106 thoughts on “My Relationship with Time, Stress & Busy-ness”

1. I’m discovering that my relationship with time is very united to the honesty and intimacy I have with myself. The moment I allow myself to clearly observe what I feel and hold myself while doing whatever I do, time is not an trouble anymore, but a confirmation of the support I’m offering to myself and it simply expands with me.

2. This is a prime example of how we are more in control of life than we may care to acknowledge. All the pressures and stresses we may experience has our hand in there at some point! How we do and are in life is the biggest factor for how we experience life.

3. I love the learnings and awareness gained, ‘I have learnt I can be a calculated manipulator of time or I can be a creator of time. It is my choice and it is as simple and as joy-full as allowing myself to feel my body in whatever it is I am doing at the time.’

4. Great awareness, using overwhelm so as to not feel something that needed addressing.

5. This is a beautiful example, with feedback from the body, of what happens in different situations relating to giving ourselves space.

6. Staying with the activity we are doing, makes so much sense, ‘if I am brushing my teeth I am actually thinking about brushing my teeth, the way I am holding my toothbrush, how my gums feel being massaged by my toothbrush etc.’

7. It still amazes me how in choosing to have a different relationship with time my life has become so much more spacious and I can no longer hide in busyness and overwhelm. On the days I choose to revisit these old habits my body soon shows me the physical and mental effects of those patterns and the impact they have had over the years but which I now have the tools to release myself from.

8. Living in space as you seem to be Tony, is when time stretches out all around and has no effect on us.

9. I find that reconnecting to me, to valuing my body and how it feels really supports me to come out of pressures related to time. Even if I get caught up in stress around time I can understand why as it’s been a common pattern over my life and it… takes time (!) to overcome!

10. That’s beautiful Elizabeth, I appreciate your sharing, it shows the level of detail required to support our body to be harmonious and well, and it’s very practical and easy to apply also.

11. This is great what you are sharing Tony, and may I add that walking on a daily basis for only around 10 minutes and it can be more. Being in conscious presence as you have shared Tony especially in our walk makes all the difference to our day and vitality.

    1. Thanks Greg for your comment, you’ve inspired me to pay more attention to my conscious presence. I know when I walk with my whole body it feels amazing and I feel really light.

       1. And with conscious presence we get the most loving rhythm and flow, that allows even long walks, and thus we are not placing any strain on the bodies.

12. Sometimes a day flows and so much can be done and we do not even feel busy. Actually, when I am very present, I find myself actually being more productive effortlessly. Could it be that when we ‘try’ to put so much in our day, we are already exposing ourselves that we are not with ourselves?

    1. When I go into trying it is usually because I am trying to prove myself to someone else/others rather than staying with me and feeling what is needed.

    2. I love it when my day flows, when there is a feeling of space and everything just magically happens.

13. We are in relation with much more things that we dare to admit. Yet, the relationship we establish with them, is always coherent with the relation we have with ourselves as we go through time.

14. The moment I try to cram too much in I go into drive and busyness which seems to stay with me for the rest of the day, it’s amazing how I end up on the back foot and the knock on effect of earlier choices.

    1. Absolutely Fiona, it seems like I have had life-times of cramming things into the last minute and it has become my over-ride default at times.

    2. After sharing above I feel a huge clearing from expressing a Truth of how I used to live, thank you Fiona and Tony!!!!!!

15. Being connected and aware of one’s body as one is doing things brings truth and honesty to one’s life.

16. Yes it is amazing how we can fill our days and then wonder what we did when we come to the end of the day and yet, when we live with awareness space opens up for us to get things done.

17. Time can only be our ally. It is always in our favor. How we relate to it is a choice of ours.

18. I so know that overwhelm of trying to squeeze more into a certain amount of time often at the expense of quality…. but am learning that the more aware and present we are the more space we seem to have.

    1. Cramming too much into our day, especially at the last minute can be depleting, whereas working in space has flow and is supportive to our body.

