it is important to be doing what needs to be done when it needs to be done. When we indulge in tasks by doing those that don’t need to be done in that moment or by choosing to take more time on them when there are other things that are calling to be done at that time, we are playing ball with time so to speak and I often find this is when time contracts and we feel like we have less space in the day. It is essentially a game we play with ourselves.

67. Ah yes, making ourselves important, huffing and puffing and gleefully overburdening ourselves for the sake of recognition – now that’s a familiar pattern.

68. We get very habitual with our unwanted patterns and behaviours, as though they define us and make us stand out – it’s called individuality at any price and even to our detriment.

69. Looking through the comments, I don’t think you are alone on this one! (and I can include myself on this list as well!). It is such a trap what your write about here Gabrielle, the ‘i’ll just do this XX”. On Sunday I caught myself doing it and said NO and I came home and slept for a couple of hours as it was exactly what I needed to do. Great blog.

70. I can see here as well how we see ‘efficiency’ and ‘get more things done’ in a linear way. We think ‘more’ is quantity. Thereby ‘more’ should be (and is in truth only): expanded quality.

    1. yes, indeed – ‘more’ can really only be a deeper level of quality that is not at the expense of our body and true wellbeing.

71. I could so relate to this Gabriele, being addicted to stress, a very common thing for many people, but i did it very well. Always in drive, needing to be a part of everything all the time. It is a different story now, but it has taken a long time to learn to slow down and be more in my body.

72. A great reminder of trusting in the flow of life and allowing space for things rather than cramming things in and juggling life and the stress that comes with that. In this way whatever you do will hold the quality of you and not of the pressure you are under.

73. Letting go of the need to do everything, and simply doing the next thing creates a freedom to be fully present with whatever the task is now. Otherwise we live hanging off our to do list, constantly worrying if there is going to be enough time.

74. We use addictions to fill out the void of not living connected to the love and truth that we are, once we start to honor and reconnect to that we realise there is nothing that compares to the grandness, ease and flow of what life is all about without the complications we normally create.

    1. That is beautiful and very clear.

    2. Busyness = complication and distraction. Simplicity and flow is when we’re 100% with the body, listening and honouring to what it can do, and not what we want to do.

75. I relished in being super-efficient, priding myself in how much I could pack into a day, buzzing on the thrill of drive and raciness regardless of how it left me feeling exhausted at the end of the day. I even had myself believing that the exhaustion was a ‘good’ sign that I had achieved well that day. All the while my connection to me, who I already am was absent and the purpose of all this achieving started to feel pointless. I have since discovered that moving through my day in connection and in honor of me is far more fulfilling and rewarding, through which the space to feel what needs to be done is clear and what needs to be done is then done with a quality of presence that honors me and my body.

76. I find it’s so easy to get on a roll in the day and it’s more difficult to stop that roll at the end of the day when it comes to go to bed or rest. It’s almost like an attachment to life or an addiction to stimulation, there’s a seeking in it, rather than a connection to ourselves, that is absolutely exhausting.

    1. So true – it’s the seeking and striving and being ahead of ourselves that drains our energy and exhausts us; and it usually makes us racy and and incapable of jumping off and settling into ourselves, especially at the end of the day.

77. Thank you Gabriele. What a sneaky trick we play on ourselves when we conclude that the outside world is responsible for our stress. It is far more empowering to recognise that stress is a choice.

    1. Great summary and an awesome reminder for going forward: “stress is a choice”.

78. I love that, a choice made to see what could have been the choices and to choose the ones that stayed with the plan and let the rest of the plan play out.

79. It’s crazy in what kind of manoeuvres we can shape ourself to get some kind of high or achievement, while we know what is truly serving us. It is about getting the grips on this and catch ourselves every time we slip into this. Every habit is a choice.

80. I so needed to read this article today, thank you Gabriele. I am moving house and trying to fit it all the little jobs that needed completing in my business, as well as running errands, as well as sorting, packing clearing and cleaning so as you see my list for today is huge. I will do one thing at a time and not allow my mind to run me ragged.

81. This is me all over, addicted to stress. It’s a work in progress for me, feeling when I am creating stress and learning to have a stop moment to see what I’m just about to play out.
    What’s coming up for me is the lack of self love I have within that then keeps me in motion to do and not just be.

82. “And then it hit me: there is a part of me that enjoys running myself ragged, no matter how strongly I might verbally state the opposite.” I so know this behaviour pattern in myself. Lately I have made a stance where I am saying no to running myself ragged, putting everyone else before myself and I am noticing a big difference in my body. It is as if my body can finally settle and I can settle into my own skin so to speak.

83. Wow Gabriele, I can so relate to the title along ‘Addicted to being Stressed’, I have been swept up in that addiction for a long time, to feelings of being in overwhelm, being in reaction to what life throws at me and what life has to offer. Not being able to observe and not absorb it. These days it is different, but can still step into that head space at times, and when I do, those feelings of being the addict can come back very quickly. I can move them on as quickly as they come, but shows me that it is in my daily choices, movements and how I live, that allows for what may present.

84. Thank you Linda, that was a reminder at just the right time – it feels like many doses of this medicine are needed, i.e. not buying into expectations, images and ideals of how things should be and how much we need to get done but instead listening to the body and its messages. And our body has much to share in its wisdom.

85. I can so relate to this and I have had two injuries recently that have made me slow down and allow myself to feel the tiredness I have been hiding. I have also had more pondering into the seeds of these injuries and what I have been doing to myself. It all boils down to disregard and not following my inner knowing. I am allowing much more space in my day now and not thinking or feeling that I have to do everything or it won’t get done or that it has to be done now.

86. Checking where the need to be doing something comes from is a great technique – does it come from being driven, a need for recognition or a feeling of emptiness or is it a true impulse? The body always knows, the mind will come up with all sorts of excuses and reasons, is my experience.

87. I second that – it takes a while and a good dose of honesty and self-awareness to realise that what we say we don’t like, we might actually be addicted to. And especially when there is a pay off, as in being recognised and applauded for being super busy and apparently, oh so efficient.

88. Wow Gabriele – another addiction exposed! Thank you so much.

89. This is gold Gabriele. I am reading this blog in between doing a whole bunch of other tasks and it takes all the joy out of life to be cramming every moment full of doing. I am inspired to take my time, feel what is needed and enjoy.

90. It is an interesting idea isn’t it… that time can be ‘flexible’ so to speak, that things are not as fixed as they seem, that we can literally free ourselves from an embedded paradigm of awareness and experience a different reality, just by connecting to our inner selves.

    1. I like that cjames2012. It brings the metaphysical into being a practical, normal thing.

91. Great example of catching out that tricky spirit! and if you wonder what else the spirit gets up to check out Unimedpedia spirit: http://www.unimedliving.com/unimedpedia/word-index/unimedpedia-spirit.html

92. I had to smile when I was reading your blog Gabriele because my husband said to me recently “whenever you have a gap in your week you just have to fill it” I have been much more aware of giving my self time to not rush or become anxious, but I have always loved the doing, and like you doing as much as possible, I am much easier on myself these days, but still slip up now and again.

    1. How amazing that your husband is there to remind you that you might not be honouring the rhythm your week has laid out for you.

93. Gabriele that is a very inspiring blog for me as I was a person who had the same addiction: “… there is a part of me that enjoys running myself ragged, no matter how strongly I might verbally state the opposite.” It took me a while to understand what I was doing but since I got a deeper understanding that this way of living was there to not take the responsibility for myself – I was able to change this behavior.

94. I could oh see myself in you Gabriele, trying to pack so much into the day forgetting about how exhausted my body felt but congratulated myself on just how much I had ‘achieved’. But for what? It is such an ingrained belief that to be seen as a ‘real’ women we have to do everything and be everything to everyone when the reality is, WE are the most important person in our lives and we have nothing to prove to ourselves or others whatsoever. I believe we are beginning to change the consciousness of why women behave the way they do thanks to Esoteric Women’s Health, and we will begin see the return of what a true women looks like in this world, and for me Natalie Benhayon is just that.

95. When we are run by the clock or time, I find there is never enough space to do all we want, and yet there is ample space when we are in rhythm with our body, being present and with the moment we are in.

96. I like the humour in your writing Gabrielle and can relate to getting on a roll and how the mind takes over, running the show…. it is a very hard taskmaster. What a great realisation that being stressed can actually be an addiction like any other. Our body lets us know though when we have overdone it, a very loving companion.

97. It is very clear in this blog the clash of time and space and how these play out with our perceptions of life and our day to day plans. Space is a holding and ceaseless, effortless flow which I have noticed is how life actually works by. It is as simple as truly honouring the moment, being honest deeply so, and listening to what our bodies have to say. Time is the game of check box ticking items to do in the time we have but when we are living solely based on this we are in our minds and not actually listening to what is most honouring to do in each moment.

    1. That feels true – time is the full of mind concept we have made it to be; space is vast and way beyond the mind and its mainly limited understanding.

    2. Completely agree Joshua, Life is so much more open and available when living spherically, i.e with space rather than time

98. Yes awesome Gabriele, there is a timing for everything that is part of the flow of a day, trying to squeeze more in never works… the end result is always that something pays the price, whether that’s me feeling frazzled and over-tired, or whatever l’ve tried to squeeze in, going pear-shaped.

    1. Yes, I agree; the apparent gain is only ever very short term and there is always a price to pay.

99. This line was gold for me Gabriele “I had been my own worst stressor by the impositions I have always put on myself.” That is exactly it, we place these impositions that stress and strain us into ourselves.

100. Thank you Gabriele,
     Reading about your addiction to stress has brought to the fore a way that I keep myself at a level of stress. For me it is not so much about packing more into the day, it is about procrastinating, something that I have been letting go of, but something that I am discovering that is rather insidious now in how it appears in my life. As yet I have not fully let it go, but in acknowledging the more refined ways that I do it, I can feel that it will become a past way of living.

101. Great to re-read your blog Gabriele. I too would say I hate to feel stressed, but often try to do ‘just one more thing’ in my day- which often results in hold-ups – and definitely no flow. I realise I liked the adrenaline rush it gave me. Since allowing myself more time, space has opened up – and I am then even able to take on new projects – but with a different energy!

102. I can totally relate to this Gabriele – the trying to pack in those extra things to feel better about myself but realising that actually it doesn’t work or flow when I try and do things in that way. Letting go of that drive and staying with what really feels true in my body opens up space to enjoy what I’m doing and brings an entirely different quality to it.

103. The title of this blog is very powerful as the words themselves would sound ridiculous to the reader. Who would ever possibly think that they could be addicted to stress yet as a society we are often sitting and living in the thick of it all. A very honest and in-depth blog that hits home on a much needed conversation.

104. The title of this blog is a marker how we can feel an adrenal high in the addiction of being stressed. The saying ‘I work better when I am under stress’ in itself feeds a behaviour that encourages putting the body under an enormous amount of pressure and overwhelm. The long term harms are far greater then we know when we are in the thick of the behaviour.

105. Thank you Gabriele, you have spotlighted a very common trait that I have also played. I think there is something that has surfaced reading between the words for me. I asked myself why do I overfill a day that is already “well rounded” ?…..maybe my normal is at a certain level that I need to” over or under” my activities/day to maintain this “normal” thresh hold that I operate at. We really are magicians in every details.

106. When I don’t get caught in ‘time’ I know space is opening up and there is so much more I can do and at the same time be with myself. But I have to say I get caught in ‘time’ and become anxious and stressed, an addiction? Yes, very true! More and more I feel the awful effect it has on my body and choose to step out of my own creation of stress by letting my body lead the way.

107. Being stressed can actually feel like an adrenaline rush, we can be focused completely on getting all the jobs done and meeting the deadlines they all have, which also keeps us away from feeling anything we would like to avoid by asking too much of ourselves! I can really relate to what you have shared, and yes it’s great to really listen to our common sense and how we feel and take all the pressure off ourselves.

108. As I sit here pondering on what’s been shared here I realise that I do exactly the same thing and can feel the addictive nature of constantly feeling like there is more to be done. I have a habit of underestimating how long it takes me to do things so I very often plan to do way more than I could possibly achieve in a day. It leads to feelings of failure, never being enough and of course, anxiety/stress. Turns out though that this is a very convenient way to avoid the responsibility I have to simply be myself in the world. I love the way you gave yourself space in the day to reconnect if you needed to, to ensure the quality of whatever came next was with you. Being stressed and busy does not allow this.

109. There are so many of us that I am sure can relate to what you have shared here Gabrielle, being addicted to stress. so articulated in your line “there is a part of me that enjoys running myself ragged, no matter how strongly I might verbally state the opposite.” there is a comfort we hold around ‘running ourselves ragged’ it is the easy default to go into, especially if we are used to running that way. Especially when we go into being productive. But as you have shared it is a choice one can make to let go of the stress.

