362 thoughts on “The Gentle Breath Meditation™, Being Gentle and ‘Doing the Right Thing’”

1. Leigh you have bought an interesting point, ’tension’ and ‘getting everything right’. How many of us don’t even realise we are living from this point . There must be billions of people having similar experiences and continue with this movement for the rest of their lives. Living with this eternal unsettlement, hoping that another may understand or have the answer.



   The Gentle Breath Meditation brings you back to you and incorporating it into our daily day to day life, just like brushing our teeth, can make a massive difference. This equips us when we feel out of source. It is simple, you don’t have to attend any classes, it is there at the tip of your nose…

2. Gorgeously stated Elizabeth and I too am keen to join in with this ‘program’ and drop the vigilance and allow the being, in fact melting into just the being.

3. I too can relate the this feeling of inadequacy or feeling like I am not good enough – in life many of us have learned fast to value more the things we do rather than valuing who we are and the quality that we bring to each other. And to have this as our default way of being does us no justice indeed considering the beauty of what we come from and hence who we are. It is a process and a heaven sent gift when we shed this way of thinking and being and instead simply embrace the gentle breath, a gentle way of being and then keep deepening this platform in our life endlessly so.

   1. There is a difference in what we ‘do’, and how we ‘be’. The doing leave us in competition and exhausted, like climbing that ladder to get to the top, and there’s nothing there, but that emptiness. Or being who we truly are, knowing that we are perfect in every way. No need to please anyone but yourself. What do we then bring to life when we live from that moment more and more? Our true essence.

4. The gentle breath is superbly powerful in waking up the awareness of the body and allowing us to be fully and totally tuned into all that we are feeling. Energy is all around us and can be very subtle in its communications but the more tuned in and aware we are the more we are able to feel this for what it is. The hard part is not the feeling of energy though, rather it is accepting that we are actually feeling the things we are feeling as not all of it is lovely, but at least with that awareness we can then choose to say yes or no rather than go with it and ignore the overall feeling.

5. Thank you Leigh, this is a great reminder that it is not about being constantly in vigilance about how we are with ourselves, but rather a tuning in and an awareness of feeling what is and what is not gentle and simply making the choice to be gentle.

6. “I was also trapped in an ideal of perfection – an ideal of how I thought I should always feel. In being this way I never let myself truly feel how I was feeling and what was actually going on for me in my life.” It is such a great point that ideals such as perfection or ‘getting things right’ really direct us away from the totality of our being. I can see how these ideals still play out in my life and come with a very narrow view shutting off so much more that is there to feel. The insidious belief under it all is that we are always wrong, not enough, etc. It is a really big reminder too that the mind is given a lot of power as clever and intelligent but how can it be when it’s so self harming? It’s actually the essence of love within ourselves that is our true intelligence.

7. Lovely to read that you are now choosing to be tender and loving with yourself, and are letting go of old non-loving patterns, ‘I can now feel how ridiculous it has been to live this way, and that it is much simpler to live responding as things arise – no longer feeling that I have to be pre–prepared for everything that will happen in my life.’

8. Like a rolling stone we can gather no moss as we learn how to dodge and weave around obstructions allow our body the space to heal and not take on any hardships that would see us crumble but instead we expand because of the internal fire of our essence. Then we begin to understand the deep feeling that is our sacredness, which is a responsibility towards everything, so our heart melts and we become transparent like a glass marble all shiny and new to feel the blessing of our Soul.

9. This constant checking of whether doing it right or not is very familiar. Whatever we then perceive as “right” is usually not where we are. It’s not even about whether we are doing it right or not, but it’s all about nudging ourselves off from our own presence. In clocking this trick, we bring ourselves back to us.

   1. Many people get trapped by this, how fabulous you had the awareness and so were able to let this old debilitating pattern go, ‘I had not only been trapped in the ‘doing it right’, but I was also trapped in an ideal of perfection – an ideal of how I thought I should always feel. ‘

10. I am taking the inspiration of this program – ‘to enjoy all that I choose to do in life’ – into my day today and can feel the sparkle of potential and learning.

11. Freeing ourselves from the belief and need to ‘get things right’ is not only absolutely transformative for ourselves but also offers others a break out from one of the most constraining human ideals.

    1. Pearls Matilda – for perfection and getting it ‘right’ can be a huge (and common) handicap, crafted meticulously to prevent us from the realisation that there is no perfection and no getting it right, as there is only who we are that matters most.

12. I agree it can be such a trap to wanting things to constantly improve and get better as if perfection is attainable and maintainable.

13. Love commenting blogs in this site because there are many relatable experiences like this which invite me to live with more joy and ease, with a loving awareness that supports me to just be, and enjoy. Thank you.

14. Beautiful Elizabeth. I want to join in this program of enjoy all that I do. I appreciate very much that joy is not exclusive for a selected few but a quality that we all can live if we choose it.

15. Thanks Leigh for sharing about this tenssion of ‘do it right’ which some of us have experienced. It makes me remind about the years in school and how we have been educated to achieve good grades, to gain the favour of our teachers and parents instead of being supported to keep the natural contentment, joy, ease and flow that we brought since the first day…I appreciate very much reading about this topic because it has to do very much with myself and invites me to explore the areas in my life in which I’m trying to do my best instead of being.

16. I have a feeling that many of us have fallen into the trap of having “to do the right thing” and then stayed stuck in this exhausting trap for such a long time; I know that I did. Since realising how damaging it is to live in this false way, I have been really committed to understanding the difference between right and true and the Gentle Breath Mediation has definitely supported me to do so. Now when I fall back into the old, ‘’getting it right trap, I can instantly feel it in my body, a feeling that is totally out of place, whereas feeling if what I am doing is true, feels so un-intrusive and effortless.

17. Reading your blog again Leigh it became obvious that things like patterns of thinking that we are either right or wrong and their accompanying tension are simply what we take on from the outside world, because once we let them go the true person underneath who is loving and tender can emerge and express again.

    1. This is a great point Melinda. The tension of doing right or wrong is not who we are…and our being is deep down inside, always pure. So we can let ourselves be, allowing our essence coming out and express. As I see in Serge Benhayon and many other students of the Livingness, there is nothing more precious and exquisite.

18. When getting it right is a real concern to you, it is clear that you feel this is not your default, but doing it wrong. There is so much lack of self worth to overcome along the way!

19. I have created a lot of tension in my body because with the; ‘having to improve my life’, which constantly put me into drive and to push through things which left me always drained and exhausted. It was a big shift in myself in letting this old belief go, with my body feeling so much more spacious and open.

20. ‘Now, instead of getting frustrated when I discover yet another place in my life where the checking has been, it is now a simple awareness and “wow, there too” kind of feeling… an appreciation of seeing another area I can work with and an acceptance of it, knowing deeply that it is no longer my way of living.’ Beautiful Leigh, tension has no place in this, no getting it right or perfect, just allowing more love into your life and inspire others (me) to observe the energy and to let go of these ‘ideal’ pictures we have how we should be.

21. It really is a deadly trap, that being right thing. It really spoils the simplicity of just being if we let it, and plays with our desire for perfection when such thing can never exist.

    1. Perfectionism, and wanting to get it right are traps, whereas it can be as simple as just choosing to be ‘gentle’ as you say here, ‘I had myself under this constant surveillance (tension) wanting to be gentle, always checking to see if I had been gentle, instead of simply choosing to be gentle.’

22. The ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ energy always keeps us trapped and in separation, when we connect to truth we are given everything we need to know and understand about ourselves and life.

23. The incessant need to get it right is merely another version of the hopelessness of striving to be perfect as we human beings are full of imperfections that we are here to learn from.

24. The true beauty of the Gentle Breath Meditation that a beginner discovers is that there is a true self to return to and how magnificent it feels.

25. Trying to ‘get it right’ is to be in constant self-judgment and this is then how we treat others in checking and judging to see if they are ‘getting it right, so we compound it with comparison.

26. Ah this is a good one isn’t it, “So I had myself under this constant surveillance (tension) wanting to be gentle, always checking to see if I had been gentle, instead of simply choosing to be gentle.” So simple when you say it like this Leigh, we don’t hear toddlers saying to themselves ‘Am I walking properly’ or ‘Am I crawling properly’, they just do it and love how their body moves.

27. Cracker article, showing the difference between thinking/trying and just living. When we try or think we are doing something that is already out of truly living it whereas if we put that energy into simply being with our body or with whatever is there then you will see space open up and have more energy. We can spend to much time in the wonderment of if we are doing or if only we had done or we’d wished we did in place of just consistently being aware of a feeling and fully appreciating that alone. We feel things all the time and only when we live in a way that supports this awareness do we see things truly change and make sense. It’s not about being perfect it’s about truly being and loving the fact you are where you are and have no need to be anywhere else.

28. Leigh, you used the word ‘trap’ or ‘trapped’ a few times and you are so on the money, it is a trap when we get fixated (however subtly) to get things right, doing things the right way and striving for perfection. And it is a trap that I am very familiar with and like you, am becoming more and more aware of it, and lessening its grip it has on me. The Gentle Breath meditation is a great way to build a connection to your body so you can become aware of these tensions and see what they are for you.

    1. I totally agree Sarah, about the power of the Gentle Breath Mediation to clearly expose how we are feeling. It is so gentle and loving that there is no space to hide from the messages our body is giving us, but of course, we still have the free will to say no them. I have found that saying yes is a whole lot more lovingly supportive for me and my body.

29. This trying to get it right or trying to be perfect and always trying to be prepared for whatever may come, creates such tension in the body and is a great trick to keep us distracted and from our clairsentience of just knowing exactly what needs done or said in any given moment. There is another way to live and be in this world, with the gentle breath meditation being a gentle first step back to feeling yourself and your body.

30. Awesome Leigh what a great revelation. This is something no doubt we were all brought up with the ideal of ‘right and wrong’ which is actually a complete reject of the person we are judging or in the case of self judgement, a rejection of ourselves. With my grandchildren and other young children I am around I adopt a completely different language. It is more like “you are not yourself what’s going on?” or “It is always lovely to be with you when you are simply being yourself.”

    1. This feels confirming and appreciative of the person, the complete opposite to ‘right and wrong’.

31. Every time I catch a thought or behaviour in the way I am living that is holding me back or keeping me stagnant is a miracle. It truly is special to give myself all the space in the world to see what is me and what is not me. The Gentle Breath meditation has been a great support for this.

32. I love how you are choosing to let go of this old pattern of ‘perfectionism’, or ‘being right’, that was running your life, and instead are choosing to accept yourself and your love and tenderness, ‘As the weeks roll on I am finding that I am being so much more gentle, loving and tender with myself, and I know that I am also being this way with others in my life.’

33. Leigh thankyou for your blog, this has come to me in great timing. I recently realised how often I’m checking in on myself, but not in a nurturing way, more from a foundation of insecurity and assuming I’m not doing something right. How insidious this feels to not be free to be myself and also enjoy the person I am, and instead assume I’m doing something wrong. I’m sure this harks back to teenage years if not earlier, but the whole ideal of getting it right (which is ever shifting) is so harmful, instead of nurturing myself to just be me and be connected to me, and to appreciate all that I am.

34. How insidious trying to get it right can be, and it is only when we are aware of this crippling belief that we can choose to let it go.

35. Something I am discovering is that tension can also be present when we don’t allow ourselves to ‘go’ with what we feel. My body now gets so very affected when I don’t honour the commitment my body has made.

36. Loved your blog Leigh, particularly trying to get the gentle breath right, when we allow the connection to ourselves there is an easy flow and also with the gentle breath too and what unfolds is simply beautiful, no longer needing to try or be right.

37. Leigh its interesting that the discovery of how you do the Gentle Breath Meditation led to you uncovering the same pattern in other areas of your life. Thanks for sharing how you have turned this into something to be curious about rather than something to get upset and frustrated about. Once patterns come to light, we then have the choice to do something about them.

38. What you show Leigh is that it always comes back to ourselves, that is, how we are with ourselves. It is up to us how we treat ourselves, either with love and care or rough and criticising. The power lays in our hands.

39. Awesome to read this Leigh, and that you’ve shared here with such open candidness – this in itself, is a breath of fresh air…!
    My experience has also been that any self-judgement aka setting impossible standards of perfection, actually completely caps us from the most valuable tool there is in life – i.e. feeling our bodies at any given time, and the signals they are giving us. All we are able to ‘read’ is the tension, and not what underlies it – the keys that may offer us the true opportunity to respond to what we sense and feel. Such a ‘trap’ indeed – and well exposed here – to keep us completely not appreciating any of the steps we may have taken back towards a loving relationship with ourselves, and essentially, dally in the part of us that prefers to play small, and less than we truly are.

