The True Support of Hospital Care coming from Self Care

Recently I received an email regarding a self care event taking place locally to where I live. On reading through the flyer I realised how this is such an important area of our lives that for myself did not truly figure in my life until recently. Yes it did in a functional way as in I bathed, clothed and nourished myself daily but more because this is what I’m expected to do, to get me through the day. It wasn’t coming from self-responsibility or with a sense of worth, true support or care for myself.

This self care event helped me reflect on how the choice to provide true support, and really care for myself in a way I haven’t previously, was part of why I had an amazing stay in hospital recently. I was in hospital for major surgery and every moment of my stay was met with care from everyone involved and flowed smoothly with ease. There is no person or part of it I would change.

On the day I was leaving hospital I met another lady on the same ward as me. I was expressing how amazing the staff had been and the high level of care I had received. However, her experience had not been the same. She spoke briefly of certain nurses and the events. I came away considering how could this be when we were in the same ward, with the same length of stay so therefore with the same team of medical staff. The only variable is the recipient of the health care was me and her.

When I look at this now, I can see that yes I had a huge part to play in the high level of hospital care I received because that is what my body and I were putting out to receive.

Could it be that how I cared for myself before going into hospital meant this way of being continued once I was there? Could it be I have a part to play in the quality of care I will receive from another?

I have had numerous visits to the hospital over the past 5 years and the hospital care and understanding has been amazing as well as learning much about how the National Health Service system works. I have learnt I have as much responsibility for my health and well being as the care they offer, therefore I have chosen to take an active role in the process by constantly asking questions. I have found this approach means I feel listened to and any concerns I have had are met with understanding. The doctors and nurses from my experience treat me with respect and I feel empowered. All along I have felt it is important to know what is happening at each point and to give myself time to make these important decisions. However this stay was even greater in care and until now, I haven’t considered how this could be?

In the past I have put plans into place but approached it from a need to ‘just get me through’ what was happening. This time though, I chose to feel in my body how I could truly support myself. These plans were coming from ‘a care for myself and not wanting it to be any other way’. This meant that all the details had to be looked at and this felt natural and effortless.

How did this approach to my own self care look?

  • I made sure I was clear about the medical procedure I was having. So I talked to the surgeon to understand what was happening during and after in terms of how my body would be and the recovery time required. This took two extra re-visits to feel completely satisfied and each time was met with understanding and care from my consultant and nurses.
  • A couple of weeks before, making practical arrangements for myself and 2 children. This involved accommodation for them during and after my 5 day stay in hospital and a support system in place for myself post-surgery involving a small team of people so no one felt overwhelmed.
  • Letting go of needing to attend to and control every detail regarding the children, as they are old enough to express their needs to those caring for them and trusting others to take care of them.
  • Preparing some meals for the freezer and arranging my house, as I would like it for when I returned home knowing I am likely to feel more sensitive and fragile during my recovery period.
  • Honoring and accepting what my body is going through physically and to keep expressing and honoring how this feels.
  • Stopping work a few days before so I could focus on my needs and ensure I felt rested before the surgery.
  • Checking I had covered everything I would need to support me whilst waiting before surgery and during my stay in hospital, e.g. soft pillows, blanket (quite often in short supply in hospital), food to take, as well as someone delivering fresh food daily, favorite clothing etc.
  • Having someone unpack and create a space for me on returning to the ward. This felt wonderful!
  • In hospital staying aware of the staff I was interacting with, and though I was only with them a short time, getting to know them and forming a relationship.
  • Taking the necessary medication as a support for my body through the process, having checked the ingredients first to honour my gluten and dairy free diet.
  •  Asking and being open to help as well as allowing myself to be supported and looked after by others by not hiding my feelings of vulnerability and fragility.

Now having had time at home and to continue looking after myself and be looked after with the same quality, my recovery has been simple, with no complications. I have been able to consider that maybe the self care and true support I show towards myself is not only necessary because I was going into hospital but is actually how I am to live with myself everyday in order to take responsibility for my health and wellbeing and for true changes to occur.

I can see that in taking time and care with my part in the procedure i.e. setting up a support system etc. that my body could easily play its part by being open to the surgery and the healing that followed.

