334 thoughts on “Self-Abusing – Not What you Think it Is”

1. Self abuse comes in all sorts of flavours and it does not matter which flavour we use it is still self abuse. We can easily tell ourselves that something is good for us but the only true marker as to whether it is or is not is our beautiful and loyal body.

2. I can so relate to what you say here about wasting money on yourself.. I used to feel exactly the same, and then went completely the other way – on a big splurge to make up for everything I hadn’t bought myself that I’d needed – and now coming to somewhere in between; spending money on myself to keep everything not just basically functioning but lovingly cared for, nothing more and nothing less.

3. My understanding of abuse has also greatly shifted. I too used to believe it just meant physical contact. But now I see abuse almost everywhere all of the time and it reminds me why I was so comfortable believing it was isolated to just physical abuse. The world is thick with abuse, from corruption to advertising to emotional, to our self esteem, or lack there of. The world is not all bad of course, but bringing attention to the reasons why our world is not where it could be is a step toward undestanding how we can change things, and it always starts with our relationship with ourselves.

4. We may sometimes look outside ourselves and see the abuse that occurs in the world but if we look a our own lives with honesty we begin to connect and feel the different pockets of abuse that we in turn inflict upon ourselves. The more we appreciate how much our movements in responsibility shift our lives as a whole we then become aware of the other smaller and more tricky pockets of abuse that we allow to seep in. Once we begin to plug the holes of abuse within our own lives we begin to see the world with a greater understanding and honesty of how and why things happen and how our responsibility to move and express in certain ways can actually affect the world as a whole too.

5. ‘That hidden self abuse’ that is no longer hidden the moment when we choose to feel the consequences to what we are doing with our body. I still can choose to not be aware but in the end my body will be very clear in its message so I can no longer ignore and my level of self care needs adjusting to what I feel and honour the preciousness of my body.

6. I can easily relate to your list of self-abusing ways Rosie, as most of them were mine too, except I didn’t vomit after drinking two glasses of wine, my nose would start running and wouldn’t stop. Regularly I would wake up in the morning feeling totally miserable with the floor next to my bed covered in tissues. I knew there was a problem but that’s as far as I got as I didn’t want to give up drinking, convincing myself that it was just that particular brand of wine and next time it mightn’t happen. What a huge illusion I created to not stop doing something that was obviously harming me; where’s the common sense in that? Not for one minute did I consider that treating my body this way, and repeatedly ignoring its messages, to be self-abuse – but it is and that we cannot deny forever without serious consequences to our precious bodies.

   1. Ha, you have reminded me of how I used to just eat foods that would contribute more to my sinus problems… and instead of realising I had an issue with the food I was choosing, I just blamed it on my sinuses! It is so important to figure out the cause and not just the effect.

7. The more I self-care the more refined ‘abuse’ is. Like yesterday I knew something was disturbing me as I was eating green bean chips (dried, salted green beans) – a ‘healthy’ snack but I still felt like something wasn’t being addressed!

   1. I can get quite into salty snacks, even so called healthy ones, but they are not really healthy for me as I have noticed that when I do eat them, I feel quite crappy and reactive after.

8. Thank you Rosie for these clear markers and reminders of where self-bashing can so easily be part of our day and cause inner tension and self inflicted discomfort. Once the awareness is in the body, it is easier to catch them and change the movement.

9. In the past I would think there would be person who would ‘just be’ abusive towards others and I never really gave it much more of a thought but since attending Universal Medicine’s courses I have become much more aware of the fact that abuse starts with ourselves in the most subtle levels like you have explained so well Rosie. We complain about the obvious but don’t consider talking ourselves down is a problem even though it is and it is the one we can easily start with.

   1. When we start with how we talk to ourselves, we then can get to the point where we won’t allow it from others. We have to be aware of it in the first place and for years I wasn’t.

10. There are many subtle layers to self-abuse = it’s basically anything that is not done in truth and in response to our evolution.

11. ‘…and wearing clothes that were uncomfortable all day long, as if I didn’t think I had the choice to change what I was wearing.’ I had to laugh as I know this one so well, it goes from wearing uncomfortable clothes to clothes that were not comfortable for the type of weather and also to wearing shoes that were to small and made my feet very painful and although I felt this I made the way I looked more important than how my body felt. Nowadays when I become aware of one of these i change my clothes and or shoes, or put on an extra layer to keep me warm.

    1. Yes I know this well, and yesterday when putting my shoes on, I felt the smallest bit of stone or grit in my shoe. In the past I would of just carried on regardless and hoped it would move as I started walking, but yesterday I did the laces, cleaned out the shoe and put it on clean and comfortable. It felt so lovely to do something so simple for myself purely because I know how many times I have just over ridden my own needs or comfort.

12. This is something that recently came to my awareness as well Rosie, that is how do I abuse myself. And it might not be massive things but what I realised was not honouring what I feel or loving me is abuse. Is me abusing me.

    1. We are our worst abusers! We need to really stop the way we speak to ourselves and the way we can at times put ourselves at the bottom of the list. Or at least I know I need to!

13. The more I truly love myself and embody that, the less likely I will choose that for myself and therefore, the less abuse I receive from others.

14. I too used to abuse my body, but at the time thought I was being healthy, I would exercise regularly, but to extreme levels, and totally disregarding how my body felt, thinking more was better. My body was wise, and after many years of ignoring and over riding its many messages I now have to listen to it, which is a blessing in disguise. In fact I love how my body feels when I fully honour and respect it.

15. We are ever evolving back to who we truly are, and so these loving steps you brought into your life back in 2013 have I suspect evolved even further now.

    1. You are so right! They were just the beginning!

16. Like so many other things, Universal Medicine has redefined abuse for me and as a result I’ve changed my relationship with it too. Now I know it’s not only something extreme, happening ‘over there’ to ‘someone else’, it’s something I’ve done, 100 and 1000s of times in my daily life to myself and others, simply because I’d normalised it and not seen it for what it was.

    1. It is very important to look at what we have ‘normalized’ as it is in this area that so much goes under the radar and can be really damaging to ourselves and others, with no awareness at all.

17. We can be really self-critical and berate ourselves over many things, from eating things we know don’t support us to criticising ourselves in front of the mirror, and what we are doing is actually self-abusing ourselves. Abuse comes in many forms and there is no need to self-abuse or abuse another, therefore we need to change the patterns we have that make us self-critical.

    1. The more self critical we are, the more we will critique another. So if we catch ourselves doing that, we know there is still more to appreciate and accept rather than pull apart and abuse.

18. Every moment of not treating ourselves as the tender and precious beings that we are can be called self-abuse.

19. I also have esoteric massages and Esoteric Chakra Puncture. I just had a chakra puncture session at the week-end which released an old and deeply ingrained configuration in my body. I had felt my abdomen really tight and tense for a whole day, and I could feel something was definitely bubbling to the surface to be cleared. I always find esoteric chakra puncture an amazing modality to clear old energetic imprints that get stuck in our body, and afterwards my abdomen was able to relax again.

20. I was away for the week-end, and decided to visit a favourite place I used to eat at and knew they would still have my favourite raw choc chia cake (gluten, diary and sugar free) which of course I had to taste while I was there, right? Immediately afterwards I felt irritated and was left feeling I wanted more. And I did suffer much later. In the wee hours of the morning my left calf had super painful cramps and no surprise really because every time I eat ‘sweet’ now even if it is ‘free from’, I always get cramps. So for me it is really simple, my body is telling me loud and clear that it no longer needs this.

    1. Yes, I know the feeling.. when I eat certain foods I get really blocked up in my nose and bloated in my tummy and its not nice!

21. I used to have this thing about not taking any tablets, so I too used to suffer through headaches, feeling I was showing how tough and brave I was. Not any more. Even though I don’t often get headaches, I have some painkillers in my bag just in case.

    1. I had to laugh at myself as I read your comment and remembered how solid and adamant I was about not taking medication, as I had this belief it was bad for you…. yet I thought drinking alcohol was okay! How wrong was I. I love the support that medicine can bring these days as I am proud to say I haven’t had a drop of alcohol for over 7 years now.

       1. That’s so funny Rosie, I was exactly the same. My friend use to call this way of being the ‘hippycrit’. It just shows you that lies have their own truth they guard over, which is totally void of true truth.

       2. Isn’t it interesting how we choose to join up in a sense, or be part of a group that has similar thinking, and then we feel that it is okay because others are doing it or believe it but more often than not we don’t really question it. So we become part of the lie and we live it blindly.

       3. Absolutely, comfort is a very attractive energy many of us fall for.

22. The more love we allow in our bodies, the more we feel the subtlety of what abuse is.

    1. And what I was once numb to, now stands out so clearly its like there is an elephant in the room.

       1. I hear that one Rosie, especially when the last ruminates are at the surface for us to feel and clear.

    2. So very true Kim. For a long time I could not feel the abuse I was doing to my body, but these days my body speaks loud and clearly when I go into this old habit, and I do listen. Always a work in progress.

23. I’ve noticed how the more I care for myself the more I feel what is abusive, such as having ugly thoughts about another or myself, or my tone of voice or even how I walk can be self-abusive. It can appear strange or extreme to others but it feels normal in my body to claim that these everyday movements can be abusive our loving and abuse is not limited to violence or substance abuse.

    1. Totally, that is it… we need to be aware of the abuse, no matter how small or irrelevant it is… because abuse is abuse no matter what size it is and it has an effect regardless.

       1. Yes there is no need to compare because we are all at own level of awareness and what is harming to one may not affect another at that is fine, as it is just where they are at.

24. It is good to stop and see what we have accepted as normal or as our fate in relation to treatment of ourselves. Sometimes it takes seeing someone else living life in a vital love filled way to remind us of how life is supposed to be.

    1. I have often seen someone living life in full and loving it and reacted to them, been jealous of them but now I see it as a great reflection, a reminder that I can have that too and perhaps I just haven’t been making the choices that will lead that way. I also think to myself, well if they can do it, so can I…. and ask myself, okay what next then?

25. This is so true Rosie – we can even make self abuse look appealing – look at how fit this body is, look at how ‘good’ or generous or benevolent I can be, look at how much I can do etc. etc. etc.
    We can hide our self abuse from others, and even deny it to ourselves – but the truth is that any time we go against what our body is communicating to us, we are in abuse, and our body will ultimately show us this.

