ACCEPTING AGE AND AGEING AND HOW WE LOOK
What is age? And why do we generally not accept our age and ageing, or how we look as we get older?
As a Beauty Therapist, one of the main issues I have experienced in both women and men, is actually around age and ageing. I cannot count the amount of times people have asked me if I can make them look 10 years younger??!! So why is it, since we all do age, that most do not like it, let alone accept it? Why do we believe that we were more attractive when we were younger? What is it that we do not accept about our age and ageing? It is as though there is an unspoken apology for not looking ‘young’ anymore. I wonder if it is really age that we have an issue with? Or is it something else? If we were 60 years old, and looked 40, would we have an issue with being 60?
Or is the issue to do with how we look?
And not the actual number of years we have lived.
Is it possible that our age is one of the biggest markers of responsibility that we have?
As our bodies age, it becomes clearer and clearer to us how we have been living. The choices we have made are more physically apparent to us: the abusive behaviours that we may have thought we ‘got away with’ in younger years are revealed through the body. Is it possible that this is actually what we don’t want to feel or see in contrast to our actual age and ageing? The choices we have made, the way we have been with ourselves – and not necessarily that we look ‘older’ than we used to.
LIVING WITH THE CHOICES WE MAKE
The ways that we choose to move, exercise, work and live all have an impact on our body, because our body is with us in all that we do. In time, the result of the choices we make can be more clearly seen and felt. On the inside, our hearts and other organs reflect the choices we make and have made on a daily basis; our skin, eyes, smiles and faces wear these choices also. Our face shows a life lived in sadness or joy, frustration or acceptance. Our choices become tangible. Our body is the subject of our choices and the way we have chosen to live.
Have we lived life at the expense of our body?
- Have we listened to our bodies, or have we been pressured by the world to live to its tune, and ignored our own?
- Have we breathed from our natural gentleness, or from the situations we face?
- How has our worry impacted our nervous system, and our connective tissue?
- How about our heart? Have we opened it in full, to beat the fullness of our love, or has it struggled to beat in a body that is constricted by a fear of being hurt?
- Have we slept to nurture and refresh our bodies, or out of exhaustion from overdoing it during the day?
- How have substances such as caffeine, sugar, smoking and alcohol taken their toll, if we chose to take them?
- How have we held our bodies every day?
Is it really our age that we don’t like? Or is it our choices, and feeling the responsibility and consequences of our choices?… The way we have chosen to live.
Our skin too, reflects all of our choices. Each line, wrinkle, blemish and spot tells a story of how we have been with ourselves. We can see the abuse, the emotion, the stress, the neglect; or the tenderness and care, depending on how we have lived. The most beauty-full women and men I have ever seen are those whose faces reflect the love that they live every single day. They look like the beauty I know is on the inside. How could you want to ‘look 10 years younger’ than that? This beauty however, is not determined by a line-free face, or plump lips and cheeks. It is a youth-fullness that radiates from within. It is the Light that glows from under the skin, outwardly, the vitality, the sparkle in the eyes, the full embrace of themselves, and commitment to life. I see Joy.
I have realised that there is a different way of ageing…
Is it possible that when living lovingly, we look more and more beauty-full every day? And, as we age, our bodies do get worn, but reflect a different quality – one of a life truly and lovingly lived, and not one of abuse, regret and a wish to turn back the clock.
Is true Beauty living who you truly are? Do we actually want to look younger? Or do we want to look Truer?
Lines and wrinkles can be like scars on the face and body, from reaction and emotions: OR, they can be a beautiful memoir of many smiles, looks of Grace, understanding and love.
What do the lines on your face show you? And do these lines reflect your true beauty?
A TRUE CHANGE IN ENERGY– CHOOSING TO LIVE THE REAL YOU
If everything is energy, then surely there is a way to change the energy that you have been living, if you feel that the energy you have previously chosen isn’t true in reflecting the real you and in changing energy, the body too can change. I have been blessed by seeing the miracle of true change in many people. True change is not a change in behaviour, but a change in energy – one that is about living from the real you. Universal Medicine has presented about energy and the different types of energy that we can choose to live from. We can live with the true energy of who we truly are, or we can live the roles that we feel people want us to be, or live in the way we want to be perceived. Therefore, there is always a choice. When we live from who we are, we are naturally very loving, and honouring of ourselves. When we are not living from who we are, it is very easy to abuse the body.
TRANSFORMATIONS THAT ARE DEFYING ‘AGE’
The transformations I have seen in students of Universal Medicine who have chosen to live who they truly are, are actually defying age. The ‘aged’ faces and bodies I saw on young men and women, are now much lighter and more joy-full than they used to be. I too, have changed dramatically. The quality of my skin and my body is worlds apart from how it used to be.
