Loving Daily Choices and Healing Hurts

Recently, I had a moment where I realised that I have not truly stopped to feel the enormity of life, my life and myself.

I have not stopped to feel how far I have come with my personal growth and how I now feel my life is nothing short of absolutely amazing. Everything that I am and all that I have is a blessing. My life being a blessing is a reflection of the daily choices that I have made. I have made loving choices that are supportive of me and everyone and everything around me.

Looking back on my past I could see and feel how much I lived in disregard, with no consideration for how my choices were affecting me, my body, my life or those who came into contact with me.

I was not aware nor was I at all present with how my daily choices were impacting on my body. Yes, I was unwell, but so were a lot of other people; it appeared to be the way of life. You got an ache, an illness here or there, you had a drama or three every day just to keep you on your toes.

I began to question if this was truly how life was meant to be.

After having my first esoteric healing session with Serge Benhayon, I quickly realised that:

  • NO, life certainly was not meant to be this way – that is, with continuous drama and feeling unwell.
  • I was creating the ills in my life, my relationships and in my body.
  • My life was the way it was through my own choices.

I had to take responsibility for the way my life was. It took some time and a level of honesty from me in allowing myself to feel the devastation of what I had created.

I discovered that choosing what I wanted to feel, controlling the hurt so it did not sting too much, was not a supportive way to live life. I had to allow myself to feel the hurt and all that came with that in order to allow a full and true healing to occur.

The hurt only hurt when I tried to avoid it; not letting myself feel everything that was there to be felt was actually more harmful. So I began the long process of letting go, feeling the consequences of my daily choices and all that came with them. At first it was not easy; I resisted, made excuses and even lied to myself about how great I was doing.

Initially I set a marker for myself that was actually way below how truly amazing I naturally am. When I reached the marker I believed I was doing well and moving forward, when in actual fact I was not doing it at all – I was measuring and controlling the pain and disappointment. I had chosen to set my marker lower so that I could choose to remain in and be surrounded by areas of comfort that would not expose my deeper hurts. The hurts that stopped me from shining and being all that I truly am.

How much of me am I willing to…

  • connect to,
  • remain in connection with,
  • commit myself to, and
  • commit my way of living and daily choices to,

… in order for me to be in a way that is of true service for humanity?

I was willing to do the esoteric healing courses, retreats, presentations and attend abundant sessions with Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, but just attending and partaking: then I realised partaking was not enough. I had to be prepared to go deeper, to look at the bigger picture, to be completely willing and wholeheartedly open to doing whatever it took for me to heal my hurts and therefore shine.

Letting go of the non-supportive comforts of life that hold me back has been a test to my level of commitment to humanity. I have found that we often love our non-supportive comfort, in whatever form we can get it. Whether it be eating foods that are heavy or sweet, which dull or stimulate the body, to acting a certain way with friends and family just to feel accepted. Un-supportive comfort can be lots of things, for me; it is using things and being in a certain way that leaves me feeling unchallenged, or does not ask me to be all of myself.

In many forms and vices, no-one is exempt from having non-supportive comfort in their life, big, small, obvious or subtle, and when the comfort is exposed it can be raw, often painful… We tend to protect and justify it with a fight to the end. We want to hold onto this type of comfort in any way we can, even if it is only by a thread.

In the past, I chose to do and eat things that kept me feeling lethargic, heavy, racy and not supportive to my body. The daily choices that I make now involve not overeating or overdoing it when my body is feeling tired, honouring what my body is capable of – for example carrying groceries a few bags at a time instead of pushing myself to carry them all at once – and being myself around others without fear of not being liked or accepted. I am no longer attached to or have an expectation of how I think my life should look; instead I am being open to what is needed, what is loving and supportive.

So For Me… it is time to let go of the comforts I have chosen to support me in coasting through life, unchallenged and unexposed, and that have kept me less than who I truly am. Time for me to stand up, claimed in the love and light that I am and to shine for all the world to see.

I have chosen to start being honest about why I needed to eat particular foods: was I feeling tired and that is why I reached for something sweet or stimulating… or was I feeling down so chose to go shopping to make myself feel better? Being honest about what I was feeling I could begin to heal any hurts that I had buried by using life and all that life had to offer as a distraction from myself.

The level of appreciation I felt a few days ago left me pondering:

  • Why do I not do this every day, every second of my life?
  • On how easy it is, and
  • That it is there for me to see and feel whenever I so choose.

I can see that my life is now amazing and I fully appreciate how supportive my daily choices are. All that I now am is a testimony of the livingness that I have chosen to commit to, with the support and inspiration of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.

