by Rod Harvey, Marketing Manager, Gold Coast
Before my involvement with Universal Medicine, I had limited tolerance for people who blamed their past for emotional issues or problems in their lives. My attitude was “well, that’s the past, get over it and on with it, and here’s a personal development book to fix it”. After all, I had my life sorted… so I thought.
Outwardly, I was confident, yet there I was, striving at various sports to prove I was good enough; putting ridiculous hours into work to show I was worthwhile; struggling for years to find my purpose in life and getting drunk at the pub to relieve tension.
No, “I didn’t have any issues”.
After attending various presentations by Serge Benhayon, I realised that I didn’t really ‘have it together’ as I’d thought. I’d been faking it. In fact I had buried my issues, particularly relating to self-esteem and my need for recognition. I also recognised behaviours I used to distract me from life.
One in particular was my predisposition to ‘live’ in the future. I spent much time in that imaginary world. Some of my favourite phrases were: “when I’ve got more money I’ll…” or “when I do this I’ll be able to do that” or “when I lose weight I’ll start exercising”.
When I realised that the unresolved emotions trapped in my body were indeed affecting me, I decided to do something about it. Gradually, I discarded much of what I held in my body with the support of Universal Medicine workshops and various practitioners.
There were some things I had to face up to that I wasn’t proud of and nerves were touched. However, by taking responsibility and being open and honest, I found the ‘letting go’ process to be liberating and healing.
As I discarded my unresolved issues, it felt as if numerous anchors that had been holding me back were released. Now I feel lighter and it’s much more enjoyable to float through my days.
However, it was the following personal family experience that really revealed to me what it means to let go…
My father served in three campaigns during World War II and afterwards held a strong bitterness against the Japanese, yet not so against the Italians or Germans. He never said why and we didn’t ask. We knew something lingered beneath the surface.
Our family didn’t buy Japanese cars or products for a long time. After about 20 years, Dad relented, and my parents bought a Japanese car and household items.
Dad had a very gentle nature. In his 40’s he gave up smoking and drinking and would often prepare his own healthy meals. My mother was very generous, particularly with food, money and herself. Yet there were sporadic times when she would get angry and shriek with rage – it was ear splitting and out of character.
Later in life she loved playing bingo and giving her friends presents and lifts in her (Japanese) Mazda. Yet, there were still those unexplained outbursts, often followed by tears.
As they moved into their mid 80’s I felt that Dad was ready to pass on, but held on for mum’s sake. Her health was deteriorating and she was losing balance and her anger bursts were becoming more regular. Dad was getting feebler and eventually both moved into a high care nursing home.
After 18 months, Dad died peacefully in his sleep. Mum was grief-stricken; after more than 60 years of marriage she had lost her rock. Her body deteriorated further and tightened up, with rigid frozen arms locked into her chest. Her ability to communicate with us became limited.
Around this time, through an elderly relative, I discovered that my mother was abandoned as an infant for a few months when she was sent to a foster home after her father died when her mother couldn’t cope; and again at the age of 14 she was sent to a foster home when her mother remarried and there were problems within a blended family.
This was a real surprise to us, as mum never talked about it. Instead she held it in for most of her life, with no counselling or sharing. That’s the way they did things. No wonder her release valve was the angry outbursts; it was her way of releasing her frustration and sadness. It explained much to us.
Eighteen months after dad died, mother followed. One of my sisters was present the moment she passed on and in that instant my mother’s rigid body immediately let go and all of her tightness vanished. She had held onto her hurts closely until her last breath. It was a relief for me to know that my lovely mother was liberated from the pain and turmoil of her trapped emotions.
My father died peacefully. He had reconciled his past, forgiven his enemy and moved on. Yet my mother had not cleared her emotional anguish and her body reflected that, right up until the moment when she passed over.
The lesson for me was clear: don’t hold onto unresolved emotions in the body.
Let go and live.
337 thoughts on “Let Go and Live”
Rod reading this reminds me of my parents too and how their upbringing has an affect not only on their bodies but their minds too, it is sad to observe.
Hanging onto resentment, hurts, anger etc is definitely not worth it. It’s far more painful than actually letting go of these things and being able to live from that point onwards, is more freeing than ever.
Death is an interesting subject and not received well by humanity in general. And we are far from really understanding and letting go of this and many other things we become attached to. But I can honestly say that since meeting Serge Benhayon, and Universal Medicine my acceptance and understanding of life, has a far reach than ever before. This statement summed it for me, ‘don’t hold onto unresolved emotions in the body’, it is simply not worth it.
Discarding hurts is one of our biggest challenges and yet greatest liberation.
Discarding appears to be a challenge but actually once we make the decision to do something about it, that’s the beginning of our healing. The other part is that we need to be willing to let go so then it doesn’t become our excuse to remain in that wallow either. That cycle needs to eventually end too at some point of our own cycles too.
