by Rosie Bason, Mullumbimby, NSW
When I do things such as speak, sing or paint with a need to get it to be a certain way, with a push or a need to try, I actually make it less. It is less because at that moment I am not accepting myself or realising that I am already enough. For example, the sound when I try to sing comes out hard, yet when there is no push and no need to try, it comes out naturally beautiful.
What I am is enough! I don’t need to be more, or push, or need to try to be. In the past, I have never accepted myself to be enough. There has always been a strive to be more.
When I come from a place of self acceptance, what comes from me is beautiful because it has me as part of it.
However, when I come from the drive to make it a certain way, to sound good, to look good, to be seen… all of the expectation causes an awful feeling in my body.
In society it is often about being better, bolder, bigger; we don’t seem to stop to appreciate how we are already enough, just as we are. We are all divine in our own special way.
When I try to be more than who I am, the world does not get to feel me just the way I am. When I accept myself and when there is no need to try, the world gets to feel all of me.
I have come to this realisation after attending talks by Serge Benhayon and workshops by Chris James.
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
I understand this push and drive so well and I’m sure others do too. It’s a thing that displaces us, and in that we become exhausted with many disappointments that follow it.
I loved this statement, ‘when I accept myself and when there is no need to try, the world goes to feel all of me’ and how true is this. It also gives them the permission to be themselves too, just by your mere reflection. Some will be inspired, some not so and that’s okay too. Everyone has the opportunity to be themselves, it’s a matter of letting go of that which identifies us with too. Are you ready to accept who you truly are?…
“However, when I come from the drive to make it a certain way, to sound good, to look good, to be seen… all of the expectation causes an awful feeling in my body.’ Wow, I’ve really been living this through the week preparing for a presentation. I hadn’t quite seen it how you’ve described here but that’s exactly it. Thank you Rosie, a short blog but total gold, much appreciated.
I totally understand this feeling Melinda when I presented to some of my work colleagues. Pushing to do more or trying to get it right put me in a tiss. Soon as I let go of it needing to be a certain way, well there was no apprehension, no tension, it came out in a flow. Once the presentation was delivered, I wasn’t left with feeling I used to have in the past, such as ‘should have said this’ or ‘should have said that’. It felt there was no more to be said and it was complete, what needed to be presented was presented, no more or no less.
“the sound when I try to sing comes out hard, yet when there is no push and no need to try, it comes out naturally beautiful.” Thank you Rosie, perfect timing to read this today, a beautiful reminder of the simplicity of being ourselves and knowing that is enough, and letting go of the need to try or be something other than ourselves. I can see where I do that I’m lacking appreciation of myself and negating who I am.
Rosie so glad I read your blog as it has supported me to realise that actually I am far more self accepting than I ever used to be. I recognised myself in what you wrote
‘When I come from a place of self acceptance, what comes from me is beautiful because it has me as part of it.’
When I give myself permission to just be me it feels as though the sun is shining in and through my body. And when I shut myself down for whatever reason then the sun has gone and the grey cloud sits above my head. I live surrounded by people who have the sun shining through them in this way humanity as a whole has a huge reflection that we can all live this way too.
“When I accept myself and when there is no need to try, the world gets to feel all of me.” – Do you want to present the true you to the world or play a game and present a facade? This is a very exposing question that gets one to ponder deeply on how we live and all we are trying hard to ‘do’.
In life there are so many expectations placed upon us – from the expectations of a baby needing to sit or walk or be a certain weight by a certain age, expectations for a child to read or sit still, expectations of a teenager to be a certain way, expectations of adults achieving certain things etc etc. We have our own personal expectations we have taken on board, our families have certain expectations of us and society has expectations placed upon us. No wonder some people rebel or give up and withdraw – for how can anyone comply with all the expectations when it is impossible to do so? Rosie’s blog is a great way to realise that expectations are impositions and it is not for us to take these on board, however, what is our responsibility is to live all that we are and not hold back – something which is certainly a challenge in our world where this is not encouraged nor celebrated.
“There has always been a strive to be more.” – this is such a common theme in our society and something that is encouraged in schools and homes and all accross the world. Very rarely if ever are we told we are already enough and that the things we do are just a means to express the all that we are.
“When I come from a place of self acceptance, what comes from me is beautiful because it has me as part of it.” It’s so simple isn’t it, just be yourself. Acceptance is not that commonly talked about but it is such an important part of having a supportive foundation in life by accepting ourselves and others. At times we also have to accept life as it is which can help us to reach understanding, even though what we are seeing or experiencing is not loving or harmonious.
