I have been inspired by the recent blog ‘Pornography, Internet & Sex – An Insight into a Distorted World’ and my thanks go to the author for having the courage to start up the conversation on this topic. Nearly all men that I know have been affected by pornography at some point in their life, but it is a topic that bears too much shame to talk about properly – shame that we have been part of it and shame that we have contributed to the abuse of women in this way. Yet the fact is that the author of the above blog is right when he says that porn is something that controls us. It is a drug, a form of addiction, and one that is more common than we care to admit. Like any person in denial, I never thought I had an issue with porn. I was not a serial or frequent user, more an occasional if not rare recreational user, as many people like to explain themselves when defending their use of addictive substances. Yet, when I started to really question my attraction to it, I realised that my occasional foray into porn was having a huge effect on my life…
It is time that we are able to openly talk about the effects of porn on men and women alike, because men too need to be able to talk openly about what is going on here if there is to be true healing, as we are just as affected. As men it affects our ability to experience true love and intimacy with women (and other men) in ways that we don’t even realise. It taints our perception of what is real and what is not, but that is only the beginning. In the end, it owns us. It affects our dreams, our ability to see women in truth, and our ability to connect as men to our own feminine essence (which I can attest does actually exist underneath the hard exterior that so many men think is them).
Why is porn so addictive? What is it that we seek from women when we do this – is it just sexual arousal, or is it intimacy? And if it is intimacy, is that sense of intimacy best described as the ability to be affectionate with another? Maybe, but is it deeper than that? If it is just that, then why do married men do it in such large numbers when they have so much opportunity to be affectionate with their wives? From work, I know that the most serial users of porn are nearly all married men.
As for myself, I began to realise a while ago that seeking porn enabled me to feel like I was being intimate without needing to feel ‘burdened’ by the so called responsibility of being in a relationship. I felt ‘free’ in my experiences with porn. So what did that say about my relationships in life, if that was the case?
In the end I came to realise that I found it difficult to be truly intimate in my relationships because of the perceived burden I associated with them – the burden of being the provider, the bread winner, the strong supportive man, the protector etc, etc. I subconsciously associated the stress of being the provider with my relationship and it took me a long time to dare to admit this, even to myself, because I knew it was not “right” to have such feelings. My refusal to look at this openly made me start to subconsciously resent my partner in the long term. It was after realising this that I began to understand that the temptation and addiction of porn was that it served as an outlet from this stress; a place where I could pretend to experience the intimacy I secretly craved, without the burden of a relationship.
Yet this realisation was not enough to stop me looking at pictures of women posing seductively and wishing I was with them. Although it helped me to understand my attraction to porn, it did not free me completely from its addictive clutches. In order to do that, I needed to go deeper. Eventually I started to question what it was that I was seeking in women in general – what was it that I wanted from them that I could not find in myself? It was then that I realised that I wanted that stillness, that gentle-ness, tenderness, open-ness and vulnerability that women tend to show more easily in the world – characteristics that are drummed out of men by society from a very young age. So, I started to look for those characteristics in myself, and when I did, I began to realise that they are actually there residing within me – EQUALLY SO.
When I discovered this, something curious happened. I began looking at women very differently, as though a veil had been lifted from my eyes. Interestingly, as I increasingly honoured this side of myself, I came to realise that in many respects I was more connected to my female side than many women I observed. I noticed how many women in the world ignored their own female-ness as well, and as a result had become hardened in body and mind, just like the men.
Maybe this is why women are also now turning to porn in increasingly large numbers on the internet – fact. Maybe they en-masse are also starting to miss a way of being that once upon a time was much easier to connect to for women than it was for men, and so now they too turn to porn to fill the hole. Maybe now, intimacy is an expression that is becoming equally suppressed in women.
But the real evil of porn is that it comes laced. True, it does bring relief from stress, and it does SEEM to deliver a feeling of intimacy with a woman, but when you really connect to TRUE intimacy (i.e. intimacy within self) you realise just how short of the truth you were being sold. You were being sold the cheap lookalike watch, but more than that, you were being sold something way more insidious, something that easily becomes very addictive over time. Because in the end, PORN OWNS YOU. It starts to affect the way you look at women in the street, your dreams, the way you look to have sex, the expectations you have from your partner. Eventually – if you do it for long enough – it even strangely starts to affect your libido in real life, as is talked about by a scientific researcher.