We can be quick to judge another but the reality is that we have not walked in their shoes so the judgement just indicates a lack of understanding on our behalf, hence offers a moment for us to learn more about ourselves and another.
Rod, thank you for another powerful and honest sharing – a very poignant example of the choices we actually have in life when it comes to holding on to hurts or letting them go.
Great to hear of your example of not holding onto our hurts, ‘The lesson for me was clear: don’t hold onto unresolved emotions in the body.’
Fake it till you make it, actually never happens, so instead of let-go and Love as being Truly Loving becomes the foundation for our True purpose in life and we then take this different ball of wax into our next incarnation. So taking a Loving Purpose-full way of living till our last breath feels different to holding onto our bitter past experiences as your mother did Rod.
There’s this sense of familiarity we like to construct and identify with, and we often do that by holding onto things – as if we are not enough to begin with and we accumulate stuff and stories and we carry their weight throughout our life because they are our ‘lot’. How liberating is that to realise and accept that we were more than enough by nature and start letting go of what was never ours to hold in the first place.
It is not until we make space in our lives to feel the body that we start to be aware of the tension we feel as our ‘normal’ way of feeling. We then have an opportunity to feel what is below and then behind that tension to decide if we still want it in our bodies.
Those stop moment are magical as they open us up to allow the space to come to us, and seeing space is all around us the True feeling of a divine connection is impossible to miss.
And thus we instantly can make a choice to not go into the tension are feeling.
And thus we instantly can make a choice to not go into the tension we are feeling.
It’s such a profound difference the way your Mum and Dad passed over, it shows so clearly how self loving it is to be able to reach out and get help for ourselves, to resolve the hurts and traumas and be able to let go, to not only allow others the space to be where they are (to let go and let live), but to allow ourselves to live fully again also. Thank you Rod.
Well said Melinda. Though reaching out for help can be difficult for some of us to do as we might have low self worth, not want to burden another, etc. But in the end, as they say, it is not about doing things alone, but rather it is about all of us connecting as brothers and supporting each other to resolve and heal the hurts we might be holding onto.
We hold on to life, we hold on to emotion and it is all at the detriment of our body. It is only in meditation, the really simple yet deep connection with my body and my breath that I feel the body without that tension and holding on. Yet, once felt, it is something to bring into our daily movements and not wait for those ‘moments’ of reconnection.
Self-honesty is key for us to letting go of hurts and living with greater freedom. For in denying the fact that we are hurt we never will look to address them and instead avoid the truth of how we hold back and live a measured life through our hurts and protection.
Carola, I love how you have nominated that we live a measure life when we hold onto our hurts and protection. This is a life endured and not a life lived. An inspiration to keep chipping away at letting go and embracing more love in life.
Beautiful. It is so clear. Let go of the emotions. Let go and live. I deeply received the message, and I trust everyone too.
‘The lesson for me was clear: don’t hold onto unresolved emotions in the body.’ Spot on Rod, letting go of unresolved hurts in our bodies allows us the space to live with more freedom and lightness.
Holding onto unresolved emotions is disastrous in many ways, and affects the well-being of the person.
Our perception of ourselves is pretty much a reading based on our own reading of, and our standing on, life. It is endogenous to it. That is why, when we cease to buy a view of life and move accordingly, we can realize the extent to which what we may have thought it was it, was not really it.
“Let go and live” such wise words that I’m sure everyone can apply to their life. As a general rule we hold on to way too much, always slightly shadowed by the past, or by our mistakes, or our weaknesses and rarely entering this current moment unencumbered and free to give it everything.
This is so pertinent to all of us. What a very clear example of the very real truth that emotions held in our body, affect our body.
Holding onto our hurts and emotions is not wise, as they affect us in one way or another as shown in this blog.
This is very powerful blog and a subject that is worth talking about, holding onto our hurts doesn’t serve anyone, it hurts us further and diminishes the quality of life and amount of love we can experience in life. To be open to letting go of hurts is life changing as it allows the space for us to experience the grandness of love free of any protection or hurts.
When we don’t express ourselves, it’s like we freeze ourselves and get trapped in time. What we hold and bury in our body has a huge affect in the way we experience our life.
What a beautiful gem of wisdom you have shared here Fumiyo, and so precisely expressed, thank you.
We construct the jail where we live incarcerated by choice.
True, our life is completely the making of each and every choice we have made.
That ‘fake it until you make it’ saying has always for some reason irritated me – after reading your blog Rod I now realise it is because the very foundation of it is and always will be dodgy and fake and not a true foundation to build anything upon.
Faking does not allow for the acceptance of the beauty and grandness we all truly are.
I find it fascinating to read that when we die all the tension from our body disappears, it reminds me how the process of moving forward is a process of surrendering and letting go of what we don’t need, with this in mind then it simply makes no sense to carry it all with us now.
