by Lyndy Summerhaze, Crabbes Creek, Australia
With the wonderful help from practitioners at Universal Medicine, I have been able to surrender to a deeper, more beautiful and real me, to feel the exquisite purity of my essence – and feeling this has enabled me to realise how superficial I have been.
This is what I have seen: I have a superficial way of expressing and communicating which glides and slides over all the richness, rawness, and beauty of life. I have been content with fragments of truth and used these fragments to create a mosaic or picture of life that is not true; a picture that, in its misinterpretation of life, has reduced it to something unreal and without true vibrant livingness. Forgetting to look within myself and feel the love, truth and glory ever pulsing within, a love ever ready to nurture every cell of my body and emanate forth, I instead cast my gaze onto the outer world and proceeded to search for some form of ‘good’ or ‘purity’ out there. In this process I created a false world – a world which was not without its amazing moments, but these moments were short-lived and unsustainable.
This is how I made a false mosaic with fragmented truth in my relationship with my mother. I adored her – she was lovely, funny, lively, always there for me, never abusive, a beautiful pianist – everyone loved her. For me she personified all that was good and pure. Then when I was 23, she died of breast cancer. Recently a Universal Medicine practitioner astutely asked me if I had accepted my mother’s death. I was stopped in my tracks by this question – well, I had accepted the death of my first daughter, and I had accepted the death of my father, but with this question about my mother there were tears gathering in my eyes. No, there was something amiss!
I recounted how my mother had been given 6 months to live and how she and my father were going to spend that time on a holiday together. The doctor then suggested removing Mum’s ovaries to slow down the spreading of the cancer. Although this is a recognised treatment in certain cases of breast cancer, and I appreciated the medical care that had been given thus far, somewhere deep inside I just had this feeling that this next step would not work for Mum, that it would not slow the spread of cancer in her case. I even said to my parents that this would be the end of Mum, but my mother chose to go ahead with the operation. She was dead in a couple of weeks.
Then there was the funeral. I didn’t go to it – a decision that has always puzzled me. How could I have opted to not go to my own mother’s funeral? I now know I couldn’t go because I had not accepted the circumstances of her death. Then things started to unravel to me – what I hadn’t been prepared to see about her life – all the not so lovely things that were threatening to spoil the perfect picture I held of my loving mother. I remembered how she expressed to me her bewilderment about her predicament and how her life could have come to this. She was shattered when she realised her youth and musical career were disappearing due to her illness, and she was left wondering who she was. There was a sense that she had lost control over her own destiny.
I was devastated that she found herself in this position. I realised that the deepest aspect of the grief I felt was not so much about her impending death, but how she felt powerless within her situation. I felt grief not only about my mother, but about how life is lived in the world. I kept my own reaction of devastation buried, unable to face it. But now, in the safe and loving space held by this practitioner, I could open up and feel the devastation I had suppressed.
I realised that there were parts of my mother that I did not want to see. I could see that she could not feel that her own love and our love were enough. It was confronting for me to see how she dealt with her illness because she had not shown me her imperfections before. I had only seen her as a mother whose warmth was always there for me, but not as a woman who had gone through her own trials and tribulations in life.
My ideal ‘mosaic’ of her, created with fragments of truth, was shattered. I saw that I had enjoined a false mentality that prescribed that we blindly ignore the weaknesses of others and see only the ‘good’ – this was thought to be what ‘love’ is, but it was a distorted version of true love. I had made a tumour in the body of God. True love sees, discerns, understands, accepts, and is entirely without judgment. This was a painful but good shattering. I just had to feel it, feel it, feel it. Ouch!
The false world I had created was just a fragment of the truth (as I write this the kookaburras have just burst out laughing and I am reminded of the precious joy of life). I chose to use that precious life energy available to me to create a false world where I saw only the acceptable, nice and good – I cut myself off from the fullness of true expression. I subverted the true pure stream of life and love that naturally flowed through me and instead wove a cocoon of illusion. This cocoon, I realised, sheltered me from feeling the facts of life as they are here on earth; it protected me from feeling the unacceptable horrors of the world, and even more poignantly, from the hurts that I myself was carrying around within me. But it also cut me off from the depth of richness that we all naturally are. Because I did not want to see and feel all that was there to be seen and felt I cut myself off from the whole, and so from experiencing relationship in full with others.
