Have you ever stopped – looking in a mirror to enjoy a true reflection – or is it just a glance to make sure your make-up or hair is ok?
I remember one day being asked just that; “do you look at yourself in the mirror, or is it just a glance?” Of course, I thought, I always look in the mirror – or did I?
Sure I would look in the mirror but never was I really looking at me – I was looking at a mere shadow of myself which was then presented to the world.
It was time to start looking past the facade that I had created to protect and hide myself from the world; to allow myself to see the true me. It was an awkward and at times uncomfortable process – making myself stop and look at what was being reflected back to me.
Funny really, as I worked as a hairdresser so I was in front of mirrors all day every day, and yet it was easy to avoid looking at myself, making it all about the client.
There was no admiration or adoration of myself. I would look in a mirror and not liking what I saw, I would instead choose to make every glance about something else. For example, when trying on clothes I never looked at myself but looked at and admired the clothes I was trying on – never once stopping to admire the person that was wearing the clothes. The body and person under the clothes were just that… there was no appreciation or connection to me, just an observation of the reflection of what I saw in the mirror.
So the process unfolded on many levels, keeping it simple to start with and taking time to actually look at myself when I was in front of the mirror. Not unlike what can be observed when a child looks at themselves in the mirror… you can see the way they admire and adore themselves with each and every glance.
Before long I was beginning to see the true essence of me coming through – the facade was beginning to drop away and I was no longer afraid of how I presented to the world.
I began to dress for me, not the world or the mirror; my make-up was applied to my face in a way that supported the natural glow that was now emanating.
As this unfolded I started to enjoy walking past a mirror and slowly began to appreciate the woman I was becoming – or what I should say is that I was now allowing the woman I had always been, out.
I did not stop to consider the amazing beauty I had concealed from myself and the world – I only knew that the hurt I had been protecting myself from was actually coming from me. I was hurt because I had been hiding this awesome reflection and every time I looked in the mirror the sadness was felt. I did not like what I saw – what I was looking at was not me and it hurt. The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.
I have been nurturing, embracing and loving the person I am – without any expectations or comparisons to another.
Over time, with this nurturing I have blossomed and continue to blossom every day with more and more acceptance for myself.
It was this simple question from Serge Benhayon about the way I looked at myself in a mirror – or not – many, many years before, that began my process of self-acceptance; a process that has been nothing short of a true transformation. No plastic surgery, wonder pills or diets, just a commitment to allowing myself to connect to, live and express me.
I now live each day appreciating the woman I am, continuing my expansion of self for all the world to see.
With the hurts falling away and the real me shining through, why would I not want to stop, and looking in a mirror, see a true reflection of glorious me.
Inspired by the work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
By Nicole Serafin, Age 42,Tintenbar, Australia
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
I’m feeling to put myself on a program to look in the mirror at myself, truly see myself, every day. My relationship with myself has changed enormously, but there is always a deepening to allow, greater intimacy to surrender into, sacredness to claim and power to express.
With nurturing and acceptance we do blossom, ‘I have been nurturing, embracing and loving the person I am – without any expectations or comparisons to another.’
I have found the more aware I am of the hurt, and knowing this hurt is just a picture of a way I thought it should be, and under that is the real me shining through, why would I not want to stop, look in a mirror, and see a true reflection of the glorious me.
Looking to see if we’re measuring up to our own or others’ expectations versus looking to confirm the beauty of who we are… I know which I’d prefer.
Appreciation is so important, appreciating who we are inside, our true self, whilst choosing to connect to and express our true self, ‘ just a commitment to allowing myself to connect to, live and express me.’
I actively avoided my reflections in mirrors and shop windows. I used to get annoyed if I saw people looking at themselves other than for a functional purpose, believing them to be vain and self absorbed. I only looked to check my clothing and to brush my teeth. Now I can look into my eyes whilst looking in the mirror and smile at the woman I’m beginning to see.
True Beauty comes to life. There are many women and everyone who would appreciate reading this blog. It is a very common experience when it comes to mirrors. People often automatically make a comment about themselves in a not so favorable way when in this position.
Beautiful Nicole so very worth appreciating who we are from with-in and all the tiny steps and moments that support us to re-claim our gorgeousness from the inside out.
Truly beautiful to actually appreciate ourselves when we look in the mirror, and a great opportunity to care and nurture ourselves knowing that we are each worth it, connecting more deeply to the woman we are, and reflecting all our glory, for the world to see and feel.
Nicole it is beautiful to read of your deep appreciation and acceptance of yourself and how powerful your reflection is to others reminding them equally of their own amazingness too.
‘I was now allowing the woman I had always been, out’… Oh i know what you mean Nicole. Recently, I have been feeling the impulse to express more of the woman I am. I have not had much time to do this lately as I have been working a lot and it was shift work. That said, I am starting a new job on Monday, and I can already feel the space open up for me, space in which I can have more time to express my sweetness and tenderness and much more and I can feel I will have more time to play…. to play with others!
How gorgeous Nicole, when we connect we truely see the beauty, tenderness and divinity that is there. I love how you now appreciate, accept and honour your blossoming self.
Who needs plastic surgery when we can use a consistent dose of appreciation and loving choices to shine and let our true beauty be our natural way of being?
There is big gap between when I look in the mirror to make sure what others see is presentable and when I look straight into my eyes. The first one is often riddled with judgements & even best feels like an empty praise. But in my eyes I see the huge joy and playfulness that is my essence, and even in those moments when I have not been so connected, the sadness in my eyes still show the gorgeousness and tenderness within me. Just the choice of being present with myself in front of the mirror or not itself makes a huge difference
It’s funny to look at something we do and have done thousands of times but when we consider it we have actually never truly done it. Looking in the mirror is a great one as most of us would do this at least once a day and yet have we truly looked? Or have we just been a critique factory of what we have caught a glimpse of and from there not seen past the critique? I know this morning when I go to the mirror at some stage I will watch more deeply what I see and what the thoughts are around the reflection. Something so simple and so consistently everyday will and can be a great support for us.
Today I look in the mirror and am blown away by the beauty I see shining back at me. This is incredible for in the past I could not look at myself without harsh thoughts and judgements – often feeling ugly and unlovable. It’s extraordinary how far we can go to deny ourselves the truth of what and who we are and yet how simple it is to turn this around.
Lucy I so relate to what you share here. When I look in the mirror these days I actually stop and take a few moments to observe the light shining in my eyes which is a lovely confirmation of my true beauty shining through – no more holding back!
It is hard to admit to ourselves that our deepest hurt is something that is self-inflicted – but it makes sense. In my experience everything arises from our relationship with ourselves and so the good news is that we can choose again and heal that relationship – hence ‘healing’ that reflection at the same time.
Our reflection is so much more than how we look. It’s how we live that essentially makes our reflection what it is, energetically so.
We tend to exclude ourselves from the reflections we get daily. So, when we look at the mirror, that possibility is usually off the chart. Yet, why? Because of the lack of inner space in us that identifies us with the character that appears at the first glance.
This should be taught in every school, in fact this needs to be available to every adult in the world, as so much can be gained when we start to love ourselves.
Thank you Nicole for sharing this. A reminder for us all to take the time to deeply appreciate, that who we are within is deeply beautiful, tender, sacred and wise. I am discovering (and appreciating!) the more we do, the more we truly nurture, cherish and care for ourselves, as such we feel freer to live who we truly are with a greater fullness, to which there is no end to the degree that this love can be lived.
It’s beautiful to read how you changed the way that you look at yourself and how that spilled over into how you dress and apply make-up. Blossoming is a great way to describe it and it really feels like that – something that you nurtured and expanded into from inside of you.
Your article is as gorgeous to read as it is profound in what it has exposed, for as you have shown… if the entire world committed to nurturing, loving and accepting themselves like you have, there would be no need for such a focus on external beauty, and plastic surgery, wonder pills and diets would be a thing of the past and a reminder of a time where we had forgotten that true beauty come only from within.
By both enjoying and appreciating the reflection of ourselves being mirrored back to us it becomes far easier to actually enjoy and appreciate ourselves full stop.
When we look at ourselves in a mirror we make choices regarding what we do, do we focus on a specific point or aspect?Do we cover one whole area of the body? Do we look at the whole in a glance to check something up? Do we truly look ourselves in the knowing that there is much more that cannot be captured by the human eye? What and who do we look at?
Thank you for your honest blog Nicole – this sentence got me: “The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.” Is it not that most of us can relate to what you have shared so truthfully? You also deliver a way out of this hurt and these are the wonders of true understanding, appreciating, accepting and then loving oneself . . .
Women who know their true beauty is so very powerful. They look absolutely stunningly naturally beautiful – and it is never about their facial features or the body shapes. This is much easier to see it on others as I have had my fair share of self-acceptance issues, struggling but desperately wanting to be able to love myself for who I was, yet fearing being caught out as being narcissistic if I dare go there. Totally insane.
A lot of people avoid mirrors, I reckon it’s not because they in truth don’t like themselves – but because in the reflection they see every ounce of disregard and abuse they’ve given themselves, and how they have not cherished and nurtured that absolutely beautiful person that they are.
It’s fascinating how we look different day to day, or even at different points in the day – there’s so much more to our reflection than we are often prepared to be honest about.
I used to be a great mirror avoider, developing a technique to ensure if I was near a mirror that I didn’t actually look at myself. And if I was trying on clothes in a shop I would close my eyes as I began to take my clothes off and wouldn’t open them until I had the shop clothes on. What a lot of time and effort I used to avoid seeing the woman in the mirror, a woman who if I looked deeply behind the pain and the issues I was carrying was actually rather beautiful.
Beautiful Nicole. It is interesting what we choose to see when we look at our reflection in the mirror. I always looked at the reflection of my physical self with self-criticism but now that I choose to look deep into my eyes I see reflected back my inner beauty and love of the all.
What we need to accept is that beauty is an innate feeling a quality and not something that is given to the lucky ones, or something we need to work for, we all have it, we just need to let it shine out.
To see our own beauty is a choice we need to make, which will then be reflected back to us.
The way we use our eyes and the images we allow ourselves to see is determined by what we want to perceive. If we look at ourselves convinced that we are ugly for whatever reason, we see that picture in the mirror because we are looking in a way that confirms that.
“…what I was looking at was not me and it hurt.”
This makes so much sense Nicole, what we dislike about ourselves is that we have become someone we are not and it does hurt to realize that. The good thing is if we are honest about this fact, we can start to make different choices that bring us back to who we truly are and we can register that in our essence we are absolutely adorable.
