To Rub my Eyes – The Discovery of Tenderness

For the first time, when I went to rub my eyes I actually felt how naturally soft my skin is and the delicate tenderness of my fingers touching and connecting with my skin.

It was like discovering all over again how lovely and precious that area is… this must be how babies feel when they discover they are in a body – feeling their beautiful, velvety skin. It’s an exquisite feeling, even just for a moment.

Up until this point, the awareness I had of the skin around my eyes was prompted by the need to attend to the discomfort of dry, itchy feelings that were present in my eyes.

Coming to this realisation of how precious the skin is has been a wonderful way for me to feel that looking after myself and caring for my body isn’t only about going straight to the relief and cure of eye drops and creams.

  • While topical aids are great, there is another level of caring and being able to truly feel the natural beauty held in that area and connect with that.
  • With being able to feel the natural lovely feeling that is in and around my eyes, I now approach caring for them in a deeper, gentler and more honouring way.

Meaning, I don’t just rub my eyes to relieve the itch as an automatic response to their being itchy, then reach for the drops. I respond to my eyes with a greater awareness and care, knowing that they also need regular drops, not just when they’re itchy.

When I do touch and rub my eyes I know that they and all of me are exquisite and worthy of deep tender loving touch just like a newborn. In fact, I love the feeling of connecting with my eyes and any part of me just for the simple beautiful being I am, before the mind can start giving commands of do this, that or the other.

When we choose to stop and be still for a moment we can become aware of the tenderness and exquisiteness we have within, and can appreciate this quality in ourselves and in others. We come to know that this tenderness is always with us – just as it is in a newborn. Health conditions can develop bringing along their symptoms and issues, but when we connect to the tenderness within, we then approach these health issues in a very different, more caring way.

Inspired by the work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.

By Sandra Williamson

178 thoughts on “To Rub my Eyes – The Discovery of Tenderness

  1. I loved reading this statement, “Health conditions can develop bringing along their symptoms and issues, but when we connect to the tenderness within, we then approach these health issues in a very different, more caring way”. This is such different perspective in viewing our health issues, instead of being identified by the health issues. That tenderness within a newborn is still within us despite our numerical ageing body.

    It’s a great reminder that we can always bring tenderness any time in our lives and when we do, we live and view our lives from a different pair of eyes…

  2. Holding ourselves tenderly or being tender in the way we are with things around us is a powerful reflection to others to come back to the same tenderness that lies within us all. And this can inspire others to do like wise. The power of true change comes from inspiration from one who lives the change they would like to see.

  3. The area and skin around the eyes is super delicate and tender. And so is the area and skin in other areas of the body too. But to feel this tenderness comes from the willingness to feel it and also letting our hands be the recipients of this tenderness as well as the deliverers of the tenderness. As we use our hands so much, they can tighten and harden if we are not aware of how we are doing things, and then we can lose some of the sensitivity that we normally hold. So when we allow our hands to be sensitive and delicate, then we are more open to feeling the tenderness of the body that is naturally there when we allow it to be. What a gift and blessing in a world that can be so lacking in the actual delivery of tenderness.

  4. A gorgeous sharing Sandra – thank you! And I love the gold you have shared here: “Health conditions can develop bringing along their symptoms and issues, but when we connect to the tenderness within, we then approach these health issues in a very different, more caring way.” – the body communicates to us in a variety of ways including health conditions and so when we approach this as the communication it is rather than seeing something as ‘wrong’ it completely changes the way we see things and work with things.

  5. We deserve a stop moment to feel the delicateness and tenderness we all naturally have, ‘When I do touch and rub my eyes I know that they and all of me are exquisite and worthy of deep tender loving touch just like a newborn. ’

  6. Thank you Sandra, it is amazing to feel the tenderness of a loving touch and adding to what you have shared I can also feel how important it is to have gentle thoughts that are also loving so we do not become abrasive in our heads as they also hurt!!!

  7. Love begets love. Gorgeous to feel how more is offered in simply recognising and surrendering.

  8. I don’t feel we realise how rough we are with ourselves, and how harmful this is for the body, as our own treatment of ourselves becomes something we have to recover from when we could be thriving. Taking the time to be tender and delicate with ourselves is like a revelation as the body responds so well to this treatment. It’s interesting that the delicate and tender self care the body thrives on is countered by ideals that produce the exact opposite behaviour, such as “toughening up”, not being “a wuss”, and placing others before ourselves.