19. Reading this today, I’m aware of how I create overwhelm and busyness as a distraction that cuts me off from what I can feel in my body, which is that there is disharmony in a project I’m working on. Overwhelm, anxiety and stress get in the way of us clearly reading situations and calling out what we can feel, even to ourselves – the perfect excuse to not have to take responsibility, by hiding in the self-created overwhelm and stress. It’s quite incredible how we create our own stress simply by over-filling our days and wanting to do more than we actually can, and not being present with what we’re doing in that moment.

20. “if I allow ample enough time for me to do something like get ready in the morning, then time is not an issue, in fact I end up with extra time.” It is an interesting concept that we think we can create extra time rather than choosing to give ourselves the space to accomplish tasks within a given time-frame.

21. So true Linda, beautifully said – the nature of the relationship we hold with ourselves have a great effect on the nature of our relationship with everything else.

22. This was a great reminder for me as I often catch myself thinking about what else needs to be done, and on the days that I allow myself to focus fully only on the one thing I am doing at the time, everything seems to take care of itself.

23. It is a great one to realise how we can create our own business and overwhelm by putting too much in the day or as I have found to do things that are not needed, like checking Facebook etc. so in the end there is not enough time for what is needed and I can’t do them. It is true that often the issue is not in not being able to do the important things but not wanting to address something in our lives. Be it talking with someone or going deeper in the relationship with ourselves.

24. This is so true, I like to allow myself plenty of space, ‘ if I allow ample enough time for me to do something like get ready in the morning, then time is not an issue, in fact I end up with extra time.’

25. Developing a deeper level of relationship with our own quality, allows our movements to be aligned to the wonders of the universe where space is available to us for whatever is needed for the good of all.

26. This is a great expose of all the ways we distract ourselves and lose connection with our bodies and end up feeling rushed or pressured for time. I know it’s a pattern I can go into at times because I am avoiding feeling my power and how simple life can be when I choose to be present and aware in each moment.

27. I find that if I don’t feel I am enough then this affects my relationship with time. Not feeling I am enough leads me to be more driven to get more done and hence rush through life without any true connection to what I am doing. When I know in my heart that I am enough – and more than enough – I find myself able to slow down, to relax into what I am doing and be fully present in it. In this, there seems to be more than enough time to do all that needs to be done.

28. Very interesting learning – seeing and observing how about we go about time and how we can very knowingly misuse it for our own creation and or drive. Hence, we are our own lifetimes creators and we can make it hard, tough and complicated (almost like you are going against time or in constant fight) or easy, simple and smooth (as we listen to the impulses of the heart). It is that simple, and we know it!

29. It defies what we think we know about time when we stay present and connected to ourselves and only think about the thing we are doing. Time and space simply open up.

30. Thanks Tony… It really is that simple isn’t it… Just stay connected with your body, and we will have the most amazing readout of everything that is going on within and without.

31. We use and create overwhelm and stress so as not to feel something that we don’t want to deal with…I can see how I do this all the time, and use it as an excuse. Although I say that I love the feeling of stillness and the spaciousness that comes with it, there is still a part of me that loves the whirlwind and the stress, the excitement and the busyness, and I often lose myself in it. What I’m starting to feel is that this is a depleting way to live. I can either make choices that support me to feel still and steady in my day, or ones that make me feel stressed, anxious and then exhausted. The fact that this all comes down to our own choices is super empowering.

32. Mmmm….. I have never considered I overfill my day – but I do – strange – as I am not incredibly busy, but I think my body has been calling for more rest for months – but I have been overriding and ignoring this. I also wanted to share that stress can make someone very very ill, affects relationship, other people and as well all know, a person’s health in many ways. But it’s a very serious and common thing, especially in the corporate and construction world – there is so much pressure put on people and many are in the same ball game, so very little people are reflecting there is another way to be, work and live life – one that is not compartmentalised and where everything is treated with equal importance, respect and care.

33. ‘If I give into my mind flitting from one subject to the next, it creates within me a sense of being busy and hectic.’ I love this and I can relate to this sometimes even feeling important with so much to do instead of committing myself with doing one thing at a time and staying present which offers simplicity and space, our mind can make us go crazy creating complexity and overwhelm by not having enough time. It makes no sense the choice is actually truly easy.