Over the last few years I have attended workshops presented by Universal Medicine and have heard the phrase to look after myself with the same tenderness as if I were a baby. I hadn’t fully felt or embraced what this meant but I am now learning each day to appreciate and understand these steps I make to self care and make choices to ensure I am looking after myself in the same quality I would care for a baby. Through the workshops I have been able to see and shake off those parts of me I have taken on to just to get through life. One of those ways was ‘head down and just get on with whatever was happening regardless of the struggle’ and obviously to sustain this existence it has meant losing the connection I had with myself as a child to know what truly honours and supports me in life. Simply put, now I am learning to live as the precious, beautiful woman I am and am willing to build a relationship with myself.

All I have shared is possible as a result of re-connecting and choosing to continually redevelop and deepen the care and love for myself I deserve as a woman. I am learning this is valuable as a support in daily life and I am worthy of that self care. However equally friends, family, Universal Medicine practitioners and hospital staff were involved who cared for myself and two children and helped towards making the ease of the above possible.

For this commitment and willingness to be there alongside me I express my huge thanks and appreciation.

By Julie Snelgrove, Merchandiser, Somerset, England

235 thoughts on “The True Support of Hospital Care coming from Self Care

  1. On re-reading the blog, I was reminded of this functional way I used to care for myself. It was perfunctory, ticked the box but no love there. I’ve found that all it takes is say a few extra moments in the shower to just stand and feel the water, or a minute longer in the kitchen to appreciate the flow. Outwardly hardly anything changes, inwardly a whole world opens up to me.

  2. The medical system can go so far, but it is fundamentally about our own commitment to take responsibility in caring for self that makes difference, and so many of us do not even know where to begin with it. Julie, your list is very inspiring and really shows how self-care is not a one-stop solution, but is a way of living that sets the foundation for even deeper nurturing to be available when needed.

  3. Julie, I love the care and preparation you have taken to support yourself while you were in hospital and recovering. I can feel how this has not only supported you but has supported the carers of your children and the hospital staff. With this kind of self care everyone would have felt supported and therefore were free to give the quality care you received. It just shows how self care emanates out and becomes care for all.

      1. What I have noticed is that the doctors and nurses feel supported because their efforts are going towards someone who is appreciating the care so much that the patient is caring deeply for themselves. It is the most lovely knock on effect.

    1. The self -care that was shared in this blog is no different to the quality we can bring to our everyday lives. Making meals ahead of time in order to not rush at the end of the day, taking the time to get dressed and not race out the door in the morning. There are so many big and small ways that all add to the foundation we can then start to set up that brings the quality of who we are. Definitely a great blog to appreciate.

  4. Its something we seem unwilling to admit, but all our experience points towards the energetic fact that our choices impact each and every events and person in life. There is not a thing that is outside of this magnificent magnetic scheme. So not only is the beautiful self-caring way you describe so supportive for you and health – but it actually supports all of us everywhere to choose self-care.

  5. I have recently had a few experiences of being in hospital too, and prepared myself well beforehand for each occasion, and taking responsibility for how I cared for myself was a key part to the whole procedure. I found the hospital staff amazingly caring and supportive. Self-care and lovingly looking after ourselves plays a huge part in our everyday Livingness, and as a result it is reflected back to us.

  6. It’s very inspiring to read the detail of your preparations for your hospital stay and for when you arrived back home. I feel your willingness to connect to the staff and build relationships would have made a big difference in the level of care and attention you received. Sometimes people can take for granted those whose job it is to care for others.

  7. Julie the way you prepared for your hospital stay and recovery is truly inspiring, the level of detail and care is beautiful to read and a great support for others who may need to go to hospital as well.

    1. “We are all worthy of this care if only we choose.” This a good point to raise Kathryn as feeling worthy to give ourself and receive care is what needs to be realised as it is easy to slip into thinking when one can receive support from another Oh ‘I’ll just do it myself’ which is an old pattern of mine and probably many women!

      1. Oh so true Julie… the old ‘I will do it myself’ is our default and yet to know that support is something that we all deserve can sometimes feel uncomfortable. Time to shake that one off. Support is a two way street and both parties benefit.