Drive gives a clue to our state of being and over-drive I am definitely over, and being in drive becomes like being in automatic rather than being focused on what ever we are doing, which is being consciously present so we stay with our essence eliminating drive and trying. This is because in our essence we feel the connection to being ‘divine in our own special way.’
Thank you Rosie, it’s such a supportive blog, a topic that touches all of us. I can really relate to this line “all of the expectation causes an awful feeling in my body.” We are so rarely confirmed in life that we have no idea of the wealth inside in the person that we are.
“What I am is enough! I don’t need to be more, or push, or need to try to be. In the past, I have never accepted myself to be enough. There has always been a strive to be more.” This is such a great blog and a very relevant topic. Pushing or striving to be more, and trying, are so common we may not even realise they are there, they become a normal part of life instead of being in self acceptance and enjoying and appreciating who we are.
This is so common, this feeling of not being enough, and pushing ourselves to be more, instead of accepting we are already everything, ‘When I try to be more than who I am, the world does not get to feel me just the way I am. When I accept myself and when there is no need to try, the world gets to feel all of me.’
‘What I am is enough! I don’t need to be more, or push, or need to try to be.” This is a very powerful place to come to in life, for what can knock or reduce you if we know who we are is enough?
When we try to be something that we are not, how do we know what that looks like for us to even try? And it is interesting how we even know how to define what the ‘better’ looks like. And we often have not even given ourselves a proper chance to feel and know how stupendously amazing we really are already, just as everyone else is.
What does it mean to accept ourselves? I have a feeling that this word is thrown around so much that the truth of it is lost.
I have been in the presence of people who have accepted themselves for the grandness they are and to me there is a quality of humbleness a deep stillness and contentment in their bodies that is so real and feels so easily obtainable that I naturally want that for myself too.
I can understand that self acceptance can be a struggle especially when we have lived so far away from ourselves, we have lost all recollection of who we truly are and the purpose of why we are here.
It’s only a struggle if we have lived in disconnection, because when we have that solid, tangible connection, self-acceptance is not even a question.
So True Mary, and may I add that it is only when understand or re-connect to our inner-most or esoteric that we start to glimpse the Truth of ‘who we truly are!
At a presentation on the weekend, someone talked about having a life long love affair with yourself and I really liked that. Accepting that you are more than enough just simply being yourself and living and loving that.
How amazing does that sound?! And it doesn’t sound difficult at all. Yet, we have created lives and societies which make that sound like a dream of the future.
Just being who we innately are, loving and living this, ‘ we don’t seem to stop to appreciate how we are already enough, just as we are. We are all divine in our own special way.’
I had spent my whole life trying and it doesn’t get the required results. Accepting ourselves and where we are at allows for a deeper unfolding. No trying required. Beautiful post Rosie.
I felt myself going into trying yesterday and it felt a bit yuck in my body, I felt like I was not me and I was trying to be something else. You are right Rosie, these transactions are reduced by trying because I am reducing me to try and be something/someone other than who I truly am.
Thank you Sarah – ‘trying’ certainly is something that knots us up and takes us away from our natural expression and natural ease and joy of doing things.
When we “try” and do something we take ourselves out of a natural rhythm and this brings a strain.
We are not taught or honoured to be just who we are, this gets crushed in many of us as a child. I find it especially difficult watching how we as a society crush our children by not appreciating that they are complete just as they are. They don’t need to try to be bigger, better, more forward, more intelligent, they are so very beautiful just as they are.
The education system currently is so divisive, getting young children to compete against each other. As you observe Mary, it is sad to watch the crushing of young ones.
Acceptance and appreciation for ourselves is great medicine, thank you Rosie.
It’s the same with anything – if there’s any part of us that is trying to get it right, be it a conversation with a friend, writing an essay or cooking a meal, there’s instantly a pressure that we put onto and in the situation that doesn’t need to be there at all – and then it becomes much more likely that things won’t go according to plan, because of this extra measure of control which stifles the natural flow and potential for expansion of whatever it is that we’re doing.
Very few learn this or are reminded of this when they’re young, “we are already enough, just as we are”. If we did, there wouldn’t be the emptiness from trying and believing we need to be better or be fixed. There would also not be the comparison and competition because if we knew we were enough as we are then we would know that everyone else are also.
This Rosie I have felt for myself to be true when I let go of the drive to achieve or have an outcome, something magical happens and there is so much more space to play in and with it is quite beautiful. I have also discovered that to try and hold on to the magic stops the flow and that is for me the key to stay in the flow and just allow everything to unfold as required this naturally eliminates any trying or drive.