When I began to connect with myself more strongly, I went back to porn to see what it was that had dragged me in. I looked not at the bodies of the women, but their eyes, to see if they had what I was feeling deep within me, and it shocked me. Because, if you look deeply into their eyes, they all have the same look, and they all look at you the same way. Their eyes are empty, with a desperation for attention that screams out at you. But underneath that, you see something else. It is like something else is looking out from behind their eyes, as though they too are owned by something, something that leers at you, something that reaches out and says “I’ve got you now and I’m not letting go”. I am talking here about the energy of porn, and it affects both men and women equally.
Not sure what I am talking about? Society has other names for it – seedy, unclean, creepy, sticky – the kind of feeling that makes you want to have multiple showers to cleanse yourself when you have been exposed to it. I had always felt this energy from porn before, but not before I had been seduced by its addictive allure, and only after I had used porn for my own means, and the excitement it offered had subsided. Of course, it was always then accompanied by the guilt and shame that followed after having being fooled again. Now I was seeing it from the outset, and it repelled me.
When I stayed connected to those “feminine” qualities that I could now feel so strongly within me, I could no longer get aroused by the images I saw – I only felt saddened. I saw then not naked women promising to fulfill my fantasies, but young daughters and mothers and sisters, slaves to an energy that now owned them, who were desperate for the attention of men – conversely, falsely hoping that men could bring them what they were missing in themselves.
So there it is. Having said all of that, Porn itself is not the problem, nor the real evil here. The real evil is that as a society we do not foster these “female” qualities that are naturally inherent in small boys in the same way we do with girls. We drum it out of them, tell them to harden up, don’t cry, grow up, be strong, don’t complain when it hurts. Yet deep down those qualities of fragility, tenderness, and vulnerability remain in every man, no matter how hard they have tried to bury them. And when they do try to reconnect to them, society tells them that they are being sissy, gay, soft, pathetic, a whinger.
In a peculiar sort of way there is a perverted honesty about the man who turns to porn as relief from the world around him, as an escape and a refuge from the hardened man he has become. For if he is willing to be reflective for a second, it tells him that something is missing in his life. For me, it was safe, and allowed me to experience the intimacy I so craved without having to open up to the world, or challenge the protective layer I held as a man. And it asked nothing of me in return – or so I thought. Yet when I did challenge who I was, and connected to the beauty that was within me, I was able to finally see the true nature of porn – an addictive, ugly lure that falsely offers to replace something that we deeply miss within ourselves. For me, I realised that what I was missing was that feeling of loveliness that I knew so naturally as a child. Once I connected to that, the addictive allure of porn had no hold.
By Adam Warburton, Pottsville, Australia
Related Reading:
Pornography, Internet & Sex, An Insight into a Distorted World
The Harm of Pornography
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
This is a very interesting blog to read Steve, because I heard the other day that people who use porn are actually craving true intimacy which is something that is lacking in society. We are all born sensitive and delicate; you just have to be in the presence of a new born baby to know this. But these feelings are bludgeoned out of us from the start. Boys especially are encouraged from an early age not to cry and to toughen up. When we are able to reconnect and reestablish the beauty that is within us then we find that the energy of addiction has no hold over us any more that we have freed ourselves of its sickly temptations.
Thank you, Adam, for this reminder of my natural fragility, tenderness and gentleness. The way out of porn seduction is indeed to return to that state of being intimate with oneself and having a relationship with oneself first. Avoiding going deeper with oneself and with another is one aspect of why men like to watch porn. But also to get a quick relief from the stresses in life and also to feel the fulfilment of not being rejected, or being able to have power over a woman- is an even darker aspect that is revealed in the theme. For often repugnant acts are portrayed in porn that purposefully subjugate and make the woman submissive – symbolising the subjugation of the sacredness in us. Porn is definitely one of the most damaging tools in the world that destroys men and women, and is the killer of true intimacy and integrity. It also reflects for me the perversity of the energy that purposefully separates us and uses us as game pieces. I can also feel what it does to our thoughts and feelings, how restless and agitated we feel when we are in the throes of porn addiction. This feeling is far away from the described stillness and holiness that makes us feel truly fulfilled and the true form of being.