- In my early 20s my skin looked stressed and I was very thin (because I was depriving my body to maintain a look that wasn’t me, but what I felt was being asked of me.)
- My eyes looked tired, on edge and lacked true sparkle (reflecting how tired, on edge and lifeless I felt).
- My hair was dry and frail (because I lived life at the expense of me).
I looked older than my age. I wasn’t living my true self. I wasn’t living lovingly.
Here… in 2004 – Age, 21 years
Here… in 2013 – Age, 30 years
My entire body has changed now.
- My skin, glowing, full, smooth, clear and beautiful, is better than it has been at any age.
- My eyes, are clear, bright and sparkle (because I do).
- My hair has a richness and fullness to it; it is shiny, healthy and better than ever.
So what did I change? It was not the products I use, or the latest technological advancement (and these photos are not digitally enhanced in any way).
The change I made was the way in which I choose to live, and the energy I choose to live in: to live with love.
There are many, many examples of others who have also chosen to make their lives about love. And as a result they have transformed not only the way that they live, but their body as well.
Here are a few examples from others…
And so, because Everything is energy and EVERYTHING is because of energy, our choices cannot be escaped.
However, if we feel that we have not made true choices, there is an opportunity in every moment to choose differently.
The next time someone asks me to make them look younger or more beautiful, I will remind them that they can begin to choose true beauty for themselves, with their next breath, just by choosing to be “the real them”.
Deeply inspired by the work and beauty of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
By Kylie Connors, 30 years, Goonellabah, NSW | Profession: Beauty therapist and Makeup Artist
291 thoughts on “True Beauty… Defying Age and Ageing”
Kylie you’ve bought many things for the beauty industry to ponder over. The before and after photos are a testimony to how living from the inside out is important then living from the outside in.
I loved reading this comment, ‘Each line, wrinkle, blemish and spot tells a story of how we have been with ourselves’. I see so many faces, and you can read the type of life they have lived.
I recall doing some practice massage hours on a group of Indian women and one of the things that stood out to me was their lips whilst they were lying on the table. One by one, it described how not speaking from who they truly were, was in the shape and the way the lips rested on their faces. A sad state of affairs, but very obvious.
This statement has power to it, ‘The change I made was the way in which I choose to live, and the energy I choose to live in: to live with love’, is the answer to many things then just skin deep.
“Do we actually want to look younger? Or do we want to look Truer?” What a great question, essentially, do we want to look like our true selves, like the love we are, or keep meeting expectations of body image and not realise the true beauty within? Regardless of how we look, how we feel is everything and I know for me when my essence is emanating through my body I am illuminated with a beauty that is unmistakable.
Once upon a time my physicality led the way. Now my energy leads the way, there is a massive difference. Interesting to observe the difference, reactions and responses from people around me.
True beauty is beyond our physical appearance and it has no choice but to emanate like the lighthouse beacon of light, that leads the way home…
Those who live in a loving way every day reflect this in their faces, ‘They look like the beauty I know is on the inside. How could you want to ‘look 10 years younger’ than that? This beauty however, is not determined by a line-free face, or plump lips and cheeks. It is a youth-fullness that radiates from within. It is the Light that glows from under the skin, outwardly, the vitality, the sparkle in the eyes, the full embrace of themselves, and commitment to life. I see Joy.’
The body is a marker of truth and it is always there to show us our choices, either loving or disregarding. This is the blessing that we cannot escape.
Reading this blog is a confirmation for me that I need to work on going deeper with my self love, with my self nurturing and loving and just appreciating myself so much more with all that I bring and all of whom I am. I have recently seen a side of myself that is seemed to hold ‘austerity and I know this is not who I am and yet it is a side of me that shows up when I am disconnected from the gentleness that I know to be my true nature. But it is the total opposite of who I am with me deep capacity to nurture. And so it is for me to feel this, embrace it and live it each and every day.
Henrietta reading that you have recently seen a side of yourself that seemed to hold ‘austerity and you knew this is not who you are. Allowed me to feel this ‘austerity’ within me too which led me to have a greater understanding of how we hold back the immense love we have for ourselves and each other. It’s as though I portion my love out rather than just allowing it to be for everyone to feel or not.
Kylie, your gorgeous words are like a song pulling women and men to come back to what they know to be true – being gentle and loving beings, and holding a love for life and each other. This is the true beauty that we all hold within and when lived shows in our faces and in our bodies. Thank you for this simple and age old reminder.