    1. We know on some level the reason for the tension that we feel in our bodies and it is often knowing what this is that causes us to ‘dally in the part of us that prefers to play small, and less than we truly are.’ As here seemingly we do not need to take responsibility for where we find our selves in our life, this is the ultimate trick, as to take responsibility actually frees us from our own self made trap and opens our hearts and minds to steadiness and consistency. No one else can change how each of us chooses to live our life, this we can only do for ourselves.

       1. Very true, and at times a delicate process of letting go that which we have clung to – potentially for aeons…

40. What a lovely unfolding Leigh, especially the part where you are stating you found that gentleness is a choice. That it doesn’t have to be about just expecting oneself to being gentle, it really is a about making it a choice in ones day.

41. I love the elements of self-appreciation here for the small things you are starting to do consistently that are positive and encouraging. The kindness you are offering to yourself. I know it is probably not a big thing but I do feel that consistency is something we as a human race tend to find a little challenging – the rising rates of lifestyle illnesses are a prime example! So keep championing the small stuff.

    1. Consistency is absolutely key, with out it we are like a rudderless boat, drifting in many different ways and not holding a steady direction. With it we are supported to hold true and have a clear path ahead, even though we have no idea what is around the corner for us, our consistency holds us as we live our life.

42. Making a choice to breathe gently is what is key – to know when to stop and start that breathing process. “Essentially I don’t have to do anything to get to it, I just have to choose it.” I love this, so simple and so loving.

43. I know very well about this ‘being right’ trap and the tension it brings, I have had it my entire life, and I understand how that energy gets a hold on me and how disempowering that is. It’s like going by a thick rule book on how to be free. It goes so well with believing that I am not good enough so I end up investing being right by doing right, as well as not being able to embrace Brotherhood hence feeling as though I have to have answer for everything and be able to be self-sufficient. An amazing esoteric practitioner not so long ago told me that ‘It is not about going “oh well, that was a mistake” and being ok with being wrong, but it is about moving in a way that would allow “being wrong” to occur that would debase the energy’ – I have been keeping coming back to that ever since.

    1. “‘Being wrong’ to occur to debase the energy”.
       This is a lesson in humbleness and trust in our soul. For it knows everything that we have lived that is not in and from its gloriousness and learning our mistakes, as such, are supporting us to see and heal is a key stepping stone in humbly allowing what we know to be true to live inside of ourselves even more than before.

44. Trying to get it right.. so exhausting and so unnecessary when all we need to do is remember and surrender to the fact that we are already everything we need to be. In the trying and perfection we cut ourselves off from feeling anything – it’s a great trick that keeps us small and separated from the all and from our purpose.

    1. “We are already everything we need to be.”
       The essence each of us holds never strays or leaves us. It can only be numbed and hidden. Knowing this makes the above statement a tangible, real and purposeful, one that holds the power to expose the many lies we have been told and have told ourselves.

    2. So true, our body holds our purpose and everything that we need to fulfill it.

45. Very beautifully expressed Leigh. Thank you for sharing your personal learning and expanding wisdom for the benefit of all. I can relate to so much in your blog, particularly, being caught in the trap of wanting/needing to ‘get it right’ which can often lead to disappointment and/or frustration when I don’t live up to my own expectations.

46. I love the concept of letting go of tension and using the breath to connect … moving with the flow of the love and tenderness we are to support us in our choices so we can respond to life as it happens. Gorgeous.

47. It goes to show that life is a continuous learning and letting go opening the space to grow, whereas we learn to start and end something to then move on to the next something. And this then sometimes, (or often), stands in our way as we are fixed on how things should be instead of letting them unfold to be.

    1. This is a great topic to bring up here, having any ideal about how something is going to be, or ‘end up’, actually doesn’t allow for any space for change or growth. It actually keeps ourselves and others held in a pattern that may no longer suppprt us. It is not easy to let go of how we think things are going to be, but it is oh so very magical when we do.

48. Thank you for sharing Leigh, as I can so relate to this need to control life and do it right, which is a constant calibrating to something outside of me. It makes such a difference when I am able to let that go, it brings so much ease and lightness into my body and as you say a tenderness too, it is beautiful and allows me to feel the innocence of a child again.

49. Not feeling good enough – I know this one so well. Of course we all make mistakes. The danger can be that we stop speaking up because of a fear of getting it wrong. Worrying about what others will think can be so detrimental. However as we learn to accept and love ourselves, progress can be made. Finding that i didn’t die when i recently made a big faux pas has contributed to my learning here. “As the weeks roll on I am finding that I am being so much more gentle, loving and tender with myself, and I know that I am also being this way with others in my life.” Love this Leigh – me too.

50. We are set up from a very young age to get things right and please people. Through introducing self-love, understanding and appreciation of who we truly are and we are human and will get things “wrong” at times. These times support us to learn and grow, the key is to appreciate the opportunity and not go into beating ourselves up just take a breath and move on.

51. “stop trying to ‘get it right’” a great realisation Leigh, this is such a trap and it holds us back from knowing that we are already everything.

52. ‘ no longer feeling that I have to be pre–prepared for everything that will happen in my life’. This has been a huge shift for me too Leigh, as my biggest downfall has been my lack of trust….. working on this issue for some time now, and with all the support that has come my way effortlessly, has helped me no-end to trust again, trust that everything will work out just fine. This also helps me in letting go of control and protection and my need to always be prepared for whatever might come!

53. I like this part about the difference between checking if I am gentle and actually choosing to be gentle, how one way introduces a pressure to get things right and the other way simply lets things be what they are.

54. Perfectionism is a killer because it comprises an image of what ‘perfect’ looks like – something that is therefore not real, but a created ideal, a visual representation, always just out of reach. A great recipe for failure, for self-reproach and self-loathing if the ingredients we start with are a good dose of low self-worth and a need to ‘get it right’.

    1. So true Cathy,
       It is terrifying if we but open our hearts to feel the grip the need to be perfect holds on humanity. The drive, push, comparison and separation it fosters is mammoth. The truly scary thing is that it is seen as normal. We all have a responsibility here to show that in fact living this way is not normal, and that it is behind so many of the horrors that our society now suffers. A clear commitment to love is required to out this energy everywhere it raises its ugly head. This is where we become responsible, by knowing the harm this energy causes, and making loving choices to let it go, bit by bit.

55. ‘So I had myself under this constant surveillance (tension) wanting to be gentle, always checking to see if I had been gentle, instead of simply choosing to be gentle.’ I can so relate to this Leigh and the watching of myself all the time in case I got found out for not doing something correctly. Just typing this I can feel the huge pressure I have put on myself throughout my life and the constant anxiety this has produced. Becoming aware of this and starting to let it go has had a dramatic effect on the quality of my life but the patterns are deeply engrained and I have lovingly observed how often the tension has crept back in and then I have a choice to berate myself or just choose to let it go, the latter is becoming a more regular choice.

    1. Yes Helen, it is a constant choice, one that I work with daily. There is no magic pill here, but there is magic everytime we choose to acknowledge the tension as being foreign to our bodies, and letting it go by dropping deeply into our bodies. The joy I feel in being in my body is prescious. My body melts every time I say yes to being with it, it is the most beautiful feeling in the world.

56. Beautifully shared Leigh, what stood out for me was these words” wanting to be gentle instead of choosing to be gentle” these two words “wanting and choosing” are definitely worlds apart.

57. It is super easy to get caught up in the act of love without the quality of love being present. Because when we truly bring it, everything changes, and we need to be prepared for that.

    1. We do Shami, however being prepared is not in the normal way of being prepared, as I did this for some time and for me it felt like I was hardening, knowing my life was changing and sensing what was coming was going to be challenging to adjust. From this I have discovered the preperation needed is to remain still and present as much as we can for in this space we are equiped for the many changes that do occur in our lives because a deeper understanding and acceptance is present in the stillness we all hold within.

58. Letting go and surrendering are the best medicine for the trap of perfectionism and getting things right syndrome. Although difficult at first, by applying a simple awareness and a deep honesty of wanting to change, this pattern can be dealt with.

    Awareness is the aim of the day, so when awareness is achieved it’s not a good idea to brush it aside and leave it for another day.

    1. So true Luke,
       In my own personal journey having an awareness, whilst amazing and a feeling of wholeness, I have at times done exactly what you share. Brushed it off, or even worse have not claimed it as now being the new deeper platform from which I live.
       This is very pertinent for me just now, as an awareness that I have had and have often revisited and acknowledging in moments, is actually the way my body is impulsing me to live, yet I have been letting the belief that I am not equal to this not own it as me stop me from surrendering to the immutable truth, being that once we are aware we have actually already stepped into the new level of awareness and to not embrace this in full is in fact us not being willing to claim our new platform of love.

       1. Well said Leigh.

59. Great blog Leigh, and how simple it can be once we chose this connection inside of us and the appreciation of seeing another area that we can work with and an acceptance of it, knowing deeply that it is no longer our way of living.

    1. Dear Monika2808,
       Today has and is continuing to show me that connection to my body and allowing myself to feel deeply the joy that connection brings is everything. Tugging me to surrender deeper to living this way.

60. Thank you Leigh, this part line struck me, I felt you could add any ending on to it “So I had myself under this constant surveillance (tension) wanting to be….” The tension of wanting to be something other than what we are is an immense pressure. It often lies unnoticed as ‘wanting to be’ becomes normal. Yet what a disservice that does to what we offer life by simply being ourselves. The tension of not letting ourselves ‘simply be’ requires great effort.

    1. Yes it does Lucy, I attribute it to the way we live when we are uncomfortable and tell a lie to protect ourselves, and then living with the tension of having to remember the lie told to continue to protect self. It is the greatest lie of all to not live as the grandness and beauty ourselves.

61. Thank you Leigh for your inspiring sharing. I recognize what you have been writing and even though I am doing much better these days, the fear of doing things wrong and the need to be perfect is still there and giving me tension. On the bright side I have learnt to appreciate and treasure my little steps forward and have become much more patient with myself.

    1. Dear Ilja,
       Me too. I discover aspects of this energy still, it took me a while to understand that I was not doing something wrong and that what was happening was as I felt and dealt with an aspect of the needing to be perfect, it opened me to feel it somewhere it had always been, but I had not been aware of before. This is the power of truly healing an energy that is not true. The healing continues to deepen and expose until there is nothing more to expose.

    2. I can understand what you are saying Ilja, this little steps are making a huge difference therefor never ever try to do big steps to get further, as this is all illusion, we do need the little steps to realise and to build from there. I love this divine support.

       1. Yes Monika and Ilja, it’s all about appreciating and confirming the steps we are making that builds a foundation we than can stand on each time forever evolving.

62. It is sometimes the case that in bringing awareness to something we try to correct a habit or way of acting or thinking with a different habit, action or way of thinking, yet it is the same energy. Thus we think we have solved a problem but are really just going around in circles. It is wonderful to feel at points a letting go, a reconnection to something that feels true and an opening up back to the love that has always been there showing us the way to live without trying.

    1. This is a beautiful, very true comment Simon. Allowing ourselves to stop and feel that something that feels true which is there inside us all is the key to being able to halt the merry go round of using one eroneous behaviour to try and stop another. Being connected to our inner hearts allows us to drop behaviors, with no need to replace them with anything else.

    2. Already this feeling without trying anything is so divine. Trusting and not wanting anything to happen is what I am going for, this way of living is the most amazing way to get up to in the morning without planning ahead but connecting to this great feeling inside. Everything is already there that is needed for this day, to make connections from and just to be this amazing quality.

       1. Love what you share here Monika2808,
          Simply living the beauty of me and enjoying it is exquisite, this deepens and grows every day, and it is this process that brings greater and greater joy into my life. In simple ways that are hugely profound. Hugging another and needing nothing, feeling our tenderness touch another, the lightness of our body and the steadiness of our walk, accepting help from another. The list goes on here, but I now find these simple things are the way my life is, and it is divine to see and feel how much this supports those we interact with.

63. Having spent many years trying to do the right thing it is so empowering when we can let that go and embrace and appreciate all of who we are. The Gentle Breath meditation is a beautiful support for this, thank you Leigh for this reminder.