I have heard from conversations that I have had that ‘porn’ is becoming more and more hard core and subjugating of woman. My question has to be is this because we are finding more and more ways to block or run away from ourselves because we don’t want to feel or admit that we are actually very sensitive human-beings that crave the love that we refuse to give ourselves? The cravings are getting stronger and stronger to reunite with the love we hold within us and to offset this we go further and further into denial and so we are becoming more and more extreme in our behaviours to offset what in truth cannot be off set and that is our return to God.
The energy of porn laces more than just nude images, I often feel it around models fully clothed in advertising, the lure is there to use another body for self interest. What’s great about this article is it’s not condemning or judgmental, just honest to explore and uncover what’s underneath, and sharing that also offers the reader a true healing. Thanks Adam for sharing the truth here.
So much has changed when we let go of these controlling interests, as the way we walk and talk now carries a true energy and this is now reflected for others to also feel, so then the deep-humble-appreciative-ness that we can hold as a man or woman becomes a power-full way of living as it is with all young children!
Having been sexually molested at an early age porn always seem like a forbidden fruit as my life was turned upside down by the reality that was so confusing because of not knowing my sexual orientation. So my dreams became about confusing messages with women having a penis and testicles. Today thanks to the Esoteric Healing I have received, the dreams have gone and I now hold myself as a Truly Loving man.
Porn affects both men and women in a miriad of ways – “it affects our ability to experience true love and intimacy with women (and other men) in ways that we don’t even realise. It taints our perception of what is real and what is not, but that is only the beginning. In the end, it owns us.” – When we stop to feel this, it offers us an opportunity to make a true change and explore further the hold it can have on us and how to let it go and come back to a natural way of being in relationships – after all intimacy is natural to us in the true sense of the word – showing who you are and all of who you are with no holes barred.
Intimacy in its true expression is not supported in our current society and world. We are naturally intimate beings, and when this expression of ourselves is shut down for whatever reasons, we do harden and abandon our natural tenderness and openness and instead adopt a hardness, a closed off approach and in this disconnection we can then choose to use another and abuse another as well as ourselves, rather than honour another and ourselves for the truly delicate and sensitive beings that we are.
Henrietta I agree with you when we close ourselves off from ourselves and humanity then in this disconnection there is every indication that we are more abusive as we lack understanding towards ourselves and others. We are not in charge of our bodies any more it’s as though something else has taken control and we have become the bystander. We are not evil it is the evil that we allow through by being closed off from ourselves.
Thank you Adam for this blog, to often men think that watching porn is innocent and are not aware of the addictive nature and what energy is truly playing out here. I recently spoke with a man about his realization that there is a strong drive and need in him and then feels guilty and bad about it afterwards. To be able to speak about this was for him a great support and a start to uncovering in himself where this is coming from just as you did for you.
I agree Richard, it is crucial to give space to boys, young men and old to feel and sense what arises within them and not bury it. Every boy and man is naturally gentle, sensitive, tender and fragile within even though they may be in protection and carry a hardened body.
Yes Adam, I can vouch a woman that knows her beauty and radiance can smell pornography a mile or many miles away but the more she claims her natural glory and sparkle within, the less she becomes affected by it. She has understanding and says ‘no’ to playing a game that keeps and destroys a man and woman from truly knowing who they are.
In the world of addictions, we move first and choose. Once we settle into our choice, we are owned by it (them). We need it (them) to go about our life. It becomes our point of return, of confirmation, of identification. It brings meaning to life. It is a miniscule all that shows us our capacity to reduce life to a point and make it our everything.
The world is full of addictions, like we are being controlled by an unseen force.
Porn—just nominate and cut it. It once crept into my bedroom when I first dated someone I deeply love. And the simplicity was, porn can never compare to the level of true intimacy we have experienced in that bedroom and beyond. Simply saying that has cut it, as Truth was felt.
i love this simple sweetness you bring it back to. Porn cannot compare with the tenderness and openness we are naturally capable of.