The week before the above revelation, I was driving home one day when I became aware of the presence of a beautiful, radiant, loving woman enveloping me. I could feel her dignity and wisdom. This woman has many times been present with me in my life, and because Mum had died when I was 23, I had always attributed this presence to her – I always thought, “oh, my beautiful mother is with me”. But as I drove, bathing in this gorgeous presence, I suddenly and deeply knew this woman to be me – the essence of me. I had always been casting the woman within me onto the outside world – this amazing being couldn’t possibly be myself! How loving was the Soul to confirm the truth of who I am before I stumble across (yet again!) another self-created illusion. In its wisdom the Soul gave me the whole picture, creating a platform of loving acceptance for me to see what is there to be seen.
I am learning about truth – and that truth, love, and observation are one and the same thing. From here I can see what there is to be seen and feel what there is to be felt. I have realised that I have been content to be superficial in how I perceive and interact with who and what is in front of me, content with not seeing and feeling everything – to the very depths.
There is a still and loving place within the innermost heart of every man, woman and child, from whence the truth of all can be felt, seen and known in full. There is no judgment issuing from this place, only love and observation – for true love and observation are one.
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
Lyndy this is such a powerful blog, and so rich in its rawness, honesty, and it’s wisdom from observation. Thank you for sharing yourself here and your life so openly. I have recently become aware of how I hold others in pictures, I can feel that the picture is a package of “good”, without allowing me to to see, connect to and embrace the whole person in understanding. Everything you have shared feels like it’s percolating within me at a very deep level so I’m sure much will come from my read today. On a physical level I feel that what you share is about digesting life, being with life exactly as it is, accepting, making decisions, and letting go – thank you Lyndy.
This clearly shows that we are selective in what we share with another. Tonight l felt the loneliness and sadness of not sharing myself in full. Something I cannot blame another for, but one which I can accept as being my choice, for whatever reason, to not do. The beauty is though that I now can open and share me, warts and all.
Wow Lyndy, this is quite the journey, and I’m sure it’s forever unfolding, like for the rest of us. it’s fascinating to read about the many different ways we deal with life and it’s happenings. I love how open you were to accepting what you have not accepted, and gave yourself the space, when you were ready to look at it.
True love and observation are indeed one, and there’s so much in what you’ve unraveled here Lyndy, how we can settle for a surface aspect of what we call ‘love’ but in fact it’s not that at all, it’s what we’re comfortable seeing and how in failing to allow ourselves to see the all, we miss the depths all round in us and in others; the more we’re willing to see, the more we can understand, allow and observe and this is love, a holding of both ourselves and others in how they are.
Thanks Monica, we are very selective about what we allow ourselves to see in self and others, especially as it’s more comfortable for it to fit the picture perhaps of what we want or think we need. We aren’t really taught or encouraged to be with the whole exactly as it is, instead it’s more socially acceptable to be on the surface and do what’s nice, polite, or as Lyndy shared, we think it’s loving to be that way, to just see “the good”. It’s fascinating to consider how much we see life through pictures and perceptions, instead of observing it exactly as it is. It may be that because we mostly are not in connection to the essence of love we are, the best we can manage to do to deal with how life is is to edit it before we meet it. I’m sure love though has all that is required to meet anything in full, with full clarity and observation. As we learn to live that love we may also learn we have everything needed to meet life in full, exactly as it is.
What you unravel here is that we are never alone, that we ourself bring a presence and warmth and love that will hold us in any given situation. It is only that we learn otherwise and haven’t nurtured the relationship with and getting to deeply know ourself.
Interesting to think of that we tend to not be that loving with ourselves as we would like to be for others or see in others and make it more about them than about us instead and with that are missing the opportunity to be blessed with the love and beauty that already resides in each and everyone of us.
The true meaning of love has become so distorted over the years, and yes a part of us at times can only want to see the ‘good’, or supposed ‘ideal’ version of love, whereas as you share ‘True love sees, discerns, understands, accepts, and is entirely without judgment.’ True love is simply beholding, a great sharing on true love is found here, http://www.unimedliving.com/unimedpedia/word-index/unimedpedia-love.html.
This is a beautiful blog to read Lyndy, thank you for sharing so honestly, ‘I became aware of the presence of a beautiful, radiant, loving woman enveloping me. I could feel her dignity and wisdom.’ Lovely for you to finally understand and accept that this presence was you, your essence.