I love what you share here Nicole, when we look in the mirror are we taking time to truly appreciate and adore ourselves or using it to bash ourselves and point out and find flaws. I know the more I enjoy my reflection it feels expansive in my body and this supports me to shine throughout the day, and on the days I judge myself in the mirror how this can affect the quality of my day – time to choose the 1st option more consistently and deepen the relationship with myself.
Great sharing Nicole. My relationship with myself and the mirror is ever evolving. I realized when I am connected with myself I love looking at myself in the mirror. When I am not I don’t like what I see. This can be in the same day.
I never realised why I always avoided mirrors until it was pointed out that they were reflecting back to me my lack of appreciation of me and revealing my deep sadness for the lack of relationship with myself. It is only since I have started to appreciate myself and confirm this that how I am with mirrors has changed and I can now look myself in the eye and feel my connection to myself and how beautiful this is.
“The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me” – I agree, and it is a self-inflicted one. There’s no one to blame, but us to choose another way of being, always.
It’s so true that the hurts we believe we’re protecting ourselves from feeling are in fact of our own making. Our choice to hold onto them and to use them to avoid appreciating that we are not our hurts, to avoid appreciating the true beauty that we are, inside and out.
It is amazing, Nicole ,that we can look in a mirror and only see what we want to see and often it is on the surface. I am now looking at myself with a deeper appreciation of “me” and am much more loving to my body with this process.
It is only in recent years do I ‘really’ look at myself in the mirror and it gives me great joy. Previously I did not truly look at my image as I was in denial of how I was. Every so often the facade I held would drop and I catch myself unexpectedly in the mirror and be shocked for short period of time at how over-weight and unhealthy I looked. But I would put that aside, so to speak, and carry on as I was. It is with the deepest appreciation for Serge Benhayon for presenting a different, true way of being and my willingness to embrace the change that I now look with pleasure in the mirror at my reflection.
So true Jade, for if we do not stop to appreciate and enjoy our own reflection how can we possibly begin to appreciate and enjoy another’s?
Without doubt in the past the reflection I have looked for in the mirror was one of a surface level only, a how do I look for the world around me… I have never really considered that I could use these moments on a deeper level to value myself and confirm my essence – this will certainly change now! Your words of wisdom have been a breath of fresh air Nicole. What a thoroughly enjoyable and beautiful blog this has been to read.
A blog I can relate to Nicole! What I’m finding for myself now is that the more I’m willing to look in the mirror and see and feel the true essence of me, the more I am also able to see and feel this in others. And thus we have the power of magnification and reflection!
Thank you Nicole a gorgeous sharing and one that took a moment for me to really feel ‘how do I look at myself in the mirror’. I’ve come from a place that was only looking at the outside appearance. Not so much now as self-love has come into my life and a gentle gaze looks right back at me. No more ‘does my bum look big in that’ but a look that says thank you God for this gift as I’m now truly appreciating each and every day and that result is looking right back at me.
Looking in the mirror is such a simple thing to do but how often do I do it and enjoy my reflection – well after reading this blog I can feel not enough. Your blog is a beautiful support for people such as me shying away from enjoying my amazing and glorious self, time to build this into my life more, thank you for the reminder.
Beautiful Nicole, incredible change, what would we do without Serge Benhayon? Well, I would be even more further away from myself – not knowing who I am. In this stage of my life I am becoming more aware of who I am and have been developing this for the last 4 years – a connection with myself that is absolutely inspired by all the work that Serge has presented over the years and at the same time with all the true reflections of the family Benhayon. Gorgeous bunch of deeply loving people. I am glad that I am back – and have refound myself – for who I am – once and for all – I will never choose to lose this again – never!
A friend who was staying with me, commented one day on how many mirrors I had in my home, I then realised how little attention I paid to mirrors or to me, in fact, I would glance in the bathroom mirror to do my hair or quickly my makeup but that was it. Slowly I am taking more time to be with me as I look in the mirror, I can now take the time to stop and smile, and even appreciate, the person who is looking back at me.
‘I’ve really looked at myself and received what was looking back at me’ – that’s it Brooke. The difference in how that feels is huge if a little disconcerting at first!
I notice there is a big difference between the perfunctory glance in the mirror to check what I am wearing, my hair, or the utilitarian requirement for a shaving mirror… to really looking at myself in the mirror. I don’t mean this in a narcissistic way (which is perhaps what I initially reacted to), but to see what is truly going on. There is information there in how my body is, there is appreciation for me no matter what, and there is a recognition that I am, with no avoidance. Its well worth taking the time now and then to truly appreciate ourselves.
Revisiting this blog i found a complete new aspect that struck me Nicole. You gave me a clue to why I sometimes dislike what I see when I am looking in the mirror and that is the fact that when I do not fully appreciate myself for who I truly am, I am living my hurts instead and to see that is actually very devastating as deep inside I know I am not that. When I connect to this I can truly feel the hurt of not living who I truly am, a Divine being that has reduced his life to a mere sparkle of that. Thank you Nicole for bringing this clarity to me.
Such a beautiful sharing Nicole, I just realised that when I look in the mirror I am often seeing the clothes but not often me in them. Thank you. I feel the joy of you, reflecting back to you, the truly beautiful you.
Nicole, how beautiful that you are now seeing the amazing and inspiring woman you are. A very healing and loving imprint to take out into the world.
When I am being critical of myself and just want to ‘glance in the mirror’, I focus on my eyes. When I look myself in my eyes, I can’t help but feel all the beauty that I am inside and my lack of self-acceptance melts.
Yes Carmin, this is exactly my experience, I cannot walk away from what I see in my eyes, it instantly connects me to who I am and the grandness that comes with that. it is always this reminder that gives me the opportunity to step out of my hurts, my creations and to return to what is true in life and live this.
It took many years and the wisdom presented by Serge Benhayon to finally get me to acknowledge that: “The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.” – and the pain I carried from hiding me away from the world was huge. It has taken a long time to be able to stop and look at myself in the mirror for no other reason than to take the time to truly look at, and acknowledge the beautiful woman who is looking back at me, and there are still days it is only a passing glance. There are some days I still can only see the pain, but as my love for me grows deeper those days are getting fewer and fewer.
Nicole this is a super powerful sharing – thank you. What you have reflected is how when we are honest about how we are truly with ourselves we can then begin to heal our hurts which hold us back from being who we truly are and expressing in full. Through which we can appreciate all the love that we are in essence and share this light with world. ‘The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.’ – very true and beautifully said.
Wow Nicole that was a revealing blog. What your shared here is gold. Your wrote: “. I was hurt because I had been hiding this awesome reflection and every time I looked in the mirror the sadness was felt.” How many people are not loving what they see in the mirror and are not aware that they only see their own sadness for not choosing the love they are? It is beautiful to read what you have experienced with being more self loving and self accepting – this is very inspirational.
It is very true what you share Nicole. Once we start and commit to appreciating ourselves and others for exactly who we are as we are, a lovely warm feeling starts to come from inside. This feeling has all the potential in the universe for us the lovingly be all of who we are, without reservation. And this is the reflection the glass or world mirror reflects back to us.
‘ The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.’ – Wow Nicole what a power-full and true statement. No one can inflict pain onto us, the deep hurt we feel is the pain of missing our true selves. Thank you for the beautiful reminder to look in a mirror and truly appreciate and accept the amazingness we are.
This is an incredible process that you describe Nicole. Of appreciating, accepting and really seeing myself as I gaze into my reflection. I notice that I have glazed over in my eyes, not wanting to really see the World or have the World see me; which is I am sure why I am still marginally short sighted. A protection that kicked in when I was feeling the pressure of the World in Year 12.
Nurturing and being with the Woman I am, in my early morning, as I shower and dress and as I do my hair and make up, I am seeing my eyes more open and allowing, more at ease. It is very beautiful. I am also adoring my body, exactly the way it is, appreciating it for the truth it constantly offers me.
‘The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.’
This sentence is very true Nicole, we all walk around protecting ourselves because we’ve been hurt by others, but what really hurts is our walking away from ourselves, so it doesn’t make sense that we don’t let other people in.
I love it Yasmin when you describe how you “…sometimes go back again to the mirror to allow pause, to acknowledge me , this always begins with looking deeply into my own eyes.” This is truly beautiful and something I have also been doing lately.
To look into the mirror and really hear how we talk to ourselves is an amazing step to uncovering just how we are with ourselves. This is a great point you have raised Amanda. It is also great for me to realise and appreciate that my self talk has shifted significantly from pulling apart all my so called imperfections to really looking at myself in the mirror and appreciating the power in my eyes, the glow of my skin, the relaxed nature of my face, how my jaw has changed, how the wrinkles on my face have lessened and so much more. So much has changed since I have been taking more loving care of myself and my reflection in the mirror is reflecting this :).
I’ve noticed that the greatest reflection that I experience is that of my thoughts. If I am present, the quality of my thoughts is a perfect reflection of my state of being. Am I thinking or being caught in the conundrums of everyday life or am I engaged in the awareness of living in connection. This plays itself out in front of the mirror as well, do I feel the deep sense of me or do I not give that a second look.
I recall hearing one amazing lady who knows her own value inside and out share her love of mirrors and looking at herself (she has no less than six in her bedroom alone). And why wouldn’t you, if what you see is simply gorgeous and amazing? That’s where I want to get to.
Nicole this article is a great ‘reflection’ in and of itself for us all, prompting us to examine our own relationship with ourselves. I noticed over the years that I too had fallen into the habit of making it all about checking my appearance rather than deeply admiring me. I’ve also noticed that I would apparently look different in different mirrors and at different times of the day – a very interesting phenomenon, and one that showed me how I received what I saw depended on what I was feeling in the emotional sense at that time. But most of all I came to see the judgment in each of those looks, the constant negative self-assessment and appraisal. Today, rather than looking at my image critically, I’m practicing looking at how I feel in the energetic sense – what I’m emanating.
This is so beautiful to read Alison. Thank you very much for sharing this gorgeous moment with us all. Very inspiring.
“…we ARE enough, we don’t need to undergo surgery to discover the perfection that lies within us all.” I love what you have shared here Alison as it rings so true to me.
Great point, Doug. Our lack of relationship with ourselves in the mirror and in daily life is certainly fuelling the demand for plastic surgery. The increase in demand is a direct indication of how lost we, as a society, are becoming. But there is another way and Nicole has presented such a simple way to engage with ourselves on a much deeper level here in this blog.