    1. Ah I love your response Kylie, because you have just hit the nail on the head for another way that I self abuse….. look at how much I can do!!! BANG! Love when another thing gets brought to my attention. I mean, I already know it.. but yes, I needed to be reminded. Thank you.

26. I love what you share here Rosie about the self-abuse we live with and often don’t address. For me the key has been in deepening the relationship with myself and learning to appreciate myself and the many qualities I bring and then the attack towards myself began to naturally drop away. There are times when I slip back into self-abuse and for me it is usually with my choices around food and it is interesting when I make this choice how the quality of my thoughts and movements are affected.

27. I also used to think abuse was only just physical and no more than that. Abuse is so much more than this when you take into account the quality of living one is essentially choosing. Holding back from saying or doing something one knows is true for example may not have any obvious physical consequences but it does have a massive impact on ones overall quality of well being

28. I am starting to see abuse on a whole new level. What you illustrate here is what we can change in our lives, no matter what our circumstances or who is around us. We can change those things and from my experience there is no end to the love we can offer ourselves by not presuming we have no self-abuse but to see if there is more love available that we were not previously aware of.

29. This comment helps me to see how abusive it is to hold judgments against ourselves. You remind me to simply observe my choices and their consequences with love.

    1. Judgements can be crippling… but calling out what is can be life changing… it is important to state the facts and be aware of what is…. but then not to go into any self bashing or such crazy behaviours have been quite normal for many of us.

30. This was such an enjoyable read Rosie. I especially love the way you describe your new relationship with exercise. It’s eye opening to see that even lying in bed can be abuse if our body needs something else.

31. Beautiful truths, written here. When I read them I actually know them and recognize them too in my life. The crazything is that I once could not have my mind to think of this being possible self-abusive ways, but since I become more loving in my daily manners and make effort to self connect everyday – the awareness of self-abuse stand more out – even in the slightests ways. A very obvious truth now.. And the more love i choose the more love we are (live) and will see that certain behaviors are no longer serving or have never truly served us in the first place.

32. Abuse does come in many forms, and the more I learn and pay attention to what is and what is not abuse, I am seeing more and more the extent of what abuse really is.

33. Yes being honest with oneself is the first step in understanding if one is abusing. I know for me there was an enormous amount of self critique and abuse when growing up and as a young adult. This has changed completely now and there being many reasons why – but the key is what you ended with “I used to think that abuse only came from others, but I now take responsibility for the abuse that I was doing to myself: that hidden self-abusing that I was unaware of for so long.”

34. Being honest is the key here Adele, and for me I am always using myself as a test and trying this or that. I have been feeling sad about giving our lovely dog away, only because she loves people and cry’s all day while I work….. so after a year of that happening I finally chose to re home her. Since that, all I have wanted is comfort foods and I know why and that is okay, it is where I am at. For me, the important thing is to be honest… as in, why am I choosing that. What is actually going on?

35. ‘I used to think that abuse only came from others, but I now take responsibility for the abuse that I was doing to myself: that hidden self-abusing that I was unaware of for so long’.   When we come to realise that the most abusive person in our lives is ourselves as in what we do to ourselves in all the ways you have described in this blog Rosie, a transformation can begin with the realisation that we can a different choice, and that is to self-care and self-love.

36. Thank you Rosie, this is revolutionary simply because you give us insight to what we might once had seen as normal, whilst actually showing that there is another way, and so that this ‘normal’ is not so normal at all, but actually abusive.

37. Compromising our true nature in order to protect that which we find valuable is in truth abuse, as it is only when we get to be all of who we are with no holding back that we are free of the illusion we live in.

38. Making the choices you have made to finally care for your body after “abusing” it for so long is very inspirational Rosie, but in fact these ought to be choices that we consider to be normal and naturally make every day. Instead the majority of humanity live in a way that ticks everything on the “self-abuse” list, but sadly don’t consider living this way to be abusive; I never did but now I realise that was simply a self-perpetuating illusion.

    1. My normal is always changing as do I. And the more that I live that, the more I can inspire others around me… and hopefully in doing this, we will all start cracking some of the illusions that our brothers and sisters get caught in.

39. Thanks Rosie, this is a great topic. In the same way we don’t consider self love we don’t consider self abuse. We live in a kind of grey zone and until self love enters self abuse may not be highlighted. Strange that we make love or abuse what we do to others or have done to us. Meanwhile our own love goes untapped meaning we live and make choices that are not loving for ourselves. I have recently been coming back to the analogy of how I would treat a precious baby and using that as a guide to how much care I can actually take with myself.

    1. Isn’t it amazing how much care we would offer and care or consider for a baby yet we actually have to work on trying to bring that to ourselves…. really should be the other way round…. natural to be this caring with ourselves, and therefore easy to share that with others.

40. Yes, and it is always changing as we develop more self love.

41. And whilst we compare to another, we actually just limit ourselves as where we can go to, what we can feel and what we can heal. Another’s limit and life story is not ours. When we compare we get caught up in pictures of how I should be or I am doing great compared to so and so or even compared to where I was a year ago, we are just putting a lid on our own potential or dimming the light switch so we can’t see.

42. We use food as a way to attack our own awareness so we continue living being irresponsible at the expense of our bodies in the indulgences and ignorance that just keep us living less than the magnificence of who we truly are.

    1. Very true Francisco, it’s not a game we are playing with, it is our bodies and each time we are irresponsible with our food choices, we do eventually pay the price for it. You only have to look at the health and shape of most of society today to see the damaging effects of such choices.

43. Rosie the list of self abusive things you did is pretty similar to mine! Particularly when it came to spending money on me- I would do the same thing and avoid the dentist because people don’t see that from the outside but they will see new clothes. But in that I am not truly caring for myself from the inside first.

    1. I wouldn’t go to the dentist because I just never valued looking after my teeth and never realised how much my dental health affected my overall health but what you share makes sense too. How common is it to worry about what the car or house looks like on the outside, yet have a complete mess on the inside.

44. I used to pride myself on not going to the doctors. When I get ill I still tend to see it as an inconvenience to my life that stops me getting on with all the things I have to do. These day I have a different perspective and have regular check ups with my doctor. When I get ill I don’t try and keep working but allow myself time to rest and get well again.

    1. I recently recommended to a friend to go to the doctors and they were resisting it as they don’t like them etc… but when they did go, they found out that they no longer needed the medications and since then don’t feel dizzy and sick so you see, it was a good thing to go… and it always is because it is such a loving thing to do for ourselves. To care for ourselves and to stay informed of what is happening within our bodies and from there, you can make informed choices, not just I don’t want to know or care kind of choices.

45. Just recently I have been taking a closer look at my diet and realised by hanging onto something which I had clocked many times has been causing sinus problems was abusive, but underneath a sense of stubbornness revealed itself.

46. A wise friend said to me that running with self-doubting or bashing thoughts is like buying junk food – it was a great analogy and I could totally relate to it and how being discerning of how we are thinking is important!

    1. That is a great analogy! Thanks for sharing. We can so no to junk food but how often do we just allow those self doubting thoughts!

47. From self abuse to self love – such an inspirational journey, and one that I have taken too. I ticked nearly all the self abusive habits on your list Rosie and I am sure that I could add a few more. In the past I would never had considered that I was abusing myself; but abuse it was and there’s no escaping from that fact..

48. ‘I actually thought I was “loving” myself by abusing myself’. Oh yes, I know that feeling and the shock when we wake up and realise how abusive it really was!

49. Yes it is not just the obvious things like hitting someone or calling someone names that is abusive our whole way of living can be abusive just because we don’t take deep care for ourselves. This is seen as normal in society and I often feel this pressure to not care for myself in the way I am used to but it is important to observe this I found and to choose to feel the delicacy and tenderness of my body and the need to deeply care for that. I just learned about the anatomy of the body today and saw a picture of our kidneys in our bodies and how small and fragile they look, it is in that moment I felt deep inspiration to handle myself very delicately.

    1. I feel that everyone should learn Anatomy as having a greater understanding of our body is really important when it comes to caring for it. The more understanding we have, the more it makes sense to look after it as best as you can.

50. Thank you for sharing your insightful revelations regarding your relationship and understanding of self-abuse. I thought I was doing OK but clearly OK simply doesn’t cut it – there is always much more than we think!

51. This is so true James, if we don’t take responsibility for our stuff and we bring it home and are needy and expect another to fix things for us and make it all better, that is so imposing and draining for them and abusive to the relationship.

    1. Yet the crazy thing is it seems to be common place that behind closed doors we ‘think’ we can do whatever we want and get away with it. How is this being love? The true joy in a relationship is found when both parties deeply commit to love within themselves and then share it – anything less comes with needs and attachments and can be felt. After all how can we cherish our partner or friend if we 1st do not cherish ourselves?

       1. Is we don’t cherish ourselves, we cannot cherish another, and the more we do, the more we can cherish others and it does rub off on them so it is a win win for everyone.
          It is common place that behind closed doors we “think” we can do whatever and this doesn’t only apply with our partners, but with our children also.

52. Rosie you have highlighted that it is the ‘subtle’ forms of self abuse that are actually the most insidious, why? because the less obvious the more likely we will continue doing it.

53. I was in a class yesterday and we talked about how we would not allow someone to urinate in the corner of the room, yet we do allow people to walk in a way or have abusive thoughts in the same room we are in. Having these thoughts, or walking into a room full of anger is abusive not only to yourself, but to everyone else in there. We wouldn’t urinate yet this other behaviour is often just accepted or we turn a blind eye to it rather than speak up and say this is totally not okay.

54. I too have come a long way in understanding what abuse is and can see all the little ways that I still self-abuse or allow abuse in my life. Recently I have been tidying up my cupboards and discovering that when I do not have an order in my cupboards that is actually abusive towards myself as order facilitates flow and harmony in my day and supports me in my everyday activities. This is so great to feel and attend to.

55. Anything but love is self abusive, and thank goodness with the support of Serge Benhayon, I am aware enough now to know the difference.