By Nicole Serafin, Age 42 years, Tintenbar, NSW

686 thoughts on “Loving Daily Choices and Healing Hurts

  1. It’s quite a pull up even though it’s written as an honest expression of your own experiences. There is so much on offer here, including those little crossroads we face multiple times every day, to be honest and stay with how we feel, or reach for unsupportive comforts like food and continue repeating the daily cycle with the same hurts lodged in our bodies. “I had to allow myself to feel the hurt and all that came with that in order to allow a full and true healing to occur….. The hurt only hurt when I tried to avoid it; not letting myself feel everything that was there to be felt was actually more harmful.”

  2. Whether or not we have appreciated what we have and how far we have come, life and everything that happens is to evolve us. We can either resist the learning on offer, placing huge pressure on our bodies as a result, or surrender to it, learn and grow- and learn to feel at ease with learning along the way.

    1. It’s the surrender that’s key isn’t it Bryony, and trusting whatever process we are in is there to evolve us.

  3. I have found that healing the root causes of our hurts, sets us free to enjoy and embrace the newness of every moment that presents itself to us as we go about our daily life.

  4. You speak also for me when you say “I can see that my life is now amazing and I fully appreciate how supportive my daily choices are.”
    Simple how divinity is always there to make choices that help evolve us.

  5. We are very poor at acknowledging the changes we make in our lives, as we grow up we tend to focus on all of the negative sides and the things that we’re not so good at. But as we grow from children to teenagers to adults and then into our elderly years, our life is full of lessons and beautiful moments. Moments which perhaps we don’t see because we are so wrapped up in the negativity and out of control thoughts.

  6. ” Being honest about what I was feeling I could begin to heal any hurts that I had buried by using life and all that life had to offer as a distraction from myself.” When we start to observe and get honest with ourselves its amazing the amount of healing that can offer – a way back to love and truth.

  7. “I was creating the ills in my life, my relationships and in my body.
    My life was the way it was through my own choices.”
    Once we can truly accept that we are responsible for not only the choices we make but the end result that we live with, then we will begin to make the necessary changes, many of which take us out of our comfort zone, a comfort we have created to not feel the responsibility we have to live our lives in a glorious way. I know for myself the more I build a true foundation, a foundation that confirms who I am, then I can begin to appreciate myself fully, not in a ra ra type of way, but a deep contentment that says this is me and this is what I bring to the world.

    1. Very true Alison. Taking responsibility for all the choices we make on a daily basis can make a huge difference to life – as we begin to live a more purpose-full life. And appreciation is key – without comparison with those who have walked a few steps ahead of us.

  8. We seek comfort to cushion ourselves from the blows of the world not realising that the very comfort we seek to escape from it all is the very structure that imprisons us to such a degree we do not even know the fortress we have chosen.

  9. Really great to read this at this time for me. I’ve come to learn that so much in life has been set up to distract from how amazing we already are on the inside. And the fact that I am no longer wanting to keep myself distracted (not perfect) is worth celebrating.

  10. Today my day was full with deepening connections with people. And to appreciate the deepening and surrendering more to myself which is directly reflected back on the connections I made.

  11. “The hurt only hurt when I tried to avoid it; not letting myself feel everything that was there to be felt was actually more harmful.” This is a very beautiful and helpful reminder to not avoid what one truly feels in every moment.

  12. Our life is the way it is due to our choices and coming to accept this is a huge step in taking responsibility for ourselves which supports us to make new and more supportive choices

  13. Sometimes we have to wait for our comfort to start to feel really uncomfortable before we can begin to make any true change.

    1. Only when we feel that tension is when we change. Also this is why we can’t make people change because they have to feel their behaviour for themselves for true lasting change without a mask of substitutes.

  14. Having the realisation that we are responsible for our ills is a hard pill to swallow but well worth taking under consideration, especially when we have been blaming others for aeons.

  15. Coming to understand how so many of the comforts in our lives are what is holding us back from living the amazing life we are here to live, can be rather confronting. People love their comforts, so much so that they will defend their right to hold on to them, sometimes in spite of an inner knowing that it’s time for them to go. The challenge is, is that they have become accepted as a normal in our lives, and what would life be, what would we be, without them?

    1. Thanks Ingrid for your comment, it’s amazing how I can read similar things but a certain person’s angle of expression allows me to really understand something. Your words helped me realise that comforts simply hold us back from living how amazing we are. When we are clutching onto the comforts they can feel like a life jacket preventing us from sinking but they are actually more like a straightjacket keeping us from moving and holding us in stagnation!

      1. I love how you have equated the holding onto our comforts to a ‘straight-jacket’, as they definitely feel like a form of imprisonment, a self-imposed imprisonment that often we seem to be unwilling to break free of. So, we keep on ‘clutching’ on to that which actually holds us back from living the wonderful life that we were born to live. Crazy, when you think of it!

