by Rod Harvey, Marketing Manager, Gold Coast
Before my involvement with Universal Medicine, I had limited tolerance for people who blamed their past for emotional issues or problems in their lives. My attitude was “well, that’s the past, get over it and on with it, and here’s a personal development book to fix it”. After all, I had my life sorted… so I thought.
Outwardly, I was confident, yet there I was, striving at various sports to prove I was good enough; putting ridiculous hours into work to show I was worthwhile; struggling for years to find my purpose in life and getting drunk at the pub to relieve tension.
No, “I didn’t have any issues”.
After attending various presentations by Serge Benhayon, I realised that I didn’t really ‘have it together’ as I’d thought. I’d been faking it. In fact I had buried my issues, particularly relating to self-esteem and my need for recognition. I also recognised behaviours I used to distract me from life.
One in particular was my predisposition to ‘live’ in the future. I spent much time in that imaginary world. Some of my favourite phrases were: “when I’ve got more money I’ll…” or “when I do this I’ll be able to do that” or “when I lose weight I’ll start exercising”.
When I realised that the unresolved emotions trapped in my body were indeed affecting me, I decided to do something about it. Gradually, I discarded much of what I held in my body with the support of Universal Medicine workshops and various practitioners.
There were some things I had to face up to that I wasn’t proud of and nerves were touched. However, by taking responsibility and being open and honest, I found the ‘letting go’ process to be liberating and healing.
As I discarded my unresolved issues, it felt as if numerous anchors that had been holding me back were released. Now I feel lighter and it’s much more enjoyable to float through my days.
However, it was the following personal family experience that really revealed to me what it means to let go…
My father served in three campaigns during World War II and afterwards held a strong bitterness against the Japanese, yet not so against the Italians or Germans. He never said why and we didn’t ask. We knew something lingered beneath the surface.
Our family didn’t buy Japanese cars or products for a long time. After about 20 years, Dad relented, and my parents bought a Japanese car and household items.
Dad had a very gentle nature. In his 40’s he gave up smoking and drinking and would often prepare his own healthy meals. My mother was very generous, particularly with food, money and herself. Yet there were sporadic times when she would get angry and shriek with rage – it was ear splitting and out of character.
Later in life she loved playing bingo and giving her friends presents and lifts in her (Japanese) Mazda. Yet, there were still those unexplained outbursts, often followed by tears.
As they moved into their mid 80’s I felt that Dad was ready to pass on, but held on for mum’s sake. Her health was deteriorating and she was losing balance and her anger bursts were becoming more regular. Dad was getting feebler and eventually both moved into a high care nursing home.
After 18 months, Dad died peacefully in his sleep. Mum was grief-stricken; after more than 60 years of marriage she had lost her rock. Her body deteriorated further and tightened up, with rigid frozen arms locked into her chest. Her ability to communicate with us became limited.
Around this time, through an elderly relative, I discovered that my mother was abandoned as an infant for a few months when she was sent to a foster home after her father died when her mother couldn’t cope; and again at the age of 14 she was sent to a foster home when her mother remarried and there were problems within a blended family.
This was a real surprise to us, as mum never talked about it. Instead she held it in for most of her life, with no counselling or sharing. That’s the way they did things. No wonder her release valve was the angry outbursts; it was her way of releasing her frustration and sadness. It explained much to us.
Eighteen months after dad died, mother followed. One of my sisters was present the moment she passed on and in that instant my mother’s rigid body immediately let go and all of her tightness vanished. She had held onto her hurts closely until her last breath. It was a relief for me to know that my lovely mother was liberated from the pain and turmoil of her trapped emotions.
My father died peacefully. He had reconciled his past, forgiven his enemy and moved on. Yet my mother had not cleared her emotional anguish and her body reflected that, right up until the moment when she passed over.
The lesson for me was clear: don’t hold onto unresolved emotions in the body.
Let go and live.
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
So beautiful Joel. Truly blessed to read this and learn from all that’s been shared. Being touched in my heart to see the healing that occurs, where passing over simply stand symbol for.
Let go and live.
This is such a beautiful story Rod and it makes it so very clear how important it is to not hold onto things or more so the consequences there are when we do. Thank you, it deepens my understanding that no personal experience I hold onto is too minor to share and lay open so it can be released from my body freeing myself from the burdens I believed I must carry.
Simple and beautiful Rod, thank you. Healing what’s there to be healed with full awareness is liberating, and allows us to fulfil our true potential instead of live a life of tension and struggle we don’t fully understand.
I too have felt the internal fight to make us feel worthy, good enough, all of the time using outward success as my goal. Through Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine I have learnt that through looking after ourselves first, we are able to live life through a higher quality, and letting go of our past hurts frees us to live a more natural life that isn’t always at the mercy of what happened before.
It’s a common theme to hold on because it is familiar and ‘easy’ to do. The best starting point for me has been to admit that I am holding on.
An awesome reminder to let go of our hurts, it is our responsibility to heal and let go of this energy, otherwise it will have an effect on ourselves and those around us.
Thank you for sharing Rod, yes it is so important to deal with our hurts and issues, and not to leave them buried, to heal them so we are able to live and let go.
Rod what a gift it was for you to observe what letting go looks like compared to holding on until the last breath. We can learn so much from others, even how they choose to die. It has made me ponder on what issues I may still be holding onto. Your blog has been an inspiration to look a bit deeper.
Let go and live, what amazing words to build a life on. You can either hold onto a hurt or a problem and suffer every day until you pass over, or you can let it go and make life what it’s truly about.
Such a powerful blog Rod with a powerful message you deliver for all of us…. how many times have I held onto my hurts because that was all I knew. But since attending courses by Serge and Universal Medicine I have cleared and healed so much, and like yourself I feel tons lighter, and my body shape reflects this lightness that I now feel. Also when we let go we create more space in the body for love and grace to flow.
My parents deaths mirrored your parents passing Rod and both experiences were a great life lesson for me too, about holding on to issues and then pretending that they don’t exist. We can fool ourselves as much as we like, and get very accomplished at doing so, but sooner or later they will explode out of us just like a volcano when the pressure gets too high. If we were raised from young to share how we feel – honestly – and to know that it’s perfectly all right to ask for help we would have such a strong and steady foundation to support us when times get challenging, without a self destructive volcano in sight
Very true Rod, I can relate to having unresolved emotions in my body and how I got quite sick at one time from this. Learning to let go of emotions and not reacting to everything around me has been key to moving forward with more awareness, greater health and well-being.
Rod, thank you for sharing your experiences and family life, there are many observations you have made which offer much wisdom. One thing you mentioned was the ways you distracted yourself from life, I hadn’t realised til reading that some of my behaviours are still in place to simply not feel what’s there to feel about life. We don’t realise what sensitive beings we are, and the behaviours are part of trying to manage how difficult life feels at times.