56. Rosie what you have exposed in your truthful blog is very important because: “What I had not ever seen was that abuse in the body can mean so much more, and that it can be done by me, to myself.” This is something most people are not aware of and therefore I love it that you shared this insight you have made so openly.

57. Abuse can be very subtle, but oh,so undermining of our true worth and preciousness.

58. Through the constant communication with our selves we come to a greater understanding of how our body reacts or responds to how we are with it.

59. “I used to think that abuse only came from others, but I now take responsibility for the abuse that I was doing to myself: that hidden self-abusing that I was unaware of for so long.” The things we do to ourselves we often don’t think of as abuse, because they have become ‘normal’, but you’re right, they are. Making a choice to change them can then result in an appreciation of self rather than self-bashing and not caring. Everything matters.

60. I appreciate your sharing Rosie and felt to reconnect to your words at this time . A great inspiration to look after my body even more than I have been.

61. We mark the care or abuse that we offer ourselves through our every movement… and the examples you picked out Rosie are typical, mundane and perfect. How do I strike the keyboard as I write this comment? Is it hurried and banging each key, or is there a flow and space around the action itself. Really brings an awareness to my fingertips!

    1. How we strike each key on the keyboard is just as important to how we open the door or how we talk to another. It is great when we bring our awareness to every thing we do and not make one more important than another.

62. I have come back to your blog Rosie, because I find myself wanting to eat something, anything really to numb what I am feeling in my body just now, yet I am not hungry. I have decided in this instance to stay and feel, in doing so I have a much deeper understanding for others for what I feel ATM is quite intense and I could easily eat to numb it. But, I know from experience that numbing it doesn’t help. I always feel worse after I have eaten to numb something than I did feeling the intensity of what I feel.

63. The more deeply I connect with myself and my love for myself I naturally become more sensitive to what I expose myself to. This is a forever changing and refining what was loving and nurturing 2 years ago is now abuse and my body lets me know this.

64. The problem with holding a picture of what is abuse is that it often leaves quite a bit under the rag that is equally abuse.

65. I met recently a women who said ‘I love my body’ and I could feel how it was true what she said, that she lives that. And there was this feeling of, no one would like to harm her. She emanated honoring and all around her started to honor too. This was very much inspiring for me and showed me how my choices and way of living has an effect on my surroundings….and on me off course!

66. I used to believe the word abuse was attached to an act from one person to another often extremely violent. Either verbal or physical. These days I can see abuse is prevalent in a million more areas of life than what I grew up to believe. It makes me realise just why we as humanity are so shut down, because if we really let ourselves feel what was going on in our world, we’d all be devastated at the level of abuse we have allowed to play out.

67. Self abuse is a huge topic that we don’t talk about enough. Having you pull apart the meaning like this Rosie really stops you in your tracks and makes you consider how we’ve been treating ourselves. There are many things in your list that I can relate to and I could add a lot more to it too. I’ve been making a conscious choice to be mindful of the ways I self abuse and slowly I’m becoming more and more aware of my movements with myself.

    1. Feel free to share the ways in which you have found that you self abuse Elodie, I may be using your ways to and am not aware! It is only when we get aware and honest that we can make changes.

68. A very useful expose of how we only want to see the more extreme behaviours as abusive, and are quite happy to put up with what is in the everyday as normal. This in spite of the fact that our ‘normal’ way of living is leading to a world in crisis from ‘normal’ things like obesity and domestic violence that are crippling the world we live in, and provide the building blocks for the extremism that is propagating the world.

69. There is something we can learn about ourselves isn’t there… What we accept as normal behaviour can be, as Rosie explains actually be abusive to ourselves… In fact it behoves us to become as self-aware as possible so that we can start to live a life where even the smallest details are an act of self loving awareness.

70. As I have become more acutely aware of how delicate and sensitive we truly are, behaviours that I would have never considered abusive are now very obvious. The more we embody the love we are, the pockets that are less than love start to get exposed.

71. Self-abuse is anything that is not self-loving. The more we choose to be self-loving in all that we do, say and think the more we can feel where we may still hold pockets of self-abuse. When we do not appreciate, feel and live all the love that we are this is self-abuse.

    1. I agree Mary in that not appreciating myself, my choices, my life and others is abusive. Because if my space isn’t filled with connection or appreciation then it’s filled with the complete opposite and I feel miserable.

       1. If we don’t stop to appreciate, it is as if we don’t make enough space for more to unfold. If we don’t allow this, it affects all of us.

72. We make many unloving self-abusive choices during the day without even realising that we are doing so, the more we become aware of our body and our choices the easier it is to be aware of the choices we are making.

73. For a long time the way I spoke to myself was immensely critical, to the point of being abusive. Slowly now with the support of Universal Medicine I can see this as a lack of love, and choose to stop those thoughts the same as I would stop anyone else who spoke to me like that.

74. Yes so true Aimee, if we don’t see the abuse from ourselves, it is often the same case when it comes from outside and the more we are aware and feel, the more we can see it for what it is.
    On the subject of jokes, I am shocked at how abusive a lot of jokes are and how they make people feel, and yet they are said and used to be funny. The undercurrent definitely doesn’t feel so funny.

75. Breaking down the ideas of what abuse is is the first step towards rectify the rampant abuse in our society.

76. Rosie thank you for sharing, what stood out for me was ‘I no Longer Need the Stimulation from Unhealthy Food like I Used to’ this is a great point to look at, because when we eat what we fancy if it is not what the body requires at that moment we are actually abusing ourselves.

77. Reading the list that you have written is so powerful. These are all such simple, simple choices. Simple – anyone can do it. Choices – anyone can choose it.

78. Calling it for what it is – abuse – is the first step towards people waking up to what is actually going on. We have to start speaking the truth if we are to shed our comfort blankets of denial.

79. “Don’t you miss it” This is the question that I so often get asked when I tell people that I don’t drink. It’s crazy. Since not drinking (and making all sorts of other self-loving choices) I have discovered so much joy, love, purpose, vitality…..So my question back to them is “Don’t you miss it?”

80. Thank you for this expose on self-abuse Rosie. What you describe has become a normal way of living these days where anything is more important than taking care of ourselves. But as you describe taking care of ourselves can be so simple when we allow ourselves to be sensitive and to tend to every moment in life.

81. Self abuse is rife, there are probably very few of us on the planet who don’t self abuse. The ridiculous thing is we have setup a way of life that is dependant on self abuse to feel good. Thanks to Universal Medicine for showing there is another way.

82. It is amazing how abusive we can be to ourselves without even realising it or stopping to really clock it. And amazing the changes that you have made Rosie, what a great reflection for others of how it is possible to take greater care of ourselves.

83. It’s interesting that the ways in which we commonly abuse ourselves have become so normalised that when they are called out and exposed as being abuse, many scoff at this think its an extreme point of view – as I did a few years ago. But now I can clearly feel the abuse in my body when I ignore it’s messages to me, and yet because I have lived this life and many others believing in the untruth that it is normal to overeat, drink alcohol, be rough and hard in my movements and expression….etc. it is taking me some time to feel and truly accept the severity of the abuse – and by that I mean the consequences of my choices such as lack of vitality, depression, ill-health…etc. The understanding that I am walking against the tide of normalised abuse supports me to be more loving and understanding of myself when I slip into an old pattern. This understanding and compassion for myself builds more love in my body which then supports every choice to walk away from abuse and choose love instead.

84. “2 glasses of wine and then vomit all night”. This is an amazing fact. In that almost anyone reading this blog would consider that two glasses of wine was nothing remotely excessive. And indeed would almost definitely frequently drink as much, if not more. Yet, here is your body explaining to you in no uncertain terms, that the alcohol is poison and that it doesn’t want it. Couldn’t be clearer!

85. Rosie this is a game changer exposing the abuse we do to ourselves that for many years I know I accepted as ‘normal’. Far from normal we have as a society just accepted a lesser way to live, blogs like yours are an awesome support in addressing this in our lives.

86. Rosie this has been a great reminder to me that abuse starts within and then manifests on the outside. We train the world how we want to be treated. We forget and think it is the other-way round. The question that changed my life from being the victim to the empowered was this – ” What was my part in this?”.

87. My barometer of self-abuse is constantly moving. I look back now on what I used to do, with astonishment. As I’m sure I will, on what I do now, in two years time. But for me this is the key – accepting the fact that it is an evolutionary process and being willing to see what is being shown and making the changes. This is where I can get unstuck. I am still stubborn in holding on to some rhythms. But it is also super important to really, really appreciate the huge changes that I have made to the way I look after my body. And that is entirely down to the inspiration and lived examples of Serge Benhayon and many other amazing students of the The Way of the Livingness. Thank you all for everything that you have shown me.

88. It’s so true what you’ve shared Rosie about there being a widely held perception of what ‘abuse’ means and what constitutes it – the word is associated with physical or sexual violence, bullying and harassment, however as you’ve shared there may be more to it than that… If we were to look at how we were treating our bodies as black or white – caring or not caring, love or not love, could we say that it is abuse or not abuse? And thus if it is, then should we accept this abuse, or change it..

89. Hi Rosie, yes this is great to consider . . .the fact is anything that is not
    love is abusive and when we begin to exam how we are with our selves we see the extent that this love-less-ness has been allowed in our life. Learning to love and care for our self is massive. It is a big game changer that everyone benefits from.

90. Anything that is not love is abuse so when we consider it like that a lot of our day potentially could be in self-abuse. It is great to bring honesty around this subject so that we can learn to recognize it and do something about it.

91. It really is quite confronting when we begin to see how we are with ourselves and that we have actually been abusive to our own bodies. It was not until I heard Serge Benhayon say the words “you are love” that I began to consider if this was true, how is it that I don’t hold myself with such grace and honour that love deserves. The turning point that supported me, and continues to support me to catch the slightest self abusive behaviour, and halt it in its tracks.

92. Very true Sarah, there is the obvious abuse but also the abuse that is subtle that we feel is ok to sweep under the carpet because we feel it to be insignificant.

93. well said Linda, its all about building a loving connection with ourselves.

94. Thanks Rosie for the great reminder of how far reaching abuse on our bodies can be and what we actually put up with. Only when we start looking a little deeper can we see how the seemingly little things we do or not do can be abusive on our bodies.

