276 thoughts on “The Need to Being Right”

1. Luz I totally agree when we spend our energy in constant reactions, it leaves us exhausted but also in that continuum too. Until it comes into our awareness that there must be another way. Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine presents that we are not from this cycle of reactions, that we are from love, joy and harmony and many more qualities. It’s only when we get to feel that other way, that we come to that realisation and make the choice to change those behaviours that have separated us from those qualities.

   The realisations are the key to healing and becoming who we truly are.

2. This is so beautiful Luz, and also shows how when we are supported with love, we can actually heal and move on: “I felt supported to feel my hurt and understand that my responsibility was to lovingly deal with it and LET IT GO, and most importantly I was supported to feel that my real essence had nothing to do with this hurt”

   1. True LOVE is the antidote to healing our hurts, that, that is within all us.

3. “Reason” and “being right” stops us from feeling what each situation is actually telling us and what is actually needed to be able to feel again the harmony that can be between two people.

4. It is awful to feel how we can be devious and manipulative even in the smallest of ways in relationships with other. But being aware of this and having the honesty and the willingness to see this means that there is room for us to learn and grow.

5. “But there is not an inch of LOVE” There is no Love in ‘being right’, there is only love in truth.

6. I also having this evolving relationship with your blog Luz, as I am sure my name could also be at the bottom of this article and now the feeling in my body is one of a stilling vibration that asks nothing but when movement is called for then the vibration can stay and the moving can be Sacred and the responsibility for everything, which you seem to have elucidated to becomes one of response rather than reaction.

7. “The consequences of living a life in permanent reaction, and struggling to let go of these reactions, has been the true reason why I’ve given away all my life force trying to win meaningless battles.” So true Luz, and it’s a beautiful honesty to come to, that we are exhausting ourselves with battles that can’t be won. I still react a lot but what I come to over and over again is that there is nothing outside of me that could give me more than what’s inside of me, and that helps me see the illusion of it all and let it go. The stubbornness of being right, or the belief in the need for things to be a certain way that I feel dependent upon can be strong, but surrendering back to love and the realisation I have everything (and more) already inside me allows these things to dissipate.

8. I can very much relate to reacting to things/people not measuring up to how I think it should be. Something that can come so easy and natural to me can be not so for some – this was inconceivable. I did not realise the deep connection I had with whatever the subject that was making it very normal for me to ‘get’ it so easily, was something very much worth appreciating.

   1. I am choosing to let go of reaction in my life, it serves no true purpose, in fact it is harmful and exhausting as Luz says.

9. Luz I so enjoy reading your blogs because they reflect back to us all how we struggle with life this is a classic
   “Because I REACT to what I consider awkward, sloppy, and mistaken ‘reasoning’, I can easily engage in endless discussion where ‘reason’ fights ‘reason’, ‘reason’ explains in detail to ‘reason’, ‘reason’ tries to prove wrong to ‘reason’ and ‘reason’ doesn’t care a bit about the other ‘reason’, just wants to WIN and impose its sense of what is right.”
   How many of us fight reason with reason and get absolutely nowhere just more frustration and hurt because we don’t feel listened to. Through the teachings of Universal Medicine I do understand how to step back and observe rather than react in the non-reaction reason doesn’t stand a chance it cannot survive because it has no energy to feed off, it is a trick that has been exposed.

10. Wanting to prove anything at all, to show how we fit a particular picture, or what we can do or are capable of: just another form of being right that shuts us off from true connections and deeper relationships.

11. Reading this was a timely reminder of how utterly exhausting it is holding on to anything.. even one tiny thing we’re holding on to, drains us. When we let go and surrender – i.e. deeply accept ourselves, all of our past choices, and our lives as they are now, there is no fight, no trying, no striving. Just the beginning of a deepening settlement and ease at being in life.

12. I have spent a lifetime fighting myself and what I know to be true. This comes from not being heard as a child I gave up trying to be heard and went into resentment and withdrew from life. Meeting Serge Benhayon was the best thing that ever happened to me because he confirms everyone in what they know to be true but no one else wants to know. The world isn’t ready yet for the truth we are all too busy indulging in being individuals and that’s okay, there will come a time when our waywardness will bring us to our knees and then we will be ready to hear the truth that has walked beside us all along through the ages. Then we will say that man Serge Benhayon knew what he was talking about why didn’t we listen when we had the chance.

13. This is a great awareness to come to Luz – ‘I used to think that ‘working hard’ was a killer, now I know ‘reaction’ has been my true killer.’ Learning to respond to life instead of reacting to life is a game changer, for starters our health is not compromised as we live in a more harmonious and simple way.

    1. All these factors that weight us down in terms of reactions are in way pre-cursors to illness and disease. For when we stress enough about these things the body begins to show signs and symptoms of the disharmony that we have been feeling all along.

14. It’s great to be reading this today, as I feel my own reason debating with reason, wanting to be fair and wanting to be right, well it’s not love as you say to clearly here Luz. And ultimately it’s not about what the world or another does, but it asks me if I’m willing to be love no matter what, without measure, and it brings it back to the simplicity that asks, are we being love? No matter what or who, are we being love?

15. I don’t realise the level of abuse reaction has on my body. Any subtle reaction has an impact on my body these days and it is down to me to take responsibility and learn the lessons for reacting in whatever way, shape or form in my life.

    1. Absolutely Caroline, no one else has walked our path so we can only retrace those steps and heal the “impacts” from reacting.

    2. Any reaction feels horrible, and is also draining, ‘ I know ‘reaction’ has been my true killer. The consequences of living a life in permanent reaction, and struggling to let go of these reactions, has been the true reason why I’ve given away all my life force trying to win meaningless battles.’

16. Thank you Luz, it’s a very powerful exposé on reactions and why we can react. There is a lot for me to ponder on which I very much appreciate. The whole business of being right is about externals, how we think things should be or want them to be, when the whole business of being love is just that, being love. In love we may still speak the truth and know that many things are not true in the world but ‘not true’ comes with a different energy than ‘not right’ – not right seems to justify one side if not a sense of fighting something.

17. Withdrawing is committing 100% to the cause of keeping this world running as it is.

    1. To feel the consequences of withdrawing or holding back in society and the harm it has done to my body no doubt makes feel sad but there is much to appreciate here as I am impulsed to re-imprint and make different choices from an awakening of a deeper love for myself.

    2. Ha Ha Eduardo – I love how you have put this and explained what withdrawing from the world it. And so when we look at it like that it makes us realise how ridiculous it is what we do. This then allows us to really ask what is needed and why and hence gives us the motivation to action true change.

18. It is great to be so self-reflective, to want to explore the inner makings of our intent and behaviours. But I would add that it is also so very important to remember that love is often in the learning and as such we are all flawed. Accepting and appreciating this helps me to understand the strengths that we each have and how we can all help each other to grow.

19. When we take on the banner of being right and life should be fair, there is no rest because whoever said life should be fair and that we know what is right for another person. When we are like this it is as if we are fighting the world but in fact, we are only fighting ourselves, and it’s tiring.

    1. Yes, beautifully unravelled how we keep ourselves in a mindset that we need not to be in.

    2. Yes, wanting life to be fair and people to be decent is an expectation, and/or picture, the more we let go of thinking these are the ‘right’ ways to be in this world the less we will be drained.

20. This is a very beautiful unraveling how we have made life about coping and getting through but how much more there is when we allow ourselves to go deep and find out the truth about ourselves.

21. I am becoming more and more aware of how separating trying to be right is, as soon as my partner and I end up in a discussion about who is right I don’t feel the loveliness that is between us usually anymore. This has become the marker for me if something is true or not. How can being right be true when it separates my partner and I? Truth in the opposite unites and lifts us both up.

    1. “How can being right be true when it separates my partner and I?” This question so clearly reveals how being right is not the answer in any relationship.

    2. Being right does cause separation, it is great to consider questions like Luz presents combined with our awareness, ‘Why do I react to life and situations so strongly? What is it in reacting, rebelling, fighting, and this need of ‘being right’ and trying hard that I feel so drawn to? Why do I keep using these tools to walk through life?’

22. Very true Luz, living in reaction is exhausting, for life is not about being right or wrong but living the responsibility of that which is true.

    1. Once we focus on being right we have already lost the connection to our soul and it’s energetic quality. When the focus is on others or things outside of ourselves in losing our quality we also lose our energetic integrity and responsibility. It’s quite a set up, our being right justifies our lack of energetic responsibility.

23. When we think we think, when we live from a compartment of individuality, we set ourselves up for an endless battle and everything and everyone becomes a potential enemy for us to stand up against as we seek to position ourselves away and separate from what is.

24. I love how you so honestly expose your need to be ‘right’ and your reactions Luz. Learning to let go of reactions makes space for us to respond in situations and brings more understanding and acceptance of life and others without any control or expectations – this is the way we build true relationships.

25. I used to be one that had to make there point and make sure that if I was right it was to be know. Maybe not in a direct way but will bring it round so that it was understood that I was right. But this actually got me no where except for feeling dis-connected to others and lonely. Letting go of right and wrong is key for true relationships with connections.

    1. This is a relationship that many of us have Natalie, and it feels like some type of controlling mechanism we live with that changes with the wind as new righteous-ness blows in the door slamming the old pattern and running with the newest right so we do not feel the diss-connection from living in the lies. Truth on the other-hand is gentle like the breath at the end of our nose and when we at-least breath gently and leaves the door open so we are transparent, which allows us to be seen for the responsiveness to life door slamming situations, without a hint of reaction.

26. With reaction there is no true understanding only judgment, which says how I see the situation, is the right way, here there is absolutely no love whatsoever. when we can respond with understanding then true love can be felt and the need to express, or not, is known.

27. By reacting emotionally to anything we immediately get drained – and in a world where all too many of us are exhausted we really need to become aware of this fact.

