Rebuilding my Hard Body with Care

by Tony Steenson, Bricklayer, Goonellabah, Australia

I use a lot of cement in my work as a bricklayer, but it isn’t just the cement that goes hard – I noticed I was turning into a lump of concrete too as I realised I had been creating a very hard body. For a long time it had all been about getting the job done, it didn’t matter what price my body paid.

WORK HARD + PLAY HARD = HARD BODY

The hard body I had wasn’t necessarily a physical description of my body, it was also how it felt from the inside out. It was like your hand when it makes a fist – it goes all tight and hard and feels very constrictive. That’s how my body felt, very tight and constricting, all locked in, my shoulders and chest especially so, but also my internal organs were like they wanted to be a fist as well.

Of course I was going to have a hard body because I treated myself very hard: I worked hard, I played hard and I became hard.

Whilst growing up, sometimes when I hurt myself my father would say to me “Is it bleeding?”. If I replied “no“, then he would say that it didn’t hurt.

But it did.

As I grew up I took on dad’s sayings more and more, to the point where I wouldn’t even stop when I hurt myself at work… or if it was bleeding a lot I would just wrap it up with my old friend, Mr. gaffa tape.

I am in no way blaming dad for the lack of care I gave myself. I was under the impression that to be a man I couldn’t show pain or emotion; to do so would be considered weak and feminine and I so didn’t want that because I was a man. From a young age boys are given all sorts of lines to try to make them stop showing their emotions or sharing their feelings – this is not ok. Boys are just as fragile and caring as girls, but society is crushing that.

I was ignoring how my body was physically feeling. I didn’t see the point in taking the time to tend to myself properly and I saw myself as fairly tough that I was able to work on despite an injury or not feeling well.

REBUILDING MY MACHINE, AKA MY BODY

I put my job before me.

I basically turned myself into a machine, one that could work at the same pace day in day out, sunshine or no shine. Hard and fast was how I lived and worked.

But what I forgot was that a machine needs regular maintenance or eventually it will need to be re-built. And that’s what I have been doing of late… re-building myself back to that original, pristine condition that we all first came here in.

What has been of importance is why did I choose to spend most of my life neglecting how my body was functioning?

I can honestly say that I thought I was indestructible, that my body would just keep going and going until I was older and then I would die, and if it did happen to stop along the way then a doctor would fix me up so I could keep going.

Real men were tough and only felt pain if they lost an arm or something, so I thought (isn’t it bizarre what we consider to be manly traits?).

I also thought that I wasn’t that important – that I was just a bricklayer, but that has changed. I am a son of God just as you are and we deserve to take care in everything regarding our bodies.

These days I take great care of myself and my body is showing it and feeling it. I am quite toned physically but I don’t have the hard body I used to have, or feel hard inside. Because I am taking care of my outside in a loving way, it is allowing me to be more tender and loving, and my inside feels exquisite.

Inspired by the work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine

160 thoughts on “Rebuilding my Hard Body with Care

  1. When we come to the understanding that we are sons of God and therefore we come from love, treating our body or another with disrespect is not remotely possible. Tony it is very inspiring to read of the journey you undertook to discover the real and true you, and I feel sure your blog will inspire other men to know that they too can treat themselves with love and care whatever their back ground has been.

  2. Tony you’re an inspiration to other men on how to care for your body, especially since you work as a tradesman. Many can burn out at a certain age because of the way they have worked pushing and exhausting their bodies until eventually the body gives up. You bring a very practical and real way of how to support your body no matter what your job is.

  3. A hard body is not necessarily part of the (bricklayer) job description. It is something you bring into this activity as you choose an activity that provides the perfect alibi to keep in a pattern of movement you are already in. The latter is not restricted to this profession. We choose professions where we can fit well our way of moving in life. So, more than professions we are confirming movement we feel comfortable with.

    1. And hence, we can use many excuses along the way to excuse ourselves from a certain movement or conseil our movements that we know are actually not good for us. What makes us do that, and why?

  4. We are born tender beings yet when we are fed beliefs as we grow up we take on that belief that reconfigures our whole body to live the opposite to what we naturally are inside us. Learning to take care of ourselves and become more gentle in the way we hold and treat our body releases the hardness we build to protect ourselves with so that we naturally return to the tenderness we once felt when we were young.

  5. I think we kind of assume that to do a tough physical job we need a tough body – but what if this is not the case, and like you discovered you can do a hard, demanding job without actually being hard in or on yourself.

  6. How beautiful Tony, thanks heaps for sharing letting your expression out and exposing the falsity of what we have made manhood to be.. WORK HARD + PLAY HARD = HARD BODY, you have well shared. But, luckily we can see and observe from this piece of writing that there is a way to dissolve this, truly heal and become tender in life. Profound.

  7. The image of what a man is ‘supposed’ to be in this day and age is far from who he truly is within, and it this belief that is harming the potential of who men truly are in order for them to live the innate strength of their tenderness through all that they do, and bless the world as a result. A what point did we submit to the ideal that the body of a man is less tender or less deserving of love than that of a woman anyway?

  8. ‘Boys are just as fragile and caring as girls, but society is crushing that.’ Very true Tony, we all need to allow men to express their tenderness and gentleness instead of society telling them to toughen up and harden so they can’t feel anymore. The current model we have is not working as many young men are struggling and the amount of suicides have increased perhaps due to how crushed men feel and unable to express their true selves.

  9. Touching Tony. Especially being a bricklayer you took quite a detour what the people around you are doing in general are doing: work hard, play hard, using you body as a machine. What an example you are in that world.

  10. I have been feeling quite a bit of hardness in my body lately especially in the way I am with others at work – the way I speak, the way I hold myself – and I can feel how that is all dictated by the beliefs and ideals based on the past experience and I am amazed at how easy it is to form a pattern and become that. Your sharing reminds me that it is also very possible to apply the same mechanism to bring back the true quality and essence, by appreciating and making conscious choices based on what is true.

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s