Have you ever stopped – looking in a mirror to enjoy a true reflection – or is it just a glance to make sure your make-up or hair is ok?
I remember one day being asked just that; “do you look at yourself in the mirror, or is it just a glance?” Of course, I thought, I always look in the mirror – or did I?
Sure I would look in the mirror but never was I really looking at me – I was looking at a mere shadow of myself which was then presented to the world.
It was time to start looking past the facade that I had created to protect and hide myself from the world; to allow myself to see the true me. It was an awkward and at times uncomfortable process – making myself stop and look at what was being reflected back to me.
Funny really, as I worked as a hairdresser so I was in front of mirrors all day every day, and yet it was easy to avoid looking at myself, making it all about the client.
There was no admiration or adoration of myself. I would look in a mirror and not liking what I saw, I would instead choose to make every glance about something else. For example, when trying on clothes I never looked at myself but looked at and admired the clothes I was trying on – never once stopping to admire the person that was wearing the clothes. The body and person under the clothes were just that… there was no appreciation or connection to me, just an observation of the reflection of what I saw in the mirror.
So the process unfolded on many levels, keeping it simple to start with and taking time to actually look at myself when I was in front of the mirror. Not unlike what can be observed when a child looks at themselves in the mirror… you can see the way they admire and adore themselves with each and every glance.
Before long I was beginning to see the true essence of me coming through – the facade was beginning to drop away and I was no longer afraid of how I presented to the world.
I began to dress for me, not the world or the mirror; my make-up was applied to my face in a way that supported the natural glow that was now emanating.
As this unfolded I started to enjoy walking past a mirror and slowly began to appreciate the woman I was becoming – or what I should say is that I was now allowing the woman I had always been, out.
I did not stop to consider the amazing beauty I had concealed from myself and the world – I only knew that the hurt I had been protecting myself from was actually coming from me. I was hurt because I had been hiding this awesome reflection and every time I looked in the mirror the sadness was felt. I did not like what I saw – what I was looking at was not me and it hurt. The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.
I have been nurturing, embracing and loving the person I am – without any expectations or comparisons to another.
Over time, with this nurturing I have blossomed and continue to blossom every day with more and more acceptance for myself.
It was this simple question from Serge Benhayon about the way I looked at myself in a mirror – or not – many, many years before, that began my process of self-acceptance; a process that has been nothing short of a true transformation. No plastic surgery, wonder pills or diets, just a commitment to allowing myself to connect to, live and express me.
I now live each day appreciating the woman I am, continuing my expansion of self for all the world to see.
With the hurts falling away and the real me shining through, why would I not want to stop, and looking in a mirror, see a true reflection of glorious me.
Inspired by the work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
By Nicole Serafin, Age 42,Tintenbar, Australia
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
I do look at the mirror but its always a flitting glance and seeing a body standing there and not realising that it’s actually me. It’s no different to being introduced to a person and within a second you’ve forgotten their name! This connection makes a massive difference whether meeting or looking in the mirror. Who are you meeting? If it isn’t you or the other person, then what are you meeting?
When we gaze at that person in the mirror then that to me is saying you are ok with you, ok with the body, clothes or no clothes, curves or no curves and etc and then, you see the real you coming through. Look more often in the mirror and see you…
Looking ourselves with the eyes of love. Returning to the transparency of our gaze. No wanting to be different, no trying, no imposing or judging, just being there with us, in union with the stars, Nature and the whole Universe. How could we possibly feel not complete in this way?
We come to the world being so open, transparent, playful, full of joy…so every time I don’t feel like this I wonder why? what’s going on? and what do I absorbed from outside?
It’s an ongoing process of connecting back to my body, honouring how it feels like, trusting again to live in my fullness and joy. My natural state. Being who we are is deeply touching and inspiring. Appreciating this fact makes me see how key our reflection may be, for everyone who we are in touch with and for ourselves.