34. “By overfilling my day I have an infinite amount of reasons for why I am feeling stressed, so many reasons in fact that I am able to actually avoid the real reason I am not feeling myself. ” I can relate to this, I use to do this a lot, to avoid expressing my truth, those where the days when I lacked confidence in expressing my truth. So I would just keep my days filled, being busy. This was so exhausting.

35. I love how honest you are in exposing the patterns of behaviour you choose in order to avoid what being in the flow of life can offer you. It’s amazing how cleverly we can fool ourselves into thinking that what we are doing is necessary when in truth we are just avoiding a deeper connection.

36. Great to read this blog this morning – reminds me that space is the important thing in a busy day, and that it is always a choice as to how we approach it.

37. I have noticed this in the morning as well and I completely agree it is a choice each and every time.

38. The relationship we establish with time is crucial, it is the consequence of the relationship we establish or not with space. If we do not choose space, time is the kingdom of fuzziness and living in such a cloud where you run behind things which deprives oneself of oneself.

39. Heavens I hadn’t seen that pattern of being anxious about a conversation and then rushing, stressing and filling my time so I didn’t arrive at the conversation steadily but I can think of way too many examples where I have done that! One to choose to see very clearly from now on and to make a different choice!

40. Great blog about time. “A huge part of feeling I have all the time in the world is making sure I am thinking about the activity I am physically doing at the time.” I agree – staying present with whatever activity I am doing at the time also reduces my stress levels.

41. Yes I can see that when I am not connected with myself and what I am doing time and other things become the issue. This is a great realization.

42. Time is still a source of stress for me, especially the thought “I won’t get everything done.” It’s an old pattern of going through life stressed and in a frenzy, instead of being connected to me and letting what can be done be done, and letting go of the rest. Life becomes like an unending pile in front of me, instead of a joy-filled day connected to me, exploring life and all of its wonders. Stressing out (including about time) is a very reduced way for me to live.

43. This is such a powerful and practical look at how we add to and create overwhelm and stress, and equally how we can not only stop this but also learn from the experience and live a completely different way. These practical examples of staying with what you are doing and only thinking of that, could be just the thing to prevent checking out and daydreaming and in more extreme cases alzheimer’s.

44. There is a saying ‘More haste, less speed’ and perhaps we should add ‘ More space, less time’ meaning that the more space we choose to be with ourselves in the moment the less we are ruled by time.

45. Ah yes when I get into the busyness of the day it is obvious I have lost connection with myself and am attached to time and fitting everything in, when I remain connected to my body and am present with everything I do, time seems to slow down and everything gets done without the stress and pressure.

46. It’s true we constantly manipulate and play with time to create problems in our day, for example, in finding a way to be a few minutes late that creates enormous stress and tension in our bodies and ripples out to effect our whole day. It really does show that we are the self-creators of the reality we live in.

47. When we’re able to stay in the moment of time we’re in and let the future take care of itself, we create a spaciousness in that moment, enough space to enjoy the moment we’re in, so that we can be there, fully present, focused on that one thing. It means the quality we are in and the quality of our output are far and away superior to the quality we bring to our day when we’re in overwhelm, overdrive or overload.

    1. Bringing quality to our day by focusing on being 100% present in each and every moment brings flow and a sustaining, vitalising energy to our bodies and into the day.

48. It’s lovely to begin each day without rushing out the door for work by allowing myself enough time to prepare for my day and leave with everything in order and if I continue to be with myself during the day then I find I have time to attend to all that needs to be addressed without becoming overwhelmed or exhausted. Although this has not always been the way I have chosen to use my time, I find my relationship with time now to be a far more self-loving way and it’s actually a choice I have to choose either simplicity or complication during my day.

49. An excellent blog, made so because of your deeply lived wisdom on the topic and the absolute common sense in what you share. Time just is and it’s the way in which we relate to it that determines how we experience it. Time as ally or enemy is determined by whether we choose to be the manipulator or creator of it in each moment. It’s that simple. The rest is just drama.