110. What happens if we stop to see that the things we do in life, are actually not ‘it’ at all? What happens if we consider they are just a side effect from a much bigger experience that is at play? Like an elephant in the room, we can start to see that being stressed, having arguments or being late are not unfortunate habits we have to break, but are moments telling us there is something bigger going on. No wonder being harsh and judging ourselves for these habits doesn’t work. That in itself is one of the biggest ways we have to hide the elephant from view. But of course it doesn’t work because it is not true. Thank you Gabrielle.

111. Thanks Gabrielle, you have highlighted a pattern l can certainly relate to, particularly when you say… “I didn’t want to let these potentially tantalising achievements go!” The potential for ‘reward’ is so great when we have spent a lifetime subscribing to our worth being based on achievement and getting things done. I still feel a sense of relief I have to say when I have had a day that felt very ‘productive’.

     1. Yes, totally – that identification with productivity and the slight let down kind of feeling when the day hasn’t ‘delivered’, it’s a very old habit and ingrained pattern.

112. Trying to cram lots of things into one day can feel like an achievement but for me if I do those things in a rush or drive to get it done, then the next day I will pay the price and probably not be very efficient. I find it is a balance of approaching tasks with a clear energy and focus but not forcing anything to happen. When I do this I find it amazing how much I can get done without creating stress, whereas if I push for results I pay the price with a tense and stressed out feeling in my body.

113. I can so relate to wanting to pack more things into my day and then getting overwhelmed, for me this directly corresponds with the amount of expectation I put on myself to get it all done and to be perfect. When I drop these ideals and this intensity I can actually enjoy being with me and in the flow of that know what it is best to do next instead of trying to cram a hundred and one things in.

114. Thank you Gabriele. This exposes that we can even seek recognition from ourselves for getting more ‘done’ than we planned so that we feel rewarded by the stress we create.

115. Good point – no use blaming life or circumstances, we are after all the creators of our ill ways and there is always a choice.

116. On a neuro-chemical level it is a fact that we become addicted to stress, and then this translates into all the behavious we see around us… thank God for the support cutting this cycle.

117. Such a simple story of letting go of self-made impositions and simply honoring the natural flow of the day. Everything finds its place and we never need to compromise when we surrender and simply allow. We always have a choice. ✨

118. How beautiful to feel the tension that arises in our bodies to tell us something is amiss. We will only benefit when we learn to listen to it as you did Gabriele. Great tip about my Livingness!

119. So true Gabriele, I too dislike being stressed but I am the only one who could choose to take on stress, really no one can make me feel stressed unless I am willing to take it on. Therefore, we are our own creator of stress yet so many of us often like to blame this on things outside of us when it is our responsibility and choice to not take it on. Your blog inspires us to feel what is true and supportive for ourselves first and then allow our day to flow from making choices that deeply supports us instead of creating things to make ourselves all stressed out. Feeling stressed is a choice.

120. It’s funny I just read your blog and when I wanted to comment I realized how I have put myself into the exact situation you are describing. I just took a little time for myself and enjoyed reading this blog and I put myself the goal to comment on it and as I have only 20 mins I was caught in time, I wanted to get it done, squeeze it in and have an outcome. When I wanted to post it the internet was gone and I was stuck. So, I stopped, realized what was going on took myself out of time and the pressure to achieve….wow back in space and time unfolds!!!

121. Haha love this blog, it makes you feel the dizziness of living based on self made stress. I know this feeling of satisfaction when I squeeze as much as I can into my day. I am on the run and it is like getting an adrenaline push by ticking of the to do list and I come home being exhausted, but feeling that I matched my expectations. Through Universal Medicine I learned to not be rushed and stressed by time, but to create space and let time develop in the space. This does not mean I don’t plan and that there are things to be done, actually I get more done than before, but I am not following a rigid plan and the day unfolds and what fits in presents itself and as you say all the circumstances play along.

122. If you ask us we will say till we are blue in the face that we really don’t want or like stress. Gosh, how horrible it is! but yet as you show Gabriele, we keep returning to actively choose it. And isn’t this the truth that it is indeed a choice, not a must have? That like alcohol, drugs or sugary food, stress is just something, a tool that we choose, to avoid and suppress something that lives underneath. We avoid the truth of our amazingness, beauty and power and the simple fact we don’t live this. How absurd!

123. You mean you don’t have to fit everything into one day? That is super cool, it just shows how easily we make life more complicated and intense for ourselves than it needs to be, and we actually choose life to be that way. I remember a wise man saying once – our bodies are not made to hurry.

     1. Yes, our bodies are not made to hurry, I agree; it is our minds and ways of thinking that impose this unnatural haste and drive.

124. God’s way is harmony, synchronicity and togetherness. You don’t see a cloud hurry across the sky, late for a rendezvous, or witness a bird delayed by an argument it had. You don’t see grass stay in bed instead of facing the day, and neither will you find a tree that competes with other ones to get ahead. So what it is Gabriele, that makes us think we can be stressed and push and fight time? What makes us think we need this sensation to be ‘real’? Really it is just an addiction to perceiving life an unnatural way. Thank you for the reminder here, what a great thing to let go of right away. No more do I wish to have this disturbance in my body.

125. I too have recently come to the conclusion that there is some detrimental part of me that likes to get stressed, and I have noticed more lately how I create stress if things are going well or I need some stimulation in my life. This awareness has allowed me to look deeper at why I create nervous tension when in truth flowing and being still in a situation is all I need.

126. Mostly we are encouraged to multitask and champion those who achieve it , but what quality has been lost in the process. The loveliness of totally being with the task at hand and feeling the detail of every timeless moment will not be felt in the drive to achieve.

127. I agree with you Gabriele , time does expand when we are with ourselves and not rushing in nervous energy.

128. I was given these words of advice once, to organise your day and then allow (accept) for it to go chaotic which can so easily happen as an unexpected event often occurs. This has opened me up to not putting pressure on myself to getting everything done within a certain amount of time. It’s about accepting that what I do is enough and then I find it’s amazing how much I can still get done without putting myself through any form of stress. Just being in the present and not getting ahead of myself is key for me.

     1. Very wise counsel indeed – it sounds like there is a strong foundation of being present and in rhythm and then be flexible to allow what the day brings and not beat ourselves up with what it should have brought.

129. I love how you’ve exposed the secret life of a gap filler – (s)he who tries to run life as if it’s a time and motions effectiveness study, where we get marks out of ten at the end of each day for how efficient we’ve been, how many extra things we squeezed in and how conscientious we were. I know I do this – particularly in the kitchen. I feel my arms becoming mechanistic and octopus like as I go about rapidly multi-tasking – emptying the dishwasher, putting on some washing, preparing the bins – but somehow all at the same time. I must look like a robot on speed but I definitely feel like someone who’s left herself in favour of feeling virtuous for five minutes. The point is – at what expense to the body…

     1. Amazing summary, Cathy – makes me exhausted just reading about it and yet, it describes me as well, or how it used to be unquestioningly. I can feel the mechanistic modus operandi and how we give ourselves over to functionality and emptiness in the process of efficiency and multitasking.

130. Yes awesome comment Harryjwhite, it is all about quality not quantity.

131. Isn’t it funny if you ask anyone, do you like stress? I can imagine everyone you ask would say no but we are the ones who create stress even though we dislike it so much and it is in fact very harmful. We can also change this pattern so easily, it is just a choice away.

132. Who are we if we are not this stress? Who are we if we actually have no real issues? Who are we if we have all the time and space in the world? Your words here Gabriele illustrate perfectly how there is an addictive part to these emotional states that we don’t always want to see. They repeat and lead to more of the same, till we make a clear and certain choice and recognise this strained and volatile state has nothing to do with our true being.

133. Our days are planned, but we don’t plan them, we just have to bring all that we are and it will be a great day!

134. There is unbelievable joy in not having any expectations of ourselves and what we can do in our days. Its easier to do things when we have joy and to commit to what we know we can bring to make peoples lives better, not by doing but with JOY.

135. Gabriele thank you for sharing your experience, I have found that when I am with myself and my rhythm is steady, I often find that the day goes slowly in regard to time. It only takes me to be out of my rhythm for me to feel like I am chasing myself and the stress creeps in.

136. What is it about domestic chores that we make them squeeze-ins rather than set pieces in our daily, weekly or monthly rhythm? I’m wondering if for me that’s why I always feel they’re an ‘on-top-of’ activity and they always wobble the boat when I try to fit them in and around things. It always, always works much more harmoniously when I identify a clear space for cleaning and another one for washing, giving them equal weight and measure with any other task. Why would or should they be any different? Seen like this, I can appreciate how my squeeze-in strategy reflects the worth I hold them in, yet that can’t decrease the tasks themselves and so they topple my workload.

     1. Great point you make – giving different tasks different weightings and importance is a sure way to create disharmony; what would it be like to treat everything as equally important? And that means everything, from making the bed to folding the washing to writing emails and working on a text – and no distinction between being at home or being at work. It feels like it would definitely and palpably change my perception of time and also create a lot more spaciousness in my day.

137. It always seems to be about more and better, faster and higher – and as you say, this is not at all supportive and does nothing for how we truly and sustainably feel outside the fleeting elation of yet another so-called achievement.

138. ‘Time expanded… it felt great and I felt great.’ I love this line….because this is what is possible when we choose to let go. I experimented with this a little on the weekened, and I have to say…even though I didn’t let go completely (work in progress), I could feel the beginnings of time expanding!!

139. ‘…I could feel how I had this urge to pack more things into this well structured day, how I wanted to make me more efficient and get more done, seeing I was ‘on a roll’. ‘
     It’s like I wrote it myself. Seeing it written down by someone else can sometimes be the ticket for opening your eyes!

     1. It sounds a bit ridiculous, doesn’t it? Or should I say downright silly? It does help to either say things out loud or have someone reflect back our own behaviour to grasp the nonsensical in it.

140. We get so used to running on empty, and topping up that emptiness with anything that keeps the physical body moving, almost always at its expense, that it is very much like coming off any substance addiction, when we start to let go of that in driving or driven-ness that has been pushing us along.

     1. It is truly like an addiction and no matter how frazzled and off kilter, we then draw more fuel from the very stress we have created to keep the overall push and drive going.

141. An interesting point you made Gabriele is the space that’s made when we are present.

142. Great summary – and it totally changes the paradigm from how much we get done to the felt quality and presence that we do things in. A very different outcome and so much more solid and truly responsible.

143. A great observation Gabriele, how we play the busy/stress game to distract ourselves in order to hide away and resist taking responsibility for feeling what is unresolved within our body.

     1. Great observation – using stress and anxiety as all consuming emotions to stop ourselves from feeling what needs to be addressed and healed. What a clever set up!

144. Before I would try to achieve way too much and often looked at achieving a certain output by the end of the day, it was usually totally unrealistic. It was very stressful and exhausting too. I now only set out with a few things to achieve and often get a lot more done, this is by far a less stressful way of living which is more honouring of myself, and others, as I realise now how trying to achieve too much also effected everyone around me too.

     1. Setting these totally unrealistic goals of how much we need to achieve in each day is a sure way to failure with all its accompanying negative thoughts and self-judgments – definitely not the way to go.

        1. Yes I agree Gabriele, this then creates a downward spiral towards stress, exhaustion and overwhelm when we can simply make more loving choices and through being aware of what courses us to set these unrealistic goals.

145. I can relate Gabrielle, how this addiction to achievements keeps us continually hooked. Its amazing how when we stop this constant straining and pushing we get to see there has always been a loveliness underneath. But from the addicted state we are numb to this simple fact.

     1. Yes, when addicted and in the hardness of pushing and driving, we don’t feel our body anymore and certainly lose connection with our true inner state. Not that it ever goes away, but it is as though it has a wall of concrete all around it.

146. I used to pride myself on how super efficient I was constantly pushing myself to the limit day after day until I ended up with adrenal fatigue…and a lesson learned. These days I enjoy doing things at a sensible pace and always build in extra time between appointments and tasks so as not to overload my body.

     1. That feels very supportive of your body and your overall health, a wise choice indeed.

147. I so recognise this old pattern of trying to cram more in a day and then feeling hyped up and that illusory high of having so much going on. It is a catapult into a way of being that in no way supports us in truth and is a million miles away from stillness and the beauty and harmony we would otherwise feel.

     1. The feeling of being hyped up and totally lost in the euphoria of getting oh, so much done is always followed by a terrible downer in my experience and the whole thing just isn’t worth it at all; that kind of roller coaster existence sucks and is very draining.