What an amazing reflection you were given to look at all your life – your mother. I have read many blogs and heard many times now people ‘looking’ for the truth and answers. Seeking that epiphany or ‘being saved’ – relieved from the tension – “I want to win the lottery and have lots of money” – “I want to be happy” – “I do not want to work”. And guess what I just realised I heard this all from my mother too. I have realised All it takes is to deeply take care of yourself and know if you are feeling tension it is honourable to feel and surrender to it.
If I feel ‘out of sorts’ I slow down and be gentle and kind with myself. All there is to achieve in life is to love and embrace what next there is to look at and feel. I am discovering the ‘next thing’ is what I try so hard to avoid – that next thing is being responsible for feeling more than what you did before. The feeling of being out of sorts will become a consistent feeling of being amazing. So, our mother, and others are reflecting just how amazing we actually are, and that awkwardness and tension when honestly given the space now becomes it – YOU – AMAZINGNESS. We are a step away from being amazing and we are constantly being reflected this.
Thank you for this honest blog Lyndy. I can relate to much of what you wrote here especially about glossing over things and avoiding looking at the bad, only seeing the good. I particularly like this line, ‘True love sees, discerns, understands, accepts, and is entirely without judgment.’
and thank you both for breaking down this propensity to see what we want to see rather than what is there to be seen. Without people coming into our lives to show us there is another way we would quite happily remain in the cocoon believing this to be the reality.
Wow I really appreciate your sharing this, I can feel the way we see what we want to see, the way we hold those closest to us to an ideal and an expectation that means we actually don’t see them and accept them for who they truly are. There is so much more I can see will come as I sit with this blog for a while, I feel it unraveling something for me so thank you.
Your dignity and wisdom is deeply felt Lyndy throughout your entire blog, And it made me ponder where do I still not want to see truth and protect myself by making my own version, it is an ongoing process that makes there to be more of me every time I let go of another picture. ‘I am learning about truth – and that truth, love, and observation are one and the same thing.’ Thank you for these words of power.
Lyndy this sharing moved me very deeply, and makes me realize how easy it is to not want to see the reality of this world and those in it. Including myself.
It is understandable to some extent that we recoil and withdraw from the world in some way in response to the obvious pain, suffering, falseness, corruption and superficiality that surrounds us everywhere and then we want to create our own ‘fairy tale’ with a happy ending rather than feeling and facing the reality of life. However I have found that the less I paper over the cracks (that show through in the end anyway) the more in touch I become with the wonder, joy and love and stillness that is also there in life alongside the harsher sides and I have come to the conclusion that the love and joy is stronger, more powerful and more plentiful, I just had not noticed it so much before when I was living in my self-created ‘bubble’ of how I wanted life to look.
Yes Andrew and this is such a great point. If we withdraw then we never offer any change, we join in and cannot complain about the mess the world is in. If we want things to change then we have to be that change, in our own life and then in the world. Be bold, be ready to see the world as it is and get in there anyway!
When I find myself not wanting to feel especially the reflection of another I am realising it is because it exposes me and the hurts I am carrying around with me but to allow myself to feel says ‘Yes’ to evolution and an opportunity to heal and bring only love to all my relationships including the relationship with self.
Beautiful Lyndy, thank you. The realisation that the deeply warm and loving woman is you is a true aha moment and you have captured it perfectly here in your writing. That deeply warm and loving beingness is in us all equally, awaiting for each of us to realise it for ourselves as you have.
We would carry less hurts if we understood and spoke about life in its true energetic sense – like why people get diseases in the first place and how death works and what we then move onto through the cycle of reincarnation. This life is really missing the latter of your gorgeously open blog Lyndy – the way you embrace your Soul and know there is more to life then meets the gullible eye.
This is great Lyndy, when we try and paint things how we want them to be rather than how they actually are, it just provides us situations which let us down and leave us feeling not connected but isolated in the pictures in our heads.
In this beautiful sharing is the wisdom of the true elder – a quality that all may hold, regardless of age… Thank-you Lyndy for sharing from your depths to our own, what it is to accept the whole of life and embrace it with one’s love.
How beautiful to finally recognise that the divine presence you were feeling was actually you. Not some idealised version of your mother or anyone else.