50. Yes, I know when I take too much on it will take me out of rhythm and create a buzz like tension in my body. when I’m in my essence doing what needs to be done one thing at a time and being present in my body with what I am doing, it feels so very natural.

51. For most people time is a cloying web or net that is cast over their whole lives, weighing down, bringing anxiousness, stress, prevarication, lack of appreciation, and yet all of this comes from a perception that has no connection to the true connection that will just, by its essence, bring everything into perspective, and that is the connection with our bodies and our stillness.

52. I have had quite a tense relationship with time as in constantly struggling to feel like I have enough ‘time’. It is taking some time (pun intended) to adjust and let go of old habits such as cramming too much into my day and learning to say ‘no’ to some things and ‘yes’ to what supports me to have more balance and self care. Not surprisingly the sky hasn’t fallen in when I have let go of the need to control my life and relationship with time and in fact I have found that space has opened up around me when I step back and work more in a harmony with my environment. My awareness of what is going on is enhanced and thus, my response to situations actually changes as I have allowed in more information. This is awesome and inspires me to keep developing my relationship with time.

53. If time can be a vice anything can.

54. Time is not the enemy but it is how we use it- we can either be loving or manipulative in our use of it. It is our choice that determines the end result.

55. Yes great reminder that ‘overwhelm is an excuse that keeps me from addressing the real issue!’

56. ‘I have learnt I can be a calculated manipulator of time or I can be a creator of time. It is my choice and it is as simple and as joy-full as allowing myself to feel my body in whatever it is I am doing at the time.’ I love the super practical nature of this blog and the great tips for bringing ourselves back to the present moment. I was shocked how hard I initially found it to stay present when, for example, brushing my teeth but with consistent practise it has got much easier and has contributed to the feeling of time expanding in my day when I allow myself to feel what is the next activity to perform. Despite knowing the beauty of this flow I can still get caught out by overfilling my day and procrastinating to avoid an issue that I am fearful of addressing.

57. When we rush and are constantly tying up loose ends during our day it can indeed tie our days up in knots.

58. Great blog, brimming with practical advice for keeping overwhelm at bay and the basic thing – do one thing at a time, staying with it in each and every moment, using the body to keep you present in the task. Then onto the next. For me, I find if I don’t get up when I intended to, then my day is always in catch up and I’m harbouring guilt and self-reproach in there somewhere too. Like you, time in the morning for me ensures I’m on an even footing for the rest of the day. It takes responsibility and commitment to make this sustainable, so my days of overwhelm are merely a reflection of when I’ve dropped the responsibility ball.

59. It is very easy to get caught up with busyness as a way to manage our daily life so we don’t ever have enough time to feel what’s there to be felt, so we get caught up in the vicious cycle until our body is made to stop by an accident or illness.

60. Our relationship with time, stress and busy-ness is something I am sure we can all relate to. I certainly can. Learning to listen to our body during such times, when we are stressed, get into the doing, is so very important. Because when we become stressed, we immediately loose connection to our body, we can go into our heads. When this happens, its really easy then to make choices that are disregarding to the body. What you have shared around bringing awareness to being present, bring awareness back to the body is really a practical and great way to honour our body and ourselves.

61. You describe how you realized that you created a new issue (overwhelm) by overfilling your day so you wouldn’t have to deal with the original issue beneath. I realise this is how we keep on burying stuff deep within to avoid dealing with old hurts. Isn’t it amazing how we are able to fool ourselves believing one thing while in fact it is a cover up to protect ourselves from ever feeling scared and hurt again. In the meantime we are far away from ourselves, not living who we truly are.

62. Deliberately overfilling my day and placing excessive expectations on myself only feeds complexity and stress (full stop) in my daily life. This is something I have mastered quite well in the past and it still continues to haunt me. I am work in progress in addressing this excess busyness but am pretty sure letting go of my need for perfectionism and appreciating and building on my innate qualities is a great start to this process.