I love what you have shared about our bodies reflecting back to us our choices. It makes it very simple. If we do not like what we see or how we feel, then we have every opportunity to make some changes. It fills me with wonder on a daily basis to feel how I do today, when I remember only too acutely how disdainful and critical I was of myself not so long ago.
There are so many tips around beauty in magazines and all are about to improve skin, to correct, to mask…but the ultimate way of being beautiful is simply being us, who we really are is already the most sexy, gorgeous, beauty-full version of ourselves. We don’t need to achieve it outside but to re-reconnect inside.
‘…the ultimate way of being beautiful is simply being us…’ this is a gem of a quote – I mean it does not really get any simpler or sweeter than this and the more I apply this the simpler and sweeter life becomes. Enjoying being who we are and developing this to a deep appreciation of who we are is properly healing.
There is an ageless beauty in people who is living Love that inspires me so much. I can see joy, acceptance, openess, and a still presence that makes me see what true beauty is about.
Great reflection Kylie. It’s interesting to look at how in the image industry everything is focused on correct the imperfections from outside but without having in mind that the way our bodies looks like is the reflection of how we are living. What you presents here makes so much sense and brings me to deeply appreciate the true beauty is already there, within us, no matter our age, and no matter if our body doesn’t fit with the beauty standards from tv and magazines.
Age simply says how many cycles around the sun we have taken and what we see in the way we look is the result of those orbits. If I am not liking the way I look, the only way to truly change is to change how I go around the cycle.
Great questions Kylie and wonderful to realise how much changes when we change.
Some very relevant questions for all of us to contemplate, ‘How about our heart? Have we opened it in full, to beat the fullness of our love, or has it struggled to beat in a body that is constricted by a fear of being hurt?’
Beautiful observations on true beauty and ageing. Its wonderful to see people ageing well. Working in healthcare our view can often be skewed, but its more often than not that we don’t see people who are ageing well. Having a chronic disease or six is almost considered to be normal, well at least expected. So at some level we do know what we are doing to ourselves. However we can make other choices that reverse the ‘illness is normal in ageing’ trend.
When we are younger we think we can do what we want and get away with it, but our bodies have a way of reflecting back at us all of our choices, and I agree that’s what we don’t want to look at. Looking at the before and after photos, you can easily see and feel the difference from when the ladies were in connection and when not and the difference it makes to how they look.
“Our body is the subject of our choices and the way we have chosen to live.” It really hit me the other day when I was looking at my thighs and not really liking what I saw that my thighs are a reflection of how I have been eating, exercising and being with myself. That’s it. Simple. If I choose to eat certain foods, exercise a certain way, be kind/hard on myself etc… my body will reflect those choices. I know it seems super clear and a bit of a no-brainer but I really got it. So I can lament that moment in the mirror as it is nothing but a result of my choices. Which is good really as it means that I can choose differently.
Loving these before and after photos, such great examples of deeply personal change and, of how there is always someone beautiful inside.
Kylie what you have shared is so needed in a world where women are going to extreme lengths to turn back the clock and to keep their body looking younger than they are. I find it really inspiring when a women is confident, sassy and walks who she truly is, it’s a great confirmation.
Super inspiring blog Kylie, and one that allows us all to reflect on true beauty (that lies within us all) as well as the responsibility we hold in each choice we make. The more we love ourselves and care deeply for ourselves the more it gives permission for this beauty to shine out and inspire others to do likewise. Thank you for shining the way you do!
I love this call to consider that our bodies reflect back to us the choices we make. And that in any moment we can start to listen and heed the guidance, insight and wisdom that our bodies offer.
“The most beauty-full women and men I have ever seen are those whose faces reflect the love that they live every single day. ” – it is about how we feel in our own skin and not about how much we fit a picture of beauty that we might have.
Do we want to look truer, rather than younger what a great question? It completely turns on it’s head the pursuit of a beauty ideal and brings it back to truth, do we want to be in our body so it reflects the truth of who we are. And as the photos so clearly show, those who have made that choice sparkle regardless of their age.
“Have we lived life at the expense of our body?” For me the answer is yes and the way I used to live is definitely evident in my face and in my body. It took me well into my 60’s to be content with how I look and to love the reflection in the mirror. I have now come to know me so well that I have finally settled into this wonderful body of mine. Yes, there are sags, wrinkles and plenty of age spots, but today there is a twinkle in my eyes and a lightness in my being and instead of growing older I actually feel like I am growing younger.
Only when we are able to feel and appreciate the ageless beauty of us moving and of our movement, ageing cannot be an issue.