Indeed Lucy, it is a blessing when we are able to realise and feel that we are so much more tender, delicate and loving and more… then we always allowed ourselves to feel. There is a treasure held in each and everyone of us that is invaluable we all one day will come back to.
That there is a still and loving place within the heart of everyone can seem like a cliché or a truism, and yet it is the absolute truth… And this place holds the spark of reconnection that eventually, in everyone of us, will reignite the flame of truth that will burn bright and lead us all home
I love reading people’s stories as it brings in much more understanding of them and reminds you not to judge others- that there is more than what you see in front of you and to bring understanding to that.
There is no judgment in observation. If we interpret what we see there is, but if we observe all that is being presented there is only learning and understanding.
When the perfect pictures we create of others get smashed by their imperfections we are suddenly awakened by the fact that we too are not perfect and never will we be. And what a blessing that is considering more often than not it is our imperfections in life that we learn some of our greatest lessons from.
Thank you, Lyndy. Sometimes the truth can be so painful to feel at the time but the more connected we are to ourselves the easier it is to know and feel the richness of the truth being presented.
An exquisite masterpiece Lyndy – thank you for sharing so beautifully.
Thank you Lyndy for sharing all this. Just because we can see another’s imperfections doesn’t mean we love them any less nor need there be any judgement, as you say, it’s seeing the whole, the all rather than picking out the parts we think we should or want to see.
Lyndy,
Your honesty here is beautiful. You are not alone in having lived seeing only what you wanted to see. The beauty in your sharing is how once we choose to see everything, that we can then let go, and love deeply. This is impossible whilst we want to only see the good, and not the realness of life.
“There is a still and loving place within the innermost heart of every man, woman and child, from whence the truth of all can be felt, seen and known in full. There is no judgment issuing from this place, only love and observation – for true love and observation are one.” So true – beautifully expressed.
The pictures we carry can be so unhelpful – they sometimes prevent us from seeing truth. Understanding that this isn’t always easy we make up stories in our head – often about our parents – because we don’t want to face reality. Bringing love and understanding enables us to accept why we do what we do – and release our old hurts. Thankyou for sharing your story Lyndy.
Hi Lyndy, yes indeed you are the beautiful, radiant, loving woman, full of dignity and wisdom. This is how I know you to be. I loved reading this again as it is such a great sharing that most of us can learn from – as we hold onto images about ourselves and others; I know I do. These images blind us from the depths that we are capable of feeling and the understanding that accepting these feelings can bring.
Lyndy, your words are like the warmth of the sun, the scent of a beautiful flower and the radiance of a sunrise. Your essence is felt in your every word.
Yes Lyndy, not seeing or feeling everything Is not living truthfully, or lovingly allowing observation. I can see now how being selective is not the way forward in how I am to live. It is out of balance and sooner or later this will be shown in some way.
There is something so sweet and beautiful about your story Lyndy. It has brought tears to my eyes. I think it has something to do with discovering the gorgeous presence was you. The essence of you.
Like selective hearing, I too have had selective seeing. I am quick to see all the unique special traits in others, but not in me. Blind to their faults and unrealistically weighted on the imperfections in me.
I feel more free and love after reading your story Lyndy. Thank you.
Very inspiring Lyndy. When we chose a blinkered view of life we do not see the whole. Sometimes we chose to only see the good and sometimes we choose to only see the bad. When we choose to observe the whole we see the truth.
I love coming back to this blog Lyndy and discovering something new to reflect upon, this simple line beautifully illustrates what love truly is – ‘ True love sees, discerns, understands, accepts, and is entirely without judgment.’ Reading this I am reminded this all begins with the relationship with myself first.
I love the moment you described where you felt the beautiful warm embracing presence and then you realised it was you, we are so much huger and grander than we realise, I experience that too sometimes and what I realise is that embracing huge presence must be there all the time, so what am I doing to not feel it?
Without a doubt there is a still and loving presence within the heart of us all, and when any one person reclaims this connection, they becomes a beacon of light for all those around, because stillness is a rare presence in this world.
Settling for the half truths or near truths cuts us off from the whole truth that is constantly expanding. These pictures are often static and fixed when life is not fixed, the earth doesn’t stop spinning or going around the sun so why do we live as if there is a fixed point or situation or that nothing changes or has the possibility to change?
Lyndy this covers so much, only dealing with what is good and nice about life, leaves the truth behind, beautifully expressed from your inner heart.
