Loving Daily Choices and Healing Hurts

Recently, I had a moment where I realised that I have not truly stopped to feel the enormity of life, my life and myself.

I have not stopped to feel how far I have come with my personal growth and how I now feel my life is nothing short of absolutely amazing. Everything that I am and all that I have is a blessing. My life being a blessing is a reflection of the daily choices that I have made. I have made loving choices that are supportive of me and everyone and everything around me.

Looking back on my past I could see and feel how much I lived in disregard, with no consideration for how my choices were affecting me, my body, my life or those who came into contact with me.

I was not aware nor was I at all present with how my daily choices were impacting on my body. Yes, I was unwell, but so were a lot of other people; it appeared to be the way of life. You got an ache, an illness here or there, you had a drama or three every day just to keep you on your toes.

I began to question if this was truly how life was meant to be.

After having my first esoteric healing session with Serge Benhayon, I quickly realised that:

  • NO, life certainly was not meant to be this way – that is, with continuous drama and feeling unwell.
  • I was creating the ills in my life, my relationships and in my body.
  • My life was the way it was through my own choices.

I had to take responsibility for the way my life was. It took some time and a level of honesty from me in allowing myself to feel the devastation of what I had created.

I discovered that choosing what I wanted to feel, controlling the hurt so it did not sting too much, was not a supportive way to live life. I had to allow myself to feel the hurt and all that came with that in order to allow a full and true healing to occur.

The hurt only hurt when I tried to avoid it; not letting myself feel everything that was there to be felt was actually more harmful. So I began the long process of letting go, feeling the consequences of my daily choices and all that came with them. At first it was not easy; I resisted, made excuses and even lied to myself about how great I was doing.

Initially I set a marker for myself that was actually way below how truly amazing I naturally am. When I reached the marker I believed I was doing well and moving forward, when in actual fact I was not doing it at all – I was measuring and controlling the pain and disappointment. I had chosen to set my marker lower so that I could choose to remain in and be surrounded by areas of comfort that would not expose my deeper hurts. The hurts that stopped me from shining and being all that I truly am.

How much of me am I willing to…

  • connect to,
  • remain in connection with,
  • commit myself to, and
  • commit my way of living and daily choices to,

… in order for me to be in a way that is of true service for humanity?

I was willing to do the esoteric healing courses, retreats, presentations and attend abundant sessions with Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, but just attending and partaking: then I realised partaking was not enough. I had to be prepared to go deeper, to look at the bigger picture, to be completely willing and wholeheartedly open to doing whatever it took for me to heal my hurts and therefore shine.

Letting go of the non-supportive comforts of life that hold me back has been a test to my level of commitment to humanity. I have found that we often love our non-supportive comfort, in whatever form we can get it. Whether it be eating foods that are heavy or sweet, which dull or stimulate the body, to acting a certain way with friends and family just to feel accepted. Un-supportive comfort can be lots of things, for me; it is using things and being in a certain way that leaves me feeling unchallenged, or does not ask me to be all of myself.

In many forms and vices, no-one is exempt from having non-supportive comfort in their life, big, small, obvious or subtle, and when the comfort is exposed it can be raw, often painful… We tend to protect and justify it with a fight to the end. We want to hold onto this type of comfort in any way we can, even if it is only by a thread.

In the past, I chose to do and eat things that kept me feeling lethargic, heavy, racy and not supportive to my body. The daily choices that I make now involve not overeating or overdoing it when my body is feeling tired, honouring what my body is capable of – for example carrying groceries a few bags at a time instead of pushing myself to carry them all at once – and being myself around others without fear of not being liked or accepted. I am no longer attached to or have an expectation of how I think my life should look; instead I am being open to what is needed, what is loving and supportive.

So For Me… it is time to let go of the comforts I have chosen to support me in coasting through life, unchallenged and unexposed, and that have kept me less than who I truly am. Time for me to stand up, claimed in the love and light that I am and to shine for all the world to see.