Many of us have witnessed generations who have held onto their pain, their hurts – not to be ‘talked about’, yet clearly impacting upon not only their lives, but the lives of those around them.
I can’t help but wonder what it is to open the door to the possibility of discussing the past – it is of course for another to choose to do so or not, but there may indeed by times where we need not perpetuate the cycles of withholding and actually open the door to greater understanding, sharing of generational experiences and potentially, for healing to occur.
Simply because we care.
I agree Victoria. While there needs to be sensitivity and patience to provide the space to allow another to open up, the potential for healing is enormous. And with the extraordinary number of suicides we are now witnessing, that caring, nurturing space is urgently needed for the younger generation.
How freeing it is to jettison burdens.
Beautifully said Rod, and therein is another blog, article, and so much more to be said…
For it is not only the older generations who may be silently holding their pain within, but people of any age, demographic, status… who are essentially not coping.
What is our response to this, when we perceive something’s not right? Do we turn a blind eye, or do we offer the space for connection – without imposition, but rather, from an openness within ourselves…
For if we turn the blind eye, we ourselves have closed down, and the deep sensitivity of another will know this to be so – potentially only fuelling the sense of isolation and rejection that he or she may feel.
To put what Rod has shared into context in a living body, how much harm do we cause to our physical bodies by holding on to our emotional hurts? A lot, I say, that could, would and has, if not caused illnesses in our bodies, has certainly added to our bodies imbalance and illness.
It takes a lot of honesty Rod to express that we thought we had it all together. It were indeed just as affected by issues as everyone else. I too felt like this once I started to feel the impact holding onto things was having in me, and started to have a more honest relationship with what was really going on. I believed strongly especially in high school that you had to look happy, invincible and charismatic to get by in the world – which was somehow a bastardised version of the very Joyfull, humorous and big person (big energy) that I naturally am.
Your comment has brought to the fore the responsibility we have to let go of our hurts. For if we don’t, we are denying the rest of the world the opportunity to see and feel our reflection and the inspiration and healing this will offer.
It’s a powerful image Rod – that of both of your parents at their passing. It is so clear – express and let go, surrender to life, no need to fight, trust, be open and vulnerable – simply let go.
Thank you for this story, it is an important one to read and to take on board. Let go and live.
I enjoy your honesty Rod, and it shows how thinking we’ve got it together can be a form of arrogance that actually holds us back until we are able to allow ourselves to be more vulnerable and be who we are ‘warts and all’. This mental way of living also lays judgment on others so, as we free ourselves, we also free others to be themselves.
Great title Rod: Let Go and Live. We are only half living if we are holding on to things. We may think they keep us safe and protected but it builds up a tension in the body and, like with your mum’s rigid arms, once we surrender they naturally release.
Thank you for sharing this Rod. It is sweet, intimate and revelatory. Taking responsibility for our choices and giving others the grace to make theirs is one of the most respectful, and understanding things we can do.
What also strikes me reading this blog is trust: we hold on because we don’t trust enough to let go of whatever we think is part of us – the density of heavy emotions. But the more aware I get of my body, and the more I connect to the feelings of spaciousness and stillness within me, the more I can clearly see that all of the emotions are not part of who I am – and simply by observing them I’m able to gradually start to let them go.
Reading this makes you question why would one hold onto emotions when it’s so painful to do so. It’s ironic that what stops us from letting our past hurts go is that we think they’re insurmountable and too big to deal with – that we’ll get lost in the emotion of it all. Yet holding on to this stuff causes far greater damage – especially when we don’t admit to ourselves that it’s there.
Wow, this, Rod, shows it all.. the future is in our hands – we have the will to change it. So what an incredible lesson this is and the best advice has been given:
The lesson for me was clear: don’t hold onto unresolved emotions in the body.
Let go and live.
Love the simple lesson here Rod, we must not play the game we have all become so engulfed by.
Rod, what a lovely gift to read your blog today. ‘Let go and live.’ … today I’ve been experimenting with this and I had a surprising day, and given that this was one I was dreading that is surprising, but when I consider my day at some stage I just let go, and I can feel that to do so is key; I can attempt to control but this does not do a thing and in fact seizes us up … if we let go and allow ourselves the grace and space to feel all that is there and address those hurts we find, we free ourselves to be more, our bodies let go and so do we.
I love this piece of writing- of how we can carry emotional baggage with us when it doesn’t support us and the impact that this has on the body. It can be a learning to let go and surrender- when we do there is much space that is then there to see things more clearly and enjoy life more.
It is gorgeous how when we are ready to see, life can offer us lessons in those around us to support us in our own choices and development. It is indeed deeply liberating and healing to let go of what holds us back, to be able to move forward unhindered through taking responsibility… and getting honest about the harm it otherwise causes to ourselves as well as those around us when we don’t.
Coming across your blog again today Rod was a great reminder to let go of any remaining painful family or past history with loved ones that doesn’t serve any of us to hang onto. Moving into a New Year free from old pain and baggage!
Yes, and there is so much grace, love and respect in affording everyone the space to make their choices
In connection with our bodies, as presented so well at Universal Medicine events, we can know what behaviours reflect that we are ‘holding on’ as Kevin relates and how our choices change as we let go. It is all there in our bodies as we go about living our daily lives to bring true purpose to life – how to let go back to our true loving nature. This was beautiful and touching and amazing to read Kevin, thank you.
It can be an uncomfortable, sometimes excruciating experience to face and own up to our unresolved hurts, but I agree Rod that when we do this it is so worth the freedom and true liberation that comes with being able to clear them from our bodies.
Understanding that I create my own reality is a huge lesson in responsibility. Why do I hold on to something and refuse to look at it another way? It is like I need to get something before I can let go.
With support from Simple-Living Global and Universal Medicine I have come to understand that in order to let go of something I need to let go of how I believe things should be. Trusting that I don’t need to understand and control everything is key.
It makes sense that when we carry something with us and not let it go that it influences us wherever we go and that it has an exponential effect on us and does not simply lay dormant and isolated.
Theres a very important message you’ve raised there Rod, that when we hold on to the past it affects us, often a lot more than we realise. When we can get really honest and allow what we have taken on to come up and clear then it enables us to live unencumbered with that issue and a lightness to be felt in the body.
“The lesson for me was clear: don’t hold onto unresolved emotions in the body. Let go and live.” Sound advice Rod. Although we may believe we have no baggage our body tells another story.
When I first attended Universal Medicine, I too thought I didn’t have baggage to let go of. But thinking I’m OK is part of the illusion that keeps us from letting go. The truth was I had (and still am) letting go of a lot of behaviours and hurts that are not me. And Universal Medicine keeps facilitating me to go there – to dig deep into my pockets and draw out what isn’t me. It is a breath of fresh air and allows me to not hold anyone to what they do because who they are is as equal to who I am. And it is only our choices that make us different.
I love that you observed and allowed yourself to learn.