28. Being right means also that someone else has to be wrong. If this is your life, the pleasure comes from it. It is a way of confirming you, but even more what drives you to need to be confirmed this way.

29. Trying can be very trying and trying to get everyone else to see things your way is exhausting.

30. Holding onto being right is a sure-fire way to react. It also means we’re stuck in the thick of life and unable to read life – all rather exhausting.

31. The need to be right is driven by an underlying lack, one that misunderstands that being right is a solution to cover an existing hurt. Being right is ultimately useless if all around us are harmed with our frustrations or reactions. Being true on the other hand offers both evolution.

    1. A win win situation is much more loving to all, ‘Being right is ultimately useless if all around us are harmed with our frustrations or reactions. Being true on the other hand offers both evolution.’

32. The reactions to the world and as I’ve done you can build a whole world or life around then and justify every part of it. When it comes back to it, it comes back to how you are truly feeling and reactions can be outward or inward depending on your choice. The what you have reacted to is the key, the key to what you need to heal where your reaction lives. As has been said many time, life is a reflection and so when you use it as a mirror what do you see? We can only have regard over how we are, the true quality that we live and from this place everything else is taken care of.

33. Luz this is a gem of a blog and I really enjoyed reading it. You describe this part of the human condition so well, I can certainly relate. I still find feeling I’m “right” insidiously there, there is always a rigidity and focusing on others being in the wrong. But once the conversation opens up and others share their side of how they’ve observed the situation it helps me to become more open, and in that I can discover the opportunities to heal and to grow that are hiding behind the facade of feeling right.

34. It is a revelation to say that our reactions make us tired or exhausted. It offers a way forward that is through dedication to self rather than outside influences dominating every step.

35. Realising that endeavouring to convince another of ‘my truth’ that I am in fact imposing an ideal upon anther has been a big ouch to accept but one that has been very healing.

36. Playing a victim of being right will rightly get us what we want. In this energy I have created the outcome if not initially, it will eventually be. You become so invested in it that it will manifest in your own eyes. As soon as you have it though it is not it. There is no joy or expansive feeling in my body. Being real, and honest, knowing I am only the way I feel and what I know. I have realised what I know is a lot and it is ‘my right’ or truth to live that and understand life is only what I have created. Things are , if I’m involved, my creation.

37. What you so truthfully share in this blog Luz I am sure resonates with many, arrogantly thinking we are right and have all the answers, that somehow we are fairer, but how frequently have our actions come from a reaction? Where is the love? ‘there is not an inch of LOVE underneath all these battles founded in the name of ‘justice’. I have only found very personal and egocentric intentions and a very hurt being. A being that forgot a long time ago what it is to truly feel JOY and express it from within.’

38. I smile as I read this blog, I smile because I can relate to having been like this in my life too, the patterns of being right and reacting to situations like you describe are ones I have chosen to let go of as they are not coming from and with love and serve no one.

39. This is a very power-full blog Luz, as I relate to what you have shared about others and can feel that for me to feel the emotional issues in others that those emotions have to be in me, so I relate to; When I see that others behave out of control – let’s say they are unfair, arrogant, careless, competitive, lazy, narrow-minded, stubborn, egocentric, aggressive, etc. – my focus becomes THEM, I leave myself behind and get so obsessed with criticising, judging and complaining about them. I REACT. And in my reactions I can now feel how I was also in all you have shared so that the unfair, arrogant, careless, competitive, lazy, narrow-minded, stubborn, egocentric, aggressive, etc. would also play its part in my life.

    1. As you say Luz ‘I know that my exhaustion has to do with my lifestyle, but ‘reacting’ has been the very thing that has exhausted me so much.’ For a deep insight into exhaustion and why we ‘react’ go to;
       EXHAUSTION A MODERN DAY PLAGUE
       http://study.coum.org/enrol/index.php?id=41

40. The trap of ‘when I get or do …then Ill be happy.’ It did keep me in the endless pursuit of the next thing, then the next thing etc. I’m so glad I have role models who I can see have joy in their lives everyday and that there is nothing to do or achieve to have that joy, just a willingness to connect to what is within. I’ve tried it for myself, and its definitely there. No more chasing.

41. Reaction is harmful to self and to others – we allow being in re-action to rob us of the moment where a burst of fiery light will change a life forever.

42. Being real with the hurts we feel is something every person on the planet must master. The hurts continue on and on even with the tiniest thing, but the trick is to know that those hurts are not who you truly are, and are but a shadow covering the joy and love that is naturally there.

    1. Yes Heather, it is very empowering when we can let go of our hurts as we make the space to experience more love and joy in our life.

43. All the time we hold on to ideals and beliefs we have a need to go into reaction, because our expectations are not being met the way we want them to be.

44. It is interesting how much energy we can put into needing to be right, imagine if we put this same effort and energy into being loving I am sure our lives would be very different and more harmonious.

45. Thank you Helena, profound sharing and very accurate. The sentence (quote) that captured my eyes is: ‘I can feel how I become a channel of an authoritarian and dictatorial force. Yes, horrible and ultimately ridiculous. ‘
    Simply because I have known and lived so as shared above. But living now more in authority of my honesty instead of escape, I am finding it more and more easy to discard the lies I have been living and see the energy that was behind my choices. Now learning that there is no right or wrong, no criticism therefore is real or needed.. and hence where I need to work on is allowing, accepting and appreciating. Again, I also would have not been able to come out of this strong behavior of protecting my hurt (of being not my true self) that I had continued for so long.. Hence, there is no such thing as coincidence, but the true matter that I was ready for a change.

46. “I just got so used to sabotaging who I really was while defending something that wasn’t me, …”

    Isn’t it ridiculous? And yet that is exactly what I do a lot too – it so does not make sense, once we see it for what it is.

47. “I used to think that ‘working hard’ was a killer, now I know ‘reaction’ has been my true killer.” – Great point, the way we work and how we react to situations makes such as difference to our vitality and clarity. Serge Benhayon talks about being emotionally fit for life/ work and this is something that I think we certainly need to talk about more in our homes, schools and workplaces.

    1. So true, reacting and being emotional about things is so draining that once we know another way it is so not worth it anymore, yet one little slip up is enough and bang here we go, it feels awful in the body though.

48. Being right is an exhausting way to control our environment for safety purposes.

49. Thank you for an awesome blog Luz. Finger pointing at others is just another red herring to keep us off track – a very effective form of distraction to keep ourselves blinded from seeing the truth.

50. I love the awareness you have come to around your behaviours so that you can heal what you have taken on through the power of discernment and understanding the harm you were doing in trying to be right. Being right is something many of us can fall for at great expense to what is actually true, so your sharing is an important lesson for all.

51. As a school teacher I have perpetuated ‘being right’ was ‘important’ to gain the respect of others. As a parent we teach right and wrong to our children, and the education system continues to reinforce that behaviour is right or wrong, that opinions can be right or wrong and that decisions can be right or wrong. When we are hearing this all the time it makes sense why we grow up with ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ being what life is based on rather than TRUTH. The harm of this consciousness is unfathomable! Learning to let go of this pattern in my own life is allowing the space to bring a deeper understanding and love to myself and others. And as Richard says, ‘We have to work on the most basic of levels, the very choice of energy we make – and then from this foundation, life will also change.’

52. In this blog I see a reflection of my own desire to ‘fix the world’ and put things right. But somehow it doesn’t work. What I now understand from the teachings Serge Benhayon has shared with us all is that there is a fundamental need to change the energy at source first. We have to work on the most basic of levels, the very choice of energy we make – and then from this foundation, life will also change. We can fight, campaign, war, challenge all we like, but if this is all done from the energy of seeking happiness or the like, it is destined to fail, because at this most basic of levels, our choice has not changed.

53. We can make a career out of being right. Yet, we never focus on how does this affects our movements and how damaging is to move in sync with the angst of controlling that everything is where we want it to be for us to walk with the illusion of going somewhere.

54. The difference between truth and right is oceans apart, as you so correctly say while right may be the opposite of wrong, it’s simply a reaction to what shouldn’t be, where as the truth is reaction free and always comes with love, the truth sees that wrong and understands it and calls it for what it is, rather than countering it with an opposite.

55. This is such an awesome blog post Luz! As others have said, it’s so relatable. it’s like an illness, this need to be right, to show the way. it’s so arrogant. i know it all too well. I’m in the process of learning to accept people for where they are at, as well as accepting where I am in life and where my responsbility lies. All I need to keep remembering is that we are all equal, we’re just different shades of the same colour and so there really is never any need to be try to be better or less than another.

56. Luz, this is so relatable to me as well. I have let a lot of my reactions go now or should i say that I am less invested in my reactions but they still come up from time to time. It is so revealing to understand that we are covering up our deep hurts when we react in this controlling way and we are not expressing the gorgeousness we really are.

57. Hugely honest Luz – thank you for being so open about how you feel when you get into the ‘being right’ frenzy. I’m all too familiar with it, and whilst we’re not alone, it’s great that there is so much opportunity to step back, take a breath and consider what we are actually achieving or not achieving by being in so much reaction all the time. I would say it was all to our detriment.

58. ‘…my focus becomes THEM, I leave myself behind and get so obsessed with criticising, judging and complaining about them. I REACT.’ Oh boy – who has not done this? This is classic me. The more awareness I bring to my need to be right, the more easily I can let it go (sometimes through gritted teeth). There’s no end game, and also…everyone’s right and wrong is different, so it’s a losing battle half the time, because everyone wrong and everyone is right.

59. Indeed Luz an exhausting way of living when we react on how other people act or not act, the control we need to get recognition. It gives such a constant struggle and I am learning to let this struggle go and to allow and accept that my life can be truly joyful, no hard work, to just be.