95. So have I. It would have been almost unheard of in the past to consider such behaviour abusive and in fact would seem so normal. Now it is just common sense to be loving to myself and everyone and is actually part of self responsibility

    1. And echoing what you are saying Joshua, it is common sense to look after ourselves and be loving. What Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine present is just this common sense, nothing out there or untoward, yet somehow we struggle with it because it is almost too simple and easy. It is crazy how much we like to complicate things.

96. It’s a great wake-up call to read that not giving your body exercise is a form of abuse and completely obliterates any view that it’s a chore. Fact is, laziness and disregard are prime manifestations of self-abuse and merely reflect that we just don’t care about keeping the body vital, strong and optimised. Thank you for the nudge!

97. It is a constant choice to choose what is loving. We can make it out like such a drag to do, but really there is a joy in doing what our inner-heart calls us to do, like even the slightest adjustment to our chair or putting on a jacket, or adjusting our ponytail so it’s not too tight on our head.

    1. Yes Annie, all the little things we do make a big difference to the way we live.

98. Our abusive ways can be quite “comfortable” for us, for example overeating. We don’t like to make children overeat, yet we can make our own bodies suffer with the wrong foods and in quantities that are far too great for our delicate bodies to handle. I do this myself, but see the craziness of it and how it not only affects me, but it also has a ripple effect on other people.

    1. I often find it easier to make the change when I see how my choices are not only effecting me but those around me. When I see the bigger purpose and once I am aware, then that is it. I often ask myself why or what am I doing and then make the necessary changes.

99. Rosie, you have done such a great job of naming the ways we can let abuse into our everyday. I have noticed I can react to the labelling of behaviours as abuse and I feel it is because it is confronting to see the responsibility being asked of me to live.

    1. I totally understand. I have these come up all the time and its quite a hard pill to swallow when you really see how abusive and irresponsible you have been. I know that I have been super irresponsible and beating myself up about it is not going to help so I just keep owning my part, and learning and being aware. In the long run, its better than turning a blind eye and hoping it will all just solve itself.

100. This blog is an excellent exposing of what abuse is. We have no problem calling rape and murder abuse but we are less likely to call negative self-talk abuse even though that is exactly what it is. Abuse is anything that is not loving so there are many things that we do in our day that we can look at and see that they are in fact abusive. What is required in order to call out abuse is a commitment to truth and this blog does this very beautifully.

101. That is a great point hvmorden, not only being aware of the abuse but understanding what is behind them is the key to change them.

102. So true Nicola, its like when we grow up we have an expectation that we are able to deal with things better, and this is huge in our society for men. There is a culture of being tough and not sharing how sensitive we really are. The hardening is indeed an abuse and a detrimental way of living that causes many problems in our bodies and relationships.

     1. And for women, there is nothing more lovely than to be around a man who is tender and sensitive not trying to fit in that tough culture.

103. Its a beautiful thing to inspire others to make loving instead of abusive choices. Yes this can be challenging at times but when we don’t hold back and are living from our essence, then we all evolve.

     1. It is indeed a beautiful thing and sometimes it has happened even when I haven’t been aware of the fact at the time.

104. Our bodies will always let us know what is abuse and what is loving if we choose to listen. By connecting to our essence we are connecting to Love, so everything that is not Love is exposed.

     1. The key point there Christopher, is if we will stop and listen or do we continue on with ear muffs and blinkers on? or what comes to mind is a kid with their fingers in their ears saying out loudly, I can’t hear you!!

105. An amazing and honest blog Rosie, I can relate to much of what you’ve written here, living in disregard and lack of care is indeed self abuse. I find the more I am in my essence the more likely I am to make loving choices for myself.

106. We can be our own best friend or worst enemy all depending on how we treat ourselves

     1. Yes, and how we treat ourselves, is then reflected in how we treat others.

107. You list some really thought-provoking forms of self-abuse that I would never have categorised as such but in fact reveal a true absence of care and gentleness – namely, the way I throw my body in and out of a car, the way I get in or out of bed – and as I think about it, at my desk or at the dining table. These are all times and places where I can choose to disregard the connection with my body or build a stronger relationship with it.

108. Yes very good point Joshua, what I know from my own experience is the more aware of self abuse I am, the less I am able to abuse another because of the fact of my awareness and how I would not want to treat anybody like that. To get to this though, I had to start with myself.

109. That is a really lovely level of personal responsibility. It is so easy to go through life thinking we don’t have choices but one of the things we always have a choice about is our behaviour with ourselves. From the moment I paid attention to it I was so shocked at how judgemental I was of myself and would never have considered saying the majority of what I said to myself to someone else.

110. Thanks Anna, it sure is an exercise worth committing too and what I love is the less I abuse myself, the less I will abuse another. It has to start with me first though.

111. Making small changes to how I live has greatly supported my body and being more self-loving with myself has changed the way I live more lovingly, rather than living in an abusive relationship which is easy to do when you lose your connection to self.

112. Awesome blog thank you Rosie, it is interesting how we can self-abuse for so long without stopping to consider that it is harming to the body. This blog is a beautiful reminder to let go of any self-abuse in our life, I find the more I learn to do this then the hidden areas get revealed to me more easily – a work in progress but a worthwhile exercise when I commit to it.

113. So often we abuse ourselves without even realising that we are doing it. It was not until I built up a connection with my body, to the point of being able to listen to what my body was asking of me, did I realise how much I had been abusing myself.

     1. Yes, and the more and more we connect to our bodies, the more of the abuse we start to unravel.

        1. This may be why sometimes people do not even want to stop and connect to their bodies, as it is confronting to them the abuse for what it is and how we got there, or we may not be ready to let go of the abusive behaviours.

        2. Good point, I know that for me there was a point that I said yes to abusive behaviours because that then allowed me to stay a victim and be poor me rather than take responsibility for whatever choices and situation I had got myself into.

114. Thank you Rosie for pointing out how much self-abuse we allow in our lives. I love how you have made different choices. There is a deep appreciation and love for yourself which is really beautiful.

     1. Mariette, what I just realised from reading your comment is that with the more love and appreciation for myself, and even seeing my own ways of self abusing…. I am also then able to see more clearly all the other ways of abuse that I allow into my life. With this awareness I am now saying NO to that as well which is massive because it has been here all along over 12 years at least but because I didn’t see my own self abuse I could recognize these other forms of abuse that I have allowed. Once we start seeing little parts here and there, it becomes easier to see it everywhere and get the bigger picture.

        1. Beautiful Rosie, this inspires me to go deeper as well and to see where I allow abuse in my life, from myself and from others. There are like you say little parts that for a long time I did not even see as abuse but the more I appreciate, the more I can see that they are in fact abusive.

        2. It would be great to hear the ways that you allow abuse in your life too Mariette. As we all find them and share, it may help us find other hidden ones that we are not even aware of.

        3. That is true Rosie. I feel that the less abuse I accept from me, the less abuse I will accept from another.

115. There is no right or wrong Amanda, and it is always changing as we change and as we refine. When we try something new and it doesnt feel good, we try something else. Simple.

116. The article on self abuse highlights the fact that we can be our own worst enemy or our own healer, the choice is ours

     1. Very true, and instead of looking outside or blaming someone else, all we need to do is connect and look within, and call out all those patterns of behaviour.

117. I am sitting in front of my computer feeling, after a couple of weeks away, how uncomfortable my chair is. I spend many hours sitting in this chair and I have actually been aware that it was not really that great but I kept putting off getting one that would support me. How self-abusing is that. You have inspired me, Rosie – I will get a chair for myself.

     1. Isn’t it amazing how you knew that the chair wasn’t supporting you and I know because I have had similar experiences… but keep letting it pass, not making it important, yet feeling it all the same. How often do we do this in life. How long do we keep having this little feeling but over riding it.. until eventually you make a different choice.

118. There all so many things in life that are not supportive to our bodies, and thus an abuse. I can feel how it changes when I start to appreciate myself more, and choose that what does support me.

119. I don’t want to say realising things that we thought weren’t abusive for us in the past are now abusive for us is a good thing however it just may be.

     What do I mean?

     Being abusive is anything that effects who and what we would naturally be. Thereby the more we connect to our natural essence the more we realise we have been abusive to ourselves and others. This can be confronting at first but an essential step in our self development.

120. As you have beautifully highlighted Rosie we are all masters of abusing ourselves in so many ways but I am finding the more I appreciate myself the less space in my life there is for this abuse.

     1. And the less space there is for abuse, the more it stands out when it shows up!

121. I love coming back to your blog Rosie as each time I do I become more aware of how I abuse and disregard myself. As I become more aware I know that my level of responsibility to change these patterns needs to change. A very awesome reflection, thank you Rosie.

122. A great reflection of your transition from self-abusing behaviours to a way of living that’s much more self-honouring and self-nurturing. Just great that you label the abuse for what it truly is, as it’s the wake-up call we need to jolt us into taking true responsibility for ourselves.

123. As I read your blog Rosie, I realised just how much I have changed my life. Your list of self abusive things that we can do was my list too (and I am sure is also many others) and it is no more. My body to is rejoicing in the choices I am now making, loving, caring choices that deepen each and every day that I live.

124. Yes my understanding of gentle, tender, delicate, precious, sweet have all changed – I so value these qualities now and have a much deeper appreciation for them in me and in others and I also notice how much deeper the felt quality can be so what I considered gentle before would now be quite rough and tender merely gentle etc.

125. You raise so many good example to consider concerning what self abuse actually is, often there is a tendency to go for the drama or extreme version of what we perceive a subject to be concerning abuse. I can say that I did many of the things you mentioned above to myself or I allowed it to happen and now from where I am I would consider it abusive. I am learning that true self care provides a wonderful foundation that really develops self awareness and self worth, which means I would not consider abusing myself in the way I once did.

126. Very powerful Rosie, the awareness of all those seemingly subtle forms of self-abuse are so important as they provide the foundation from which we will accept or not, the way another speaks, acts and treats us. What you’ve outlined is the way to truly heal abuse, and extends into every aspect of life. Thank you, this is deeply insightful and helpful.