    1. I noticed how roughly an old person rubbed their eyes recently, it felt very disregarding of the natural delicateness we all have in that area.

  9. To come to truly acknowledge that every single part of this amazing body of mine is “exquisite and worthy of deep tender loving touch just like a newborn” has definitely changed the way I am living. Gone are the days when I had little or no regard for my body, simply taking it for granted and wondering why it kept ‘breaking down’. To deeply respect, honour and embrace the delicateness of our body as much as the body of a newborn is actually the most the natural way to live.

  10. Whenever I treat my body in a precious and tender way it feels so beautiful, I don’t live this consistently so I am inspired after reading this blog to make this a very ‘normal’ part of my every day.

  11. How lovely Sandra, I haven’t read this in some time but I remember the impact it had on me then, and the realisation of the possibility of being tender with myself. I recently have experienced some redness and eczema like skin around my eyes, but I hadn’t remembered to feel the lovely quality of me in those areas of my body I had only been feeling the disturbance there. Thank you for the reminders.

  12. A couple of eye issues at the beginning of the year served to bring my attention to how I had been treating my eyes and that maybe it was time to deepen my care for them. Like many parts of our body we can slip into complacency about their care that it is until something goes ‘wrong’, and then we usually want the healing stage to be as short as possible so we can get on with our lives and probably changing nothing in the process. But instead, as you have shown, we can actually embrace the lesson that is being offered to us, and in my experience there always is, and take the lesson and really appreciate it.

    1. Well said Ingrid – every part of our body works hard and serves us well. It is also for us then to appreciate this and look after each part with immense care and adding the tenderness to our way of looking after the body is a bonus worth celebrating deeply.

  13. That is so true at the end. In connecting to that tenderness and beauty we fight or resist illness less. Our body doesn’t fight illness it uses illness to help us. Stop, reassess, reflect, what is being communicated?

  14. Reading your words about rubbing your eyes made me realise that often I do just this, totally disconnected to the delicateness of these parts of my body, and I know how disregarding that feels. Conversely, I also know that if I bring tenderness to touching the areas around my eyes, in fact any other part of my body, the feeling is one of immense love and respect, a feeling that then flows naturally throughout every other part of me.

  15. Connecting to the skin around our eyes or the feeling of the bottom of our feet touching the ground nurtures intimacy that supports us to feel how much more tender or gentle we can be with ourselves. Just yesterday after putting on face cream I realised I don’t think about the skin around my eyes needing moisturizing as well, and how harsh it must feel to that skin when I just apply eyeshadow and powders without there being any barrier. So I applied eye cream and then applied eyeshadow and it felt lovely making that change.

  16. I love how every intricate details of our make-up reveals its exquisite beauty when space is given, and we connect to its preciousness and there’s a whole lot more to be appreciated.

  17. Re-discovering and re-connecting to our tenderness within will go along way to arresting and turning around the present harsh and intensely emotional reality of human life today.

  18. Beautiful to read Sandra, the exquisite tenderness you spoke of is so gorgeous to feel, we are in fact gorgeous when we choose to tenderly care for ourselves as we would a baby.

  19. And very often when we do pay attention lovingly to the body the symptoms disappear. It is incredibly beautiful how the body lets us know and communicates with us the disregard we have been living in.

  20. As we leave ourselves, we forego our beauty. As we start returning to ourselves we re-discover the beauty that was left behind but that was there all the time waiting for us to be at one with it.

  21. Thank you Sandra, this is a great example of caring for ourselves with the same preciousness we would a baby, and it does feel amazing to treat ourselves this way. The body responds beautifully to tenderness and care.

  22. When we treat one area of our body with tenderness we then realise that we can treat our whole self with equal tenderness.

  23. Just reading the first line I gently touched my eyelids to feel what it was like and it was so delicate and precious. It stopped me in my tracks because I realise that if I ever do rub eye cream around my eyes it is mostly functionary and with the intent to erase wrinkles. There is so much preciousness we can connect to when we stop and actually feel.

  24. I had a stye on my eyelid a few years ago and it made me much more aware of my eyes and eyelids. At the time I was very conscious of the fact that many people take a lot of care over their teeth every day, brushing them perhaps twice a day and flossing, etc. How would it be if we took as much care of our other sensory faculties like our eyes and ears too? And even maybe our inner self too, our organs for example? Drinking more water and less alcohol for the liver maybe? Less if any sugar for the pancreas…

      1. It is isn’t it. I suspect many take care of our teeth because it looks bad if they don’t. And of course, the experience of toothache is pretty strong motivation too. I have found that the more I take care of my body, the more delicious it feels. This for me is pretty powerful motivation.