This is fascinating. And it is sad that pornography cannot be always seen for what it is, and that people, men and women, can be so taken by it – a self feeding industry that looks to have no end and is stretching its tendrils out beyond the false reality of the flat screen and in to the daily reality of life as sex-trafficking is becoming more and more fervent throughout the world.
Having read this before something new stood out to me and that was how men look at women when porn has influenced them. What also occurred to me is that more boys and girls are looking at porn at a younger age these days, so what would the quality of their relationships be for the years ahead.
Porn is no different than any addiction – once you go there it can pull you in and take a hold.
The feeling of being responsible for your partner and shouldering the burden of providing for them must be a huge kill joy, and would definitely impact on being able to enjoy intimacy with them. Clearly you will not feel light and loving with someone who you feel the pressure to support them, feeling like they a weight to carry. This could lead to resentment, lack of appreciation and also feeling you deserve some relief from this ball and chain. What a huge setup for men in relationships to look elsewhere for intimacy.
“But the real evil of porn is that it comes laced.” – You are sold short of the truth, and tricked (allowed by yourself) so that you do not seek the real deal. Hence it cannot but affect you in your relationships with self and all others. Now this is not a pleasant realisation!
Brilliant expose Adam, and great to hear a man’s perspective written with honesty and having come through to the ‘other side’ so to speak! What a healing as a woman to read what you have written and to understand all the intricacies at play with pornography.
You hit the nail on the head with this blog Adam porn is essentially seeking connection and relief without intimacy. It is essentially wanting or craving another, the sexual desire, but without any notion of love. For me it denigrates the act of making love into purely a physical sexual act rather than the union of 2 which when love is made the vast difference is felt and you would never want to nor imagine going back to sex let alone porn.
Brilliant to read this again, I can understand on a much deeper level what you are sharing here now that I have returned to being more intimate with myself by reconnecting to my true inner qualities. Porn is so rife and it feels confronting to come across, the level of abuse inherent in it is easy to feel, however your words have offered a very true understanding of why people seek it. It helps to take the judgement and shock out of it. I can also understand how the socialisation of men and the burdens they feel can lead to resentment of women and the subsequent escape into porn.
Brilliantly exposing the true evil of porn. Thank you, Adam. What I am getting from reading this is how a half-baked honesty that stops short of self-responsibility can act as justification to our ill-choice. It offers a degree of understanding to why we do what we do, but if we distract ourselves away from the true issue that lies underneath, we are giving our ill-behaviour a license to be – for it to create its own industry that foster the same in others.
Why is it that articles like this that bring to our conscious awareness the true beauty and inner essence that resides in every man is not ranking high on google? Could it be that once owned, grabbed by porn that it hurts so deeply to extricate self from this path that the blinkers get put on and the behavior continues in a way that we absolutely know is not true? Whatever the reason, this article and others like it are the guiding lights offered to anyone who wishes to stop this behavior.
Porn is a form of addiction. No question about this. This form of addiction may not be the only one a porn addict may profess. Yet, other people have their own forms of addictions that may not be seen necessarily as addictions either. We have to start calling things by their real name. Only when someone acknowledges that has an addiction may trace it to its root cause and understand what is going on, where does the addiction comes into play and what does it talk to.
It’s very interesting Adam that the more you became aware of and connected to your own vulnerabilities the more you could see through the facade of porn with both clarity and understanding.
Yes, it is important to bring understanding and awareness into what is the purpose of the addiction, ‘I began to understand that the temptation and addiction of porn was that it served as an outlet from this stress; a place where I could pretend to experience the intimacy I secretly craved, without the burden of a relationship.’
Even just hearing about the types of images available on the internet secondhand from others has at times made me gag and feel sick and disturbed. The fact that these images exists affects us all whether we view them or not as we can feel the creepy slimy energy that comes through the many that do view them.
Yes it is only through claiming our own inner qualities that we stop needing others to satisfy us in anyway.