In disconnection I can look at the mirror and just see the outside layers – the clothes, the colours etc and its easy to be critical. But in connection I see so much more and I am not critical, but deeply celebrating and appreciating who I am and how I have come together for the day. Of course the latter is far more needed in my life so this is indeed a great reminder of what I need to keep allowing – celebration of myself and allowing myself to feel good about it!
Henrietta so true. When we are in connection, we see way past the clothes, the make up, it is seen skin deep. And it is only a matter of time when we see ourselves past what reflection is being offered to us, then the mirror is seen for its true purpose.
Nicole, thanks for your sharing – I too can relate to the mirror experience as one where either I am disconnected and hence don’t really look and see myself in the reflection OR if am connected to myself then I see the sparkle in the eyes and I see the joy and cheekiness of the being in the body, and the enjoyment of the body. The connection makes all the difference to how I do and will percieve myself.
It’s not my physicality that I like or dislike when I look in the mirror, it’s the fact that the body is showing me the energy I’ve been living in. It’s the energy I have an issue with or love.
Allowing ourselves to be seen, and to express love in the world, ‘As this unfolded I started to enjoy walking past a mirror and slowly began to appreciate the woman I was becoming – or what I should say is that I was now allowing the woman I had always been, out.’
Love it ❤️ Coming from the quality within when we look into a mirror rather than ‘looking out’ at the ‘appearance’ and if this is ‘okay’ as some say the checking-out, checking-out does my bum look big in this (or with the new phase is my bum not big enough 😶) is my tummy to big, does this look okay on me etc etc. I can appreciate that I am starting to do this a lot more – come from the quality within and how I FEEL within rather than what I see. And if we do not feel lovely within then of course that is going to affect how we ‘see’ and feel about ourselves generally. A gorgeous and super simple tool to truly connect within is the Gentle Breath Meditation https://www.unimedliving.com/meditation/free
Mirror ,mirror on the wall takes on a whole deeper meaning as you have shared Nicole, and it is not just from the reflection as what I get from reading this blog is transformational as we can all learn to deepen our relationship with our essences! And in apply a simple principle of appreciating who and being more than a physical vessel so we can move our bodies in a way that supports our evolution, including how we see our-selves and others.
“to allow myself to see the true me.” True beauty is always there but we can be unaware of it when we hide behind layers of self-doubt and looking for ‘what’s wrong’.
Instead of looking at ourselves as a child looks at themselves, ‘what can be observed when a child looks at themselves in the mirror… you can see the way they admire and adore themselves with each and every glance.’
“The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.” How true and how empowering, it shows the power we have to live who we are, and that the deepest cut comes from ourselves.
There’s something about connecting and appreciating beyond what the eyes can see. It defies our preconception and judgement and it lets us know that there’s no excuse for denying our glory, which is totally inconvenient if we wanted to stay avoiding power/responsibility.
That is a great point we hurt ourselves far more than any hurt the world or others may ‘inflict’ on us, so addressing those hurts and allowing ourselves to just be us makes sense on so many levels, for that’s the one thing we’re all here to do, to live us and express the innate love we all are.
Yes, why would we inflict a hurt on ourselves, ‘The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.’
‘The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.’ Yes, this is the same for me and I guess for everyone too because the choice to not live who we truly are is a choice we knowingly make. It hurts because we are fighting our own light and avoiding truth. But if others hurt us, when we truly understand it, it is never personal. For example, someone who hurt others is simply deeply hurt themselves. Living free of hurts means it is impossible to inflict our hurts onto others because it is no longer present and love is what will be reflected instead. So, it is imperative to clear and heal our hurts to allow us to reflect love.
Great unfolding here Chan – we do hurt ourselves more than anyone else can and this realisation actually exposes how ridiculous the game is that we can play. For why would you want to hurt yourself and why would you want to hurt another? This would only happen from disconnection to our true essence. Hence any hurts as you have shared are ones that we can use as tools to reflect on how we have stepped away from what we know is the truth – thus our hurts can be an opportunity for us to heal and grow.