127. Whilst reflecting on this blog I am amazed at the, what seems to be, never ending ways I have abused myself. Some are obvious and the consequence clear others much more insidious and subtle but non the less equally damaging.
     After being inspired by your blog Rosie I am much more aware of the self abuse that creeps in.

128. Great points you make here Rosie. As self-love and love develops what we once considered as being OK we can then see as abuse. Like you, I have a long list of things that I now consider abusive that I once upon a time, never gave two thoughts to. Thank goodness for Universal Medicine for setting the bench mark for what is love.

129. Beautifully shared Rosie, I can feel the same, we can actually really badly abuse ourselves – I even feel this is the greatest form of abuse. We can only hurt ourselves basically. What you shared is incredible: .. and the choice to stay in bed and not move my body is just another way that I can be self-abusive.
     To be honest I never took the consideration that I actually have used sleeping in to deliberately offset myself (which is very abusive towards myself).. What I can feel from this is that I can allow myself to make sure I actually stand for what is true and actually claim that I am worth it to not abuse, but love myself.. This is a practice which I have absolutely committed to right now.

130. I loved reading your blog Rosie and how you described “chucking” yourself into bed and “shoving” yourself into the car. I couldn’t help but smile at that, the way that we can throw our bodies around like that yet it’s so ‘normal’. The changes you have made are enormous. You are redefining what we know self-abuse and self-care to be.

131. I agree Sharon. I have found that to truly care for and support my body it is a process of constantly refining what is and is not supportive for it. This is an ongoing process.

132. Thank you for sharing this Rosie and exposing the level of abuse that we accept from ourselves. I often think that if someone else treated us the way we sometimes treat ourselves then we would not accept it. If I had a boss who spoke to me the way that I sometimes speak to myself I would be putting in a formal complaint. But who do we complain to when it is us who is doing the abusing? Since attending Universal Medicine presentations and developing a greater care and love for myself I no longer indulge in the self-abuse and when I notice it occurring I stop and look at why I would treat myself in this way.

133. “The way I spoke to myself, the voice in me always critical and hard.” This is the one that gets me every time Rosie but I’m on the alert now ready to stop it the moment it comes in.

134. It is amazing how we can feel the abuse of one thing, and then in some sneaky way substitute it with another for awhile until we wake up and become just a little bit more aware and feel what it is actually doing to our body.

135. Thank you, Rosie. This is a timely reminder for me as I was recently feeling that some of the things I do in my day were beginning to feel abusive. It is great to feel that I am worthy of more tenderness without judging my past choices.

     1. What I have recently learnt Fumiyo is that the more we hold onto those choices in the past, its like we re create them in the present. It is as if we are saying YES to more of that by keeping them alive in our minds.

136. Often our interpretation of ‘abuse’ is limited to dire, awful acts of human attack and degradation. However I know that it has played out in my life, abuse for me is when a choice or an act does not come from love. I completely relate to this quote “The way I spoke to myself, the voice in me always critical and hard.” Many of us have these thoughts come into our heads about ourselves, I used to have a regular supply coming through and they inhibited me and resulted in being more abusive with my body. I realised that I would never talk to anyone else the way that I was letting these thoughts speak about me….and that was when I realised that I needed to take control of the thoughts in my head and not be beholden to them. And so I worked on a connection with my heart and this is now the place from where I live, those thoughts come in still and now know they are not me and I politely tell them to leave!

     1. Great comment Samantha. I can completely relate to allowing abusive thoughts coming into my head. Having an awareness of when this happens is a great step towards stopping them in their tracks.

137. Rosie, the self-abuse that you list is so normal for most people. How many say ‘no’ to the harsh voice inside their head, or are aware of the way they get into their car or bed. I know that I wasn’t for most of my life, but until I was introduced to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I didn’t have anyone showing me another way. Now I know that I am worth treating myself with the same love and care that I expect from others.

138. Hi Rosie, your blog has shown that slowly through growing awareness there is much we can notice about the way we live and the self care we practice. It feels very self loving to have slowed your life down and to have started to challenge what abuse of self really entails. The amazing livingness that happens when we choose to live what feels true is beautiful. Thanks for sharing the changes you have put in place and challenging the choices we all so easily make because it is accepted and encouraged.

139. It is in those moments of awareness that we can make little changes, bit by bit. I still do things that are really uncaring for me at times and when I notice (which doesn’t always happen) I try to re do what ever it is that I did, so as to remind my body that there is another way of doing it and to break the cycle of automatic pilot that I can at times fall into.

     1. Interesting comment Rosie. We have talked about auto pilots before, you don’t have to break the cycle of autopilots, even our own body autopilots, it is much more self empowering to just change the program or the settings.

     2. Yes, again a great insight, cause it is not only becoming aware that matters, sometimes we need to stop and do something about that awareness, change the way we were just tough, and do it gently, or talk different, that is the whole point of evolution. That is what creates a new momentum. New roads.

     3. I love that Rosie, that if we find that we are doing something that is unloving with ourselves we can reimprint it by doing it in a way where we are present and loving with ourselves.

140. So true Nicola and Rosie. Honesty and real love for ourselves are the key to stop this abuse and work on healing what makes us abuse ourselves.

141. All the things that you have spoken about Rosie I can definitely say that I have done, said or treated myself in this way. In the past I would have said that it was very normal to behave in this abusive way towards myself, in fact, as you point out I did not even think about it as abusive, even though i knew it felt so awful. I no longer view myself this way, but do find it is a constant reminder and choice everyday for it to be different. I no longer choose to speak or treat myself in that abusive manner, which in turn allows me to bring so much more love and understanding to those around me.

142. Yes, alisonmoir, I look back on my horse filled days and the exhaustion I would put my body through. I would unload a container full of horse feed or shift 50 bales of hay and think nothing of it. I couldn’t as I wasn’t aware. I was so hard that I was numb. So glad that is a thing of the past.

     1. I can relate to that Rosie. In the past I’ve done hard physical work without considering how my body feels, just pushing through the pain barrier to get the job done.

143. Amazing blog Rosie, what you highlight here about self abuse is very important and supportive in so many ways. If we abuse our own bodies it is easier to allow abuse from others, because we are not saying ‘no’ to the abuse we are inflicting on ourselves, we are far less likely to call out the abuse from others. Universal Medicine has supported me immensely with practical self-care tools that have deepened my love and nurturing for myself, leaving no room for self abuse and being able to see and call out abuse from others more easily.

144. Self loving Rosie it was a joy to read your amazing blog. Thank you for showing that abuse means also being self abusive. That is not what people are so aware of and I was such a person too. Now that I am more aware I can say my life has changed e.g. my health is more stable so that I am not so often ill. So it is worth it to be more responsible and less abusive to oneself.

145. Thank you Rosie for your insightful blog. What you say is true but a difficult message to get across. Seemingly small self abusive habits become ingrained, are seen as normal and a part of life. I see many people trapped in unhealthy stagnating bodies unable to step aside and feel the harm being caused or just accepting that this is the way it is. You and many others have shown that there is another way: making truly self loving and nurturing choices on a daily basis (and not just food) brings a new level of health and vitality and transforms lives.

146. Yes, Jill, being present in all that we are doing, takes on a whole new meaning so that we do not fall back into old habits of self-abusing.

147. I very much agree Diana1975, we have lost the true meaning of abuse and as Rosie has highlighted in this awesome article, it is the harm we cause to ourselves, which often we are unaware of, until something major in life happens to wake us up out of the ignorance we were sleeping in, which has been my own experience!

148. This is great Rosie. Being honest of how we actually abuse ourselves. Why wouldn’t there be abuse from others when often the worst abuse is self inflicted. We can show a different way, by taking responsibility for the way we are with ourselves. Becoming aware of everything we are doing, and by being tender and caring for ourselves we are saying we are not willing to accept abuse from anyone.

149. So true Nicola, I was just sitting here and feeling how abuse for me nowadays is more subtle but if I consider myself as being a young girl I know I would be less critical and more loving with myself. It’s time to be more honest and when it is not love it is abuse, there is nothing in between. Let’s take myself by the hand lovingly and play.

     1. Yes there is no little bit of abuse, it is either abuse or not.

150. I really enjoyed rereading your blog. It reveals so clearly that the self abuse from ourselves is much grander than in our consciousness. The slightest things are actually an insult to our body and we should read it like that as well.

151. There are so many things I did not consider to be abusive before I came to Universal Medicine.. but there was and still sometimes is a lot of abuse, mainly choosing to eat anything I knew didn’t work in my body. That is a big one for me, not only choosing the food for the taste and the short term benefit, but really choosing the food that cares for the body gives so much support.

     1. I too Know this one Benkt, when I choose food that is going to support and nourish my body, its feels like my body is in tune. When I override what my body is feeling and eat food that will stimulate or dull down what I’m feeling my body really lets me know about it.

        1. Oh yeah, I have just experienced that…. once again I made some unloving food choices that were really abusive to my body. So abusive in fact that I have been in pain and vomiting. It doesn’t just happen, it happens as a result of a choice and that is sometimes hard to get honest about but essential if change is what is needed. Otherwise we keep going around doing the same thing and getting the same result.

152. Great list Rosie, I would say my view on what is abuse is always changing and needs reviewing often. I used to do martial arts, pushing myself to drive to the swimming pool, get changed and swim forty lengths in my one hour lunch break, backpacking with the equivalent of 10% of my body weight on my back over mountain ranges and not bat an eyelid – I would never have said I was being abusive to myself as I believed that’s what a healthy lifestyle looks like.
     Now if I knock myself, don’t stretch out gently first thing, hold back something I want to say, being hard with my thoughts, get angry or frustrated or contract, I know I am being abusive to myself and others. Needless to say this is just a tiny example of the way I can be abusive to myself and the more I become aware, the more the level of abuse changes and what I consider abusive.

153. Love this Rosie, I have now realised that the way I am with some people when I go into trying to fit in and chat chat chat is very abusive to my self and to them! So much more responsibility is needed to really love and care for ourselves, as everyone can feel it when we are being abusive to ourselves.

154. My understanding of the true meaning of ‘abuse’ has also changed. I can see how I have not been loving and supportive of myself many times in my life. This in essence is ‘abusive’ of myself. I am still learning how to be more caring with myself and I have found that the more I commit to it, the more I know the difference of what is ‘abuse’ and what is not.