I love this Nicole! You have shared so beautifully the difference between how we use the mirror to further cement how we feel about ourselves in the critical or negative sense or to truly stop and pay attention and feel who is looking back at us. This is such a wonderful example of how we can relearn to deeply connect and appreciate ourselves. It’s always fascinates me how accurately our reflection reveals how we have been living, when I feel amazing I look amazing but when I feel flat or off, then that also shows. The mirror never lies! But even when we may not feel quite ourselves, this is when we really need to look deep and see past the outer and connect to who is really looking back at us. Awesome blog, thank you
What a great commitment you have made Danna, to appreciate yourself in many ways, and by, ‘becoming more aware of how beautiful I am from the inside, I see how actually beautiful I am on the outside too’, and then appreciate that too. This is not based on ideals and beliefs of how we should look, but from how we are feeling inside.
The difference between the mirror as a tormentor and the mirror as a gift of reflection. That is the change that has occurred for me since working with Universal Medicine. The mirror has not changed – I have! And not on the outside either – no plastic surgery, just a little bit of ageing!
What has occurred with the support of Universal Medicine is a breaking out of a prison of imposed (some by me) ideas and beliefs about how I should be and look in the world. Multiple roles taken on, along with various outer guises and appearance management. None of which supported me in truth and all of which were therefore unsustainable and a struggle.
Alongside Universal Medicine I have been able to let a true expression of me emerge and to actually get to know myself. Therefore what I see in the mirror today is me – sweet, beautiful, vital and inspired – not a mask that is always just falling short of requirements.
What a gift ! To see and break free of the beliefs and imposed ways of being in the World. This is liberation.
I know that too Lee, looking to how I look instead of feeling the beautiful and deep emanation of love that is reflected from my total image in the mirror. Nowadays the reflection of me from the mirror can sometimes completely stop me and make me amazed about the beauty I see.
Thank you Nicole, I will pay more attention to myself next time I am in front of a mirror and check the degree to which I connect to the reflection coming back or if I use it for the function it provides… I have a hunch it will show me a bigger reflection of how I interact with others as well.
Great point Joel “I have a hunch it will show me a bigger reflection of how I interact with others as well.” Not only does the reflection we see allow us to feel how we feel about ourselves, but how we feel about others… So the question to me is not “Will we see?” or “What will we see?” but “How much do we allow ourselves to see?”
I too really related and enjoyed reading how you dropped this mask you used to hide your hurts from the world. It feels lovely to appreciate my inner beauty by looking at my own reflection and see how more and more I risk letting others in.
I really understand this sentence, it resonated with me “The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.” I got to the point where I made a decision that I would not turn away from being truthful, and speaking my truth was what I needed to do, I could not continue to be a ‘shadow’ it hurt so much, I cold feel tension in my chest, stress in my shoulders, sadness over my heart and now it has melted and nothing that any one can attack me with would ever hurt as much as me not speaking this truth.
Beautifully said, Samantha. And nothing surpasses the feeling I have when I am melted into the sweetness that I am in relationship with God and life.
‘The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.’ I can so relate to this. And relate to what this looks like when I look in the mirror – I see a kind of ghost looking back. The pain of me not committing to fully being with myself in this world. I have seen this harm reflected back to me.
But what is beautifully shared is looking deeper and seeing the beauty within and how accepting this is me allowing myself to shine.
Nicole wow and wow I so love your blog. It shows me I’m worth looking beyond my hurt of not seeing all of who I am to ‘I was now allowing the woman I had always been, out.’ I hadn’t appreciated this fully until now but having gone in and tried on some clothes I got the top because I loved seeing my skin through the holes at the shoulder. It felt so lovely appreciating me.
Such a change from the other day where I lamented I didn’t have the body that looked good in the clothes – me trying to fit the clothes and not the other way around. It’s not about what I look like on a superficial level it’s about me wearing clothes that celebrate me.
Thanks for highlighting that line Elizabeth. I had skimmed over that part in the blog. I can appreciate myself in the mirror but I don’t allow myself to adore me. I’m going to give it a go!
This reminds me of how i look at myself in the mirror immediately after having had a healing session. When I first began having healing sessions, the esoteric practitioner I saw had a mirror in her room. On getting off the table she would encourage me to look in the mirror. The reflection I saw was one that I wanted to continually look at in the mirror. I also think of my son. As a baby I had a mirror on the floor and he would spend hours in front of it looking at himself. At age six he often sits in front of the mirror looking at himself and playing. It is a beautiful thing to watch him enjoy his reflection and be so playful with himself.
It is a beautiful reminder to me also, ‘to stop and take the time to really enjoy my own reflection’, to appreciate the amazing woman I truly am.
‘I was hurt because I had been hiding this awesome reflection and every time I looked in the mirror the sadness was felt.’ Yes Nicole, how we used to feel hurt because we hide who we are, our amazingness, I can relate… I love how you turned this around and now celebrate, shine and appreciate the true beautiful person you are.
Who is looking at who, when we look in the mirror. Are we looking from a place of truth, or is it from the outer existence that has been created from all around looking back on ourselves. Both provide very different realities.
Great revelation Matthew. There is much to ponder on here in your comment.
Waiting be seen by you and everyone else!
Yes, Francisco, I too have felt this increased level of intimacy with myself and others.
How we feel when we really look at ourselves in the mirror is a great indication of where we are at with our relationship with ourselves. I know for me this has been transforming from only glancing at myself or looking at the parts of my face that I am applying makeup to… to standing in from of the mirror admiring my amazing eyes, my smooth and shiny skin, my makeup that has been lovingly applied. Yes, it was uncomfortable to start with but now it feels amazing to have a date with myself in the mirror and to really see myself for the amazing beauty I am, inside and out.
‘How we feel when we really look at ourselves in the mirror is a great indication of where we are at with our relationship with ourselves,’ and can help deepen our levels of intimacy. A beautiful sharing Nicole and Robyn, and time for me to go further with this.
“and can help deepen our levels of intimacy.” Absolutely Lorraine!
This is a beautiful blog Nicole. I remember a friend once asked me if I ever look in the mirror and look into my eyes and know that I am a son of God. When this man asked me this I thought, wow that is a good question. The answer was no, I had never done that. and then the question became why have I never done that? I started giving it a go after that and was amazed at the different times of looking into my eyes and what I saw. Sometimes I could see all of me and others I could clearly notice that I was not there so to speak. It was a fascinating experience, and I could really relate what I saw to how I was feeling or how I was being in the day.
I like to do a double take when I look in the mirror. When I look in the mirror, the habit of glancing is now followed by a deeper look into my eyes, to confirm myself, what I’m feeling and reflect how I am in the day. I can feel the glancing getting less and less.
Wow Nicole, you have really inspired me to look in the mirror and not just glance at myself, I love how you adore and appreciate yourself now, so beautiful. It makes me realise that there is this idea that it is ‘vain’ and ‘big headed’ to look in the mirror and that because of this I did not ever want to be caught looking at myself in the mirror, let alone adoring myself, but your article shows me that it is not vain but very lovely to look at ourselves and that this is a great way to re-connect.
Thanks for sharing this Shannon. I don’t recall a particular incident, but I definitely have something that says ‘you’re vain’ or as you say ‘up yourself’ around looking at myself in a mirror in a public area. It feels like an unspoken ‘rule’ that says you cannot appreciate your own beauty, it’s just not the done thing. I have no idea where this came from but your blog has given me some food for thought – thank you.
Your blog is very refreshing to read Nicole. It is so common for women to critique themselves when looking in the mirror so to come to where you have is inspirational for women (and men) to read.
And where does this destructive habit come from I wonder? It really is no the way to treat ourselves, critiquing instead of appreciating. Thankfully there are women around the world breaking this mould, those who have listened to and been inspired by Serge Benhayon, Natalie Benhayon and the many role models within Universal Medicine, to be loving and tender with themselves. Realising that we are totally worth it as well. This has made a high difference to my life just realising that I am in fact worth the Love and Attention I give to myself nowadays.
After reading this Nicole I’m going to be much more aware of my relationship with myself and the mirror and being more open to really seeing and appreciating me.
What a beautiful sharing and reflection of yourself and all you are. Your amazing beauty discovered is a message for everyone to truly nurture treasure appreciate and love oneself. Our reflection in the mirror is a great marker of how we see ourselves and our true beauty and true appreciation is something we all need to appreciate .This is one of the real gifts that has been brought to everyone by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine as a reflection and inspiration and loving way to live.
I love this Shannon – that you now use looking in the mirror as a way to support yourself. Stunningly simple inspiration. Thank You.
Looking in the mirror for me has become a good check to see where I am at.
If I just see joy and beauty I know I am fine and connected with myself.
Should any doubt our dislike try to creep in, I instantly know that there is something to be looked at.
This is a great tool to use on a daily basis, even more than once a day, Michael. Thank you for the inspiration.
I had quite an aha moment in front of a mirror in a shop a couple of years ago now. I was trying on some pretty groovy and tight trousers, they had been suggested by the shop assistant and I was bit resistant with all kinds of ideas about why I couldn’t wear them: too old, legs too thin, they were too sexy, not my style etc etc. As I looked in the mirror all that dropped away and I simply saw what was there, me exactly as I was without an ounce of judgment or any other mental movement. It was a moment of complete self-acceptance and self-appreciation at the same time and yup I bought the trousers and some spell was broken that day – I didn’t have to be anything or look a certain way or hide any flaws I could just celebrate me. Incidentally I’ve enjoyed wearing the trousers heaps.
Nicole, it is true that once we start to pause and truly take note of ourselves when we look in the mirror it does not take long to see the beautiful being shining through. I love particularly to look into my own eyes as there is such a depth and beauty that reflects back to me which is timeless and true.
Stopping and truly taking note of ourselves in the mirror can certainly be revealing. It can offer us an honest place to start with having a real relationship with ourselves. A relationship that is not just skin deep but one that comes from the depth within us.
Great point Robynjones which breaks the common notion that mirrors are only there for the more superficial aspects of ourselves. I remember as a child being fed the idea that mirrors were to do with vanity (which was ‘bad’) and therefore one shouldn’t spend too much time in front of them!
‘ I was hurt because I had been hiding this awesome reflection…..what I was looking at was not me and it hurt’ Wow. This hit home. A deeply profound blog. My relationship with me and my mirror has just gone to a new level of awareness, respect and opportunity. Thank you.
This is really supportive to read Nicole! I have a slightly different relationship to mirrors, but in essence I do a similar thing. Instead of just glancing at a shadow when I walk past one, I stop, turn and evaluate my face inside out and carefully pick out all the flaws that I see. This can range from spots, to oily skin, messy eyebrows, bad makeup, pointy nose, chubby cheeks and even that my pupils are too small and I look kinda crazy. Seems pretty unrealistic (which it definitely is) but it’s exactly what happens when I don’t appreciate myself and compare to the ‘perfect woman’ image I’ve created in my mind. Pretty horrible. I’m doing this less and less, and I realise that I do have the choice to NOT do this and do something different – i.e. look in the mirror and choose features I do love to name and appreciate.