    2. I agree kathrynfortuna. There is so much care and precise detail that was taken on board prior to the hospital visit that shows the level of self worth and appreciation that Julie had for the recovery process.

  8. Amazing, thanks for sharing. It isn’t until now I realised the powerful impact that a nurse or health worker can actually have on someone when they are doing their job. I am a student Nurse and have done some training in a hospital, but now that I can see and consider how sensitive every experience is for a patient it has been amazing. Its really great to appreciate just how much a truly loving and caring approach can means to someone, and to claim this, and know it as I do my job would be amazing as Nurses often don’t value what they are bringing and it can become a very exhausting profession.

  9. A beautiful sharing Julie that highlights how we can not only care for ourselves in a functional way but there is also a deeper nurturing that brings a whole new level of commitment to our daily lives that nourishes us all and supports our ability to heal.

  10. Ps I am pretty sure that our hospital wards and general health statistics would be very different if everyone were as responsible as you and contributed to their own wellbeing and healing process by committing to caring for themselves to enhance the care prescribed and delivered by conventional medicine.

  11. Your deep dedication to yourself can be felt by me as I was reading. What you are presenting here is a wonderful example of the Way of the Livingness in practical application. I especially noted your comment that the lovely level of care you received was as a result of what you prepared for and allowed yourself and your body to receive. Thank you, this is a timely reminder to me that life doesn’t just happen. I am in charge of my choices all the way along and what comes back to me will be a direct reflection of the quality of those choices.

    1. A great point Kevin – we can’t expect from others that which we are not prepared to give ourselves.

  12. I’ve only had to stay in hospital once in my adult life and the care and skill of the surgeon was superb and he made a good job of pinning my collar bone back together,but the after care was shocking, I won’t go into details. After reading this blog I Looked at how focused was on the operation without giving any thought to my aftercare. I even told the surgeon how gentle he had to be with me but then left the aftercare in another’s incapable hands.

  13. A inspiring example Julie, in how we can deeply honour and truly care for ourselves by the quality in which we take responsibility in how we live and how that same quality comes back to support us when we allow the space to truly nurture ourselves. Thank you for sharing your hospital experience.

  14. What a great example and sharing Julie. To have developed that deep self nurturing relationship with yourself and maintained that throughout and since your Hospital visit is wonderful! I can understand why your visit went so smoothly.

  15. It is beautiful to take the time to really consider what you will need and what will be the most nurturing way of caring for yourself when you are at your most vulnerable. We can look at our everyday lives and consider bringing the same level of care to those days too so that we can live as the precious people we are.

  16. This is fascinating. Not only is the quality of care we receive strongly predicated on the level and commitment to self-care lived by the giver or provider of care, but also on the level of self-care already lived and brought to the healing process by the receiver. Both have a responsibility for the ultimate outcome, the ultimate level of care received by the patient themselves and therefore the potential for healing that can be offered to the body. It’s an entirely logical equation, yet one that really focuses attention on a shared collective responsibility for the quality in which we each live our lives.

  17. Thank you for sharing how your deep level of self care was reflected back to you in the level of care you received from all the hospital staff. I would imagine that it was a delight for them to care for someone who had taken such good care of themselves in the run-up to the operation which will have made a big difference to how effective it was and the length and effectiveness of your recovery. Having a patient that takes such an active part in the process must make a refreshing change when so many feel a victim of their circumstances and fail to follow medical advice about how they could support themselves during any process.

  18. I found it fascinating Julie the contrast of experiences with health care between yourself and the other patient. The quality of how we choose to live has a momentum. The saying “reap what you sow” comes to mind.

  19. It is very interesting how two people can be in the same ward in a hospital and have two completely different experiences. It just goes to show that how we are within ourselves affects those around us.

  20. I do not doubt our hospitals do our best, but they are overwhelmed by a public that for the most part refuse to take responsibility for their own health. That creates quite the burden. it is no wonder our hospitals are overwhelmed. Everyone cries out that our doctors need to be responsible and accountable, that the system needs to be perfect? Where is our own accountability?