  25. The tenderness of how we are with ourselves sets the stage for being tender in our lives, and lets face it who wouldn’t love to meet someone who is tender with them? Tenderness is a powerful state that offers inclusion to all it meets including ourselves.

  26. It’s amazing to read an article like this and immediately consider how we touch our eyes and skin. Just from reading this the way I am approaching my touch has changed, like my awareness has grown for no other reason but for how it feels to me. I can sense how everything is connected and the way I am with my fingers allows the rest of my body to settle. The continual awareness of how we truly care for ourselves is certainly something worth considering.

  27. Take note like I will the next time you touch any part of your body let alone your eyes. I noticed this morning how I was cleaning my teeth and it was more of a scrub then a brush. It’s been amazing for me to see how I treat myself at different times and that’s before looking at how the world is. If we are part of the world which we are then what if we took a real true care of our part? Would that be a living message to the world to also take that same care? It would be a yes from me and the only way to bring change to what you see is to live that change yourself and then no matter what you do or say it’s all there with you.

  28. I agree Sandra, tenderness is transformational in terms of how we care for ourselves. This is a great line “When we choose to stop and be still for a moment we can become aware of the tenderness and exquisiteness we have within, and can appreciate this quality in ourselves and in others.” This sentence really awakened me to a deeper appreciation of these moments, and how much joy they bring me. Thankyou Sandra.

    1. And a double joy when we are so used to living from the head like is and has been my case. When we live from the head, we disconnect from the body and forget the power of the tenderness and delicateness we can actually feel. So when we learn to be OK with feeling the body and get past any feelings of anxiety, pain, discomfort or hardness we have been holding, then we do get to feel a yumminess in the body, a warmth and a holding that is the connection or bridge to our essence.

  29. I share your amazement of the tenderness there is in our body. I was feeling a bit tired today and just sat and massaged my eyes for a while and could feel how very round and delicate my eyes are and how very soft the skin of the eyelids is. There is much to explore about our own body and beingness.

  30. Being tender and respectful of my body’s natural delicateness is something I am choosing to deepen with myself.

  31. It’s always like a star falls from the sky when you read a blog with a simple act or message to be more aware of. The beauty is in the simplest of the things.

  32. Dong a similar gentle thing with your throat works wonders. So that when your throat is sore you do not cough and it works amazingly well because if you cough you rasp your throat red raw. So what I started to do was the “uh hums” to clear my throat and this was being very tender on my throat so it never got any worse. And of course there are times when you cannot avoid coughing but I always leave it as a last resort so that I heal a lot sooner.

  33. Taking a moment to appreciate our innate tenderness and delicateness is always lovely, ‘When we choose to stop and be still for a moment we can become aware of the tenderness and exquisiteness we have within.’

  34. It is lovely when we start to reconnect with ourselves and rediscover and appreciate how tender and delicate our skin is, as is the whole of our body, and we notice how soft our skin is, and we are drawn to treat it more delicately.

  35. It seems just so nonsensical how we numb or overload ourselves with stimulation and miss out feeling this gorgeousness you describe here and is available for us all – but we do.

  36. Our eyes are so obviously very precious parts of our body, but then so are all the other parts just as precious. So why is it then that we, more often than not, treat our body as if it wasn’t ‘breakable’? How amazing would it be if we were encouraged right from young to bring such tenderness as we would bring to the care of a baby to the care of each and every precious part of our wonderful body?

  37. How far we have strayed from the tender relationship with ourselves that you so lovingly describe here Sandra… When we should all hold ourselves in this way, every single day of our lives.
    If we did so, our world would change – and change immensely…

  38. ‘When I do touch and rub my eyes I know that they and all of me are exquisite and worthy of deep tender loving touch just like a newborn.’ I love that you do this Sandra, we treat babies with such tenderness and preciousness why would I not choose this for myself as well?

  39. Bringing this exquisite tender touch to our eyes, or in fact any part of our body, has the potential to change the relationship we have with our body. To develop this intimacy naturally allows us to be aware when something is not quite right within us, to then make the choice to understand what it is and why it is happening, and then to bring even greater care to ourselves in response to our body’s wise message.

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