Yes Alisonmoir, looking in the mirror to see a reflection of who we truly are first, and not just to check hair, makeup and clothing is key. It is my eyes I find that offer that… if I just use them to look and assess the outer appearance, then I miss the real essence of me in the appraisal.
A Beautiful Letter of true appreciation of you and the amazingness that has always been there but the difference being it is all allowed out for the world to see. There was so much realised in your comment – ‘The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me’. The majority of the population in this Glorious world are holding back – How amazing if we all allowed ourselves to shine – what a world it would be.
Nicole I loved your blog thank you, what you’ve shared is so true. Up until earlier this year…so some 50 years into my life, I always had a very subtle lingering feeling that it wasn’t ok to ‘like your own reflection’. That this meant you were ‘up yourself’ or ‘vain’. Following a presentation by Natalie Benhayon at one of the Universal Medicine Retreats, that little corker got exposed and cracked. Inherent in this was permission to love my reflection… which I notice I now do unashamedly, and if I don’t, is always reflective of something l’m carrying about myself that is not true. It’s now an amazing marker of how I am in relationship to myself… the most important one to start the day with I find.
So true Fiona, during childhood we are so often told never to appreciate ourselves – be it publicly or in private. Instead we should always strive to become even better.
Seeing people who do not hide the appreciation for themselves is so very healing as one can realize the power appreciation has and that is has nothing to do with arrogance or false pride, but is just a joy expressing all somebody is.
I used to avoid my reflection in public places for fear of not wanting to be seen as vain. I had a fear of being vain and I associated mirrors with vanity. When in public I would cast a quick glance at myself but nothing more or try and sneak a glance at my reflection in a shop window. I am much less sneaky about it now. I also enjoy seeing other women enjoy their reflection. Watching others appreciate their beauty in a gorgeous thing. But not as gorgeous as appreciating my own reflection.
Your comment Nikki has reminded me of how I used to enjoy sitting in front of the mirror playing with different hairstyles when I was a teenager. I could be there for hours just enjoying being with me and experimenting. I also very much enjoyed looking a myself in the mirror… but I was told repeatedly that I was being vain and I allowed this lie to impact on my relationship with the mirror and I started to do what you have described and just have quick glances so I wouldn’t get criticised for being vain. What a tragedy it is to corrupt this innocent way of being with ourselves. Thankfully I am coming back to my former, unclouded relationship with myself and the mirror, and am once again enjoying seeing myself in the mirror… pausing (sometimes for awhile) to soak in all the glory and gorgeousness I see in the mirror again.
That’s gorgeous Robyn. When we look at ourselves with appreciation how can it be vain? If we take the self out of it, we realise that we are looking at God’s creation. I didn’t make this gorgeous body. I am responsible for how I live, how I take care of it and what I allow into my body (including energetically). If I get myself out of the way, when I look in the mirror I see a creation of God. Thats is incredible to look at.
For 7 years I didn’t have a mirror to look in, just a very small one in the bathroom, I didn’t have any real idea of what I was wearing, how I looked anything. Then at a Esoteric women’s group someone said something about looking in the mirror and I remember thinking I never do that look at myself in the mirror. I realised it was a case of me not wanting to see the reflection coming back to me so began a process of taking more care with myself and loving so that when I did look in the mirror I actually could start to appreciate the quality I was living in. Now I love looking in the mirror taking the time to put my make up on. It’s awesome.
Where and when did we lose it?: “what can be observed when a child looks at themselves in the
mirror… you can see the way they admire and adore themselves with each and every glance.”
I also see that children many times look at themselves with true curiosity, like it is the first time they see themselves, so curious and appreciative, not an ounce of judgement or criticism.
Yes I remember babysitting once and the child continually looked at themselves in the mirror. I remember being a bit thrown by it – and if I am honest thinking they are quite vain and need to ‘get over themselves’. Fast forward 8 years and now I think I would join them and we could spend time appreciating ourselves because I realise it was not in vanity the child was doing that, they just thought they rocked! I see that when children watch videos of themselves – they adore it. Look at me here, isn’t that bit funny – aren’t I great here. We need more of this. For sure. Appreciate who we are and each other. That’s the answer.
Yes we need more of that, everyone. Appreciation and even adoration, so now it´s having a look at what is in the way of me adoring myself and getting rid of it. Whatever it is, disorder, chaos, raciness, insecurity, thoughts, habits…getting rid of all that so that more and more each day I can look in the mirror and absolutely love what I see and feel.
Serge has said that you either harm or heal and from that comment from that relative you can see that it had a harming affect on you. But your blog also shows that we always have the opportunity to heal and I loved reading how you reclaimed that and now use looking at the mirror as a way of supporting yourself now.
Could there be anything more beautiful than watching a woman begin the process of loving herself? There is such a joy in me reading this, and the beauty felt of a woman who is starting to love herself is massive. So, so beautiful.
All so true Nicole. When I look in the mirror my eyes dart harshly to my hips and mid area, i’ll either think ‘Oh I look slim today’ or quite the opposite. I have now been intently looking into my own eyes when I see my reflection and this instantly softens me and I melt into the who I am. Pretty cool. This blog is a reminder for me to deepen that and not shy away when I sometimes feel ‘woah, can I be this gorgeous’, absolutely!
A while ago I noticed I was doing a similar thing – alway looking with judgement and looking at areas that I wanted to change. I put myself on a training program and when I would look in the mirror I would make sure that I looked at what I liked about myself. Over time this had a big impact. I stopped looking at my body harshly and with judgement and my appreciation of my body grew and grew. I now love my body and have a huge appreciation for it. I love this next step of looking past the body and to me. I do it sometimes but it is not a regular practice. And I love what you say Rachael about not shying away from how gorgeous we can be. If I can learn to accept and allow the grandness of my beauty, then perhaps I won’t hold it back as much.
This line stood out for me – I did not stop to consider the amazing beauty I had concealed from myself and the world. My amazing beauty will be appreciated from today more than ever before thanks to this blog. I can’t wait to find a mirror!
This blog and the comments are so inspiring, I am now going to start appreciating my beautiful self in a whole new way. Thank you everyone for sharing.
“The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.” Such a deeply humbling and exposing statement, Nicole. Thank you.
That statement also grabbed my attention, it is quite powerful
Thanks Nicole for this blog- you have a way of writing and sharing your experiences that makes it easy to understand and consider topics that can be confronting. I too can avoid real-ly looking at my reflection with connection and even not make eye contact with myself – as you say – it is looking without seeing. What is great about this is looking in a mirror is something we already do, most likely at least once a day and it can simply be done with more presence- it takes no more time to look with connection than it does to look with glazed eyes.
This is a great point that I can relate to a lot. When I consider it how often have I looked at myself in the mirror functionally but not really seen myself or connected to my essence. If we really stop and look into someone’s eyes or truly observe their face or posture (including our own) we can get a clear feeling of how they are feeling. There is a raw honesty in that. Maybe that is what we avoid wanting to see in the mirror and so we make it about functional things e.g. clothes, hair, weight etc to escape this responsibility we have to ourselves as you describe Nicole?
The responsibility of true observation is exactly what we are avoiding when we only look for the shadow of our own reflection and in the reflection of others. Well said Andrew.
I loved too, how you brought it back to the child that looks in the mirror, what a great reflection to be naturally appreciative. I will connect to it and even after making adjustment how I look in the mirror in rereading your blog it inspires me again to connect deeper when I look at me…how easily you can get caught into the outside instead of keeping the connection to the inside.
True steffihenn … it is easy to get caught in the externals, and I find I have to consciously choose to take the time to look deeper and connect to beauty within.
This was so much fun to read, Nicole – sweet inspiration for making a simple choice to open up, appreciate and commit to our natural beauty. My relationship with mirrors has been a fraught one over the years! Avoidance and cursory, critical glances being the norm.
I do take time to really look these days and in so doing spot immediately if there is any disdain or disregard in my ‘attitude’ towards me. With the support of Universal Medicine I am swift to ‘kick this into touch’ and see beyond the physical, to the brightness of my eyes and the joy and delicateness I feel about being a woman; in other words my true beauty, which emanates endlessly from within out.
Nicole, you say ‘living a shadow of who I truly am hurts more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me’. Actually, no-one can hurt us, we are responsible for our hurts – we choose to be hurt. And this is why we feel so sad because we know we made those choices for so long and delayed the joy of being ourselves and of being a true reflection for others so that they too can be themselves.
I used to look at my image in the mirror a lot but it usually was accompanied with judgment or some comparison with another image in my mind of someone else. Occasionally I would see the real me and it was a stop moment as I felt the beauty emanating from me. Living in the bush without any mirrors helped me let go of my preoccupation with how I looked and when I did see my image again I saw it as a reflection of how I felt within and I was not so caught in the image. I realized that I was still getting a reflection, not from the external mirror, but from the people I lived with, especially the children who provided a very honest refection of where was at.
What a great pause you have offered here Nicole – how often we look but rarely do we see the beauty we try so hard to mask from the world. The mirror will always show us how we feel and not how in truth we look. What you are presenting here is a way to be with ourselves, that like a child, allows this natural grace and beauty to ooze forth uninhibited. A beauty we unashamedly once shared with the world when we were young but due to layers of inhibitions, insecurities, doubts, fears and self-loathing, we have often as an adult kept it ‘behind closed doors’. By meeting ourselves in the mirror and appreciating what is already there, we give ourselves permission to share this with the world once more. For it is by meeting ourselves first, that we trust another to meet us also. Thank you.
Your words Liane are exquisite as is your intention, “it is by meeting ourselves first, that we trust another to meet us also”. Thank you.
Beautiful words indeed. By meeting ourselves first we are also allowing ourselves out so that others may meet us.
Beautifully expressed Liane. ‘By meeting ourselves in the mirror and appreciating what is already there, we give our selves permission to share this with the world once more’. I’ll take those words with me to the mirror.
Nicole, it’s lovely to read how you are now appreciating the ‘true reflection of glorious me’. It’s there for all of us to see if we can look beyond the façade to what is always there beneath the image we spend so much effort to create. And Serge Benhayon is a very clear mirror who offers us this true reflection every time we look in his eyes or are in his presence. The question is, can I receive it?
This is lovely Nicole: “With the hurts falling away and the real me shining through, why would I not want to stop, and looking in a mirror, see a true reflection of glorious me.” In the past I would have labelled this as arrogant but I’m realising the importance of bringing appreciation to ourselves.