    1. It is the wanton way of the wayward one (the human spirit) to take the reins and run the physical vehicle it resides in (our human form) into the ground. We, in this state, then have the arrogance to expect another to fix the mess we have created. If it can’t be fixed, we simply wait for the next life and if no alternate choice has been made to take responsibility to live otherwise, we simply allow our spirit to take that next vehicle for a joyride also. At any stage, any one of us can arrest the chaos of all we have created and hand the reins over to our Soul. This great body of light knows and breathes the harmony and truth of our divine origins and as such will lovingly steer our physical form to move in and with the love that we are, rather than create movements that seek to oppose it.

      Our hospitals have become dumping grounds for bodies that cannot sustain any more abuse…but equally they can become places of true resurrection once the choice to renounce such recklessness is made.

  21. I love how you were so accountable and took charge of your self in this process, Julie. Too often we blame the systems which are often less than perfect but equally we have a part to play. The difference is clear with the two different hospital experiences that you described.

  22. Julie I love your very practical approach to your self-care. I can feel the way you considered what you needed and put it into action for yourself. There is real preparation and support here for not only yourself but for your children and anyone caring for your children. There is great support for the staff their too, by presenting someone who to the best of their ability was being open and honest with themselves. Who said that self-care was selfish?

  23. Whilstever we simply expect the hospital system to “fix us”, we will invariably be likely to want to blame them when things don’t go as we would like. It is a much more respectful philosophy to look at your own part in things equally so, and in doing so that creates the space for a deeper appreciation of what doctors and the medical profession can truly bring us.

    1. Yes Adam, and what stands out to me in what Julie offers us here is just how we attract and call in all that occurs in our life. Such is our power with a magnetic effect, so where are we and in what reality when we say ‘oh this incident just happened to me accidentally’?

  24. The difference between your experience and that of the other lady is an incredible reflection in itself. It’s so true that the level of love and care we give to ourselves is what we reflect out to others and therefore this is what comes back to us. We’re all walking around as large, human-shaped mirrors 🙂

  25. It’s gorgeous to feel the level of care and preparation you gave yourself Julie, to then have that reflected back to you.

  26. You show us all Julie that self-care doesn’t live just in the ‘nurturing’ thing we tick off a list, but is a quality that naturally flows into every moment. So I can care about my hands as they touch and type this message, and care about everyone who gets to read each letter and each word. And so it goes in the day there is so much room for care, in our way. And most of all to start to let ourselves feel the true care that is actually already there around us in this world, instead of sitting here shut down saying what a mean and heartless place we have found. In this all it comes down to our choice to care and open up our heart to life and all of what comes.

  27. I have found that the way people feel about their hospital care is a direct reflection of how they are in and with their care. The ‘them’ they bring determines to a large degree the care that they perceive that they receive. The people that complain about their care all have the same feeling of deep internal misery going on inside them, they appear unable to see any good in anything, and are not interested in looking at their role in it all, not interested in taking any responsibility for where they are at, preferring instead to look for someone, anyone to blame.

  28. It’s easy to get stuck in a certain way of doing things, a familiar way of caring for ourselves but if we’re open there is often more and new ways of doing things to greater support our vitality and the quality we then go about our day and all our interactions with.

  29. Julie – I absolutely agree that we have a big part to play in our healing and how other people respond to us. We have a responsibility not to give our power away and make ourselves someone else’s problem, but rather to look at how are we living, how are we communicating. Then as you have personally experienced, everything changes.

  30. We are responsible for our self care and when others feel this they are able to support us with this. Conversely when we give the responsibility of our self care to others instead of being responsible ourselves we are clothed in expectation of what others should do and it does not support us in any way. Thank you for sharing, Julie.

  31. Self care supports us and and true self care can’t help but flow over to care in everything and with everybody and then we are supporting everyone and everything. It’s just an ever expanding flow.

  32. It’s always quite fascinating how our own attitudes flavor our experiences. That your fellow patient had a completely different hospital experience while in the same ward as you Julie is a great example of this.

  33. The energetic quality we hold ourselves in is clearly felt by everyone around us and therefore is the reflection we receive. So this lady had a choice from her “negative” experience to either blame others or take the opportunity to instead appreciate them for the reflection they were providing to her showing her she needed to care for herself more deeply.