64. “I had not only been trapped in the ‘doing it right’, but I was also trapped in an ideal of perfection” I know this all too well and in my practise as a therapist would encounter it continually. This way of thinking/being is a deadener of joy and stops us from truly living. Great blog, thank you Leigh Strack.

    1. It certainly is a deadener of joy Elaine.
       Remembering that it is a way of thinking is so very powerful, a way of thinking that immediately stops when we choose to connect with our body. Where once again we can feel our connection with our true selves and no perfection is asked for, but the beauty of being perfect, as we are is felt.

65. And yes Leigh, it all started with the Gentle Breath Meditation, which at first i could not comprehend its worth and beauty because of its simplicity.

    1. I remember using the gentle breath exercise as my homework to do. It really made a huge difference from there. What a simple great tool we got to come home, thanks to Serge Benhayon delivering it to us.

66. Constantly checking if I am doing it right and or perfect was very familiar to me too and sometimes still is. It is as if I say to myself ‘ you only have the right to be here when you are doing it right otherwise there is no use for you to be here’ Ouch, imagine the tension, the hardness to fullfill this never ending demand on myself and my body. The fluidness and freedom I experience when I catch these undermining thoughts and come back to my body and back to appreciation of myself is amazing and confirming of who I am.

    1. Annelies, Ouch indeed, today has been another significant day of understandings and adjustments. Holding myself with the dearest of grace I am noticing the momentum of the checking energy is still present in my body, hence the ouch. Yet the joy for now in the holding I can feel that the checking energy immediately looses its power. Here lies the key for me to truely change.

       1. Beautiful Leigh, when we hold ourselves nothing can stick, everything is just seen for what it is and you are empowering yourself by allowing joy and grace in your foundation.

67. The trap of ‘doing things right’ has had me in its grip too. Then I am always looking outwards for confirmation or recognition rather than trusting myself. The simple act of choice is making a huge difference, together with accepting the way I have been and appreciating the changes that have and still are taking place. There is nowhere to get to, just being in the present moment.

68. I found myself again recently berating myself for some choices and how I had been handling a situation. Those ideals of perfection! In a session I was able to more deeply let go of the hurt I was carrying in my body and begin to build more appreciation of and for myself. This quality of appreciation, when I allow it informs my way.

    1. The hardness with which we can hold ourselves with serves no one, for if we are hard with ourselves, we are hard with others. Alternatively connecting to the love that is there with in is and giving ourselves permission to have made mistakes ignites our tenderness. We then begin to treat ourselves and others tenderly, with great care.

69. Leigh thank you for your blog, you mention the constant checking “So I had myself under this constant surveillance (tension) wanting to be gentle, always checking to see if I had been gentle, instead of simply choosing to be gentle.” It’s like having someone watching over your shoulder whenever you do something making sure you are doing it right. If I had that happen to me, I would automatically go into tension.

    1. It so is Sally, I have today been very present in my body and have been able to feel how my body responds when others are around me. With much tenderness and love, it has been very revealing for me, as each time that I felt myself harden and step away from my body. I was able to stop the reaction in its tracks and choose to stay in my body to continue to be tender. The other thing that I have halted to day is going into my head, wanting to understand what I am feeling. This I am discovering immediately takes me away from myself. My mind doesn’t need to understand it, my body has felt what it has felt and responded to my choice to remain connected with it.

       1. Mmm good point Leigh, the mind doesn’t need to understand or analyse, it simply needs to acknowledge what the body is feeling, that is amazing in itself.

       2. This is it, we don’t need to understand from our mind, we just can surrender to our body and the feelings we have – and choosing the love we are from. Simple and it is making a huge difference to life.

70. During reading your blog i could feel that my body started to relax and let go of holding on. Many years I was also trying to do it right including the gentle breath meditation as I did not really trust myself. It was a process building a stronger connection to my body and learning to surrender and listen to it.

71. Leigh I can relate to wanting to get things right and that perfection. Sometimes when I do this meditation I can feel the tension in my abdomen and its hard to let go. This blog is a great reminder of how the Gentle Breath Meditation can support us to just feel where we are at rather than the goal of feeling “relaxed”. Sure, we may feel calm but it is about stopping to feel our essence and what we may have breathed in that is not of our true nature.

72. This is such a timely read for me, thank you Leigh. I have recently become aware of the amount of tension I hold in my own body and I am inspired by your own journey of realisation.

73. Leigh – i just felt to revisit your blog and allow myself to really feel into all that you offer/reveal in your sharing for us all. It is huge – there is so much there, I feel deep appreciation for you taking the time to write it all. “You see, I had been living in the belief that I was not good enough…” – this is such a gorgeous and humble sharing, I totally melt. This feeling of not being good enough is indeed ONLY that, A BELIEF. It is very ingrained at times (I relate to this) but nonetheless it is only a belief and the opportunity of reconnection to self that the gentle breath meditation offers not only exposes this simple truth very clearly, it also supports the gradual re-imprinting of a way of living naturally free from this ridiculous and deeply harmful “not being good enough” pattern.

    1. Dear Alexandra,
       I am only beginning to fully appreciate the level of commitment that is required to catch the not good enough thoughts and stop them in their tracks. For me personally it has only been since I made the conscious choice to love myself deeply and to treat my body with the utmost tenderness, no matter what is going on in my life that these thoughts have greatly lessened. This appreciation has brought me to my knees, for I have a greater understanding of and for humanity from it.

74. it is amazing what the gentle breath meditation can expose and from there the depth of healing offers – as your blog gorgeously illustrate Leigh

75. Your blog is wonderful because it names the tension almost all of us carry, often without realising it. Lately I have been recognising that I am in the anxiousness of waiting for what I have to do next. When I say to myself there is nothing to do, the ease in me is immense and instantaneous. Doing this I also realise that I can allow other people to just be themselves and make their choices, without me having to do anything.

    1. Fiona,
       Of late I am feeling, on a much deeper level than ever before just how harming it is to allow my mind to go in front of or behind my body. Just today I had an experience where I was remembering an amazing experience that I had just last week. Yet when I felt my body while having this thought I found that it felt duller than moments before the thought. I then realised that even though the experience I had a week ago was amazing, that I had evolved from it and to go back to it was taking a step back in my body. I now have a whole new appreciation for myself and for the power of being present in the moment we are in.

76. The gentle breath meditation certainly helps me re connect and when I do so everything seems so much easier and a clearer clarity is achieved

77. The Gentle Breath Meditation has been key for me to reconnect with me, without it self doubt reigned for many years. Not to say it has gone completely, yet the difference is now I can recognise a lot sooner when I go into self doubt and choose instead to reconnect to my body and what is true. Thank you for all you have shared here Leigh, very inspiring.

78. What a lovely reminder Leigh, I can relate to all you have written. Letting go of the checking and just letting oneself be, noticing, and not trying. Your beauty and natural tenderness is most definitely enough.

79. Our bodies are amazing, Leigh. As I was reading your blog I found I was acutely aware of my own breath and body and there was this beautiful warmth releasing the tension that I didn’t even realise was there. It is the body that allows for all we are able to be and do each day yet it is the thing we take for granted. I really appreciate your sharing and agree that it is about ‘appreciating and accepting’ which allows for everything else to flow.

    1. I too became aware of my breath as I was reading and realised that it wasn’t flowing very gently as a result of some anxiousness that I have allowed in; my body is certainly speaking loudly right now and there’s no way I can ignore it. The quality of our breath is always a great revealer!

80. Leigh, I can really relate to what you have shared. Meditation was something I just didn’t think I could ‘get’ and perfectionism and ‘getting it right’ definitely factored into the equation. Learning to let go of ‘getting it right’ has been a huge one for me, to know that it is always a choice to go into the ‘trying’ or needing to strive to achieve something. Also appreciating when I could breathe gently, just be with myself to the best of my ability and however that was, that was enough.

    1. Dear Reagan,
       Our beauty and natural tenderness is always enough.

81. Perfectionism and ‘trying harder’ always keep us less, because they are unachievable – we can never get there, we are never enough. Appreciation, however, of ourselves our strengths and our weaknesses, allows us space to evolve to all that we can be.

82. Leigh I know this feeling of living constantly on guard –constantly aware do everything right, it takes a lot of energy to keep this all under control and how exhausting trying to live up to what we think we have to be instead of just being ourselves…

83. Wow Leigh – a powerful blog. I can relate to so much of what you have shared. The pressure I have put on myself to do things ‘perfectly’ in my life, ‘in the right way’ and judging myself to see if I have achieved this has been exhausting. And as you said where am I and what I know is true in all of this? It has certainly been freeing to observe how the trappings of this belief has been playing out in my life and reflected in my body, of not being good enough for who I am. And with this I realise that I have a choice. With choosing to connect to what I know is true within and honoring this with self-love I have been developing my way of expressing me with no attachment of the outcome or to a ‘right way’.

    1. Dear Carola,
       “With choosing to connect to what I know is true within and honoring this with self-love I have been developing my way of expressing me with no attachment of the outcome or to a ‘right way’.” I too am connecting to this way of communicating with others and am to developing it for myself. I have noticed of late the attachment/need for another to accept me and what I am saying has truly jaded what I have really wanted to say. So I too am developing, letting go of this attachment. As I do, my way of delivering what I want to say is changing. I am feeling more assured of what I am saying and so can speak with greater confidence.

84. Leigh I remember trying to get my breath right when I was introduced to the gentle breath meditation. I got really hard on myself for not being gentle! I also saw it as something that would fix me…
    It really is a beautiful and lovely tool to support us in our day.. and as I write this I realise it’s something to really appreciate that this is right there and available to us. I have shared it with a lot of people who have enjoyed the benefits of it. Sometimes the change has been so tangible in the way someone’s posture and manner of speaking suddenly changes to be much more confident, present and still.

    1. I fully understand seeing the Gentle Breath Meditation as something that would fix me.
       I so desperately believed that I was absolutely horrible, that not a single part of me was ‘right’, that I needed something to fix me. Thankfully, this belief no longer rules how I live my life and surrendering to simply breathing, choosing to be fully with my body has been a great support in allowing me to feel that there truly is a part of me that is so very ‘right’, my essence. This can no longer be denied and even though at times I struggle to live from my essence, I am deeply dedicated in doing so, for the joy of living this way is to beautiful for words.

       1. Yes, choosing to constantly be with or come back to our body throughout our day… noticing our thoughts or tension and then surrendering to our essence.

    2. it is incredible and so tangible indeed to feel and observe the changes in someone’ posture, way of speaking, their face, they eyes etc. The gentle breath meditation offers a a reconnection to self (energetic realignment) that allows us to see/drop everything that we hold in our bodies that is not us (depressed posture, frustrated face, tension or lack of confidence in our voice etc etc) – naturally from there our whole body expression changes. It is absolutely magical and deeply deeply beautiful and touching to experiment with this for ourselves as well as observe it in others.

85. Brilliant blog Leigh. It’s great to return to this as a reminder that this is what I do too. I have become more aware of it, but I still more often than not fall into the trap of feeling like I’m doing life wrong! That constant checking you talk about is an exhausting way to be and so very judgemental. This judgement can’t just be focused towards oneself, because if it’s there it means I am also judging others based on my lack of self worth. Hardly seems fair, and on a more serious note it is deeply harming to all. Dropping the checking/judgement takes such a weight off the body and being. It allows us to simply feel who we are, where we’re at and be accepting which allows us then to spread our wings that little bit more.

    1. the constant checking is indeed an exhausting and judgemental way of being – it is just very painful really and so unnecessary/ridiculous considering what our true nature is. If there is judgement towards oneself, there is also judgement towards others – absolutely. And this is reciprocally true too, if we have judgment towards others, this hardness is also directed to ourself too. All of this drops once we feel the loveliness of who we are and commit to live this and nothing less – every single moment without perfection.

86. After all those years of trying to be good and trying to get it right so as not to be in trouble, it was easy to feel how I had taken some of that with me as a student of Universal Medicine and was again trying to get it right, or to have the right answer, or just to be right. The lovely thing about learning how this new/ancient way of being feels, is that by getting it wrong I learn so much. We are constantly moving and evolving and the idea of right is somehow stagnant because what was right yesterday may not be what is called for today.
    The gentle breath meditation is a gorgeous foundation and there are many ways of approaching it.