This is great. On the one hand we celebrate and encourage children to feel wonderful about themselves, yet when it comes to ourselves or other adults there is so much judgment and suspicion if we do this, and a collective cutting down at times. Yet we know we feel bad and when the steps are taken to simply feel great about ourselves we don’t allow it. Life is made so complicated and it doesn’t have to be.
So true Annie, I can totally relate to what you have shared. Appreciating ourselves in the mirror allows us to build the value we feel for ourselves and as a consequence build the appreciation we feel for others. Why would we ever consider this arrogant? It just goes to show the tricks we can play on ourselves and how backwards we sometimes have it.
Nicole, this is such a gem and a great question, ‘how do we look in the mirror’ – reading it I could feel a discomfort as I realised that what I don’t like seeing when I look in the mirror is how it can show me how I’m not being me, how that hurts, that’s such a great reflection to understand, that we can hurt ourselves more than the world can by just not being us.
I agree Monica, it hurts to not be the love we so naturally are.
I have started to truly see, A women who is looking back at me, With a smile full of divine grace
and a walk of power and strength in pace.
Nicole I love your blog and it makes me feel like the process that I am starting to go through with the mirror and looking at my own reflection, is something you have already experienced. I am starting to also see this amazing women looking back at me and I am amazed at how I haven’t seen this in the mirror before.
To see the difference in the way I hold my body and even hold the muscles in my face when I am affected, distracted, worried or stuck in a mental process is quite a shock because I can look like a completely different person; a distinct and dramatically different reflection than when I am present and with myself. I also can detect this difference in others as well. Seeing this, I have no doubt that there are two options to choose from and that the choice is to be with yourself or against yourself.
I have noticed in myself too the fact that I can look into a mirror and not even connect with my eyes, just glazing over how I might look in the sense of how I have dressed and if anything is out of place (hair, makeup, clothes…). But when I do bring in the direct look in my eyes, it is like I am checking to see how I am, really asking myself how I am feeling. And at this point I cannot as easily glaze over, but get to really look and see me. It is the difference between looking and not seeing OR looking and meeting myself – one is cold the other is warm; one is functional, the other is supporting and allowing. It makes a huge difference to how I then am after the mirror encounter too and how much I appreciate me. The scary thing is that this is often what we carry out into the world too – how much do we just glaze over the person who we have just encountered? Or do we really look them in the eyes and take it all in? Thanks Nicole for bringing up this ‘reflection’.
Hi Shannon I can relate to not being able to look at myself in the mirror in a public place especially in a crowded ladies room. When I was young I can recall playing in front of a mirror without any self consciousness whatsoever but then I recall being told that I was vain and that vanity was one of the worst possible sins. I haven’t quite cracked this imposition in a crowded ladies room but I am working on it.
Beautiful Sara, an inspiring comment, thank you for reminding me to take that extra moment to look into my own eyes and see my beauty and who I truly am.
Nicole, I just love the way you have used a childs innocent and natural adoration of themselves as an example of how we need to see ourselves – that it is a re-connection to what we already are and already know. Children know they are precious.
Yes this stopped me in my tracks too, Eva. Firstly because I work with children and often see this sweet, deep acceptance of their preciousness. I also most potently remember a time when this was my totally natural expression and care of myself. And although I learnt early on that out in the world this was perceived as vanity, it is exquisite to return to it, knowing its naturalness and knowing that so far from vanity it is true self care, a quality so deeply essential and critically part of our responsibility as we go about our daily lives.
Just reading the word ’vanity’ in your comment Matilda, made me realise what a strong hold this has had on me – it feels like there has been a lot of shame related to adoring and looking at myself from an early age.
Nicole, thank you for your sharing; it is very revealing and gives me quite a bit to ponder on. I have come a long way too, from avoiding mirrors or, like you, not being comfortable with anybody seeing me, or looking at myself. But there is still more of myself to let out, and to lovingly accept. Very inspiring Nicole.
These words inspire me to take a deeper and closer look in the mirror next time, “just a commitment to allowing myself to connect to, live and express me.
I now live each day appreciating the woman I am, continuing my expansion of self for all the world to see.
With the hurts falling away and the real me shining through, why would I not want to stop, and looking in a mirror, see a true reflection of glorious me.”
Thank you Nicole for your insightful blog. To be able to look into my own eyes in a mirror and appreciate my own beauty is a major break through for me and it is Universal Medicine I have to thank as through sessions, presentations and workshops I have been inspired to reconnect with myself on such a deep level that I now know this beauty to be my very essence.
This is beautiful Kathleen, I love feeling a woman celebrating herself. My heart always wants to join in on that party!
I can feel the joy you now experience of living a true and loving relationship with yourself. Fantastic! Recently i’ve began this process – just before I go to bed I have been stopping and looking at myself in the mirror and see myself glowing back, it’s like I’ve just noticed that I am there and I stop and say, ‘you are absolutely gorgeous.’ To build on this is such a joyful, playful and life changing experience. Thank you indeed to Serge Benhayon.
The time in the morning putting my makeup on is very valuable as when I am looking in the mirror, my response indicates to me how I am. If I love what I feel is being reflected back to me I know I am connected. If I feel ugly then I know I am not with myself and need to get back to me.
I love both of your comments above, marylouisemyers, thank you. Appreciating transformative moments when we can ‘strut our stuff’ in full acceptance and celebration of ourselves and our bodies AND taking responsibility for what we are being shown in how we perceive ourselves in any given moment: with love or disdain. My work with Universal Medicine has meant that I am open to taking the responsibility of this awareness at the same time as knowing what to do when my feedback to me is judgmental and critical (simply stop and afford myself the grace to come back to the quiet within that holds me and my true, exquisite nature).
My mirror always shows me where I am with myself based on my response to my reflection. I have so much to show myself when I really look at me in the mirror. This simple act reveals so much and by just connecting to myself with my eyes I can really feel what is truly going on for me and make my way back to adoring myself again. It’s confronting at times, but taking time to connect deeply to me in the mirror is really lovely, revealing, and so supportive. I also see so much that is truly beautiful about me and I can pause, savour that moment and appreciate me in a whole new way. I must get more mirrors! They are tools of healing and of celebration. 🙂
I can so relate to your blog Nicole, It reminded me of a time I went bra and under pant shopping. I tried on a matching green set, when I looked in the mirror I really took in my whole being and body. I felt and saw how beautiful and delicate I am. I was so blown away by myself that I strutted my stuff in front of the mirror for a while deeply admiring and appreciating me. This moment changed my relationship with myself and my body.
I feel quite inspired after reading this blog, thank you.
Although I have always had a problem with looking at myself because of my very ingrained self rejection, I have noticed with great joy, that now there are times I surprise myself by appreciating myself in the mirror. The other day I was busy at home and passed by the mirror, and it started like a glance, but then I stopped, as I really appreciated the depth and shine of my eyes, and it was not a particularly easy or joyful day at all, I had had quite a shaking, but still I loved the reflection in the mirror, I could still feel the beauty.
A mirror reflects how we have been living, and I can see the choices I have made when I see my reflection in the mirror. Its so amazing. Sometimes I am struck at just how gorgeous and amazing I look (and feel) and sometimes I am purely stunned at how ‘not me’ I look. When I feel amazing I most certainly look it too.
This is so true Harry, that what we are seeing in the mirror is a reflection of the choices we have made. Though I am an older person, I can look amazingly young on a day when I am connected to me and feeling joyful and flowing.
I totally agree with what you say here Sandra, I too can look amazingly young on a day when I am connected to me and feeling joyful and flowing
The ‘mirror never lies’ as they say and it does indeed reflect everything we have been living up till that point in time. The crucial thing is how open we are to that reflection and how much we re-interpret what we are being shown.
Children have this natural curiosity with themselves when they look in the mirror at their reflection. They don’t look around to see who is watching, they just naturally allow their own gorgeous expression to come through. Being around children can tend to bring that playful, expressive part, out of you.
“With the hurts falling away and the real me shining through, why would I not want to stop, and looking in a mirror, see a true reflection of glorious me..” This is beautiful Nicole. Only last week we were asked – during a presentation – how many times we looked in a mirror a day. I replied twice. On re-reading your blog I realise how I have still become stuck in my old belief systems about myself. Last week’s question and re – reading your blog today has shifted the pattern I was still carrying around unnecessarily. Today I shall stop and look in the mirror more than twice – and see the true me – shining and beautiful, reflecting this out to all.
Thank you for you honest sharing Shannon and just highlights what happens and how things affect us when we take on other people’s stuff.
So playful Sara, I love what you share here and yep I have the same feeling as you; ‘ when I look into my own eyes these days, I seriously fall in love’.
I can relate to everything you share Nicole, in the past when I looked in a mirror, I got a real sense of not liking what was reflecting back at me, so it was easy to just look at the clothes I was trying on, than face the truth of the reflection. Four years on, now when I look in the mirror, I am no longer afraid to look at me, and am always drawn to my eyes and see the light that now shines there.
There is a mirror in my bathroom, in my bedroom, in my hallway, there are plenty of mirrors in my house but how often do I take a truly intimate moment with myself in the mirror? I do a precursory glance noting perhaps something, and sometimes even liking what I see but, from your blog, I am feeling to take a little more time to stop and connect with myself as I am faced with the opportunity to truly see myself in more depth without judgement or criticism and to play, as a child, in freedom and innocence.
I love how you shared that children look in the mirror totally adoring themselves and it is true! I am starting to do this with myself more and more too as I am accepting more of how beautiful I truly am.
I love being reminded of this too, as children seem to be amazed by their own reflection. It’s like they cannot get enough of it.
I can very much relate to this Shannon, not wanting anyone in a public toilet to notice that I am looking at myself in the mirror. And like you I have become more honouring in giving myself permission to do it, allowing others to notice that I admire myself.
Looking into my eyes in the mirror is confirming of myself, I cannot deny the joyful light from deep within. Once I’ve checked with my eyes then the other details of my face, like the signs of aging, are not the focus, just part of me, and totally okay.
Thank you for sharing your process Nicole “So the process unfolded on many levels, keeping it simple to start with and taking time to actually look at myself when I was in front of the mirror. Not unlike what can be observed when a child looks at themselves in the mirror… you can see the way they admire and adore themselves with each and every glance.” Simply beautiful and beautifully simple.
So true Tamara – super simple and super beautiful!