  34. Julie, what I so loved to feel in reading your article tonight is how supported the hospital staff must have felt in nursing and caring for a person who is living life responsible for themselves; so therefore in supporting self, as you did, you are in full support of them. They would have felt your acceptance of your part to play in your body’s health, and that in this instance no one was demanding a quick fix from them. Extraordinarily awesome gift to all of your medical staff.

  35. Julie your blog about deepening your level of self care and supporting yourself while in hospital is very inspiring to read. My body has been communicating to me to have more attention to detail and that is still something I am working on but as you have described it;’This meant that all the details had to be looked at and this felt natural and effortless.’ I feel it is simple and easy the moment I take more responsibility for my own body.

  36. “I have learnt I have as much responsibility for my health and well being as the care they offer.” Caring for someone who is taking responsibility for their part in the process is a shared enjoyment whereas caring for a patient who expects others to do it all and is judgemental of the efforts of others is inevitably not going to have the same experience and connection between patient and carer.

  37. There is only so much the medical system can do when it comes to our health care. It is our responsibility in caring for ourselves that is key here as you so beautifully present in this blog Julie. The solid, loving and nurturing foundation of your livingness supported the preparation you put into preparing for your operation. This is so inspiring, imagine if we all took the same level of responsibility for our choices.

  38. Wow this is pure revelation, thanks for sharing. The way we are when we take ourselves for any treatment – whether it is a haircut, hospital stay, surgery, dentist appointment etc has an effect on the care we receive. I had an experience recently as well where I have been working in a hospital and was conscious of the energy I brought to every patient I worked with, the next day these patients rooms had a completely different quality than the ones I didn’t work in.

  39. The questions you pose here Julie are powerful indeed and reminds me of the saying you reap what you sow;
    “Could it be that how I cared for myself before going into hospital meant this way of being continued once I was there? Could it be I have a part to play in the quality of care I will receive from another?”
    Thank you for sharing your experiences and your wisdom.

  40. A great question Julie, “could it be I have a part to play in the quality of care I will receive from another?” Taking an active role in our health and well-being and in the way we take true care of ourselves rather than from a need is very empowering and in being fully aware of all circumstances we can make informed decisions about our health knowing we played our part which supports the medical staff and ourselves through the healing process.

  41. There is so much love in finer detail and Julie, you have gone deeply into the detail of the responsibility you can choose in self care. This has been beautiful to read and I can feel that by taking responsibility you are initiating healing that will support all that others also bring to you. We are definitely part of the equation of true healing and the facilitator of the healing response from others.

  42. It is so beautiful to read the level of self care you have brought into your life with all the support that was necessary, what a difference this made to you hospital stay and recovery. I love the words “Simply put, now I am learning to live as the precious, beautiful woman I am and am willing to build a relationship with myself.”

  43. “Could it be that how I cared for myself before going into hospital meant this way of being continued once I was there? Could it be I have a part to play in the quality of care I will receive from another?” This is so valuable Julie. We are not taught about energy and that how we are affects everything – and everyone around us. I too had an amazing hospital experience last year. All patients – and everyone! – should read this.

  44. Wow Julie – what an amazing amount of care you put into your hospital visit, hospital visits are normally something people dread and feeling incredibly stressed and disempowered about – everything you put into place would make a great booklet for people just going into hospital, so people can see that it can be an experience you take the utmost care over, and that you can be empowered about your visit.

  45. The enormity of the pressure that is placed on the health systems both energetically and physically is huge when we are also not taking responsibility for our own level of care and love. This is something the hospital or anyone for that matter cannot do for us. We still must take responsibility for our own self love and care for it directly relates to our overall vitality, experience of life and indeed the level of health our body will have physically and most of all energetically.

    1. This is so true Joshua. I feel this is why our health care system are not coping with our current rates of illness and disease, I have seen many people not willing to take responsibility for their own health, their lifestyle choices and are often quick to blame the system or others. Yet, we are the ones who are responsible for our own health and care, embracing this supports us and others in more ways than we think.

  46. As someone who works in a hospital it is fantastic to work with a patient who knows how to best support themselves before and after a procedure or during a hospital stay. The more we care for ourselves the more it supports the recovery period.

