As a family, we were talking the other day about childhood memories – how they stay with you, good or bad – and the part those memories can play in your life for many years later.
I remember a particular day when I was a small child, maybe 8 or 9 years old… a carpenter who was a friend of the family was doing some renovations in our home. He was busy working and I was whistling nearby – I was happy. He made an abrupt comment asking me to stop and I could feel he was grumpy. I never knew if I was whistling too loud, or perhaps out of tune, but I stopped, and unsure of how I felt I just walked away.
CARRYING OUR CHILDHOOD HURTS
But in my mind I have never forgotten this – I have carried this memory for fifty years. It isn’t something that haunts me every day but I am often reminded of it whenever I hear someone whistling. I have felt self-conscious of how I have sounded for all these years, but today I feel free – free to express myself – and I sometimes wonder why it has taken me this long!
TAKING ON SOMETHING THAT ISN’T OURS TO TAKE ON IN THE FIRST PLACE
I can now look deeper into that childhood memory and see more clearly, from a new perspective, the pattern that formed from this experience. It was something I took on for many years that may have had nothing to do with me – it was something another person was feeling over which I had no control. He may have had a headache; he could have hit his finger with the hammer or perhaps drilled a hole in the wrong place and could have been feeling frustrated… who knows?! But I had always thought it was my whistling that was the problem (perhaps it was, but the point is it doesn’t even matter!).
WE ARE ALL AMAZING AND UNIQUE
Now when I whistle, I just smile to myself and I think of my beautiful daughter. She has been inspired by the work of Serge Benhayon, has been attending Universal Medicine events for the last 3 years, and through what she has connected to she has helped me to realise for myself just how amazing and unique we all are, and how acceptance and appreciation are our valuable tools in life. She has inspired me to stop and appreciate what may be happening in someone else’s day, and that there is no need to take offence in a situation or take things personally. I have now been able to let go of this negative childhood memory and allow myself to express freely again.
By M.H, 60, Brisbane
256 thoughts on “Letting go of Negative Childhood Memories”
It was great to read this blog again and how we can spend years staying in our hurts that stemmed from something that was misinterpreted, or miss informed.
As I’ve matured since meeting Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and their practitioners, I come to realise more and more how we are not our hurts, it is not the thing that is or identifies us. We are continually being given this lie/information. As deep down inside and within us all is the Soul that is made of one ingredient, LOVE. It carries nothing else but LOVE, which means everything else is a fabrication.
It’s amazing what hurt we carry around us from any age and that hurt gets piled on, and on. It is so true and if we are willing to accept that there are usually two people at stake here. One who could be having that “bad” day. whilst the other a “good” day, but the thing we are very good at is taking things personally.
It is when we come across people like Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, that present we are more than being the human, and that will always remain within us all. If we separate ourselves from this then all sorts can affect us. Appreciation goes a long way and that is appreciating of ourselves first foremost before another. And in any situation we are given opportunities to heal and if willing, be appreciative of these moments and the next learning is offered.
This “good” and “bad” is continually playing out in our lives. The question I would like to pose is, who says, what is “good” and what is “bad”? Life isn’t about these two words. In both, we place an emotional emphasis and we stay stuck in the thick of it. If the emotion is removed for instance, then we see the opportunity of healing.
When someone shares something with us that we take on board and can then change or transform something in our lives so that we are more free from previous stifling constraints, it is a blessing and a healing all rolled in one.
“TAKING ON SOMETHING THAT ISN’T OURS TO TAKE ON IN THE FIRST PLACE” is in fact not serving anyone. It weighs us down and crushes us so that we do not let ourselves shine like we ought to.
I agree Henrietta, we don’t need to take on others stuff, it belongs to them to deal with. In any situation everyone has their baggage – why make it yours?
M.H. what an absolutely delightful read – so much of what you share here is so true and we can certainly take a good dose of this to put into practice in our lives. We cannot know what another is experiencing nor living and there fore there is no point in taking comments from people personally. If and when we do take comments personally then it is time to stop and bring some understanding to ourselves and the other – there are hurts we all carry and these can come in and interfere with the beautiful interactions we could otherwise be having.
Absolutely Elizabeth you hit the Nail-on-the-head, as when we watch what is happening around us with children today and adults the “importance of expressing responsibly in all my interactions with another” has also been a HIGHLIGHT as I deepen my own connection.
Letting our Love in that we innately had as a child brings back so much Love that when we get to unlock the things that were there to hold us back from that connection can be felt as the lie they were and then let go.
“there is no need to take offence in a situation or take things personally”. Broadening the picture beyond what we see in front of us, to include not just someone’s whole day but their whole history can be a very supportive way to let go of incidents that have nothing at all to do with us.
Co-lateral damage is what comes to mind here Melinda – we can end up as co-lateral damage when we take on what is not for us to take on, but when we can stay steady and see things for what they are we can stand clear of the path of disturbance and reduce or minimise the impact for ourselves and overall.
In our everyday human interaction, it does look as though that is all there is to it and it is hard not to take our personal experience personal, thinking we are what we experience and ultimately we trap ourselves in that confinement. Universal Medicine has supported me to understand that there is another way to be in the world and with its people, which is very liberating.
M.H. what you have shared is so true
“It was something I took on for many years that may have had nothing to do with me – it was something another person was feeling over which I had no control. He may have had a headache; he could have hit his finger with the hammer or perhaps drilled a hole in the wrong place and could have been feeling frustrated… who knows?! ”
When we take on other peoples issues it is a poison in our bodies because we do not have the antidote to it. I have watched as adults impose on children their worries or anxieties it is a recipe for disaster because as you have experienced those impositions can stay with us for years and even life times if they are not dealt with.
Some comments said to us in our childhood feel like curses, ones that have been said to bring us down, and then others that have been said because of what the other person is struggling with themselves. We can learn so much when we remember not to take things personally, and be discerning.
It is important to not take things personally, and to have the understanding that the other person may simply be being ‘played’ with by energy.
Nobody can make us change ourselves, it’s only us that can withdraw and make ourselves small. It’s great though when we have done this to realise why and how we are never wrong and can let it go and express freely our joy again.
Spot on Lieke, we make all the changes, it is like life is our changing room and we put on what ever suit we feel comfortable in and to “express freely” from “our joy again” is us choosing that suit in a see-of-soup of suits and not hiding our super-person “self”.
In my experience letting go of childhood hurts hasn’t been a one-off event. It’s been progressive over the years. Currently is another such letting go period and when this happens I see more clearly how the hurt has shaped how I go about my day.
Agreed Leigh, we do have issues and they can arise at different times, that is until we live in the Deep-Humble-Appreciative-ness of our Soul-full-essences!
When we let go of the judgement of our parents and all those in our childhood then we have a much clearer view of what really happened rather than what we thought happened. Letting go of the judgement releases us from the ties that bind us.