The ancient wisdom of reconnecting with our inner hearts, with our true stillness, and thus starting the journey of reconnecting to truth and out in a beauty, has been with us for millennia, and now it behoves us all to listen to this because this is the pathway that humanity needs to walk down.
Lyndy, there are many gems in your blog for me to reflect on. On thing that stands out to me is learning to trust what we feel and observe energetically and that this provides a window to truth and understanding. Switching from relying on the brain to the body for truth goes against the grain of how most people live but your story beautifully highlights Lyndy, that this is where real healing and change stems from. Thank you.
Thank you Lyndy for a truly beautiful sharing, I can relate to your words, ” I saw that I had enjoined a false mentality that prescribed that we blindly ignore the weaknesses of others and see only the ‘good’ – this was thought to be what ‘love’ is,” This is how I too saw life, not wanting to feel the pain and suffering of the real world. I am gradually coming to see and feel that “True love sees, discerns, understands, accepts, and is entirely without judgment.”
This shows so clearly that there is an ideal picture of the world to not feel what is truly going on, and see everything, but knowing this does give the possibility to discard and just go into observing everything, which gives us the possibility to be ourself.
Those inner discoveries are so lovely to become aware of. And to think that the issue wasn’t about your mother but being fully respectful of the woman you are.
“But as I drove, bathing in this gorgeous presence, I suddenly and deeply knew this woman to be me – the essence of me.” How lovely that you finally realised that this presence was you and that you’d been able to feel this so many times throughout your life and now we know that this is actually who we are and there for the choosing.
Aha, the penny has dropped for my Lyndy – we think that by our only seeing the good in people that that’s a good thing – thinking the best of them when in actual fact we’re not accepting them just as they are so therefore there’s a judgement and means we must also be judging ourselves! Thank you.
Wow. Lyndy there is much for me to digest in this honest and beautifully written blog.
This is an inspiring sharing Lyndy. I would tend to look to the good in others and not see the all. I did a similar thing with my Mum and put her on a pedestal, and it wasn’t until she passed that I saw the real person who was lovely too, but more real. A beautiful, honest sharing thank you Lyndy.
If we only choose to see the part how do we know the true whole and what energy makes up the whole? You can avoid seeing the truth for as long as you can but eventually the truth will catch up with you and it can be an intense realisation and acceptance.
“A false mentality that prescribed that we blindly ignore the weaknesses of others and see only the ‘good’ – this was thought to be what ‘love’ is, but it was a distorted version of true love” I can so relate to living this way Lyndy, to live otherwise for me felt too painful and this is what I did not want to feel. Now I am coming to understand the beauty and acceptance in that “‘True love sees, discerns, understands, accepts, and is entirely without judgment”. Thank you.
This is so true, when we choose to only see a part, we live in our own illusion. While there is so much more to ourselves and to others in our lives, observe and feel all there is.
‘True love sees, discerns, understands, accepts, and is entirely without judgment.’ Thank you Lyndy for so honestly sharing your journey back to truth. I love your description of creating a mosaic yet how deep down we can feel the lack of wholeness and superficiality of it. It is only when we allow ourselves to see everything ‘warts and all’ that we are granted the grace of acceptance of the true beauty of our essence and from there a loving acceptance of others in their essence.
“Truth, love, and observation are one and the same thing”. I had my own mosaic picture of life made of small pieces collected here and there, assembled together but giving a deformed picture. Through the teachings of Universal Medicine this picture is slowly becoming spherical, more unified, with no sharp edges or separation between its different components.
Yes, so true alanjohnston, there is great beauty in Lyndy’s expression here.
‘I am learning about truth – and that truth, love, and observation are one and the same thing. From here I can see what there is to be seen and feel what there is to be felt. I have realised that I have been content to be superficial in how I perceive and interact with who and what is in front of me, content with not seeing and feeling everything – to the very depten.’ This asks me to ponder deeply, do I observe, do I want to see and feel everything always, do I stand for truth and thus love. Thank you Lindy for this very powerful sharing about you and your mother and truth.
