by Janina Koch, Cologne/Germany
I wrote this down the other week… a realisation from my body which describes my relationship with food:
“No food in this world is more yummy than feeling delicious me!”
I used food all my life to not feel me and what is going on – as a treat for me, a reward. I loved watching TV with my wine, crisps and Belgian chocolate. It was the best part of my day. I looked forward to it. No matter how bloated I felt after, I ate a whole packet of crisps.
I didn’t want to deal with my stuff and with my life. And I didn’t want to deal with my relationship with food, or understand that the way I was eating was connected to my exhaustion, lack of vitality and commitment to life.
I defended this way of not taking responsibility for me and my life for a long time. I was convinced that life was too much and that I couldn’t handle it.
But now I know this is not true…
My mind always said “Oh, it doesn’t really matter if I eat more than I really need”, in a not very connected, rather racy way.
However, now my awareness of my relationship with food is changing and I can say it does matter.
To eat when I am not hungry, or to override feelings of being tired with food, is a way of harming myself deeply.
To stuff myself by eating too much, and with heavy food, destroys the lovely connection I am building with myself. It’s a way of giving up and letting an energy rule me which is not loving, destroying the tender loving me that I am.
There is no joy in doing that, even if the food tastes nice. The energy does not feel nice in the body, either during or after eating.
And, even though over the last 6 years I have changed to a mostly carbohydrate, dairy, sugar, alcohol and caffeine-free diet, I still did not change my relationship with food. I still used food as a reward and to numb by over-eating – especially with nuts, nuts and nuts and salty food. So it has been a process of constantly feeling what my body is telling me.
I am becoming more aware of how my mind tricks me by dictating what, when and how much I can choose to eat. I can still fall for this instead of listening to my body. My body does indicate to me in a much stronger way now, more than ever before I started to listen.
I feel this is super-important to say all of this, as it is normal for us to abuse ourselves with drink or food. Most people do it.
But…. there is a different way to be!
So now, it’s about starting a new relationship with food and myself. It’s in the way I deal with food, in the way I prepare and eat it – and in what I choose to eat to actually nourish my body. Now, I can start to treat my body with love, preciousness and respect.
Deeply inspired by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
Having the commitment to constantly fine-tune our relationship with food is the best support that we can offer our bodies to be a vessel for the volume that is needed in line with our own evolution.
Yes the issue is never really with the food, what comes before we make the choice to eat this or that is our relationship with ourselves, what we are willing or not to feel. If we are tired do we go for the coffee and sugar, if feeling an upset do we go for a comfort food, if we are bored do we go for stimulation? Quite a science the way we can use food, and it seems it is getting more ‘creative’ by the day.
As my relationship with myself has deepened so too do my food choices lighten. It is difficult to feel lightness and clarity in the body when the food ingested is heavy and dense. Like closing a curtain on the bright and shining sun.
Thank you Janina. I loved reading this and your words find me at a time where I am very aware that I need to change my relationship with food. It can be a heavy subject but you bring a lightness and a joy to it that is contagious.
I started “a new relationship with food” quite a few years ago and with the changes in my body and my health being so incredible I felt like I was starting life all over again. Gone were the days of feeling continuously miserable and exhausted, with one body issue after another, to be replaced with a feeling of lightness in my body, a steady increase in my vitality and a big increase in my energy for daily living. Food had finally became my friend and not my enemy.
It is always revealing to look at not the food ‘issue’ as such but what comes before we make the choice to eat.
Great point Victoria. Whenever I focus on food as my issue I know I am off track as it has never really been about food. My diet at the moment is not supportive but instead of focussing on what I eat I know I need to focus on the way I move and the way I react or respond to the world around me.
The body is very clear in its messages when it comes to food, what sits well and what doesn’t, puffy eyes, bloated stomach, allergies, heart palpitations, dizzy heads and the list goes on. A body that is well cared for and listened to responds in kind.
I have found that when I don’t listen to my body and eat foods that don’t support it, my body is very quick in giving me a message either I get stomach ache or a mouth ulcer or I genuinely start to feel unwell and tired.
It brings a deep honor to our body – what it is meant for and how we can treat it from our mind or our heart.. And so we are forever reminded/signalled by our body how to treat it and how it feels treated. Hence the greatest intelligence is our body – and we can turn that back on by living accordingly.
This is so common with people, and a pattern I used to indulge in, and still have to watch that it does not try to creep back in at times, ‘To eat when I am not hungry, or to override feelings of being tired with food, is a way of harming myself deeply.’
Its those times of the day usually at the end or close to the end of my working day that I do not want to feel. The pain becomes too much that food is the vice I use to numb it. The pain is me not taking a moment to stop and deeply honour and call out what is not working in the way I’m living in that moment before that lead to that pain. The moment I honour my truth and be honest about how I feel is my own way of nourishing my body.
I’ve been gluten, dairy, sugar, caffeine and alcohol-free for a decade and what a difference that has made! But there’s more to unravel as today, I’m discovering my relationship with food now is all about my relationship with awareness. If I don’t want to feel, I use food to dull me down. Now it’s about looking at the details, and quantities, and what it is I’m not wanting to feel.
It is interesting as this awareness and relationship with our body is not the norm when it comes to food. Over the decades food has become more a comfort and enticement and waistlines are showing the result of this. Having a relationship with our bodies does refine our awareness and starts to alter what we choose to eat. This is my experience, and when I honour that my body loves it.
It is always our choice whether to eat to numb ourselves or to eat to stay aware and in connection to ourselves. If we eat too much or heavy food, or even sugary or salty food, we lose our connection to our body and it then becomes easier to override what our body is communicating to us and even be disregarding with our body, and the quality and energy in our body from indulging in the above foods does not feel lovely at all.
“No food in this world is more yummy than feeling delicious me!” So very true and what a great realisation to get to. Food can have such a dramatic effect on the way we are feeling and can perpetuate how we are feeling. Sorting ones diet and food choices out can go along way to claiming our body back for the love that it is.
We can either eat to feel or eat not to feel. Thus, it is not so much that we are having a relationship with food as we are having a relationship with awareness, or lack of it. Every morsel of food we eat, depending on what kind and how much (and it is different for everyone with no set rules in place) can either support us to deepen in our clarity or, bludgeon our senses so we remain numb to life and the truth of all things.
If anyone had told me a few years ago that it was possible to have another, more loving relationship with food, I would have probably been incredulous and then continued on with my very destructive relationship with what I ate and drank. Thankfully those self-destructive days have gone to be replaced with an evolving relationship with food that is in the main very respectful of my body and my body thanks me for it every day.
‘To stuff myself by eating too much, and with heavy food, destroys the lovely connection I am building with myself.’ I too am realising the same Janina.
This is a great quote because it is so true. I realise if I am moving already disconnected, the energy I am in drives me to make unloving choices, so learning to strip everything back and keep checking in with myself what energy I am choosing, pranic or firery energy? Then the choices that follows would be aligned to the energy I choose. Being aware of my relationship with food it great but also important to be aware of my relationship with myself and my choice of energy. If I choose a firery energy this will naturally support my food choices.
I realise sometimes I sabotage how amazing I feel by eating to dull down my joy. It relates back to an old habit of mine which stems from childhood hurts. I often experienced being joyful as a child and then feeling crushed by people putting me down or abusing me. Now I don’t experience any abuse from people around me but the thoughts that it’s not safe to be joyful sometimes creep in. It sounds crazy but it makes sense to me why I would sabotage feeling joyful because I still haven’t fully let go of fear. Fear of being attacked, fear of my own power and whenever I feel this way it is a choice to dull down being joyful. Being aware that I use food or create issues to avoid being joyful is a great start to make some different choices, more love choices and by choosing to let go of fear.