That is such a good point and one to perhaps be more aware of when we live as I am sure the surrender is the most wonderful feeling.
I love this Rod, how our bodies are always ready to let go but that we hold onto hurts that we have experienced as very painful at the time and had the feeling we could not deal with it. And then the times come we are able to surrender, in the case of your mum at the very end of her life, grace is there.
Very true Annelies – our bodies are our greatest guide to knowing how to live surrendered to what is true as such to live with true freedom.
That is true Annelies, it is actually natural for our bodies to let go.
Such a powerful sharing with so much gold in it and a powerful reminder to just ‘check in’, and observe if I am hanging onto anything that does not serve me.
“Let go and live” when we hold on to unexpressed hurts they create a constant tension within our body but when we let go of the emotions we are able to realise that the hurts are not who we are.
This is a continual practise, like breathing if we hold on to our breath there comes a time when we have to let go or we will explode and when we let go it comes out forcefully and can even hurt. When our breath is even and constant we do well and likewise as we accumulate feelings, possessions and the like it is great to be able to let go, as we go, that way we stay vital and unencumbered.
I hadn’t considered that we have to let go of our breath or we explode.
Elaine it makes so much sense the way you have used breath as an analogy for letting go.
Thank you Rod, reading your blog again today I felt much more deeply what you are sharing, the power we have to offer ourselves if we can let go. As you shared from your own experience it can take support to do so and support is indeed good to receive, however the letting go happens I can feel how vital it is for our wellbeing. I also appreciated your words at the end “The lesson for me was clear: don’t hold onto unresolved emotions in the body. Let go and live.”
It is very important for our well being, something that I also got from this article is how much a persons hidden pain affects another and how once knowing the background of such turmoil brings understanding and releases the tension from the bodies of those who witness it. This article has taught me to be very astutely aware of the importance to surrender and let go of old hurts, patterns and challenges.
It is through letting go of all that we are not, all that is not of love that we come to know what it is to truly and freely live all that we are. Our every moment offers us the opportunity to heal, grow and evolve.
It brings a beauty to letting go: letting go = being more love.
So beautiful Joel. Truly blessed to read this and learn from all that’s been shared. Being touched in my heart to see the healing that occurs, where passing over simply stand symbol for.
Let go and live.
This is such a beautiful story Rod and it makes it so very clear how important it is to not hold onto things or more so the consequences there are when we do. Thank you, it deepens my understanding that no personal experience I hold onto is too minor to share and lay open so it can be released from my body freeing myself from the burdens I believed I must carry.
Simple and beautiful Rod, thank you. Healing what’s there to be healed with full awareness is liberating, and allows us to fulfil our true potential instead of live a life of tension and struggle we don’t fully understand.
I too have felt the internal fight to make us feel worthy, good enough, all of the time using outward success as my goal. Through Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine I have learnt that through looking after ourselves first, we are able to live life through a higher quality, and letting go of our past hurts frees us to live a more natural life that isn’t always at the mercy of what happened before.
It’s a common theme to hold on because it is familiar and ‘easy’ to do. The best starting point for me has been to admit that I am holding on.
An awesome reminder to let go of our hurts, it is our responsibility to heal and let go of this energy, otherwise it will have an effect on ourselves and those around us.
Thank you for sharing Rod, yes it is so important to deal with our hurts and issues, and not to leave them buried, to heal them so we are able to live and let go.
Rod what a gift it was for you to observe what letting go looks like compared to holding on until the last breath. We can learn so much from others, even how they choose to die. It has made me ponder on what issues I may still be holding onto. Your blog has been an inspiration to look a bit deeper.
There are so many opportunities to learn from what is around us, be that human, animals or nature, there are reflections everywhere. What an opportunity Rod had to see the difference between the two ways of addressing the past.
Let go and live, what amazing words to build a life on. You can either hold onto a hurt or a problem and suffer every day until you pass over, or you can let it go and make life what it’s truly about.
Such a powerful blog Rod with a powerful message you deliver for all of us…. how many times have I held onto my hurts because that was all I knew. But since attending courses by Serge and Universal Medicine I have cleared and healed so much, and like yourself I feel tons lighter, and my body shape reflects this lightness that I now feel. Also when we let go we create more space in the body for love and grace to flow.
My parents deaths mirrored your parents passing Rod and both experiences were a great life lesson for me too, about holding on to issues and then pretending that they don’t exist. We can fool ourselves as much as we like, and get very accomplished at doing so, but sooner or later they will explode out of us just like a volcano when the pressure gets too high. If we were raised from young to share how we feel – honestly – and to know that it’s perfectly all right to ask for help we would have such a strong and steady foundation to support us when times get challenging, without a self destructive volcano in sight