    1. Getting up earlier in the morning was definitely a turning point for me as it seems to create more time and space in the day to attend to all my responsibilities – with far less rush. Its kind of like getting up and starting the day by going at a steady walking pace that clears the head and continues all day …rather than getting up later which can give you that I have to catch up feeling and force you into a sprint that can continue at that unrealistic momentum for the rest of the day which then feeds into the next day…and the next day.

63. Me too Gyl. If I am super busy, then I do not have to feel what is really going on and can bounce from one superficial day to the next.

64. Well spotted Mary – I’ve noticed that I pretend that if I’m really busy then I must have a real purpose in what I’m doing. Its a total delusion as things end up getting crammed into too little time and space and they all end up a lower quality for it.

    1. So true! It`s all about the energy in which we are doing things and if it comes from a true place, we will always create enough space so that there is no need to stuggle.

    2. Yes Simon, I feel that sometimes I go into more is better and creating the illusion that because I’m so busy and stressed that I feel important. Also there is sometimes a need for me to be recognised for what I am doing in the appearance that I’m busy.

       1. Well spotted Chris – its so easy to chase that feeling of wanting to be more, being recognised for doing things rather than just allowing ourselves to be…. ourselves

65. Its funny – as I was reading this it was great to have the reminder to come back to the moment, and just reading the blog… feeling myself in my seat, fingers on the keyboard. The chaos, busyness and planning that can go on in my head boil back down to just the simple things no matter what is going on.

66. Understanding that time is truly an illusion is one of the foundations of liberation from the hamster wheel of existence onto the path of recognising and experiencing our journey of return to our true selves.

    1. Beatifully put cjames2012.

67. This blog reminds me how some days I can do so much and time seems to just allow more to be done and I don’t feel ‘busy’ or stressed, and the day feels longer and richer, and some days just run by me while I don’t do very much. For me, it definitely is how I am engaged with what I am doing, and conscious presence really is the key for my day to be more productive without planning to do so.

68. Beautifully said, Carmin. Love it.

69. It is interesting how you mention that you sometimes use stress as a distraction from what really needs to be done. I can relate to this very well and it is great to read this as a reminder of not going into the stress but doing with presence what needs to be said or done.

70. Time is indeed something that can rule us, and let us believe that there is only the busy day, but when we truly feel, there is much more than the busy day. Thank you for making this very clear.

71. Thank you for your insightful observations about your motivations for keeping busy and stressed and great tips for preventing it.

72. This is a blog that relates so well with me right now as I am practising the same thing. I realize just how much I over fill my day which leaves me feeling disappointed at the end of the day because I did not get everything done – a total unloving set up.

73. This was great to read and be reminded to stop and look at why we avoid giving ourselves space, creating the busyness we can when there is something we don’t want to address. Awesome.

74. Thanks Tony for this blog – I very much relate to making myself busy to avoid dealing with something or feeling something! I do it in so many areas of my life and it creates so much unnecessary stress!!

75. We have a PhD in lack of total presence while doing something. Today, for instance, I shaved in the morning (it does not happen every morning). I realised that when I shave I tend to concentrate my attention in the hand holding the razor but not on my face being shaved. Today, I hold my attention on both and it felt different; more complete.

76. Feeling the breath in my lungs….I just did that and that feels wonderful. Thank you for this tip!

77. Yes I just heard a great talk on choosing the quality in which we live our day- it is very related to this. Choosing to be in the overwhelm or rush or choosing to look after your needs and bring more quality to your day and thus more space.

78. Beautiful to re-read and to re-evaluate my relationship with time, during my period of exams. Totally inspired me to change the choices I am making, and begin to make more space for myself during the day.

79. It is very interesting to see the relationships we create with time and being busy, and it is so true that it keeps us in a momentum of time that is already happening – propelling ourselves into the future as opposed to waiting where we are, enjoying ourselves in the moment and letting time come to us. It’s backwards really and I can feel how much tension is released from my body when I am only thinking about my breath and my body and accepting the simplicity as I type this.