Last night I went to a restaurant where they serve the most amazing gluten free bread. In the past, I have gone straight for it. Last night it didn’t appeal to me. I observed this, no judgement – just an observation in my body – and I could feel the lightness in my body and I knew that for a few seconds of a nice taste, that bread would make me feel heavy, disturb my sleep and then some. So what I realised from this is that I don’t have a food issue, I was just choosing in the past to not sit with and appreciate the lightness I felt in my body.
‘To eat when I am not hungry, or to override feelings of being tired with food, is a way of harming myself deeply.’ Well said Janina if humanity listened to this wisdom and lived it I am sure diabetes 2 and the obesity levels would not be as high as they currently are.
I am joining you in that relationship! How I prepare food, how I eat it, going back further and looking at how I shop and what I buy – from today it all changes to lay a foundation for a more consistent approach. It feels a little like groundhog day, but that is what I love about my body and the larger body of God or Love I am held in, it hasn’t given up on me and neither should I. I will go round and round this sun till I learn how to let go of all the patterns of behaviour that take me away from being all that I am here to be.
Food is one of our biggest traps to our wellbeing. There are many layers of beliefs with foods. One of mine was “a little bit of everything won’t hurt” and so it was a little bit of everything I had. My body as a result became over weight and bloated, I looked dull and not full of life. So I too started doing some of my own experiments with food that showed me that my body felt lighter with more vitality without certain foods. If I had them again my body would respond immediately and I could feel the effects of them really clearly, confirming that a) I didn’t deed them but also B) that effect was not an enjoyable feeling either. I would not have got to that understanding if I hadn’t have clearly felt that in my body.
When we begin to really listen to our bodies, there is a level of self honouring that goes hand in hand with it. We feel more deeply connected, so we then feel good about ourselves and invariably make more loving food choices.
The relationship we have with ourselves, will govern the relationship we have with food. The more we know, understand and appreciate about ourselves the less need we have of food and the more we make nourishing food choices.
Sure Janina, there is another way of being, a way that is in appreciation of the preciousness and delicateness our bodies are. Therefore choosing to become more aware of what life is doing to us and in understanding that we have created mechanisms for not having to feel the impact of how we conduct life in our bodies, by eating foods that numb the body we can change our way of living and stop to numb the body and with that allow ourselves to reconnect with the reality of life again.
Beautiful, it is the way we do things; in this matter about eating foods. The poweful aspect of it is that once we use our intelligence of our body : so the signals and responding to for example certain foods, and we trust that and follow those signs, we are actually better of healthwise than ignoring and listening to our heads. Thinking we think we are clever whilst actually we are not! Ha, what a bummer! But one of truth is always stronger. Hence our body is stronger than our mind when it comes down to showing us the truth.
We can cut certain foods out, eat a certain way and tick many boxes but until we look at our relationship with food we may still have food “issues”.
Thank you Janina, there is no food in the world that can compare to the yumminess of feeling who we truly are and it is only through appreciation of ourselves that we can never accept anything else which can make us feel less than that.
Realising that food may not be the issue but the after effect of something more subtle can allow a lot of space to understand what is behind the want and desire for certain foods.
“No food in this world is more yummy than feeling delicious me”. This is a sign that needs to be on every fridge; I would certainly love one on mine. What you have written here is so true, but sadly not yet understood by many, as food has become a way to numb the stresses and strains of the world, burying the wonderful beings that we are under an avalanche of products that our bodies simply cannot cope with. I found that by building a new relationship with me naturally lead to a new relationship with food and my body thanks me every day.
It is a great revelation you share Janina – that the food we eat for comfort, relief or reward is only perpetuating the need to eat the food we think will give us comfort, relief or reward. But in fact it is this choice of food that is actually hindering our sense of clarity to know and feel the truth of what is truly needed in honor of our bodies. Instead we are adding to our exhaustion, unease in the body, and to us feeling un-well therefore needing relief or an escape. You have highlighted the power that comes when we choose to discern the energy of what we are eating and why we are choosing it. For food may seem appealing to our taste buds, but the result is far from appealing in our bodies, if we are choosing foods without being aware of what we are craving and why.
When it comes to food choices, discipline never worked for me. What is effective is asking myself why I want to eat a certain thing and realising that it’s not about the food but that Ii’m choosing it instead of expressing how I feel about something – to myself or another.
Making choices to listen to our body is so key and also what you point out “It’s a way of giving up and letting an energy rule me which is not loving, destroying the tender loving me that I am.” This is so true, I have found this to be the case for myself. When I over eat, it does stop me from feeling my tenderness and it does stop me from being in my awareness.
“No food in this world is more yummy than feeling delicious me!” I will endeavour to remember to say this to my spirit every time it presents me with any tempting foods (which is quite regularly).
In my experience the mind will nearly always advocate for more food and at all and every occasion – once we learn to listen to the body, the message changes completely.
If we are not aware – we do not have to feel what is there and so we do not have to take responsibility for how we feel. Therefore the best thing to do is to numb our ability to be aware with food and most of us are specialists in that. We know exactly what and how much we have to eat to numb this awareness in each situation!
Our relationship with food is not separate from the relationship with everything else in our lives. Therefore before we have a problem with food we have another area in our lives where truth is not being lived. When we are living all we are then our bodies will choose foods to nourish over foods that can alter our state of being.
“I can start to treat my body with love, preciousness and respect.” When we are truly connected and feel the beauty of who we truly are, why would we want to numb that with food that doesn’t support us? I also know the self-sabotage (and eat foods that no longer support me) after feeling so yummy – time to put an end to that one.
The thing is that it does matter – because the depth of our awareness is affected by how much we eat, and that awareness is so super important to everything that we do.
Well said Janina, “No food in this world is more yummy than feeling delicious me!”. So many of us, (I would have to say all of us) have used food to not feel what is going on for us or to avoid feeling a hurt or pain of some sort. It is amazing how when something happens that I do not like how much auto-pilot kicks in wanting some sort of food/snack. Yet when I do not give into the desire to not feel what has happened the situation becomes much clearer and I get to understand and resolve it rather then it stay lingering with me. Sure food can stop the immediacy of the feeling but it only stops it coming up for a while and then when it comes back up it feels even worse.
There is a different way to be with food, and yet it is as if its tendrils are wrapped around our psyche deep inside, and it takes such vigilance and awareness and indeed a willingness to feel what we had given over to inside of us to even start to address this particular addiction.
“No food in this world is more yummy than feeling delicious me!” Thank you Janina for this tasty reminder that feeling the loveliness of who we are is so much more fulfilling than food.
I can so relate to eating to relieve tension and as a reward. But my body tells me loud and clear when what and how much I’m eating is not truly nourishing for me.
Thank you Janina for bringing awareness to the relationship we can have with food. To see it as a relationship is already a great start and to see it as a relationship that we can determine how it is going to be, that we are the key factor in it, is even grander. It is so easy to make it about food, what to eat and what not, how much or how little, which diet to follow, when to eat, how often, the list can go on, but what you present here, how you feel and how you are with and in your body, is the missing link that we often do not consider. Working on the connection we have with our body can answer us many questions.
‘There is no joy in doing that, even if the food tastes nice. The energy does not feel nice in the body, either during or after eating.’ I agree completely Janina. There is no joy in over indulging, yet at the time it can appear that there is an excitement or stimulation with eating certain foods, especially if they are a treat! But do the treats, rewards or stimulation ever last long? No. It is not sustainable and ultimately does not confirm who we are within, the Love we are from or the connection we hold to everything around us.
The over indulgence of food is completely normal and we even have events that champion how many hot dogs one can shove in their mouth within a certain time frame. Yet, this is a normal thing! This may sound radicle, but image if that was happening with drug taking or other known harmful substances, would we be championing that too or be a little more quick to say ‘something is very wrong with this picture’…? We can use food to really harm ourselves, and like Janina, a global reassessment needs to happen where our relationship with food is explored – but it starts with ourselves first.