You are quite right that Porn is an addiction and a very harmful one at that. Reading about porn induced erectile dysfunction, it was clear the downward spiral these men had entered into when starting their relationship with Porn. They became anxious, had feelings of shame and trouble having relationships with women. When they stopped using porn, they couldn’t believe the difference it made to all these symptoms that they had come to think of as who they were.
In recent times there has been a lot of exposure on sexual assault and abuse by priests, celebrities and massage parlours. Yet what of the culture of sexualising people in so-called normal ways such as pornography? If we do not address what leads someone to use pornography we will not even come close to recognising how to truly stop sexual assault and other crimes. In other words, it never starts with the extremes…
“what was it that I wanted from them that I could not find in myself?” This is a question we have to honestly ask ourselves when we have a need for someone else to make us feel complete.
“Porn itself is not the problem, nor the real evil here.” this is a huge realization, for the real problem is our inability to connect to that which is of truth, to actually go deep and let go of the hurts that keep making us look for relief in order to function in life and embracing our fragility and true intimacy within ourselves.
Francisco Clara there is always more for us to discover about our true fragility and true intimacy within ourselves. This is an ever deepening discovery of ourselves. We scratch around on the surface of life without understanding that there are depths of qualities to us that we are in total ignorance of.
Thank you for writing this blog Adam as to me you bring the actual point to the fore, that we are craving the intimacy and loveliness we knew as a child but have lost in life through it abusive way being told how to be as a men, but actually the same for women too. In that view we actually cannot go ‘to war’ against porno, although the excess might need action from us, but ultimately have to rediscover in ourselves that intimacy and loveliness that is still there and always will be.
This is a beautiful piece of writing from a deeply connected, feminine, tender man. Great insights on how and why we use porn and the path that leads there from the suppression of those tender, feminine qualities in boys leading to hardening and disconnection (and the equivalent now in girls too) to that safe intimacy which porn offers to fill, but at a price of owning us. This is such a commentary on our societies and how we live that we quash that tenderness in each other and a great showing that everything is connected.
Adam a great blog in realising how the lack of true connection to the tenderness men have available to them can result in men feeling a lack of intimacy, yet society is set up to make men dismiss that connection in favour of being hard and being seen as strong, when women truly embrace their own tenderness it encourages men to connect to their tenderness too.
This is such a brilliant read – the insights that you share here Adam are priceless – thank you.
Thank you for sharing so openly here that the thing we all miss is the intimacy with ourselves, that we know so well, yet have let the circumstances of our lives bury.
Such an insightful article into a problem that is impacting our societies at greater and greater levels. It is now commonplace to have children not even in their teens download porn from the easily available internet world. Such is the desperation that society has en masse for not being met in the love and warmth we so crave. Porn will continue to be one of the go-to substitutes to fill that gaping hole, until we decide to look within us, and reconnect back to the tender, exquisite and ‘womanly’ qualities we so crave – men and women alike.
We get drawn to porn because there is something missing in our lives, so essentially the porn is a symptom of something going on for us. You can blame the porn, but the real problem is the fact that we have to turn inwards to see why we are attracted to it in the first place.
Absolutely Henrietta, the Porn industry is one of the many ill symptoms that point to the fact there is something deeply disturbing in the way we live and interact with each other. We have so many markers showing us that as a society we have failed, but somehow we seem to think that if we can just tweak this or that then everything will be okay. I wonder how bad does life have to get for us before we say enough is enough?
“The real evil is that as a society we do not foster these “female” qualities that are naturally inherent in small boys in the same way we do with girls. We drum it out of them, tell them to harden up, don’t cry, grow up, be strong, don’t complain when it hurts. Yet deep down those qualities of fragility, tenderness, and vulnerability remain in every man, no matter how hard they have tried to bury them. And when they do try to reconnect to them, society tells them that they are being sissy, gay, soft, pathetic, a winger.” – Well said Adam, and in a similar way girls also need to have this tenderness fostered and encouraged as otherwise the same pitfall of porn will affect them too, as you have mentioned in your blog.
Definitely a topic worth talking about, I can feel my resistance that in turn adds to the pool of denial. It’s time to get a little uncomfortable so truth can come.