    1. It feels that stress can come in when I am living in the future and trying to react to a situation that hasn’t happen yet. I feel that when I am present then I can respond and bring all of me to the situation.

80. Oh yes, I can very well relate to that.
    Making plans in the morning and putting everything that seems to be necessary on a list is the best way to guarantee frustration in the evening as not nearly everything gets done.
    I have experienced that the less I try to plan my day from my mind, the easier the day will be, and at the end of such a day more things have been completed than I even might have thought of in the morning – and there is no stress or frustration.
    But the hectic way can be such a well trodden path.

81. This is a great blog about time. I found for me that it also has to do with trusting that when I let go of all the things I have to do and just feel what I can do, that everything will be done in time. This is still a learning point for me.

82. Time, our never ending nemesis, or so it would seem. However, I find if I connect to myself and develop a quality of being that I know as me by choosing to breathe gently, feel my body, and be aware of everything I am sensing – then I can be very present and at one with myself and everything around me. When I can be present in this way it as if time expands and I am able to do what is required with no sense of push or stress. It is only when I become anxious or out of rhythm with my body and that quality within, that time then dominates me and slips out of my grasp.

83. Joseph I’d not looked at it like that, but whenever I try to jam pack my day without space I get completely caught up and end up recovering in the evening and next day. What is lovely however is to start to change my relationship with what I am doing so I don’t bring in so much drive to complete the impossible. As a result the day becomes far more enjoyable and I still get lots done. I just need to work on wanting to do even more! Great to consider it the same as eating more than I need to when the meal already feels complete!

84. Its amazing Michael how when I get distracted or try to think about everything I need to do – I always make a mistake and then end up taking soo much longer doing it! It is a great lesson to remember to stay present and focused with what I am doing, and take the extra bit of time and care when I am doing things.

85. It never ceases to amaze me the different speeds at which I perceive time elapses. It makes sense that whether it goes quickly or slowly and whether we have enough or not is down to how we are. That how we express in our bodies would impact on the time we feel is available makes sense to me and is certainly something I have felt when I have chosen to be aware of it.

    1. Stephen that is a great point – it’s fascinating how time can sometimes appear to go so fast and sometimes so slowly, but I think it’s gone faster than it has. The question this raises for me is how effectively do I use the time I am given? I notice that sometimes when I perceive to have a lot of time I take 10x as long to do something than I need to and get distracted along the way, instead of focusing on what needs to be done, and simply doing it! This use of time is equally as unsupportive with the overwhelming feeling of not having enough time and rushing – it is fascinating.

86. I’m so glad I found this blog, I’ve felt the huge pressure of time in the last few weeks, do I have time for this? Or what’s next, just so many thoughts that create anxiousness, when as you present it’s as simple as staying with your body 🙂

87. Even though I am retired, I continually have to check I am not still working ‘ 9 ’till 5 ‘
    There is ‘always something to do’
    It is up to me how much stress I have in my life, I now create it when I am not connected to my body, and if my head is in charge I make poor decisions.
    When I notice stress building up, my stand by, calm down is:
    lying down on my massage table with eye pillow, then gentle breathing for 10 minutes.
    Brings me back to me.

88. A subject I am very familiar with both in terms of overloading myself with tasks and when I am just present with what I am doing at the time, makes it feel like time has expanded. By not rushing I feel less stressed, less stressed makes me feel more energised and with my spare time I can do an extra task here or there but remain present with the extra task and enjoy it. Rather than rushing to get it done because my mind has come up with an excuse as to why I need to get it done, despite the panic and stress I feel after completing it in a hurried way. I am starting to learn that no task is worth having an end result of a stressed out, exhausted me.

    1. I feel that when I am stressed at work and are working against the clock, the quality of my work changes and I’m more likely to make mistakes and the feeling of stress makes me tired.

89. I definitely know that feeling of overfilling my day – I do it all the time, and with it comes the overwhelm and the stress that you write so well about. I’m aware of the alternative, and when I choose that spaciousness, time suddenly expands in the most gorgeous way so there is suddenly plenty.

90. Awesome explanation thanks, will try some of your methods. Cheers.

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