I too am experiencing that the more that I accept myself the more beautiful I become. The two go hand in glove.
Self acceptance, and love are paramount; and so it is very possible, ‘Is it possible that when living lovingly, we look more and more beauty-full every day?’
“Have we lived life at the expense of our body?” That’s a big yes from me, but in the last few years, as a result of making some deeply self-loving changes, I no longer live in disregard of this amazing body of mine. In my late 60’s there are plenty of wrinkles, blemishes and sags but on the inside, there is an abundance of joy and delight and these days that is what shines from me; in fact, I am sure that I am looking younger as the years go by, not older as is the accepted norm. Now that is one normal I am so enjoying dismantling.
The bathroom mirror at my work place is so well-lit and it shows everything, and a little while ago I just realised how quickly, all of a sudden, I was beginning to look my age (49), and I just had difficulty accepting that. What I could feel was how I thought I could still get away with not giving myself the all that I knew I could actually give but pretended that it was not possible, and actually what I could not accept was not the way I looked in the mirror, but the love I held back.
This is such a powerful blog with so much gold in it… because there is just so much hype and negative consciousness around getting older and ageing. I love how you blow all this out of the water, but at the same time being clear that we never get away with anything – and the future that comes to us is with the choices we make today!
I think you are on the money Kylie when you talk about why we don’t like ageing because “our choices become tangible”, and we realise that we did not get away with anything. There is such an arrogance that we think we can eat/move/do whatever we want and seemingly get away with it, but as you write here it does eventually catches up with us, and that is what we don’t like.
Yes, we cannot escape the consequences of our deeds as the body is the one coping with every single one of them and with time it is seen and felt.
‘Is true Beauty living who you truly are?’ Absolutely Kylie, it is so powerful when I see a woman or man living and expressing from their true essence, they become ageless as you are drawn to their beauty, wisdom and grace.
When we live from who we are, we are naturally very loving, and honouring of ourselves, and this reflects in our face and body, ‘True change is not a change in behaviour, but a change in energy – one that is about living from the real you. Universal Medicine has presented about energy and the different types of energy that we can choose to live from. We can live with the true energy of who we truly are, or we can live the roles that we feel people want us to be, or live in the way we want to be perceived. Therefore, there is always a choice.’
Everyone is beautiful in essence, all we have to do is to connect to our essence and allow our beauty to shine out for all to see and feel.
Gorgeous Blog Kylie! ” Do we actually want to look younger? Or do we want to look Truer?” . . . I most certainly want to look Truer! This is real beauty to me, also.
Yes, such an important question to raise. We run after beauty as we all want to be beautiful but we have all been fooled by what beauty is, having it made it a word which’s meaning we change over and over again, letting us all always be on the back foot of this defined beauty feeling not enough and worthy. All the while beauty has nothing to do with our sole outer appearance but the truth we allow ourselves to live.
It is beautiful to see our body and how it looks as a marker of our choices and so if we notice that there are things that are out of balance we know that this is only a reflection of our choices and thus always an opportunity for change.
There is an art to aging gracefully and acceptance of how our body physically wears out is fundamental to this.
The more I love myself the more I get a sense to love. Loving myself has a knock-on effect and the same goes when I harm myself by rushing or overeating… every choice has an impact in the next moment either building love or I choose neglect and disregard towards self.
This kind of beauty article is what women’s magazines should be full of.
Absolutely Esther, perhaps one day they will, as we women return to our stillness and our sacredness.
I like what you have presented here that it is not our chronological age that we have a problem with but our choices – the way we have lived in our youth catching up with us and being reflected in our bodies.
The process of ageing is a beautiful one because offers the opportunity of developing until we get to a point beyond the body we came with. The reason why is so hard in many is the knowing that they are not going there.
“The most beauty-full women and men I have ever seen are those whose faces reflect the love that they live every single day. They look like the beauty I know is on the inside.” Through their eyes you feel all that they are and are inspired to live and appreciate your own inner beauty.
Beauty is truly from within, especially obvious in the before and after photos of the four ladies at the end. Their before photos look as if they are older then the after ones… they are incredible! It shows that we can never be given or made to be or look a certain way by another person… we will only look like and be like what we live.
How we feel looking in the mirror at ourselves has also a lot to do with how open our hearts are at the time. If we are feeling down and out then we will be more likely to be critical of what we ‘see’ and likewise if we are feeling beautiful and open inside, then this too will be what we see or perceive with what we look out at.
‘Have we breathed from our natural gentleness, or from the situations we face?’ A great reminder Kylie.