I can relate Nicole to looking in the mirror and admiring the clothes, but not really looking beyond to truly see me and appreciate me. I felt the stigma that can often be associated with looking at oneself in the mirror as being vain and although as a little girl I loved adoring myself by looking in the mirror, I always felt guilty about this, thinking that something was wrong with me and I was vain. In hindsight, I wasn’t really vain, I was just enjoying the amazingness of what I saw, that is me. It has taken some time to come back to really allowing myself to enjoy looking at myself in the mirror and feeling that it is more than OK to adore the beauty of the woman that I see looking back at me.
And a double ouch when reading “The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.” This really nails the truth of it.
Ouch Nicole! When I read your example “when trying on clothes I never looked at myself but looked at and admired the clothes I was trying on – never once stopping to admire the person that was wearing the clothes. The body and person under the clothes were just that… there was no appreciation or connection to me, just an observation of the reflection of what I saw in the mirror.” I realised that’s exactly what I do and am still doing that! Thank you so much for bringing my awareness to this – it’s a big one!
This can be quite a confronting blog – simply stating “This is the truth, this is how I do it” and the reader can make their own choice whether to accept this truth. The blog doesn’t bridge or make excuses, it simply is.
I have always avoided looking at myself in a mirror; I even built a house with no mirrors. If I saw a photo of myself I was always surprised. “Is that what I look like?” A couple of years ago I was challenged to look at myself in the mirror and found I was looking back at myself with suspicion, trepidation, and cold seriousness. This is what I am presenting to the world no wonder people treat me at a distance. I did not want to see the truth of how I was feeling written all over my face; I also did not want to take responsibility for how I looked to the world. Looking back it was rather silly. Now I appreciate the honesty of my reflection. Thank you Nicole.
Isn’t it very curious that we are often surprised at our own reflection in the mirror? And yet it is ourselves who we live with every day that we are seeing in the mirror and so why would it seem like such a stranger? Perhaps this has to do with how honest we are or how aware we are choosing to be about how we are feeling every day?
It’s such an eye opener to see we start as little kids fascinated by our reflection, to avoiding even looking in the mirror apart from a body scan to check overall we are in order. Where do we fall out of Love with our reflection? It’s the face the world sees , so we are only hiding our reflection from ourselves, we are our own worst enemy at self criticism and judgment. Bringing myself back to Loving my true reflection, appreciating my essence to reveal the woman I am and having a fun relationship with me and let the world see me shine… No more hiding!
What an inspiration you are Nicole! I will re read this blog again and again. You offer something so practical and real to the world and inspire me to appreciate how much the world needs the likes of you, me and all of us to reconnect to our true expressions of the love we are. Keep writing!
Beautifully expressed Brendan. Calling out the ways we are living that are not in accordance with the equal love inside of us offers us a fresh start to make choices that will reflect this innate love.
Thank you Nicole, I really loved your blog and all the comments that followed. I am still smiling. I have a number of mirrors in my home, which my friend pointed out the other day, I was so surprised,and it brought me back to realise that the only one I look into, is in the bathroom. I had been getting used to looking at myself, just briefly, but lately had forgotten to do this, so great to have the reminder to look into my eyes, and enjoy my own beauty shining out.
Hi Nicole I very much relate to what you are saying. When I was younger I did not like what I saw in the mirror but these days I absolutely love it and love to look at myself!
I looked at myself in the mirror this morning and while I walked away I said to myself: wow, I look really beautiful. It is these moments, intimate moments with ourselves, that are so important. Every day should have moments like this, where we cherish, adore, love and appreciate ourselves.
Ariana what a ripple effect your profound and fiery comment has for us all. Your deep appreciation of the love and gorgeousness you feel for yourself cannot but inspire and fire us all up with the awareness that if you can care for yourself in such a way that allows you to feel this divine way, then so can we.
Inspired by your blog and Natalie Benhayon speaking at a retreat, I am enjoying looking into my eyes with love and a smile. Thank you Nicole.
Very inspiring Nicole. I love how you describe the way kids look in the mirror.. they totally admire themselves. I will be checking to see if I am doing the same from now on! Thank you for sharing this experience with us, it feels like a very important part of our relationship with ourselves, seeing and knowing how absolutely gorgeous we are.
Thank you Nicole. As I read your beautiful words memories resurfaced of the years I spent working in clothing shops. I was surrounded by mirrors all day every day and I remember feeling like I was in a mirror torture chamber.
It felt awful to be confronted with my own reflection and many others expressed the same. The mirrors in the store felt like they were full of the self loathing of many thousands of women not living true to themselves and allowing their natural beauty out. I can absolutely feel what an incredible difference it makes to gaze at your own reflection with nothing but love.
Just gorgeous Nicole, I love this line “I now live each day appreciating the woman I am, continuing my expansion of self for all the world to see.”
Having just attended the Lennox Head Retreat (in April 2015), we are all (yes, men and women and young and old) going to get more mirrors, aren’t we? The only question is how many!?
Your blog Nicole is quite inspiring to take the time to linger longer and get a feel for what I see looking back at me. It’s not something I have really done much of – looking in the mirror at myself to feel my connection or to appreciate my beauty. Mostly it is for a practical reason to look in the mirror. Considering this idea, it brings up feelings from the past of vanity & being uncomfortable to look in the mirror to admire myself. I look forward to what comes up next when looking in the mirror. Thank you for sharing your experience Nicole.
An amazing blog Nicole. I can feel that the way I have been looking in the mirror has been very functional. I have a new perspective for looking at my reflection in the mirror now and look forward to unfolding a new appreciation for myself.
Letting the glorious woman shine out is a sight to behold.
Beautiful blog Nicole, I have experienced a time in which I was always criticising myself when looking in the mirror, not truly seeing who I am but only looking at what I thought made me less than anybody else. But now when I see myself I think, what an awesome man!
Nicole, you’re commitment to self and appreciation for your own beauty is very palpable. Thank you for being the amazing you and sharing it with the world.
A truly beautiful article just lovely.
I would avoid looking in the mirror, especially a full length one. I now begin to see the true women that is reflected back to me, although often I can get caught up in the what is not so great. These days I am clocking this and realise this doesn’t serve me, or anyone else, so instead appreciate what I can see – that is the inner beauty that we all have.
Nicole I too would look at myself in the mirror but not truly receive and see the really beauty and essence I held within. I am now starting to change this long held pattern and truly appreciate and accept me for me.
Thank you Nicole for your beautiful expression and reflection.
I loved reading this blog Nicole, it is for women and men of all ages. For me as an older woman, I am inspired to keep deepening my connection to myself, with moments in front of the mirror, seeing who I truly am when I look deeply into my eyes.
Nicole what a beautiful post, it had me smiling all the way. So true about the baby and the way they stare – with wonderment – at themselves, fascinated and curious by what they see. I love watching them do this too, the ease with which they are with themselves, and gentleness they hold in the body, it’s very honouring to feel this quality that they reflect back to us as adults. They are our ‘mirror’. We are theirs.
Imagine this article in “ Hello” or “Women’s Day”. Possibly underneath one of the fashion show photographic shoots. Imagine women everywhere being given the opportunity to feel the truth in this article, and to start to feel what will be like to let go of the hurts and to feel who they truly were. What a gift this would be.
‘With the hurts falling away and the real me shining through, why would I not want to stop, and looking in a mirror, see a true reflection of glorious me.’ It is great to have those stop moments to confirm who we truly are and how we shine from inside out. It amazes me how much joy I can have seeing my reflection in a mirror.
Nicole it’s so true what you have shared about taking a moment to deeply appreciate our true reflection. Just at work yesterday, I enjoyed one of those moments as I felt beautiful I am as a 54 year old woman. This was something I felt from inside of me and at times blows me away that I can feel like that after years of hating the way I looked. Like you the support of Serge as well as Natalie Benhayon has been instrumental is this turn around.
Glorious Nicole. I love all that you’ve shared and its realness…
I’ve also found a ‘changing relationship’ with my reflection, and my approach to it… These days I allow a pause, to acknowledge ‘me’ – this always begins with looking deeply into my own eyes.
I’ll most surely be appreciating more and more of me each time I look in the mirror all the more from reading this beautiful blog.
Thank you Nicole, as you say the process of ‘true transformation’ becomes apart of self–love, self–nurturing and embracing the true essence of the real person inside. That reflection becomes one that feels like the true me and is felt by others as a true inspiration, exactly the same as the presentations of Serge Benhayon have inspired so many.
Wow Nicole I feel so inspired by your words and could feel your beauty shining through them. I too have been someone who avoids mirrors, really not wanting to see what was reflected back, but what you have expressed has me feeling it might be time to begin to look deeper. There is so much beauty within us and I have noticed that the times I do sit and really see myself I am often blown away by what I see. I feel taking this time for ourselves, really appreciating who we are could, as you’ve experienced, make a great difference to how we live and express ourselves in life.
Rereading this blog was much fun- Since the first read I was taking my focus to how I look in the mirror and it changed. I stop more now and really look in my eyes and not what doesn’t look perfect that day. It’s still a developement and I am looking forward to read the blog for the third time and share my experience.
Thank you Nicole, I can feel the importance of having a true reflection and as this blog unfolded for me I also felt that the true importance of our forever deepening connection to self! By self I mean that which is our inner most, the love that is naturally within us all equally. So for me it has become a choice to not just look into the mirror to see a visual reflection, but to also look into my inner heart and see where I am holding back love. I feel blessed to have attended the presentations of Serge Benhayon. Serge has provided the inspiration for me to have a Livingness so that I can feel my connection to love.
Dear Nicole,
I love how you explain that it hurt to look in the mirror and see there the sadness of not living you. I too know that feeling. It truly is amazing how we pull away more and more from ourselves, wanting to protect ourselves from the hurt that others do to us. Yet the hurt of not living us in full is far greater than any hurt another can do to us. As I live each day this truth is being revealed to me more and more. My body immediately feels sore when I pull away from it. This reality for me is my barometer, truly supporting me in each moment to be the full, open loving woman I am.
A great article Nicole. I too have often in the past not looked in the mirror to truly appreciate who I am, but rather to see if I look OK to face the world, or to ask if my mask is sitting right so as to only show people what I want to show them. Your writing opens us up to how important it is to truly accept myself and appreciate where I am at and how far I have come.
This is a great reminder to use the mirror to truly look and appreciate ourselves for, as you so beautifully wrote, “The pain of living in the shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.”
Thank you Nicole.
“The pain of living in the shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.” I agree Peter, this is a powerful sentence in this blog. It is so strange how we spend our life hurting ourselves and therefore others, forever fooling ourselves that we are protecting ourselves from being hurt in the first place.
Thank you Nicole, a wake up call to self-nurture and to bring a deeper level of awareness that I require to self-nurture. The Inspirational living of Serge Benhayon is forever unfolding to me, so as a student my evolution becomes of my own making.