148. True, stress makes the body so tight and unpleasantly hot that the stillness is totally covered up, to a point that it is easy to forget that stillness is one of our true qualities.

149. Stress is a convenient stimulation we can choose to use to avoid our natural quality of stillness.

     1. Thank you Marcia – it’s that simple really – I can feel the truth in what you’ve shared.

150. Addiction to stress is just like any other addiction, it takes us away from who we are and it can be used as a method of burying our issues

     1. You are so right – we totally lose ourselves when we go into stress and it doesn’t suit our physiology, which copes as best as it can but always at a price, even if that debt doesn’t get paid for years or decades.

151. Brilliant reminder of how we can get taken over by an unrealistic urge to pack more into time than we truly know is supportive for us. It’s as though we’re always seeking to get to a self-imposed, arbitrary finishing line – by the weekend, by Christmas, by my son’s birthday – just as quickly as possible with everything done, so that we can enjoy an illusory pot-of-gold-at-the-end-of-the-rainbow moment where there’s nothing outstanding, pending, burning or overwhelming. But life doesn’t have this happy ending. It has a happy continuance which requires our happy management, sensibly applied, so we can stay the course with vitality, ready to be on form the next day and the next.

     1. Great points you make and I love how you describe it and bring different images and examples into it – there is no end point, no pot of gold; why do we keep chasing it? Is it an attachment to what we have created and everything that comes with it? And we better keep confirming and chasing it lest we have to realise that it is all smoke and mirrors?

152. Thank you, just what I needed to read this morning, confirming to me that allowing myself to open up to a deeper level of enjoyment with myself is key. I don’t have to do a lot of what I think I have to do and more importantly I do not have to do it in a way that keeps the business, and ‘getting things done’ syndrome in place.

153. I have found that when I am out and about I tend to think of all the things that I can get done before going home and end up running myself raggard. It is the getting things done, a sense of accomplishment that I was looking for. These days I give myself more space in my day, space for me to be more of me.

154. “In order to feel really good about my day and me”. We do things, and like you share sometimes too many things in one day, to feel good about ourselves. It shows how we are identified with the doing and how much we forget that we are already everything. Giving ourselves the space to just be and from that being, doing our things, is such a difference. And no stress….

155. I have also had this experience – in the end it is not about doing less necessarily but about a different rhythm, one that is based on the body and true self care.

156. How cool is that!? You’ve gone from squeezing and creating denseness in the day to appreciating and making divine use of the spaces in between. Is that why we jam pack our days so we don’t have to stop? Because then we might feel something we do not want to feel, like our exhaustion or our heavenly-ness (depending on how we are living).

     1. Great question – what are we really avoiding? It can either be something unpleasant like the exhaustion or it can be something as stupendous as “our heavenly-ness”, even if that sounds downright crazy.

157. Time is always there to support us, yet we can get ourselves in the way and make it tighter then need be. I can certainly relate to the erratic-ness of thinking we need to do more to feel good, like I’m not enough just by doing what is needed so i’ll comprise my sanity to do more! Been there, done that and at times still doing it. Great exposing Gabriele.

     1. Yes, me too: “been there, done that and at times still doing it” – getting identified with my output and concentrating very hard on the apparent lack of time rather than being present with what I am doing. I heard this morning in an interview on ABC Radio National that we can only deal with one thing at a time; and thus, when we are preoccupied with this lack of time and the overwhelm it causes, how focused is our focus and how present is our presence? And what about the quality of our work?

158. Gabrielle, thank you for offering us a stop moment and consider the choices being made on a daily basis. are we running away managing life with nervous energy? or are we choosing to honour our bodies and allow ourselves to feel what is there and move on?

     1. “Managing life with nervous energy”, I appreciate what you have offered here. It can be easy to look for that old familiar way of being where the body feels tight and everything inside is racy – but what now? There is spaciousness and not a bit of nervous energy in sight. What, no more problems? What to do now? Can we really live like that? Yes, we can, most definitely so.

159. And it is a forever ongoing development – I am realising more and more how important those moments in-between different tasks are and how much it supports me when I use them for appreciation and confirmation of who I truly am, way beyond the ticks on my mental to do list.

160. Thank you for this Gabriele – a timely reminder that we create all that will happen in our days and how it will happen. I recently realised that I will make tasks more challenging in order for them not to be as easy as they could be, therefore being able to hide my own abilities with them.

     1. It seems like we will use anything at all to diminish ourselves and complicate our life rather than chose the simplicity of what is on offer every minute of every day.

        1. More and more it is apparent to me that we cannot chose not to return to who we truly are but only to delay it, the strange fact is that we continue to try despite the amount of effort this takes only to be in pain at not being and expressing our true selves.

161. Yes Monica can definitely relate to hiding in busyness but when I choose to connect and feel what is next for me to do it is beautiful to feel how time expands and I am able to do what is required but not lose myself in the process.

162. Thank you Gabriele for dissecting your Friday for us and exposing the drive to cram ever more into an already full day because these traits are so easy to relate to. For so long being stressed was my default position and even though I was aware that I had an almost constant need to overload myself I had not considered it was an addiction but it was and it explains why I have found it so hard to change this behaviour. For me taking responsibility for my well being and putting this before things like pleasing others has been key to breaking this pattern but it still so easily creeps back in if I lose my connection to me and what is needed in the next moment and I am recognising how often I sabotage this and set off on a downward spiral that always ends up with me collapsing exhausted into bed at the end of the day. Appreciating that what I am doing in the moment is just what is needed and not going off into my head has been so supportive with getting rid of my ‘bone’ and it has also been awesome to read everyone’s comments and get lots of lovely insights into this addiction that fuels so much of our current activity.

     1. So true – it can easily creep back in and bite us on the bum if we lose the connection and sell out to all these ideals and beliefs of what we need to achieve and how much we need to do.

163. Thanks Gabriele, you have bought up a subject that I’m sure many, including myself, can relate to. Multi tasking has been something that has always been applauded in my world and I have been a super achiever in terms of staying with things until everything can be crossed off the list as completed. A spare 5 minutes – no problem – that gives me time to do XYZ. Not surprisingly, at the the end of the day all I could feel was exhaustion and fatigue, along with a sense of pride in my achievements. The trouble is that it was all completed in a hard, driven energy. I am learning to let go of that pattern and to more deeply understand how it is distracting me away from bigger issues that are underneath this behaviour – all of which definitely gives my body some space to actually operate within its normal rhythms.

     1. It’s only when we allow ourselves to feel what is really going on in our body and how hard we have become that things like multitasking and crossing everything off the list by evening show their true colours as the self-destructive weapons that they are.

164. There have been quite a few comments regarding the fact that stress and nervous energy can start with the smallest of choices which then spirals out of control as more poor choices in the same vein are added; very true, it becomes a choice between one kind of momentum and another kind of momentum – the first one leads to exhaustion and possibly health problems and the second one leads to more spaciousness and capacity.

165. Hey Jeanette, being late is a sure recipe for anxiousness and, for me it’s also because I am trying to fit in that little bit extra into my day – in fact I sometimes wonder if I avoid being early so I won’t have time to stop and be still. Could it be then that I am addicted to busyness as a way to avoid being with myself?

     1. Thanks for adding that bit about trying to fit extra into your day, for I have discovered over the last few days that I have fallen into doing exactly that myself.It isn’t a great place to be as the anxiousness creeps in further and I then have difficulty connecting back to stillness.Noticing what I am doing is a good start and also not beating myself up about it goes a long way to having less anxiousness! Its horrible what we do to ourselves sometimes but wonderful to have such simple tools as the gentle breath meditation and being consciously present with whatever we do to bring us back.

     2. Not leaving enough time to get somewhere or to finish something is a sure-fire way to anxiousness and tension and it feels horrible, even if we have seemingly gotten used to it as a ‘normal’ way of operating and getting through the day.

     3. I feel we can easily fall into that trap: pretending to not like what is happening whilst taking full advantage of the irresponsibility that scenario provides.

166. Yes Annebroadbent58, it’s good to remember that ‘everything doesn’t need to be done at once’. One of the tricks of my mind is to look at what I have to do in the next few weeks and compress it into a ‘have to’ which suddenly has an urgency that it didn’t have before. Everything gets lumped in together in my mind and I forget that there is actually space within that and I fill the space with anxiousness and don’t know where to begin and that’s when it’s hard to focus on one thing without worrying about how I’m going to get the other things done.

167. Gabriele, I could have been reading about myself here. Your blog has helped me see more clearly how I create stress in my life by trying to squeeze things into the gaps in my day. I hate stress too so why would I deliberately create more? Like you ‘there is a part of me that gets off on being a super achiever’ – but why is this? It’s because I still measure my worth against how much I have done, rather than appreciating who I am, as I am. So what else does my keeping busy do? It distracts me from connecting with myself, which is when I can appreciate how lovely I am. So it’s like a vicious cycle where I am sabotaging myself so I miss the one thing that would banish the self-worth issue.

     1. You bring up a great point here – squeezing things into every gap does stop us from connecting to what is true, steady and unchangeable and therefore perpetuates the cycle of overachieving and looking for recognition from the outside.

168. I have experienced this too – there is a beautiful flow to how and when things get done when I don’t pack so many things into my day and just jump from one goal and tick to the next goal and tick. It is like skipping time and missing out on me as well, showing up a real absence in that way of living.

169. I didn’t realise I would relate as much as I did to your blog, Gabriele! It totally applies to how I often get through my days at the moment, constantly trying to do more, get more done, pack everything in in order to be ‘super efficient’… I find that for me even though sometimes my workload can be very doable, I tell myself I have LOADS to do and stress myself out which makes all the little gaps in the day seem about a millisecond, rather than using them to rest or connect back.

     1. It feels like we can get quite addicted to this state of super functionality as it feeds us back some form of identification and a false sense of self worth entirely based on our output, i.e. on how much we can get done. And as you say, it totally misses all the moments that are not filled with frenzied activity and that, if appreciated and used as an opportunity to connect, provide that lovely sense of spaciousness and ease, no matter how busy we are.

     2. This is such a great conversation and one that exposes how ingrained and seemingly harmless stress can be. Yet the harm is huge as we concrete the momentums of temporary satisfaction and false worth instead of the surrender to who we are just by being with the flow of all there is. This goes far beyond the satisfaction of functionality, it is ever deepening interconnectedness and in this time is on our side and not running against us.

170. I agree with you – stress is self-created and can start with the tiniest little thing that is out of rhythm and then leads to a cascade of complications and ever more stress.

     1. Yes I have experienced what you write here to my cost, just recently. Fortunately I have the beautiful tools of Universal Medicine to support me to connect back and out of that.

     2. Yes it certainly can start from the smallest of poor choices…… And like a spiral, the next poor choice is easier to make…. Followed by the next. There are no accidents in how/ why things turn out the way they do.

171. ‘There is a part of me that gets off on being a super achiever and being super organised, a part of me that gets off on doing more than is necessary in any one day.’ The subsequent addiction of stress associated with being a super person in all that we do to propel us from one day to the next is something we all need to confront and heal.

172. “my mind was like a dog with a bone and didn’t want to let these potentially tantalising achievements go” Oh my Gabriele I know this one in- fact I can feel it with me today- great revelation- I feed stress! it is time for me also to throw away the bone!

173. ‘Addicted to being stressed’ this is such a great title, one that I am sure many of us can relate to, I certainly could. I am a bit of a planner, so like to know that I have time and space to do certain things, because I do not like having to be rushed and then feel stressed. But I have experienced that there is a part of me that likes to have a little bit of urgency thrown into the mix. That when things are going way too well and smoothly, that I actually need to add in lots more tasks so I have to rush to get something complete, or get something done, or get out the door in the morning. I found that there was a comfort in the ‘doing’ and getting stressed out about things. Less so now, but if I do get into that space, I look at why and bring awareness to the reasons.

     1. Great insight, this need “to have a little bit of urgency thrown into the mix” – and just when things are going really well of course but hey presto, what about some stimulation and a bit of self-importance?

     2. ‘I found that there was a comfort in the ‘doing’ and getting stressed out about things’. Raegan, isn’t it crazy how we cling to ‘comfort’ when it’s really far from ‘comfortable’ but we prefer that discomfort because it helps us avoid the day that we step up and take more responsibility for our life.

        1. Oh yes so well summed up here, it does help us to consider why we do what we do. Why is it so easy to stay in comfort and not choose to work on our stuff?

174. Multi-tasking can be a real curse, no matter how widely applauded this capability might be. It basically means that I am in two or three places at once and that there is no presence in any of what I do.

175. Good point – we do everything for a reason even and especially if it is well hidden. Teasing out what we get out of a self-created situation, no matter how unpleasant it might superficially be deemed to be, then addresses the real payback of why we are perpetuating what we can so easily declare we don’t like.