I have chosen to start being honest about why I needed to eat particular foods: was I feeling tired and that is why I reached for something sweet or stimulating… or was I feeling down so chose to go shopping to make myself feel better? Being honest about what I was feeling I could begin to heal any hurts that I had buried by using life and all that life had to offer as a distraction from myself.

The level of appreciation I felt a few days ago left me pondering:

  • Why do I not do this every day, every second of my life?
  • On how easy it is, and
  • That it is there for me to see and feel whenever I so choose.

I can see that my life is now amazing and I fully appreciate how supportive my daily choices are. All that I now am is a testimony of the livingness that I have chosen to commit to, with the support and inspiration of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.

By Nicole Serafin, Age 42 years, Tintenbar, NSW

597 thoughts on “Loving Daily Choices and Healing Hurts

  1. Dear Nicole, I love what you have written here and it felt like you were writing my experience as well. This line particularly – “The hurt only hurt when I tried to avoid it”. I am going to take that with me and ponder it because there is such a belief that hurts hurt more when you feel them. This turns it on its head. It can be raw when you feel them, but it is usually momentary. Living with them can feel like a life sentence, hence the comfort.

  2. Our life is the living example of the choices we make and the most loving thing we can do for ourselves is to slowly, deeply, gently go deeper and expose the small detail that keeps us trapped in what is not true – thank you Nicole.

  3. When we appreciate true and genuinely supportive changes that we’ve made in our life it helps to make them a stronger part of our foundation, from which to grow and develop even more love in the way that we live with everyone.

  4. I love to heal my hurts by truly feeling them and let them go for ever. True freedom is there. What a gift to have the esoteric Healing modalities available in our lives if chosen so.

  5. I can now see that my hurts, and the deliberate choice to go into them are the one thing that is blocking living the FULL powerful, loving, wise and tender man that I am. So I am committed dealing with them, and the same time not judging myself, still accepting my grandness, that I am a great guy, when I stuff up every now and then.

  6. I recently had an experience that exposed the level of comfort I had been living in and choosing to ignore. What I learnt was that although it was painful to feel, the joy and expansion I felt after taking responsibility for my choice of comfort was incredible. It was far more painful to sit in comfort than it was to expose what I was turning a blind eye to.

    1. Thank you Kim, this is very inspiring ” It was far more painful to sit in comfort than it was to expose what I was turning a blind eye to.”

  7. Once we let go of the hurt there is more on offer in how we can build a life of consistency in our foundation. The choices keep bringing more clarity, simplicity and the wonderful teachings of how life can be lived through the teaching of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.

  8. Thank you Nicole, this is fabulous. I haven’t really considered comfort in relation to burying and managing hurts, so your words have offered me a great insight.

  9. ‘The hurt only hurt when I tried to avoid it..’ This is true, we are so afraid of feeling what we feel, but it is the only way to actually free ourselves from the crutches of avoiding the hurt. Seem like all our habits, all our behaviours are used as an avoidance, so take away the avoidance, the habits then aren’t needed.

  10. When you reached out the words : expectations of how you want life to be.. It literally killed one of my big comforts, I could feel that for the first time I were more open considering my own image of “life” and how I want it to be.. I can feel from image I am holding the true reality away, which is very needed for me to see actually.. So what this blog learned me is now to discard the images and expectations I have about how life should look and move on from them – seeing reality in life and let life come to me in truth. I serve much better myself and others from that.

  11. Where we stand today is a culmination of all our past choices and we are in a perfect position to change the patterns and momentums which keep us in comfort and in denial of who we truly are. It is never too late to start the journey of uncovering our hurt and to heal their root causes, this requires an honesty, an openness and a willingness to see ourselves in all our amazingness and to also see what it is, and why we have chosen to live less than our amazingness.

  12. ‘Time for me to stand up, claimed in the love and light that I am and to shine for all the world to see.’ Beautifully said Nicole, the world needs powerful reflections such as yours as too many have forgotten the truth of who they are and are living in a way that is not loving or supportive. Learning to live without comforts seems overwhelming at first but the more you let them go the lighter and grander life becomes.