Wow Lyndy what a most powerful and very touching blog, which has brought me to tears as I can relate to so much of what you have shared; the superficiality of our expression; the false/ideal mosaic of life that we have selectively created; the cocoon we have sheltered the real “us” in; and the unacknowledged grief that we carry that sits and waits for release with a longed for expression of honesty. What you have shared has given me so much to ponder on and I can feel the healing that is being lovingly offered to me and to all who read this, and these words in particular are a gentle reminder of what we all, at some level know: “There is a still and loving place within the innermost heart of every man, woman and child, from whence the truth of all can be felt, seen and known in full.” Thank you Lyndy for sharing you with us.
A very personal account of the walls we can create around ourselves through grief. ‘Because I did not want to see and feel all that was there to be seen and felt I cut myself off from the whole, and so from experiencing relationship in full with others.’ In cutting ourselves off from the whole and therefore from others, we also cut ourselves off from ourselves and lose that connection with the very essence of who we are.
I agree Victoria.. ‘Loving acceptance” rang true to me. So beautiful to read Lyndy’s expression.
I was reminded of the same presence (albeit a man!) that I experience from time to time when I connect. Its a great reminder of how huge and gorgeous I can feel, that is always available if I just allow it.
This journey with my mother and her illness is where we are travelling right now – a very real place where the temptation is to sweep over her faults and just glorify her life. But that is not real. In reality its finding the balance between honouring and appreciating all that is noble and beautiful in her essence, but also being willing to go there with her to express what has been a challenge, has not worked to let her see the evolution of her life, and for me to learn from. I love my Mother, and there is a real opportunity to learn to love all of her – ‘warts and all’ which I relish.
learning to actually observe life, ourselves, each other, to feel the energy of the interplay of what is going on all around us, is the start of reconnecting to the deep and abiding truth of who we truly are, and what humanity is here to do.
Have you accepted your mother’s death? – it is such a powerful question and one that we all will face in due time. It is fascinating to read your process of letting of the pain and hurt and beliefs surrounding your mother and in that you were then able to accept and feel more of yourself.
Thank you Lyndy your sharing was beautiful to read and deeply touching.
Beautiful sharing Lyndy, thank you. It helps me to see how we shortchange ourselves and others and limit the depth of connection available by only wanting to share the ‘good’ parts of ourselves and only wanting to see that in others.
I agree, honesty and the truth are beautiful to hear, read and express.
Lindy when I was reading your blog I became very still, thank you for sharing your wise words.
‘I chose to use that precious life energy available to me to create a false world where I saw only the acceptable, nice and good – I cut myself off from the fullness of true expression.’ I feel very humble after reading this. How precious is our life energy and what are we doing with this, something to deeply ponder on.
I am struck by the beauty of what I have just read. It has left me wondering why we can find it so hard to see just how things really are, paraphrasing you Lyndy, to see, discern, understand, and accept. I know that I have tried very hard to protect myself from seeing the pain of seeing how things really are, and that when the truth does find its way in, I can be devastated. Your blog has opened me up to consider more deeply how, without having a strong foundation of ‘the love, truth and glory ever pulsing within’, it would be this way. As always, the answer lies within.
I am deeply touched by your words Lyndy, thank you. I am learning about love and truth every day, letting go of what is not true and all the illusions I have been living in.
I am deeply touched by your words Lyndy. I am learning about love and truth every day. Letting go of what is not true and the illusion I have been living in.
This is so honest. How many of us choose to just see a certain side of someone and not the full depth of the truth? I’d say many people! Especially with our parents, we like to see people who are perfect when it’s impossible for them to be perfect. It’s amazing you let yourself see the whole picture, and the effect that had on the way you felt too.
A beautiful claiming of the loving and constant woman you are, Lyndy. It is so easy to deflect onto others what is truly known and felt within and the amazingness you experienced in relationship with your mum was a reflection of the amazingness within you. Thank you for sharing.
Lyndy what a gift you have given us in this masterpiece. Your blog makes is so clear that the true beauty and joy of life can only be experienced if we are willing to see it all. This shatters the appeal of the ‘rose coloured glasses’.
You show us powerfully how these fragments got in the way of you feeling and appreciating the real you Lyndy. Very beautiful to feel you clearing these pieces of junk out of the way and returning to your simplicity and beauty.
This is just beautiful Lyndy, gorgeously inspiring and an honor to read.
Lyndy thank you for sharing your experience as I know for me how I’ve also seen life in fragments rather than as a whole. The blog has certainly made me stop and reflect and it was really enjoyable to read.