  47. Your blog shows me that how you are with yourself reflects how your relationship are with others. Also your level of care for yourself and openness with people supported you to experience more love and care at the hospital with the doctors and nurses. So, really what we experience in life is a reflection of how we are with ourselves, this highlights to me how much we are responsible for every part of our lives.

  48. How amazing that you you have deepened your living understanding of what the phrase, “take care of yourself” truly means. When you think about it, we all say this phrase to each other but lot of the time it is just words, with no follow up or action. The level of care you took with yourself through that hospital experience was very touching and what was even more impressive was that you recognized that you can continue and adapt that level of care into your everyday life.

  49. By nature, we are all truly caring beings, we just get caught up with way of living that does not nurture this innate quality. All it takes is one simple choice to love and care for ourselves and the ripple effect of this can be huge. This is because we are designed to be love but unless someone chooses to live it and be that reflection for all, we will carry on entrenched in the love-less momentum we have made our way of living simply because it is the more familiar route. More familiar does not in this instance, mean more ‘normal’. It is normal to express the love that we are, it is abnormal to supress this.

  50. Whenever I need an operation and have to visit a hospital I will re-read your wonderful blog Julie. For me your words are very supportive and your list to approach your own self care is very useful. Thank you so much for not holding back with sharing your insights.

  51. Proving how everything in life is a reflection. The care that you took of everything related to being in hospital was reflected back to you. The care the other lady received will also have been a reflection for her. It also feels like she had not learned to appreciate all the wonderful work others were doing on her behalf and possibly went through life looking for the negatives? Taking the time to stop and appreciate is good medicine.

  52. Julie your deep level of self care is really inspiring and applicable to every facet of life, not just the hospital visit. You took in the whole picture – before, during and after and considered so many details for your own care. How often do we just whiz through life’s experiences without stopping to consider our needs? We could in fact feel so supported in our everyday life by just considering all that is ahead of us, and how to ensure we are supported by ourselves (and others if needed) every step of the way. What a joy life becomes with our own self care.

  53. Hi Julie, reflecting on your blog I could feel a deepening awareness of your physicality and new understanding and valuing of your relationship with your body. I have spent most of my life assuming and expecting my body to meet the demands I have placed on it but after listening to the presentations of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I realise I have not been truly living the life that has been offered to me and that instead of listening and responding to the communications from my body I have further complicated my life by ignoring and dulling the messages my body shared particularly through the symptoms of illness and disease. Thank you for sharing the wisdom of your stay in hospital, preparation before and care after, it has been deeply appreciated.

  54. Sadly many in the hospital system do not often see people who are prepared to take responsibility for their health and well-being. Your blog demonstrates just how we shape our experience of the world. You look after yourself and the world looks after you in the very same way. If we are needy we are setting ourselves up for disappoint and rejection, as ‘needy’ holds an expectation of another and is a rejection of who they truly are. it is so interesting

  55. Everything in life is a reflection as we are constantly reflecting ourselves. In light—nothing can be hidden. When we are willing to ask for help and equally willing to receive—knowing we are worth it and brotherhood is the natural way, it is common to receive help and openness reflected back. When we choose to be all of us in the world, every system cannot but feel a need to step up.

    1. I agree Adele and part of this is knowing it is OK to be fragile. When we surrender to that, we are strong and allow support in, we stop playing the superhuman ‘I can do/I need to do it all only own’ approach.

  56. (2) Julie the no stone unturned, self care plan you drew up for yourself before your hospital admission is deeply honouring of you and very inspiring to read. It would be a great benefit to other patients, if the pre admission booklets sent out by many hospitals were to include a copy of your self care plan.

  57. You can feel the deep love and care in everything you set up for yourself before during and after your hospital visit to hold you through the healing process. It was truly stunning to read and would have been a blessing for all who experienced any part of it and saw the level of love we can support ourselves with no matter what we are doing.

  58. It’s true how we can be functionally taking care of ourselves but what if like you say there is a greater depth we can go to in the way that we do things and be open to doing things differently as well. In the end how we care for ourselves stems from the quality of relationship that we have with ourself and this in my experience is something that can continually unfold.

  59. Thank you for sharing your experience in hospital Julie, a great example of how taking responsibility for ourselves and having an active participation in our health and well-being especially when we are unwell is hugely empowering and supportive for us as well as for the medical staff so there is a shared approach and understanding of the healing process from both the patient and doctor.