It is very interesting how much we can abuse ourselves with food whilst we are under the perception that we are rewarding ourselves.
Janina, food is for me also something I’ve used like a drug when I don’t want to feel what is going on in and around me. I could feel very strongly when you said ‘It’s a way of giving up and letting an energy rule me which is not loving, destroying the tender loving me that I am’ that this is what we do when we dishonour the body, and the more I’m listening to my body the more I’m finding those places where I still do so, so it’s a constant refining without any perfection. and reading this now I’m reminded that each time I over ride my body it tells me loud and clear that this is not working.
I am realising now how much over-eating or eating what doesn’t feel true for my body can drop the quality of my connection, also how when there is something that I don’t want to feel, how food is something that can be used to dull, numb or take me out of my presence.
As I sit here feeling rather bloated having just overeaten I am left asking myself the question “Do I care enough to listen to my body and not overeat simply because I want comfort, dulling, reward etc.?” Clearly tonight the answer is ‘no’, which is pretty hard to feel. But what I do feel from this being exposed is that i do not want to continue not caring because I am in truth a deeply caring person, but this care has to be for myself before it can be for any other and this starts with listening to my body and not overriding anything – particularly how much and what I feel to eat.
Thank you Janina, I love the simplicity of what you share here and see that it offers a potential for us all to reassess the when the why and the how we eat and prepare our food
Janina you have presented many great aspects on this subject of food and our relationship with it. I can follow in your steps completely and am deepening my relationship with food. It can be our medicine or poison depending on the intent of why we are eating it. To nourish our beautiful respectful bodies or dull, numb.and abuse with disregard to our bodies.
My personal relationship with food has changed enormously over the years, and our food intake needs to adjust accordingly to the changes we make in our lives for when I don’t my body speaks loud and clear letting me know I have gone too far.
Food never destroys the connection we have with ourselves, it just dulls it just like it dulls our awareness of the ugliness of the situations around us that we do not want to feel. Sensitivity and vulnerability are definitely super important in allowing us to remain steady with feeling everything and not choosing to abuse our bodies using food in this way
The message you have conveyed in this blog Janina is so important, that being, to treat your body with love, preciousness and respect. If this is our foundation we will not abuse our bodies with food but listen deeply to what is required. For me food can still be an indication that I am not honouring or listening to my body.
Your blog is a timely reminder thank you.
The use of food as a reward is a big deal – it’s like an epidemic amongst man really. What other species does such a thing, expect of course dogs and other domestic pets that have picked up on our habits..? Why do we need the reward? Is our life that flat and miserable that we look for excitement in a meal? I know if I’ve had a disconnected day at work, I certainly look forward to a good dinner to fix things, which is really harmful and already a set up for abuse (to over eat). Food will never connect me back to myself, that is why we breath, my breath and movements and understanding will allow connection.
A new relationship with food, I love this and feel really inspired to go deeper with the invitation. Even though the food I eat is not classed as ‘bad’ food, I can still over eat . I can see pretty clearly that for me, what the food is doesn’t matter as much now but the way I eat and why I want to eat is what affects my connection within. Of course, if I was to eat a donut I would most probably get much more sick then I would eating a gluten free pasta – but why I am eating those foods is the focus now. Too long I’ve played the puppet to my thoughts and just gone for whatever I’ve felt like. Now I am taking the lead and having a say in what I put in my mouth.
We usually aren’t taught to understand that food is not meant to be a reward. It is common to see right from the early years that parents give their children sweets etc as a reward for doing something that pleases the adult. What a trap! As the years progress it’s no wonder that food becomes associated with reward, pleasure and a way of not facing up to things. Great sharing Janina and it’s obvious from the comments that there are many of us who can relate to what you have written.
Very appropriate today that I have read your sharing with us Janina. Its taken some while (how many lifetimes?) to finally get to the point of really feeling and listening to my body. It is so clear in giving the signals to what foods harm and what foods heal/nourish. Those many mind numbing ‘tricks’ that are given a free way to manipulate those inbuilt signals can be a ‘mind field’ and, only yesterday the full force of those tricks became so apparent with the help of another student as we were sharing our food habits. Your blog sums this up so well/clearly. “Its a way of giving up and letting an energy rule me which is not loving, destroying the tender loving me that I am”. Interestingly when this happens my whole being is affected and this in turns affects all my choices thereafter and my relationship with others. I do feel a corner has been turned and these highly tuned up bodies are so wise – now to listen, constantly having an awareness when wisdom is given for free.
Brilliant to re-read your blog Janina at a time when I am discovering even more the effects of the choices I am making around food. When you consider the reason why you are eating and actually stop to feel if what your mind ‘wants’ is actually true often you can track back to a feeling such as overwhelm or exhaustion. When we stop and actually feel this it becomes evident that food is being used to not feel and to some extent mask the truth of what is really going on. It is something I am beginning to notice and be aware of and I feel it is going to allow me to truly feel how it is I am actually eating.
If we do not live in a way that is open to connect to other people, communicate how we feel and also if something does not feel right, listen to our body and honor and appreciate who we are than we need things to make up for not feeling in harmony with ourselves and life. Food is a welcome way of filling, rewarding and distracting us.
A great message here about how over-eating causes a heaviness, lethargy and disinclination to deal with with what is really going on in our lives and what we’re using food to mask. There’s a world of difference in how I feel in and about my body when I honour not just what it wants to eat but also when and how much. For me, less is definitely becoming more – more vitality, more energy and more resilience.
Yesterday at work I was eating in the morning already too much because I did want to deal with what is going on and how I felt. So at lunch time I nominated what was going on which helped me not simply run and eat my lunch even though I wasn’t hungry just to fill myself up. So I did not have lunch instead lay down, rested and felt very supported, present and powerful.
Absolutely beautiful Janina. Lately I am seeing that I have used almost everything I have ever eaten to dull myself. I have started eating food that my body truly wants and it is a huge adjustment as the ‘hook’ of the food that dulls me is what I have equated with enjoyment. Your blog allows me to feel that true enjoyment is being connected to myself.
The body actually doesn’t need much food at all. We often eat not because we are hungry but because we want to eat or think we have to eat something. So there are still a lot ideals and beliefs and images around the subject of food we need to nominate and look at.
Definite yes to treating ‘my body with love, preciousness and respect’. Getting honest about the ways that I abuse my body with food has been a slow process but the more I build my appreciation for me the less need I have to fill the emptiness of missing me with overeating. Love how you expose that it is the energy we are in way before we put the food in our mouth that dictates our food choices and building this awareness supports us to feel what is true for us in each instance.
Thank you Janina for this awesome blog. Our relationship with food is a important topic to discuss as it is something I realise not many people are willing to look at. I was one to overeat too a few years ago and not realising it was a form of abuse. Is it possible that we are slowly killing our body with food? Not just by overeating but with our food choices. When we eat for comfort the types of food we choose are often loaded with sugar, salt and fat. What we put into our body affects how it functions and the type of energy we allow in to run us causes us to disconnect from ourselves and from others.
Thankyou Michelle for the reminder that to feel deeply in our bodies what is really going on is the key to understanding our relationship with food. I can really relate to what you are saying as I too have a very intimate relationship with the nut jar!
Thanks Janine, this topic about food and overeating is something that is something that i’m becoming very aware of at the moment. I feel that the over eating for me is a dulling down, a creating of a feeling of numbness so i’m not aware of how i’m feeling.
The other day after a Sacred Movement Dance class, with Karin Becker from Australia, I felt so deeply connected within my body, that day my connection was so strong that food was of no interest and i did not each much at all.