60. This is great to read, and see that these behaviours are indeed present. The awareness brings it back to the truth of who we are.

61. Thank you for this blog Luz

62. I recognise so much of what you have shared here Luz. For me too, with the deepest thanks to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I have been letting go of my reactions and blaming of others, and have instead focused on myself. For if I have a reaction then it is not for me to see the reason for my reaction as coming from something someone else does or says, but to turn my gaze within and explore what it is I am hanging on to that is causing the reaction in me eg. the need to be right.

63. Trying to control outcomes is exhausting. Under the guise of wanting fairness for all because of my expectations is a form of reacting. Witnessing Serge Benhayon and his amazing understanding for everyone he meets is inspiring. We react because of our hurts. As i deal with mine, I do react less, but the reactions I do have have become more subtle and sneaky. it all comes down to choice – to harm or to heal?

64. I love how what you need most to read and or heal is right under your nose when it is time. Reading this I felt it was the first time I’ve ever read it… but I see I’ve already commented before! I see myself in everything you have shared Luz… the exhaustion of controlling and keeping things all together just to be right or seen as right, all deeply hurting myself and others. Oh this blog is like a breath of fresh air, seeing that it is just a choice and something we are not.

65. This feels like a blog to be re-read again and again Luz, I know a lot of what you speak of, in that I’ve lived from reaction for a very long time and I then get myself into knots when I do so. What I find really supportive reading your blog today is to understand that I want things to be a certain way, the way I see it, and my reaction is about control and in that I’m not being open and observing the world around me, I’m trying to shape it and to determine it and to dictate it and that feels very arrogant and very irresponsible and in fact it damages me and all around me. I can see and feel that in fact my job is to address my reactions and hurts and let others get on with their things, that my reactions are part of a distraction strategy to avoid addressing my own hurts.

66. This is awesome Luz. I can see very clearly the way that judgment sets us up for reaction and it’s consequences.

67. A great expose on being ‘right’, what I’ve learnt that being right may bring a temporary moment of satisfaction, but that’s a lonely place to be, it doesn’t add to the essential elements of life – no love, no truth, no connection. I’d rather be wrong and have those! 🙂

68. It’s clever isn’t it? We get caught up in what we believe, react when others don’t believe the same, which then leads us to exhaustion. It’s great to drill down to observe “what is reaction” too, for it can be very subtle. My needing to control things (like everything) is, I have figured out part of the way that I react. I just so appreciate these observations, for no school on this planet assists in questioning and approaching life like Universal Medicine.

69. Being right and reaching a goal and another and another has been my way of living too, very controlling way of living out of reaction. Very exhausting for myself and others and like you say Luz there is not an inch love in this.

70. Luz, you could have been talking about me, as I used to love being right and proving my point. But when I look back at that now, it feels decidedly awful and hugely imposing, and yes, not one ounce of love at all. Just forcing my point of view to apparently make me feel good, or more superior, but really, just the act of someone who does not have much self worth.

71. Thank you Luz, you describe in detail and most aptly what happens when there is a need to be right. We basically subscribe ourselves to a way of behaviour that then simply runs us because we have our mind set to reach this goal and nothing is too big to stop us. And I love how you point out that there is not an inch of love in this.

72. It makes so much sense that if we are in constant reaction to life’s challenges, not matter how small, that this most unnatural response in our body will eventually lead to exhaustion. When we use the body’s precious resources in a way that is contrary to its natural processes it makes sense that we will not only drain these resources, but if left unchecked our body will have no choice left but to stop us in our tracks, usually in the form of illness and disease.

73. For me personally the need to be right came from a drive to be perfect. It was something that snuck into every exchange with another and something that caused me much stress and worry. Letting go of this need and the false belief that perfection is reachable has completely changed how I now live in life. I too am forever grateful to Serge Benhayon and many students and practitioners of Universal Medicine, for with out seeing first hand the beauty of living life with joy and grace I would not have even let myself feel the falseness in living, striving for perfection and the out play of needing to be right.

74. Thank you Luz. The exhausting need to be right is a belief that another is wrong. If we live by what we know is truth then we have no judgement of others as we all, in our own time, find truth.

75. The need to be right is a poison in the body and shuts people out. It’s a way of remaining in the complications of the minds to avoid the clarity of the body and the responsibility that comes with this.

76. I can relate to this very honest sharing about the patterns and coping mechanisms we take on as a result of holding on to our hurts and how wanting to bury them has a devastating impact on our bodies. When we let go of right or wrong and bring understanding and love into our lives we are open to feel the unimposing quality within the unity truth brings.

77. Wow Luz your blog really highlights how harming the force is of the need to be ‘right’ is, I can relate to your sharing of this, as I know that I have fallen for this same pattern in the past as well. Learning to let go of this pattern in my own life has allowed the space to bring a deeper understanding and love to myself and others. What a game changer this has been in my life too thanks to the support of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine presentations that has been key to developing this understanding.

78. I recognise all the tension that arises from this need to be right. It makes it difficult to accept my mistakes. It would hurt to do so, and then I would react and want to accuse others of ‘wanting to be right’ – it’s just crazy.

79. The following observation is brilliant: ‘These reactions can sometimes slowly be transformed into rage. If I could, I would then punish people and hold them to ransom! I can feel how I become a channel of an authoritarian and dictatorial force. Yes, horrible and ultimately ridiculous’ This is a place any of us could catapult to at any time, and yet we point our finger at Hitler and other infamous dictators and their acts of supremacy, as if we have never experience this force ourselves. Thank you so much Luz Helena for your no-holds-barred exposure of one of the most damaging forces out there in our creation.

80. Wow Luz, this blog is a brilliant road map for everyone of us on this earth, to lay bare the wandering wayward paths we have become ensnared and lost in, so that we cease from going in that direction and come back to our hearts – to our cardio-centric guide to coming home!

81. I do not know how I missed this amazing blog when it first came out in September of last year Luz. I feel it should be ‘re-issued’ for all of us to read and comment on now – though I know it is sitting here ready for us to find. This is an incredible and detailed anatomy of what is behind the need to be right and the huge protectional structure built by a master architect around the injured, hurt self. That architect is the human spirit, which has its masterful ways of preventing us from knowing and expressing the true truth that we are. It is pure proof that we know how to untangle the webs we have woven and liberate ourselves back to who we truly are! Thank you!

82. We can be so wrong as I read from your blog Luz Helena, where you express “I used to think that ‘working hard’ was a killer, now I know ‘reaction’ has been my true killer.” And I know too that my body loves working hard and that it is capable of doing that effortlessly – but only effortlessly if I stay with myself and observe the situations I am confronted with. As soon as I got involved, I have reacted and wasted my energy into something that is not mine, and have lost the effortlessness I would have had without the reaction.

83. Pingback: The Power of ‘Sorry’ – The Truth about Serge Benhayon

84. I have found that the more I stay connected to the love within me the more this naturally expresses in my movements and in my voice. I can usually feel a reaction bubbling up like a bubble of gas in a pond and sometimes it has popped before I know it. When this happens it is not the end because by naming it , exposing it, bringing it to light, it dissipates and the connection with myself is regained and often that with the other person also.

85. You have covered so many points that I can relate to Luz – if not something of the past or a behaviour that is carrying on. This one really stood out for me though; ‘ I feel responsible for making my closest ones see their bad behaviors, woes, mistakes and I feel I am the ONE that can make them change.’ I had never put words to this behaviour before and seeing it written feels very exposing of where this is coming from. From my experience, when I choose to behave like this it actually pushes people away and creates separation between those who are closest to me. Also, it’s a bastardisation of true observation. Yes, sometimes I can see things in people that they may not be aware of, or maybe they are, but I need to honour and read where people are at and what will support – NOT blurt out what I feel they need to change for my own self satisfaction. If it is for self, it is not for service and there can be no evolution for either party.

86. The honesty and clarity in this blog is profound – you have such a direct way of expressing what you have been in Luz and how you saw your way out. There is no guilt or self-criticism going on, just an honest account of ‘yeah, I used to be like this’ or ‘I let myself be run by this’ and never do you claim that you are now perfect or fully healed, you offer the process of discernment and observation with yourself. Very empowering.

87. I could so relate to the need to always being right, of which I used to love to do. Now when I feel into it, there is such an arrogance and distance within it all, as you are basically saying, I know way more than you and I’m gonna win this discussion. It’s total separation and in absolute opposition to our natural way of us all as a one humanity.

88. I feel I have lived this same life. The joy to be found after letting it go, which is progressive, is enormous and a huge relief. Being right is an investment to compensate for not believing or feeling the love that I am. Once I began to feel the truth of love and the equalness of love, the need to be right falls away.

89. Wow thank you Luz for exposing just how exhausting and damaging being invested in being right is. For many years it was my focus and I lived in constant disappointment that others weren’t getting it and would then re-double my efforts to try and force them to see things from my point of view! Feeling how much pain I have inflicted on myself and others has been challenging but allowing others to find their own way in life has led to much more fulfilling relationships and given me back my vitality and love of life and other people. Hiding behind the need to be right is such a separative force and prevents us from living in brotherhood and joy.

90. The need to be right masks an arrogance in us that doesn’t allow another the space to fully express and be heard, because we’ve already judged that the other person is in the wrong. It’s a true recipe for stalemate.

91. Letting go of the need to be right, the need to control, is a revelation. Relationships are so much more relaxed. I am not watching for that difference but rather rejoicing in the many moments we have in common. My nervous system is not on standby, ready to pounce or defend what I think is right. I watch others unfold and grow at their own pace and life is full of delight and surprise.

    1. ‘Relationships are so much more relaxed. I am not watching for that difference but rather rejoicing in the many moments we have in common.’ So true Amanda, the need to be right is such an isolated position that needs constant defence which drains us and leaves no space for wonderment.