This is so relevant to me Nicole as I have (at 42yo late bloomer) just started appreciating and accepting how incredible I am and enjoy seeing this in my reflection, instead of using the mirror to check that all the things I wanted to hide from the world were all in place.
Until not too long ago, I realised that I have always used a mirror to highlight what is wrong and to confirm that I was not enough and had more work to do. I was totally sold out to the idea of perfection…not overtly, because I didn’t doll myself up or anything like that…but there was this underlying idea about how my skin, my body, my weight, my hair should be in order for me to feel ok about myself. Now I can feel how much tension this was creating just in every day life! Since building an inner relationship with myself, looking in the mirror is more often a joy, sometimes I even find myself doing another lap of the house to get back to the mirror. Yet also, when I’m not feeling so great, my reflection is simply an opportunity to ask myself ‘what is going on…you don’t seem yourself today?’…rather than the all to familiar berating, which is such a welcome and much more loving change.
I used to look in the mirror to look for the things that were not right with me, the flaws, so I could work out how to fix or conceal them.It took me a long time to be able to look into the mirror without seeing all theses things first. While I can’t say that I still don’t notice them, it is not all the time and the times I do are an opportunity to stop and ask myself what happened. What happened to my connection and self love that I do not see how beautiful I am first? The mirror has become a great gauge for me now as to how I am truly feeling about myself.
You made me ask myself how many times have I looked in the mirror not admiring and adoring myself – looking at the clothes and what I saw in the mirror, but not the person under the clothes with appreciation and connection. It has been like that for so long, or even worse as totally disliking what I saw, that when I started to feel lovely and connected when looking at myself in the mirror, I was so shocked that I had to share it with my friends! – “you know, I love the way I feel when I’m looking the mirror, I like it” – It is new, it is great, and I feel grateful.
Thank you Nicole, looking in the mirror has been a great learning for me too. I noticed that I do not like to look in the mirror on days or moments that I do not feel so good about myself, it is like I then see all the ugly feelings inside. I now take extra notice on when I feel like that, because I know I am deeply beautiful inside, and then have a little longer stare in my beautiful eyes which most of the time melts away the harsh feelings I had about myself and I am able to see and feel my true beauty again. Mirrors are such miraculous things.
Hi Nicole. Awesome blog.
Bringing our beauty in its FULLNESS out to be felt and seen is sometimes uncomfortable, at first, because we have been hiding in the shadows for so long. But once we let go of the hurts and begin to step into the light then the DElight we get with seeing our magnificent eyes and what lies beneath them can be celebrated.
I love what you have written here Kathryn. You exposed something to me. I realised that I had thought I reached the stage of accepting my reflection, as you beautifully put… “seeing our magnificent eyes and what lies beneath them…” but that I am still shy to look fully and deeply into the mirror in a crowded ladies room. I then realised that acceptance does not travel in parts, only in private and never in public, and although I have come a long way from self depreciation there is always further to come… the full celebration of “what lies beneath… our magnificent eyes”.
This blog would be true for so many people. I’ve noticed that the time I spend truly connecting to myself in the mirror really reflects where I am at with my relationship with myself – am I in acceptance of myself, appreciating and revelling in me? Or am I judging myself and rejecting who I am by focusing on small details, being critical, and squashing myself? A mirror is a great reminder to check in with the self and a wonderful tool for connection and appreciation.
Thank you Nicole. It can be very confronting to truly look in a mirror. Not something that I am comfortable with yet. I can see the increase in self acceptance and self love that is required to truly look in a mirror and appreciate the person looking back.
I love your sentence on the way a child looks in the mirror – it is so true and so inspiring to watch them look at themselves. When my son was a baby I had a mirror permanently on the floor and he would crawl over to it and spend hours looking at himself admiring what he saw. I used to look in the mirror and could only see what was “wrong”. I went in looking for what I didn’t like. I have slowly been able to shift that but the focus is still on my body and not on me. A Universal Medicine practitioner I used to see often encouraged me to look in the mirror after I got off the table and I was always amazed to see what I truly looked like. I recently committed to self-appreciation and each night before bed I look at me in the mirror and appreciate myself. This has exposed how little I look in the mirror and actually see me.
I loved reading your blog Nicole, I am learning to appreciate me and express me more and more each day. To connect back to my beauty without judgement or comparison, to love and appreciate my reflection in the mirror.
….’The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me’. Wow!!! Thank you for sharing this Nicole and inspiring me to look at myself in the mirror in a whole different way.
Thank you Nicole, this inspires me to spend more time looking at Me in the mirror. Something so simple, yet overlooked all too often.
Thanks Nicole for your awesome sharing. I too went through a period of years of not being able to look at my reflection at all , I am only recently taking a good look and seeing a strong tender man who has aged but is shining bright with open heart, well worth the look.
A belief that said: looking at myself in the mirror = vanity = bad – stayed with me so long, and to look at myself in the mirror when there were other women around, used to bring up uncomfortable feelings. I can understand now it was not just about that belief, there was also undertone of comparison and the lack of self-worth played out in various behaviours and attitude of women standing in front of the mirror that was bringing the sense of awkwardness. When looking at myself in the mirror is experienced as connecting with myself and adoring the reflection, it is very different, and that I enjoy.
Years ago I only looked into the mirror to see if I was presentable to the world and I was never really that happy with what I would see, but these days I am having a different relationship with the mirror and am finding that taking the time to look into my own eyes is very powerful. I find that my thoughts can change from being disinterested to really engaging in no time. Thank you for the inspiration to do this more often.
Nicole, I love what you write about seeing yourself in the mirror, I really appreciate myself when I look into the mirror, and look in my beautiful eyes and feel me, within. I have noticed it is another story when I am in a shop and I am trying on new clothes or shoes and the shop assistant is watching me. I still tend to focus how the clothes or shoes are and not the complete reflection of the gorgeous me in it, but it is wonderful work in progress!
I feel inspired to make more time for looking in the mirror in the morning…thank you for the inspiration.
What a beautiful blog, Nicole. I love how you write: ‘I have been nurturing, embracing and loving the person I am – without any expectations or comparisons to another.’ I can relate to the last part especially. If I do things with a wish for a certain outcome – in this case to look more beautiful of more relaxed – it doesn’t work. There is a drive and a need under it, then influencing the whole process and it blocks the unfolding of myself. The same with comparison: if I try to nurture in comparison I start from a’ feeling less than another’ and this taints everything I do. Others can inspire me and it feels like a celebration of another woman, YOU in this case, in the sharing of her experience; this is such a inviting way for me to keep deepening my beauty and reflection.
Inspiring blog, I have from time to time caught sight of the beauty in my eyes for example but I have not really considered making a true connection with my reflection in the mirror. Thanks for the inspiration!
I have discovered looking in a mirror to enjoy a true reflection is gorgeous. When I am feeling good I can look at the loveliness of me as a confirmation of how I feel and I really enjoy my reflection. When I am not feeling good it’s quite unbelievable the self-criticism that can ensue! And what I realise is very simple, the feeling good or not feeling good comes from the choices I have made from the day.
To begin to truly meet ourselves in the mirror – how glorious is that.
Lovely blog. Never thought about when looking in a mirror, there were two sides one could see. The one that was the real me, being happy in myself, loving and a caring person.
The other side at times, feeling not so loving and caring. I have now started to love myself more and to see the real me in the mirror. The mirror now has only one side.
Your blog has opened a door for me, Nicole. I’m now realising that in a way I have grown accustomed to my sadness, the shadow of who I truly am and that I have found a strange beauty in that. Yet I feel you are right when you say you didn’t like what you saw because you could feel the hurt that came with it and that you were hiding behind it.
These are amazing words: “The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was, hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.” How true that we are our own greatest downfall and the mirror can only but reflect what we live. I have been a mirror gazer since a child, always fascinated by my own beauty and often wondered why others couldn’t see it! And though, on the surface I am ‘attractive’ and have had lots of attention in regards to that, it can’t hide the sadness of not feeling truly met and loved for the awesome gloriousness I am. And no wonder, when I have hidden it so well.
How incredible to finally begin taking responsibility and how beautiful the reflection truly is when we step out of our own shadow. Thank-you so much for writing this, Nicole.
I have had the experience of looking deep into my own eyes and feeling a sense of strength from within me, I couldn’t help but smile in that moment. This is completely different from what I have, for the majority of ‘mirror time’ focused on. I can now appreciate that by choice I can see past the dark circles under my eyes and focus on that depth from within my eyes. And this can be my new relationship with my ‘mirror time’.
Great blog Nicole, I love how you have presented that it is about appreciating ourselves that makes the difference when looking in the mirror, not “plastic surgery, wonder pills or diets”. One quote that stood out for me was “the pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me” – if this is so, then it means that there is no need to live in that ‘shadow’ any more.
Isn’t it amazing to take the time to stop and appreciate yourself. Similar to when taking the time to stop and gently breath, you can’t help but let go of any tension within. It becomes a celebration of you.
I love the simplicity of this article, your story inspires me to give my ‘self’ a moment, a moment to enjoy my reflection rather than the usual casual glance checking hair/makeup etc -thank you Nicole
Incredible how one comment can lead you on a journey of discovery and exploration. How an everyday household item with a specific purpose is not used as such. We manipulate what we have to suit us without realizing what we are doing.
It is a process to start to appreciate yourself and all that you are. Many people, if not most, have issues with looking at themselves, truly, in the mirror or at photographs of themselves. We have been taught to look for the ‘imperfections’, the ‘bits’ that are ‘wrong’, instead of looking deep into and at all the beauty that is there.
Thank you Nicole, for a beautiful and inspiring blog.
Beautiful blog Nicole and very inspiring. Only the other day I stood in front of the mirror and just looked at me, and mainly my eyes. It was probably only for about 30 seconds but felt a lifetime as I have never wanted to look that deep before. It felt great to appreciate me and how much I have changed. Thank you for sharing.
I love your comment Tim, and it is beautiful how, now you are appreciating you.
This is a very thought-provoking blog Nicole. As a man, I have to use the mirror
for shaving every morning and one has to be present as otherwise the consequences
don’t bear thinking about!
The image one sees is laterally inverted and thus not what the world sees.
It seems to me that this gives one a quiet moment of ‘true reflection’, in the internal sense.
Most of the time I’m only looking in the mirror to check I haven’t tucked my dress into my knickers. I have been inspired to take a longer deeper look at the woman I see looking back at me.
As you say, the key is what am I looking at? What the world might see? Or the true me? I thought I looked…but your blog has inspired me to take a longer, deeper look – thank you.