What you are describing here Rosie is contentment and that is a beautiful thing for the body and the being.
Yes, it allows the body to settle, and then we can surrender.
We live to many pictures and expectations of how we should be, learning to let them go I experience life differently and enjoy each moment as it comes instead of pushing myself and feeling I am not enough.
‘When I come from a place of self acceptance, what comes from me is beautiful because it has me as part of it.’
‘When I accept myself and when there is no need to try, the world gets to feel all of me.’
I’ve not appreciated myself for being enough ‘just’ for being me. Sure this wasn’t encouraged growing up to -those in charge didn’t know what it was to appreciate themselves, they were caught up in trying and struggle – but who we are never goes away so we can always return in an instant.
I’ve been locked into struggle and trying so much that trusting myself is a process. I’m discovering being me brings through all the goods and reading these sentences is so supportive as I can feel the livingness of each. Dropping all the self-loathing and feeling the beauty of the quality of who I am is wonderful. As this appreciation grows and I can feel the beauty of what can come through me, then I am feeling the magic of bringing me first in all that I do.
I can totally resonate with not feeling enough. But the thing about when we push or try to be something more or better than who we are right now the quest is endless – and incredibly unfulfilling. We never find what we’re looking for unless we stop and realise that everything we are is enough, and not only that there is an amazing grandness inside us that needs to be discovered and unfolded. It makes life incredibly simple and like an adventure, rather than a never-ending search that can ultimately only end in us discovering we are amazing.
If we imagine the vastness of the universe, trying to direct our being, our energy to a specific point and not miss it is a pretty daunting task. That is not freedom.
There is great wisdom is this. In not pushing or trying, even though this is what much of the society tells us to do – to push and to try as hard as we can. But when a child is doing their thing, it is so simple, and they bring playfulness and joy to each task, which I find amazing. It seems to be only when we are adults that the world has to become very difficult and strenuous to the point where pushing and trying is seen as the only way through – even though we have these beautiful and delicate role models living all around us all of time, reflecting that life can in fact still be full of joy, even when we have responsibilities and challenging tasks. We can look to our children and see the greatest wisdom, because they still know how to have fun.
I hadn’t allowed myself to feel the extent of the hardness in my body until recently when I stopped and felt the the affects from pushing and driving myself. It exposed very clearly the hardness in my body. We can harden our body in many ways and certainly one way is by trying, striving to get things done and in any moment where we place the doing before our being.
Reading this is a great reminder for me that in trying to be more I can actually make what I’m expressing lesser! As opposed to coming from a deeper place of acceptance and commitment to bringing all that I already am, and that we all are too, in essence.
‘When I come from a place of self acceptance, what comes from me is beautiful because it has me as part of it.’ There is a gift here expressed. If we are ourselves, present in each moment, there is nothing that can harm us, the insidous self critical thoughts has no space to affect us. When we are ourselves there is an ease to just be in life, enjoying and bringing the joy and pure love that we are in each moment. This is not possible just for the ‘special ones’ but available for all. It’s a matter of choice.
Since very recently I started to sing. At the beggining it was difficult for me to express in this way, I found myself with the ideas about how its supposed that I had to sing but one in particular prevented to freely express, the one that says that I’m not good enough for music or that my voice is not beautiful. Going deeper I realized that this feeling of not good enough didn’t apply just for music but for any area of my life actually! I could see how influenced I was by the famous singers that I previously knew before in my teenage years like Whitney Houston. I’ve asked myself: yes, her voice may sounded great but, did she was truly happy in her life? The old role model started to fall down…I realized that what matters in singing is Me, first of all and how I feel while I sing. Do I feel tense because I want to be like everyone else? Or Do I’m feeling beautiful from within just singing in acceptance of my voice and all what I am? regardless if it fit in the ideals of what good music is or not. I feel inspired by Chris James and Serge Benhayon and some people around me who is starting to find their true voice, a deeply beautiful one that comes from within and never ever will be able to be boxed or labeled because is very unique and precious.
How lovely Inma, I really enjoyed reading your comment, thank you. “…to find their true voice, a deeply beautiful one that comes from within and never ever will be able to be boxed or labeled because is very unique and precious.” We do feel very beautiful when we allow ourselves to just be and feel all that we are, simply letting it come out.
‘What I am is enough! I don’t need to be more, or push, or need to try to be. In the past, I have never accepted myself to be enough. There has always been a strive to be more’. I could have written these words, as I have always strived to be better and to improve my life…. plus I had a lot of investments of how things should look or be, which only ever created struggle because I blocked the natural flow of abundance with my investments!