Great sharing Rod, not one person on the planet can say they dont or havent had any issues. Beautiful examples of what happens when we do and when we dont address them.
“As I discarded my unresolved issues, it felt as if numerous anchors that had been holding me back were released.” When we try to bury our unresolved issues they fester and get bigger but when we let them go we wonder what all the fuss was about.
What a great lesson of life you give me trough this blog Rod. It is clearly a good thing to let go of our emotions and to not let them rule our life. But in reality we have to be aware we are ruled mostly by our emotions and that in some cases we need help to release the hold these emotions can have on us. That is the responsibility we have for our own life, that when we feel trapped in our natural expression that we question ourselves what is it that what so vibrantly lives within is suppressed by.
Thank you for sharing that crystal clear lesson Rod. I remember watching my father in his dying months sitting in his arm chair continuing his life-long devouring of, and hiding in, books and thinking to myself how strange it was to be continuing to load this body with this information that was, in a few weeks time, going to all be totally and utterly irrelevant (though I’d argue that it was already irrelevant!). And then when I saw his body minutes after he had died I could see and feel this empty shell, this kind of dumping ground where all the information was just sitting there, utterly defunct. It was like those sic-fi movies where they can’t crack in to the shut-down robot. He had a beautiful heart my father – it would have been even more enjoyed by himself and others if he had read less books!
I can relate to the pain that holding onto hurts brings and how explosive these hurts can be when they get too much… Both having done this myself and being on the end when others have lost it. Equally so however, I can also feel how some of us are super quiet and never seem to have angry outbursts and yet there can still be hurts buried deep within. So I love the reminder here that any hurt that stays in our body can keep us tense and stop us from truly living in joy. Let go and let live..
We imprison ourselves when we hold onto our hurts and forever we can stop the potential of every relationship with these unresolved issues.
I know I have been often blinded by the effect of my hurts that I think that dealing with them will bring them all up again, hurting even more, but dealing with them releases the hurt, even though it may feel uncomfortable. Holding onto them is the cause of our illness and disease.
Thank you Rod for sharing your very personal story, it is so harmful, and creates so much internal pain in our bodies to hold on to our hurts, this is not truly living, letting go of our hurts may be painful at first but this gives us the freedom to really start to live.
‘The lesson for me was clear: don’t hold onto unresolved emotions in the body’ for you will carry them beyond your last breath.
I sometimes hear people say that they don’t want to talk about things, even with someone they say they trust, because they fear they will have a complete breakdown if they start to speak of whatever is bottled up inside of them. They fear the overwhelm and are scared that they won’t be able to put things back into some sort of working order if they allow themselves to let their defences down and really speak about what’s bottled up inside. Yet as your blog shows Rod, this type of behaviour taints the rest of their lives, including all their relationships. It definitely damages us in every way when we try and keep things tightly locked inside of us because we fear the consequences of opening up and dealing with whatever is going on.
Very simply, we need to express… We need to give voice to the things that are happening within us, otherwise the body turns into a pressure cooker and the intensity just keeps building until it just gives out. We are not meant to sustain this level of intensity, and one of the most powerful things we can do is start to express.
Your explanation of the release in your mother’s arms as she passed over makes you realise just how much energy we invest in holding ourselves back, in keeping that state of tightness for protection. A really great wake-up call of a blog, Rod. Thanks.
That’s so true Annie – often we think that our choices (including to deal with something or not) only involve and affect us, when we need to remember that our choices are never in isolation and will always impact another / others.
Rod, thank you for sharing your blog. ‘The lesson for me was clear: don’t hold onto unresolved emotions in the body.’ When we do hold those unresolved issues, they eventually come out as either an illness or disease, as our body tries to clear the damage we do to ourselves through not letting go.
Rod this blog is amazing as you have shared with such simplicity the harm of holding onto hurts when life is all about living and a great opportunity to let go!
Like you Rod I too have done the ‘when I do….when I get….when I…. ‘ of living in our imaginary created picture perfect future rather than the reality of now. Its like being on a treadmill and going nowhere for all your energy goes into the future and not the now. Whats more I seriously doubt we are the only ones who have got caught in living this caper also….
So true Annie and whats more the impact of how the unloving expression of our own hurts plays out on others only serves to either exacerbate their hurts or even create new hurts for them. It’s a vicious pattern that just festers and feeds itself and has no end until we all resolve and let go of all our hurts.
We hold onto our hurts, hurt ourselves and confirm to others that they should hold onto theirs or we create new ones for them to carry possibly for their whole lives. All to avoid our own hurt of separating from what we cannot separate from as who we truly are is around and within us constantly. A paradox one could rattle their brains with for ages (I know I’ve spent a fair amount of time going in circles with this) but ultimately as presented by Universal Medicine – its all to avoid an ‘Oops’ and the steps required to return to who we truly are – without hurts or emotions but pure love. I am learning to accept that no matter what has been chosen before we have available always the choice to let go and live
Thank you Rod for sharing this powerful lesson from the different passings of your parents and how your mother’s increasing physical rigidity reflected her emotional anguish. It has been such a relief to start letting go of my hurts with the loving support of Universal Medicine practitioners and I no longer have to feel guilty for the collateral damage from my former unexplained eruptions.
A very wise lesson…
It is amazing the force we have to hold on, even to the very last breath.
A beautiful yet simple and timely message Rod; lovingly clear any unresolved emotional issues and hurts before passing over.
Thank you for sharing your very personal and powerful experiences Rod.
Such a great example Rod of the difference between holding on and letting go. Thanks for sharing that with us.
The hurts we carry can affect our whole lives, to let them go and embrace the love we are transforms our lives in amazing ways. I am forever grateful to Serge Benhayon for addressing the importance of letting go of our hurts and showing us there is a different way to live and truly be in the world free of our hurts.
Thank you Rod for a great blog, if we only realised, that not dealing with our hurts, is so much more painful than dealing with them, we would soon give them up and learn to truly live from the love we are.
Yes we would Jill. I wholeheartedly believe this, yet find it difficult to put into practice, as I can justify why I can and should feel hurt from here to mars. However what I can feel in that is a need to hold on to feeling like a victim because that way I don’t have to be all that I am, which is most certainly not a victim but a strong but gentle independent woman with much to offer.
This is an amazing lesson, everything we hold onto affects us deeply and creates many of the unexpected behaviours that people have.
Sometimes, not so often as I did in the past, I can feel a stubbornness in me to hold on to a hurt. My body gets hard and rigid and my movements don’t hold the gentle quality they normally have. My mind gets stuck and tries to solve something by thinking and re thinking all of the time. It is such a delight to observe myself and step out of this tightness, light comes back in and a heavy load is falling off and it feels I am alive. Why On earth are we trying to hold on to our hurts, it is such a waste of energy.