    1. Amanda, “By getting it wrong we learn so much”,
       this is the key , not so much getting it wrong, but having the strength to realise we have and the even greater strength to change the way of being that does not feel true for us to a way that is in line with our essence.

87. Thank you Leigh for this wonderful blog. As I read your lovely words I could feel that I was trapped in being a person who lives with the ‘doing right’ thing or the ‘being perfect’ thing as well. So your honesty helped me to be more aware of it – how wonderful is that.

    1. Very wonderful Esteraltmiks,I guess I always knew the power of sharing with others the beauty of who we are and what we come to understand, but in actually doing it and feeling just how much it supports others is truly humbling.

88. Dear Merilee,
    Something that I discovered yesterday as another aspect of the getting it right surfaced to be seen and let go of is how this pattern creates comparison and jealously, and how horrible this feels in my body. I feel super blessed that I felt this so clearly, for it confirms again for me just how debilitating living this way is. Living my life in full acceptance of who I am, warts and all, allows me the space to feel the natural joyful ness that is inside of me, my next step, personally is letting this be seen by the world.

    1. Beautiful Leigh what you express here and in your blog is a great support and reminder for us all. I lived most of my life with tension in my body and it feels awful on the body to live in this way. I am learning to free my body of the tensions I carry – learning to appreciate and accept myself has been key to this as well as the Gentle Breath Meditation. This is a work in progress but the more I commit to this the more warmth and love I feel within and the more willing I am to share this equally with others around me.

       1. Thank you Anna,
          “The more I commit to this, the more love I feel within and the more willing I am to share it equally with others around me.”
          Learning that I am not the person that I believed myself to be, but that I am in fact a tender graceful woman is what is unfolding in my life at the moment and your comment reflects what I feel in doing this.

89. A super awesome blog Leigh, and perfect for me to re-read today as recently I have been feeling the tension of taking on; I have to get it right. I had a session with my esoteric practitioner who could feel this tension and heaviness in my shoulders, and just reminds me of how harming this belief is to my body. Time to let it go!

    1. For me accepting that there are many things that I have done and still do that are not inline with the truth of who I am has humbled me. The more I accept that I have lived this way, the easier it is for me to tenderly hold myself with love as each of these less loving ways rise in me for me to feel and to heal. Letting go is sometimes not the easiest thing to do for me. But what is, is not focusing on what I am finding difficult, instead allowing myself to be still and to feel again the grace that I truly am.

90. As I read your blog Leigh Strack I did a body scan and yes I was holding some tension around coming up with an appropriate comment…. great awareness to bring into my day and I’m sure as one area is revealed and released another will surface as I feel I too am focused on ‘getting it right.’

91. I can so relate, Leigh, to wanting to get everything right. In my case its been a fear of getting things wrong – a slightly different emphasis. But how gorgeous that you now feel “being so much more gentle, loving and tender” with yourself. As we deepen our connection more ‘stuff’ comes up to be healed. I am now learning to welcome this, rather than feel ‘O I’ve got it wrong’ again. Accepting where I am currently at and appreciating how far I have come supports me with this.

    1. oh yeah, know that one, the fear of getting things wrong and then, in my case, being quite defensive when somebody mentions something. Just to realize that there is no wrong and that I am here to learn, gives life such a simplicity to it. Then I can just say: ok, that was not the most loving thing I did there, got it, I see it, and next time, because there is always a next time, I can make a different choice. Joy!

       1. Love that Mariette,
          “When there is a next time, because there is always a next time, I can make a different choice. Joy”
          When I watch my dog I can see that joy is constantly lived in his day, no matter what. This is something that I have been bringing into my own days and it is truly beautiful. Yes stuff happens and yes it can be hard. But dealing with it from the joy of me is way easier than other ways I have tried.

       2. Just to realize that there is no wrong and that I am here to learn, gives life such a simplicity to it. I agree Mariette, and takes a lot of pressure of us human beings when we realise we are all here to learn in the school that life is.

    2. That is beautiful Sueq2012. I know very well the difficulty of letting go of believing we are always getting it wrong when we feel our stuff come up for healing. To allow it and know deeply that it is not who we are is the most beautiful thing to experience. As when we let ourselves be where we are at, we are very still, accepting, real and open to the world. Nothing can rock me when I am simply being me.

92. I loved your blog Leigh, and can so relate to what you are saying, I know the wanting to get it right, this has been a lifelong pattern for me. One that takes time to break as it seems to come up everywhere. As I do the gentle breath now I check into my body and at times I can feel the hardness there as I go into the doing, the trying to get somewhere,so back to the breath and just let it be.

    1. Jill, I have found that it is a lot of fun feeling the many reasons and beliefs that I have created to push me into doing things right instead of lovingly. As each one exposes itself I can then let it go, little by little with the tender commitment to living from the love I feel inside.

93. So true Linda, we do feel what is there when we are in our bodies. When I began to do this I realised that there is no right or wrong. Just a simplicity in what is there to be felt, with full understanding.

94. I like your blog because it reveals how fast we can go into a doing and checking with the head, instead of connecting. I am pondering, when I probably want to do it right and compare myself to someone who does it in my opinion already, or if I simple connect to me- how I would do it.

    1. Dear Steffihenn,
       “If I simply connect to me how would I do it”.
       These words hold within them the ability for each of us to allow our grace to guide us in our lives. They give to us our beingness. The ability to connect to our natural flow and to move in what we do, as everything we do is movement, with our tenderness and loving care.

95. Leigh, the timing of reading your blog has been perfect for me. I can completely relate to what you have written, the trying to get it right, it is something that I felt I had looked at yet recently but I have noticed how much I am still doing it and it doesn’t work. Reading your blog I realised just how many pockets of my life I focus on the getting it right which creates the tension and anxiety which need not be there and holds me back. Thank you for sharing this gem.

    1. So true Fionacochran01. This sneaky energy of getting it right really takes the shine off of who we are first. I have had a tendency to want to get it right in fear of being wrong. This just holds me away from myself even more and suffocates my natural lightness of being.

96. It seems that we’re all fuelling ourselves with the same ill patterns. I myself work on the ‘Doing it Right’, and so many other people I know as well. It’s very healing to meet people openly talking about this, so that we can be more observing of the energy that is around us all that feed us the same false ideals.

    1. So true Felix, we are all in this together and the same inside. Our struggles, dilemmas and patterns are indeed fed by the same ill energy. The more we voice with intent to understand and observe, the more clarity we get from one another to deal with it accordingly. No perfection needed, just reflection from one brother to another.

    2. Reading all the comments here I was feeling the same thing Felixschumacher. It’s an epidemic of “am I doing it right”. Where does this come from? Could it be that when we are born we simply just are, but as we grow older we realise that simply being does not cut it in the world, where we are judged and placed in society by what we do? We forget how to be and start to gauge our level of self-worth from what we do. But the problem comes from leaving our being behind in order to get into the doing, so in effect we are empty, so the doing becomes a futile attempt at trying to fill ourselves up again. The futility fuels the ‘I am not enough’ feeling because we can never fill ourselves up from doing – we set ourselves up to fail which then confirms the “I am not enough” ticker tape running through our heads. As Leigh has shared in her blog Universal Medicine presents how to stop, reconnect and allow ourselves to be. It’s tempting to complicate this, but when we do stop, accept and allow, as many have shared here, the tension drops from our bodies and there is a beautifully simple flow to life. It does take consistent commitment to say ‘no’ to the ticker tape and ‘yes’ to the simplicity of just being, but little by little this is becoming more ‘normal’ for me.

       1. Dear Lucy, the commitment to say no to the ticker tape and yes to the simpleness of who we are is the key. For many challenges arise in life, that unsettle us, but as I am discovering over the past few days, I have a choice on how I choose to be with myself as I walk through the challenge that is presented. Every time I choose my stillness and fullness of love, there is a feeling of simplicity and grace. A clearness in what to choose I am embracing just now.

97. I relate to this. In previous years, the sense of pre-empting everything was so strong I never allowed myself to enjoy presence (as I was always thinking ahead or critically thinking about myself).

    I feel it’s particularly well said here: “I can now feel how ridiculous it has been to live this way, and that it is much simpler to live responding as things arise – no longer feeling that I have to be pre–prepared for everything that will happen in my life.”

    As I become more consistent, more present, I trust myself more and with this, enables the trust that when something arises to look at or deal with, I can in that moment by continuing to be present.

    It’s great to have this sort of thing so well articulated Leigh, well done.

98. Thank you Leigh for this blog it is very revealing to me, as I realise this is what I have been doing, that is, always checking to see if I have got it right. I also now understand this can often lead me to comparing myself with others and then that can lead me to allow self doubt and lack of confidence feelings to enter my consciousness. I am just realising how ridiculous this is. After all there is no right or wrong, there is just the is, or the isn’t.

    1. Deidre, yes it is ridiculous, but it is also a long held pattern, that I still find the tentacles of. The love and grace within supports us to call it out wherever it appears, and slowly, we drop it and live our love for all to see and feel.

99. I can relate to the need to be pre-prepared to what is going to happen in life. Letting go of this is so freeing. We are always prepared, that is the beautiful thing. When we are connected and in the moment, there is nothing we need to prepare for, it’s all there, right under our nose.

100. amazing Lee. I always feel humbled when I express this level of honesty with myself, it is so rewarding to be observant, yet not attached to doing things the correct way. It is amazing to just allow ourselves to feel where we are at, and appreciate true love in our bodies, tenderness and a warmth that radiates out when we express our truth.

     1. So true Harry, even when we have had a full on day the moment we stop and surrender there it is, our love always present. Sometimes it takes a bit of honesty to own how our body feels, but as for our love, it always feels the same, warm full and holding us in it completeness.

101. Its quite amazing how much tension we can build in our bodies but trying to get things right, even when we try to be gentle!!! Such a great sharing about the importance of being who you truly are instead of doing the right things.

     1. Rachel,
        It has actually shown me just how much I had given my body over to the drive to be quick, get it right etc. Now that I truly choose to be still and work from there I can feel the insistence and push of the drive there as a choice and sometimes it takes a lot of will power to keep being still and choose my love in the face of this energy.

102. Brilliant Leigh – what a humungous trap this drive to do ‘things right’ is. This way of judgement and self-critique is pervasive but not true, or who we are. I love how you have opened the door to truly accept and nurture you, just as you are. Inspiring.

     1. There have been lots of doors that I have opened since writing this Joseph. Each one simply brings in more tenderness and love.

103. I was explaining to someone yesterday that the self-critical thought that we give ourselves is no different to actually slapping ourselves. Next time you experience self-criticism, stand in front of your mirror and slap yourself, it looks quite ridiculous.

     1. This is awesome Mathew and shows clearly how this way is so absurd. Heres to an end to slaps and smackdowns for each and everyone of us. For I know for me, that when I let this critique be, it also critiques others.

        1. Realising this Joseph has been a huge whammy, feeling the deep harm of criticism has certainly pulled up the self critic in me, making way for my soul to gently nudge me to lovingly support me.

     2. Matthew, this is brilliant and shows just how absurd it is that we allow the self-criticism (in my case) such a prominent stage in our thoughts or any stage whatsoever. We would not accept it from anyone else so why then would we do it to ourselves. In writing this I can feel the enormity we hold in responsibility for our thoughts, if we are judgemental of another we are feeding this spiral of negativity and on the game goes. I can feel that my responsibility to stop my negative thoughts is not just for me, although this is a good place to start but it is for all, to change our patterns of self sabotage that we are all or have been familiar with.

        1. Well said Fionacochran01, stopping self criticism is for all. I have come to deeply feel the truth, that how we treat ourselves, is how we treat others, and it really hurts to feel how when living self critical, we criticise others. It was in feeling this, that I began to make the choice time and again, and still do, to be with and love my body. From this solid foundation, I now feel love for others and the way I communicate now is with tenderness, and honesty and a deep love for all.

104. What a great post Leigh, I can relate to much of this in regards the checking to ensure I’m doing something right, or more to the point – that I’m not getting it wrong, and by default failing and therefore never quite good enough to ‘make the grade’. This was in education, and at work too. What a depleting way to be. When we allow the naturalness of us to be, and accept this innate worth without measure, then there is no checking as you share, but more a developing self-awareness of how we are, and with this comes confirmation and or affirmation that grows into full appreciation.

