Let Go and Live

by Rod Harvey, Marketing Manager, Gold Coast

Before my involvement with Universal Medicine, I had limited tolerance for people who blamed their past for emotional issues or problems in their lives. My attitude was “well, that’s the past, get over it and on with it, and here’s a personal development book to fix it”. After all, I had my life sorted… so I thought.

Outwardly, I was confident, yet there I was, striving at various sports to prove I was good enough; putting ridiculous hours into work to show I was worthwhile; struggling for years to find my purpose in life and getting drunk at the pub to relieve tension.

No, “I didn’t have any issues”.

After attending various presentations by Serge Benhayon, I realised that I didn’t really ‘have it together’ as I’d thought. I’d been faking it. In fact I had buried my issues, particularly relating to self-esteem and my need for recognition. I also recognised behaviours I used to distract me from life.

One in particular was my predisposition to ‘live’ in the future. I spent much time in that imaginary world. Some of my favourite phrases were: “when I’ve got more money I’ll…” or “when I do this I’ll be able to do that” or “when I lose weight I’ll start exercising”.

When I realised that the unresolved emotions trapped in my body were indeed affecting me, I decided to do something about it. Gradually, I discarded much of what I held in my body with the support of Universal Medicine workshops and various practitioners.

There were some things I had to face up to that I wasn’t proud of and nerves were touched. However, by taking responsibility and being open and honest, I found the ‘letting go’ process to be liberating and healing.

As I discarded my unresolved issues, it felt as if numerous anchors that had been holding me back were released. Now I feel lighter and it’s much more enjoyable to float through my days.

However, it was the following personal family experience that really revealed to me what it means to let go…

My father served in three campaigns during World War II and afterwards held a strong bitterness against the Japanese, yet not so against the Italians or Germans. He never said why and we didn’t ask. We knew something lingered beneath the surface.

Our family didn’t buy Japanese cars or products for a long time. After about 20 years, Dad relented, and my parents bought a Japanese car and household items.

Dad had a very gentle nature. In his 40’s he gave up smoking and drinking and would often prepare his own healthy meals. My mother was very generous, particularly with food, money and herself. Yet there were sporadic times when she would get angry and shriek with rage – it was ear splitting and out of character.

Later in life she loved playing bingo and giving her friends presents and lifts in her (Japanese) Mazda. Yet, there were still those unexplained outbursts, often followed by tears.

As they moved into their mid 80’s I felt that Dad was ready to pass on, but held on for mum’s sake. Her health was deteriorating and she was losing balance and her anger bursts were becoming more regular. Dad was getting feebler and eventually both moved into a high care nursing home.

After 18 months, Dad died peacefully in his sleep. Mum was grief-stricken; after more than 60 years of marriage she had lost her rock. Her body deteriorated further and tightened up, with rigid frozen arms locked into her chest. Her ability to communicate with us became limited.

Around this time, through an elderly relative, I discovered that my mother was abandoned as an infant for a few months when she was sent to a foster home after her father died when her mother couldn’t cope; and again at the age of 14 she was sent to a foster home when her mother remarried and there were problems within a blended family.

This was a real surprise to us, as mum never talked about it. Instead she held it in for most of her life, with no counselling or sharing. That’s the way they did things. No wonder her release valve was the angry outbursts; it was her way of releasing her frustration and sadness. It explained much to us.

Eighteen months after dad died, mother followed. One of my sisters was present the moment she passed on and in that instant my mother’s rigid body immediately let go and all of her tightness vanished. She had held onto her hurts closely until her last breath. It was a relief for me to know that my lovely mother was liberated from the pain and turmoil of her trapped emotions.

My father died peacefully. He had reconciled his past, forgiven his enemy and moved on. Yet my mother had not cleared her emotional anguish and her body reflected that, right up until the moment when she passed over.

The lesson for me was clear: don’t hold onto unresolved emotions in the body.

Let go and live.

278 thoughts on “Let Go and Live

  1. Many of us have witnessed generations who have held onto their pain, their hurts – not to be ‘talked about’, yet clearly impacting upon not only their lives, but the lives of those around them.
    I can’t help but wonder what it is to open the door to the possibility of discussing the past – it is of course for another to choose to do so or not, but there may indeed by times where we need not perpetuate the cycles of withholding and actually open the door to greater understanding, sharing of generational experiences and potentially, for healing to occur.
    Simply because we care.

    1. I agree Victoria. While there needs to be sensitivity and patience to provide the space to allow another to open up, the potential for healing is enormous. And with the extraordinary number of suicides we are now witnessing, that caring, nurturing space is urgently needed for the younger generation.

      How freeing it is to jettison burdens.

      1. Beautifully said Rod, and therein is another blog, article, and so much more to be said…
        For it is not only the older generations who may be silently holding their pain within, but people of any age, demographic, status… who are essentially not coping.
        What is our response to this, when we perceive something’s not right? Do we turn a blind eye, or do we offer the space for connection – without imposition, but rather, from an openness within ourselves…
        For if we turn the blind eye, we ourselves have closed down, and the deep sensitivity of another will know this to be so – potentially only fuelling the sense of isolation and rejection that he or she may feel.

  2. Rod, thank you for sharing your experiences and family life, there are many observations you have made which offer much wisdom. One thing you mentioned was the ways you distracted yourself from life, I hadn’t realised til reading that some of my behaviours are still in place to simply not feel what’s there to feel about life. We don’t realise what sensitive beings we are, and the behaviours are part of trying to manage how difficult life feels at times.

  3. Very true Rod, I can relate to having unresolved emotions in my body and how I got quite sick at one time from this. Learning to let go of emotions and not reacting to everything around me has been key to moving forward with more awareness, greater health and well-being.

  4. My parents deaths mirrored your parents passing Rod and both experiences were a great life lesson for me too, about holding on to issues and then pretending that they don’t exist. We can fool ourselves as much as we like, and get very accomplished at doing so, but sooner or later they will explode out of us just like a volcano when the pressure gets too high. If we were raised from young to share how we feel – honestly – and to know that it’s perfectly all right to ask for help we would have such a strong and steady foundation to support us when times get challenging, without a self destructive volcano in sight

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