Beautiful Rod. thank you. Live and let go. It is those hurts that prevent us from truly living our life, and living it in a way that is joyful, playful, light and with love. Through Universal Medicine I have learned the importance of healing your hurts, because if not, you just keep on living from your hurts and not from love.
one of the five main regrets that people express when they are about to die, is that they didn’t express themselves in their lives… Learning how to express ourselves while we can is such a great opening for us to start to heal, and a great boon for those around us.
Thanks for sharing your families story Rod and what a pivotal point to make, dont hold on to unresolved issues.
“not dealing with our hurts actually hurts much more than dealing with them” – if this was Facebook I would have clicked the ‘Like’ button Nicola, however it’s not, so I must say that your comment resonated with me…and particularly the wonderful consequences for us when we deal with our hurts.
‘unresolved emotions trapped in my body’ these are so harmful to us. Why are some emotions so hard to let go of? Why do we hold onto them, knowing they are causing us physical and emotional pain? Rod I to see this in a family member and they have so many trapped emotions in their body that it is physically crippling them.
Thank you Elizabeth. Your comment also brought tears to my eyes. I always felt my mother’s hurts and in fact the hurts of my whole family so deeply all my childhood it nearly killed me! So much unexpressed and built up suffering and I absorbed it on top of my own. Yes I have dealt with and freed myself of a huge amounts of hurts and taken on stuff. It is the only possible way – there is no avoiding dealing with our stuff, all we can do is delay in which case it will come again at some point. It is also so very worth dealing with our hurts because once tackled they are not such a big deal and the funny thing is that not dealing with our hurts actually hurts much more than dealing with them. Also of course the unimaginable glory and riches that await us once we deal with them and the love and healing that we can then offer others makes it an absolute no brainer!
Let go and live! Thank you Rod.
I can thoroughly relate to this ..”in fact I had buried my issues, particularly relating to self-esteem and my need for recognition. I also recognised behaviours I used to distract me from life.” This provides great food for pondering thoughts.
Living in the past or the future is such a drain on our energy, I know it only too well and yet I chose to ignore that my tiredness could be, in part, due to these pursuits. I still feel the tug of past and future and thoughts trying to lead me off away from “here and now’ and my being in my body and present in everything I do. There are always signs, like bumping into things, dropping things, forgetting things that will make me reconnect again if I haven’t already and for that I am truly grateful.
Rod thank you for sharing your experience with us all, a very powerful blog. When we hold on to our hurts, we hold back from being who we truly are, as we present a protected version of ourselves in order not to get hurt. From my own experience I have lived in a protected way, not allowing people in, until I came across Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, who showed me that there was another way of living.
Thank-you Rod for relating the different examples of your parents passing over and how great that you got the opportunity to understand how your mothers past had affected her for all her life. I feel the end of your blog is wonderful advice for all to heed. “Don’t hold onto unresolved emotions in the body. Let Go and Live”.
Well said Raegan – if we push those emotions back down when they come boiling up, or hide them behind other things so they cannot be ‘seen’ we just leave the issue there for another time, or worse that it will come out sideways as something different (and may look unrelated). Better to explore them, express them and let them go so we can live more of our lives.
Thanks for sharing this very personal and deeply thought provoking revelation Rod. I’ve seen this self same holding from one of my ageing parents while the other seems to be letting go of more and more and as a result is more content for just who they are. The opportunity to learn from our elders is priceless, and the blog shares that for all.
Thank you for sharing this deeply personal story Rod and what a valuable lesson on just how torturous pent up emotions can be.
What a powerful contrast you present here Rod. There’s a real grace in the way that you describe discarding these issues. Without solving or resolving it feels like you simply have decided to put them down. In carrying them no longer you clear the space in your body and life. An inspiring and a beautifully honest sharing.
Thank you Rod. Your story confirms the responsibility to deal with our issues. When your Mum had outbursts she was harming herself and others. If only she could have healed her past her present would be so different. The world would change overnight if we all resolved our issues.
Putting effort into living in an imaginary future of ‘when this happens I will be…’ completely distracts us from the reality and responsibility of our present life. As a bonus it also allows you to bury your unresolved hurts and issues and how these are being presented to you in your life daily lessons.
True Monika, you can get fooled by the outside mask people can put on, consciuos or unconsciously. But if you feel deeper you’ll see the consequences the body have to carry because of the hurt and its contraction.
Let go and live-Very beautiful said and a great example how different our bodies look and feel like when we let go of reactions and stored emotions or not. It is real poison in our body- sometimes I am not good in letting go of recent happened reactions and I know how destructive that is. The more I open up for love again the easier it is to let go.. Reactions keep us in the delay of being the love that we are!
I love your sharing: “The more I open up for love again the easier it is to let go.. Reactions keep us in the delay of being the love that we are!” Love is the perfect support and also replacement for letting go of hurts and reactions. After letting go there is more space in your body for love, because reactions and hurt kept that space filled.
I agree Brendan, It seems as if we are afraid that we say that something that has hurt us was ok, that we accept something we do not want to accept as we think we then say it is ok to hurt us. But in truth accepting is nothing more then saying it happened and holding on to a hurt and whatever protection, grudge, resentment or bitterness comes from it is possibly far more hurtful then the initial hurt we are protecting.
I am reading this with my very sore shoulder. What amazes me is that the more love I bring into the way I live, the more aware I seem to become of the pain and tension in the body and I feel ready to embrace it and let go. Mimicking a picture perfect life no longer works for me.
Thank you Fumiyo, as I read your comment I felt my shoulders and they were very tight. I didn’t even know I was holding them tight because I do it all the time, that it is a false normal for me. Even the smallest of tightness is a trapped emotion.
Thank you Rod, this is indeed a great sharing. Having cared for a loved one with dementia for ten years, and now currently working in a nursing home environment, I’ve have come in contact with many stiff, painful, heavy, restricted bodies and ‘frozen mindsets’, the direct results of clinging to hurts and carrying the burdens of life for so many years. Many have given up and live each day either checked out or sad and tired waiting to die. As you say, “The lesson for me was clear: don’t hold onto unresolved emotions in the body”……”Let go and live.”
What a great realisation to have Rod. When you can see your parents and understand them so lovingly there are many lessons to learn without reliving them.
This is powerful Rod. We are not taught how to process and deal with emotions in a way that is truly supportive and healing, yet burying seems to come as second nature to us. I wonder though, if we actually use more energy to retain and hold in all of that which is not us, than we would if we had the willingness to feel the uncomfortableness in the first place? As a human race, we seem to spend a life-time/s working awfully hard to NOT deal with our stuff. All I can say is, thank God for Universal Medicine ~ the courses, the modalities, the practitioners, the books and the teachings ~ because otherwise, I would still not know how to truly let go. And thank you to you too Rod, such a great read.
What a great lesson in ‘letting go’, thanks Rod.
Thank you Rod for sharing this deeply personal story that so clearly shows the effects of holding onto unresolved emotions in our body.
