Self Acceptance: No Need to Push, No Need to Try

by Rosie Bason, Mullumbimby, NSW

When I do things such as speak, sing or paint with a need to get it to be a certain way, with a push or a need to try, I actually make it less. It is less because at that moment I am not accepting myself or realising that I am already enough. For example, the sound when I try to sing comes out hard, yet when there is no push and no need to try, it comes out naturally beautiful.

What I am is enough! I don’t need to be more, or push, or need to try to be. In the past, I have never accepted myself to be enough. There has always been a strive to be more.

When I come from a place of self acceptance, what comes from me is beautiful because it has me as part of it.

However, when I come from the drive to make it a certain way, to sound good, to look good, to be seen… all of the expectation causes an awful feeling in my body. 

In society it is often about being better, bolder, bigger; we don’t seem to stop to appreciate how we are already enough, just as we are. We are all divine in our own special way.

When I try to be more than who I am, the world does not get to feel me just the way I am. When I accept myself and when there is no need to try, the world gets to feel all of me.

I have come to this realisation after attending talks by Serge Benhayon and workshops by Chris James.

444 thoughts on “Self Acceptance: No Need to Push, No Need to Try

  1. What does it mean to accept ourselves? I have a feeling that this word is thrown around so much that the truth of it is lost.

    1. I have been in the presence of people who have accepted themselves for the grandness they are and to me there is a quality of humbleness a deep stillness and contentment in their bodies that is so real and feels so easily obtainable that I naturally want that for myself too.

    2. I can understand that self acceptance can be a struggle especially when we have lived so far away from ourselves, we have lost all recollection of who we truly are and the purpose of why we are here.

  2. At a presentation on the weekend, someone talked about having a life long love affair with yourself and I really liked that. Accepting that you are more than enough just simply being yourself and living and loving that.

    1. How amazing does that sound?! And it doesn’t sound difficult at all. Yet, we have created lives and societies which make that sound like a dream of the future.

  3. I had spent my whole life trying and it doesn’t get the required results. Accepting ourselves and where we are at allows for a deeper unfolding. No trying required. Beautiful post Rosie.

  4. I felt myself going into trying yesterday and it felt a bit yuck in my body, I felt like I was not me and I was trying to be something else. You are right Rosie, these transactions are reduced by trying because I am reducing me to try and be something/someone other than who I truly am.

  5. We are not taught or honoured to be just who we are, this gets crushed in many of us as a child. I find it especially difficult watching how we as a society crush our children by not appreciating that they are complete just as they are. They don’t need to try to be bigger, better, more forward, more intelligent, they are so very beautiful just as they are.

    1. The education system currently is so divisive, getting young children to compete against each other. As you observe Mary, it is sad to watch the crushing of young ones.

  6. It’s the same with anything – if there’s any part of us that is trying to get it right, be it a conversation with a friend, writing an essay or cooking a meal, there’s instantly a pressure that we put onto and in the situation that doesn’t need to be there at all – and then it becomes much more likely that things won’t go according to plan, because of this extra measure of control which stifles the natural flow and potential for expansion of whatever it is that we’re doing.

  7. Very few learn this or are reminded of this when they’re young, “we are already enough, just as we are”. If we did, there wouldn’t be the emptiness from trying and believing we need to be better or be fixed. There would also not be the comparison and competition because if we knew we were enough as we are then we would know that everyone else are also.

  8. This Rosie I have felt for myself to be true when I let go of the drive to achieve or have an outcome, something magical happens and there is so much more space to play in and with it is quite beautiful. I have also discovered that to try and hold on to the magic stops the flow and that is for me the key to stay in the flow and just allow everything to unfold as required this naturally eliminates any trying or drive.

  9. We live to many pictures and expectations of how we should be, learning to let them go I experience life differently and enjoy each moment as it comes instead of pushing myself and feeling I am not enough.

  10. When we come to the realisation that we are in essence love and come from love we are therefore already perfect just as we are, why would we ever try to be anything else?

  11. ‘When I come from a place of self acceptance, what comes from me is beautiful because it has me as part of it.’

    ‘When I accept myself and when there is no need to try, the world gets to feel all of me.’

    I’ve not appreciated myself for being enough ‘just’ for being me. Sure this wasn’t encouraged growing up to -those in charge didn’t know what it was to appreciate themselves, they were caught up in trying and struggle – but who we are never goes away so we can always return in an instant.

