The Power of ‘Sorry’

I always thought that saying sorry was an admission of failure and a weakness, something to be avoided at all costs and derided when others said it. This was definitely learnt and reinforced at home and school. So, as a child I became artful at avoiding saying sorry, mastering all sorts of defensive and deceitful strategies simply to not say sorry, admit defeat or have my pride dented in any way.

This pattern of behaviour was fully entrenched by the time I reached adulthood and I can think of numerous situations when a mistake I had made was exposed and I would go into full ducking and diving mode, working fast to devise a way to divert the problem onto someone or something else.

What is flashing up for me now as I write is that this is what led to, or founded, my mastery of shirking responsibility.

Quite recently I have re-explored this – asking myself some pertinent and important questions.

This has come about because I started to notice that I am now saying sorry with ease; that it feels great and very opening in the relationship with the person I am saying sorry to and that, instead of reducing me in shame, it is freeing me from patterns of self-criticism and self-loathing.

I have found there is no shame in saying sorry – no abject apologising that leaves me less than the person I am apologising to – simply honesty, which comes with the humbleness and willingness to learn from mistakes.

I no longer want to shirk responsibility. I no longer want to avoid saying sorry.

And whilst these may appear small changes in my life, they are part of a bigger picture that has come about as I have worked with The Way of The Livingness a way of life that empowers everyone to know that they are in their own driving seats, not only masters of their own lives but an integral, essential part of humanity and all of our wellbeing.

Inspired by Serge Benhayon, who introduced me to The Way of The Livingness 9 years ago. I had absolutely no idea how life-changing this was going to be. Simple and practical, the teachings have transformed every area of my life and for this I am hugely grateful.

By Matilda Bathurst, Registered Midwife & Nurse, Teacher and Mother of 3 boys, Hampshire, UK

Further Reading:
Reaction Vs Response
From Apologist to Confident
The need to Being Right

737 thoughts on “The Power of ‘Sorry’

  1. What an illusion we are in to try to be perfect and never admit fragility, we are always growing and learning and that is actually a beautiful thing.

  2. I was the complete opposite in that I would say sorry the whole time … sorry for existing. I would even say sorry to my boss at the time before asking them a question about work or a job I was doing. It was very debilitating and also maybe awkward or irritating for those around me. However through the support of Universal Medicine and loving me more this is no longer a thing. I have more body confidence and love for me than ever before. What I came to see though in reading your blog is that people might be on the complete opposite of the spectrum (like we were with saying sorry) but when we make it about true love and healing everything is brought back to harmony and an equilibrium to a point that neither of us have a problem or issue with the word sorry.

  3. When we used the word sorry from our heart and with absolute honesty it can be very powerful. And on the flip side, have you ever felt sometimes this word can come with an emptiness when it is expressed? 

  4. When we are transparent and open with others we can apologize in a true way, and know there is no perfection needed, only an honesty to see we are all equal and we are all learning in life.

    1. Very well said Anna, this is so true and it is supportive to express from a true way. But if we apologise with guilt, shame or in a reaction then it can have a harmful effect as this stops us from learning and it can erode our self-worth and confidence.

  5. I would like to say sorry to humanity, my brothers, for not listening to what I know in leading The Way with regard, and exquisitely reflecting the power of love we all hold equally within.

  6. I have a manager who is very quick to say sorry if they have any part in things ‘going wrong’. I feel this is very important for team members to see. They see the humbleness, imperfection, lack of need to be right and care for how others feel. It means bad feelings that could have carried over and festered are dropped. So I agree, sorry, when genuine is very powerful.

  7. I’ve always been kind of the opposite – and apologising too much, the slightest thing and I would apologise – almost like I was apologising for my existence. So I’ve had to work on always being humble and apologising when I’m wrong but not apologising for who I am.

  8. The power lies in our honesty to recognise our actions for the truth or not and the expression of nominating them for what they are.

    1. I agree Esther, I have found when I express from absolute honesty, there is no apologies required, I find this is deeply healing.

  9. The power of saying sorry is very humbling where everyone gets a blessing because when sincerely expressed, the power of saying sorry breaks down those invisible barriers of protection, and when they come down, both parties involved have the opportunity to let each other fully in.

    1. There is a decency, respect and consideration that is healing to experience when we can genuinely say we are sorry.

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