176. It’s a telling description of what so many of us know all to well – the want to do (and therefore ‘be’ more), all of the time. There are practicalities in life that are hard to ignore, there are responsibilities from day-to-day that are even more important. But, having recently felt the significance of how important repose is in our daily life, I’ve started to take a fresh perspective. Quite simply, the ability to leave the gaps for rest and as a type of enjoyable spaciousness, relates directly to my perceived value of self. Why don’t more of us value ourselves enough to enjoy a few spare minutes here and there – for, surely we are worth enjoying even much more than that! I plan to enjoy the gaps and not fill them with any incessant need to produce or achieve more – because there’s always going to be another day for that.

     1. Hey Oliver, I like your ‘fresh perspective’ for the more I enjoy myself the more I enjoy what I do and the day seems to be more spacious because I am being in it, not trying to get everything done so I can then be with me. This brings repose into the action.

     2. Thank you for your insight – I have also found that tightly packing each and every tiny gap in the day leads to raciness and feelings of inadequacy. Inspired by your comment I will be more aware of those moments of appreciation and valuing of self that you describe.

     3. The gaps or moments you talk about are super important – I realised only yesterday how much raciness and anxiety are stirred up in my body when I think about something I have to do before it is time to attend to it; it was quite remarkable and very obvious indeed.

177. A great recipe for defeating the sneakiness of the last minute rush and stress – trying to sabotage and unsettle with the most incredible stories; laughable indeed if we don’t go under, I’ll give laughing at it a try.

     1. Great observation Gabriele!

178. It is great to know that every time we choose to connect and listen to our bodies we create space in our lives where we do what’s needed with an ease and flow to it. Thank you

179. Yes, those ready made answers straight from the top of the head – I know them well; a great arsenal of weaponry to impress, cajole, convince, overpower, enforce and so the list goes on. And yet, that is what I thought was normal only ten years ago. I didn’t like it, especially when I was on the receiving end and when I could feel the hollowness of what was coming out of my mouth, but I didn’t know any better then.

180. I love it. ‘stress is so yesteryear’! And very true what you say here about letting everyone know how stressed we are… a way of making people see how important and ‘good’ we are. When in connection with ourselves, we do not seek out that recognition from others and choose to love ourselves and not put ourself in these stressful, yesteryear situations.

181. Yes I agree, having started a new job I realised pretty quickly that I was using a lot of nervous energy to learn the job quickly. When I saw this, I just stopped it, told myself to let go of this expectation of myself. I now sleep super well and enjoy my work day immensely.

     1. Hi Michelle, I agree it is almost as if we get addicted to living with nervous energy as we know we get things done no matter what and we don’t get to feel what’s there to be felt at that moment but this is all at the expense of our bodies until we choose to reconnect with ourselves and feel what’s there without judgment.

     2. Such a simple recipe for living a much more joyful and rich life – just goes to show how hard we can push ourselves, more than any parent, teacher or boss ever could if truth be told.

     3. And the way you are with your colleagues and clients/customers would have immensely improved as well – sounds like there is actually space to truly meet everybody you come in contact with.

182. I really enjoyed reading this very familiar story. Our minds can be such task masters but when we stop and feel what is truly right for us, everything gets done with ease when done in the rhythm which we have felt.

     1. I have found this as well: forget about parents, teachers, coaches or anybody else you care to name, we are easily our own worst enemies when it comes to self-judgment and cracking the whip.

183. Ah this is a gem of a blog, when we start to realise that stress and drama is a result of our penchant to them we are able to shift the pattern which keeps us repeating them.

184. I can really relate to this Monicag2. Hiding in the comfort of business to avoid connecting and truly feeling where I am at. Crazy really as the feeling of connection and presence with myself beats busyness hands down. What are we hiding from?

185. A day when everything is set for great flow set adrift by adding more things in to the mix. Much the same as a wonderfully simple soup overloaded on a whim to add more when less was more. This addiction to stress and needing to feel a little under pressure is a badge I have often worn to cram more into my busy life. None of the end results were pretty, joyful, harmonious or true.

     1. Awesome analogy of the soup Lee. As if I haven’t done that before. always trying to add more to everything no matter what it is. It’s time I stood back…asked myself if more is needed and then choose to stop.

186. It is confronting to face up to this fact that we are the ones instigating this stress, and deeper than that we are actually addicted to this sensation. Yet that is absolutely my experience too Gabriele. What you present turns ‘stress busting’ on its head. What if we actually create all the issues we face in life? What if it is all just not true?

     1. Yes I too can admit to actively being a party to my own self- sabotage on many occasions. I set things up to be in conflict with simplicity. Thank you Gabriele for reminding me of how nothing happens by chance, we create it all.

     2. Good point – and very simple statement at the same time: if we are indeed the creators of all our issues (and how real are they really?) then we are also the ones who are responsible for resolving them. And it all starts with honesty and responsibility.

        1. Yes the responsibility lays squarely with us and what we align to.

     3. Great comment Joseph. I can relate to all that Gabrielle has written and so realise that that I need to ask myself more questions around what is actually going on. While acknowledging there are many different tasks/events/incidents etc that I can say cause me to be busy and thus stressed, the reality is that I am the common denominator and therefore the buck stops with me.

187. Today I can also admit that ‘There is a part of me that gets off on being a super achiever and being super organised, a part of me that gets off on doing more than is necessary in any one day’. ouch…

188. Yes it’s true… We can actually be addicted to certain forms of behaviour that keep certain levels of chemicals being released in our body… That we are addicted to. We are addicted to certain forms of behaviour that stop us feeling who we actually are… Many people will do anything to not feel. To reconnect with ourselves so that we start to know who we are, is the doorway to the realisation of who we truly are and what we are here to do.

     1. It is a fact that through stress and hurrying chemicals are being released in our body. I really don’t understand how I could be addicted to something that feels so bad.

        1. Could it be that we are addicted to things that make us feel bad because we get something in return? In the case of stress that would be the recognition from others for going the extra mile, for being seen to be super busy or to have an excuse for not attending to things outside the confines of the stressful situation.

189. I feel it is a mixture of both, the identification with a certain image of ourselves as productive and ‘good’, or even ‘outstanding’ plus the adopted inability to attend to things in a timely manner.

190. This is such a great article, thank you Gabriele. I have discovered the exact same thing for myself and I am in the process of lightening the load which means lightening up and bringing the joy back in – enjoying the spaciousness and flow and what is amazing is that this has a sense of order, a natural order all of it’s own.

     1. “A natural order all of its own” is a great way of describing what happens when we stop being driven by outcomes and goals at the expense of the connection to our body and the quality of our doing.

191. Something changes very profoundly once we know it is about rhythm and how supportive that is – things start to flow and the tendency to take on more than we can handle lessens, but as always, it is a work in progress and requires forever more flow and harmony.

192. Multi tasking can be a real trap and easily leaves me scattered and having to attend to these things again because I was not fully present in the first place; and thus, instead of being able to tick tasks off my list it actually takes me more time picking them up and finalising them. Not great on all counts!

     1. It is a trap Gabriele. I have always felt the truth in the saying; if you don’t have the time to do right the first time… when will you find the time to come back and fix it later.

193. I suspect this is more common than we imagine… certainly I have exactly the same pattern! There is a nuance here though – yes the way I ‘set myself up’ leads to clipping time, being a bit late or having to drive a little faster to that appointment (because I could turn the washing just as I was stepping out the door). These sorts of reflexes definitely crowd the spaces. However, I do find that there is an enormous amount of time and space available in any day, for reading, commenting on the world, the washing (!) – these pockets of time are often wasted, but always available… the trick is not tripping ourselves up and making sure that inside we always have that feeling of time and space.

     1. Yes, I agree – there is always time, it never leaves us and it doesn’t run out or away; we just think it does and in the process we mutilate and squander and don’t appreciate it for what it represents and offers.

194. Great blog, Gabriele. This is the same pattern I ran my life for many years – filling every moment with a task, so as not to ‘waste’ time. I ended up in exhaustion and overwhelm & have learned that it is me who put these stresses on myself. As you share, when you choose to do what feels true, there is always time for everything.

195. This is the most perfect post for me to read over and over again. ‘…my mind was like a dog with a bone and didn’t want to let these potentially tantalising achievements go…’ Me ALL over. not being able to give up the potentially LONG list of things I could physically do in a day! I’ve experiemented with letting time be time a couple of times before…and I have to say, it has worked stupendously. It’s now just a case of me further implementing that approach and slowly allowing it to takeover my current ‘madness’ approach. Why wouldn’t I choose this??

196. I know this feeling too well, packing my day full and it is never enough which means my day is never completed and or appreciated, one of the consequences of being stressfull. Never thought about it as an addiction but you are right I am so used to the feeling of this tension in my body that it seems to be part of me. The other day I could feel’ hey this is not you, feel it but do not go into it and my body presented me another picture, the joy came back and I could feel this quality in what I was doing.

     1. You make a very valuable point when you write that packing a day full to the hilt in the pursuit of ticking all the boxes on our list leads to a lack of appreciation and the feeling of incompletion at the end of the day – it demonstrates that we rip ourselves off twice, first when we go into overdrive and then again when the day closes; and possibly even thrice as we take that same drive into the following day.

197. Gosh I know so well what you are writing about, this was very common in my life sometimes to felt this urge to pack more things into a well structured day, and to make me more efficient and get more done. Where I am at now is that I do know that there is lots to do, but I just go simple, I just do the most important view things what needs to be done first. I make space for paper work and laundry and garden work, I have it on the radar, and when I feel that I want to go in the garden I just do it and it is not a big deal. The rest gets looked at tomorrow or when I feel that I want to do it. I am much more at ease with my life as I used to be always on the go and run and never was it enough time.

     1. You describe a very lovely rhythm where things that need doing first are attended to first, one task by one task by another task. A no-brainer really, after all you can’t land a plane before you have even taken off, and everything follows this order. Why do we hang on to this idea that we can cheat here?

198. Reading this today reminded me of how my mother always used to applaud me for being busy. In fact for many people whom I knew busy-ness was a marker of how well you were doing. I would hear ” It’s better than being bored” and “It will keep you out of trouble”. Well if I am present with what I am doing it is impossible to be bored and rather than keeping me out of trouble being more busy than is true for me, as you have shown here, leads to stress and most definitely a feeling of being troubled and of course that can affect our health, not only emotionally or mentally but physically too. Squeezing just that little bit extra into the day can, and usually does in my experience, lead to trouble and I lose the enjoyment and quality that I would otherwise bring to my tasks and my relationships.

     1. Yes, I agree with you – I also remember being applauded for being busy, from very early on. And it certainly is true for today’s children, some of whom have timetables like little executives with all the after school activities, all just to make sure that they have a secure and successful future – does that suggest that all these extracurricular instructions and lessons are based on fear and insecurity?

        1. Yes busyness gains recognition from an early age. I was very clear with my daughter that I did not want her rushing from one after school activity to the next (and I didn’t want to be a constant taxi service!) but could still at times feel the pressure of ‘was I doing the right thing’? or ‘was I just being lazy’?. It felt that a lot of the activity was fear based and it is interesting that now my daughter is a nanny and she sometimes feels under pressure to be out with her charges at an activity rather than following her feeling that they need some down time at home.

199. Your blog made me laugh Gabriele because I was visualising you doing this. I loved the ‘dog with a bone’ analogy and the realisation that creating space to feel, appreciate and enjoy ourselves in all that we do IS the real deal.

     1. The analogy of the dog with the bone has been very real, it is an obsessional kind of quality that just wants to have its way, no matter what and no matter the consequences of how I feel or physically affects the body. It sounds crazy and it is.

        1. Yes it sounds crazy but I do know this affect in my body, too. Great to name these things that feel really ridiculous.

200. You show beautifully Gabriele how in addiction we can turn the most self-loving activity to its very opposite. Very cool how through focusing on the quality you felt, which did not add up, you gave yourself a moment to stop to end this cycle that was repeating for you.

201. I love how you speak with such simplicity at the end. Like “this is what I did, it felt great as I simply did what felt right” and “doing more than is necessary in any one day.” I have felt similar situations like you describe here, and it is a great marker!

202. hmmm its scary how much I can relate to this blog. I’m guilty for ‘getting off’ on being super effective and cramming as much as I can into a day. I measured the worth of my day by what proactive things I achieved and how many I could achieve in 25 hours.

     However I’ve learnt that the success of a day is how we are in every moment. I like to refer to how I am when I first wake up because I’m generally at my best/clearest then and see if I was able to maintain that level of connectiveness for the entire day.