92. Thank you Luz, I can relate to so much of what you have shared. My experience has been, and at times can still be, that a ‘disagreement’ can go on longer than it needs to when either I or the other or even both need to be right to the point where I get to a stage of wondering what the disagreement is even about! These days it feels more responsible to recognise when this is happening and just stop the onslaught of words and see what I was reacting to in the first place.

93. Letting go of the need to be right and to have things done my way is so liberating; thank you Luz for the gentle reminder to not let this habit creep back in to my livingness.

94. ‘I know that my exhaustion has to do with my lifestyle, but ‘reacting’ has been the very thing that has exhausted me so much. I used to think that ‘working hard’ was a killer, now I know ‘reaction’ has been my true killer.’ When we react to a situation we are taking the energy of that situation on, and the result is very draining on the body. When we simply respond with the truth and not from reaction, we don’t take on the energy that is at play.

95. I loved re-visiting this blog. I can so relate to what you say and this is my story too. ‘Being right’ becomes important when deep down I know I have divorced the truth at some point, and my attempt at being honest is only just half-hearted. Perhaps if I can totally rest in the truth, I would stop seeing other people’s choices, behaviour and reactions as my problem.

96. We live under so many guises to hide the fact that underneath we want to be right, for me it was a form of proving my self worth if I am right not only can I control the situation and protect my hurts I am also showing that there is a value to what I am saying, and along with this some sort of acclaim and recognition. I can still feel uncomfortable when I am found out that I am not right so it was good to re-visit your blog Luz and look at where I still want to be right, knowing how imposing this can be on another.

    1. Luz’s blog is one I revisit often, because there are more and more subtle situations where I realised the energy of needing to be right is still there. I just keep clocking those times and eventually there won’t be anymore to clock one of these days!

97. Thank you Luz for a great blog, for me, the need to be right was for my own protection and safety or so I thought , it was my hurts I was protecting, identifying myself with them, and not allowing the true and loving me to come out and be expressed.

98. ‘The truth that I found behind those patterns of behaviour and the need of being right, not only reveals with precision the true state of the hurt that I’ve been carrying within for a long time, but it also holds the key to my healing.’ Beautifully said Luz and oh so true.

99. Like you Luz, reacting emotionally is my killer too as it not only makes us a slave to the need to be right but simultaneously drains and exhausts us with the need to ‘win meaningless battles’ within ourselves and others that are simply not necessary.

100. What comes up to me is: blame. I have had and still have (but less and less) moments that I go into blaming. I would simply introduce blame to not feel my power and take my own responsibility. Saying another name or even by intention blaming another. To me this has shown me how I have been used to not taking responsibility and how much blaming was easy, at for example as teenager blaming my parents for the choices I was making, how silly! All I can feel looking at it now , was that I had no clue how to deal with these hurts and at times I was unwilling to let go of them. Now, I still have and feel hurts – but I know that pushing them away with a ‘blame’ or a ‘name’ is not my truth and I can take responsibility and not put things on others. It feels so important and actually very true and loving to admit that I did had chosen to escape my responsibility. I now feel that I am empowered, I appreciate all support along my way, make my own choices and be at one with myself with self love and love for others.

101. Thank you Luz, this is amazing. I recognize all that you have shared. I also once thought that justice was the way – that if I simply prove my thing and even better convinced them – I was settled. But in fact, I would be feeling stirred up and full of emotion and heavy. I realize justice was just simply not working. Simply what worked was being aware of what was going on first, acknowledge what I was feeling and moving on, then at times in situations there were things that I felt to say and sometimes just acknowledging my truth in my body was enough. This has brought me to a space were often I don’t react anymore – because I tend to feel underneath why that it is occurring and how this relates to me. I learn a lot and feel way more free and not invested in the horror and drama that is at days around me and coming. Super amazing article Luz, it is for us all to eliminate the ill ways and get clear again. Serge Benhayon has truly supported me to come to my own clarity, truth and love, which makes me now able to stand, without protection but true love – For me it was just simply coming back to me. Thank you Serge Benhayon. Now I can truly say I am a more honest and loving person in all situations.

102. There are so many times where I use control over understanding and love. There I get into the protection of my own insecurities, and I feel that it brings an enormous misbalance, as I can’t be in my body when in reaction, I can feel how building the connection with me is key, as that will let me observe from that place that has everything, without any need or insecurities.

103. Yesterday I got reflected in a beautiful conversation with a man that I just met a couple of days ago how I very subtly defend myself when given feedback. I also became aware that I had a judgement about something regarding his choices and how imposing this is. What I do then is not just allow that choice (and him) but take on this role of being very wise and a know it all person, which is not loving at all. I am learning a lot from him and that is what I find so beautiful, that with every new interaction/meeting somebody/relationship, we get reflected where we are in control and therefore not loving.

     1. I am reminded Mariette, of how imposing the role of the ‘wise, know it all person’ is. It has been easy for me to go into this with my daughter, but her response says magnitudes: she turns away from and changes the subject. I feel yucky to her, and she doesn’t want a bar of me when I’m imposing. Good lessons.

104. it is profoundly liberating to let go of the need to be right, because underneath that need there is always hurt driving us on, absolutely insatiable, what a relief to not have to be right, but simply to relearn how to feel and how to reconnect.

105. One needs to be care-full because our preoccupation and addiction to being right sometimes blinds us to not seeing when we are actually wrong. Great blog Luz.

106. Luz thank you, you have highlighted something very common in relationships of all sorts…
     the need to be right automatically supersedes any seeking of truth, and most significantly, has not an ounce of LOVE in it, as you say so beautifully.

107. I know that need to be right and reacting and it is a killer and is very exhausting. It is only through developing a loving relationship with myself and the will to step back and re-connect with breathing gently that I am able to gain perspective. http://www.unimedliving.com/meditation/testimonials/meditation-in-daily-life.html

108. This need to be right kills relationships. When I thing and feel back to mine and others need on this and determined way of clinging to this idea because of a sense of our self esteem depending on it, when instead we could have had a lovely relationship building on the love that we had in common, I feel how sad this is. We were in competition, hanging onto hurts when we could have been building on something special. It was such a waste of time.

     1. While my own marriage is going from strength to strength, there are still times I notice when we both have a need to prove to the other that we are right. These moments stand out like a sore thumb these days and feel horrible. One day both of our needs will have dissolved so we will no longer have such competitive moments, I’m sure, for the time being, calling it out when it happens is vital and is working really well.

109. I know I have invested deeply in what I thought was right, in being right and in hanging onto what I thought needed championing because of its rightness. You have exposed all of this for what it is…a controlling behaviour, and what it is not…it is not love.
     How lovely it is to feel the slipping away of all of these old ways. It feels so light to let this illusion go. It’s taken a while to untangle myself from this one but now that I am aware of the damage this does and the power I have to not buy into it, every time I notice one of these ways I can discard it.

110. Yes that’s true Brendan- when there is a need to be right everyone else can feel pressured and trapped to also make the ‘right’ choices in the eyes of the other.

111. Thanks for this one Luz. Reacting is a huge tell tale sign of when we have lost ourselves. I find it doesn’t get me anywhere except further into the mess of things. “I just got so used to sabotaging who I really was while defending something that wasn’t me, whilst sacrificing and damaging my precious body on the way.” – story of my life.

112. A beautiful exposure Luz. We want to be ‘right’ when we have forsaken what is true. There is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, only what is love and what is not.

     1. “We want to be ‘right’ when we have forsaken what is true.” I love this Liane, so simple. Thank you.

113. Luz everything you described could have been me writing my story as well. Thank you for exposing in such detail how exhausting and controlling needing to be ‘right’ is all the time. Living like this I’ve pushed many people away, and been in the huge illusion that this is who I am. This has changed phenomenally since meeting Serge Benhayon and observing how he is with everyone, holding them in the absolute love they are. This has helped me to see that when I lose it and act out, I just need to stop and come back to responsibility and bring understanding and love to what is going on. I will be visiting this blog again. Thank you!

114. I’m not having a great week, and I can feel that so much of that comes down to my controlling behaviours. The need to want to be right about everything, the need to control situations and my emotions so that they are ‘right’. There is a desperation with wanting to let go, yet the fear of what might happen if I do paralyses me enough to choose control instead. I don’t always feel this way, and I know it will pass, but without getting to the bottom of it, it’s bound to make a full 360º return.
     Thanks for sharing your experience Luz.

115. Like trying to take a dog away from its bone, the hanging on to ‘the need to being right’ so exhausting there is nothing gained from trying to prove another wrong. I would rather have ears that truly listen than to speak with a mind that only thinks its right.

     1. So true Marion, hanging onto the need to be right is ‘like trying to take a dog away from its bone’ and is the reason for most arguements I would daresay. Once one or both parties thinks they are ‘right’, it is no longer the truth being sought.

116. Serge Benhayon completely debased ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ and how fraught thinking this way is. Since then I have witnessed how strongly owned I am by the notion of right and wrong by how often the word ‘right’ can creep into my thoughts and speech. It is yet another way Serge Benhayon has loosened our shackles of illusion. Being ‘right’ (or wrong) has certainly had a light shone upon it.

     1. This is true Deanne, the word ‘right’ is present in much of our speech and working in a school I hear it all the time as the children are asked to do ‘the right thing’. When we are hearing this all the time it makes sense why we grow up with ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ being what life is based on rather than TRUTH.

117. Luz you name so many reactions that can potentially take hold of anyone here it reminds me how all kinds of energy is always passing in and out of all of us and used whenever we want to call in sabotage and defense.

118. Captured in just a few words – reacting when others are being egocentric- thanks Luz- this is something I can react to as well, silly though- in essence it is being egocentric because others are being egocentric.