  13. “I was not aware nor was I at all present with how my daily choices were impacting on my body.” I can relate to this way of living too Nicole, being in my head the majority of the time allowed me not to feel the impact my disregarding choices were having on my body and I realised how disempowering it was to do this to myself as well as dull my awareness of the effect I was having on everyone else around me.

  14. Huge blog Nicole… I know exactly what you mean about those unsupportive comforts. They are not good for me but I hang on to them for dear life. Your blog allows me to feel where I am at with this … and yes it is uncomfortable 🙂

  15. There is no forced change in this either. No I must eat this way or I must do more of this for myself. It comes so naturally and gracefully through simple self honesty, without criticism and acknowledging the changes and enjoying the process along the way.

    1. Beautifully said Jennie, the choices simply become our next movement seeded forth from our previous loving choice.

  16. Allowing ourselves to be who we are and not calibrating or measuring to fit how we think others want us to be is huge. When we stop calibrating and controlling, and drop our guard and allow ourselves to just be, it’s actually liberating and empowering for us and everyone around us.

  17. Prior to meeting Serge Benhayon I believed I was living a very responsible and caring life, particularly in comparison to many others. However, what Serge presented, and never ceases to present, is a way of life and level of integrity that made me realise I was living in total judgmental and arrogant illusion. This was challenging to acknowledge and accept but by doing so my life has become simpler, less stressful and more honest and truthful.

  18. “I had to allow myself to feel the hurt and all that came with that in order to allow a full and true healing to occur.” This is why healing is not an easy process and why many people are not willing to go there. However, it is essential and the freedom and joy that comes with the healing out ways any pain one experiences and is beyond words.

  19. This is an ongoing project if you like, an ongoing commitment or living way. It’s not that you never get to the end of it but the mere fact you think or perceive it ends is already blinding you to another part. Life isn’t what it seems, just a physical outplay of what is going on around you, there is an energetic part that accounts to life before the physical comes into play. So there is a life within a life, ever thought of someone and had them call or remember something and then notice it more or look for red cars and think you haven’t seen any for ages only to see so many. We see in life what we put into life and so hold life as just a physical thing and your view will narrow to that, open up to more and more of life being another way and that will also present itself to you through your eyes. Ever had the feeling of more, or life being about something bigger? It’s not chasing the physical things in life that fill this void but more the energetic part, the greater part of what is going on around you. Life and the awareness around life keeps growing or expanding and if we stop this expansion or growth then we allow something else to come in.

  20. it is super inspiring to read of your absolute commitment to jump in, boots and all, into learning to uncover the truth of life… to be honest about how we are in the many ways that is not congruent with that truth. and as you have shared “The hurt only hurt when I tried to avoid it; not letting myself feel everything that was there to be felt was actually more harmful. ” – therein lies the cause of so many complications we create in life just to avoid having to face what hurts, when in fact this just creates a thicker fog around us to not see that ‘hurt’ is not of us at all. freedom is being able to see the truth of us beyond the fog. So commitment to honesty and love are the first necessary steps.

  21. Recently I had a very tangible realisation that I am actually untouchable – nothing can ever touch me unless I allow it. It was very simple, and the difference between that, and allowing complications in my life, was stark – like black and white. I used to be ruled by my hurts, but now I can allow them to surface without the avoiding, obsessing and indulging that used to be my every day. Thank you Serge Benhayon for bringing the incredible teachings of the Ancient Wisdom and making sense of it in our every day life. I am learning to be greater Love all the time knowing its never stops. There is always more.

  22. This morning I am feeling pretty raw, something has happened that has triggered some of this hurt feeling you describe Nicole. So it’s a beautiful reminder to read your words and remember that the biggest difficulty we face is caused by us running away. I am going to support myself this morning and just feel what is there and what is happening for me.

  23. Nicole it is amazing to hear the changes you have made. Serge Benhayon has been a beacon of light for many and will continue to be for many many years to come.
    In a world where we have lost our way there is a man who is reminding us all of the truth we hold in our inner hearts.