Thank you Rod for sharing the experiences of your self and your family. It is only through letting go of our hurts that we can truly know ourself and begin to live life fully.
‘Live and let go’ – very wise words Rod and a beautiful reminder for us all to heal the hurts we carry, let them go and to begin to deepen your relationship with yourself and others around you.
A nurse who worked in palliative care once wrote about people’s regrets as they were dying… She witnessed many people dying and she found that there were common themes to what people talked about. One of the five main regrets that people talked about was that they cannot express themselves in their lives. We all need to find the doorway to our own expression, and, however scary it may seem, to actually go through the doorway to start expressing, and in that expression to feel the healing that just starts to happen.
‘We all need to find the doorway to our own expression, and, however scary it may seem, to actually go through the doorway to start expressing, and in that expression to feel the healing that just starts to happen.’ Absolutely and thank you for your support cjames in finding my voice.
‘Let go and live’ – simple words, rich in content and meaning. There is so much wisdom to be gained through observation of ourselves, our bodies, of others and the world around us. Observation based on allowing, acceptance and appreciation. Thank you Rod for sharing your reflections of life as it happend around you. A truly healing gift.
Oh my goodness Rod, this article is straight from the heart and applicable for all humanity. The hurts we hold onto are crippling us from living a full life. Letting go is so liberating. I held onto a lot of childhood hurts, not wanting to feel or deal with them. Sometimes when I could not contain my emotions they would burst out, I knew I had to address it but did not know how. It was not till I felt the understanding of a Universal Medicine practitioner that I felt safe and let it go.
Thank you Rod for sharing this truly powerful lesson of how freeing it is when we address and let go of our hurts and heal that which keeps us held back from expressing all that we are, in our lives.
I love to re-visit this blog Rod for your powerful reminder to; Let go and Live for in the past I was some-one, who held onto my hurts…. Recently, I just let go of much saddness stored in my body over my relationship with my father (who has passed), and boy, do I feel a whole lot lighter….as our relationship was healed.
You are a very wonderful writer Rod, and I agree, holding onto unresolved emotions in the body can just be so toxic.. I know that I have walked around holding onto unresolved issues as well and it is only really recently that I’v been able to start ‘letting things go’ on a really deep level. It amazing how much we think we are ‘good’ yet to feel in later parts of our lives that ‘maybe we weren’t so good or so onto it’. Maybe this is how we can explain illness and disease in the body too? Stagnate ill emotions in the body trying to get out, hence forming tumours and cancers !
Being able to read what is going on behind the emotional trajectory that is often directed towards us is an important skill to develop. It supports one to not take things personally and therefore end up in reaction, blaming and hurt, and then no one is any the wiser.
I love how you look at and reflect upon things and come to these logical conclusions. It makes it so clear that holding on to things does not do us any good as we carry them around us and with each step the burden becomes more ingrained into our bodies. So thank you Rod, I will be even more aware of not holding onto things that simply don’t belong.
Yes Ingrid, that weight you refer can became frustration and aggression in some people as they get older. I observed this in someone dear to me, frustration and aggression was the same way she had been treated as a child. She appeared to overcome this throughout her life but it was never healed, so the imprint of the abuse was still there. As her behavioural filter diminished with the dementia, the underlying hurt was expressed. It appeared so out of character. I could see that her body was finally letting go to expose the undealt with layers.
So good to read this Rod. It’s amazing how clearly our emotions can be seen when looking at our bodies. It’s a great reminder to indeed ‘let go and live’.
Thank you Rod for this beautiful and honest sharing. It makes me realize even more how every emotion that has not been dealt with, stays in the body. We can hide them and pretend they are not there, but they remain there, until we deal with them. Through Universal Medicine I have experienced and know now that only through the esoteric modalities, we can actually heal our emotions, let go and live in a true and loving way.
Thank you Rod for sharing what emotional issues can look like by holding on to them for a lifetime. I like your idea ‘Let go and Live’.
Reading your blog Rob, helped me to realise how I am expert at spending time in the future, often at the expense of the present moment. One of my favourite phrases is, I will get around to doing so and so, when I have more time. Really, there is no time like the present!
Elizabeth, I agree that the future is not a good place to hang out. I often dwelled in the future fantasising over outcomes or expectations or using the terms, “When I…” or “One day I’ll…”
It reminds me of the time I once said, “I’ll start an exercise program when I’ve lost weight.”
And when it comes to healing and clearing debilitating tensions in our bodies, as you say, “Really, there is no time like the present!”
Yes I agree rodharvey the “I am going to if’s” I know very well and I found that the only place where you can truly make changes to your life (and this continues in your future) is the present.
What an awesome message Rod, I love that you have shared your first hand experience of the difference between holding onto hurts and healing hurts, this would make a huge difference to quality of life… it’s no wonder you say, ‘Let go and live’ instead of ‘hold on and survive.’
arieljoymuntelwit, ‘hold on and survive’ sounds like an appropriate slogan for the way many people live their lives.
Thank you Rod for sharing this amazing lesson of the importance of letting go of our hurts.
Rod,
Thank you for writting this blog. It is much appreciated and such a great true living example of the importance of letting go and living.
The lesson for me was clear: don’t hold onto unresolved emotions in the body. I know this lesson only to well…. I feel it is also a powerful message for everyone. Thanky you for sharing this Rod.
‘Don’t hold onto unresolved emotions in the body’ Thank you Rod,for this sharing of the importance of dealing with unresolved emotions.
It is so true about the self help books, sometimes it is possible to think that we are ‘dealing with our stuff’ because we have read about it in a book. When the in fact, there can be much deeper levels to explore and resolve.
Such a powerful blog to re-read again and such a clear and stark example of the pain we choose to carry around with us if we don’t deal with our emotional hurts from the past.
Rod thank you for sharing your observation and experience of what happens when we don’t take the opportunity to let go over our lifetime. I find this deeply inspiring and will remember this in those times when I’m struggling to let go of something.
I could feel you on your journey of re-discovery and letting go of old patterns of behaviour that held you back. You also share beautifully with us how much family can help us too – from us observing them in their patterns of behaviour without criticism or judgement. Thank you Rod.
This blog is really beautiful Rod. Your loving and simple way to narrate that reflect a tremendous deepness and spaciousness. Thank you for sharing them. Great advise, by the way!
Thanks Rod, this is a really good reminder to let go and not hold onto our stuff – it serves everyone. However it is surprising and somehow ridiculous how much we can stubbornly hold onto things and not let go at times. It shows how big our investment is into all our creations.
So true Judith I know I have stubbornly held onto parts of me that were not true at all but it was only when I was honest about my investment in appearing a certain way that I was released from the need to hold onto this false protection.
An amazing reflection Rod, indeed very clear that holding onto emotions doesn’t work and better to deal with them at the moment they occur.