It’s amazing how transformational and inspiring our words can be when they are used to grow and deepen the love we can feel for ourselves and others. This article shows how profound a simple question can be if we really want to explore the answer for ourselves.
The more I connect with my essence the more I feel this when I look into a mirror.
Beautiful Vicky. It’s the connection with our essence what we makes us shine in a very precious way.
“No plastic surgery, wonder pills or diets, just a commitment to allowing myself to connect to, live and express me.” Yes it is easy to think that we need to change ourselves to be able to like ourselves but it’s not that we have to change ourselves because we are not right, we have to change how we are with ourselves, how we see ourselves as we are already everything but we are not choosing to see it.
There is so much to discover and enjoy about ourselves when we deeply connect, looking in the mirror then becomes a confirmation of the beauty and love we feel within.
Appreciation, nurturing, and loving ourselves is deeply transformational, and allows us to connect, live, and express the true self.
We cannot see the reflection, unless we feel the emanation. The reflection is just a confirmation of what we feel we emanate.
Its true children do adore themselves. When I was three I had three favourite dresses and wore them all during the day. How is it that we can go from that carefree innocence to hating everything we put on and avoiding looking in the mirror?
I love how you talk about seeing the woman you were becoming – how often do we look expecting to see an end result or hoping for something more or different – instead of enjoying how everyday we can ressurect ourselves a little bit more, and that it’s actually an amazing process – no matter how challenging it can be at times.
Letting go of expectations about ourselves and allowing what is there to blossom…is truly one of the best gifts we could offer not just ourselves but all those around us. And yet this can appear to be a hard thing to do at times…
I love looking in a mirror too, and that is, just like you Nicole, to with being connected to my inner beauty.
How I feel about myself when I look at myself in a mirror is a great reflection of how I have been living.
When we look in the mirror, do we look with appreciation and acceptance of our inner beauty and allowing this to shine through or do we look with critique and judgement? For me, I am now more comfortable with looking at myself in the mirror with appreciation and acceptance, it feels gorgeous to allow myself to really see my own reflection and let go of any self-judgement.
Lately whilst looking in the mirror, I have been enjoying not only how beautiful the reflection is that I can see, but more so how gorgeous the depth of quality that is there, a quality that I know I have been connecting to and saying ‘yes’ to, and how this Soulfullness emanates an exquisite beauty that reflects the magic of who we all are in essence.
Recently I got myself a little dresser, and what a difference it makes when I sit down in front of a mirror instead of standing! My whole body welcomes the experience. My body is more surrendered to receive and appreciate and adore what is being reflected in the mirror. It is now my favourite part of the day.
Very gorgeous Fumiyo, the space you create to support your body to surrender and care for yourself is beautiful. You can feel the difference when we apply self-love with much detail to your day.
For so many people they avoid mirrors or looking at photos of themselves, why is that? It seems many can be judging themselves and not accepting or appreciating who they are. I know for me when I look in the mirror I can at times have negative thoughts but if I don’t give them any energy I can see my true beauty shining through and embrace what my reflection is offering me in this moment.
For years I would avoid looking in the mirror and knew that I would be critical of myself but when I started to appreciate myself, the critical thoughts dropped away. It’s as if I no longer focus on the parts of the body that are not perfect but appreciate and celebrate the whole with its imperfections.
Very gorgeous Julie. I was wondering, if every woman in the world can look at themselves in the mirror with absolute love and appreciation, I am sure our relationships would look very different too.
I began to dress for me…. everything changes when we do things to express ourselves and not to impress others, or to ‘fit in’. For instance, life becomes super simple where we find ourselves in this effortless flow,
I know, and it is beautiful to allow our natural beauty and flow to guide our day with appreciation being the key to moving us from A to B. I am feeling more gorgeous than ever before and now, I dress in a way that is not shying away from expressing how I feel.