155. Hmm, I bump into things quite regularly Rosie…bruises last for ages. Thank you for divulging that one.

156. Yea it is Samantha. It’s like a whole different world. And from adding a little bit of love to the Mix, what we are willing to put up with, in terms of abuse, completely changes. Now what we consider abuse is what we used to think was normal.

     1. Now what we consider abuse is what we used to think was normal. Aint that the truth!

157. Inspiring it is to feel these deeply caring changes you’ve made in your life Rosie. It serves as a great reminder for me to keep refining the ways in which I can nurture and deeply care for myself too, and so it goes the flow on affect for all.

158. Great blog Rosie, It is so important to really honor what we need, and be steady in knowing what we don’t need and is not beneficial for our health and wellbeing.

159. I love this blog Rosie, I also thought of abuse for a long time being only something like being hit by someone. How you describe that staying too long in your warm bed at times is a form of self-abuse, makes me ponder. Staying too long in bed, which then results in me having not enough time to prepare for my day in the morning, is indeed self-abuse.

160. Over the years my definition of abuse has changed drastically, like you Rosie I thought it meant physical or emotionally controlling another but I have come to learn that self abuse comes in many different flavours and degrees and that how we treat ourselves shows us what we will and won’t accept from another.

161. A great blog Rosie putting abuse into perspective. That inner self critical voice is hugely abusive. Can you share how you quietened that voice?

162. I had set myself on a self experiment the other day. I used to try to control myself when I was feeling sugar craving to not go and let myself have it. That day I consciously sat down and had the ice-cream (no matter it was gluten, dairy and sugar free) first a few spoons only – and then I felt into why I was craving for that. What it is, that makes me want to abuse my body. It was a deep sadness coming up – and loud and clearly speaking to me the reason why it was craving for this ice-cream. It’s been me who had allowed someone to abuse me. But interesting was what happened next: I had a few more, I couldn’t stop, and got to an even deeper level of why I did so: I got in touch with the feeling of me not deserving to be treated with respect and love. The end of this experiment was me crying and being thankful to me allowing myself to learn from me. That I am worth to be treated well, kind and lovely. By others – but first and foremost by myself. That self abuse is the same quality like abuse by another. And the opening for self abuse in me is the main entrance for others to step over that sill.
     Thank you for that enormously honest and heart opening sharing.

163. I love how you describe this side of the self-abuse, which has nothing to do with an outer force! It sharpened my awareness as well, although many patterns you described are no longer part of my life.

164. Most adults would read this and recognise it as the norm. As I read I imagined all those things being done to a child and how instantly we would recognise it as abusive – feeding kids rubbish we know hurts their body, making kids wear uncomfortable clothes, putting them to bed roughly at night, speaking to them like they are worthless….etc, yet when I consider myself I step away from that feeling of value I hold for kids and accept self abuse because I’m an adult. It doesn’t really make sense. Fantastic blog Rosie, thank you.

     1. Awesome blog Rosie, and great point Melinda. When I began to make self loving choices and try to treat myself with care, my son was only a few months old. I had a perfect example in front of me of how to treat someone so precious and delicate… and I was able to use that as an example of how to treat myself. But until then, and even for some time after, what I would accept in how I treated myself was a far cry from how delicate I was with my son.

165. Things change as our awareness changes too, so something that was ok last week, may actually not be ok for us this week – for example, if eating a certain food was ok, but we now notice that it is not sitting well with us after eating or causes any kind of discomfort, then to continue to eat it knowing this is self abuse, is it not?

166. Hear, hear Adam. And we can ‘comfortably’ limit our capacity to truly be honest with what is self-abusive (and also abusive of others), in such measuring and comparing ourselves to ‘norms’ we see around us. As Rosie’s honestly awesome blog shows, our body is often screaming at us in regards to a certain choice or behaviour – do we truly want to listen? And, what if we did and it actually stood us in greater stead than we could imagine?

167. This is an area I am deepening at the moment. Though I have become more caring with myself I found true intention to cherish and be delicate with me in every moment was missing. Thank you for sharing Rosie.

168. This blog is making me realise how much care I take with myself compared with before but how also I could cherish and love myself a whole load more. Thank you Rosie, I am already typing with more presence – beautiful.

169. You are a true living, inspiring testimony to what living in honour of your body looks like, thank you for sharing for all to feel Rosie.

170. Thank you Rosie for highlighting this subject of self-abuse. What I find interesting is that many things that we consider a reward or a treat are in fact self-abusive, like having a piece of cake or staying in bed instead of moving the body. We like to justify these actions as being a good thing – something to ponder on deeply.

     1. The fact that we want to justify these actions as being a good thing is a big warning really because on some level, we know they are not, otherwise there would be no need to justify.

171. Thank you Rosie. Yes, abuse starts at home, in our own bodies. It is oneself carrying it out. Totally halting self-abuse and replacing it for self-love and self-appreciation is a program in itself and a beautiful journey.

172. It seems hidden and subtle: the abuse we inflict upon ourselves. By reading this blog I realize it is huge and has a lot of depth. My abuse now is picking my nose as a habit, sitting too long – in a row – behind the computer without a small break, skipping a small walk after dinner to have the organs in my body dance to digest the food easier and to breathe some fresh air. Or eat food like Tacos whilst I should start preparing dinner because I am hungry. Just four ‘small’ examples, but all forms of abuse. And abuse is abuse when the body is suffering, being hurt, treated lovelessly. So today, I am focussing with mildness on how I treat my body.

173. Thank you Rosie for sharing that self-abuse is not in the obvious extremes we know it to be but moreso in the everyday, chipping away behaviours, thoughts and actions we submit our bodies to. As I am learning and what this blog confirms to me is that the more I choose to be gentle with my body, the more and more I become aware of these forms of abuse. And with that awareness I can choose to stop those negative ways of being which ultimately may be small but they all stack up at the end of the day.

     1. I totally agree, and I hadn’t realised the value of appreciating and confirming until recently and its beautiful to see and feel what opens up and is presented to us when we do appreciate. It is also really fun to appreciate all the little things, not just the amazing parts but all the small details.

174. Exactly Mary – we have plenty of ways to abuse or numb our bodies because we are trying to run away from what it is telling us.

175. Your’e making a great point Rosie, it is so important to become aware just how abusive our choices can be, to ourselves as well as others. I too used to believe that abuse was something that was imposed on me from the outside – what a difference it makes when we start to take responsibility for our choices and look more closely at the consequenses of them.

176. Rosie what you share here, I have started to really love and cherish this body that I am living with. I take care when I am getting dressed, I gently get into the car, and when I go to bed at night I prepare my bed and put myself to sleep as if I was putting a child to sleep, all,of these things are so simple, yet have a profound impact on not only yourself, but everyone who gets to feel that level of true love and appreciation reflecting in all of those loving choices.

177. It is great to have pointed out many behaviours that could be considered normal and yet add up to being a neglectful way of treating oneself. It made me stop and think about little variations of those listed and that they can still be there in the background in my daily life. Yet those ones I have addressed feel so good it doesn’t seem to be a should or a chore to go deeper but actually a quite natural deepening process.

178. An awesome blog Rosie, I got a lot out of it, as the abuse you describe is so overlooked and not often considered abuse, but when felt into more how is it not abuse if we are not being gentle and loving with ourselves in all that we do.

179. Rosie, what you have described as abuse most would accept as normal behavior. Could it be that this widespread abuse is the reason for the escalation of illness in humanity?

180. So true, not exercising is self-abuse. When you look at abuse like this it would be hard to find an area where we are not abusing – basically anything that is not loving is abuse. Thank you Rosie for opening up this conversation and Aimee for sharing the neglect of the body as abuse.

181. Thank you Rosie for such a simple yet so power-full blog. I love how you clearly point out how we self-abuse in the most obvious ways that we normally would not consider to be abusive. A real eye opener and life changer, thank you again.

182. This is brilliant Rosie. I can so relate to your list of abusive habits, maybe not exactly the same, but certainly very similar. I have also come to understand abuse to be so much more then what I had previously thought or believed it to be. A thought towards oneself or another can be abusive – now that’s responsibility.
     Thank you for your inspiration in sharing this with the world.

183. Thank you Rosie for sharing your insights on how you found that abuse is not only something that is brought to us, but that we also have a great deal of abuse in ourselves. It is really mind shifting as I too was always in the belief that abuse was something that is done to me, but when I would bruise myself that was just a small accident that could happen to me and everybody equally so. By unraveling all the hidden abuse in myself and by stopping this ill behaviour, I also come to the point where it is unacceptable for me anymore to allow any abuse form others. I cannot otherwise speak up and tell how I feel about it. There is that much abuse in our lives and we have to stop every piece of it. Only then we are able to take the next step to brotherhood and equality for all.

184. I, like you Rosie, used to think that abuse was verbal or someone being beaten, and never related it to how I was with myself. I also have come to realise that anything less than self-love and care for myself is self-abuse.

185. This blog is very true to me: the one who is abusing most often is me… But most of the time I can feel how important it is to care for myself and live a way that supports me most.

186. Good work Rosie, self-loving and self-care is true evolution.

187. I also thought for a long time that abuse was something that somebody else was doing to you. I have become aware that I have been abusing my self for most of my life and on many levels. Self-abuse can be in the smallest details, for instance, not going to the toilet when your body needs to or not wearing a warm jacket when it is really cold. Every time I make a choice that does not come from love, I am actually abusing myself.

188. Rosie, thank you for sharing ! I found it so interesting the way you talked about food now and your exercise routine. I can relate a lot to running into things and getting bruises- I used to get huge ones on my hips from the end of the bed. I used to say I bruise easily, but no, I just wasn’t paying attention and actually did hit them pretty hard…your blog made me think a lot about how I get in the car, I’m going to Suss out that gentleness and care you speak of this morning.

189. Awesome blog Rosie, you have inspired me on so many levels and I appreciate your honesty. I can totally relate to what you’ve written because I had similar beliefs and abusive patterns related to food. I have never been overweight but I tend to over eat at meal times because I thought, well, I am small I can eat as much as I like. I ate what I thought at the time pretty healthy food so that seemed to be another good reason to allow myself to over eat. Now I realised that I was in fact abusing my body by overloading it with seemingly healthy food. I would feel awful, heavy, grumpy and bloated and very much not myself. I have avoided alcohol, coffee and drugs as a form of self abuse but never really considered that I was using food instead. Now I have lovingly changed my diet as well as the quantity because I have learnt to listen, appreciate and love my body.