  60. We grow up learning 1 and 1 = 2 and sure just like the sensible everyday dos and donts of self care, on a surface level that is true. But when we understand the way energy works, we start to appreciate and to see that one of you plus the choices you choose equals the world we make. So everything you do and say is registered and supports or hurts everyone else. This gives a whole new understanding to self-care as you say Julie.

    1. Love your expression here Joseph, “But when we understand the way energy works, we start to appreciate and to see that one of you plus the choices you choose equals the world we make.” This is an inspiring call that empowers us to appreciate that the quality we choose in every moment has an effect on every-thing. Every movement is a communication.

  61. Julie, the detail and love you bought to yourself is completely self honouring and a blessing to feel and was confirmed and reflected in the treatment you received. This level of self care and responsibility is empowering and also supports everyone on the team. The ripple effect is immense.

  62. What you share is a massive missing link in true care when we are sick. So often when one is sick they drop all levels of care and responsibility for themselves. This is a true way to heal on many levels, you can feel the love you had for yourself, and to me this is the highest form of medicine and care one needs on the road to recovery.

  63. As intelligent as we have become as a society, the true value of self care still eludes us. There is in truth a level of vitality that is not lived by many, and its foundations start with a life based on self love, or self care. That on its own is not enough to ignite one’s true potential, however, but it is a start, and in itself offers a clarity to our being that is beyond what most people experience. At first, this may seem self indulgent, and if not truly understood and not constantly refined, it can be. After all, self love is only a mental application, the application of which gives one the platform to embody true love as a lived experience.

    At that point, when one stands at the door to ones’ own Soul, a door which can only be reached by the very human and physical act of self love, one ultimately realises that there can actually be no self in love. Neither is it selfless. It is simply connection to all, to which the self is an intrinsic part, no more or less imporant than the whole. This understanding assists us to see through the absolute lie of martyrdom and selflessness that we have been sold as being one the highest attainable virtues that we can aspire to, not realising that in truth it is actually destructive to do so.

    For to subscribe to such an ideal leads one to invariably live a life of compromise, where self abuse is tolerated as mere collateral damage and the price for living a life devoted to others. And so self love, which when understood and lived properly, not as an indulgence, but as a developmental bridge that leads to true understanding of what love actually entails, is conveniently ignored by those who aspire to love as an empty ideal, as something that can be sent and given to another, but not actually lived within oneself.

  64. Very beautiful Julie – thank you for sharing your experience here. I love the reflection of the detailed way you approached your time in hospital. Awareness of detail is something I am learning a lot about at present. There is no moment in our lives where self-care and in fact self-love is not appropriate or applicable and this blog shows this. What a lovely way to be with ourselves – as a loving parent would be with their tender child.

  65. What if the care that I have for myself is governing the level of care I have coming towards me? Isn’t that a revelation in itself. Thanks for sharing and inspiring me Julie.

  66. The process of preparation that Julie did before her surgery feels so simple, real and as a matter of course. Yet for many it is not this way the business of everyday life leaves us with little time or energy to address such simple needs. So do we throw our hands in the air and give in to this pace, or do we look at how we are living and begin to eliminate things in our days that are wasting our time and energy. So we can do the simple real things that are needed to support our bodies and subsequently all others in our life.

  67. True, two people can be in pretty much the same situation at the same time but experience it vey differently, depending on their choices; you were met with a reflection of the level of self-care and preparation you had afforded yourself and the other person got a reflection of whatever it was that they had been projecting.

  68. As you say, the only variable in your comparison was the patients! This is becoming a key ingredient in health, how the patient approaches their own care, how they support themselves, how they engage with the support available to them and ask for support where it is not. I would love someone to look after me the way you looked after yourself but you have shown how simple it is to bring that to ourselves and I will approach today with a yet deeper appreciation that I did yesterday.

  69. From my understanding this is a good example of the universal law that states – that which we express out will return to us at twice the magnitude of that which was initially expressed. That is, by virtue of our expression and the quality of it in the sense – do we express the love and truth of who we truly are, or do we shy away from this – we determine the quality of that which others express back to us. In other words we are having a symbiotic relationship all of the time with both our environment and the people in it. So in this instance, how we care for ourselves is directly proportional (and then some) to how others will then care for us.