I know this feeling Janina, being filled from the inside out is so nourishing.
Exactly Linda, and as soon I have allowed the unloving energy in, I want more of the food that is destroying the loving connection with myself and with others.
It is rediculous sometimes when I eat too much, even if it is healthy food, it does destroy the lovely connection that I know that I am. You are right Janina; that moment I am letting a unloving energy rule my life.
Thank you Janina for such an awesome blog. This is perfect timing for me to read this as I have a strong feeling to change my relationship with food and to eat to support me not to dull me and exhaust me. Even though my diet can be very healthy I can see there are still areas I need to look at with the amounts I am eating or eating when I am not hungry – a constant learning and refining worth committing to.
I agree Anna our relationship with food is a “constant learning” to become more aware, more honest and to listen to our body. And even I eat much less and have reduced my diet to very healthy food I still choose to eat in a way to stimulate my nervous system and therefore I feel less of me. With the underlying belief that the world would be too much to feel when I am not filled with a certain amount of food. But really it shows that I am still reacting to a lot of things around me instead of observing and holding myself steady.
Driving on my way home from work i was wondering How much food do i really need to eat every day. How much is my way of eating still determined by ideas about how much, how often i should be eating and the pleasure of wanting to eat or the need to dull, numb not to feel myself and what is going on.
“I also still have cravings and sometimes fall back with certains foods. This has nothing to do with the foods, but with me, my connection and my own relationship.” Exactly Mariette! So if we struggle with food it is not about discipline but focus back on our connection and relationship to ourselves. If we build a stronger loving foundation with ourselves it supports us to build a loving relationship with food.
‘If we build a stronger loving foundation with ourselves it supports us to build a loving relationship with food.’ Absolutely Janina it’s about committing to our connection with ourselves and that is then reflected in our relationship with food.
At the end you say, Janina, it also has to do with the way we eat and that is something I am focussing on. When I eat on my own I have noticed that I seek distraction while I am eating, for instance listening to an audio , going through the post, or texting someone – you get the picture? So I make myself a lovely meal and then it is as if I say to myself, ‘you are not worth this meal and the time it takes to eat it.’ I understood (clocked) this the other day (with the support of a lovely friend). Now I sit down to eat, connect to me and my worth and enjoy me and my food. That feels like an important work in progress for me.
It’s super interesting how we do things differently when other people are involved, I notice that in myself all the time, and find it super easy to distract myself when alone, but as an amazing friend pointed out to me this morning, you are actually never alone, and there are no moments that do not count.
I really felt this strongly this morning Meg, that I have a responsibility to everyone in every moment. ( even when I am alone) It doesn’t feel like a burden or something too big to handle, it is just a simple fact. When I simply honour this fact I honour myself and in turn my body and my desire to fill myself up with food, or to seek tastiness, has no sway.
And when you eat and honour yourself it is nourishing your body from the inside out.
Yes true nourishment for the whole body.
Funny Janina, like you I have refined what I eat but still get those cravings but this time its for nuts, nuts and nuts! However, the major benefit of changing my diet is that I can feel the difference more quickly. No longer is there no association, on the contrary it is finely tuned and my body tells me very quickly when I’m doing something it does not agree with.
Janina,
It is timely that I find myself reading your blog this evening. I have just today had the understanding that it is time to deepen my relationship with food and your blog flags all of the reasons as to why I have been putting off truly claiming this. Thank you.
“No food in this world is more yummy than feeling delicious me!” I love this simple and profound truth, on this planet we are all crazy about food – it’s all about stimulation, taste and comfort – we eat things that are so unnatural because they taste good, and forget that food is primarily there for our nourishment and nutrition.
Totally agree Meg – we’re all focussed on the taste, and ignore the much more fundamental role food has to play in our stomach, intestines, blood, health, nutrition etc. etc. There is so much more going on than taste alone, yet we override that for a brief bit of stimulation.
Yes so true Simon, for that brief moment of stimulation we actually suffer for much longer afterwards from feeling tired, bloated, headaches and even feeling sick. Often my mind conjures up these amazing taste sensations to entice me to eat foods that are not supportive for my body but when I listen to my body it will always lovingly guide me to eat to nourish not for comfort.
Our bodies love simplicity. When we consume a meal that is rich, heavy and indulgent it may give you the sensation that you are being rewarded and indulged – but what is the consequence on our body? It makes sense to me that if you fill your body with poor quality empty calories, your metabolism must correspondingly struggle with breaking down the abundant and variety of substances laden in that meal. This leaves your body feeling a heavy sluggish sensation as it works hard to digest that meal. And if that is what happens with one meal, we must also consider how challenging it is for the human body to be constantly inundated with an actual entire ‘diet’ that is rich, heavy and indulgent – so meal after meal the bodies metabolism is constantly being overwhelmed and challenged, and the bodies systems is constantly being overtaxed. With societies current escalating health statistics and rates of obesity maybe we need to consider that our actual diet is a major contributing factor to feeding these statistics (among other variables) and our bodies nutritional requirements is actually simpler that what we think we need. As you say Janina, it would be wise for us all to start a new relationship with food.
Great comment Suse, thank you for sharing here just how much it taxes our bodies when we eat foods that are heavy, rich and complex. This is something that we all as a humanity need to begin to see and to understand. Thank you
It is a strategy i know very well from myself to overeat or to eat food that makes you feel heavy., like eating a whole pizza or lots of pasta (which i did for many years) . The body is only busy dealing with the food and less focus on what is going on and how you feel, really a way to distract from what is truly going on.
I caved in for the desire for food yesterday to relieve the tension I was feeling and I didn’t sleep well last night. I was wired, feeling sick and didn’t deeply rest then woke up feeling tired still. My body is showing, this isn’t the way to go.
I can totally relate – when I eat to relieve tension, or to stop myself feeling something I feel so sick afterwards. Our bodies are so quick to tell us the truth!
So honest Kristy, this helps us make wiser choices when we become aware of the ill affects of our previous choices.
Wow Janina this blog and all the sharings are amazing. I can relate to many of these. I often still eat food when I am feeling tired or nervous and overeating or conscious presence during eating is really something I choose to take more care of now as I know there is another way.
Yes Janina, I had certainly carried the idea and loved to have this idea : that taking care of yourself is choosing to eat whatever you like, even if this was in the expense of how my body felt after.. I mean from saying this now, I can feel the disgrace, that I was before never aware of feeling (I did not want to feel). You are spot on with this blog, your truth is true and this captures for me the fact that I am still eating away, more then my body asks for and instead following the tempting mind (who seemingly does not care a lot about the consequences for the body). It is time to take some action, and notice what feels really supportive of our body when we eat it, at least I will bring more focus to this and commitment. Truth is love and love is taking care of your body all of the time:)
Yes, this is so true. I have experienced this, my mind doesn’t care how my body feels as long as I follow its enticing images of how amazing something is going to taste.
So true Danna and Janina, our minds quite simply override the body conveniently forgetting how certain foods have felt in the body til it is too late. I find the effects of eating this way quicker than ever before and agree it is time to bring more focus and commitment to the way we choose to eat. Time to let go of the images and open up to eating in a way that truly reflects the love and support we have for our bodies.
Food is for me a constant redefining theme. It it not only about what to eat and if my mind or my body’s telling me what to eat. But also the amount and how I eat. Lately I noticed that I eat a lot. Before I would have judged myself about it, but now I allow myself to eat as much as my body wants. As I am writing this I actually feel how much Trust I have regained by listening to my body around food. The relationship is completely different. And my body speaks very loud what it wants and what it doesn’t want. Or it’s actually not a want. It’s more a knowing what it needs to serve best there-after. What an Amazing intelligence. Even writing this comment is learning me more about me and my relationship with food.