     1. What you have written here Luke rings in me. I was a person standing totally under stress and I learn now how much I am able to use time in a supportive way, in not limiting me but giving me reflection about how and in which quality I spend my day. The courses and workshops with Universal Medicine are supporting me in understanding more deeply that it is not about pressure and how much I can fit in the day but about the quality I am with myself and others and how I approach and accomplish what needs to be done.

        1. Very true…. time is a marker that allows us to reflect. It is a tool that is very useful and is not our enemy. It is a great asset and I’m slowly learning…. in time 😉

     2. Beautifully put Luke – ‘the success of a day is how we are in every moment’

203. I really loved your blog Gabriele, I can so relate to wanting to fill more into the day. In times past the sense of getting so much done in a day, felt rewarding, that was when I wasn’t aware of the stress my body was under. I would often in the past after an esoteric healing session stop and do various things on the way home, until I really got to feel how dishonouring this was to my body. Now I am more aware to take the time and be gentle with myself and rest if need be.

     1. It is incredible to what degree we have become used to overriding what the body is feeling for the sake of efficiency and the ticking of boxes. But once you become aware of it, you also become aware of the physical coldness and tightness that ensue and it just feels too horrible to want to continue in the same way.

204. Stress on the body is quite damaging, but is a feeling that can be easily adopted in life as ‘normal’. It’s even advertised as being an everyday existence and there are all sorts of remedies to ‘fix the stress’, usually a pill or a drink. Stress is not a normal part of life and the body knows it.

     1. Yes, good point and about time that the myth about stress being useful or okay in any way gets debunked; it is harming for the body and taxes it enormously. But it is easy to get addicted to it because it can provide the needed fuel to keep pushing on and driving ourselves hard and harder.

205. So true Gabriele & Joshua. When we try to plan and optimize things the result will be stress. But if we choose to simply let things unfold and focus on what really is needed to be done, there will be time and space – and often so much of it that more things get done with ease than we thought might be possible.

     1. Lovely to feel this Michael as the planning and optimising has a constricted tight quality and the simply letting things unfold and bringing focus to what is needed has a spacious, joyful ease about it.

206. I know this very well Gabriele, the moment there seems to be a little gap in my day, I want to squeeze something in, not so much because it is needed but because I want to be more efficient and make the most of my time. I am not good in doing nothing, there tends to be this driving force that wants me to get going and I really need to stop myself and very consciously say No to it. It is like an addiction to stress or nervous tension.

207. Yes, I agree it is about creating space not trying to keep up with or beating time so to speak. I so relate to trying to cram in as much as possible as if its some kind of achievement and yet creating so much stress in the mean time, just does not make sense!

     1. I agree – the more I try to cram things in, the more time gets squeezed and narrowed. It also then gets confirmed as something that I do not have enough of which can lead to a pattern of cramming more in and being hasty, a vicious circle if there ever was one.

208. Interesting to consider the difference that is at times present concerning what we do think and what we feel. We all can get into habits that do not support us and it is wonderful to become aware of them and share this awareness in an article such as this.

209. Agree Gabriele, I use nervous energy more than I care to admit to get things done, things can be running along smoothly and then suddenly something out of the ordinary happens and I immediately go into nervous energy to complete the task. The interesting thing is I choose to go into that state when it is just as easy and more loving for me to do what is needed without the raciness I go into. There is a part of me that enjoys that feeling, I am feeling it is time to let go of this pattern as it does not truly support me or nurture me. Thank you for your honesty it has allowed me to admit this pattern I go into and begin to make different choices.

     1. I have found that raciness and nervous tension can be like default positions and knee-jerk reactions and becoming aware of how they don’t serve us at all is the first step to disengaging from this harmful behaviour.

210. I am wondering whether it is not just the ‘shoulds’ we get caught up in but also the nervous energy circulating in the body that then provides the extra fuel, until it runs out of course and we realise how artificially pumped up the whole situation really has been.

     1. Spot on Gabrielle… I can start out feeling awesome, motoring through my day with all the time and space in the world yet being super efficient. But if I don’t pay attention to myself and lose connection to how I am feeling then I start to plough on through, wanting the same efficiency but starting to push and compromise on the quality. Then 1, 2, 3 days down the line I wake up feeling wrecked, and so far from that original feeling… Its easy enough to reset, but wouldn’t it be awesome if I learnt from this pattern and chose something different!

211. Reading your blog really opened my eyes to the addictive nature of stress. I too claim to dislike being stressed but constantly find myself overfilling my day which causes the very thing I want to avoid. Awareness is the key and your sharing is a really amazing example of how important it is to be true to your own rhythm instead of ‘trying’ to get things done.
     I notice that ‘trying’ is a word constantly used in our culture, it makes everything seem like hard work, when replaced with the word ‘choosing’ it sounds less of an effort and more of an unfolding.

212. I love the flow you chose Gabriele.

213. Doing more to delay one particular thing – ‘Honoring mself first’. Pure gold Suzanne Cox!

214. Super blog to read Gabriele, and I loved this question;’ why was it so hard to just do what I knew felt so right’? I know this well, for me my habit of disregared and self neglect kept me choosing the same old, even though I wanted to make other choices but somehow I couldn’t – those old patterns were so ingrained…. with support of an esoteric practitioner, I have cleared and healed old hurts that created space and awareness for me to choose differently – loving choices that truly supports my body.

215. Gabriele thank you so much for this revealing blog and I have to say that I am addicted too. These words got me: “There is a part of me that gets off on being a super achiever and being super organised, a part of me that gets off on doing more than is necessary in any one day.” My parents were both like this and it is for me so normal to be a hard worker. I love what you wrote and it helped me to understand more about this addiction – yes it is not easy to be not an achiever because with achieving I got something from myself – recognition and I could say to myself that I was not lazy and that counts more then feeling good in my body . . . that is not wunderbar at all.

216. Yes, and I need to keep reminding myself of that; I only need to attend to what is at the door, not to things that I pull in from the future in order to supposedly lessen tomorrow’s or next week’s load – that totally throws my rhythm out and leads to exhaustion and chaos. Thanks for the timely reminder.

217. Ah, now that is gold – thank you for the reminder to honour myself first before I go head on into whatever, as long as it is something to do. Ouch!

     1. Big ouch it is. Thanks Gabriele for uncovering this set up with your light and easy writing.

218. It’s great feeling great, I too used to pack the day to fill all the spaces!

219. This makes so much sense, being stressed, rushed and busy is such a normal part of many peoples every day lives, it’s easy to blame life, but we are the ones making choices all the time about how are days are, and could easily choose to simplify life, allowing us to enjoy it more? Yet, we constantly make choices to keep going full throttle…
     I love how you shared such a seemingly insignificant choice in your day that made the difference between stress coming in or not, a great reminder for me to watch out for those choices and ask myself if it’s truly supportive, needed and keeping things simple.

220. Thank you Gabriele. I love what you have shared as I have found this to be true for me also. I have often been known to load my day up too, because I had championed myself as being super-efficient, however I was also super-exhausted from being super-racy. So I did often achieve fulfilling the list of tasks of the day but was also left feeling unfulfilled within myself. I have learned, and am still learning, that it is about honoring the quality of being rather than quantity of doing. With this way I have found so much more joy and space in the day, and what needs to be done gets done with more presence, ease and flow.

     1. So true – honouring the quality of being rather than the quantity of doing; in my experience and rediscovering this bit by bit, when the former gets taken care of, the latter looks after itself.

221. Totally mad! I can’t believe how often I create stress in my life – being late is a killer for me – each day I promise it will be the last time. But it creeps in somewhere the next day. Now after reading this, I am making the true commitment to reducing creating stressful situations in my life.

     1. Well said Gina. I feel to also recommit to reducing creating stressful situations in my life by firstly preparing myself more lovingly and when the energy is there to do the thing that needs to get done I will endeavor to do it there and then.

222. I loved re-reading this blog Gabriel. How many times have I experienced what you speak about! So many – something comes in left of field to offset a really smooth day that feels to be promised with so much connection and flow. It feels like two things to me – first, a sabotage to stop me being in my full potential and second a hanging on to behaviours to feel better about myself by achieving so much. If I hold off the urge to squeeze in more I feel totally awesome about myself as opposed to if I make the choice to strive to make myself feel better by doing something extra, I feel less.

     1. That’s a great revelation – when you squeeze something in to feel better for having done it, you actually end up feeling less. I was just about to do something that I don’t need to get done until tomorrow lunch time, something I can then be proud of and give myself a pat on the shoulder for; I will definitely give that a miss now and observe how I feel as the evening unfolds, thank you.

223. This is a great reminder of how often we try to fit more into our day so that we feel better when we look at our list of ‘achievements’, but have over ridden our body and put ourselves into stress in order to do it. It was beautiful how you honoured what your body was telling you, and that you still got everything done… but without the stress.

     1. So true, it is a great way to live life more fully and with joy.

224. Yes, I agree – honesty about what we are actually doing to ourselves is the first step and everything else then develops from there.

225. A part of me says I hate getting into stressed or emotional situations – but like you shared Gabriele there is a part of me that is addicted to it, a part that needs it otherwise why repeat something I say I hate? Being honest about the fact that there is a part of me that actually loves these situations feels more settled than running around pretending that I hate those situations yet do nothing to stop myself going into them. I feel that being honest about WHY I am using these emotions is the next step.

226. There’s a tendency for me to leave things to the last minute before getting on with it. Stress is a great provider of energy, or so we think. It’s actually a vicious cycle because it exhausts you, then you need it to pep you up to complete the next task, so you leave that till the last minute. Kinda bonkers!

     1. Sure is, it’s insanity but we keep going back for more.

     2. Agreed Jinya.. it’s like we need to feel the ‘pressure’ before we pull our socks up and get on with what we need to do but it lacks all quality. I had a friend say to me that to get through all of her work and study, she strives on anxiety… and said it like it was a good thing as she gets so much done. Very bonkers!

227. Gabriele, I’m a bit speechless….you’ve described me in an absolute nutshell. Make as big a list as possible and turn the day into a game and see how many things you can cross off by the end and then feel some sort of achievement as you slump into the couch completely and utterly exhausted because of the game you were playing which you realise was only with yourself and what were you trying to prove anyway? Big deal, crossed some stuff off a list that could have been done in a far less anxious state over a few days, with the same result but all done in a much calmer energy that would not completely drain you.

     1. Yes, and are we addicted to the drama and the rush of adrenaline – what is really going on here?

228. This is an awesome reminder to give ourselves the space and feel the benefits of letting go of the gap filling, ‘potentially tantalising achievements’ on our never ending to do list. It is so easy to forget that when we honour ourselves like you did here, more space is always provided to get things done and not at our expense.

229. The wonders as they happen – the part of us that doesn’t seem to care much about us being well seems to need a firm hand at times. Lovingly as always but it shouldn’t be running the show.

230. We are our own worst enemies when it comes to being busy. I have recently been caught out thinking that I needed to work over overtime to have things ready for the next contractor on my house. After working late for a few evenings after work I had it ready but there was a hold up with the contractor. The extra hours were not in vain as they had to be done at some stage but I pushed myself to the extreme and was caught up in the stress/anxiety of it all, I quite simply could have done the extra work when I could fit it in and have the contractor come in then. Two words I am learning to live are trusting and allowing, much easier on the body than control.

     1. Similar to Gabriele, there used to be a part of me that enjoyed running myself ragged, ‘no matter how strongly I might verbally state the opposite’. As you say Tony, “two words I am learning to live are trusting and allowing, much easier on the body than control”. Have found that ‘trusting’ and ‘allowing’ are the keys to not getting caught up in stress and anxiety and to letting go of the need to push and control.

        1. When I try to control a situation an obstacle quite often gets in the way, if I allow that situation to unfold it nearly always runs smoothly. Do I try to control a situation because it gives me the recognition / satisfaction that I have made it happen?

231. I understand what your saying Gabriele, I think Im also addicted to stress and I recognise and take on board the methods you have used to eliminate stress

232. Thank you so much Gabriele! I know that nervous rush that you speak of, it is a bit of an addiction. When that happens I usually get a sudden feeling to stop and say “something has to go” this makes my day a lot easier. It’s letting go of that expectation that busyness is a good thing. But I don’t feel so great when i’m so busy doing stuff and I have no time to stop and feel how i’m going.

233. haha I love this as that’s the kind of day I would make for myself all the time!! It kept me in a stress for so long that when I was out of stress I wasn’t sure what to do with myself. Nowadays I am putting all I need to do in a calendar so it’s clear what I actually have the time for and allowing me to have the space needed for all my activities, it really helps.