     1. Great point Deanne ! Often it is the things in others that we don’t like that we don’t really want to look at ourselves .

119. So true Luz, hard work is not what exhausts me, it’s the emotional reactions I go into – especially while at work. If I am working with respect to my body hard work is energising, while day after day small, but accumulated, emotional reactions can take me far from myself and everything gets pulled down by this. Other behaviours start to enter as do thoughts that are more negative and self-critical. Seeing the reactions as expectations I am attached to because I have deemed them right is a great way to deal with them and stop depleting myself.

     1. Yep, so true Deanne. I too am completely exhausted by taking on the emotional reactions of others at work, at home, everywhere really. I know there is no need for me to do this, but with such a strong pattern of behaviour, I need to accept it will take some time to undo.

120. There is something quite destructive when I am not listening to another, madly defending what I say. The destruction is of something quite divine, my soul getting the chance to come in and play with me, converse with me through me. As I shut down the communication channels because of my defence mechanisms, I am shutting down the magic of God.

     1. Beautifully expressed Suzanne, very true. If we only had this level of awareness on the true implications of getting into the “being right” mode, we would definately shut up and chose to listen others. Thank you for your comment.

        1. Yes Luz, there are so many times that I hear myself getting on my high horse about something and think ‘just stop talking now’! I know by how worked up I am that there is nothing loving coming from me at all. Such a great reminder from Suzanne too – “As I shut down the communication channels because of my defence mechanisms, I am shutting down the magic of God.”

121. I’ve never thought of this before: that we all have our own ideals of how things are / should be and its like we create our own little mini religions (often within a larger subset) that we then sell and cajole others to subscribe to…. with little or no reference to the truth.

     1. I can really see how non-negotiable it is to get rid of my ideals and beliefs in favour of the plain truth, even if someone doesn’t like that.

     2. Ha! Absolutely…I am the ring leader for many of these mini religions, obviously, as I created them. So interesting what we convince ourselves is the way, or the truth, when in fact, it’s so far off.

     3. Brilliant observation, simonwilliams8. It’s like we each construct our own fortress and continuously fight to defend it no matter what – just because it’s ‘mine’.

122. ‘I just got so used to sabotaging who I really was while defending something that wasn’t me, whilst sacrificing and damaging my precious body on the way.’ An excellent description of how we set ourselves up for a life of misery under an illusion that we’re somehow protecting and serving who we are, when we’re in fact being anything but ourselves and wreaking havoc on our bodies as we go.

     1. It seems crazy hey Cathy.

123. I enjoyed reading your honest blog Luz and it gives me a better insight into why I also spend time in reaction. Thanks for the wisdom.

     1. Yes I agree Joe, this blog does bring understanding around why we choose to react to situations.

124. As has been indicated, there is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, only truth and the reinterpretation of truth or essentially untruth. True truth is absolute and holds a living unimposing quality of unity and equality that the heart cannot deny.

     1. Right and wrong seem to create the fight, or the argument. Truth can be argued with too, yes, but it will be one sided – the one holding the truth need say nothing at all, that is the power of truth, it stands tall in the face of oppression.

        1. Love this Suzanne, I find that if I am sharing something that is truth and the other person disagrees then I don’t tend to react…. but if I ‘think’ I am right and ‘think’ I am speaking truth and no one agrees then I find I react and go into convincing. Very clearly showing where I am at. Right and wrong is so exhausting and full of pressure.

        2. So well said Suzanne. One does not need to argue about their truth as they just feel it- it doesn’t matter if the other person ‘gets’ it or not as regardless, it’s solid for you.

125. I continue to glean so much from both the original blog and equally so the comments. It is amazing to see so many hundreds of people willing to learn more about themselves and willing to change the parts of themselves they don’t like because of their honesty and desire for truth in their lives.

     1. Yea agreed Suzanne. I love reading the discoverings that people find out about themselves.. It’s like a hint for everyone else and an awesome inspiration to keep discovering more stuff about yourself too.

        1. Agreed! Nomination with the assistance from an Esoteric practitioner when needed is one of the only true ways that we can truly heal.

126. The rage of injustice is very familiar to me Luz – and I really connected with.. ‘ I want to see that same intention in others, meaning that I won’t give more than I receive because that would be unfair.’
     The control and anger here to not be open and be my all in each moment is really just a sadness in holding myself in protection. Because I know it is a story, I know the protection of my hurts is keeping me in reaction to patterns and I know it is my choice to stay there or come out and feel the wonder of who I and others truly are.

127. The need to be right is indeed a crippling force that feels so hard and tense in the body. Thank you for sharing this Luz, your honesty in finding out the truth of what drives this force is very relatable and healing for all. When we drop the guard and need for others to be a certain way we can melt into acceptance and feel the Joy our body offers when we are not held in an ideal.

     1. I love how beautifully you have written that when we drop our guard and the need for others to be a certain way, we ‘melt into acceptance’. It does certainly feel like a melting, taking the rigid, old way away and replacing it with something very fluid and allowing.

128. Luz, thank you for your honesty. Part of the power of being right and holding to that as fiercely as you have, means that what lies beneath can not be challenged, the guard is so strong, the battle so intense. It made so much sense when you shared – ‘I have only found very personal and egocentric intentions and a very hurt being’. Now this has been exposed, your beautiful light will be free to shine forth in love and commitment. You are inspirational in your commitment and your loved ones are very blessed.

129. I can certainly relate to what you have written about here and have had my own battles with control, wanting things to be my way and being inflexible, especially with my family. Understanding and accepting that everyone has their own stuff to deal with and that does not have to impact on my life, unless I allow it.

130. So beautifully expressed, Luz Helena. I can totally relate to that need to be right, wanting to correct, punish and humiliate the world and others for their ‘wrongs’. It is about my reaction, not about them. So, why react? – Because I feel my well-being depends on them and their choices. Woops, I have just found a rather twisted understanding of Brotherhood there.

     1. This is funny Fumiyo, it is indeed something like that… at the end all these empty battles of being right and punishing people are ways to bring back order based on our own hurts, our own pain for having been humiliated or treated badly. It is just about self and my hurts, it is about me me me here and the others out there in need for correction. It has nothing to do with all as one in our essence of love and true brotherhood. A big learning for me still. Thank you!

131. Awesome points shared here Luz. Thank you. I grapple still with these issues within my family – this drive to have people ‘get it’. It is so imposing and not at all understanding of where they are with their development within themselves. I don’t know what’s been going on for them for lifetimes – so how can I expect us to be on the same page. I can simply love, observe and reflect something true.

     1. And the same goes for me and my work colleagues; pretty much everyone I meet I guess. It is not up to me to change anyone, but myself. If someone notices and is inspired by me, then great, this is the only way for true and lasting change. If no-one notices, then so be it.

        1. Hi Ginadunlop and I love how you put it Suzanne, simple and very straight forward

           ¨If someone notices and is inspired by me, then great, this is the only way for true and lasting change. If no-one notices, then so be it.¨

           There is a moment where we really need to feel like that…., if we don´t bring this simplicity and understanting its very difficult to get past all the emotional attachments we have with certain people, lets say our children! Or other familiy members (maybe easier with collegues)

           How ¨hard¨ it is to see that people are not getting it, and we know how much they can get hurt by that…But as I read this comment I could see how I am in front of another layer of emptiness where I am still deeply attached to outcomes, imposing on others and changing them, based on my need to get confirmed and recognized from the outside and make things easier for me… and life is not about that, enough comfort and entertaiment we have created and nothing changes.

           It is about feeling what is there in front, not only from myself, but from others (even if it is not nice), and instead of reacting, know deeply what all this is about and then express what is needed without expectations….. no space for dramas, conflict…we are really not in control of anything and anyone outside of us

           How expansive, loving and truthful this would be?

132. It is so deeply healing to stop and feel the hurts that govern our loveless behaviours. To go into being right and making others wrong only adds to the chaos we are reacting to in the first place. It’s a vicious cycle that we do have the power to break – so long as we are honest, take it to truth and are able to laugh at ourselves afterwards.

133. I love how beautifully and honesty you have expressed, Luz, as well as you willingness to take responsibility and make new choices going forward. My experience has been, that when I am hard on myself, I am hard on others. When I am kind to myself and accept that I am not perfect, I am more allowing of others to make their own mistakes.

134. Luz this is so openly and deeply insightful. I too, relate to what you’ve written here and the exhaustion and disconnection when we hold on to ‘being right’. “….‘reason’ fights ‘reason’, ‘reason’ explains in detail to ‘reason’, ‘reason’ tries to prove wrong to ‘reason’ and ‘reason’ doesn’t care a bit about the other ‘reason’, just wants to WIN and impose its sense of what is right. How complicated, I’m exhausted just reading this, the ridiculousness of the whole game is so obvious. I know this one so well, I would ‘plead my case’ over and over from every angle believing that, if I just said it in the ‘right way’ I would ‘get through to them’ and they would have no choice but to see ‘I’m right’. I would not budge from what I considered to be ‘the higher ground’. Who was that person? What arrogance and separation I maintained and how ‘unreasonable’ I was, considering myself to be a ‘reasonable’ person. Only through the simplicity of love and deeper connection do we find understanding and true reason.

135. Reaction to others, events and life has been my killer too, a drain on my energy levels. It is freeing when I don’t react. Thank you for this reminder that we can lovingly deal with our hurts and let them go.

136. The hurts we hold on to can really blind us from seeing beyond what is ‘right’ to seeing what is actually ‘true’ and what we are needing to heal in ourselves. In truth we don’t need to be right, only get to the truth behind the reaction. This is a recurring lesson for me.

137. I am also letting go of being right. It was, for a long time, important to not be wrong, so as to be good, then it became about expectations and ideals and also a way of being superior and feeling better about myself. Now none of that matters and the letting go of being right holds pleasure and freedom and allows my body to let go of that complication that felt like tension.