I realized how obsessed i have been with the subject of food and to eat what is really healthy and also being a good student (even nobody asked me to be that). And criticizing myself for not getting it right when i overeat. But this is just a simple game i played for too long avoiding my potential, to claim and live the powerful women that i am, also in relationships.
Spot on Janina – I can absolutely relate to this game. In my obsession over food I am blind to the bigger picture and that there is so much more to what I am choosing to eat. It’s all a cover up and a game my spirit plays to keep itself hidden in self-criticism and loathing which is ultimately comfort. I can feel the key to free myself from the self-improsoned bind is to accept and appreciate the package of Joy and Light I am and what I bring to the world. In this acceptance there is no way I would want to choose comfort, as the full-ness felt in purpose wipes out the need to distract or escape.
“No food in this world is more yummy than feeling delicious me” What a lovely acknowledgment of appreciation for yourself and who you truly are, and an inspiring reminder for me. Thank-you Janina.
It is no coincidence that I have read this blog today – When reading your words “But – there is a different way to be” there most certainly is and I know it, my body is constantly showing me this. SO a new beginning of really listening to my body and to eat the foods that nourishes not feeding a need or comfort. Thank you Janina a very welcome reminder.
Exactly Alexandre!
Yes Alexandre, Food can support to be the Amazing light that we are or it can destruct it.
Absolutely Janina, it does have to do with the relationship we’re having with food, how we nourish ourselves, and the worth we hold for ourselves. Getting to know what drives us to reach for a slice of ‘instant relief’, rather than connecting and staying connected to the true call of want our body is asking for. With this understanding there is no need to accept less than absolute love in the choices we make, be it with food or anything else that we nourish ourselves with.
Yesterday I spent an amazing time picking up a friend from the airport and having a beautiful conversation during our trip.
When we arrive at the house and started to eat. I could feel that there is a strong momentum to check out while I eat, eat things I don’t want to eat which tastes nice or overeat. And I could feel how my powerful connection and presence reduced with this habit of overeating and eating the wrong food which does not support me anymore.
I love what you share, Janina. When I was overeating, I was numbing myself from feeling that awesome ‘yumminess’ within, so I didn’t have that to compare with the sluggishness felt. The ‘yumminess’ definitely feels better than any food tastes!
Thanks Janina. You present the truth here. Overeating is a form of abuse that I have accepted to not feel. In truth this choice to numb myself affects many other people around me not just myself. It affects the quality of my sleep, my day, the way I relate to me and to others. If we treat our body with love, preciousness and respect and ate only to nourish our body, what a different world we would live in.
Very true Janina, I too, have altered my diet but have realised I now substitute nuts and salty food, and will eat when I am not hungry. Time to go deeper 🙂
I have recently discovered that the behaviour I eat in is like I haven’t eaten for a week and I don’t know when I’ll eat again. So I have a constant supply of snacks in my handbag, I am always making sure I have lunch ready for the next day and I keep a constant eye on my bank balance to make sure I can still buy food. I also discovered because of this behaviour when I wanted a sugar hit I couldn’t just stop at one or two biscuits/lollies I would have to eat the whole packet. Now that I am aware of this I am more in tune with my body and feeling if I am hungry or if something has thrown me out.
This morning I talked to a friend and he shared with me the importance of the way you cook your food for yourself is so important and not only what you actually eat. And also to be more open feeling the quality of the food and which energy certain food companies have some supportive, some harming.
I realize to be more open to energetic factor concerning the whole area of eating.
I agree Janina that this is super-important to share. Even if we are eating foods that are in a way more supportive for us it still comes does to the quality of our presence when and why we are eating or preparing food. And I find that the more I am honest and honor what is truly going on the more I am truly supporting me and my connection to what is true. I am still refining this for myself and this blog is a wonderful and inspiring confirmation – thank you.
No food is greater than feeling who we are. Wow! That turns dieting on its head if we choose to live to this truth.
I agree Ingrid Ward i have observed the same that i often eat food when my body actually needs a stop and rest.
Completely agree Janina, feeling my body, it’s really great at telling me what to eat and what not to eat. It’s as simple as bringing awareness to my torso area and asking myself, do I really need that? It’s a cool feeling when I listen to it.
I observed that i as soon as there is tension for example in my relationship with my partner i tend to eat, instead of taking the responsibility to address what is going on, to communicate or to connect to my partner. This is harming myself and my partner and keeps me stuck in the way i used to live which doesn’t feel right anymore. So i used food to numb and dull myself in doing that i avoid taking responsibility ouch!
Thank you Janina, I am slowly developing a relationship with food, it is a different matter to develop a relationship with how the body feels after I have eaten. For a large part of my life I have considered I have eaten healthily, eating mainly what I thought was good for me. Now it is time for me to feel more deeply and listen to my body.
I can so relate to you blog Janina, my relationship with food many years ago also was one of numbing and reward, what i realised was that even though my food choices have gotten better, the relationship i have with food had not. It is still a work in progress, but bringing more awareness to how i eat, the energy i eat in etc. is beginning to change. It is allowing me to feel more into what to eat and when, without perfection, but it really is making a huge difference. Not making it about the food but what i am feeling in my body.
Yes, Anne the effect food can have on our well being and or lack of well-being is massive.
Such a great blog Janina. I know the feeling you describe of eating healthy but still eating in a way that is unloving. That is eating to not feel something or as a reward after a full day of work. I am changing this too at the moment and I love getting more honest about how I really feel after eating certain foods. For instance a particular food always made me feel energized at first but would leave me feeling like falling asleep after an hour I ate it. Because it made me feel more energetic at first it took me a while to let it go, but I did and I feel so much better overall without this food.
“Janina you mention our movements towards the fridge that reverberate throughout our body and impact on what we choose to take out.” – Yes Patricia this stood out for me too, great to clock the way we are in all our movements and not just when we arrive at our destination.
Love this Janina “No food in this world is more yummy than feeling delicious me!”
When I feel from my body what food it needs to support me continually feeling great, it changes what I normally “think” I should be eating. As Miranda Benhayon says something like this “feel what to eat not eat what you feel”. This has changed, and constantly changes, my relationship with food and everything to do with it.
I wanted to say it again and celebrate this wonderful quote “No food in this world is more yummy than feeling delicious me!” This is so true. I know I used to ‘defend’ my choices in food and drink and thought they where an essential part of society, my life in it and also a reward for feeling like I had been ‘trying’ hard in this life. And yet when I truly stopped and considered what I was doing this attitude did not add up. Living who we are more fully brings deep joy, which yes is always going to be more ‘yummy’ than any food. Thank you for sharing.
Absolutely Samantha, – “Living who we are more fully brings deep joy, which yes is always going to be more ‘yummy’ than any food.” – When I am feeling great within myself I crave less and eat less and so don’t overeat and numb myself.
“Living who we are more fully brings deep joy, which yes is always going to be more ‘yummy’ than any food” love it Samantha!
Beautiful point Samantha – and when we are ourselves in full there is no need to fill our bodies to not feel the emptiness of not being who we are.
What I realise now, through a presentation by Serge and Natalie Benhayon, that even food is an obvious aspect which we can indulge in, numb ourselves or overeat but really, what we will decide to eat starts not at the fridge door, but in the way we walk to the fridge. The movements we make, magnify throughout our body and will determine what food we will have. Do we walk in a loving appreciative way or do we walk checked out and critical.
You can take it back a step further Janina. How do we go to the supermarket to purchase the food, pay for the food and cook the food. The more checked out you are the more sensation of taste you need in your mouth to taste food, hence the sugary and salty foods.
I agree lindellparlour with what intention do i go shopping to the supermarket to support and nourish myself or for comfort and numbing myself.