“But as I drove, bathing in this gorgeous presence, I suddenly and deeply knew this woman to be me – the essence of me” beautiful Lyndy! I have experienced that too. That wonderful, joyfull, and fiery presence is ME.
So true Alanjohnston, this blog from you Lyndy is so honest and you sharing all of you in a vulnerable and beautifully humble way. And in that you let the reader feel the amazing power that resides within us when we open up and let our vulnerability and humility be truly seen.
Dear Lyndy this blog radiates beauty and deepness. I love the elegance of your words, their real beauty, the solidness they transpire. I love how you describe how we create the illusion we want to live in with fragments of truth. I love the revelation of what you did not want to see and the revelation that you had in your car about your soul. Thank you from my heart!!
Dear Lindy, I experienced the death of my mum very sudden as well – within 4 months she died. When it happened, I was 24, I wasn´t able to feel and see everything as well… I went into the strong Steffi not allowing me to really stop and feel how devastated this illness was making me. Your sharing here, how you didn´t wanna feel how your mum was actually living her life, is huge for me too – my mum was the perfect, funny, ‘always there for me’ mum too and to observe someones life and its consequences is pretty hard to accept or to feel. I will feel into this as well and if there is anything left, not dealt with, I will feel it. Thank you!
Wow Lindy. You have written this so beautifully, reflecting that gorgeous woman you feel with you, that is you. It is clear from Steffi’s comment that this blog will touch the hearts of many, as it has mine. And looking at the superficiality we conduct our nice love with is groundbreaking, earth shattering when you start to see that everything has just been nice and polite but not true. I used to only show my daughter my warmth and niceness only to realise she could feel everything I was going through anyway… you can’t really hide, we all just pretend. Which creates confusion. Bring on being true and real, the real us.
“The week before the above revelation, I was driving home one day when I became aware of the presence of a beautiful, radiant, loving woman enveloping me. I could feel her dignity and wisdom. This woman has many times been present with me in my life, and because Mum had died when I was 23, I had always attributed this presence to her – I always thought, “oh, my beautiful mother is with me”. But as I drove, bathing in this gorgeous presence, I suddenly and deeply knew this woman to be me” – I have experienced this also Lyndy, but my mum is still alive, I had not considered that it could be me. Thank you for sharing.
Very beautiful Lyndy. This blog is a very good reminder that what we have created is not it, there is much more, our truth-full selves. This blog really made me return to who I truly am.
I have come back to this blog today and found myself pondering more deeply over why there have been funerals of dear friends that I have not gone to in the past. I realise that I was either not accepting of the fact of their death and the circumstances around it and/or not accepting myself and how I might be at the funeral, prejudging events and how I may or may not be able to handle them. I was not being fully with me in the present moment so did not feel I could support myself in these possibly difficult situations.
Beautifully expressed Lyndy, your sharing is so honest and deeply felt, thank you.
Just beautifull Lyndy, I felt such a resonance with your words, feeling it is time to really face the many truths that are there, but from a loving place. Thank you for what you have shared it has deeply touched me.
A very honest and loving sharing Lyndy. A lovely revelation by the soul to show you that the “..beautiful, radiant , loving woman enveloping you..” wasn’t your mother but in fact your own beautiful self.
A very heart warming sharing of self unfolding, understanding and connection. Thanks Lyndy.
Reading this blog showed me that we all can have a bit of a bumpy ride before attempting to tackle truth, Thanks for this very honest blog Lyndy.
I agree, Alan. Lyndy’s blog is so beautifully honest – a deeply soulful expression.
Lyndy, I have experienced something similar, of letting myself really feel the quality of a beautiful presence I have always had with me, but had never fully claimed as being me! So thank you for honouring this for us all – ‘the presence of a beautiful, radiant, loving woman enveloping me. I could feel her dignity and wisdom.”
Lyndy, your article feels like pure gold and divinely written. I can feel the true soulfulness that you have embraced and it was inspiring for me to see how after you accepted what hurt and pain was there to feel by your mother’s death, it was released to allow space for your Soul to come to you so strongly. I also felt for the first time how I had similar experiences with a feeling of an incredibly loving, tender, powerful presence near me, and now I wonder if that was indeed my own Soul reminding me of the same beauty that is within us all. Thank you for showing what’s possible when we are willing to look at everything in this world with honesty and acceptance.