     1. When we allow the naturalness of ourselves to be. Yes this is it, I am getting to know my natural self again and I must say that it really is a pleasure, I am fun, playful, engaging an so very full of light. It is so much easier to catch my sneaky old patterns as my connection to my natural self developes and grows.

     2. Yes letting of our fear of failure allows us to build a true relationship with ourselves and the opportunity to confirm and appreciate ourselves and all we have to offer.

105. ‘a simple awareness and “wow, there too” kind of feeling… an appreciation of seeing another area I can work with and an acceptance of it, ‘ I like that Lee, so much better then beating yourself up with the ‘not good enough’ game.

106. I too am very familiar with that trap of wanting to get things right, the ideal of perfection and have been very surprised at realising how much of my life it was running through. I am now able to except my imperfections and actually appreciate them, for they are the ways that I get to learn and become more aware about myself, I actually see them as blessings, and a confirmation that I am deepening my relationship with myself. This leaves a completely different feeling in my body compared to the judgement and criticism in the past.

     1. I can relate to that. Life becomes so much lighter and more playful with the appreciation and willingness to learn and go deeper with ourselves.

107. What an awesome blog! I can relate very much to this article and it is so timely as recently I have been connecting to myself and then comparing it to how I had been feeling when I attended a Universal Medicine workshop. Realizing from reading this blog, I see now how I have been living in a way of how I should feel instead of simply allowing myself to feel what is there to be felt in any moment. What a revelation! I appreciate very much Leigh’s sharing.

     1. Dear Caroline, life is so truly joyful when I let go and live feeling each and every moment. Yes I do feel the not so nice stuff, yet it is simply that I feel it is there, but know deeply it is not me. This is a miracle of such a mountainous degree for me. I was so caught in needing to be perfect, that I used to think that everything I felt was me not being perfect. Yep you can imagine how horrible this was to live, and yes I do still find pockets of this yet to heal. But to now realise and feel the truth that I am so delicate and harmonious inside, there are not words to describe how beautiful this feels. Just today I have felt a new level of freedom that I had not connected to before and the feeling of this is, superb.

        1. ”I was so caught in needing to be perfect, that I used to think that everything I felt was me not being perfect”. These words brought tears to my eyes as I too had been bought into this ideal big time. The feelings that would arise made me feel that something was wrong with me… I now know it was simply a lack of not feeling good enough. It is so freeing for me to expose this. As I feel the not so nice stuff, I too know deeply inside me that it is not me and it feels great simply to nominate that which is not me.

108. It is really beautiful that you were able to expose this tension-creating ideal within yourself and share what you have learnt – life sounds extraordinary without it holding you back from truly feeling where you are and what you are feeling. Awesome.

     1. Dear Samantha, living without holding back is a work in progress, one that I am still mastering. Each day reveals to me yet another way that I have held back. To discover that it has been affecting the simplest of tasks has been a magnificent gift to me, offering to me the choice to let the flow of harmony that I am to be the way I go about what I do each day.

109. We will never get totally rid of tension. Yet, the tension that is generated by a fear of not doing it right that leads to action under the self-controlling mood only perpetuates tension that feeds the fear. In my experience, such fear can also lead to in-action as well; another way to perpetuate the tension. One way or another, letting go is just magnificent.

     1. Dear Emfeldman,
        It is the in-action that I personally have to keep an eye on just now. I feel deeply that surrendering to my body is beginning to reveal the reason for the inaction that I have been living with recently. I feel that it is a level of self loathing that I have not yet let myself feel in full. The harm that we impose upon ourselves can be way worse than the harm we feel from another. As I write this I can feel my body beginning to lighten and my breath deepen. In-action is now on its way out. Thank you for your comment, it has allowed me to go deeper into understanding my own in-action.

110. This blog is awesome Leigh! I often find myself going into ‘trying to get it right’ as well, although I never really noticed just how much this invited tension into my body. I will be looking deeper into this and will be coming back for another read 🙂

111. I can appreciate the point you have brought up about trying to get things right, I am my harshest critic and your blog highlights the harm it causes, so thanks for expressing this Leigh

112. I can feel that trying to get things right and not wanting to make any mistakes is such a big trap and keeps us away from feeling what is truly going on.

113. Such a beautiful unfolding Leigh. I can absolutely relate to all you have said and am quite shocked that I too live my life in this way – hardness and tension from needing to be a certain way. Even if that certain way is supposed to be loving and gentle I go about it with frustration and self judgement that I am not doing it right. It’s so true, as sit here and understand this more I can see how this way has creeped into all facets of my life. Thank you for sharing this awareness.

     1. Dear Revans917,
        Just this last week I found myself in this pattern again. I feel so blessed that I can now feel that it is not the true me, however this time around I found it difficult to let go of. What has supported me is making the choice to surrender to my body, finally today I can feel what it was that I was letting keep me in the old pattern and today has truly been a joy to live.

114. The Gentle Breath is a way of life for me now as well. If I feel my breath change, I know I am ‘off’ and need to come back to myself, which is so easy when you know how to connect through a simple breathing technique. Total life changer – and a great example for me is if I get a fright or shock of any description, I immediately go to my breath, ensuring that it is gentle, and I am instantly still again.

     1. Jo, thank you for sharing this, I read your comment a few days ago and since I have paid more attention to my breath, especially when I am feeling a bit stressed and have noticed too that my breath changes when I go into this. Your comment has truly supported me to come back by connecting again to my breath and choosing to breath gently. Like you say, I too feel still again straight away.

        1. That’s awesome Leigh – the gentle breath is the key for me – a great marker in the body and always a reflection that something has affected me if my breath changes.

     2. Me too Jo, my breath is my ‘tell’ and if I can check in to it it will show me if my breathing is very shallow which for me is anxious, or deep and steady which is my normal. Getting a fright is a great example where just checking in with the breath can be the most amazing support.

115. This is an amazing blog Leigh.. there are so many moments in my life where I am trying to get it right.. and like you have said, if I’m not feeling as lovely as I would at a course run by Universal Medicine then I judge it as not being it or being wrong. Great to have more of an understanding from this blog.

116. This way of being gentle and allowing ourselves to breathe gently without the critique leaves no room for anxiousness about the future. There are many blessings in your blog Leigh!

117. Leigh A friend of my sent me your blog after we had a recent conversation of feeling oneself in everyday life and being aware of what the feelings are, before we discard them into the too hard basket. As I reread your blog it has taken me into the beautiful awareness of just being me. Your words of responding to how things are and just responding as they arise, no preparation needed, just being. Thank you Leigh.

118. Thank you for this great appreciation of the gentle breath Leigh, and how we sabotage ourselves by wanting to get it right. I can’t be reminded often enough about the loveliness of returning to the gentle breath.

119. Leigh I really loved your words, I hadn’t realised I also had this tension so just reading your story allowed me to connect to the same thing in me, feel it, and release it. Needing to get things right feels like it’s been with me for a long time, long enough for it to feel very familiar and an indiscernible part of me. Your blog provided much needed awareness and I look forward now to also finding it in other areas of how I approach life and lovingly noticing and letting it go. Just reading your blog and writing here has already released an enormous amount of tension, so thank you very much for sharing.

     1. Melinda this is something that I am continuing to unravel for myself. One thing that has been standing out to me lately is how much the wanting to get things right had snuck into my rhythm. I have been feeling this tension when I have been going about my household chores. On feeling into it there was still an aspect of wanting to do them tenderly, instead of doing them with tenderness. With this realisation and with the deepest love for my body, I make the choice to move with tenderness first and foremost, this is so powerful, with my love for me present in my body, any movement is exquisite. Even the vacuuming.

120. As I read your blog Leigh, I could feel my body letting go in different areas. Recognising and remembering the amazing feeling it is to just let ourselves breathe a gentle breath and let the body breathe, it is so incredibly underrated.

121. I can totally relate to the frustration of not feeling like you’re getting it right. I notice this about myself constantly. I’m always going into comparison with someone elses ‘right’, and it’s simply just a trap. My right doesn’t look like your right, and that’s ok. Doesn’t mean my right isn’t right. right?
     Learning to appreciate my own process and evolution is the ticket, and yes, there is a lot of back and forth going on, but that’s all part of it.

     1. Such a trap it is to compare our right to anothers, giving a little more credit to theirs because we think we are not as good as them. Yes our right for us is the only right that we can stand 100% behind, with every ounce of our being, because we have our livingness in our body that supports this. We can never stand behind anothers right with the same level of support. Simply writing this is a healing for me, it is offering to me the possibility that each of us, when coming from love may be doing similar things, yet there will be differences in how we do them as each of our lives are very different in our jobs, family, rhythm etc. So yes it is so very important to feel what it is that truly supports me and to go for it, no confirmation needed, as I have already felt it was needed for me.

        1. It’s the “giving a little more credit to theirs because we think we are not as good as them.” that I find to be the absolute killer for me. I have so often thought that if I am involved in something then it automatically isn’t as good as it would be if I wasn’t. Comparison is deadly and has no place in a loving way of life. What is right for one may not be for the next and the way we all express is so completely unique that to compare ourselves to another is a set up to keep ourselves very small.

        2. Yep, so true leighstrack. ‘giving a little more credit to others because we think we are not as good as them.’ – Exactly what is going on for me often and so many I’m sure.

     2. That’s right Elodie, just because your right might not look like my right, it doesn’t mean your right is not right, or that my rights not right, its all, all right!

        1. Ha! Well said Lisa.

        2. Ha! yeah – What a circus we can make of things right?

122. I can totally relate here Leigh to what you are saying about the tension that arises from constantly checking and trying to get things right in life and for me this is usually based on constantly watching what kind of reaction I get from other people, rather than simply saying and doing what I feel to say and do. It feels very exhausting to live this way!

     1. Yes being constantly on guard for how others might react is exhausting. No wonder exhaustion is a world wide plague, for me, the solution is simply choosing to breath gently, and to not hold judgement towards ourselves or others.

123. Even your blog is infused with the gentleness you are now living with – it’s very lovely. You make some great points about being perfect and getting it right and how this can be a silent dictator in our day to day lives – I am inspired by the power you have claimed in choosing to live with more awareness and deepening your connection to yourself – onwards and inwards we go!

124. Wanting to do it right, that’s a familiar one. I am learning there is not ‘a right way of doing something’, but that I can do the things in my own way, with my own expression and in the way that feels true for me.

125. Living without the 10 out of 10 for perfection can make life so much easier and fun, gives us room to lighten up it’s great reminder

126. Thank you Ben

127. Thank you Leigh for bringing the ‘get it right’ issue to the surface. I feel I do relate to this checking as well and can now feel how this checking holds me in a mould that does not leave me free to express the fullness of my being. Instead it makes me continue to feel less and not enough. How awful this is. I also know the feeling when this checking is less active in me and that from there I share my joy and playfulness in everything I express and then there is also the compassion to myself and others when something that is not true tries to come in the fore.

128. I love reading this blog Leigh, I at moments find it easy to get caught up in getting it right and being perfect all the time. I am learning now that trying to be perfect and getting it right make me go out of the moment that I am in and into my head. At such a moment I do not enjoy feeling my body and me which is actually in truth the only thing I want to do at any moment. I am learning like you to just let myself be and that is pretty amazing.

     1. Dear Lieke, amazing is how it is to live, letting myself, and others be, how it is to live with my love in my body. Living this way is absolutely exquisite.

129. It’s quite amazing how used to tension we get that we can’t even feel that it is there. The gentle breath meditation is an incredible tool to feel what is really being held in our bodies, and let it go.

130. We truly are our harshest critics

     1. Dear Joshua,
        We are also out biggest support.

        1. Beautiful Leighstrack. And so completely true

        2. 🙂 Yes we are!

     2. Absolutely Joshua and just reading that alerts me to the tension I’m holding in my jaw. So uncomfortable. It’s really time to let go!

131. Thanks Leigh, your blog is very helpful. I too have struggled at times with trying too hard at many things, including the gentle breath. Putting that ‘trying to get it right’ energy into just being me just feels so much better.

132. Its beautiful that you have stopped self bashing. That’s something important for me also. Your tenderness is felt deeply. (:

133. So much of life is about getting it right, if it’s not right it’s wrong. At school you get a tick if the answer is right and a nasty cross if it’s wrong. We are set up very early on in our lives to try and get as many ticks as possible, the more ticks, the better we are…so so wrong. We must introduce the love of ourselves first before we tackle the pressures of life and its twisted way of drowning us in the ‘rights and wrongs’ and the ‘goods and bads’.