234. Gabriele thank you for sharing this as I too can feel how I have had a pattern of creating my own stress inspired of not being too fond of it. Slowly with developing more self-care and self-love this pattern has changed but when it does slip in I can feel the impact on my body and the flow of my day. You blog is a great reminder to bring an even greater awareness to what I choose to do in each day.

235. Thank you Gabrielle… what is pernicious is how anxiousness and stress is so hidden in our everyday life, and it does take every-day livingness to really start to let go of it .

     1. I agree, it takes the everyday Livingness and it takes honesty to firstly become aware of anxiousness and stress and then it takes ongoing commitment and awareness to not have that in our body anymore.

     2. True cjames2012, we could be operating with our heads just 1 step ahead of our bodies, and not feeling the tension this causes. It takes a real commitment to be present with what we are doing and to enjoy our lovely selves.

236. So can relate to what you have shared here Gabriele. We so definitely are our own worst enemy. Sitting here writing this I can feel how still I feel within, yet there is a raciness in my body, a direct result of how I have allowed my body to be driven today, not necessarily to get things achieved, for me tonight it feels more like a direct result of allowing something other that the stillness I feel inside to influence my day. Very revealing, yucky to feel, yet honoring to feel, as this is not how I have been feeling as I go into my evenings for a while. Will definately take more note tomorrow, to feel where this is happening and what the trigger is.

     1. It is astonishing how we can be sitting seemingly still, but inside the raciness goes on. It takes a bit of commitment to start noticing and tracking it rather than consigning it to ‘what is normal’. It definitely is not natural and I agree, it feels awful once we let ourselves feel it.

        1. Amazingly said Gabriele!

237. Gabrielle, I just love your discoveries in self-love. They are truly pleasure to read.

238. Great to stop and read this article and not stress about all the things I ‘have to do’. At present I have a painful back and so my body is making it very clear that I have to take it easy and care for myself. I am noticing all the things that I thought ‘had to be done’ can be done in a different way or allow others to help me – and this doesn’t make me a wimp!

239. Gorgeous blog Gabrielle. I can so relate to how the mind can work in a way they is counter to what you feel in your body. What a great revelation to realise you were addicted to the stress of filling up your day with more things to do instead of allowing time to expand and for life to flow with you.

240. Great insight, and calling that disrespectful energy “I’ll just do this – I’ll just do that moments” really shows up how easily we can let ourselves get trapped by this dishonesty of doing a few more things in haste and raciness, rather than understanding and accepting what is being called for, the connection back to the body and its clarity and honesty.

241. I really enjoyed reading this Gabriele – I call them my ‘I’ll just moments’ – I’ll just do this – I’ll just do that. Such an old addictive pattern to quickly fall into – Now I have my aha! moments as soon as I feel the old ways try to kick in – I go into slow down mode and just feel where I am at in my body. The stress to perform is getting much less.

242. I know this feeling of been “super-woman” having made everything in one day. Not to mention, that things obviously do not need to be done all at once. The reward of having done everything “even beside the other things” thinking it was still loving to do so is truly a trap for me. If I would feel what I do – I would maybe not get the super-woman feeling at the moment of checking the list – but a loving feeling in my body that I hadn’t put it to the tension of doing all at one time. And therefore need a rest. Then my rest can be the fresh start for an even more powerful day.

     1. Yes, I agree – it is very easy to get off on the ‘super woman feeling’ whilst totally ignoring the messages the body is sending out continuously.

243. Thank you Gabrielle. It is the tenaciousness of the momentum of the patterns of our thoughts that is so devastating isn’t it. There are trains of thoughts that people allow or choose to keep going, all the lives, to the point where they think that these patterns are them. It is again one of the most powerful aspects of what Universal Medicine presents is that it is possible, and very simply, to’ derail’ these powerful momentums so they are no longer running us, and we can feel the rhythm of our true connection

     1. I agree – the momentum of our thought patterns is very strong indeed and the only way to change them at their roots is to live a different way, to do life differently and simply, as presented and inspired by the Way of the Livingness.

244. how simple Gabriele. I find the moment I make things complicated it causes me to become stressed, packing too much into my day to then marvel at how efficient I am and how much I am doing is a trick of mine also but one that I am increasingly aware of.

245. Thank you for sharing your story Gabriele – I can relate exactly. For me I could feel how it was from an early age that I defined myself by how much I could do and this was directly associated with how much I could push my body. This came from sport also – the more I could push my body the more recognition I got and the more committed I was seen as. Life as presented through the Ageless Wisdom is about the quality of our expression or ‘livingness’ – and hence our day and rhythm is governed by a connection to our inner-heart and an honoring of our body. This is a much more intelligent way of living and funnily enough a more productive one! Perhaps I will write a blog about that..

246. Great blog Gabriele and I love how you broke this up. So often we can be our own worst enemy with things. The awareness you bought to ‘what was going on’ for you and then the space that opened up is something I also have experienced. It makes no sense to everything we know, you say ‘no’ to things and do truly what you feel and then you have more time? Universal Medicine has shown me by living by what you are feeling that this is not only possible but a fact. It is an easier and easier thing to do because we always feel things so it’s not something I had to learn but I just needed to bring more awareness to the actual feeling and not play roles, stress out or run around. I love what you have presented to us here Gabriele thank you.

247. A great reflection and something I too can do to myself. I’m learning to feel more into how I am structuring my day and how certain decisions I make lead to me rushing or stressing or just trying to do too much. Thanks for the reminder to stop and feel what is going on – rather than planning my day from my head.

248. Wow what an awesome eye opener Garbielle, I create stress by having a huge to do list and feeling like I am always behind and not doing enough. I had not fully realised that this is something I create myself, something I actually need, to keep me from experiencing the fact that life can indeed be easy and joyful and to keep myself hidden in the belief of being inadequate.

249. I find it can be very sneaky how I can let stress seep into my life, especially when I feel great and ready for anything. There is certainly a need for drama that I have noticed. I enjoyed reading your blog Gabrielle as it reminded me that it is necessary and caring to not pile the pressure on myself but give myself the time to live in accordance to how my body feels.

250. When I loose my presence and I have a busy working day ahead I start to get stressed because I think of all the things I have to do. When I stay with me I know I can get everything done with a outstanding quality and a lot of joy and it all depends how I start my day.

251. I can so relate to what you are saying Gabriele! Some times it can feel that we are not working hard enough if we are not stressed -this can be the norm for many work places and I really try to not buy into this. I am working on allowing the day to unfold as it may and accepting that what is presented to me is what is needing to be done. In this unfoldment when the workload looks big and I stay with myself things happen to the workload to make it more manageable- the magic of God!

252. I do a similar thing, usually in the mornings. Recently I’ve been more aware of when I am making a choice to do something that can either be left until later or is bringing stress and anxiety into my day.

253. I can completely relate to this, only in ways other than stress. Thank you Gabriele – very enlightening.

254. Wow, great that you saw the pattern and chose differently Gabriele. It is a great reminder for me as I can fall into this pattern too …

255. Boy oh boy are your sharing about a topic I can relate to personally. I also hear so many coach clients speak about this as well. Great to realize what I created for myself: business, tension, pressure to get the list done hoping I would feel good about myself also because of being a bit scared of the simplicity that is there if I don’t work ‘hard’ or do a lot of things. Another interesting question is why did (or do) I create this or what did it bring me? It covers up a lack of appreciation and self-worth. Getting a lot done and achieving made me feel good about myself. I have discovered the importance of the way I start my day, the rhythm I do things in makes all the difference. If I start feeling I am important I tend to rush less and don’t put too much in the day.

256. Awesome blog Gabriele, thank you for your great reflections, I didn’t realise that despite what I say to the contrary (not liking to be stressed) I too like to push myself to the limit and be a super achiever packing too much into one day. On deeper reflection it feels that only then I can appreciate myself and feel my self worth by measuring it by what can achieve – rather then feel my tenderness as a man and my amazingness, by simply being me, then express that in the day, bringing all of the amazing me, to all that I do.

257. Gosh what a great understanding you came to Gabriele -how stress in our life is actually a choice. I know the feeling, being in flow and than suddenly having the ‘great’ idea of doing even more, which often results in going out of the flow and into tension and stress. So revealing!

258. I get caught in this one too Gabrielle. I definitely get a buzz out of getting caught up in the busyness of a busy day and then re-playing it by talking about it – not just once but a few times – just to cement it in a little more. I have just had 2 vastly different days at work – one where we were fully staffed, but crazy with emotional ups and downs where I was working (which actually fed the crazy) and then in contrast today, understaffed and a work to be done approach, without pushing, busy but no crazy and super easy.

259. We can indeed be our worst stressors.
     What I have found important is to let go of my old mentality of making plans and lists for everything days in advance.
     Accepting that there are days where – according to old standards – a lot will find the space to get done and that there are days where other things or simply resting will be needed, has been difficult at first, but very helpful and supporting. The funny thing the less I plan and judge myself for the amount of work I get done, the more I get done in the same amount of time. Cool. :o)

     1. I have noticed that as well – the easier I am in and with myself and the less I push and cajole, the more space there is and the more I actually get done, and all without effort, strain and the inevitable exhaustion.

260. What a very relevant post, this is how my life used to be, I can so relate. This is a very old and strong pattern, time to throw it out as you say.

261. Awesome blog Gabriele. At the beginning when you were explaining what you were doing in your day I was like ‘whoa! All that in one day!’ And then you talked about adding more ! Haha

     1. Yes, it is a crazy merry-go-round, going forever faster and swallowing us up in its momentum whilst we try to keep the upper hand and control the situation. It just doesn’t work, but that needs to be called out, like so much that is considered ‘normal’.

        1. Agreed. Things that are normal that should not be considered normal at all…

262. “There is a part of me that gets off on being a super achiever and being super organised, a part of me that gets off on doing more than is necessary in any one day” – I can totally relate to this, Gabrielle. There is a desire to control the process and its outcome, and unwillingness to trust the others’ involvement or contribution. This blog is a great reminder for me that there is an easier way to spend the day. Thank you.

263. I know when I am truly connected because time and space opens and expands (as you observe), and no matter what’s on the list of things to do, they all seem to get done eventually. Thank-you for your reflection Gabriele.

264. Thank you Gabriele, a very poignant read at a time when I know I need to nurture my own time management! I can feel how holding un-realistic expectations at what can be done in a day is like an addiction, a need to have something to feel stressed, pressured, important about. A very wise and lovely friend said yesterday, “its really simple, just respond to what is needed.” Great advice, just got to put that into living practice!

     1. Thankyou Rowena for taking Gabriele’s great blog to a more expanded understanding. I so relate to the squeezing so much in the day is an addiction – of things to be done to feel important – I have been on that wagon for soooo long.Just reading your comment and seeing how I do that too feels like the start of releasing myself from this addiction. I love how Gabriele had plenty of space for her shopping and washing the next day after she gave herself more space for her jobs and a break the day before. When we choose to get off the ‘ to do list’ treadmill, space really does open up for what is needed in the day.

265. Gorgeous Gabriele. A little bit of insight into myself. I love being efficient and enjoy the “being on a roll”. But a little discerning wouldn’t go astray as to whether my plans are supportive. I often fear I will run out of time and so I have everything planned efficiently. I don’t leave much space for time to expand.

266. Great example of honouring yourself Gabriele. It’s wonderful to see how it all worked out beautifully when you did as a simple confirmation of what you’d chosen for you. Love it.

267. Beautiful blog Gabriele, I love how you have observed yourself and how the honesty has helped you say no to yourself and know that it’s enough, no need to pack more into your day. It is so easy to get caught in this one – I know it well.

268. I so do recognise how I pack my day and have a plan for every minute in it. It is so refreshing to read that after letting go of all the extra stuff that it just happened so easily the other day. I can really see how complex it gets to fully pack your day.

269. So you know all along what was right to do that Friday, but your mind wanted to complicate it. I too have realised that to honour the day is to honour self. Truly lovely and truly rhythmic when we allow ourselves and the day to work together in harmony.

270. I had to smile, when I read this blog – so many times!!! Maybe it is a German thing. 😀
     Great how you revealed what you actually thought and how you in reality otherwise acted on it. I will remember this next time I feel like a dog with a bone 🙂 Thank you!

271. Great insight Gabriele – what we say is not always what we mean. I loved how you exposed your addiction in a way to being super efficient which led to stress even though you had convinced yourself that being stressed was not something you wanted in your life.

272. Oh Dear!
     Fantastic read, I kept thinking “this is me too!” You are so right too about when you let the push or urgency to fit more in go- time expands and there is more space.

273. I can recognise myself in your blog Gabriele. I still catch myself trying to cram more into a day, particularly the days when I’m not at work and I have to juggle not only my own ‘to do’s’ but those of my son. Thank you for giving me a moment of reflection to appreciate that my wellbeing is more important that achieving as many tasks as I can.