I like the thought of floating through the days not feeling weighed down by any unresolved issues. The fact that you took stock Rod and actually accepted that some things needed to change and hence got in and did some work with yourself is very inspiring.
What wisdom you share here Rod “The lesson for me was clear: don’t hold onto unresolved emotions in the body.” Your account is a confirmation of what actually happens to our bodies when we hold onto our emotions and our pain. When we hold onto our hurts, we harm ourselves and our bodies clearly show us this.
Thank you for sharing this Rod. Let go and live is one of the most important things in my life and something that makes me feel very joyful inside.
Reading your blog is almost like a metaphor to me.. Let go and live. What a beautiful reflection on “how to better not keep things inside, thinking you’ve got to get along with it on your own”. Thank you for your sharing.
This is very beautiful and powerful. When the socially accepted “norm” was to bottle up your hurts, sadness, anger, etc., it must have been so tough for older generations. However, a lot of people still do this “bottling up” of emotions today and as written by Rod, people think they have dealt with (or resolved) the emotions, but often they were buried deeper unfortunately. Esoteric Healing makes (and helps) you realise and feel how much un-dealt emotions we still carry in our bodies and it, indeed, is liberating to let them go finally. Thank you very much Rod for writing this, I really enjoyed reading it.
It’s amazing how your mother’s body just relaxed when she passed over… so very indicative of the fact that it is our hurts and unresolved issues that we carry around with us that create the pain and the rigidity in our bodies. If we let this go, our bodies feel free and light.
Touching story Rod, and that through choice when we accept we can let go of the past or nostalgia which frees up space in the body to move, literally, and communicate… making way for that communication to be love and feelings, as opposed to the constriction of emotions or hurts.
Good point there Zofia with nostalgia. This is one that we are inclined to want to hold on to for a familiar ‘feel good’ feeling… yet it is a trap that keeps us stagnant and held to the past having a significant effect on the natural flow and ease in the body.
I am deeply touched by what you’ve written Rod. As I have become more aware of how I have and continue to hold emotions in my body, I can see how harming this is and how it essentially stops us from soaring. The more I let go of these held emotions, healing from within, the greater freedom I feel in my body. I am forever thankful for the truly loving support I have and continue to receive from Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and it’s many amazing practitioners who have opened my eyes to the fact we can and have always been capable of healing ourselves and it begins with living who we truly are in our fullness in the world and never holding back. Here’s to letting go and living!
Very beautiful blog about living the full you in every moment and not holding on to any hurts. Our body speaks very loudly and shows us what we are carrying around.
Our body does not let up, ever. Whilst we are still breathing, our body never lies. I love that it is so with us, every single step of the way, constantly reflecting with an ever present consistency to showing us the truth about how we are living. Remarkable!
Wow Rod. Thank you for sharing about you and your family. What a clear and powerful story with a great point. I can relate to the living in the future- thinking about all the things I would like to do ‘if’ an ‘when’ but don’t at that time.
Yea true Aimee. I had the experience of this the other day and my whole body relaxed and pretty much said thank you when I just focused on the present, my body and what was going on around me.
This is such a pertinent blog for me to read today. I know it’s no coincidence that I felt to come here. It’s beautiful to read your writing Rod. I loved the way you described emotions as anchors, or dead weights. Today has shown me I have some more anchors to let go of. It’s grand and inspiring to see you and your ship sail swift, free and true.
Fabulous sharing Rod, thank you. What a beautiful illustration of how we can hold past anger and hurts in our bodies. I do hope I don’t wait until my last breath before I have let go of all of mine! A waste of a beautiful life if that was the case!
Thanks so much for that blog. Just give yourself time to feel and heal !
Rod, you write with a huge tenderness and understanding on the life and passing of your father and mother, and of the turmoil that will hold our bodies tight and in a lot of suffering when we hold on to hurts from the past. To let go of past hurts, the key is to have the willingness to do so, and to feel what is there to be felt and to simply let go. It’s such a tender process and when we allow it, our soul is right there with us with all the support we will need, and we rediscover the gorgeousness we truly are.
Thank you Katerina…I love the way you comment. You have expressed so simply (yet profoundly) what true healing is all about and how to let go of our hurts.
I love how you say this Katerina too. The willingness and then it’s simple. Let go. We are all supported by our soul to return to love and truth.
Beautifully expressed katarina, indeed holding on to old hurts it is like a poison in our bodies and having the willingness to let go creates space to be more of who we are.
When reading your blog I have confirmed in myself there really is no reason to take another’s behaviours or actions personally as they are simply a result of unhealed hurts being held in their bodies.
Thank you for this moving blog Rod.
It is so obvious how our bodies are a reflection of our lives, yet only a minority of people are willing to consider that the symptoms and illnesses that make their bodies suffer are a result of how they have lived up to now. Taking responsibility and looking at our choices may sometimes not seem an easy thing to do, but it is the deepest form of healing I have encountered so far as it addresses the roots and not the superficial effects.
Amazing Blog! Thankyou for affirming that it is important that we need to deal with these unresolved emotional issues.
Well said Amina – Serge Benhayon does just that – he allows us to see what we are holding onto, and then make a choice to let go and live. That is medicine and healing at its very core.
I just melted reading this. Your words are just pure love Rod. Thank you.
We may see huge world events like war on a grand scale and feel that these are things that are beyond the comprehension of most of us, however, many people are fighting huge emotional battles within that are every bit as painful and destructive as war.
Very powerful Rod. We can carry these emotions for our entire lives. An event that happened becomes part of us and we identify with it. Through the letting go, it goes back to being just an event.
A powerful and clear message, Rod thank you.
Thank you Rod for a great example of the effect holding onto unresolved emotions can have on the body.
Thanks for sharing Rod. Your story really goes to show the power of opening up and expressing our hurts. As a counsellor I have found this very act, along with self honesty to be healing in itself, it makes no sense to hold on to what hurts us until the day we die.
Letting go can sound easier than it is. We often struggle with past events, holding onto the things that hurt us deeply because we have falsely identified them as a part of who we are. I have done this too and I used my hurts to hold the world ransom and hold back from expressing and sharing all the love that I can muster. In recent times I have been chipping away at this and the more I allow myself to feel these hurts, heal them and truly let them go, I can feel more of the true me – the part that celebrates being me just by breathing.
A fantastic and very practical example of the effects of holding onto things, how they effect us continually if we do not deal with them, and also how worth while it is, even though it can be uncomfortable initially, to let go.
Superb piece of advice Rod, ‘Live and let go’. Thanks for sharing with us, I am finding these blogs such a great learning experience.
As you say, Rod, often we can be carrying hurts in our bodies without realising it, because we have settled for a lesser version of ourselves and lost touch with how amazing we are inside. I deeply appreciate the love and reflection of my family, for continually reminding me of who I truly am.
To come to an understanding of ourselves by seeing how we have reacted to situations and put up barriers so we don’t have to feel our hurts is the first step in then being able to deal with our issues and let them go. Thank-you Rod for this article.