138. Luz – a great blog full of such wonderful insights giving me so much to ponder on. I too have realised how very exhausting it is when I allow myself to be driven by the need to be right and these wise words of yours certainly summed up how I used to live: “I just got so used to sabotaging who I really was while defending something that wasn’t me, whilst sacrificing and damaging my precious body on the way”. Self-sabotage, needing to be right, being someone I wasn’t, hurting my body – the list goes on – no wonder I lived, or more accurately, existed, in a permanent state of exhaustion. Every day I appreciate the day Serge Benhayon came into my life and presented me with the possibility that there was another, a less exhausting, way to live. The days of existing in exhaustion are long gone and today, even though it’s still a loving work in progress, I finally know how to truly live.

139. This one line stood out for me whilst reading this blog ‘I used to think that ‘working hard’ was a killer, now I know ‘reaction’ has been my true killer’ – this has been evident in my life also. I could never understand what it was about work and why I couldn’t stay in a job long and would look for a reason to leave, but looking at it now I can see that I was in reaction and exhausting myself, and at all cost had to get out of that situation. The thing is every time I moved on, I took my baggage with me. It wasn’t the work but how I was living my day whilst doing the work.

140. Your realisations Luz are amazing. The way you describe how you’ve been against what you have chosen to be is really quite remarkable. I can relate to so much of what you share here. Particularly that need to want to protect oneself from any further hurt, by ‘being right’. It’s all so fascinating.

141. I felt to return to your blog today, Luz: I picked up on, “now I know ‘reaction’ has been my true killer. The consequences of living a life in permanent reaction, and struggling to let go of these reactions, has been the true reason why I’ve given away all my life force trying to win meaningless battles.” This has such raw honesty and I can totally relate to 1. engaging in these futile battles 2. realising that there is not one iota of love in them.
     In spite of this, this drive o be right feels like such a massive consciousness and one that is global in its effect. Thank you for highlighting this, Luz.

     1. Yes Coleen24 – this was a great marker for me in what Luz has shared. It’s either Love or it’s everything that is not Love. When I am in reaction I feel this marker will allow space to feel if Love is evident and if not then I know I am out and need to focus on returning to Stillness and the Joy I am rather than the focus of someone else’s supposed ‘wrong doing’.

142. That is so good to read, it is so beautiful to hear you express so honestly about yourself and the parts in life where you have explored that you have not allowed love in and out:) would love to hear more and I will take my presence into my day and observe when and where I am reacting to, great tip:)

143. In 99% of what I read, I will notice if there is a spelling mistake and quietly to myself clock that; I am thinking thank goodness it wasn’t me who made the mistake, or I wouldn’t have made that mistake, or I am cleverer that that person. Ugly to see this behaviour in me. But I have decided what is the worst that could happen if I actually let other people make a spelling error and be okay with it? Perhaps I might then be able to make a mistake too, and not have to be right all the time, or self sabotaging all the time. Perhaps always noticing the spelling mistake is one of those meaningless battles I seem to be so fond of but that I clearly find exhausting.

144. What an extraordinarily honest and insightful expose of how the force of reaction lays behind the need to be right, Luz. I have found there are many situations and events that encourage us to be self righteous in this way; there are even passages in the Christian Bible that exhort us to walk the Path of Righteousness and I, too, have observed that energy of righteous indignation within myself.

     Your article sheds a very clear light on what is behind this, and shares how it is Love that enables us to heal both the energy and and its effects in our bodies, once we have identified these facts through knowing the truth.

145. So great, to be awakened from this ingrained behavior of being right and reacting. There was no other reflection until Serge Benhayon came along and made us realize and remember there is another way to be with others. How common it is we bring our hurts in every contact with another. By all doing this we can’t meet each other from our essence. So observing is the only way we can see who another truly is.

146. Being right all the time is to make life true for all based on our own perspective, but our perspectives are limited by our hurts and our ideals of what we think life should be like. We are in effect, in a great form of control and manipulation of a very thing that in-truth can never be controlled or manipulated – life.

147. A very beautiful and honest sharing Luz, thank you. In feeling from our bodies what is true, the need to be right evaporates, as what is felt from the body is known.

     1. Well said Giselle. When we live the love that we are, what is not of this love will dissolve, no longer the master of who we are, its stranglehold released.

148. Sometimes I can be reacting to something, which at the moment it is occurring, I didn’t even realise I was. I realised only with deep understanding and humility that something could be a different way.

149. Luz, you have shared so honestly here- thank you. Being “right” feels to me like a protection for us to not feel our hurts or vulnerability. I am learning to feel both.

150. Luz, thank you for shining a light on being right. I know this very well, and reading today showed me how absolutely unloving being right is. Love allows another the time and space to see things for themselves, it doesn’t impose our timeframes and ways on another. Your comment ‘I have a focus on bettering myself, trying to permanently be more in control, so I will be able to show that I am RIGHT.’ was an ouch for me – even when I address things often it’s to show that I’m the better person, and now I realise it’s not always from the view of seeing what is there truly, what is needed and having no investment in out there or the other. If I approach something with feeling what is there, the hurt I carry and address that rather than spending time trying to manage my reactions and others that would be so freeing – I am learning to do this, but I see there are very subtle ways control and reaction can still creep in, it’s always first about coming back and feeling in us are we reacting and what is really underneath that. Luz this blog is just great, it’s opened up so much for me to consider!

151. Thank you for your blog Luz. I can really feel how needing to be right can hurt and abuse the body, and really affect every part of life through our relationships.

152. Thank you for your very honest blog Luz, I have learnt much about my own need to be right, and what that does to my body, and relationships to others, and how destructive that is.

     1. In me, the need to be right creates this destructive force that wipes out any ability to feel what is true. I defend my point of view, blinkered to what is really going on.

153. Thank you Luz for bringing to the forefront of my mind the way I take up righteous projects at times feeling the need to be part of the push for change. But as you and many of the comments say we need to make everything about Love and come from Love first before we can do this.

154. The honesty and the willingness to look deeply within into the reasons as to your reactions, is a great inspiration for me to feel and be more honest as to my own reactions to situations and how those ways have effected myself and others lives. Having expectations of how things or people should be is setting ourselves up to be let down and then we react. Allowing things to unfold with no expectations is a far better choice.

155. Your honesty is truly beautiful and exposes a significant point – that beneath the expression of any of these qualities is a very hurt being. The understanding you have brought to yourself and your patterns and now others expressing similar traits is inspiring.

156. This is a great blog. Thank you Luz! I have the feeling that in one way or another, to a greater or lesser extent it would be very difficult to find someone who during her-his life did not fight what is not right according to her-his version of how things really are and ought to be. As you have rightly said, this is exhausting because the whole thing is about controlling situations so to avoid being hurt, again. It is a deep level of hurt we are desperately trying to avoid by all means that drives us and not an empty ideal of justice we are pursuing.

     1. So true, Eduardo, that this is a trait within all of us. It makes me wonder what is the net effect of 7 billion people all wanting to be right, but within the restricting confines of what we believe in, which, of course, is going to differ from person to person. That sounds to me like a recipe for disaster and a huge capping of natural expression and communication. Hmmm…we seriously do need to get past this right issue….

157. I agree Luz that reacting and fighting to be right is very exhausting. I have tried this one too. Being able to let go and let life unfold is my new learning.

158. “A being that forgot a long time ago what it is to truly feel JOY and express it from within.” That finally made me cry. I find myself so deeply reflected, finger on the spot! Thank you deeply for these healing words. Nothing else to add…*

159. A very honest and truthful article.

160. Thank you Luz – I can totally relate to a lot of what you are sharing here. My reactions are an alibi I choose to not be who I am in truth and to not make my life about love first and foremost. Thankfully I am seeing through this game to choose love instead.

161. Loved this sharing Luz, and I could so relate to all of it. My need to be in control and be right, was such an exhaustive and very detrimental way of getting through life. I can now see and feel, how damaging it was for myself and those that I imparted all of my rightness onto.

162. Awesome Luz, this is such a great blog and I can relate to so much of what you share here. I’ve also had a very strong sense of what it ‘fair’ and would either measure myself against it and not give too much if I thought it wasn’t even, or hold people to ransom if I thought I was ‘giving more’ than them. While I’ve definitely let a lot of that go, it still comes up now and again and feels horrible in my body.

163. It does feel like poison in the body Kristy, the emotions felt as you push your point onto someone else. And conversely, it feels so refreshing and unimposing when I just listen, and accept that someone can choose to say or do it their way. I really have learned with Luz’s blog here, that there is no need to prove my ‘rightness’.

164. What a great blog, so much of which I could relate to and see within my own life. I loved how you revealed that when you truly felt within, it was evident that this way of being was not from love. This feels like a much truer way of determining if our responses to situations serve others, ourselves or in fact are just reactions to the deep hurts we can all carry within.

165. Luz thank you for your honest and revealing account of letting go of being right and reacting, to bringing more of you and your deeper understanding to the world. This is very inspirational.✨

166. How hurts control our life- lovingly take responsibility for the hurt and feeling it- I like that… There is no other way and I really liked to read the honesty in your blog, thank you.

167. Wow what awesome in depth insights Luz, thank you for sharing them.
     Its amazing how when we (my self most definitely included ☺) don’t take responsibility and heal our hurts that we are then run by them, its like we allow an energy in that then runs the show, governing how we act, react and think in situations.

168. I can very much relate to what you write. Yes, reactions are themselves exhausting, a killer of life force. I also have a controller in me, focused on how things should be or go. This can show itself by something simple as going from A to B, let’s say in traffic. The controller energy kicks in, when I leave just in time. Then the whole world has to get out of the way for me to reach my destination. If not, I feel a huge authoritarian energy dropping in, like a ruler of the road. Yes, a big hurt underneath that for sure. What helped me with this, to start with, is to give myself enough time, leave in time, have space to in a gentle way move from A to B. Miraculous what happens. I can see the controller wanting to react, but there is no reason anymore. I look at it, feel it and breathe it out of me.