     1. very true Matthew! Your wisdom is awesome!

     2. I had an experience yesterday where I was with a group of kindy children and they were read “My #1 Job” by Tania Curtis and Deseree Delaloy. I watched the children. Some were totally engrossed in the reading, some were fidigity. All though held themselves for a moment in that their #1 Job is to love themselves. Listening to the children’s responses it really shocked me how, even at this tender age children are already conditioned that life is about what they do, and needing to please others. I was blessed with great understanding in having this experience.

     3. ‘We must introduce the love of ourselves first before we tackle the pressures of life and its twisted way of drowning us in the ‘rights and wrongs’ and the ‘goods and bads’.’ Well put matthew.

     4. Yuk! You’re spot on Matthew. Every single thing we do is measured. There is always a comparison to be made. It’s no wonder we find it hard to settle into our bodies because we are always competing with right and good.

134. Leigh, I can really relate to what you have written here. It sounds silly but I have been living in fear of getting it wrong and so I always feel the tension. When nothing is wrong with me it’s a silly way to live. Recognizing the ways like this that we disable ourselves is very empowering. Universal Medicine workshops are great for bringing awareness to these patterns and putting a halt to the behavior as you have done Leigh.

135. Evolving isn’t it wonderful to feel the changes we can make in ourselves – I have just felt while reading this Leigh that I am doing the same thing as you have described, thank you for sharing your experience.

136. Leigh this has been an amazing healing blog for me. There is so very much that came from reading and feeling into what has been written here. I lived always feeling that everything had to be done a certain way and that I was responsible if things were not done right, always on guard trying to do or say the right thing. Your line: “I can now feel how ridiculous it has been to live this way and that it is much simpler to live responding as things arise – no longer feeling that I have to be pre-prepared for everything that will happen in my life.” Many thanks Leigh.

137. Wow, I can super relate to the wanting to get things right. Even as I say that I can feel the top of my back tense up. I didn’t realise how apparent it was until now.

138. This is a great blog Leigh, thank you. My flavour of the ‘get it right’ ideal is ‘to make it work’. I am slowly dismantling this one and just letting things be. Trying to make things work is so exhausting, especially when they are never actually meant to ‘work’ in the way I think. I have had to let a lot of things go recently because I have realised that the way things work has nothing to do with an ideal, it has to do with a feeling. Letting go has provided me with the space to really feel what there is to do and say, honouring my body through divine timing rather than the push that came with my old way of being. I am now recovering from the exhaustion that built up in my body from all the effort expended into ‘making things work’. My body is certainly telling me it is not the way to be and it is an unfolding process of me continually listening to what it is saying to me.

139. The way of living you discribe is very known to me, And as I have felt it is such contracting way of living. Everything needed to be right before I did or said anything. I can now feel how this way of being is only to keep myself less than others, and have seen that I am not and can express all that I feel and am, and that I can make a mistake, but that I always have the choice to come back.

     1. Dear Benkt, I love how accepting you are, that you express fully and if you make a mistake, that you know deeply you have the choice to come back. What I am feeling is that in my mistakes there is great learning, always, by surrendering to my body I feel the understanding that lead to the mistake and I then feel equipped for next time a similar circumstance rises.

140. Wow Leigh – your blog has really struck a chord with me as reading this, I have realised that this is what I also do. Always checking to see if “I have got it right” with everything in life. As I sit with this, I can feel how this keeps me in the ‘doing’ opposed to just
     ‘being’ and I can feel how it creates an underlying anxiousness in everything. Thank you for sharing your story, I’m intrigued to see how this unfolds for me.

     1. Hi Donna, I know the anxiousness that you talk about very well, I still feel this anxious at times, however it is lessening. A true miracle. My personal challenge is to hold myself equal with all, because the moment I don’t life becomes complicated and in the complication I feel the anxiousness rise.

141. Wow I loved the points you raised about this constant inner critique many of us run with, rather than a deep surrender of allowing ourselves to connect and simply be whom we naturally are. Thank you Leigh for sharing your experiences with this.

142. We can be so hard on ourselves, searching for imperfections and looking for excuses to ‘pounce’ on ourselves with judgements and put-downs. So freeing to let go of all that mental analysis and allow the body to just be. Thanks for an inspiring blog Leigh.

143. Giving ourselves the time to get to know ourselves through connecting to our own breath and listening to our bodies allows so many of our habits and beliefs to be exposed, it is magic and yet so beautifully simple.

     1. Dear Samantha, giving ourselves time to get to know ourselves, my goodness, what powerful words. I never stopped to even contemplate that I had not known my self, yet I hadn’t. All I had known was this constant stressful anxious pressure to try to be what I thought I had to be. Now I do know myself, the level of how deeply I know me is constantly deepening, and in this deepening, even more of the old pressure is exposed as you say. The absoluteness of this process is the most rewarding way to live, in fact with out it I can honestly say I was not living.

144. I love, love, love this blog Leigh, I can so relate to everything said, it just makes so much sense, I too have spent lifetimes ‘checking in’ , am I doing this right, what about that, am I saying the right thing and so much more and I absolutely agree is it so debilitating, draining and exhausting and takes me away from living the real me. It’s like I am constantly on edge of not getting it right and the consequences of that – which are all constructs I have have made up in my head. This constant trying or seeking perfection is the thing that keeps me separated from me and other people if I am honest too. The always, am I good enough, is what I do good enough, worrying about what I said, which is so damaging and destroying and most of all I and everyone else misses out on the truth – the loveliness, truth, joy, sweetness, power and playfulness that I really am. But what I now ask myself, is it something I actually use as a way to protect myself, stay small and keep people out? If I judge myself and play these games, then am I doing the same with those I meet? And if so is this not just all a big game to stop us knowing who we really are?

     1. I love your questions at the end of your comment Gyl. The playing small is definitely behind much in my life. What I ask now is what am I gaining by doing this, what do I get from it and how does this keep me in the pattern of it? My immediate understanding is by playing small I ruffle less feathers, so am more likely to be accepted. So why do I need acceptance? Because I feel vulnerable otherwise. This brings me deeply to an underlying cause to my pattern. My pattern of playing small keeps me from feeling my vulnerability. A very very stilling and powerful realisation. Thank you.

145. Thank you Leigh, I enjoyed reading how you came to accept yourself and then felt to share this with this world.

146. Dear Leigh, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with this wonderful blog.
     I can so well relate to everything you share and I am just allowing myself to feel what is really going on in each and every moment. My head wants to be overwhelmed and fearful by how much more loving, respectful true I could live, but deep inside of me I am simply thankful in a way that I cannot find the words for, as this finally feels like freedom and becoming still and independent of anyone or anything and connecting to what is truly my task here on earth.

147. I feel this blog is a biggy for me as I can totally relate to what you have shared Leigh. Not just in the self-constriction of perfection (as that is how I have felt it to be – like a huge cage of should be’s and do’s and shouldn’t be’s and do’s controlling my every movement, through, word – my whole life!) but the simplicity and power in that choice to just say ” I chose to simply be with myself, to breathe and enjoy my breath.” and the power that has in it’s repetition. Reading this has felt like a support to say ‘Keep doing what feels supportive, it does pay off in time’ even if at times I allow thoughts to make me believe that nothing is changing just because of this ‘expecting a magic wand-style overnight change’ to come that in reality will never materialise. Thank you 🙂

     1. Dear Leigh, you are right, there is no magic wand or overnight change. For me it is a daily commitment to choose my love. Some days doing this is more difficult than others, on those difficult days, I focus on being super tender, loving and caring of myself. I have found this to be so very supportive.

148. There is no ‘the right way’, there is ‘my’ way of livingness.
     I find out more and more, we can not put anything in a form of how it should be or look like. It is indeed fluid, like a dance with the soul. Never stopping, never blocking, ever evolving.

     1. This is exactly what I am experiencing as well. For me an enfoldment, no ‘right way’ but what is ‘my’ way. I love the image of a dance. It has a rhythm, but is not stuck to one form. If it does, it becomes formal, structured and a doing. So let’s dance this life rather than do it.

149. Thank you for sharing your blog Leigh.Isn’t it beautifully freeing to just be who you are, not trying, and not struggling to be something more? The most natural thing to be is your self , to breathe your own breath, to be your breath and then be breathed.

150. Leigh what a great blog. I too am constantly vigilant of myself to see whether I’m doing things right. The irony is that when I am connected I feel amazing and so natural but then I choose the checking because this way of living is far too easy I must be doing something wrong! -my life is hard belief.

     Your blog is so supportive for me. I can now say actually, life need not be a struggle. I need not be afraid to just be. Afraid that any moment I’ll get shouted at and hurt. I’ve lived in a state of constant anxiety always on the ready, always trying to be perfect. How about letting myself be and accept that I do actually make mistakes but be there for myself if I do rather than be self -critical.

     1. Dear Karin,
        I love where you say about letting yourself be and accept that we do make mistakes, but to be there for ourselves. This is something that I am now choosing much more in my livingness. What is opening for me to understand more fully is just how much more supportive I feel towards others since I have been supporting myself.

151. I can totally relate to this! For my whole life I have been trying to do things “the right way”. Now it is so awesome to consider that just feeling ‘me’ when I do it is enough and I actually enjoy myself a lot more.Thank you for sharing your blog. 😀

152. Just doing it and not thinking or judging about it – very powerful! I like how you describe how it kept you in the unworthiness, because you could never match up to what you thought or wanted.

153. This trying to be good thing keeps rearing it’s ugly head. It would be amazing to just trust that I am enough without the worry of am I getting it right? It is surely time to truly let it go and to just be.

     1. What helps me Michelle is realizing that when with my love the ideals and beliefs that I hold don’t resonate in the same energy as my love does. Knowing this is supporting me to accept my self and truly appreciate the love that I am. This is making it so much easier to discern the difference between the trying and the simple-ness of being.

     2. Dear Amanda, I have found that gentle exercise supports me greatly. As in doing the exercise my body feels strong and vital, so it is much easier for me to stay with my body, because I (mostly) like how my body feels, and I actually want to be in it and fully support it. This has given me a beautiful platform to begin to trust me again.

154. Wow what a sharing, thank you. I mostly spend my time ‘checking if I am doing something right’ only the truth is there is no ‘right way’ except that I hold ideas that I should always be more, do more, do it better etc. Rarely will I allow myself to just be enough. Lovely reminder to stop being so hard on ourselves and to not expect perfection in everything we do. I have had moments of accepting me and in those moments I too feel the tension in my body ease.

155. “I had myself under this constant surveillance (tension) wanting to be gentle, always checking to see if I had been gentle, instead of simply choosing to be gentle.
     ” and that it is much simpler to live responding as things arise – no longer feeling that I have to be pre–prepared for everything that will happen in my life.”
     Leigh, I feel as if I have just had a huge healing session just reading your blog. So many things that you have said are patterns that I had also been in, but have been letting go of.
     And as you said – just say “Oh” there is another one.
     And just let it go.

     1. Dear miss spring clean, what I have learned and am deepening each and every day is that thinking oh, just another one and to let it go, was simply the beginning of a much deeper understanding for myself. It paved the way for me to begin to actually live this way. Realizing that what was being revealed in no way resonated with the warmth, love and tenderness that I hold within, this makes things easy to let go of.

156. “It is much simpler to live responding as things arise – no longer feeling that I have to be pre–prepared for everything that will happen in my life”. I recognise this Leigh, I always had to over prepare, which is a way of trying to control everything, mainly because I did not feel enough as I was and felt deeply insecure.

     1. Me to Jacmcfadden, the control is a hugie and for me it has not been ah ok I get it and it is all gone. It continues to be a day by day commitment to my love, this is showing me so many areas where I have been doing the controlling thing, just today another aspect of this was exposed for me to see. It was so very sneaky this one, but even the sneakiness is no match for love.

157. This is a great testament to how much self awareness we can have without judgement or criticism.

158. Striving for perfection, to be liked, to be accepted is in so much more of our day to day than we realise. In the pursuit of perfection I find I hold myself back from doing things so that I don’t get them wrong or look silly. This is a trap that means I don’t live my potential.

     1. You make a great point Kate, one that I can totally relate to. This not doing things in case I make a mistake or look silly is something that has been plaguing me recently and I have just begun to cut it and step out of my comfort zone. The thing is, as I do this I feel amazing. My body is fully supporting me here, showing me yet another way that the tension builds in my body. Whenever I don’t simply step up in full, immediately I feel the tension of holding this back.