  24. Appreciation is a language we can all speak and like a key to a long lost treasure chest it unlocks the Love in us. For it turns out that it is not a rare ‘nice-to-have’ or ‘the icing on the cake’ but an essential way for us to move, act and think. Let’s not wait till that raining day, or that eulogy we tearfully give – let’s live appreciation today and marvel at who we truly are and what we all bring. Thank you Nicole – I appreciate you reminding me.

  25. We Can deliberately choose to not appriciate ourselves to keep us down as when we start to feel vital And shine iT comes with an increase of responsibility. This way we get challenged in our comfort.

  26. This is a great overview of the various stepping stones once we choose to take responsibility for our life and everything that happens in it. It also means that things don’t just happen to us but that were are the instigators of everything, so-called good or bad; and that is in itself a very empowering and potent motivation and change agent.

  27. ‘Looking back on my past I could see and feel how much I lived in disregard, with no consideration for how my choices were affecting me, my body, my life or those who came into contact with me.’ Great exposé our choices really do affect those that we have contact with and particularly those we connect on a more regular basis. It is because of this I have realised that my responsibility is not just to myself, but the rest of humanity and therefore every choice I make has to be a more loving one.

    1. So true, every choice comes with a consequence. It calls for responsibility on many levels. The abdication of this responsibility means we get arrogant with our choices and get them confused with free will – yes we have free will to choose but that choice always comes with a consequence. I wonder whether we just can’t cope with the fact that our choices have far deeper consequences than we want to accept and therefore we choose not to be aware so we don’t have to take that level of responsibility.

  28. Food choices are a powerful marker of where we are with ourselves, others and God: they directly affect changes in mood, behaviour and feeling. We are responsible for the planet we live on in the tiniest of ways and have a larger responsibility to the all. It helps to know we’ re all energetically linked by particles: to pollute our own bodies and minds pollutes the whole planet.

  29. How much are we willing to commit is a great question, and what is actually possible if we do truly commit to every single moment and second of the day?

  30. To not let myself feel everything is more hurtful.
    How hurtful it is that we lived for so long in ideas and beliefs from the mind and forget about the true connection with ourselves and our body and all that love that wants to come out.
    To hold that back from humanity is very hurtful. This is what we deny. We play part of the game and will see the price it costs in many forms to come.

  31. Beautiful moment of appreciation that has me stopping and appreciating all that we bring when we chose a life of love and truth.

  32. We often compare how it used to be and how it is now and think we are doing great, but comparison is just that, measuring if there is more or less obvious abuse – abuse is abuse – and I feel that’s where I need to be more honest about the choices I am making.

  33. We choose what makes up our life and so it follows that the outcome of these choices will be what we are living. For most of my life I believed that I did not have any control over what was happening ‘to’ me and that I was a victim of life. This blog Nicole shows that there are many areas that we can choose to look at and to change to re-connect back to our own inner heart, to empower ourselves, our body and stop living in the illusion that others or society knows what is best for us. When we choose energetic responsibility and energetic integrity in the many simple things such as food choices, exercise plans, holding true to the love we know we are etc, then not only does our world change but our reflection to others changes and allows the space for them to also start to claim themselves.

  34. Great article Nicole, full of wisdom. I agree, letting ourselves feel all there is to feel is key to letting go of that which we embrace to cushion and or protect us from what we feel. In other words, we are locked in a perpetual cycle of having struggled with what we feel, numbing ourselves to that, and continuing not to feel. At some point we need to break the chain and get raw and vulnerable.

  35. I have recently been reflecting on how powerful self appreciation is, not as a theory, but as something I decided to give a go. The results have been life changing. thanks for sharing how appreciation has impacted on your life Nicole.

  36. It’s an interesting realisation you had Nicole that you had set yourself a marker less than the amazingness you truly are, so then you could feel that life was better whilst staying comfortable. I can feel I have done that too. Thank you for sharing.