Thanks Janina for highlighting the way in which the mind can still rule food choices and how it’s often referred to first instead of being with the body. Something for me to be more aware of!
Ah yes, the nuts ! Nuts are my chips now..
Thank you Janina, this is the perfect blog for me this evening. I love that even though it was written close to 2yrs ago it has a living wisdom that will forever be relevant. Thank you for sharing the truth of your lived experience and for being super inspiring :).
I couldn’t agree more with every word Janina. Why IS it so easy to kid ourselves that we’re not self-abusing with food? It just shows how much we use food as a remedy/prop to how we are feeling, and haven’t gone the ‘extra mile’ you are talking about, in regards to truly being responsible in our relationship with food. (An ‘extra mile’, mind you, that could actually become our ‘normal’, should we really go there and feel the amazing benefits that a responsible relationship with food can bring.)
No one, except Universal Medicine has taught us to appreciate that indeed we do have a relationship with food that also has to be deepened, refined as we go. We know that we have a physical relationship with it and an energetic one. The latter is the key. And of course, we cannot go onto this path too far unless we start developing a relationship with our body and being. So, by all means, developing a relationship with food is crucial for evolution.
Yes Eduardo, well said “developing a relationship with food is crucial for evolution.” Yes, if we choose to eat the wrong food which does not support the body we delaying and saying no to evolution.
I love the way you have said that. It’s true, no one I know but Universal Medicine teaches about our relationship with food and how it’s constantly refining.
Great comment Eduardo – our relationship with food and what we eat is a constant evolution. What is right for us today is not necessarily going to be right in a week or a year’s time. There is always room for growth, and that includes looking at how we eat.
This is very recognizable and, as you say, it is very important to build a new relationship with food. Because I recognize how much joy I can have in my body while eating supporting foods, but when I don’t feel well I often don’t choose the supporting foods but the opposite, to numb my self. Thank you for inspiring me to build a new relationship with food.
Mmm, me too Benkt. When eating supporting foods I feel so great. I choose foods to numb myself when I don’t feel good as well… Must definitely be something I don’t want to look at as it would be a no brainer to eat what makes me feel great, right?… Time to get a new relationship with what’s underneith that eating. So instead of just eating we can look at what’s really going on instead.
I too am feeling the difficulty of truly listening to my body and honouring what it is that it truly would like and needs. And the amount that it wants and needs too. I am finding that I don’t need to eat very much to feel full these days but more often than not I continue to eat. I was having a meal the other evening and the taste sensation of the first few mouth fulls were heavenly ~ so tastey so delicious and so heightened in texture and taste. I was amazed and just how incredible they tasted. I ate three of four bites and was totally 100 % satisfied and to say the least pleasured, extremely pleasured. This might sound funny, after only 3 or four bites, but I got the feeling I was full. I most likely ate quite a lot this day in the morning. I stopped and felt into having only had three bites and said to myself ‘there is no way I’m full from three bites’ and continued to eat the rest of my meal. The taste sensation went, the food became almost tasteless and could only feel the texture. Compared to what I had just experienced it was bland, lifeless, tasteless.
How can this of happened when it was the same meal? How could one moment the meal be the most incredible tasting dish on the planet and then the next moments it be horrible and bland?
What went on here?
What went on was that I over rode my feelings. I disconnected from how I was feeling and in that disconnection lost all sensation. This made me understand that I have been living my life in disconnection because how can I say that I am connected when the pleasure that comes from my body when I am truly honouring what I feel to eat and the amount that I choose to eat is so rich.
Natasha I can relate to this feeling of disconnection. Sometimes I am satisfied with very little food but I override the feeling thinking I won’t be able to eat for many hours, or I’ll be too lazy to prepare another meal so I try to kill 2 meals in one go. How absurd. Why fill up my stomach when it is telling me it is satisfied. I do not live in a state of scarcity so what am I afraid of, what is this telling me? A lot for me to ponder.
As you say Janina Koch, there is another way to go about food. Instead of using food to numb myself, as I did in the past, and in a way sometime still do, because it is the energy we are in that dictates how and what we eat and how this affects our wellbeing and vitality in life, I am now choosing to build a new relation with food, a relation that supports me in being the beautiful and tender man I naturally am and to not numb it away by the way I eat and the food I choose to eat.
Good point Brendan!
I can relate to what you say here Janina, this is a great reminder as I have been overeating on nuts and salty foods – time to look deeper at what feelings are hiding there. As you say ‘there is a different way to be.’
Janina food is such a hot topic isn’t it? I will often use food to reward, distract or even numb myself if there is something going on that I am challenged with. The key for me is to slow down, feel what to eat and to be prepared. It all makes a huge difference to how lovely I feel in my body.
I’d love to see this line “To eat when I am not hungry, or to override feelings of being tired with food, is a way of harming myself deeply”….on a billboard on a major highway/intersection and then see what reactions come from that. It would be a much needed conversation starter about what is truly going on.
Wow Sarah
That would be such a powerful message ✨
Yes Sarah, I agree, this is a conversation that all of humanity needs to be a part of.
There are many ideals and beliefs around food which keep us eating more and eating things which are not really supportive to our body. But the body speaks loud. The question is: why are we not listening?
Treating the body with love, preciousness and respect eventually does whittle down the foods we are prepared to eat that we know are going to numb what we love to have – awareness. It is a constant and ongoing refinement for me, and that’s fine – as long as I remain honest about the choices I make and understand the result that eating certain food will have on my body and therefore my connection to myself.
An absolutely inspiring article Janina, I particularly like when you said:
“So now, it’s about starting a new relationship with food and myself. It’s in the way I deal with food, in the way I prepare and eat it – and in what I choose to eat to actually nourish my body. Now, I can start to treat my body with love, preciousness and respect.”
I am starting to build a new relationship with food when I prepare it, bringing more presence to what I’m doing and making it an expression of me – rather than quickly throwing something together, out of a necessity to eat, in a functional but disconnected manner.
Gosh Janina this is so important, I am glad you have shared this. You are bringing a new perspective to the word abuse. So often we can be abusing ourselves and not be aware or be dishonest about it because it seems small or normal. This is definitely a work in progress for me, as I don’t always like to be honest about how I abuse myself in the way you have described.
That is awesome, so well shared. I think every persons body would need to go through it’s own process of finding what foods work for them and what foods don’t and it’s all about bringing in that honesty and then starting the process!
What a great post, yes Janina, most of us don’t want to see or acknowledge that things like over eating, or eating foods that make us feel heavy, is actually abusive, or is us in self-abuse. And that eating in a self-abusing way, dulls our awareness and our ability to feel. But not feel or be aware of what exactly is the question?! So what I take from your post is that there is a very distinct relationship between food and our awareness – that it can either abuse or nourish this, and us.
Yes this is important to understand Zofia: “what I take from your post is that there is a very distinct relationship between food and our awareness” – so the way we eat can support us to feel and become more aware what is going on in our life or it can stop and delay us.
It’s amazing how we choose to numb ourselves with food, when we simply don’t want to be with us and our stuff.
Thank you Janina for this beautiful blog :o)
Thank you Janina, food as a way to treat your body, as you say “with love, preciousness and respect.” Brings a whole new perspective to eating. I really appreciate the reminder!
Wonderful blog Janina, I’m still building this relationship with food – your blog is words of encouragement!
Yes Mary ” No food in this world is more yummy than feeling delicious me”; 16 months after writing this blog have embodied this to a deeper level. When I choose the connection to me as my main focus and priority – food looses its importance. If I let myself go and indulge and numb with food not to feel me and what is going on, food becomes my main focus and priority. This feels so very awful because this is not ME anymore, and an anxiousness and nervous tension takes over and takes me away from my essence.