159. It’s a great point you bring up about the ideal of ‘perfection’. I was with a group of women recently and we were discussing how this ideal of perfection is a dis-ease many of us carry without even realizing it.

160. I could feel the ease in my body as you described letting go of the tension of doing things right – it is such a trap, thinking that there is some perfect recipe for doing things the right way. ..whereas really the harmony of perfection is just being me….in full.

161. I have come back to this blog today as yesterday, after reading it, I became much more aware of my breath throughout the day and have an observation. On rising I found that my breath was easy and rhythmic and gentle, and all I had to do was to observe it and enjoy it. As the day went on and I became more occupied I brought my attention to it again and discovered the beautiful rhythm had gone and the breaths were hard and pushing. So there was work to be done before I continued my tasks. That is when I discovered I go into trying to put it right. It became counter productive to stop to gentle breathe, instead I chose to connect with how my body felt and slow my pace and become more aware of myself in the present of what I was doing, and slowly my natural breath began to return. This really demonstrated to me how damaging trying is, and how body awareness and breath are inextricably linked.

162. Lovely, Leigh. A great reminder to stay with what’s real rather than protecting myself with trying to get it right.

     1. Joel, yes it is about protection, the getting it right scenario. For me dropping the need to protect self has allowed me to respond so much more truthfully and clearly to situations.

163. Thanks Leigh for writing this, I felt the tension I was holding in my body while reading this, it is amazing to feel how much this can be released by creating awareness that this is going on. My feeling is this tension links to the desire to get things right, rather than just being myself and allowing things to happen.

164. Wow, Leigh! I almost bypassed your blog thinking that I had just done some gentle breathing – been there done that. ‘Something’ made me pause in my search for a blog to comment on and I backtracked to yours. I am so glad that I did. I am now aware of what I was doing. I was aware of something hovering for a few weeks and I couldn’t get a handle on what was going on – I just knew there was tension in the body and couldn’t work out why. And you provided the answer! Oh, the pain in trying to get it always right – whatever the ‘it’ was – gentle breath, exercising, walking, commenting on blogs, being present, stillness, quality of my being and the list goes on! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

     1. My pleasure Janne, big smiles from me. So beautiful to read your comment and how so awesome are you that you were brought to exactly what you needed. How much you have to appreciate here. This is something that I am living and forming a greater appreciation for each day. Always, what I need to help me evolve, is there. Sometimes it takes me a day, week, month 🙂 to see it, but never is it not there waiting for me.

165. Thank you, Leigh. I found reading your blog very healing, as I could also recognise a checking-to-see-if-I-am-doing-it-correct pattern in myself. “Knowing deeply that it is no longer my way of living” – this is my favourite line. Such a supportive, loving, allowing phrase. I will remember this, too.

166. I love the awareness that if we are playing out an old pattern in one area of our life, we can be sure it will be across the board. So when we address it and start to choose a different way, we are not only healing that one area, but ALL areas…This is true healing.

167. How true Leigh, “it is much simpler to live responding as things arise – no longer feeling that I have to be pre–prepared for everything that will happen in my life”. This is a lovely reminder, as when we are simply allowing ourselves to be we can respond rather than react to what we are feeling.

168. Leigh, we can judge ourselves so harshly sometimes and I find this really hurts me. The gentle breath is such a gift for us to bring ourselves back, and to feel, who we truly are. I am making this much more a part of my day and my life now and accept that some days my breath feels so easy and on other days I am more blocked. I accept that both are okay, as they are reflections of me at any given time!

     1. So beautiful Anne, I too am accepting how I am at any given moment, the power in this is amazing. Just today I found myself feeling so very angry. Once upon a time I would have then spent weeks berating myself for being this way. Today I simply acknowledged and fully accepted it. What happened next was amazing, I instantly understood why I was feeling this way. And immediately, with the understanding my body relaxed and I could completely let the anger go. How so very powerful we are when we are accepting. Even more powerful when we fully appreciate the beauty full acceptance brings.

169. It’s an awesome revelation when we feel how much tension we have carried in our bodies as a result of unattainable ideals like “getting it right” or “perfection.” Great to hear how you mastered both of these impostors, Leigh.

170. This is such a beautiful exposure of the trap we often fall into, experiencing something that feels right to us the first time we are introduced to it, and thereafter “trying to get it right”. But it is never the same twice, especially if we are trying. I agree, when I remember to stop and observe and feel, the breath is there for me, gentle and rhythmic. It is always there even when I choose not to notice it, and the rhythm of the breath is a living stillness that brings that flood of warmth to my whole body. Thank you for your blog, Leigh, it helps us all to come back to the simplicity of just observing the breath.

171. Thanks Leigh, I too can relate to this way of being and it is such a controlled way of living when we constantly measure and compare the way we do things. How freeing to be able to just let this ideal go and be -be who we really are- there is no space for tension there.

172. You raise an important point here Leigh, the difference between needing to DO the Gentle Breath right or just CHOOSE it. Subtle but huge difference. I have a similar pattern which I am unraveling. Being in a doingness, the feeling of not doing enough = I am not enough. I found out that when I connect to me via the Gentle Breath Meditation there is just me and my stillness. No need for any drive or doingness anymore, just expressing from that stillness.

     1. Dear Caroline, yes expressing from our stillness. I am finding for myself that in living this that I have so much more time, I am doing more, yet feeling less exhausted than ever. Each day I feel that my stillness deepens and then I find yet more space to do more again. For me this is a most amazing experience and a most delightful way to live.

173. Leigh – You reminded me of the ‘get it right’ obsession in my early days, and I realised how joyful my life is now that the gentle breath and gentleness are simply part of my everyday life.

174. Thanks Leigh, I enjoyed reading your blog. It reminded me what a simple, but wonderful, gift we have been given: to be able to feel ourselves more deeply through the gentle breath. That is true magic, allowing us to feel that which is in the way of us being our true selves, and it is there for all of us, all the time – how beautiful is that?!!

175. Thank you for sharing this Leigh, it is so easy to get caught up in ‘trying to be right’ instead of simply doing it.

176. This is gold and the thing that stuck out the most for me is how stuck we can get from looking and checking with anything outside ourselves, to see if it is OK. If we check our quality of being with our own body, we get the honesty, as in: “you can go deeper”, “that was a deeper level of gentleness than previously experienced”, and so on…

177. Leigh, I feel I have suffered from ‘wanting to get it right’ instead of ‘just allowing it’ in many aspects of my life. Greater self-awareness has assisted me to let go of this tendency and, as you point out, being gentle seems to be the perfect way into that allowing. With thanks.

178. How exhausting trying to live up to what we think we have to be instead of just being ourselves

     1. Very exhausting I would say… but how many of us think the way we are is easy when at the same time we complain about our life. Doesn’t sound easy to me.

179. I can so relate to that feeling of wanting to get it right and in doing so getting it so wrong. This is a great blog Leigh and a great reminder that getting it right or perfection is not necessary but as you say “that it is much simpler to live responding as things arise – no longer feeling that I have to be pre–prepared for everything that will happen in my life.”

180. Thank you Leigh. All my life I have been trapped with the ‘getting it right’ tension. When I first started the Gentle Breath Meditation I found it very difficult to deeply connect to my inner self as I always had half an eye, or my antennae, checking in to see if I was ‘doing it right’. Gradually letting go of this constriction has allowed me to connect deeper and deeper to me and the delicious feeling that flows through my body.

181. Thanks Leigh for your blog. Your words “just stop trying to get it right” how powerful is that, instead of just being gentle and going about your day in awareness of one’s presence.

182. One of the favorite moments during the day is when I am in class doing my work or listening to the teacher and then all of a sudden I just become aware of my breathing. I start to feel the pull of inhaling and exhaling, I feel the warmth of the air on my skin and how fast or slow it comes out. A very beautiful reminder of how deeply tender I am as a woman.

183. Leigh I totally relate to the trap of “getting it right” It get’s in the way of so many things and is also the perfect excuse not to do anything. It is amazing how often that tension just creeps into to the body.

184. Great blog Leigh, it’s so easy to get caught in the getting it right. I too have grown up with having to get things right for recognition and can completely understand the tension you mention. But as you say the gentle breath has been an amzing support for me as I learnt to reconnect to myself and my body. Now i have built into my rhythm to breath gently. If I feel tension in my body I bring my attention to my breath.

185. How honest and aware – identifying the sneakiness to distract in the name of ‘bringing in gentleness’. I am noticing as I read your blog Leigh, that, one minute my head is itching, another moment I feel uncomfortable on the chair, and then I am feeling weary. All this is going on to take me away from being completely here and with my breath. Thanks for increasing my awareness of how subtle the distractions can be when opening to be truly present.

186. Great article Leigh. I have found the same, there is a level of honesty the gentle breath can help to develop that, unlocks layers of tensions carried for years (lifetimes), if you are willing to be honest about what you feel.

187. What a lovely turn around, from checking on yourself to checking in with yourself. I have found that just stopping, taking time to breath gently and let myself feel is a wonderful way to check-in and review where I am at and the beauty is I can do it any time anywhere. In this way I can come back to myself and my body and develop a way of living that is more harmonious and less reactive which I am certain is much better for my health.

188. I could feel an old familiar tension in my body as I read about ‘getting it right’. I know at times I have struggled with the concept of ‘choosing’ what is already in my body. It seems I have spent so much of my life trying to get somewhere, to get things right and it has been challenging to let go of this striving. But I know in my body that the gentleness and love are already there, waiting for me to stop doing and trying and to just be me.

189. A lovely reminder that trying to get something ‘right’ doesn’t work…just being ourselves is all that’s needed.

190. I too, have been caught in the trap of constantly checking up on myself, and trying to “get it right”.As you say Leigh,this creates tension within my body. To catch this ideal and how it impacts my life is a work in progress.

     1. Well said Elizabeth and Leigh it really does create tension and you are setting yourself up to fall before you have even begun the day! I totally agree its a daily progress in seeing where you going into it and saying ahhh thats that ‘perfect person’ I’m expecting myself to be and letting it go.

191. HI Leigh, I can completely relate to what you have written. I spent a whole life trying to get it right until finally I discovered that I AM right!!! Meaning, just to be me is all that is required, and all this other stuff was me trying to be something other than what I was. Hard to explain other than to say it is all SO SIMPLE and when the noise stopped I had to wonder what was that all about? I recently discovered a great new website Unimed Living where they offer lots of information about the Gentle Breath Meditation and a whole selection of free Gentle Breath Meditations that can downloaded too.

192. Deeply honest and very inspiring. I very much relate to what you have discussed here and can now bring my awareness to this too.

193. “I had been living in the belief that I was not good enough.” I so get this Leigh, as I’m sure many do, and what I now know is this is simply not true. It’s amazing to read your blog and all the comments that follow.

194. I like the fact that you call this way of thinking and trying to get it right a ‘trap’, because it is just that. When I go into self doubt and try to get it right, it is like being in quick sand, the more I struggle the more I go in. Yet when I stop trying to do it right and just let myself be, I magically start to come out of the quick sand – it happens naturally with no effort.

195. Trying to ‘get it right’ does cause a lot of tension and this is so exhausting, something that has been really familiar with me too. I have noticed that when I’m present with what I’m doing I actually don’t have to try. The gentle breath meditation is one of the ways I have been able to bring my focus to exactly what I’m doing – something that can be easily done at any moment to bring presence back to any situation like talking to someone, driving, cooking, exercising.

196. What a gorgeous blog Leigh and also a very timely and confirming read for me as recently I have become aware of how I too have been doing this. Your experience has supported me to feel this even more deeply. Thank you.

197. It is so great that you ‘outed’ the pattern of having yourself constantly under surveillance, always checking and judging what you are doing. This tension is familiar to me too, and all the judgement, comparison and trying is exhausting kept me far away from the joy of simply being me for many years.

198. It’s amazing to feel when we let go of the self doubt. I often wonder how much could be achieved by removing the voices of self doubt from my head and the need to check that everything is alright. Thanks for your blog Leigh.

199. Great to read this again Leigh. Has brought me back to deepen my awareness and letting go of the ‘getting it right trap’. A great reminder.