274. I loved reading your blog – I know this is an old pattern of mine I can play out at times, trying to fit too much into the day and the stress and anxiety I feel from this drive. Thanks Gabriele for the gentle reminder to stay present – and the power felt from making a different choice.

275. Mmm…yes, I know this very well Gabriele. I am a master of filling the day, gaps and all. I love your revelation that you were your greatest stressor – when I fall back into this old pattern, which I do from time to time, I will remember your wise words:)) So interesting and revealing and true, how our choices really do affect how we feel.

276. A great blog Gabrielle and one I can very much relate to. This ‘doing’ and need to be busy to feel our worth is a hard nut to crack. But as you beautifully illustrate when we surrender to how our body and feel, events and time just flow and we realise that the washing can always wait until tomorrow.

277. I am really familiar with this addiction to stress you describe, and running myself ragged. Some days my body aches with all the over pushing and piling on of more jobs into any tiny gap throughout the day. It is exhausting, and never satisfying. The biggest challenge I have is in allowing myself to stop and rest, this to me is linked in with having a strong sense of self worth or not, because whenever I question if I am worth the time and the space to stop and rest, the answer is always a big yes – and the more I say it, the more normal it feels to choose it. So, I have come to approach this area of my life as practise, no perfection in sight, just a continual development.

278. It is crazy how we try to squeeze everything in our day. When I go to my work I create space in my morning to not get stressed but I always find something that needs to be done just before I have to leave the house with as a result I have to rush and get stressed. Gabrielle thanks for your inspiration to feel into the patterns of ‘enjoying’ stress.

279. Gabriele, I see myself in this, trying to find satisfaction in ticking the lists, finding more things to add… Thank you for sharing your realisations.

280. Gabriele, I see myself in this, trying to find satisfaction in ticking the lists, finding more things to add… Thank you for sharing your realisations.

281. Wow, gracefully exposing of the ways in which I live my life too. Though in my case it is not always the cramming in of extra ‘to dos,’ but the ‘leaving to another day’ that compounds and adds a stress to my life, by not honouring that now is the time that is provided to complete ‘xyz’ and that delaying this opportunity will guarantee an increased level of stress down the line.

282. It’s awesome to read a blog on a subject that I’m in the midst of being honest about – by way of experiencing everything that Gabrielle has mentioned, having an awareness of it, but yet to admit that this same tendency to pack my day, is more than just a tendency. Thank you; it’s inspired me to put myself first and renounce this pattern.

283. Gabriele, your post has helped me enormously! I am the unrelenting efficient organiser and boy do I pay with my body. Until recently I didn’t realize just how much I set myself up to fail or to become exhausted and I did it in very simple ways. I am a full time mother and student. Because I do not get paid to do either of these tasks I was down grading the importance of all of these tasks. I would never allow enough time to tidy the house, do the washing, fold the clothes or work on an assignment. I would just expect myself to do all these rather time consuming tasks on top of shop for the family, run the kids to whatever, see the accountant, help an elderly parent, pick up something, post something, return five phone calls, answer endless mail ….etc…etc…etc… But I’m onto myself now, I know what I do. I am starting to let go of the ‘must do everything now’ attitude. I am giving myself time to do the washing actually acknowledging that the washing takes a great deal of time and allowing myself to enjoy the process and not rush through with frustration. Thanks for a great post.

284. Thank you Gabriele. My day today went exactly as you described. Everything was running along smoothly, then I thought I’d squeeze in a grocery shop. Then the rest of my plans for the day were coming towards me faster than I could cope with and the agitation in my body felt awful. Great eye opener.

285. I love it Gabriele. You have shared with us something so simple and yet profound. If we get truly honest we can become aware of our old patterns. When we stop and re-connect …we then have the opportunity to make more self-loving choices.
     Thanks for ‘chucking the bone’ Gabriele, you have inspired me to ‘chuck a few bones’ also. 🙂

286. Gabriele – what you have described is a mirror to my own story. I really related to your words describing yourself as a super organiser and achiever and often being tempted to squeeze more and more into your day. Your words are a wonderful reminder to pause, listen to my body, call out what is happening mentally and then direct my focus back to more self – loving choices. Thank you!

287. The need to pack things in is so strong, the constant business is praised by all around us, but the cost to us is so huge! Much better to live as you have described here Gabriele, so much less exhausting!

288. It’s pretty amazing to see that when we actually give ourselves a break we have more time, who would have thought!

289. A clear example of how taking a moment to check in and be wiling to feel the truth about where you are at and, if it takes more than a moment then it is worth it. I sometimes feel challenged by having a quiet time where there is nothing I need to ‘do’ and nowhere I need to ‘be’ and notice that I can become quite agitated by this. It has challenged me to be honest with myself and to ask ‘What is going on?’ What is it about being busy/distracted that I seek in my day?. Thanks Gabriele for the reminder that there is always a beautiful ‘tomorrow’ waiting.

290. Gabriele, perfect for me to read this blog today. When you say you’re addicted to being on a roll, I know what you mean. I often live it and I know I can really identify as being that efficient tough cookie who can handle things. There’s a part of me that wants still to be that tough cookie and doesn’t always want to admit that I need more time, I need rest, or maybe just to leave some space in there. So fabulous reminder for me reading this that it’s about feeling what is needed, and allowing for another day, another time. Thank you.

291. It’s really true this addiction to doing it all and jamming in as much as possible. I see it in myself as well, where I put achievement above my own well being, and above what feels sensible or right to me.

292. Gabriele I can really relate to saying that I don’t want to be stressed, yet trying to get far more done than I realistically can or indeed need to do. The result as I found out recently is a horrible feeling in my body. So it’s great to see how even though I may say one thing the reality can be different. The days when I allow time and don’t try to do more than is needed I find I am far more productive and feel much more with me at the end of the day.

293. I absolutely relate to your experience of creating more stress by adding more “to do’s” into your day Gabriele. I still have difficulty with allowing quiet moments in my day, which my body loves.

     1. I’ve just realised after reading this Bernadette, that I don’t allow many quiet moments in the day. The days are busy and I love them and I love what I do. I can build some quiet time in there to have a moment for myself where I can be and learn to love what I am as well as what I do.

294. Oh dear the thing I most complain about – feeling stressed or overwhelmed – might be exactly what I am creating! I am going to watch my week roll out very carefully after reading this blog.

295. Wow Gabriele, that could have been me writing that blog! It was so spot on as to what I find myself doing. I can really relate to the part of trying to say “no”. I find this really hard and often find myself saying things like, ” If I do the washing now I will feel much better later”, just to trick myself to fit it in! The more I practise letting things go, the more I see the illusion I’m under.

296. I can totally relate to this, it’s like I’m always looking for any spaces in my day and working out what I can fit in, all as a way to keep me busy. Sort of makes sense as to why I often feel like I don’t have enough spaciousness – because I’m the one filling it up!

297. Wow! Isn’t it amazing when we catch out that part of us that has no care for our wellbeing whatsoever. It just wants to push it and experiment with how far it can push it ( and then relish in the downfall). I have also had trouble saying ‘No’ to these feelings at times too but when I do listen and allow space (for there to be no stress) everything does fall into place. Maybe we just need to accept it really can be that easy?

298. Thank you Gabriele for this wonderful blog.
     I know these moments so well, where my mind kicks in to tell that more is to be done.
     If I listen to this in the end often less then what was planned is completed, yet I am exhausted and often slipping into beating me up for not being efficient or focused enough. If in contrast to this I only do what is needed, there suddenly is plenty of time opening up and the day will be harmonious and light.

299. Dear Gabriele – this is such a light presentation of ‘the way it is’! The ‘dog and the bone’-picture is fantastic and so true, this will stick to my mind and hopefully come up whenever there are bones lying around in my day!

300. Love it Gabriele. Thank you for sharing. Your account reminds me of the way I used to be when my children were very young… being super organised, so intent on ticking the boxes to get everything done and that sense of achievement I would get from this ‘push’… feels quite forceful now when I reflect upon it. A forceful way of going about activities that actually made my body harden up. Amazing how time opens up and things just fall into place so easily, and at the right time when you listen and honour yourself amongst what there is to do. Such a resourceful and vital way to live.

301. This was my life too Gabriele and I thought very highly of myself in it lol! but my body was exhausted and out of it’s own gorgeous rhythm – there’s such a drive and stress in pushing oneself, learning to listen and trust my body assures a gentler way through my day.

302. Great sharing. I recognise this trying to make me more efficient. Try to squeeze things in. Lately I have given myself more space to focus on what I really need to do, be with what is in front of me and leave out all the ‘squeezy things in the gaps’. Interestingly enough I just happen to ‘do’ things on the way-or not. It’s just a totally different experience.

303. I love reading this post – it sums up the fight we have with ourselves to not accept that what we have is enough. For me – fitting things in is for 2 reasons: either to fill the role of doing that we have been confirmed to think defines our worth, or because if I keep myself up tight and busy – the that’s the only issue I have to deal with. Fascinating.

     1. Great points you add here hvmorden, “to fill the role of doing that we have been confirmed to think defines our worth, or because if I keep myself up tight and busy – the that’s the only issue I have to deal with.” So so true.

304. Hands Up! Got me on this one Gabriele – I always like to add another task into the mix, I do get off on it – it never pans out the way it could, and now I can own that the stress is the way I choose to recognise how I am achieving – if I am not under pressure something must be wrong or I’m not doing ‘it’ right.

     1. I agree – getting stressed is a great way to be a little numb and to be a little (or a lot) up – just like coffee and sugar.

        1. Ouch, that one hurts! I hadn’t quite realised that I use stress to numb myself. As soon as I read that Christoph it cut straight to the truth.

        2. This is very true Christoph. I have felt this and have indulged in achieving a lot, creating stress to keep me on the move and at a fast pace. To have the heart pumping just a little bit. It has been a pattern to keep myself near the edge and if I’m not near the edge then something must be wrong.

305. Thank you Gabriele, I do too sometimes have these moments where I want to just quickly do this or that but it does not belong into my rhythm at that time and brings me off kilter.

306. A wonderful reminder that time expands when you honour how you are feeling in your body and not what your mind says you ‘need’ to get done that day.

307. “I am one of these people who will readily say that I hate feeling stressed.” I could have written that sentence, Gabriele. I have both said it and thought it many times over and over again. But does that mean that I am never stressed? Nope. It’s time for me to re-adjust and re-imprint my daily rhythms. For me it’s about giving myself more time for ME. Sometimes I tend to wait until the last minute. In the morning, for example, I often don’t “have time” to be really gentle and connect to myself, I just do the things I have to get done. Thank you for the inspiration to not be super efficient – and to spend more time connecting with me in the things that I do.

308. Thank you Gabriele for exposing a part of me that I never new existed. I just thought I could get heaps done in a day because I was good at squeezing everything in – not realizing that it’s stress that fuels my drive.

309. The picture of a dog with a bone is hilarious and so well described Gabriele – thank you for this great account. It made me honor the fact that I too have come from a similar place, to now find it all naturally falls into place as long as I am not ahead of myself, but stay present in and with whatever it is that I am doing.

310. Interesting article Gabrielle thank you. I realised just recently I had gone into not wanting to stop but my body told me clearly to stop, it was interesting to look into what was behind this .

311. Gabriele yes is so true isn’t it – that we do or squeeze in more in order to feel efficient and achieving but yet all this is the very thing that leads to inefficiency as communicated by our depleted or exhausted body. Nailed!

312. I can relate to what you have shared here Gabriele. In my work days there are often gaps and I can easily go into what you have described here of seeing what else I can pack into the day. When I do this, I feel the stress and the chores feel like chores. Your blog is a beautiful reminder of trusting in what is felt is needed in any given moment and to go with that and seeing how it unfolds.

313. This is a great blog Gabriele and one I can relate to in my old life. I was most definitely addicted to stress and cramming more and more into my day and creating more stress. It didn’t work and left me with a tension and anxiety at the end of the day and that meant crap sleep and waking up wanting to get going to keep those stress levels up.
     I love what you say at the end that “time expanded” and I know this for me that when I plan my day to make sure I am first and foremost being looked after, I get more done and if things feel too busy, I will generally stop, pause and feel what is it that can wait.

314. Love it. Really honest and observant of yourself and what what going on, and I really loved the fact that you listened and acted with what felt right for you instead of overriding it. I feel by doing this, it then created the space for you, beautifully so, to get your washing and shopping done. Really inspiring.

315. The most perfect blog for me to read today – thank you Gabriele. I crammed far to much into my day and am now exhausted. It is empowering to take responsibility for the stress I create in my life as I can now make changes and choices to support myself.