Elizabeth, Your experience of your mom being uncomfortable with you, as a child enjoying your reflection is powerful…we get told in so many ways ‘not to love ourselves’!
I have certainly felt the truth of the quote “The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.”
Now, we can make a different choice. SO helpful now that there are more examples around of a loving way to see and be with ourselves. Thank you Nicole! No longer will the world miss out on us!
Another great blog Nicole. I shall definitley remember this as I look in the mirror as I know that many a time (if not all the time) I am looking to see how I look to the world and not really to enjoy the beautiful reflection of ‘glorious me’. In fact I shall go and take a look right now. Thank you.
My first memory of mirror gazing was when I was about eight or nine and my Mum saying to me ” if you spend any more time in front of that mirror it will crack” When I grew up the only time I looked in a mirror was to check that all was in order with my appearance at the start of the day or when I was putting on make-up or drying my hair. Now a days I have found that since accepting and appreciating myself more I just love seeing my reflection in mirrors whether at home or when I am out shopping.. Thank you Nicole for inspiring me to reflect on my journey with mirrors.
This is amazing Nicole, what struck me is I don’t have any trouble seeing my beauty, but really, truly feeling it, and really truly appreciating it, I can feel is something I do not give enough importance too. It’s definitely time for some deeper appreciation!
“Not unlike what can be observed when a child looks at themselves in the mirror… you can see the way they admire and adore themselves with each and every glance.”
I love this sentence, it sums up the very essence of what you are talking about, and paints the picture very well. We have all seen a child study themselves before a mirror, it is beautiful and inquisitive. I will hold this picture for it is very joyful and playful too.
Yes the mirror is a great way to welcome more acceptance and appreciation of ourselves. it has especially shown me how serious i can be and just by staying with my reflection and allowing myself to express how i feel in the moment I lighten the supposed burdens I have given myself to carry and bring more light and playfullness with me into my day.
Thank you Nicole for writing this. This is a really important topic to write on as so many of us have an issue with how we look and accepting ourselves. The way we look or don’t look in the mirror is always a sign of how we view ourselves. I too have found that as I accept myself more I am able to be still in front of the mirror and not have as many negative thoughts. It’s interesting that if I have been down and hard on myself, when I look in the mirror I see many faults, whereas when I have been appreciating and enjoying who I am there’s a light that shines from me and a glow and I can only think “Wow” Let’s keep looking in the mirror.
“Not unlike what can be observed when a child looks at themselves in the mirror… you can see the way they admire and adore themselves with each and every glance.” we have so much to learn from young children, and they do love and adore themselves, so it is just a path of return for us all back to how we started out before we started covering up for what ever hurt or reason. Makes it all that much simpler somehow! Thanks again for this Nicole it was a great re read.
I Loved reading your article Nicole. In my experience the mirror can be my worst enemy when I am focusing only on imperfections and looks. Your article is an inspiration to look at myself differently in the mirror!
I agree Priscila, I have found it all too easy to focus on my flaws and imperfection rather than seeing the beauty staring back at me. Thank you Nicole for the inspiring article.
“I did not like what I saw – what I was looking at was not me and it hurt. The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.” Gosh. That has struck such a cord with me.
This is beautiful to read and inspiring how a mirror can be so revealing when we really stop and are open to feel what’s seen. In the past I too have used the mirror to check my clothes or hair never looking at the body inside. However now it is great to feel the reflection of what comes back and appreciate this can be a great support and marker. Thank you, Nicole.
A beautiful sharing Nicole!
Thank you Nicole, I love your blog. I have also started looking in the mirror and seeing my true beauty, sometimes I say wow because I look so beautiful. Previous to this I had only ever glanced in the mirror and didn’t like what I saw. Now admiring and appreciating myself in the mirror is part of my daily rhythm.
That’s a gorgeous blog Nicole, I didn’t have a mirror for 7 years! I remember when I first realised that I too never looked at myself it was about 2 and half years ago at one of the first women’s groups in London – someone talked about looking in the mirror, and I was perplexed as I suddenly thought I just NEVER do that. So like you I have slowly been getting to the deeper truth of why this was, and as you describe so beautifully it was that I didn’t want the reflection of what I was choosing, I wanted to remain oblivious. I too am very pleased to report I lovingly gaze on myself in the mornings to do my makeup at my dresser, with all my brushes and fun make up to support my expression. I love it, I love spending time with me in this way and deepening the quality of loving myself and appreciating myself. It’s definitely a road worth taking. I too a, deeply inspired by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine!
Awesome Nicole, and what a reflection to your clients, being able to look in the mirror and see your beauty, and therefore see it in them too – inspirational!
I love your blog Nicole. It brought back to me an event that occurred a few years ago. I was in the anguish of not dealing with an issue that had been there for eons for me to look at, and walking past a mirror I received a shock at what I saw. I stopped and looked into my own eyes and found myself saying out loud “I don’t even know who you are.” What was looking back at me was completely loveless. I made the choice that I didn’t want that person in my life and I haven’t seen them since. Looking in the mirror is now a great marker for how I really am.
Great point Doug – I’ve never spent much time appreciating myself, but in particular if I’m not doing well then I will avoid the mirror.. perhaps hoping that in some way I won’t see what I’m choosing. Nicole’s blog is a great reminder to develop a relationship with myself and the mirror provides such a simple reflection.
Looking at ourselves in the mirror also gives us a ‘stop’ moment in whatever we have been doing and provides an opportunity to deeply appreciate who we are. I usually take the time first thing in the day to feel and see where I’m at and definitely as I prepare for bed. I can now see there are more opportunities to create moments during the day to see me and what I am reflecting to the world rather than automatically walking past the mirror because the room is crowded, time is short and we’re all due back to class.
So awesome Nicole. I can totally relate. Since enjoying and appreciating my reflection in the mirror I have also realised that the superficial glances that I use to scan myself with, my clothes, my face with, were actually the way that I was looking at others in the street, at gatherings or get togethers. The more I enjoyed myself, my reflection and the glow that emanates from me deep within – the more I could truly look to others and see their absolute beauty. Truer connections.
Ahhh this is beautiful Nicole and a real inspiration to accept ourselves as we are. I shall take this with me next time I look in the mirror.
Nicole, this is Gold, I too have been practising the mirror thing and starting to truly embrace all that I see. Gazing into my own eyes, seeing the incredible tenderness and love is divine. I can totally relate to your statement… “The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.”
Holding ourselves unworthy of the greatness within us is the most painful hurt of all! Thank you for sharing this most inspiring blog.
This is truly awesome and very inspiring, Nicole. I have done not just years but decades of just glancing in the mirror and only recently have I made some minor adjustments. Your blog has inspired me to actually look, connect and appreciate and I am looking forward to how very revealing and great this will be.
Thank you for this reflection, Nicole (pun intended!) – you explained so simply why so many of us hate looking in the mirror (and, similarly, hate having our photos taken). I have taken to looking at myself in the mirror sometimes and saying “hello gorgeous” – and watch my eyes light up. It is so simple; yet so powerful. My students and I have done this in my (exercise) classes too – when something comes up in the class around self-esteem, I suggest it. It is amazing the resistance from many to do this – but, oh, the joy when they do!
Beautiful to read Nicole, thank you for your honesty. I am enjoying being able to really appreciate myself in the mirror more and more each day…. and just how far I have come in my own inner healing experience.
I love this reflection Nicole! What a way to appreciate ourselves and I too can feel myself being ‘caught in the mirror’ with a choice to appreciate or take a glance, Thank you.
A reflection it is Bernadette, enjoy your reflection next time you look at your amazing self.
Really beautifully shared Nicole, yes I to want to look deeper in the reflection of the mirror.
I am sure you will love and embrace all you see Natalie.
Hi Nicole, Thank for sharing with such honesty your development and growth in something so simple as looking in the mirror that most of us do daily.
Recently I had a moment of true reflection. I had taken a moment for myself to purchase some shoes. I found the perfect pair much faster than I had expected so I decided to try on some clothes. In the past and as you shared, I have dreaded change rooms. I found the mirrors so large and confronting and it was the perfect situation for me to obsess and become critical about all the things I thought were “wrong” or “ugly” about my body. But this experience was so different. I loved looking at my body – every little bit! Even though some of the clothes didn’t fit me – I didn’t start going into the old “I’m so fat” story of my past, grabbing handfuls of my belly feeling disgusted and angry at myself – I just enjoyed every moment of being there being able to look at myself in appreciation of the care and love I now held for myself. I loved the big mirrors! And I actually stood in the change room with tears of joy, enjoying the clarity and truth in my eyes, and in my body.
You expressed it so well Nicole – the mirror is a simple yet perfect tool in developing self-acceptance. When I actually stop in front of a mirror and look at the reflection I can see what I am bringing of myself into the world and humanity.
Awesome Simone ~ feels like more trying on of clothes is in order to confirm the beautiful YOU.
Thank you Nicole, I really enjoyed reading this. It reminded me of what inspiring mirrors we can be for each other when we let our inner beauty shine out. 🙂
Soo true Fiona, a very important point to remember , thank you.
What timing, I love this so much, thank you Nicole.
Recently I have just started to have a relationship with the mirror and not just to quickly look to see if something is hanging from my face that shouldn’t be there. 🙂 It has been very challenging to stop and take the time and really look into my eyes. Sometimes I can appreciate how I feel and other times I just cannot. The mirror is constantly reflecting to me how I feel about myself.
A few days ago I was asked “my Gosh how long can you look in a mirror for?” For the first time ever I was able to reply ‘Forever’ with a huge grin on my face.
I appreciate this blog so much that inspires me to go deeper and deeper with my new developing relationship with the mirror. Thank you. 🙂
Too true Kim, looking in the mirror is awesome and we are truly amazing and inspiring, why wouldn’t we want to look at ourselves in the mirror.
Hi Nicole, Thank you for writing this. It is very inspiring, it feels like there is a light shining through in your writing which is very beautiful and also deeply healing to read. Reading all of your words each one meant so much. What really stood out for me was “The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me”. It made me realise there is more to me than I currently let myself see at the moment, especially when you have shared what this is like to really see and feel the true you.
Beautiful, thank you Vicky.
Beautiful Vicky – yes I can relate to this too – there is so much more.
Yes Vicky, I feel that there is also more to me than I currently let myself see.
I really relate to what you have shared Vicky… But step by loving step allowing more of me to shine through. There is so much more.
This is beautiful Nicole, thank you. Makes me want to look in the mirror and see what is there. Thank you again, Caroline.
Thank you Caroline. You are awesome and I am sure you will see that and so much more. Looking in the mirror is now fun and what we see are the beautiful and amazing women we are.