Are we brushing over things or are we prepared to get down to the nitty gritty? Get more honest and dig out those behaviour patterns that are not supportive to our true health and well being?
‘There was no admiration or adoration of myself. I would look in a mirror and not liking what I saw’, this was the same for myself, I felt disgust at my reflection, ie my body. Every time I walked away from the mirror, this feeling stayed with me. Reflections from the mirror are powerful and show us a lot, to be more exact they show us truth in how we have been living which can be uncomfortable to see. When we are ready to accept truth rather than resist, this is when we make different choices and our life slowly changes.
Looking in a mirror has always been a functional and practical thing for me to do – to check in that my appearance is ok. I have never clicked that it is also an opportunity to just stop and look at our reflection, to have a moment with ourselves and ponder on what is going on for us and the world around us. There is so much more in our reflections than meets the eye.
‘….to have a moment with ourselves and ponder on what is going on for us and the world around us.’ Beautifully put, Suse.
“why would I not want to stop, and looking in a mirror, see a true reflection of glorious me.” I remember as a child if you were caught looking at yourself in the mirror apart from doing your hair or checking your clothes, you got into trouble, they were afraid you would become vain, so much capping, naturally a child loves to look at themselves in the mirror, I am starting to take the time and appreciate the woman I see looking back at me in the mirror and it is such a joy.
True beauty within our eyes reveal the truth of where we come from and what the truth is for us to live.
The reflection in the mirror doesn’t lie. When we look into the mirror with love this is the reflection that we see.
There are many instances in a day where we can get and we can offer a true reflection. This happening is a marker of how much of ourselves we allow to be shared/shown.
I do recognize this proces of really looking at yourself in the mirror, and be able to see the real, beautiful, joyful you that is there in whatever state I am. It is shining through more and more.
This is a great reminder to celebrate ourselves when looking in the mirror, in fact going to the mirror for celebrating and appreciation as a first choice, rather than an add-on when we happen to be standing in front of the mirror. I’m going to try this out – going to the mirror for the purpose of appreciating me as I am.
Not only the mirror is a reflection, but life is a reflection as is all our relationships. For example I always had issues with family, with all of them if truth be told. However, I have changed and grown so much in the last few years (let go of my hurts), that now I am so much more open, honest and transparent, and so all my relationships have improved, especially the relationships with all my family. The closeness with my family now is a powerful reflection and confirmation of all the love I am now choosing for myself having healed my lack of self-worth and lack of commitment to life issues. I now love committing to life, and I love sharing all of me.
I love this word; blossom… when do we truly blossom and open up like a flower, is through acceptance, accepting all that we have chosen, accepting where we find ourselves in life, accepting that everything happens for a reason and we can read it for the lesson and the growth, and accepting that we are far grander than the eye can see and in that grandness we have everything we need within for this life journey.
‘just a commitment to allowing myself to connect to, live and express me’, it is this commitment that transforms our lives in a way that we are able to live true to ourselves.
I have always dressed for myself and not for anyone else. I have always had a good sense of what suited me and what didn’t. The difference is that these days I am not afraid to be seen, and enjoy being out there in the world connecting with people.
Oh yes reflections are powerful especially self reflections from the timeless and ‘spiteful’ mirror that does nothing but present truth – and that truth can be painful and is why we avoid truly looking at ourselves. As soon as we drop the protection, ( the masks and the hardness), humbleness and grace can enter and the once spiteful mirror becomes a place where truth dwells – and a confirmation of so much beauty, light and grandness – a reminder of who we truly are.
In society we have severely diminished how we consider ourselves, to our physicality alone, and often this is only what we see when we look in the mirror. And in this separation, we don’t stop here, but take it further to separating ourselves and defining our worth by measuring up our body parts to pictures offered by society. It is a great question to ask of ourselves as to what we see when we look in the mirror, as you we see the reflection of the Son of God the we innately are, the body and being that is here to reflect the light of our Divinity, through which our eyes can never hide the truth of who we all really are in essence.