That is a beautiful story Rod and a lesson we all have to learn.
‘The lesson for me was clear: don’t hold onto unresolved emotions in the body.
Let go and live’ Thank you Rod, for this simple and honest sharing!
Wow, what a powerful and clear message indeed, Rod. I loved feeling your compassion and the willingness you had to understand your parents’ emotional worlds. It makes me ponder deeply into my own family’s world. It’s true….no one’s angry outbursts come from nowhere, and the pain is felt by all. How lovely to learn, through your own experiences, that letting go is what enables living.
Thank you, Rod. To let go of any identification with hurts from the past gives our bodies a chance to heal once and for all, so we can move on and start building a life that is full of us in our glorious essence.
Thank you Rod for sharing so graphically the consequence of holding onto unresolved emotions in the body.
I love the simplicity of this, to let go, and live, and more importantly how much it impacts us when we don’t. Our bodies do reflect how we live.
Awesome blog Rod, with so much in it and I loved how open and honest it felt. Thank you for sharing your important lesson, as it feels it is for everyone: ‘don’t hold onto unresolved emotions in the body, live and let go’.
Rod, we can learn so much from eachother’s blogs and mould ourselves into becoming a better person in life.
Well said Mike. These articles I am finding not only help to be ‘better’ but also to actually resolve issues, some of which I had not been aware of until being brought to my awareness by the blog.
Thank you for writing this article, Rod. I thought by keeping my problems buried where no one could see them I was fine but I always knew they were there and this caused a tension and hardness in my body as I ignored the herd of elephants in my mind. Learning to shed some light on each issue, I found that many were actually very trivial and had just festered and grown out of all proportion in my head. Letting go has been like gently letting the air out of an over-blown balloon.
Mary, I like your analogy: ‘Letting go has been like gently letting the air out of an over-blown balloon’. I’m pleased to see you used the word ‘gently’ – I’ve noticed strange noises emanating from balloons that are deflated quickly.
Powerful blog Rod and great story re your parents. From my experience I would say that all our current daily choices are all constantly influenced by our past unresolved hurts. I too thought I had minimal issues before I started digging a little deeper and realised that I was a master of coping and covering up. Honesty and a willingness to go there is so important.
Just reading this story Rod is enough to inspire me to not hold back my love in any way. It’s amazing what a direct link there is between our thoughts, emotions and our physical body’s function and well- being, as evidenced by the description of your mum’s contracted body.
Wow, that’s fantastic Michael. We can learn so much from each others experiences. It’s inspiring to see the wonderful affect that these blogs are having on people’s lives.
An amazing lesson to see first hand. Certainly it speaks volumes of the opportunity we have to not hold grudges, attachments or investments. And that in holding all these things we can seek sympathy in others and a hardness in ourselves.
Ron. I can relate to your blog. It was always some other persons problem not mine.
I always thought I was perfect. Boy did I get a wake up call, and find out how blinkered I really was. I have learnt so much from Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon, and the students of The Way of The Livingness.
Really powerful stuff, Rod! I can’t help thinking how much the ‘War generation’
would have benefited from Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon.
Their ingrained reticence to discuss personal feelings or problems, illustrated by
expressions like, ” Oh, just grin and bear it” and “Worse things happen at sea”,
is well documented. When the Duke of Wellington described the Battle of Waterloo,
as “A close-run thing”, the scene seemed to be set for laconic statements of heroism
for generations to come.
The image of your mother, “frozen arms across the chest” speaks volumes about
how much was locked-in there, even upon death.
Thank you Rod, I really love the connection you have described so well between tension in our bodies and held on to emotions.
Nice one Rod this is a wonderful worth while read. I was very similar, as in living in the future and blowing off steam at the pub and thinking at the time I had life sorted. Looking at and taking responsibility for ones own issues is the way forward. Thanks you gentle-man.
I love the simplicity of this article Rod, thank you for sharing your personal story. Your last line…….’Let go and live’……is beautiful.
Thank you Rod. Yes the freedom felt in the body when we let go is exquisite. I always feel like I’ve had a shower from the inside out when I let go of a hurt I have been holding onto. It also helps build better relationships with others as I’ve found we are then free to interact freshly, without the previous hurts dictating how we will be in our relationships.
Shevon, I like your analogy of the ‘inside our shower’ that washes our hurts away. And that’s a great point you make about how our relationships improve as we discard our hurts. So if we’re having a bad relationship with another and we want to know why, then where is the first place to look?
Yes Shevon, It builds better relationships, in fact it is looking like issues are the ONLY thing in the way of love and respect for one and all.
I have recently felt renewed closeness with my partner when I let go and the barriers I held from past hurts melted…I was so surprised because I was sure HE was the one holding us apart but alas, It was me!
I like your comment Jo. I have recently found that when I change and let down my guard, it changes how others relate to me. My relationships with family friends and work colleagues have become much more open and loving as a result of me letting go of old hurts.
Beautiful sharing Rod. I can certainly relate to that lighter feeling when I let go of things and express what I am feeling. That light feeling is something I want more of, so it makes common sense to express as much as possible as your story so ably showed.
I like your comment Stephen ‘That light feeling is something I want more of’.
I feel that when we choose to open up to those feelings it is like stepping onto a bridge that connects us to an amazing potential waiting to help us to evolve further.
Absolutely Rod, and what I have found though its a work in progress, is that expressing what is there to be said can seem scary, but when done is something we rarely if ever regret. And often will be of great benefit to those we share it with too. Furthermore, when others share something they wish to express with me, I am often humbled by their choice to share what they have been feeling and the confidence they have given.
Dear Rod, I enjoy reading your blogs very much because they are so honest and personal yet absolutely universal. The lesson you have shared here is priceless, and allows me to appreciate even more the relentless love of Serge Benhayon and the Universal Medicine practitioners who keep showing us how amazing we can be when we let go of past hurts.
Thank you Janet. As someone who didn’t consider they had any hurts, my introduction to Serge and Universal Medicine many years ago helped me to realise how wrong I had been. As you expressed so delightfully, ‘relentless love’ made the difference.
Serge Benhayon’s love is indeed relentless and I have learned so much from him and other practitioners in how to really let go of hurts that had been held in my body for a very long time…and I continue to do so with an enormous amount of support around me.
A very simple but profound message Rod. Thanks you for this beautiful blog about letting go.
I am so grateful to Universal Medicine for truly bringing me to the realisation that hurts do not disappear. As much as I have tried to bury what I don’t want to feel or look at. Through developing Awareness and connection to my body I can now feel these and the harm they cause. This awareness is a huge step in true healing. This and the many truths presented by Serge Benhayon are a beautiful gift to humanity.