200. Pingback: The Gentle Breath Meditation, Being Gentle and ‘Doing the Right Thing’ |

201. I can so relate to wanting to do it right. I find myself looking at others or comparing to see if I am doing it right. For most of my life, I have been very strict on myself, always having this belief that I can be more, that I can be better, more loving, more gentle, more this or more that. I have experienced that you never really relax and yes indeed, there is then this tension or even more like an anxious feeling. I have learned that this tension is now a marker for me, a point of reference, which shows me, ‘hey Mariette, what’s up?’ and then I stop for a moment to see what is going on.

     1. Beautiful Mariette, lovely how you say you use feeling the tension to ask the question what’s up. A timely reminder for me.

202. I can definitely relate to the difference between self-awareness and self-criticism or judgement. How amazing to realise that we have this stupendous thing which is our natural true inner-self, and yet we are able to place judgement upon it, to look at it to see if it is ‘right’. When of course it is right, when it is simply you.

     1. Dear Shami, how absolutely true. It has taken me a while to accept that me being me is all that I needed to be. A life time of being cut down to not being good enough took a little unraveling. Now though I can feel as you say the holding love of my soul, feeling and knowing this energy certainly makes it much easier to discern any thing that is not equal to it.

203. This blog is profound and I often comes back to re-read it. The ‘trying’ to be gentle instead of just being gentle is an aspect I can relate to and it is indeed very exhausting carrying this ‘tension’ that the ‘ought to be’ causes.

     1. Yes Priscila, This is exactly what I’ve been hurting myself with “trying to be gentle instead of just being gentle” and getting frustrated by thinking in the “ought to be” way.
        I see that I can allow myself to just choose gentleness and surrender to my choice to be gentle. Great awareness for healing my exahusting ways. Thanks.

204. Leigh so simple and something I can relate to very well. I will take your example with me today as I go through my day – just choosing to bring awareness to what I do and how I do it and if it’s not gentle as you have said, just choosing to be gentle. When we question, criticise or from judgement check to see if we are gentle, we are already disconnecting and retreating into the mind, which does not foster gentleness at all! Your new way feels much more loving.

     1. Dear Shevon, so glad that what I have written is supporting you to be you.

205. Leigh I totally relate to what you have shared about seeking perfection in just being me. Its insane really when you think about it – to be me is literally connecting with my Soul and living with that as my way of being… but to seek perfection in that doesn’t make sense because I’m already saying that when I am me that I need to be doing what ever it is in another way the I deem to think is better than being connected to my Soul. Interesting how the Spirit can twist things round to keep you away from being who you are naturally – a Soulful Son of God. I too have had clarity and understanding with patterns like this from the support of Universal Medicine, the Benhayon family and Esoteric practitioners.

206. Leigh Im so the same! Thanks for writing this, it’s a real inspiration for me to choose to just be as well…

207. Hi Leigh. Thank you for sharing your insights . I can so relate. I get so stuck in trying to get things right that I lose myself in the action and completely disconnect from me and how I am being with myself. All head stuff that takes me away from my body again and again. Thank you for this, it has really sharpened my awareness.

     1. This is great sharing Anne and I can so relate here, these are truly great discussion and ones we do not have often enough. As I have found that it is being in my head that causes the biggest distraction for me.

208. How brilliant is it that something as simple as the Gentle Breath meditation can offer such insight into your tension. I know I feel the same. Doing the simple connecting things like the Gentle Breath as presented by Universal Medicine has constantly shown me where I am tense. In combination with the support I have received from Esoteric Practitioners I have been able to understand where that tension originates and just by seeing it like that, it has helped me to let it go…it’s so lovely to take a moment to appreciate that, and look forward to the constant delving into the depths of my tension and understanding more about how my body is communicating with me.

209. Thank you Leigh I can relate to this completely. How amazing it is when we realise it is just a choice to be gentle and how lovely to let that gentleness becomes tender and delicate.

210. Hi Leigh, thank you for this sharing. I can relate to the tension and finding that I have to remind myself to let go and just be. Also the trying and getting things right, is a big one for me – thank you for the reminder.

211. Thank you Leigh for this great reminder to stop trying and just be.

212. What an awesome blog Leigh. Just being is enough. Thank you for this great reminder.

213. Thank you Leigh for sharing your experiences of the Gentle Breath Meditation, a timely reminder of this beautiful, powerful tool.

214. “So I had myself under this constant surveillance (tension) wanting to be gentle, always checking to see if I had been gentle, instead of simply choosing to be gentle.”
     I relate to what you say here Leigh and to move to
     “I can now feel how ridiculous it has been to live this way, and that it is much simpler to live responding as things arise – no longer feeling that I have to be pre–prepared for everything that will happen in my life”
     is awesome and I can relate to this also. The freedom of ‘being’ as opposed to the tension of trying is great to feel.

215. Thank you Leigh, some great reminders here. Sometimes it can feel whichever way you turn there is another trap waiting to catch you but I now view this as yet another opportunity being offered to allow me to grow. The frustration with self was a big one for me but definitely not such am issue anymore as I learn to appreciate myself more and more.

     1. This is great to hear Doug that you are appreciating yourself more and more a very important step for us all.

     2. Hi Doug, the power in appreciation continues to astound me. Such a simple concept, yet at times I forget to truly do this. Thank you for the reminder.

216. I loved re-reading your blog again Leigh. A timely reminder for me as I still find the ‘do right’ and ‘perfection’ around me. I have been feeling how the tension from these are draining and exhausting. Thank you Leigh.

     1. Hi Priscilla, yes it is so exhausting, I am finding that this energy of perfection, that I once lived in full, but now choose much less in my life, actually exhaust me very quickly now. This is super supportive, because it helps me to unravel even more aspects of it, as living exhausted is simply not normal for me any more.

217. Thankyou for this blog Leigh, I can so relate to it. “I had been living in the belief that I was not good enough” feels the story of my life until I discovered Universal medicine, and I’m still working on it….. The relief of “I don’t have to do anything to get to it, I just have to choose it” is powerful, relating to connection. Great insights for me to ponder on, enact and just be.

     1. Hi Sue,
        Writting this blog a couple of years ago was a huge beginning for me. The understandings that I had come to were amazing. Yet making them my everyday livingness has taken dedication and commitment, a commitment that I continue to make to this day, as there are still aspects of the not good enough that I discover. My feeling is that the honesty in acknowledging it is the key to contine to let it go.

218. Wow I am so glad I’ve read this blog. I can completely relate and when I’m not feeling so great I quickly go into trying to do it right and check if I’m doing gentle right, the gentle breath meditation right etc.. Instead of just allowing and feeling what is there. This is life changing. I am inspired to look at this in everything else now..

     1. Beautiful David. It is inspiring for me to read your comment.

219. Hi Amina, thank you for your love, I am beginning to really appreciate the power of allowing myself to be aware and simply nominate what I am feeling. I am noticing how situations that could very quickly become emotional exchanges don’t, when I allow myself to be aware of what is really going on. Because this allows me to respond not in defence and protection, but with honesty and understanding.

     1. Great to hear Leigh.

     2. Beautiful Leigh I love your blog and the expansion you’ve shared here. It really is about nominating and feeling and letting it be, and as you show we get to understand what is truly going on. I laughed when I read your blog about trying to be gentle and not choosing to be gentle, oh boy have I known that one – how I can twist myself in knots against a measure I set and then beat myself up when I don’t get to it. Your blog is a beautiful reminder of being patient, loving and allowing of oneself and the power of what we choose. Thank you.

220. Yes Amina, we are this awesome amazing being. I feel to share with you yet another awareness that has presented itself in my body, that is showing me yet again just how amazing we are. Yesterday I woke with the sorest abdomen. It felt like I had done 200 sit-ups one day having done none before!! Sore. I nominated this and left it be. Towards the end of the day yesterday the awareness came that for me it is now about surrendering to my connection, and then connecting to my breath. This morning I am noticing that as soon as I let my thoughts wonder from my body, I can feel my abdomen tighten. As soon as I surrender and bring my thoughts back to where my body is, my abdomen is no longer tight. It is definitely much more comfortable to be with my body.

221. Great blog Leigh – I think I sometimes feel my body without that tension when I come off the table after an Esoteric Connective Tissue treatment or an Esoteric Healing or esoteric massage… even sometimes when I’ve given a treatment. Such a beautiful experience to feel so connected with myself. Won’t it be great when we live 95% in the connection and 5% in the tension :-). Whooo Hooo… Bring it on I say – for us and everyone else!

     1. You bet it will Jean!!

222. “…it is much simpler to live responding as things arise – no longer feeling that I have to be pre–prepared for everything that will happen in my life”.

     It really is that simple… Thanks for the reminder Leigh!

     Being pre-prepared used to be my way of trying to control life and protect myself from all I was feeling but all it did was drain me of my natural sweetness and light. I still fall for it but much less so. Your blog helps remind me to be playful as I discover those little pockets where the energy that is not me sneaks in…

     the “Wow, there too” moments.

     A much more loving way to be with oneself when we discover a lie we have fallen for, believing it to be a truth.

     1. Thank you Suzanne, I have had a realisation this morning that has rocked me a bit, it would be so easy to let my self drop into the not good enough. But I know this is not me and I also know that my playfulness that is bursting out from within will help me today. Thank you for reminding me.

223. Hi Leigh. Thank you for sharing this. I exactly know what tension you are talking about – it is draining and operates very automatic, it can be very ingrained in our bodies. After reading your blog it has been great for me to identify when I feel this tension… and to know that it is a trap that wants to keep me busy and worried. Very liberating to chose to just be gentle at any single moment, instead of checking if I am being gentle. Great.

     1. Hi Luz, yes, it is so liberating. It is such a relief to realise how simple it really is, to choose to be gentle.

     2. Love it Luz, instead of checking if… just choosing to be. Easily said in words, I know, but very possible to apply when we focus on what we are doing, rather than in analysing it. When I have experienced this, it really makes a difference on how I feel, more relaxed and at ease.

        1. So true Priscilla, how focusing what we are doing and choosing at any time in what way we do it, is so empowering and brings things back into simplicity. Me too – I’ve been in the trap of always watching me instead of feeling and then analysing. What an exhausting, cold and distant way to be with ourselves. Instead when I choose total presence and my loveliness in whatever I do I can feel that all that will come I will be fine with and prepared for – as it’s just me being in what ever I do. Claiming this and unfolding with it 🙂

     3. Spot on Luz. Checking all the time makes things complicated but being is as you say very liberating.

224. Thank you Priscila, your reply was lovely to read, and yes I was very honest and open with what I wrote, but you too were very honest and open with your reply and I appreciate your honesty. Wow, now that is inspiring.

225. Hi Leigh, I so relate to this and have been really aware recently how the ‘getting it right’ ideal and constantly checking how I am doing affects all areas of my life but particularly my work. For me realising ‘that it is much simpler to live responding as things arise – no longer feeling that I have to be pre–prepared for everything that will happen in my life’ has been amazing but I have fallen into the trap of getting frustrated when I slip back into my old ways and I loved the way you have turned that around to ‘wow, there too’ and viewed it a positive prompt to look at another area of your life. Thanks so much – this will be a real support to me in my continuing unfolding.

     1. Hi Helen, thank you for your comment. I so know the energy of frustration especially at myself… My practitioner recently presented to me the possibility that it is only energy, hence it is not me, but an energy that I let in. Now this type of comment used to frustrate me even more, however this time, I felt Wow, if it is only energy, I can choose something else. I can choose to stop and feel the warmth of me inside, then all frustration stops and understanding comes instead.

226. Hi Leigh, thank you so much for sharing so honestly, clearly and in a detailed way, your experience. I can relate very much to a lot of what you are sharing and up until reading your beautiful blog I had not seen so clearly how the body lives in a constant tension to cope with the ‘get it right’ ideal. Wow, I felt myself letting go and my body becoming more relaxed while I was reading your blog. Thank you also for highlighting (again, with such honesty) the moments of frustration – it has already had an impact on how I saw a frustrating moment this morning. I loved how play-full the sentence “wow, there too” is and how it has a ripple effect in dismantling the ‘get it right’ ideal. Awesome!!!!

227. That’s beautiful. Thank you Leigh for sharing and inspiring.

     1. My pleasure Annie, it has been inspiring for me too. I am loving feeling me, my warmth, my tenderness.

228. I really relate to this so much.

     1. Thank you Jane, this whole journey of having and sharing this experience has deepened my own understanding and awareness of how much this had actually been affecting me.

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