Wow Carola, beautifully expressed. I realise when I claim the fact that I am here to reflect God’s love and light, then the way I express is no longer just about me but it is for humanity and beyond. It is deeply loving and oh so simple when I let go of any identification and allow the light of God to guide me in my expression.
I’m feeling to put myself on a program to look in the mirror at myself, truly see myself, every day. My relationship with myself has changed enormously, but there is always a deepening to allow, greater intimacy to surrender into, sacredness to claim and power to express.
With nurturing and acceptance we do blossom, ‘I have been nurturing, embracing and loving the person I am – without any expectations or comparisons to another.’
I have found the more aware I am of the hurt, and knowing this hurt is just a picture of a way I thought it should be, and under that is the real me shining through, why would I not want to stop, look in a mirror, and see a true reflection of the glorious me.
Looking to see if we’re measuring up to our own or others’ expectations versus looking to confirm the beauty of who we are… I know which I’d prefer.
Yes – so well said Victoria. I have tried the first way you mention, for many years, and it left me feeling belittled, worthless, exhausted, and with no true sense of who I am. Since embracing the latter, I can honestly say my life has never felt so enriched, plus what is continually inspiring is that I feel I have only just touched the surface…
Me too Victoria and every time we confirm our beauty and embrace appreciation we are then reflecting joy to others. Something our world is currently lacking and need this reflection more than ever.
Appreciation is so important, appreciating who we are inside, our true self, whilst choosing to connect to and express our true self, ‘ just a commitment to allowing myself to connect to, live and express me.’
I actively avoided my reflections in mirrors and shop windows. I used to get annoyed if I saw people looking at themselves other than for a functional purpose, believing them to be vain and self absorbed. I only looked to check my clothing and to brush my teeth. Now I can look into my eyes whilst looking in the mirror and smile at the woman I’m beginning to see.
True Beauty comes to life. There are many women and everyone who would appreciate reading this blog. It is a very common experience when it comes to mirrors. People often automatically make a comment about themselves in a not so favorable way when in this position.
Beautiful Nicole so very worth appreciating who we are from with-in and all the tiny steps and moments that support us to re-claim our gorgeousness from the inside out.
Truly beautiful to actually appreciate ourselves when we look in the mirror, and a great opportunity to care and nurture ourselves knowing that we are each worth it, connecting more deeply to the woman we are, and reflecting all our glory, for the world to see and feel.
Nicole it is beautiful to read of your deep appreciation and acceptance of yourself and how powerful your reflection is to others reminding them equally of their own amazingness too.
‘I was now allowing the woman I had always been, out’… Oh i know what you mean Nicole. Recently, I have been feeling the impulse to express more of the woman I am. I have not had much time to do this lately as I have been working a lot and it was shift work. That said, I am starting a new job on Monday, and I can already feel the space open up for me, space in which I can have more time to express my sweetness and tenderness and much more and I can feel I will have more time to play…. to play with others!
How gorgeous Nicole, when we connect we truely see the beauty, tenderness and divinity that is there. I love how you now appreciate, accept and honour your blossoming self.
Who needs plastic surgery when we can use a consistent dose of appreciation and loving choices to shine and let our true beauty be our natural way of being?
There is big gap between when I look in the mirror to make sure what others see is presentable and when I look straight into my eyes. The first one is often riddled with judgements & even best feels like an empty praise. But in my eyes I see the huge joy and playfulness that is my essence, and even in those moments when I have not been so connected, the sadness in my eyes still show the gorgeousness and tenderness within me. Just the choice of being present with myself in front of the mirror or not itself makes a huge difference
It’s funny to look at something we do and have done thousands of times but when we consider it we have actually never truly done it. Looking in the mirror is a great one as most of us would do this at least once a day and yet have we truly looked? Or have we just been a critique factory of what we have caught a glimpse of and from there not seen past the critique? I know this morning when I go to the mirror at some stage I will watch more deeply what I see and what the thoughts are around the reflection. Something so simple and so consistently everyday will and can be a great support for us.