169. “I think being fair is my drive. I want to see that same intention in others, meaning that I won’t give more than I receive because that would be unfair.”
     Luz, I can see that I have also used this as a reason to hold back.
     This made me to look at so many little things that I had been identifying with that were not me.

170. I can definitely relate to how amazing it feels to let something go… to let go being ‘Right’ or ‘wrong’; and not be so attached to being right. Trying to prove you’re right has no purpose. It only brings more tension into the relationship by trying to tell someone they are wrong. To me, that feels horrible, hurtful and in no way a pleasant behaviour.

     1. Well said Rebekah. Pushing that we are right and another person is wrong is very hurtful. I get attached to being right and generally the purpose for me is simply that I am not seen as being ‘wrong’, but I am reminded that the essence of who I am surpasses any true need to be right or to hold on to hurt.

171. I can certainly relate to what you share in this article Luz. Being doggedly convinced that I am right put me in judgement and criticism to those I thought wrong. All very exhausting. Learning to let go of the judgement and just be me allows me to see where others and I are forming our opinions from.

172. Thank you Luz for your revealing blog , yes to uphold a supremacy view is to look down on others and to see our self as above is the core of what holds the world in the illusion of separation from each other and attempts to hold back love with the result being much pain.

     1. Great blog Luz, and I can totally relate to the title of your blog, the need to being right. I would push my opinions onto others whether they asked for it or not as my head would say, they need to hear/know this and off I would go. Thank-fully I am addressing that highly exhaustive and harming practice since attending the presentations by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine and so now am much more aware when I start to go into that pattern. I also recently attended a training course for my work called, asking better questions, which highlighted how much we actually do tell others what to do instead of turn it around and ask them the question, what do you feel you could do. Now if I start to go there, I ask myself, so what’s going on for you, and remember to breathe and feel my own body.

173. Thank you Luz and I can relate to much of what has been shared. As I am learning more about how often it is possible we are reacting through the day and that there are times these reactions are happening and we are not aware it highlights the importance of being aware of what we can feel in our body. It is only now in my life as I have developed a relationship with my body that I can feel the reaction and therefore have an opportunity to look at the cause. Whereas before it was just a case of feeling exhausted and blaming it on work or doing too much.

174. I absolutely love this line; “I used to think that ‘working hard’ was a killer, now I know ‘reaction’ has been my true killer.”
     That is awesome! Because working hard is good for us and I feel has such a positive effect on our mental state of being, physical state and our feeling of having purpose and commitment but why do we end up so tired? What are we reacting to? It may even be the smallest thing… like reacting to the fact that we have to be at work! If we change the way we are in all that we are doing we do realise we can work much more and be less tired.. that is when there is little or no reaction. This I know really affects my body when I try to hold onto things or situations or things that have caused me to react.

175. Thank you Luz. I too have found that it isn’t a hard day’s work that leaves me exhausted, but me being in reaction to whatever it is I’m reacting to, that drains me. If this truth was taught in schools — that reacting literally drains you, the world would be a very different place — and a whole lot more productive and vital.

176. Great blog Luz! I have done this as well, putting all the responsibility on other people and when they don’t do it the way I would have done, saying they were wrong and made me feel bad. I can now feel how much this was actually hurting me the most..

177. There is a lot here to consider Luz, I can relate to controlling, wanting to be right and reacting and if I didn’t get my way I would get angry and have difficulty letting it go – so exhausting.
     At times it would feel like I would be trapped in the reaction with no way out but having been around people who have found a way out of this type of behaviour, I now know that it doesn’t have to be that way. The people I refer to is Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine Practitioners and the Student body.

178. A great re read Luz, with so much more there to relate to. With my ways, ideals and beliefs being quite strong at times and the tension and stress this caused when life didn’t reflect the same back. In contrast to the flow of allowing and accepting whilst watching or keeping an eye on the choices and how good or better choices lead to more of the same.

179. Thank you Luz – I found what you had written very relatable to how I have lived with me and been in my life. I have found the support of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine to be a steady and illuminating light to help me keep moving towards a greater sense of self connection and a life lived joyfully.

180. Ouch, ouch, ouch! I can relate to this as I very much had a need to be right. You describe the ‘me’ I used to be, particularly this : “I just got so used to sabotaging who I really was while defending something that wasn’t me, whilst sacrificing and damaging my precious body on the way.” An incredible expense to the body which is now being rectified.

     Serge Benhayon has supported me also to know, love, and accept the true me, the me who has no need to control, fix, sort out, mold to my way of thinking, or manipulate to keep the picture how I want or need it to be. Thank you for expressing it so clearly.

181. A brilliant article and beautifully expressed. Thank you Luz. It has me now pondering on those hurts that I haven’t dealt with that are causing the reactions that I have been experiencing/choosing.

182. Wow, thank you Luz for this blog. I loved how you have shared that our responsibility is actually in ‘letting it go’ with understanding, such a contrast to that old feeling of being responsible for telling others how it is or taking on their situations. I also related to what you have shared about our essence, the way of living that is not in-line with what is loving – for self and then all others – does not actually fit nor belong in our natural way of being and this is something you have inspired me to feel more deeply into and explore for myself in my life.

183. It is so freeing to be able to allow others to make their own decisions and our part in this is to be love, to let go of the judgement and to hold all in equalness. You have expressed this so well Luz. This has supported me to look at the ways I judge, and to let them go.

184. Thank you Luz, for such an honest blog! and for bringing light into the damaging consequences on our bodies when we live life in the constant need of control and reaction, it is only until we understand that we use this as a way to protect hurts that we are not willing to deal with that we can start to let go of such damaging behaviours. I am very grateful to Serge Benhayon for supporting me in letting go of these patterns, that at one point were causing me to live life full of anxiety and anger.

185. This is SUCH a powerful blog. Thank you for being incredibly honest and sharing what I believe many can relate to. Realizing that unresolved hurts can cause “ugly” reactions is the first, most difficult, but most important step to healing, and you have taken so many more steps toward healing this. Thank you for shining your light and for the healing inspiration. Wow.

186. Learning or evolving out of the “need to be right” is the self righteous stance I have taken on many times and has been a work in process and I agree Monica that it brings brings hardness, coldness, and also separateness. It doesn’t create space for all to express equally either, and for me and others a draining experience by the attachment to being right.

187. Incredible blog, I’m amazed it only has 40 responses! I relate to every word, and there were more than a few ouches of recognition within me for this is how I can be at my worst – dictatorial and authoritarian. It happens less and less, yet there is still a part of me that wants to be recognised for being right and when I give this free reign, I’m like a terrier and won’t let go! Where did this need spring from? Why is ‘being in control’ of the wellbeing of others so crucial to me that I would sacrifice my self- worth for it? Because it feels truly terrible afterward and it’s not who I am at all! Over-reacting to the reactions of others has been my weakest link as it seems to justify my behaviour…they reacted first, so it’s okay for me to. Crazy stuff for we all end up less. Remembering to just feel and allow in the freedom of others to experience life and learning in their own way, affords me the same and harmony is maintained and better still, lived. Which is all I really want anyway!

     1. Hi Peta, Thank you. I feel you have just described the whole blog in this comment. It is huge how ‘the being recognized for being right’ is HUGE. It is as if I have invested so much on training a brain, gaining knowledge, polishing how I articulate things just to be always right and get this type of recognition! Very empty and cold if we truly think about it I also love the question you pose: ‘Why is being-in-control of the well-being of others so crucial to me that I would sacrifice my self-worth for it? Spot on reflection. For me the answer is pure inner pain and hurt. Sometimes, if I truly get to feel this hurt, I keep coming back to the same feeling: An old memory of humiliation! Can I just let it go? Can I just take responsibility for it all, let go of the victimization and the compensation I created through becoming a terrier? I am ready to let it go, it does not serve my purpose anymore, it does not make me who I really AM.

        1. Peta and Luz I relate to everything you say. The need to be fair and right was my pattern until I was introduced to Universal Medicine. “Over reacting to the reactions of others” is still creeping in from time to time but I now know that in that state of reaction I am not feeling, I am out of touch with myself hence the need to reconnect and let go of the need to be right.

188. Luz, as I look honestly at my own behaviour, I see the 4 numbered points are so true about me too. Thank you for putting it in black and white for me to be able to nominate and shed these ways of being that do not contain an ounce of loveliness or pleasure in them for me, nor anyone on the receiving end.

189. Luz, great blog. Being right is such a curse and yet I know it’s something I’ve lived for a long time, it’s been a comfort blanket but an unfulfilling and counterproductive one, one I’m seeing affects many parts of my life. I know in me and observe in other also that when we go into this energy, it brings a hardness and a coldness, it becomes all about being right and in the process the other is crushed – yes a cold, lonely, hard way of life and not one I want to continue, but it takes time to break as it’s so entrenched and rewarded even, and yet when we step away from it and truly collaborate we see and feel more of us, more of the other, and to do so involves being honest and feeling everything even our hurts while knowing that’s not who we really are – it’s our way to step out of the cage of being right.

190. Control is something which is easy to crave for, as it never allows you the tension-less moments to truly feel the hurts you wish to not feel. Lovely fluid writing in this blog 🙂

191. Your blog highlights just what level of personal change is possible in the way we feel about ourselves and others when we finally address our hurts and accept ourselves for who we truly are,

192. Thank you Luz for your deep honesty in sharing the exposure of your self-harming behaviour – very inspiring.

193. Inspiring read Luz and it’s great how you were willing to be honest and look deeper into these behaviours. I can relate to much of what you have shared and it is a way to be for many always ‘fighting our corner’. “But there is not an inch of LOVE underneath all these battles founded in the name of ‘justice’. I have only found very personal and egocentric intentions and a very hurt being. A being that forgot a long time ago what it is to truly feel JOY and express it from within.” This is worth remembering when stuck in the ‘being right’ mode! Thank you Luz.