Thank you for the intimate sharing. Sometimes I am so stubborn I struggle to let go, but the tension that I feel in my body is so uncomfortable that I just have to. Holding a grudge about something or someone is harming my body. So I just remind myself by asking is that how I want to be? When I do let go my body melts and I feel gorgeous.
And your comment is gorgeous Laura
Agreed Rod, gorgeous, and Laura’s comment so beautifully affirmed what you had written about, that it all come down to the body. Me, up here in my mind may not want to have to face some of the hurt, and would rather avoid it, but my body, does it want that tension and deceit, that holding back and locking down, that rigidity? I am sure not, if it were given a true choice.
What a power-full blog and a timely read for myself. Recently I have become more aware of just how much I still hold onto ills in my body. However at the same time I have become more aware of the love that is within me that does not need to hold on to the past. Those hurts happened years ago and if I continue to allow them they affect my today, but I have the choice to give focus to my hurts or my love and as you wrote ”Let Go and Live”
Well said Rod, It is amazing how much we can hold onto in our bodies. As you said by starting to see it and letting it go frees the body up. I see it a little bit like all those unexpressed words or emotions have to go somewhere, we bury some so deep we ‘forget’ they are there so when they come up they may not be pretty, but nothing in comparison to the love that we naturally are. Before meeting Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine I held onto lots of things and did not express heaps, but slowly over the years I have started expressing more fully exactly what I feel to say, and have let go of lots of things from the past which I have been carrying. Some of which I was ashamed of and so hurt I never wanted to share with anyone, others where they seemed a part of life but in accepting them as a part of life, it meant accepting less than love. By building my body with more and more love, anything which is not love has to come up, be exposed and let go of. It is amazing – we just have to let love be our guide and know that no matter what, we will always have the love we naturally are and come from within.
That’s awesome James how you, with the support of Universal Medicine, discarded so much of what could harm you. I love your inspirational last two sentences…very healing.
Thank you Rod, I love how our stories can inspire each other to be more loving with ourselves and with others.
So clearly written Rod, it’s amazing when we take the time or are given the opportunity, to learn about another’s past so that we can learn to truly understand why they behave as they do. And from our livingness and our own commitment to self, show them that they have the strength within to heal these issues for themselves.
You make a good point Jenny about understanding others. It reminds me of a quote I saw a while back along the lines of ‘If they tell me their story I cannot help but feel love for them’.
A great sharing Rod.
Thank you Judith. I feel fortunate that my parents sent me a lesson when they passed over and for that (and for many other things they did for me in my life) I am forever grateful.
Thanks Alan, I’ve found that the experiences of others (including yourself) provide us with so many lessons if we are open to receive them. That’s one of the reasons that I enjoy these blogs so much.
There’s a saying “to take your secrets to the grave”, however what you’ve experienced shows people take their sadness, amongst many other emotions, to the grave from what you have shared about your parents’ passing, Rod. “My father died peacefully. He had reconciled his past, forgiven his enemy and moved on. Yet my mother had not cleared her emotional anguish and her body reflected that, right up until the moment when she passed over.” Seems holding onto unresolved emotions in the body makes both life and the time of passing so much more difficult for the person as well as those around them.
Thank you Rod for sharing your personal story – I can relate to it. My father fought in a war, in Italy. He never spoke about his experience to anyone. I found out his father was an alcoholic, and gambled, and was abusive towards his mother, and most probably him too. In his early teens my dad had to work to put food on the table. In his 20’s he worked in the Belgium mines, and sent money home to his mother. It is clear to me now, growing up with my dad, that he had unresolved issues. He would come home from work, and relieve his tension with alcohol. He often had outbursts of anger towards my mother, and myself or siblings, for no good reason. However, he was a gentle man by nature. It was only on his death bed (2 yrs ago) that I truly felt his essence, as I let go of my guard and let him in. I finally let go of my unresolved childhood issues, which I held him ransom to, and played out the victim. Although I was not present when he died, I know he passed over peacefully. I can now “Let go and Live”.
By seeing what was behind your father’s issues, you too were able to let go… and that is beautiful Loretta.
Awesome article. I can so relate Rod. It is so easy to be arrogant and ignorant about our behaviours and our ways of life… sometimes more so than it is to be honest to actually admit what is really going on in our lives. Being honest is so important and is actually the first step to make to healing what is going on… life seemingly becomes so much clearer and lighter after that (and so too does the body.. something we often forget!).
I agree Josh – getting to honesty about ourselves is HUGE (particularly for men). And as you say, once we get over that initial hurdle, life can unravel for us in many wonderful ways.
This is awesome Rod. Thank you so much for sharing so openly about your parents. What an amazing realisation your mother has presented for us all. Great the way you have described the rigidity in her body from holding on so tightly. As you say Rod, “let go and live” – an awesome way to be with life.
Thank you Beverly. There is much my parents taught me – and my mother had to wait quite a while until she presented a incredibly valuable lesson. In essence she was telling me (and others) to let go and live… a lesson which I am totally embracing.
Wow what a powerful blog! Rod, you present to us something that is like the ‘quiet captain’ in our bodies. Ruling our decisions, thoughts and actions, but for the most part staying invisible so we can convince ourselves all is fine. Thank you for so beautifully describing the way you have seen and approached it – bringing it out of the closet!
Thank you for your lovely comment Heather. Yes, it’s time to ‘out’ our issues!
That is powerful and beautiful in your full expression Rod. I was able to read that out load (to mum as well) and feel how amazing it is that we are able to reflect back on these things within our lives and get much healing from them. Like bringing all the pieces of a puzzle together. Thank you for being all that you are.
That’s awesome Tash that you could share these experiences with your mum and use them to reflect on your own lives. Brotherhood in action!
I love it Rod!
Clear now. Great message.
Beautifully said with such a personal sharing.
Thanks Johanna – this is a story I couldn’t hold within.
Wow Rod this is a power-full piece that clearly shows how our hurts stay with us in our body if we do not express them and resolve them. We can convince ourselves they are not there by ignoring them but they will create us much pain and turmoil if we do. I agree “let go and live”, it’s the only way to discover they beauty we hold within.
Thanks Toni… how strange are we humans when we ignore resolving our hurts because we fear facing up to them – at the expense of the damage that is being done to our bodies and our lives. And particularly when each step along the way to resolving and clearing our ‘stuff’ is so gloriously liberating.
Beautiful blog Rod! Thank you. I can relate to how your mum felt, all tight and rigid in her body, because in the past, and even to this day, I can feel areas in my body that are tight and hard because I have held onto old hurts and issues that I have not dealt with… Luckily I have had the opportunity to work through some of them, and it was never an easy choice because I had to feel and process that old sadness and anger that was literally crippling me. I am so glad that I have been able to do this at a young age so that I can enjoy my life without that hard layer of armour to guard my issues.
What’s fantastic Rosie is that you made the commitment and had the dedication to go through that ‘letting go’ process and even though difficult at times, you have dropped so much of what had been holding you back. Priceless!