A great in-detailed summary of porn. Covered it all! The only way I feel to respond or comment is to be myself via an honest appraisal on my feelings and otherwise knowing of porn.
I can feel how I give myself over to life – that reduces my intimacy and openness. We are built-in to receive what’s next in life but instead we close off and react why how our openness and tenderness has not been received before when actual fact when I am in my fragility (and I am a big man), this is what the world men and women are craving. It’s just that the energy of porn is coming through many to create the offset of emotions that denies this equisite beauty when in fact when this inner-delicateness within yourself is truly honoured it is embraced. As Adam openly expresses it must be embraced by you first which may feel confronting to start with ..
I love how you went deeper with choosing to understand what was attracting you to these pictures, ‘what was it that I wanted from them that I could not find in myself? It was then that I realised that I wanted that stillness, that gentle-ness, tenderness, open-ness and vulnerability that women tend to show more easily in the world – characteristics that are drummed out of men by society from a very young age. So, I started to look for those characteristics in myself, and when I did, I began to realise that they are actually there residing within me – EQUALLY SO.’
Porn is attracting a younger audience which is really sad and disturbing. Great to have this subject exposed for the harm and destructive nature it has, ‘porn is something that controls us. It is a drug, a form of addiction’.
The effects of porn are now more widespread than ever before with the internet and media propagating it like a rampant weed. Porn harms people, it takes away their tenderness, intimacy and inner connection. There is no other way to say it.
I have found that intimacy is what we have misunderstood in a big way. Your blog is sharing with us the energy that perpetuates a behaviour that shuts down that intimacy completely. Even though the act itself is physically incredibly intimate, there is no real connection when one, other or both are imagining a picture when engaged in this most intimate act. There is so much harm in the energy that shuts down the ability to connect deeply with another, to allow yourself to be completely open with another.
Thank you for this honest blog Adam. You have opened up a topic that really needs to be spoken about. Thanks for sharing and going deeper to explore the issues that trigger porn addiction and how it changes our behaviour towards each other.
Porn, like anything, can only work if their is a demand for it. It is like sugar – promising so much, addictive and it keeps people coming back for more because they get the initial rush, then the crash, and then they want more. Deal with the ‘why’ you need it, and the demand drops away, therefore the supply isn’t needed.
“…I saw then not naked women promising to fulfill my fantasies, but young daughters and mothers and sisters, slaves to an energy that now owned them…” – by being willing to explore what porn was to you Adam, it was like a veil being removed from over your eyes so you could see what was really there. Not woman who were sexy and appealing, but women who were themselves craving something that they had known possibly in their early lives, and were so desperately missing.
Porn shows he is missing something in his life.
A great blog if you want to know more about the effect porn has and the true reason why we do it.
Porn is in great support of keeping intimacy out of our lives as through the eyes of porn we can only see the other person as a sex object that has to fulfill our needs and to bring us relief. While this is far from the truth of who we are and that what people actually can bring to us, it is amongst us in many ways and with an intensity that to me is increasing every year only to offset that what is continuously being asked of us, that is to build deeply intimate relationships instead.
the way porn has infiltrated into all aspects of our lives through the medium of devices, film, tv, computer games and the internet is robbing our children, and adults of the potential for true intimacy and relationships – at what price for the future of our communities and the health of everyone.
Love this blog, it is our sensitivity and feminine quality that holds us in our own strength. And gives us the opportunity to see the truth of what pornography is offering us. A very false and creepy energy, that is implying intimacy but is far from providing that. As nothing can fill the void that is left than our own choice of coming back to our true qualities.
It’s interesting that couples see porn as a way to get intimacy and connection within their own relationship, but from what the author has written here, this seems highly unlikely seeing as the men and women are owned by an energy that is not about connection. So using porn in this way will never deliver the quality of connection that couples crave within their relationships, but will only add a feeling of separation and dissatisfaction with each other, not forgetting feeling guilty, empty, let down.