    I’ve been locked into struggle and trying so much that trusting myself is a process. I’m discovering being me brings through all the goods and reading these sentences is so supportive as I can feel the livingness of each. Dropping all the self-loathing and feeling the beauty of the quality of who I am is wonderful. As this appreciation grows and I can feel the beauty of what can come through me, then I am feeling the magic of bringing me first in all that I do.

  12. Singing is a perfect example of how pushing prevents the glory from being there and convinces one that one’s voice is ugly. It was not that it is ugly, just that the pushing makes it so. When I learned to simply allow the voice out gently with no push, I could feel a different vibration in my body and my voice sounded sweet instead of harsh.

  13. I can totally resonate with not feeling enough. But the thing about when we push or try to be something more or better than who we are right now the quest is endless – and incredibly unfulfilling. We never find what we’re looking for unless we stop and realise that everything we are is enough, and not only that there is an amazing grandness inside us that needs to be discovered and unfolded. It makes life incredibly simple and like an adventure, rather than a never-ending search that can ultimately only end in us discovering we are amazing.

    1. I too can resonate with feeling that I am not enough – all the push and drive is exhausting and yes, an endless quest to ‘get it right’. What ever happened to being enough as we are? It needs to make a come back.

  14. There is great wisdom is this. In not pushing or trying, even though this is what much of the society tells us to do – to push and to try as hard as we can. But when a child is doing their thing, it is so simple, and they bring playfulness and joy to each task, which I find amazing. It seems to be only when we are adults that the world has to become very difficult and strenuous to the point where pushing and trying is seen as the only way through – even though we have these beautiful and delicate role models living all around us all of time, reflecting that life can in fact still be full of joy, even when we have responsibilities and challenging tasks. We can look to our children and see the greatest wisdom, because they still know how to have fun.

  15. I hadn’t allowed myself to feel the extent of the hardness in my body until recently when I stopped and felt the the affects from pushing and driving myself. It exposed very clearly the hardness in my body. We can harden our body in many ways and certainly one way is by trying, striving to get things done and in any moment where we place the doing before our being.

  16. Reading this is a great reminder for me that in trying to be more I can actually make what I’m expressing lesser! As opposed to coming from a deeper place of acceptance and commitment to bringing all that I already am, and that we all are too, in essence.

  17. ‘When I come from a place of self acceptance, what comes from me is beautiful because it has me as part of it.’ There is a gift here expressed. If we are ourselves, present in each moment, there is nothing that can harm us, the insidous self critical thoughts has no space to affect us. When we are ourselves there is an ease to just be in life, enjoying and bringing the joy and pure love that we are in each moment. This is not possible just for the ‘special ones’ but available for all. It’s a matter of choice.

  18. Since very recently I started to sing. At the beggining it was difficult for me to express in this way, I found myself with the ideas about how its supposed that I had to sing but one in particular prevented to freely express, the one that says that I’m not good enough for music or that my voice is not beautiful. Going deeper I realized that this feeling of not good enough didn’t apply just for music but for any area of my life actually! I could see how influenced I was by the famous singers that I previously knew before in my teenage years like Whitney Houston. I’ve asked myself: yes, her voice may sounded great but, did she was truly happy in her life? The old role model started to fall down…I realized that what matters in singing is Me, first of all and how I feel while I sing. Do I feel tense because I want to be like everyone else? Or Do I’m feeling beautiful from within just singing in acceptance of my voice and all what I am? regardless if it fit in the ideals of what good music is or not. I feel inspired by Chris James and Serge Benhayon and some people around me who is starting to find their true voice, a deeply beautiful one that comes from within and never ever will be able to be boxed or labeled because is very unique and precious.

  19. ‘What I am is enough! I don’t need to be more, or push, or need to try to be. In the past, I have never accepted myself to be enough. There has always been a strive to be more’. I could have written these words, as I have always strived to be better and to improve my life…. plus I had a lot of investments of how things should look or be, which only ever created struggle because I blocked the natural flow of abundance with my investments!

  20. ‘When I try to be more than who I am, the world does not get to feel me just the way I am. When I accept myself and when there is no need to try, the world gets to feel all of me’. Wise and profound.

  21. “we are already enough, just as we are” – What if we appreciated this fact and then made efforts to express who we are and feel vital in our body, with imperfections and learnings along the way, rather than treating ourselves like a permanently dirtied or used item of clothing.

  22. The message from young is to try harder, be more, give more and do more and yet in truth the opposite is our natural way of being. When we accept that we are enough and have no attachments to the outcome, then the magic happens.

    1. The volume of work then increases beyond what we ‘think’ is capable as there is no limit to what we can offer when we say stay committed to purpose.