190. Often the most abusive relationship we have is with ourselves. We call ourselves dumb and stupid if we do something wrong, we allow all sorts of negative thoughts about ourselves and worst of all we think it is ok to be with ourselves that way. In fact it is seen as “normal”. There is nothing normal about that way of being with ourselves.

     1. Indeed Elizabeth. All my life I saw myself as the victim of others and what I did not like about my life would always be blamed on someone else. I was totally unaware of the extent of the abusive relationship I had with myself, the beating up, disgust and anger which resulted from an unwillingness to take up responsibility for my life.
        Through what is presented by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I started establishing a totally different relationship with myself: one that feels far more simple and loving.

     2. I am totally with you on this Elizabeth. It is crazy that we have accepted self abuse as being normal but at the same time we would not abuse another in such a destructive way. And as Rosie wrote “I wasn’t even aware that I was being abusive… self-abusing, that is!”. Her wonderful blog has certainly shown me how far I have come in removing many of these self abusive behaviours from my life.

191. Thanks Rosie. Feeling as if you are missing out can be a big hurdle to overcome.

192. This is so great Rosie, I have experienced a very similar cycle of abuse, noting many of the things you have mentioned here as tried and tested learned behaviours. Some of them pop in sometimes, showing me that each day is a constant checking in and building love with myself and choices I make. No perfection and to not allow the self talk/abuse to creep in should I make an unloving choice. But to ask the questions ‘why’? what is going on. Some days are better than others, but I now have a much more loving approach to myself and how I deal with things if I am not making loving choices every day.

193. It’s a crazy cycle, the self abuse. I’ve been looking at going “holly cow, you did this, this and this, that’s ‘so bad'” -like I’m the worst person in the world, then feeling shameful about what happened, then next thing you Know I’ve kick- started another round. Imagine if we just looked at it all as a learning without having to get it perfect?

194. Thank you for sharing your transformation with us, Rosie. It is very inspiring and feelings provoking. It made me think that the more loving and tender we become as more subtle things (like brushing teeth or sitting down to put shoes on) come to the surface for us look at and change if needed.

195. I love how practical your blog is Rosie by calling out things you used to do, or not do as unloving and unsupportive for you. I find that before I became aware that something was not good for my body, such as how I got into bed, it didn’t seem to affect me, but once I became aware of it, it now feels awful to not put myself to bed gently and lovingy.

     1. Good point Sandradallimore, awareness is like the starting point, and the key to change.

     2. Absolutely, it is so amazing how I discover every day new ways of being more loving with myself. Once having the awareness it becomes normal and it is impossible to go backwards.

196. Hi Rosie. I can so relate to what you have written. With each point I was going yep, that was me too, even going to the doctor and dentist. Isn’t it wonderful when we begin to take responsibility for caring for ourselves and we then begin to see the relationships we have with health professionals as equal partnerships. In my experience when we approach ourselves with respect and care, this is how we are approached by others – without even trying.

     1. Yes Jennifer, I have found that the more love and care that I offer to myself, the more love and care I seem to be offered from others too.

197. Rosie, this is a great blog, I love the points you raise and whilst reading it I realised that I probably do this – ‘The way I would throw myself into the seat of the car, just shoving myself in.’ Next time I get in the car I am going to be more aware of how I do it! Thank you!

198. Your words Rosie are a reminder to me that the smallest things can have the biggest effect on our world. I have found that since I have been kinder and more loving to myself, I am abused less often by others. It seems to me today like I was inviting in abuse by my self-abusive ways. Its amazing to see, how this self-fulfilling cycle leaves us as victim, and how being a victim in an of itself is in fact a form of abuse.

199. Thank you Rosie for bringing to light the fact the abuse isn’t just from others, that often we are our own worst enemy. The points here you list as self-abuse are a great reminder of how all the little things count and what we may feel is OK today (as an example eating a certain food) may actually not be OK the following week or month and if we continue to eat it, it becomes a form of self-abuse.

200. Thank you Rosie you shed the light on abuse far beyond what we typically think or like to think it is. The abuse of ourselves means we’re so easily able to then abuse another, and think nothing of it or downplay its ill quality. If it’s not loving; it is abusing.

201. A great article Rosie. I too thought abuse was something that other people did and it was a shock when I came to realize that I had been abusing my body for a very long time. Now I too have started to really love and cherish this body that I am living with and it is very quick to let me know when I am slipping back into old habits.

202. Wow what a gorgeous blog Rosie, so lovely and inspiring to read, i can relate to a lot of the self abusing ways you listed, such as,’The way I would throw myself into the seat of the car, just shoving myself in.’ I have changed a lot in the past five years having been inspired by the presentations of Universal Medicine, I am so much more gentle and loving with myself now that I could not go back to how I used to treat my body with such abuse.

203. Hello amazing Rosie, I’d like to add something to your wonderful list of abuses and this is playing sports in a way that makes the body ill. Isn’t it funny that thousands of people are doing sport with the feeling that this is healthy for their bodies? Perhaps they don’t realize that they may be so hard with themselves when they do the sport? by overriding their own body barriers and then hurting themselves. We as a whole community have the responsibility of paying for this via our health insurance fees and I feel it is time that we all talk about this as well.

204. I read your blog Rosie, and although I have just stepped up, I realise I still have a long way to go.

205. Thank you all for the comments, it has been lovely to take the time to read them all. I had no idea when I wrote the blog, that so many people would relate. It is great when we share and express, and even expose ourselves, and therefore assist others to see the same in themselves. It inspires me to write more!

206. This is awesome what you have called out, and I can really relate to what you have said – and like others, when I read some of the points in how you used to abuse yourself, I can see how I used to be like that too. Now my perception has changed, I am aware of this, have made different choices and have more self-love and self-care for myself. It is still work in progress there is still loads more to unfold, learn and change but it feels loads nicer doing it this way and living with self-love and self-care instead of complete disregard for myself.

207. An inspiring article, exposing many of the ways we abuse ourselves and our bodies, which we are not often aware of, or choose not to be aware of. There is lot in your blog for me to ponder on…thanks for sharing, Rosie.

208. I agree Rosie, ‘abuse’ in general terms does have an apparently strong ring to it as though it is only the extremes that it refers to, however your list of ways that you self abused are things we all have done without recognising them as abusive to our more delicate nature and tender selves. It wasn’t until I started taking notice of my body and how I felt that I began to acknowledge that certain things I just ‘did automatically’ and without thinking, now felt very wrong. Staying aware of how I move, think and speak to myself has helped me redefine what self abuse feels like.

209. Amazing Rosie, thank you for this. It makes me realise how hugely I have changed too. I don’t always appreciate that. It confirms my commitment to a true way of living that is respectful and honouring. It makes me see how much I honour and respect myself and realise that this self loving approach has no end. It just gets to feel more and more lovely living in this body, even though there may be times of discomfort I can tell where they are coming from and thus make changes accordingly or seek support if I find it too challenging on my own.

210. HI Rosie, you have made this so clear, and the list you give of ways of self-abusing I recognise so well. What I have discovered is that as I become more aware and make all these things more conscious, I then sometimes find myself moving gently with myself naturally. This seems to me a returning to the self I actually am before I chose to be influenced by and/or indulge in being attached to outcome, having to be right and fit in, and trying to control everything. All of which increase tension and take me away from the conscious presence of what I am doing and out of tune with my body. The natural place is how we were as children. If we observe the way a little child handles objects with such focused attention, we can see how we used to be and Re-Member — literally!

211. It’s like we can’t see the abuse until we take ourselves out of it. Or as has been my experience, until I met someone already standing outside of abuse and asking me to look at life from a different perspective.

212. Rosie. We have all abused our bodies over the years, whether it be from food, drink or sport for example.
     Then one day you may get a big flash in front of you and you realise what you have been doing all those years was not doing us any good. We then start listening to our bodies telling us it’s the only one we have – so please take a lot more loving care of it.

     1. I recognise now, Mike that I was abusive with exercise and would do anything to lose weight. Back in the day no one could have told me differently either as I was into martial arts; cycling across a desert to swim in an olympic sized swimming pool and cycle back in the midday sun; backpacking across France just to mention a few things, always pushing and to find out that I was actually getting nowhere – that I had not helped my body but hindered it.
        When I listen to my body, it never ever tells me to backpack up and down mountains all day and then get up and do it again the next day and then the next…..

213. I can so relate to your blog Rosie. It is great to look back and appreciate that I no longer do many things that were abusive to my body. I can also feel that there is a constant refining here to be done and possibilities to be much more tender and loving with my body in even the simplest of daily tasks.

214. This is beautiful Rosie. The mind can be such a lazy so n so! Just another five minutes in bed can become an hour then the body feels sluggish. From my experience, my mind wants a lot of things that isn’t good for my body. Listening to my body is really what sets the bar for what is abusive or loving to it.

     1. I agree, Jinya, our minds can lie whereas the body always tells the truth. I agree, it may wake us up because it is ready to get on with the day and staying in bed because we think we need the extra sleep could just make it sluggish. Conversely, our minds can keep us going when our bodies need to rest.

        1. Oh yes it sure can, and if we have allowed our mind to run the show for years, it takes a while to really listen to the body and not let the mind have the final say.
           And how good does it feel, when you do listen to the body, and honour what it needs instead of pushing through because of a belief in the mind.

215. Great blog Rosie, showing how we can abuse, or inflict harm on ourselves without even realising we are doing so until we choose to begin to feel what is really going on for us. Bringing gentleness and tenderness into my consciousness on a more constant basis has allowed me to develop a much more loving relationship with myself. My definition of abuse is continually changing too as I feel more acutely what is happening. And like shevonsimon I too feel it allows a greater lightness to my body and my feeling in the day.