  70. There is a beautiful sense of solidity and strength of a foundation lived, in all that you’ve shared here Julie – born from the responsibility, depth of care and honouring of yourself that you have chosen to embrace in your life. I get the sense that even if you had met difficulty in the care offered whilst in hospital (or at any point from others), that from this foundation you would have been able to address this – accepting nought which would not honour you in full.

  71. Today I realised that having a foundation of care means that this foundation is with you always, it’s not something to rely on just in times of need but to live everyday all day because it supports us to be who we are.

    1. Beautiful Karin. It is there as our constant support however this too needs care as if it does not continue to deepen and grow we will find ourselves feeling like we’re going backwards. Self care is a constant evolution in line with the constant of the expansion of the Universe.

  72. Especially for women iT is to realize that we are so much worth to take care deeply About ourselves. That is the start of our healing and the service we Can bring then to others.

  73. Beautiful Julie, this a great blog on the important part we play in our own healing. When we don’t bring our own responsibility to care we push the responsibility onto to others. Leaving room for us to blame, criticize and make judgement on others lack, when in truth it’s our own lack of care that has created what we then live through and experience.

  74. Truly supporting ourselves before we go to hospital is very supportive for our return, even the smallest details of making sure we have family or friends who are able to help us on our return home, from my own experience actually asking and accepting help is a major part of allowing things to naturally unfold and happen, and it is amazing how much support there is there for us.

  75. Great points Julie . What we put in to life we get back – a simplicity that we often don’t practice, and then wonder why life is not reflecting what we know is possible. But we have to take that step first.

  76. ‘I can see that in taking time and care with my part in the procedure… my body could easily play its part by being open to the surgery and the healing that followed’ – It’s great what you’ve shared July about ‘your part’ of the operation, knowing that not only is it the surgeons and doctors job to cure/heal us, but we have an equal part to play in preparing our body for that healing and then relaying foundations for how to live afterwards.

  77. Thank you Julie for a beautifully inspiring description of your self-loving responsible care and how that supports not only you but how that was reflected back to you by those caring for you – what you give out returns to you.

  78. “I can see that yes I had a huge part to play in the high level of hospital care I received because that is what my body and I were putting out to receive.” What a great line, such responsibility, not leaving yourself open to that fact that you need the hospital to fix you!! But you playing an equal part in your recovery.

  79. A great question Julie “could it be I have a part to play in the quality of care I will receive from another?” It makes sense that the more responsibility we take with ourselves and actively participate in looking after and supporting our own health and well-being the more we understand and open up to the healing process.

  80. This has got to be the new way to organise a hospital visit – with the utmost care and and attention to detail and finding every possible way we can take care of ourselves in an alien environment and knowing our body is going through something massive.

  81. I was on a school trip today that involved a lot of walking. I got home feeling really tired. Not so long ago I would have soldiered on when I got home with household tasks, but today I had a short nap. I am finding ways to make my self-care part of everything I do, rather than an add on. I now feel rested and ready to do the dinner and chat with the family.

  82. ‘Could it be I have a part to play in the quality of care I will receive from another?’ This is a great question Julie and I feel its not only applicable when going into hospital, but something to consider in all our relationships. I have often heard it said that ‘we teach people how to treat us.’

  83. We do have a part to play in the quality of care we receive from others, as everything is a reflection of the way we live.

  84. Bringing self-care into our life has a big knock on effect as you describe in this blog, ‘Could it be that how I cared for myself before going into hospital meant this way of being continued once I was there? Could it be I have a part to play in the quality of care I will receive from another?’ A great example.

  85. “Could it be I have a part to play in the quality of care I will receive from another?”
    Isn’t this just the nub of it all? To me the answer is a resounding ‘YES’, and in taking this responsibility for ourselves, to care for ourselves as the precious beings we are, we will not then settle for less and this is deeply felt by another.

  86. Generally, we are met with what we have built on the inside and your example of hospital care shows this clearly.And thus, two people’s experience, at times only removed by one or two beds from each other, can vary vastly.

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