  23. All that trying and striving.. I have spent much of my life in that state and it’s totally exhausting and draining. When we’re so busy trying to strive to be a better version of ourselves then we miss out on the magic of the moment that we’re in, and the depth of beauty, and potential to expand and connect right then and there. We are already enough: no need to go anywhere or do anything to prove it. It’s a simple surrender to this basic fact, yet we so often like to make it more complicated than it needs to be.

  24. I hate the way we have lost our innate divinity and that we have allowed this to happen and because of this we have the world in the mess that it is in. I want God to snap his fingers and make it all go away but came to the understanding that actually it’s our mess that we have collectively contributed to so we have to clear it up. I cannot ask God to sort out the woes of humanity, it is up to each and every one of us to clear our mess up. We can actually snap our fingers and change everything so how rotten does life have to get before we realise the mess we are in and do something about it?

  25. Someone shared with me recently that we are so much more than we think we are. That we all have our place and a part to live in life, that we all need each other to reflect the whole that we all come from. When life is put like this there is no room for jealousy, comparison, competition or any of the other negatives we view each other with. If we could understand that we all have something to bring to the world that we are in our own way very special, if we treated ourselves with a deeper level of decency and respect then just maybe we would treat others with these same qualities to.

  26. There is a close call, by our Soul, that asks us to connect. Connect to the deeper part of us that is divine. Connect to ourselves in our every day life, and so with each other from there. There is no need to push or try, as connection is there and does not impose on you or another.

  27. Accepting that we are divine, that we are innately beautiful and that we are love, and not only in our heads, but actually feel that in our bodies, will offset any trying or pushing in the end.

  28. Trying to be more is exhausting my body and it only shows how I have certain pictures about myself how I should be, look like or act or how I think that others would like me to be. A measuring of who I truly am instead of being all of me.

  29. “When I try to be more than who I am, the world does not get to feel me just the way I am.” – and what a robbery of gold that is!

  30. When we accept and are connected to our love within, who we are, everything that we do is a blessing, inspiration and confirmation of who we all are. All of which is a natural emanation born from being and honoring ourselves. Such is the power of reflection and the responsibility we all hold as to what it is that we are sharing with the world.

  31. Just to be is the answer to all we are looking for. No adjustments to expectations, just to be you.
    There is the love we are looking for.

  32. A very simple blog that makes perfect sense. We try an push to be something else or live up to a picture of what we think we should look like and all along miss out on the untainted beautiful expression that we are naturally.

  33. If there is any hint of push or drive in what we do it is done from contraction and as a result we can often feel an emptiness even if we achieve the highest goal or mark.

  34. ” In society it is often about being better, bolder, bigger; we don’t seem to stop to appreciate how we are already enough, just as we are. We are all divine in our own special way. ”
    This is so very true one has only to look at a baby and know this is true.

  35. This is gorgeous to read and feel our own expression is inside us and is exactly what needs to be felt and seen from us. And this is so easy.. because it is who we are.. all already there.

  36. When I accept myself and when there is no need to try, the world gets to feel all of me. There is such an ease when there is acceptance whether it is of ourselves and the situation we are in of acceptance of others, it makes life simple when we surrender to the love that we are.

  37. Seeing the hand of God in so much is something I am learning to see, it has a beauty that I have not wanted to see in the past, the reason for this is puzzling in itself, but the choice to now see this level of love is very real.

  38. By living less than our full self, we reflect to everyone else that this is ok. This is how we as a society end up accepting far less than the grandness we are. Hence why our innate divinity has been shelved and function has taken over.

  39. The worst part of this drive behaviour is how it perpetuates itself. The more you push the worse things get, getting you to burrow in and keep digging furiously. The only thing you make in the end, is a grave for yourself. It’s time to say a clear no to going into this push no matter what scenario life presents – it’s all just a test to see what it will take for you to sell your sacredness out. Thank you for this awesome blog Rosie.

  40. I love this Rosie ‘When I accept myself and when there is no need to try, the world gets to feel all of me.’ And what a gift it is when we offer our true selves to everyone, others are also inspired to choose this as well.

  41. This is beautiful, Rosie. That having a picture thing, that’s endless. I even had one about how I should be more of me. And I can really feel the lack of appreciation in that outwards movement. Appreciation allows me to drop back in and it feels very different from the forward propelling I am so used to.

  42. Well said Rosie, we are here to bring all of us in order to reflect the grace, beauty and love we all are. In ‘trying’ to be something or some one else we sign off on all we agreed to bring to this world.

  43. Such a solid and powerful realisation to come to Rosie – I love what you have discovered or reconnected too – that we do not need to try. That who we are is enough.

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