I can relate, we block the natural flow of ourselves and also try to control life. We are trying to create ourselves and life a certain way instead of accepting and appreciating everything exactly as it is. It’s exhausting!
‘When I try to be more than who I am, the world does not get to feel me just the way I am. When I accept myself and when there is no need to try, the world gets to feel all of me’. Wise and profound.
“we are already enough, just as we are” – What if we appreciated this fact and then made efforts to express who we are and feel vital in our body, with imperfections and learnings along the way, rather than treating ourselves like a permanently dirtied or used item of clothing.
Trying to be someone feels completely different to just surrendering to who you already are.
The message from young is to try harder, be more, give more and do more and yet in truth the opposite is our natural way of being. When we accept that we are enough and have no attachments to the outcome, then the magic happens.
The volume of work then increases beyond what we ‘think’ is capable as there is no limit to what we can offer when we say stay committed to purpose.
And in the end what is produced or presented is a blessing for all.
All that trying and striving.. I have spent much of my life in that state and it’s totally exhausting and draining. When we’re so busy trying to strive to be a better version of ourselves then we miss out on the magic of the moment that we’re in, and the depth of beauty, and potential to expand and connect right then and there. We are already enough: no need to go anywhere or do anything to prove it. It’s a simple surrender to this basic fact, yet we so often like to make it more complicated than it needs to be.
I hate the way we have lost our innate divinity and that we have allowed this to happen and because of this we have the world in the mess that it is in. I want God to snap his fingers and make it all go away but came to the understanding that actually it’s our mess that we have collectively contributed to so we have to clear it up. I cannot ask God to sort out the woes of humanity, it is up to each and every one of us to clear our mess up. We can actually snap our fingers and change everything so how rotten does life have to get before we realise the mess we are in and do something about it?
A jewel of a blog, thank you Rosie Bason
When we truly appreciate and accept ourselves, there is simply no space for push or drive.
Someone shared with me recently that we are so much more than we think we are. That we all have our place and a part to live in life, that we all need each other to reflect the whole that we all come from. When life is put like this there is no room for jealousy, comparison, competition or any of the other negatives we view each other with. If we could understand that we all have something to bring to the world that we are in our own way very special, if we treated ourselves with a deeper level of decency and respect then just maybe we would treat others with these same qualities to.
It’s so insidious and self harming to think we are not enough, when actually we are divine and there is a vastness to us and an amazingness that we could be reconnecting to, exploring, and enjoying everyday.
When I’m enough, I don’t need to be more – d’ughh!
There is a close call, by our Soul, that asks us to connect. Connect to the deeper part of us that is divine. Connect to ourselves in our every day life, and so with each other from there. There is no need to push or try, as connection is there and does not impose on you or another.
Accepting that we are divine, that we are innately beautiful and that we are love, and not only in our heads, but actually feel that in our bodies, will offset any trying or pushing in the end.
Love this Rosie, ‘No Need to Push, No Need to Try’. It takes a lot of unnecessary energy to try when we can simply be and allow.
Trying to be more is exhausting my body and it only shows how I have certain pictures about myself how I should be, look like or act or how I think that others would like me to be. A measuring of who I truly am instead of being all of me.
Super sweet and powerful blog for our everyday and everyway.
“When I try to be more than who I am, the world does not get to feel me just the way I am.” – and what a robbery of gold that is!
When we accept and are connected to our love within, who we are, everything that we do is a blessing, inspiration and confirmation of who we all are. All of which is a natural emanation born from being and honoring ourselves. Such is the power of reflection and the responsibility we all hold as to what it is that we are sharing with the world.
Just to be is the answer to all we are looking for. No adjustments to expectations, just to be you.
There is the love we are looking for.
A very simple blog that makes perfect sense. We try an push to be something else or live up to a picture of what we think we should look like and all along miss out on the untainted beautiful expression that we are naturally.
If there is any hint of push or drive in what we do it is done from contraction and as a result we can often feel an emptiness even if we achieve the highest goal or mark.
” In society it is often about being better, bolder, bigger; we don’t seem to stop to appreciate how we are already enough, just as we are. We are all divine in our own special way. ”
This is so very true one has only to look at a baby and know this is true.
This is gorgeous to read and feel our own expression is inside us and is exactly what needs to be felt and seen from us. And this is so easy.. because it is who we are.. all already there.
When I accept myself and when there is no need to try, the world gets to feel all of me. There is such an ease when there is acceptance whether it is of ourselves and the situation we are in of acceptance of others, it makes life simple when we surrender to the love that we are.
Yes, the ease and flow this brings is palpable in your words. Very simple.