‘Because in the end, PORN OWNS YOU.’ This is very true Adam… porn uses you far more than you use it.
so much is here for us to consider. and the rise in porn amongst women, men, and now even children spells disaster for the future of our relationships, and the abuse of all in this deeply destructive energy. Like with so much the world offers, it offers a false cheap and corrupted imitation of the truth we naturally seek, and sells us drastically short. The true connection intimacy and love starts with ourselves, and only then can we bring true honouring and intimacy with another, so lets not to continue to seek outside of us from emptiness and need but rediscover we hold all the love and love for all already within.
Dear Adam, a stunning read on your relationship with porn. Deeply honest, brave, insightful, engaging and offers the reader much to consider. It is quite amazing when you take the time to get honest about something that you are addicted to, and explore the reasons why and take it as deep as you can go, then you return to it and see it in a whole different light when it no longer has its hooks in you.
As a human race, we are all trying to fill up so many holes in so many ways – porn, drama, icecream, chocolate, alcohol and drugs, hard work, no work, sport, charity work – the list is endless. I loved that it was your connection to you, and in this case learning to connect to your femaleness, that ceased your attraction to porn. For each of us, and our own stories, we need to find what it is for us that has got us hooked, then do what is needed from there. Universal Medicine and their healing modalities and presentations are an incredible support to do just that – combined with your own willingness it is a power-full combination. Thank you Adam for taking the time to share this with us all.
It’s only when we see it without the veil Adam that you amazingly described is when we see the truth, the truth is Porn is an abuse of women, and Men enjoy hiding in this to get intimacy they aren’t getting in real life.
Connecting with those feminine qualities within us really is a way to save ourselves from the addiction to porn, because like any addiction if we just try and change the behaviour then we have nothing within us to go to that we trust, but when we are connecting more with ourselves and the delicateness and preciousness of others than porn simply doesn’t fit and is not satisfying.
Adam, I have no words to describe the blessing we have received after reading this blog..its HUGE. The whole need of pornography and the energy behind it is exposed. We are more free to feel and think after the awareness and clarity you brought to us. More free to be our feminine selves and claim our feminine parts (men and women). I am stunned – as at the same time I know that by this blog you helped us clear for good the illusion about pornography, if truly grasped and accept and initiate that which you have exposed.
Younger and younger children are these days being hooked into porn. It is such an addictive, harmful and rampant energy we really need to take a much deeper look at our society and question what is going on here and what is the wider ailment that is leading to this choice?
Reading your last line: “I was missing was that feeling of loveliness that I knew so naturally as a child” so what does that say about younger and younger children turning to porn and not getting to experience their loveliness. What is going on with our society and our children?
Ultimately the thing about porn is – I am not sure we are truly aware of just what we are letting in when allowing ourselves to be caught in its clutches.
If we are willing to truly see the energy of porn as you’ve described here Adam, and how “…in the end, PORN OWNS YOU.” we can unravel so very much, and not only about porn itself. For how much are we bombarded in our everyday lives with images, products and more that are designed to ‘hook’, designed to allure and tempt us with something that promises us something – a moment of ecstasy, a getting off on something, a reward, a promise of a better life…?
We are wise to look beyond the ‘surface offering’ and what then may ‘own us’ – and be willing to learn about the energetic consequences of saying ‘yes’ to something that at times, equates to (metaphorically) inviting the vampire over your threshold and into your home… Once that’s occurred, you are no longer in control. Until that is, you decide to reclaim yourself from why you said ‘yes’ in the first place.
Brilliantly and so openly stated and shared Adam Warburton, thank-you.
Our willingness to see beyond the surface of porn and into the deeper layers you have described is key here – for it reveals how much we truly miss connection with ourselves and the power of real love and intimacy in our lives.
It has been my experience that as I took more time to take for myself in the choices I made, things unrelated to the act of watching porn or even considering sex, the desire to watch porn disappeared from my life. So for me porn had that energetic hold when I was seeking something to fill an empty feeling, what is an energetic hold it could be asked, I would say it is when you do something to fill up a part of you that feels unsetttled and unhappy with your lot, there is a hole for that creepy seedy feeling to take hold. The more we care for ourselves the less room there is for such a desire to arise as it can never match what it feels to create intimacy with yourself in how we live. And as men and women, I guess it is how open and free of fear we are to create intimacy in all aspects of our lives, not just in the bedroom, but in how we relate to ourselves and other people.