194. Luz, I love what you write. And reading it today I recognised so much of how I indulge in reacting, in wanting the world to be a specific way as a way of protecting me and my hurts. There is so much here for me to feel and consider, thank you.

195. I have come back again to your amazing blog Luz. Today I was in a conversation with a close relative and we had very differing opinions on a matter. In the past I would have spent a lot of time and effort trying to convince the other person that my way was the right way. Today I expressed how I felt and allowed my relative to express their feeling. It felt lovely not to try and fix anything or come to an instant decision. We left a space we could come back to after considering what the other had said. So great to allow others to be. So great to let go of all the trying to control.

196. Luz. Magical blog. I always assumed that I was always right, and nothing was going to change my ways, until I heard one of Serge Benhayons talks, and then realised that maybe I could be wrong at times. By the time he had finished speaking I thought, if there were two of me, no way could I live with the other me!

     1. I love it Mike, such a humorous and simple way to describe those two voices inside us, the one that chatters away and does the behaviours and the one that quietly observes and makes an occasional comment. That is the one to listen to.

197. Thank you Luz, for this amazingly honest blog. There is so much here I can relate to that I felt this could have been written just for me.

198. Wow, thanks for your honesty Luz. Inspiring how you questioned and looked deeper under these behaviours.

199. Terrific Luz, you have ‘shone a powerful beam of light’ upon what I’m sure is
     a very fertile area. I remember when as a small boy, I witnessed adults, especially
     around the dinner table, proclaiming and pontificating, often prefacing their outpourings
     with ” I maintain that………..” This would be accompanied by certain body language
     such as the clutching of one’s jacket lapels and the reddening of one’s face. The latter,
     probably, had more to do with the consumption of alcohol! These days we are so fortunate
     to have access to the teachings of Universal medicine to inspire us
     in our expression and to expand our horizons.

200. Luz, fantastic blog, so honest and so true. I so know being right, and the feeling of control I can feel with it, but it’s an illusion as you show, and really I’m reacting to the world and how I feel it should be, and in doing so I hurt myself more, in addition to the hurts that I didn’t want to feel in the first place (ow). And as Jinya beautifully added, it’s all a game to be an ideal which is in truth a lesser form of who we are. It feels there is so much to take in in this blog, I will need to re-read it to feel it’s many layers. Thank you.

201. This is so huge! Most of us like or have liked being right about one thing or another, or most things… or everything in some cases. It’s interesting that the intention to be ‘right’ is synonymous with the one for being ‘good’. And it really says a lot about how we are conditioned to not deal with our hurts but do our best to manipulate our spheres of life to our own liking instead – by trying to control, by being ‘right’. It flips everything upside-down or is it right-side-up?

     If my need to control comes from not facing up to my hurts, and my hurts are not truly a part of who I really am, then trying to be ‘right’ and ‘good’ come from what I am not – a lesser version of me. Society holds up these expressions as being the pinnacle of an ideal human being that we are told to strive for. No wonder we are all so exhausted and caffeine is the second most traded commodity in the world!

     1. Jinya, this is also huge. A great addition to Luz’s blog post. There is a recurring pattern of requesting others to fulfill us. Are we being liked, are we being right, is what we are doing good? Remembering that we know this as a child and act upon it but force ourselves to “lessen” on the basis that we are taught to fit in with society, really reminds me that I already know the truths I just need to forget the lies.

        1. Yes Phill… I’m discovering that the more I try to fit into society by being right and good, it is a confirmation that I am not good enough to begin with. It makes sense in a non-sensical way. If you don’t feel good enough, of course you’re going to aim to be good-er. But the truths have never left us. We have always been much much more than just good before we chose to be the lesser version of ourselves. And it is still there in all it’s tender warmth.

        2. Jinya and Phill, wow this is eye-opening, to be right, to be good is to live from hurt, from who I am not, and yet we’ve constructed a world around that, ouch. So Phill as you add, it’s just about forgetting the lies we’ve learned, peeling back the layers and of course being willing to address the hurts.

202. This is brilliant Luz, and super honest. When I got to the part where you write “and ‘reason’ doesn’t care a bit about the other ‘reason’, just wants to WIN and impose its sense of what is right” I was reminded of just how defensive I am, what a master of protecting myself from the fortress I have built around me to stop the world from hurting me… but ultimately that fortress has meant I have become distant and cut off from the world which is a tragedy. As you say the way forward is to let it go, and allow the world back in.

203. Hi Luz, Thank you for sharing – it is very exposing how we can and do use forms of control, needing to be right, etc.. to cover up our hurts which we ‘think’ are too big to deal with. I know where you are coming from as I too have tried adamantly at times to defend exposing my hurts at all costs! But now seeing them as not being a part of me, it is easier to let them go and not defend them.

204. Luz, I feel you have described what it is to have true responsibility in expression, because not only are we affecting other people when we react and try to control by always ‘being right’, but we are obviously hurting our own bodies in the process too, by putting it in a state of stress on a regular basis. It’s also so easy to just complain about other people and the injustices or evils of the world without taking responsibility for ourselves first and what we have control over. I work with a gentleman who I can feel is caring and tender inside, but has focused so much on being right and how he has been ‘done wrong by society, the government, etc.’ that he now gets himself emotionally fired up and angry on a regular basis. As someone who used to be into the same conspiracy theories and complaining about what’s wrong with people, I asked him how it feels in his body when he gets angry about these things because I had come to realize a few years ago that being like that was eating me up from the inside and very unhealthy. He said ” I feel good Mike, I really do”. But what I felt underneath that was a man who is exhausted, using that emotional energy to keep him going and ‘feel alive’, and a hurt little boy. It’s very exhausting to always be right, and so much easier to accept people for who they are, not accepting abuse, but knowing that if we just focus on how WE act in the world in a way that is as loving as we can, it will eventually inspire others to do the same. Your blog Luz has done just that, and I can feel myself letting go of even more of my hurts and need to be right after reading it.

     1. What you say about accepting others as they are feels to me to be a key in resolving this incessant need to be right, Michaelgoodhart. Thank you for sharing this insight.

205. Thank you Luz. Truly amazing and I can relate to this blog very well. Awesome how you share with such honesty and clarity.

206. Thank you for this amazing blog Luz. I will re-read this many times, to really delve into why it is for me, this need to be right. For me, this creates a fight in me and between me and others which hurts emotionally and physically. But as Sally pointed out above, behind the trying to be right lies a hurt we do not want to feel. It’s awesome that through this blog, you have allowed me to see what causes this and hence I can heal.

207. Pingback: The True Joy of Not Needing to Be Right « The Truth about Serge Benhayon

208. WOW, thank you for this healing and for exposing that behind trying to be right is a hurt that we are trying desperately not to feel.

209. I can so relate to this blog and feel that I am in the throws of this at present. It’s interesting that it has taken me some time to read this since it was published and so I can tell I was avoiding this. I react a lot to things and yes it is because I have a need to be right. It is put so clearly in this blog where you speak of reacting because situations turn out to be different to how you want them to be. I can tell in me that this is the case, that I am often very invested in how I want things to be or how other people should be towards me that I react and cause great harm to my body in the process by getting angry. The next question really is why would I want things to be a certain way or believe that I know best? Is it as a result of feeling disappointed that life is not how I know it could be? This is still to be explored, but putting pressure and ideals onto situations and people is not the answer and actually only creates disharmony and conflict.

     1. I agree Shevon. Thank you

210. Thanks Luz. Loved the way you expressed this with such clarity and honesty.

     1. I agree Bryony, it makes such a difference when we share from the intelligence of our heart and not the intelligence of our head.

211. Wow, Luz, this is such a power-full exposure of how re-action can take us so far away from whom we truly are. As I read your blog I could see so many of my behaviour patterns, and how far they can lead me astray if I let them.

     As you said “If it wasn’t for Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine (UniMed) I would have spent all my life trying to control and feeling guilty because of my outbursts of anger, blindly psychoanalysing and fighting myself and others”. Instead I am slowly unfolding back into the truly beautiful, precious woman that I am and finding a new fulfilling life which is a blessing for both me and others.

212. Thank you Luz – your personal responsibility is inspiring.

213. Thank you Luz. What a brilliant exposure of the need to be right, or control the environment around for self. I recognise it well! How beautiful is the help we have had on seeing and transforming this ill way of being from presentations by Serge Benhayon – the willingness to understand the whole picture and then express accordingly.

214. Thank you Luz – an amazing, honest and inspiring blog.

215. This is a great blog Luz, thank you for sharing so honestly.

216. Wow! This article is so beautifully expressed Luz. The need to be right is such a huge need in me also. Thank you, you have really spelt it out. I can particularly relate to “I just got so used to sabotaging who I really was while defending something that wasn’t me, whilst sacrificing and damaging my precious body on the way”. I am finding it so interesting exposing the needs I am holding on to… it is great knowing that it is all a ploy to avoid feeling my own hurt and ultimately taking responsibility for it and letting it go. I also have Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine to thank for this.

     1. It is truly humbling how much we harm our bodies with this mindset, Kathleen, and how it has us in a stranglehold that is refusing to acknowledge the level of our own hurt. It’s quite a piece of work, really, this attitude.

217. Awesome honesty Luz – loved every word you expressed.

218. Thank you Luz for yet another amazing and truth-full expose blog on our behaviours. I loved it and I look forward to more of your awesome insights.

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