Looking at the title of this blog I understand why I hesitated over the word honest in my last comment and I realise that actually there is not only honesty but a lot more truth in our relationships and this feels so confirming of the love that we share, of the love that we are. Thank you Lyndy.
Reading this again I am feeling how my acceptance and appreciation of myself makes such a difference in my relationships with others. This is especially felt in my family and friends I have had over a long time as our old ways of relating give way to more open, caring, loving and honest interactions.
What I really understood from this blog was to not settle for the surface that is presented to me. To keep feeling whatever is there to be felt because deep down I know that beneath all the masks, covers, acts, hurts, protections, emotions everyone is love wether that is at the surface or not.
Thank you Lyndy, for sharing your experience in such an honest way.
“There is a still and loving place within the innermost heart of every man, woman and child, from whence the truth of all can be felt, seen and known in full. There is no judgment issuing from this place, only love and observation – for true love and observation are one.”
Beautiful.
“True love sees, discerns, understands, accepts and is entirely without judgement.”
This is so true and a timely reminder as I just found myself falling into judgement when talking on the phone!
A very inspiring sharing, thank you Lyndy.
Your courage to look deeper into a situation is so inspiring Lyndy, and your words of wisdom “True love sees, discerns, understands, accepts, entirely without judgement” clearly shows where we have built false ideals of love, that it can only be happening when things are ‘nice’ or ‘good’, or in the case of romantic love, meeting our needs.
How amazing to be stopped in my tracks with such sweet simple truth. I know my mosaic to be a theatre that I try to direct, act in, manage and control. I am stepping falteringly, but committed, onto a new path of letting the theatre fall away, developing a true relationship with myself (which shows me the tenderness that is always there), and not shying away from the hurt. Thank you, Lyndy.
Thank you, Matilda. Letting go of the false reality we create for ourselves seems to be a big step, but as it turns out it is the sweetest liberation from constant mental striving and tension into a more simple experience of life lived in connection to the messages from our body and soul.
Yes letting go of the theatre I have created in my life is allowing me to build a truer relationship with myself and thus with everyone around me.
Dear Lyndy, thank you for writing so clearly what I have also done, in my case with my father. My father was periodically mentally ill. So I developed a fragmented view of him, where I hated and feared the daddy who was depressed and suicidal and for many years actually ‘forgot’ that daddy completely apart from a few undeniable facts. I adored and was possessive of the daddy who was well and loving and enjoyed remembering the good times. Coming to the whole truth of what he was and who I am is what I am now doing, also with the loving support of Universal Medicine practitioners. So yes, here’s looking at you, Truth.
Truly beauty-full, Lyndy. When you said that through a superficiality in your way of expressing you had glided over the richness, rawness and beauty of life, it allowed me to deeply see how this is how I too have lived life – just choosing what I needed and wanted to see and hiding from anything that challenged me. Thank you.
Thanks for the reminder Sue to not look away from the not so pretty parts of life – a place where there is lots to learn and a good dose of love hidden behind the unexpressed hurts.
Thank you Lyndy, very beautiful.
Lyndy this is beauty-full. Thank you for sharing.
Hi Lindy, I love your such frank and open revelation of truth that shows so clearly how we create “fragments of truth and use these fragments to create a mosaic or picture of life that is not true”. I have done this too. For me it’s about wanting things to be ‘better’, to ‘fix’ and provide solutions and a ‘heaven on earth’. It’s so enticing to ‘think’ we can make a ‘heaven on earth’ to make the ‘outer’ world heaven, rather than the inner world of the love we already are.
Thank you for an inspiring article. Ariana
I love the way you have put this Ariana, that it is not about trying to create a ‘heaven on earth’ but rather coming to know again the ‘heavenliness’ that resides within every single one of us.
For you, newlookstresssolutions, ” it’s about wanting things to be ‘better’, to ‘fix’ and provide solutions and a ‘heaven on earth’. It’s so enticing to ‘think’ we can make a ‘heaven on earth’ to make the ‘outer’ world heaven, rather than the inner world of the love we already are.” For me it is about people not being “perfect” including myself and constant self loathing as well as judgement.
I guess everyone has their “picture”, creation, ideal of the world.
I agree with Lynda and yourself that our inner world, our love is already there and when we connect to it and live this love inside out-we understand our world and people and there is no need to change anything.
‘The depth of richness that we all naturally are’. A divine description Lyndy.
I am so deeply touched Lyndy, thank you.