It is important to look at our relationship with food to understand what lies underneath the fact that I need food to keep me going, to reward or numb.
What I have nominated recently is that I did not feel safe in this world and afraid and powerless towards the terrible things which we have to face in our society. This was the way I have lived for a long long time. This has stopped me feeling and appreciate my own love and power.
The moment we commit to be the amazingness and beauty that we are, food becomes second best.
This is a very relevant article for me. I am aware that eating too many nuts is nuts and shows me that I wanting a reward or comfort. Your sentence “No food in this world is more yummy than feeling delicious me!” is very inspiring and one I will remember when I find myself wanting a nutty treat.
I continue to be amazed by how so many are affected by their relationship with food. I thought it was just me. But with an activity we have to do several times every day and with the plethora of offerings available to entice us down a path of socially acceptable ‘abuse’, I suppose it’s a ripe playground for dysfunctionality. You highlight the difference between that mild form of abuse and true nurturing and the challenges in getting it right. Whether it’s nuts or soya simulations, we can delude ourselves that we’re making healthy changes when in fact we’re just using them as surrogates, masking that same behaviour we enacted before. Our relationship with food requires utmost dedication and an ability to listen deeply to the feedback our body gives us on hunger and satiety. It’s a life’s work.
This is a great point you are making Cathy.
“Whether it’s nuts or soya simulations, we can delude ourselves that we’re making healthy changes when in fact we’re just using them as surrogates, masking that same behaviour we enacted before”.
Yesterday after a team meeting – I went to get a slice of apple, and in college, I went to get a biscuit. I could feel that this was exactly the same thing in both, wanting something sweet.
You are so right Janina when we used food to numb our feelings or to compensate for being exhausted how we dull the natural vibrancy and light inside. If I am having an “off day” and have lost connection to myself I can still feel hungry even though I am full… I realise I am hungry for “myself” and this manifests in the physical body by not feeling full. In those moments if I do take time to stop and reconnect the feeling of being hungry magically goes.
Great to re-visit your blog Janina much to ponder for me and feel into deeper.
Taking time to prepare food lovingly and with great care makes such a difference to the enjoyment of a meal.
Food choices can feel like a bit of a minefield sometimes, because of the seemingly constant changes about what I feel is good to eat or not – but no matter what, I still have to eat! So I need to keep checking it and tweaking it, and to go with what feels truly right. Sometimes I can still overeat when I’m not feeling into what I’m eating. Nothing I’ve read sums it better than, “no food in this world is more yummy than feeling the delicious me.” Thank you Janina, I will remember that.
Reading this this time around I felt a very solid ‘yes I know this to be true’ – a great marker for myself in that my relationship with food has changed recently and is something I can sit here and appreciate. Removing the foods that very obviously upset my body was hard at first, but now it is normal to not eat them; my next step, like you have shared, is the how, when and why I eat what I eat. What feelings am I trying to crush when I do overeat or eat the wrong foods? because that lovely feeling of me also suffers and gets squashed, even though it is that lovely feeling that I want to return to…
Beautiful comment Leigh; spot on, your last line: “What feelings am I trying to crush when I do overeat or eat the wrong foods? because that lovely feeling of me also suffers and gets squashed, even though it is that lovely feeling that I want to return to…”
Lovely to read your blog again Janina – a great inspiration for me as I am still working with overeating and using food as a reward at times.
I can never hear or read enough about our relationship with food. This is an area that can forever trip me up and the relationship is one that can also forever be taken to a deeper more loving level. There are loads of diets out there and most people feel uncomfortable talking about their food habits so a great blog for everyone.
Beautiful, Michelle. Your comment captures a key-part for me; When I disconnect from my body and what I truly feel it needs, I can end up eating in a very unloving way – either this means over-eating, eating when not truly hungry, eating quickly, or eating the wrong foods for that moment… all of this further numbs me from what I am feeling – for example, overwhelm, nervous tension, or sadness, (or also my loveliness, beauty, or joy when I deny this as being too good to be true) – and this keeps me in the cycle of self-loathing – when all I have to do is stop and re-connect, which is actually becoming very simple these days. 😉
I’m experiencing that deepening my self-love is helping to automatically discard these habits that do not support me, and to live in celebration of my own preciousness . Thank you Michelle, and Janina for the inspiration and support in this.
“….as it is normal for us to abuse ourselves with drink or food. Most people do it.”
This is huge. Is it not time for us to ask ourselves why self abuse with food is society’s accepted norm, covered up by calling it binge eating or over eating?
Hi Janina, thank you for your deeply inspiring blog about your relationship with food. A topic very relevant to me for I have used food as a reward, to keep me going, to numb myself to not feel how much I felt during the day/how sensitive I am and that some things hurt. Most of these I let go off. There is one thing that is still very challenging for me: I can use food to consciously sabotage myself. When things are going very well, are flowing, are simple and there are no issues I create an issue for myself by eating food I don’t want/need to eat. And then have a reason to be hard on myself. I get more and more awareness on this behaviour and start to accept that I don’t have issues and I am worthy of a loving and simple life.
Hi Janina, I have been pondering on my relationship with food lately and why I overeat, because immediately I feel like I have a heavy bag of potatoes on my back when I eat too much. So I agree with you especially when I read: ‘To eat when I am not hungry, or to override feelings of being tired with food, is a way of harming myself deeply’. Lately, I am finding I need less food, but still give into temptation, and is something I am working on in order to let go of all my beliefs and comfort around food.
Thanks for the reminder to reconnect to our yummy selves. I have been choosing to connect to myself before I eat and breathe between bites, focusing on every aspect of my food. Thank you Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for inspiring me to make changes in my life.
Awesome. I’ve also experienced this way to be when eating and it feels so much more like the true me. When I catch myself not giving that space I actually know that another energy is running my body in an old still familiar pattern.
It’s time to let that go completely and claim my true way to be in full. Thank you for your confirming comment Ken.
I realized that when I use nuts as a filler and not eat them lovingly it brings a nervous energy in, which keeps me going when I am actually feeling tired. Also that I have used food like this either to stimulate or to dull on long working days and not taking loving care to look at how I can work in a rhythm which is not draining and exhausting myself.
Thanks for this inspiring blog Janina. I can relate to a lot of what you say, especially the nuts. It’s very easy to fall back into those indulgent patterns so this is a timely reminder to listen to what our bodies are saying and increase our awareness if we start to pull for foods that don’t truly support us.
Why we eat what we eat is such a vast subject and you have brought an awareness to this subject with much to consider. Thank you, Janina.
This line says it all:
“No food in this world is more yummy than feeling the delicious me!”
How simply true!
I am certainly on the same path of really looking at how food and my body work. There is a fine line of indulgence that I can bring into eating to not feel what’s going on and I’m a pro at substituting. No more coffee but much more salt 😉
It’s great to hear you’re looking behind the cravings – as am I. A journey indeed!
Janina, I came to this blog and it’s perfect and a big reflection to me right now. Food has been my medicine and can still be when I allow it, and I can feel it’s something for me to look more deeply at, as when things gets stressed I can still binge on food, healthy food, not over-eating much but still over-eating. But I know and can feel that no matter how much, it’s taking me away from me, and from feeling what is really going on around me in the world. So a good reminder to keep exploring and being honest about how I use food.
Even I wrote this blog over a year ago and I could feel this truthfully in my body with what I wrote – I still did not really change my relationship with food. It is important to look at our relationship with food, really it is not about the food but the way I choose to live and how much responsibility I am ready to take.
Do I allow myself to live lovingly and to be open to love and let love in on a deeper level? To hold myself back from loving hurts, and this hurt needs to be numbed and food is an easy way – but really it doesn’t work, the hurt doesn’t go away, as it adds more hurt to treat myself in disregard with overeating.