  37. Feeling the enormity of what we can bring and not appreciating this enough can easily create a freak out that tries to convince us that we are not this grand. When we truly appreciate and allow ourselves to feel and be honest, none of the dramas we choose to create can ever diminish how grand we are.

  38. The fact is the way our life currently is, is not the way we are designed to live. It only makes sense then, that there should be a tension and sadness to feel in everything. If we resist feeling this we get lost and separated from the truth of us. So I can only agree with what you show here Nicole, that the key to healing ourselves is to start with acknowledging the hurts we feel. Going off and doing things without dealing with this only leads to more difficulty.

  39. You mention justifying your choices here and I am starting to see this more and more, the defending of the self-abuse we use to dull ourselves which in turn creates a complication. Bizarre.

  40. Allowing ourselves to feel the true effect and impact of our daily choices on our body impulses us to take responsibility and to change and refine our choices to be far more loving and deeply nurturing.

  41. It is only now looking back that I can see and feel how disregarding of myself and others I have been, ‘I could see and feel how much I lived in disregard, with no consideration for how my choices were affecting me, my body, my life or those who came into contact with me.’ With this awareness I have been making new choices that honour and respect myself and other people, bring back self responsibility.

  42. ‘My life was the way it was through my own choices’. When we can be this honest, our next steps are already showen of what to do next and through this honesty so much support becomes available.

  43. A bit of an ouch reading this today and realising I have simply ‘shown up’ to a lot of very supportive presentations without fully incorporating what has been shared into my life. You remind me that we can have a truly amazing life if we choose it.

  44. True change is something to behold. No fanfare, no trying, no wannabe grasping for a better life. Just true change that is you walking as you on earth.

  45. At any moment we have the choice, by virtue of the way we move, as to whether we make our life a blessing or a curse. The choice, as always is ours.

  46. We all have to take responsibility for how our life is, after all we are the creator of it through our many choices.

  47. “The hurt only hurt when I tried to avoid it; not letting myself feel everything that was there to be felt was actually more harmful.” I agree there is no escaping that. Last night I had met someone new. It hurt our heavy they felt. I did not want to feel it. I could not look at them. I was bothered by if I did how much the hurt would show on my face to the point where if I did they would feel there’s, and I’m scared then to know what is possible from a hurt person – reaction, defence, denial and burying. This is better than not feeling it at all and, the reflection is how I have chosen to bury my hurts and how scared I am to feel how much I have sabotaged myself because of it.

  48. The teachings of the Way of the Livingness show us that we are responsible for our lives. There is great freedom in this and huge joy.

  49. Our hurts only hurt us when we try to avoid feeling them as we control and suppress our natural expression by holding on to them instead of feeling the hurt and choosing to let it go and allowing ourselves to heal.

  50. When we don’t allow ourselves to feel the full impact of our choices on our body we don’t stop to take stock or change our way of living and carry on in the same way making the same choices separating further from knowing our true selves.

  51. Great blog to stop and appreciate all that Universal Medicine has offered many. There are many of us who have made incredible change to our lives and up held them and offered them to all we meet. In appreciating this we see and feel how true change works in the world.

  52. “The hurt only hurt when I tried to avoid it; not letting myself feel everything that was there to be felt was actually more harmful” This is true even though a few years ago I would have had difficulty understanding this. As I have become more honest with myself and gained more clarity with a willingness to look at my hurts I have been able to feel what it does to my body along with the constant tension and irritation and discomfort that won’t go away. As soon as I allow myself to really feel the hurt and why I am hurt then it becomes easier to see it for what it is rather than using all my energy to avoid what in truth can not be avoided, possibly buried but our hurts surface time and time again until we are willing to look at them.

  53. Comfort is truly evil in the sense that we get comfortable living a certain way and whilst we are comfortable we don’t tend to question the harm being done…until the harm accumulates so much that the comfort is rocked or removed completely and then we may be prepared to see what has been accumulating over time but we were too comfortable beforehand so we just ignored it.