  16. I’ve noticed there are moments that I can really turn up my amazing levels – I was just pondering this morning that if it’s possible in these moments then it must actually always be possible. Could our amazing moments be our potentially next normal moments?

  17. There is no limit to how amazing we are – a constant expansion is available and so much to appreciate. This applies to everyone equally from whatever point we start.

  18. Appreciating how we come to realization is a beautiful insight to have, which your writing has shown so clearly for me to see and reflect on.

  19. What a read, thank you Nicole, I can understand so much more about what you are sharing here now, and particularly felt how supportive this line was “Un-supportive comfort can be lots of things, for me; it is using things and being in a certain way that leaves me feeling unchallenged, or does not ask me to be all of myself.” Lots to ponder on, thank you.

  20. This is my take away to be honest with myself and ask these same questions Nicole, thanks for writing them down.

    How much of me am I willing to…
    •connect to,
    •remain in connection with,
    •commit myself to, and
    •commit my way of living and daily choices to,
    … in order for me to be in a way that is of true service for humanity?
    It feels to me that to do this I need to deepen the love I hold myself in, then the rest is easy.
    This is a completely different perspective to the lie we have all fallen for which is to put others needs and wants before ourselves, it’s a lie because by putting others needs and wants before ourselves keeps us from developing any sort of self love for ourselves and if we cannot love ourselves in truth we cannot love another. I wonder if this is the reason we live in such a loveless society.

    1. Mary thank you for your comment, you make a great point about how the ideal of putting others and what has to be done before ourselves as a major contributing factor to our loveless way of life. I saw this play out in my own life and the positive changes people went through around me when I began living love for myself, this was because the energy of love was finally present. The state of being is what’s powerful, not the doing we all seem indoctrinated into, especially selfless doing for others to feel good or because it’s seen as good.

  21. We can’t get anywhere with healing and dealing with what we’re holding onto, what we’ve allowed ourselves to be hurt by, unless we’re prepared to be honest. Courses, healing sessions etc, can be a great support, but only we can heal ourselves: it takes work: dedication and commitment to being constantly honest and to start to build a relationship with our body where we want to hear what it has to say, and to deal with it, instead of numbing or shutting it down.

  22. Such a transformative moment when we start to honour our bodies and choose this level of self-love over anything else. carrying multiple bags of groceries is a common one and I totally relate – saving time but at the expense of pain. It’s a very different experience when we finally choose to bring in more love, and then the overdoing it just fades away because we get rid of anything that lessens the level of love we can now connect too.

  23. This is a brilliant blog so glad I found it to read, I feel that many of us have an expectation of how life should be and I feel that as we grow older and life doesn’t match those expectations we have placed on it we withdraw from it as a way of dealing with our disappointment. I don’t feel we are taught how to live in a more open way and to embrace what it brings to us to learn from. I know many people that want to have their life mapped out so they know where they are going and what they will be doing. Too me there seems no fun in this.

    1. I can relate to that getting older and feeling disappointed but that is when I am majorly choosing to check out into ideal and belief land instead of appreciation and love universe!

  24. “Being honest about what I was feeling I could begin to heal any hurts that I had buried by using life and all that life had to offer as a distraction from myself.” A good point Nicole. Yet I know once I’m on a mission to eat a certain food I make the choice and don’t want to stop and feel what it is I am truly feeling, beyond the craving. Accepting where I am at and appreciating how far I have come is something I intend to do more of.

  25. ‘I had to allow myself to feel the hurt and all that came with that in order to allow a full and true healing to occur.’ Not shying away from what there is to feel is very poignant. Thank you.

    1. Yes and that includes allowing ourselves to feel the amazingness because some are much more comfortable with the hurts.

      1. Great point Nicola. Being stuck in old habits of contraction has a familiar comfortable – despite feeling very uncomfortable – ring about it.

      2. Yeah a lot of us are more at home with the hurts yet it is absolute stiflingly and constricting compared to what life is and how it can be when we feel how precious the divinity within is.

  26. A lack of appreciation leads to a ‘coasting along’ mentality that will eventually become the crushing force that caps us from going any further in our evolution.

  27. I find it super important to keep challenging myself, otherwise I find it very easy to slip into just functioning in life and doing the bare minimum – not truly getting the most out of what’s on offer – but when I’m challenging myself it’s like I’m rediscovering what is possible and how limitless we really are.

  28. Learning to revisit my relationship with responsibility – it is not an onerous or limiting burden but rather a joy and ever deepening understanding and appreciation of who we are and what we can bring to life.

  29. It is a trick that our comforts are truly supportive, rather they hide and delay our choice and responsibility to live who we truly are.

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