Today I look in the mirror and am blown away by the beauty I see shining back at me. This is incredible for in the past I could not look at myself without harsh thoughts and judgements – often feeling ugly and unlovable. It’s extraordinary how far we can go to deny ourselves the truth of what and who we are and yet how simple it is to turn this around.
Lucy I so relate to what you share here. When I look in the mirror these days I actually stop and take a few moments to observe the light shining in my eyes which is a lovely confirmation of my true beauty shining through – no more holding back!
It is hard to admit to ourselves that our deepest hurt is something that is self-inflicted – but it makes sense. In my experience everything arises from our relationship with ourselves and so the good news is that we can choose again and heal that relationship – hence ‘healing’ that reflection at the same time.
Our reflection is so much more than how we look. It’s how we live that essentially makes our reflection what it is, energetically so.
We tend to exclude ourselves from the reflections we get daily. So, when we look at the mirror, that possibility is usually off the chart. Yet, why? Because of the lack of inner space in us that identifies us with the character that appears at the first glance.
I can relate a lot to your experience Nicole. I have most the time looked at something on my face, zooming into a flaw that I perceived I had but never really looking at me or what I was reflecting out. That was until I got a dressing table and sit and look at me while putting my makeup on. There are days that I don’t like seeing the tiredness and disregard I have been living in my face and there others that I see the beauty, grace and warmth that is there. Recently I notice how different I looked in the mirror at home compared to how I looked in the mirror at work. Showing the different faces I put on.
This should be taught in every school, in fact this needs to be available to every adult in the world, as so much can be gained when we start to love ourselves.
Thank you Nicole for sharing this. A reminder for us all to take the time to deeply appreciate, that who we are within is deeply beautiful, tender, sacred and wise. I am discovering (and appreciating!) the more we do, the more we truly nurture, cherish and care for ourselves, as such we feel freer to live who we truly are with a greater fullness, to which there is no end to the degree that this love can be lived.
We are so accustomed that we are the face others (and us) see, that we do not look deeper. On top of that, we can filter out everything we do not want to see. So, keeping any reflection shorter than the truth we could access to is not that hard. Yet, it is not the truth and nothing but the truth.
It’s beautiful to read how you changed the way that you look at yourself and how that spilled over into how you dress and apply make-up. Blossoming is a great way to describe it and it really feels like that – something that you nurtured and expanded into from inside of you.
Your article is as gorgeous to read as it is profound in what it has exposed, for as you have shown… if the entire world committed to nurturing, loving and accepting themselves like you have, there would be no need for such a focus on external beauty, and plastic surgery, wonder pills and diets would be a thing of the past and a reminder of a time where we had forgotten that true beauty come only from within.
SO true Nicole, when we connect, we can see the real beauty that is there – and the judgements fall apart, the beliefs fall away.. simply if we truly allow, we can just be with all the beauty that we are.
By both enjoying and appreciating the reflection of ourselves being mirrored back to us it becomes far easier to actually enjoy and appreciate ourselves full stop.
When we look at ourselves in a mirror we make choices regarding what we do, do we focus on a specific point or aspect?Do we cover one whole area of the body? Do we look at the whole in a glance to check something up? Do we truly look ourselves in the knowing that there is much more that cannot be captured by the human eye? What and who do we look at?
Thank you for your honest blog Nicole – this sentence got me: “The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.” Is it not that most of us can relate to what you have shared so truthfully? You also deliver a way out of this hurt and these are the wonders of true understanding, appreciating, accepting and then loving oneself . . .
Women who know their true beauty is so very powerful. They look absolutely stunningly naturally beautiful – and it is never about their facial features or the body shapes. This is much easier to see it on others as I have had my fair share of self-acceptance issues, struggling but desperately wanting to be able to love myself for who I was, yet fearing being caught out as being narcissistic if I dare go there. Totally insane.