  54. Thank you Nicole, reading your blog again today I realised how normal living from hurts can feel for me, it becomes a way of life and a “normal” especially if they begin at a young age. I have found that the reflections of Serge and Natalie Benhayon have inspired me to challenge what’s normal and continually let go of the hurts so I can experience more love and joy in my life. The comfort we choose is like a band aid for the hurts, we don’t deal with them and stay stagnant, but what’s behind the hurts is more love – living that is well worth the process to let them go.

  55. Something as simple as making self-loving choices can and does change our lives beyond anything we could imagine, and the best part is it is simple, and it costs nothing. The fact that we do not have to struggle through life and walk in misery until the end of our days is free to us, and no amount of money can buy you this – so it does not matter how financially wealthy we are.

  56. ‘Yes, I was unwell, but so were a lot of other people; it appeared to be the way of life’. The evil of comparison exposed in a single sentence.

  57. I just moved into our new house today, it is absolutely epic but there was still a part of me going through and clocking all the things that I wanted to change, not that there is anything wrong with making improvements but I could feel that I was bringing more focus to what I wanted to change rather than the appreciation of how far I had come. Reading your blog this morning reminded me that I have literally transformed my life and I have everything and more than I ever thought possible, the house is a symbol of what I have built within myself, with my husband, my family and within the broader community.

  58. I love this reminder Nicole to be aware of the need for us to make loving daily choices. I quite often sabotage myself with what I eat and by doing too much when my body has expressed this to me through how I feel.

  59. Comfort is like a drug that we partake of to numb ourselves and distract from the restlessness and unsettlement of not being who we truly are, of not living to our potential.

    1. Yes, it is like alcohol, except that the hangover comes much later and is much more pernicious as we simply end up being less than we are.

      1. I had not really seen comfort as the googly it actually is but you have both made it very practical here and shown it for the horror it is. It keep us from ourselves, from the love we are, we are from and from living our potential therefore keeping everyone else from their potential as well. It only takes one reflection of NOT living in comfort for us to be shaken and start questioning…till we ask ourselves who is ready to take that step and lead the way regardless of being noticed or followed … are we?

  60. Not having an expectation of how we think our life should look allows us the freedom to be ourselves and to take responsibility for our everyday choices supporting ourselves as best as we are able to. The more loving we are the more our body responds.

  61. Loving daily choices are what allow us to build a true foundation within ourselves. From there we can deliver all that is there for us to deliver.

  62. Sitting in our comfort zone keeps us imprisoned and prevents us from living the true purpose of why we came to earth… quite literally we are wasting a life time.

  63. Yes, life is much bigger, much grander than I ever imagined and it is a great exercise to move within that grandness rather than carving out a small part instead.

  64. We all as humans have a ” great” hurt to feel and its an insidious hurt that started with a choice to not express our full and true self and every choice after that has been insidious in creating the ” great ” hurt. But the great hurt has no power, it’s the living of the “great” hurt that makes it hurt.

  65. Honesty means we are prepared for whatever is in front of us to deal with, it means, in fact, we are less likely to get hurt yet there is a belief that we have to protect ourselves and often that involves lying both to ourselves and others. We live some illogical logic!

  66. We hold onto hurts, and do not go deeper by choice. Interestingly how much are we willing to open up and let go, claiming an amazing life with no hurts or issues? This is the real question

  67. Beautiful blog of appreciation, offering moments to stop and take stock of all the loving choices we make, and how these choices provide the next movement towards living all of us.

  68. ‘… a drama or three every day just to keep you…’ away from who you actually are. When it is the dramas and stories of life that make us who we are we don´t get to feel much of ourselves, of who we are within without the world entering. Hence knowing the difference and keeping the inner as untouched as possible by the outer means to have the space to be and live who we are with full commitment to being in and with the world.

  69. The amazingness of how you can feel in the Before and After listening to presentations of the Ageless Wisdom by Serge Benhayon and joyfully committing to the truth of who you are is magic.

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