316. Thanks Gabriele
     I also have felt the desire to overload myself driven by a desire to over achieve and set unrealistic goals.
     It exposes for me how I can stay stuck in self destructive cycles unless I choose to recognise my choices and claim myself creating supportive rhythms that reflect the essence of who I am rather then being pushed forward by a feeling of lack and a need to achieve to cover it up.

317. I really enjoyed rereading your blog. It reminds me that not only does a part of me “get off on being a super achiever and being super organised” but it fills a need for being recognised for it! I also feel that it is connected to a lack of self-worth. A constant feeling to “do more” to compensate for “not being enough,” or a feeling to “prove oneself”.

318. This is great to read Gabriele, I love the simplicity and honesty of your article and I can really relate to this, ‘And then it hit me: there is a part of me that enjoys running myself ragged, no matter how strongly I might verbally state the opposite. There is a part of me that gets off on being a super achiever and being super organised, a part of me that gets off on doing more than is necessary in any one day.’ I will ponder on this, thank you.

319. I love this humorous reminder from Gabriele about the extent to which we can so stubbornly stand in the way of the ease and flow we so desire. Its as if we think that we can FORCE and PUSH that ease to happen, crazy.

320. This exposé on stress is great for me to read. At times I use stress as a driver, as I leave tasks until the last minute and most often, will find I add on extras?…thank you Gabriele for a simple, yet profound article

321. I can relate to what has been shared here. What I have realised is, it is when I have these gaps I try to ‘fit in’ more, as it can suit the part of me that doesn’t feel enough in what is already planned or happening, thus exposing a lack of appreciation and value of what I bring, as I stop there being the space to appreciate, value and enjoy. This blog is a great reminder to value and appreciate the space and not feel I have to be in control of every moment.Thank you Gabriele.

322. I have been a ‘last minute’ kind of person for much of my life. This has been because in order for me to have the energy to do something I needed to feel the nervous energy of getting it done in time. Thus forgoing any kind of stillness and not enjoying the day. Since learning of the Way of the Livingness through Universal Medicine, I allow more time to complete things and am more aware of the need to fill my day with unnecessary activities for the sake of staying busy. Stillness is really the key to creating more time, space, energy and enjoying my day.

323. Reading this article has been very revealing for me Gabrielle.
     I can feel how I still tend to want to pack my days in with “achievements” and tend to take things on at the end of my workday so as to feel good enough about myself and what I accomplished that day. The problem is that I then get home too late, end up eating later than what is supportive, and don’t have the time or space to properly wind down and go to bed early. So in the end, how could those extra tasks I did really be of value if I was messing up my normal routine and bodies’ natural rhythm? I agree too that when we allow ourselves more space in the day between jobs, and trust the flow of things, stuff gets done without stress or a sense of burden.

324. Gabriele, until recently I would have considered that I did not like stress, what’s interesting and in reading this, is I find that within feeling stressed I question have I done enough? It’s certainly making me reconsider how I’ve been addicted to stress.

325. I loved reading this again, thanks Gabriele. I really feel inspired by the continuing expansiveness we can bring to ‘time’ and our day.

326. Amazing Gabriele

327. I have considered myself a person who likes to plan and I often have congratulated myself on seeing the bigger picture and in work managed tasks without stress and in good time. However, some times when there is a task that I need to do for myself and my own well being, I can leave it and ignore it for as long a possible. This choice has caused stress and my trying to squeeze too much into my day. Your blog got me reflecting on what we consider our strong qualities and what kind of self sabotage can hide behind them. It feels important to consider every moment as equally as the next without loading them with whether we are good or bad at something. Your blog was a great reminder to feel into how things need to occur and to live in the moment.

328. Gabrielle it is amazing isn’t it, how we like to fool ourselves! I too am a packer-in’er of things, but like you I have started to allow for more space and it feels great, just stopping going to the shop to get xyz, I will ask is this really necessary now? I guess it’s all just a way to avoid feeling where we are at, keep busy and carry on! And it may be a way to avoid feeling how awesome we are! Key is to keep allowing the awareness and space to listen!

329. I can relate to what you write here Gabriele, but sometimes find it hard to accept that I create the extra work. For example “I’ll just do this, or that before I leave for work” and then feel rushed on my drive to work.

330. Thank you Gabrielle, I so much relate with setting myself goals for my day and fitting in more activities only to find myself stressed and not enjoying doing the activities.

331. I’m learning to trust that I know how much I can truly fit in a day, or certain time or space – rather than try and push extra in. Pushing in extra often actually slows me down because of the impact it has.

332. Great illustration Gabrielle, of what happens when we let the mind take over,
     instead of listening to our bodies. Why is it that our minds just seem to want to
     over-complicate everything?

333. Thanks Gabrielle, Wonderful exposure of the drive that can bring on much of the stress we experience in our day. I can relate to what you have written, I seem to be forever trying to squeeze just one more task in and exceedingly I am finding that I am rushed and almost late for everything. Reading your article is a great nudge that this behaviour requires re-assessing.

334. This is such a lovely reminder, Gabriele. I create stress in my life not because I am a high achiever but by achieving a lot, I believe I will get recognition and acknowledgement. When this happens everything generally gets rushed, I make mistakes, the outcome is compromised and I get the opposite of what I am desiring. However, when I come from what feels right, what needs to be done, everything flows and as you say, “time expands… it feels great and I feel great.”

335. This is a very familiar story for me and like you, I am learning to honour what I feel and I too find that time expands and everything flows when I feel the true course of action.

336. I lived in motion for years and thrived on stress, so much so that I would create stress where there was none just in case. Now, I love the fact that I can make space in my day to ensure stress does not exist in my day from my making in the way it used to. This allows me to deal with the outside world in a way someone once said ‘to be a fish and not get wet’.

337. A very clear message, thanks for sharing.

338. A simple lighthearted yet profound blog. I can so relate to what has been exposed here, with regards to squeezing a little something else into an already busy day. I had not seen this behavour as an addiction to being stressed, so thank you Gabriele for bringng this to my awareness.

339. Thanks Gabriele, I know this one so well…being addicted to stress…. “just doing this before I go”, or “oh if i am going there I could do this too” or whatever and actually I can even feel myself going into my head but I over-ride this observation and still want to go with this “time-saving” activity, and then the true flow of my day is lost.
     I have opted for the stimulation, the adrenalin rush and I feel exhausted when the day is over.
     I have a choice to either procrastinate so I can get a false sense of being in control of “time” or make copious lists to tick off during the day or just wake up to the fact that I do know how to allow for expansiveness in my day by being honest about what truly needs to be done and enjoying myself in the process.

340. Thank you Gabriele, I can also relate to what you have written about. I often find myself trying to squeeze in one more task just before I am due to leave work at the end of the day. This is a good one to ponder on and ask “am I addicted to stress”?

341. The temptation to ‘just do that one extra task’ over and over again into an already packed day or when I feel to just drop everything has been a choice I have been all too familiar with also. A choice to complicate my life rather than putting focus in making it simple. If I run myself ragged and become stressed it gives me an excuse to blame ‘not having enough time’ or ‘life’s too busy’ instead of empowering myself and saying ‘I can choose to keep things simple’ and start to be active in applying choices that support that simplicity.

342. You have, it seems, struck a chord with so many of us Gabriele, myself included. I too have always tried to fit a lot into my day, to (with hindsight) feel good about myself. However, I also have noticed a tendency to procrastinate. I have been wondering how these two tendencies, which on the surface seem so different, are in fact related? I have discovered that both behaviours boil down to the ‘need’ for the adrenalin rush: If I procrastinate, I have to do everything at the last minute, which requires adrenalin to get things done; if I try to fit too much into my day it also requires adrenalin to get it all done. So, yes I too have been addicted to stress. Peeling back another layer, why then do I ‘need’ this rush of adrenalin/stress in my days? The answer I have recently discovered is because it makes me feel better about myself. Peeling back another layer, why do I ‘need’ to feel better about myself? Because I have not felt enough; I have not felt my amazingness. All this changed at the recent Vietnam retreat where, in the last session (in partners), we had to tell each other why we were amazing. Wow, what an experience; many tears; many false starts (pulled up by my partner); some holding back at first – until the end, when I truly felt my own amazingness and how amazing my partner was – just as she was. This was indeed ‘making love’ – with each other, and with ourselves. And since my return? So far – no procrastination, and no trying to fit too much into my day. Maybe, like you Gabriele, I have finally ‘chucked the bone’. This has been helped, I feel, by my experience in the traffic in Vietnam and Cambodia: what great lessons for we westerners in ‘going with the flow’ and really being connected to others (aware of them at all times). A situation where so many are ‘squeezed in’ (9 million people in Ho Chi Minh, for example, and 5 million motor bikes, as well as pedestrians, cyclos, tuk tuks, cars and buses) which could so obviously be stressful – and yet a perfect example of staying present, staying connected, and being therefore able to go with the flow of life. As you discovered so beautifully on Saturday, Gabriele. Thank you.

     1. Anne thank you for reminding me of the feeling when crossing roads in Vietnam, claiming each footstep, walking slowly and deliberately, knowing that all of the road users see each other and honouring their presence as we ‘flow’ around one another.

343. I really related to this blog Gabrielle. In the past I used coffee to get things done – now that I have stopped using coffee and sugar I have found that I use stress and adrenalin to get me through at times. I definitely relate to wanting to do more than feels right and packing more things into a day when I am ‘on a roll’ but by the end of a day where I have pushed myself too hard it feels terrible… Thank you for sharing this with us. 🙂

344. Loved it Gabriele! Thank you for sharing.

345. I love this Gabriele, I love how it exposes the sneaky voice that ‘thinks’ it knows better on how to run our days. Oh ‘the thinks’, don’t they just lead us on a convoluted path?! They should be a recognised cause of malady…’the thinks’, as in truth, they are. Ariana.

346. This is great Gabriele, not just because of your honesty but for what you have help me identify within myself.

347. What a great insight to come to about yourself, Gabriele. As I was reading, I realised that I put pressure on myself for what I don’t get around to completing in my work. I have been letting myself dance to the expectations that come with the job and not stopping to see if they are realistic. I’ve been being hard on myself and, as a result, haven’t been enjoying enough of those great days we can all have when everything flows and falls into place so beautifully.

348. Thanks Gabriele for your clarity. Sometimes (often), it’s so much harder for us to do less than it is to do more!

349. Dear Gabriele, thank you for sharing your awareness on stressing. I really enjoyed reading it and I can feel that tendency in myself. It’s so freeing to just let go of that bone.

350. I too have been feeling like I have a dog with a bone, I let my mind just hold onto and create drama. It has been such a strong pull, but today I felt how choosing to be loving and being me brings everyone to an equally loving place.

351. Thanks Gabriele! I do this a lot and I was aware a little bit and I have been trying to leave one or two things for later… but your post just exposed a whole lot more for me!!! And NOW it hits me: there is a part of me that enjoys running myself ragged, no matter how strongly I might verbally state the opposite. There is a part of me that gets off on being a super achiever and being super organised, a part of me that gets off on doing more than is necessary in any one day. OH YEAH!!!

     Thank you for taking the time to write this down and share it.

352. I love the simplicity of realising a long held pattern playing itself out… and you chose another way. Thank you Gabriele.

353. I also love the feeling of achieving lots in a day – sometimes I see my self worth in how much I can achieve in a day, and this generally happens when I do leave enough room in my day to feel the yumminess of me in my day…

     Thank you for the reminder Gabriele.

     1. Me too – I love the feeling of getting everything done and often put my body and how I feel on the line to do this. This was a great blog to read Gabriele thank you, it’s great to ponder on the fact that what is right to do is always self honouring and never with disregard to our bodies and health.

354. So simple! Thank you Gabrielle. I am aware also of this self sabotaging behaviour of needing to get things done being my own undoing! It’s great to see it can be let go of so easily.

     1. Agreed Gabriele and Shevon – soo simply put. It’s like I try to cram as much as possible into a certain space, it means if anything happens, which you have to allow for things to come up, it becomes a rush. Whenever I am looking at the clock thinking I need to get this done, say when I’m on the computer – it crashes, something won’t load or do what I need it to do etc.. my body tightens up and I go hard. Yet when I give myself the space it all flows, and I have just the right time and often naturally do extra things without thinking about it.

355. What a wonderful blog, Gabriele. I too have been addicted to achieving monumental things and stressing myself out over it, despite spouting the opposite. I am currently learning, as you have also said, that I must go even deeper with this whole thing, and despite the excuses I think up, know it is my choice to run myself ragged or not. There is nothing ‘out there’ that can dominate one’s choice or be blamed for any stressed action. So great to read your blog today!

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