I realized that the hurt under my strong tendency to numb myself (daily) with food was the fact that I kept myself away from love.
Janina, thank you for deepening this, indeed it hurts to feel the hurt of not being love and yes food can numb this, but it doesn’t work – not ultimately. I love how you’ve uncovered what was the true hurt, rather than staying with the symptoms and reactions with which food are. I’m asking myself right now – what hurts so much that I have to hurt myself by over-eating?
I relate to what you say, Monica. Bingeing on healthy food looks very much like bingeing on other food as the energy behind it is feels the same.
Yes Maryline, I too am finding this that the energy is the same no matter what we are bingeing on. I also liken the feeling of bingeing on food to that of a drug addiction, maybe less harmful on our bodies but the energy feels similar.
Janina, This caught my attention:
“No food in this world is more yummy than feeling delicious me!”
I and SO many others have been terrified to look at our relationship to food…For me, it was a fear that all that comfort and niceness would have to go… but now I know that looking at it with honesty can bring the true yumminess we are missing back into our lives!
Now I know that, “No food in this world is more yummy than feeling delicious me!”
Beautiful blog Janina. I can say that until recently I always had issues with food. I have never been overweight and I was certainly underweight as a child and young teenager. But it is not about weight for me it is that I had always the tendency to overeat, even when I was not particularly hungry – as a habit (my parents always force fed me as a young child). It took me 6 years (with the support of Universal Medicine) to cut that habit. I now feel that I need far less food and I feel what I eat, listening to what my body has to say about it.
Feeding habits change continually and it is like a barometer: the more love, stillness, harmony and joy I have in my body the less food you need and the more “appropriate” food for my body to enjoy.
Thank you for a very thought provoking blog.
Such an awesome point about how we use food as a reward even if we are not hungry. Thank you for sharing.
An absolutely brilliant blog, one that I can relate to very strongly. Even though I have changed my diet and when asked why I changed I say ”It doesn’t agree with my body” my relationship with food has only started to change. I love your quote at the start “No food in this world is more yummy than feeling delicious me!” and I feel inspired to look deeper into my relationship with food. When I actually pause and feel what to eat I feel even more yummy as I haven’t weighed myself down and have allowed myself to eat what I wanted to keep that awesome feeling.
Thank you Janina, food is such an issue for so many with all the tempting tasty treats out there but as you say the why of eating and the affects on our bodies have to be considered. I used to eat without considering what happened to my body after the 10 seconds the food was in my mouth, being oblivious to the feelings from my body over the next 24 hours as my body was having to deal with the substances I was choosing to consume. No wonder I felt so tired all the time as a lot of energy was being used by my digestive system.
“To eat when I am not hungry, or to override feelings of being tired with food, is a way of harming myself deeply.”
A great point to consider deeply.
Janina, I absolutely agree with all you have shared. I have been so ‘tricky’ with myself as I have made food changes over the years as I have learnt it is not always simply removing a food that is key, as quite often it is replaced with something else which would appear to be ‘healthy’ Eg. no more sugar, but more fruit or lovely slow roasted vegetables which become very sweet. All very clever and leaves it a bit longer till I take responsibility and look at what’s really go on in my body. Thank you. 🙂
Thanks for your beautiful blog Janina… Like the others I can definitely associate the previous way I overrode what my body was attempting to tell me, choosing instead to use food to numb feelings and not claim me. Like Rod, I enjoyed and felt the truth in your statement “I choose to eat to actually nourish my body”. This is not only a healing act but a choice that brings many blessings including feeling more of your truth, increased energetic clarity and increased vitality… Loved all of your blog as it inspires us all to remember as you beautifully stated it… “No food in this world is more yummy than feeling delicious me!”.
Hi Janina, I enjoyed your blog and I really really relate to your comments about your adventures with food. I liked your meaningful words: “I choose to eat to actually nourish my body”.
Wow… I could so relate to your blog Janina. You just nominated so clearly the patterns of how we can sabotage that amazing loving connection one can develop with oneself, then so quickly disconnect it with food choices. This is something I am acutely aware of at the moment. It is like I feel amazing, then I say, “how can I possibly feel this amazing?!” and eat accordingly to not feel that. Your line “To eat when I am not hungry, or to override feelings of being tired with food, is a way of harming myself deeply” – this is so true and I can feel how much this harms not only ourselves but all others as well, based on how it can impact on our moods and way of being with people. Thank you for your wonderful blog, much food for thought… pun intended. 🙂
Thank you! A really timely confirmation of the need to listen to my body and re-evaluate my relationship with food as I have noticed I have allowed some overeating again recently… it makes me feel so heavy and does destroy my connection to self… so foolish! It IS abusive!
Because food is a basic necessity of life and we have taken on so many of the cultural and family ways of eating since birth, our responses are usually on automatic drive until we start truly connecting to what is going on for us around food.
Food also has a ‘siren call’. So much effort is put into creating ‘visually, aromatically and taste-bud tantalising’ dishes to tempt us all to eat to satisfy the taste-buds, but not support the body with the nutrition it truly needs.
I have found it easy to leave a lot of the unsupportive and unloving habits behind me, however I know food still has me in its thrall. Everyone knows chocolate is not a food, yet it wasn’t until I saw I was using it to ‘sweeten my view of life’ that I was able to let it go. I still have a way to go with developing a true relationship with food, but I know my body is there guiding me and letting me know the quality of my food choices from how it feels afterwards. This blog has helped me see it’s time to look even more closely at what is going on for me around food… Thanks, Janina.
Food is such a huge way in which we can undermine ourselves. In society we hold a belief that celebrating involves over eating and drinking, yet from my experience these are two things that hinder my ability to celebrate and love myself. Food can be a huge support to our body or very detrimental, it just depends on how we choose to use it.
Yes Toni, I too feel that we can have a relationship with food where it is used to deeply nourish ourselves so our bodies can hold more love, or on the the other hand can be used as a drug for checking out, numbing and not dealing with what needs to be dealt with. This comes down to our choice how we use it.
Thank you Janina for your inspiring blog regarding the relationship to food. I can relate to everything you express here. My mind certainly still tricks me… then I numb out from feeling my body. With coming back to more stillness within, there is more awareness to listen to the wisdom of my body and make different choices. As your last paragraph says so beautifully – “it’s about starting a new relationship with food and myself. It’s in the way I deal with food, in the way I prepare and eat it – and in what I choose to eat to actually nourish my body. Now, I can start to treat my body with love, preciousness and respect.”
Thank you Janina. I could totally relate to all you have shared. The mind can be very tricky in how we can end up replacing certain behaviours or solutions with other ones. They may appear to be healthier or better for us but if the reason for doing that has not changed then the issue of why we are doing that, has not been dealt with. I find myself slipping or falling for this occasionally but also like you I am redeveloping my relationship with food. The big thing for me is how I am preparing and eating the supportive food I choose for myself. I find if I bring it back to this, then it is about supporting the divine-ness of me and the body I am expressing with. Allowing a more fuller expression of me with others.
Perfect timing Janina as my taste buds have been way out of control lately and my eyes way too big for my stomach!! Huge reminder that we can eat to abuse our bodies for whatever reason, and override/ignore the heaviness/discomfort that food choice brings.
This is the BOMB and says it ALL!!
“To stuff myself by eating too much, and with heavy food, destroys the lovely connection I am building with myself. It’s a way of giving up and letting an energy rule me which is not loving, destroying the tender loving me that I am.”
Thank you so much for the timely reminder. 😊
What a deliciously, yummy blog that exposes how abusive we can be with food and like you say Janina, is super important.
I will definitely be using your beautiful, loving quote as a reminder when I am tempted to use food to not feel me that – “No food in the world is more yummy than feeling delicious me!”.