216. An amazing blog Rosie, not just with what you have transformed in your own life, but really outing abuse. We so often see abuse as something coming from others, but what you say here is so true. I have started looking at the ways I abuse myself, rather than blaming the world and it is very empowering to take that responsible step; it’s bringing a lightness to my days to make the long overdue changes.

217. It’s funny how the term abuse is seen these days, to be an extreme action towards someone else. Or if it is to self – it is ‘extreme physical actions’. I absolutely held this belief in the past, but what I now know to be true is that abuse can be, as you say Rosie, how I talk to myself.

     What it means is I have much more of an awareness of if I talk to myself in a negative way, it can mean that I physically treat myself in a negative way, and then I bring that to other people. So it is actually all related and starts with the smallest of actions.

     Is it possible, that if people were to not allow the smallest level of abuse into any part of their lives, that there would be no room for the ‘extreme forms’ of it – because we wouldn’t be able to allow it?

     1. It is possible, and I am a living experiment with this. The more care I have taken for myself since writing this blog, the more I have been able to say no to so many other forms of abuse, that in the past I would have allowed, and accepted as just a normal part of life.
        Now I can stand firm in saying No, thats abuse and I won’t stand for that anymore.
        I feel that the more we all start making this choice, the more abuse in all forms will stand out and will not be accepted.

        1. Thank you Rosie. I’m familiar with all the things you mentioned in your blog and I’m slowly coming to realise the self abuse I have been perpetrating on myself. Yesterday I decided, after many years of eating from my small lunch box, to actually place the food on a plate (we have a staff room) and eat the way I do at home. Such a simple thing; yet it showed me how much disregard I had held myself in. Even though it is the workplace, lunch is not just something to get over with as soon as possible!

218. Top blog Rosie, until I came to the presentations of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon it never occurred to me that abuse was anything other than physical or verbal harm to another person. Finding out that I was abusing myself on a regular basis was certainly an eye opener, also it was exposing to feel that because I hadn’t been prepared to make self-loving choices for myself I was actually abusing others in a way, because they weren’t getting the real ‘Me’.

219. Thank you Rosie for going deeper with the word abuse. I too like a lot of people believed that abuse was physical or verbal harm – it exposes the level of hardness in humanity – but I have come to realise with the help of Universal Medicine that abuse is everything that is not Love.

220. As you say Rosie, it’s interesting to see how your body tells you things.
     Once you chose to listen, you instantly felt the benefit.
     I have experienced huge benefits since giving up both gluten and dairy products.
     The funny thing is, I had got so used to the symptoms that I just treated them as
     normal and something to be endured.
     Now normality has been re-defined for me!

221. Rosie, you bring a whole new depth to the word abuse, if we accept that the little things we do that harm ourselves are abusive, then I believe it is much more likely that we wouldn’t accept or allow the larger more obvious abuse that can be experienced.

222. Thank you for sharing Rosie, another inspiring blog you have written. My definition of abuse over the years has been refined as well – I also find it all to easy to think of abuse as being with another person and disregard the bits of self-neglect and self-abuse. Even not saying what I feel to say is self-abusive as it means I am disregarding my voice, and thinking that what I have to say is not important.

223. Thanks for your blog Rosie as it makes so much sense. I can see how over the years my perception of abuse has definitely changed and is still changing – always finding new things.

224. Wow it is quite something to read someone else’s self abusive ways and go yep yep yep and some. I love how you show the contrast of chucking yourself in bed, to now putting yourself to bed. I am no longer chucking, definitely more gentle, but yet to fully embrace lovingly putting myself to bed. I will be conscious of it tonight. Off to put my electric blanket on now which I always forget to do until I am actually in bed. So it will be nice and toasty for me. Thanks for another reminder, I do love your blogs Rosie.

225. I love your blog Rosie Bason and the list you write is ‘ditto’ for me on all points. Gosh, I can recall throwing up and unable to stand up because I had drank so much alcohol but I would do it again the following weekend. I hurt my body so much in so many ways and living a trashy lifestyle was the norm. All my friends were the same and so there was nothing in my life that was going to bring about change.
     Change came when I started asking for truth and ‘Is this it?’ and then a colleague sent me an email about Serge Benhayon coming to the UK. I feel blessed to know this man and his way of living has shown me one thing very clearly – what is abuse and what is not.
     My appreciation is beyond words because my life today is amazing to say the least.

226. Thank you Rosie, a great blog. Like you, I have always been a bit too hard on myself,
     falsely believing that kicking myself was an essential part of self-discipline.

     1. HI Jonathan, I wonder where or why we have lived with this belief that it is okay to be hard and disciplined with ourselves, when clearly it does not serve us at all.

        1. I feel that you were hard and disciplined because my grandfather taught my father, who taught me who taught you, that thinking a kick up the bum was an essential part of self discipline.

227. Yes, it is an incredible realisation of the self-abuse we put ourselves through and your article has me re-visit and look at those areas where I still am. Very provoking. Thank you.

228. I can totally relate to this Rosie, thank you for sharing. It’s amazing all the ways we can be self-abusing without even being aware of it.

229. Rosie, this subtle self abuse is something many of us can relate to, your choice to turn this around and begin to cherish yourself is inspiring. Through the teachings of Universal Medicine, I too know how powerful it is to rebuild a tender relationship with our bodies, to become such firm friends that there is no longer a desire for abuse.

     1. I like what you say here Lucinda, about becoming such firm friends with our body that we don’t want to cause it harm. Staying connected to the body helps us to not give ourselves away to the mind and the abusive thoughts which lead to actions.

230. I love this blog, Rosie as it makes us look at our choices, that would usually be considered as ‘normal’, in a more responsible way. I especially like what you have said about falling for the warmth and comfort of your bed. I can relate to this, and agree I can feel the difference when I don’t allow my mind to have the say!

231. WOW I love your blog, thank you for sharing Rosie. I especially love “My mind tries to get in the way, telling me that my bed is warmer and I could just lay there… but when I make the effort for me and my body the results are so much better than lying in bed!” – I often have this excuse for not getting up in the morning, but you are so right, it feels so much better to make the effort.

232. Bumping into things – yes, it happens for me if I am not fully present with myself – so being separate from me is an abuse, simple, I love it!

     1. Absolutely Carmel I would add for me that not being in conscious presence all of the time is self abuse.

233. I love your everyday examples of self abuse Rosie, they make a sensitive subject very real for everyone, thank you

234. Agreed Shamie, such wisdom, self abuse is everywhere, you are right Rosie it is hidden, but it also sticks out like a sore thumb if we choose to see it, and the beauty is it’s easy to stop if we make more loving choices, as you have so beautifully presented. What an awesome blog for everyone to read, showing the way we can take care of ourselves.

235. You have written about self abuse with a very definite clarity and wisdom for us all to be inspired by.

236. Great post Rosie, what strikes me is the different levels of abuse there are and our ideas of what self abuse is. Years ago I didn’t see eating too much or making space for a pudding to be considered self abusive, but now I can feel that it is and my body clearly shows me. I suppose it always did but I wasn’t willing to listen.

     1. I love your honesty here Julie. “I suppose it always did but I wasn’t wiling to listen”.
        I can still find myself doing this. I know it is abusive and not good for me but I do it anyway. Its like there is a part of me that does not think I am worth the effort, or thinks I can get away with it, but the only person I am hurting in this process is myself.

237. What inspires me about this blog is the openness and willingness to be aware of the not so obvious ways we can abuse ourselves in everyday life. And the level of care to say ‘I know what will happen if I do X,Y,Z’ from the example you used with food. It may taste great for a moment but the after effects last longer and are more unpleasant. Caring for ourselves allows us more space to be aware and feel even more of these not so obvious forms of abuse.
     Thank you.

238. Loved how you redefined self abuse and shared your examples of everyday activities. These reminded me how through the simple things in life we can all benefit from introducing true self care as our natural way of living.

239. I could really relate to this Rosie. Through making similar loving choices, I have begun to experience a love for myself that is truly amazing. Thank you for sharing.

240. Fantastic food for thought.

241. As we can see from the comments, many people will be able to relate to what you have claimed, Rosie, including me!! It makes everything new, to do it in awareness and gentleness. Something as simple as shutting a car door becomes a new experience.

242. Thank you Rosie. The first list was a familiar one to read and it offered me an opportunity to appreciate the changes I have made in moving away from self-abuse. Awesome blog Rosie.

243. Yes, yes, yes, Rosie. I can relate to EVERYTHING you have shared here.

     I have found that my marker for what abuse is, has drastically shifted and this is because my marker for what love is has deepened. Now anything (be it movement, expression, eating, sleeping whatever) that is done in a way that is less than the level of love I know to be true today, is in fact abuse.

     1. Hear hear, I too have felt this to be true as I have deepened my commitment to myself.

     2. Well said Johanna, if I look back at how I used to treat my body it was very abusive indeed. But as you say, whatever we do today can still be abusive, if it is not from the quality of tenderness we feel within.

244. This is a stunning blog Rosie, thank you for sharing.

245. This is a true statement of respecting ourselves. Ariana, UK.

246. Thanks for sharing this Rosie – I can relate to what you have said here about changing the way we treat ourselves. I have also benefitted from Universal Medicine presenters and am still realising some of the ‘fun’ things I do that my body feels are abusive! Change seems ongoing as the process refines itself.

     1. I agree Jean, it is a great sharing from Rosie – I can totally relate to seeing that “some of the ‘fun’ things I do…my body feels are abuse”, the more in touch I become with my body and what I am feeling, the more ways I see that I have been abusing and disrespecting my body – ways which beforehand, I would have considered abusive. Indeed, the process is a constant refining.

247. Thank you Rosie for sharing, I leave this blog with a great big smile!

248. Another great post Rosie, I can so so relate… as if you were writing about the me of the past. So abusive to myself in all the ways you have so clearly described. I too have been inspired to a greater level of self care through the presentations of Serge Benhayon and Natalie Benhayon of Universal Medicine.

249. Such wise words, and how helpful for us to see the abuse we create in our own lives, thank you.

     1. I agree Carmel, very wise words. It is easy to blame others for abuse but to actually stop and see the abuse that we ourselves are creating in our lives takes a lot of responsibility.

     2. I agree Carmel, how many of us stop and observe how abusive we are being to ourselves, yet it seems we are always so quick to point the finger at others.

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