Looking in a Mirror – Enjoying a True Reflection

Have you ever stopped – looking in a mirror to enjoy a true reflection – or is it just a glance to make sure your make-up or hair is ok?

I remember one day being asked just that; “do you look at yourself in the mirror, or is it just a glance?” Of course, I thought, I always look in the mirror ­– or did I?

Sure I would look in the mirror but never was I really looking at me – I was looking at a mere shadow of myself which was then presented to the world.

It was time to start looking past the facade that I had created to protect and hide myself from the world; to allow myself to see the true me. It was an awkward and at times uncomfortable process – making myself stop and look at what was being reflected back to me.

Funny really, as I worked as a hairdresser so I was in front of mirrors all day every day, and yet it was easy to avoid looking at myself, making it all about the client.

There was no admiration or adoration of myself. I would look in a mirror and not liking what I saw, I would instead choose to make every glance about something else. For example, when trying on clothes I never looked at myself but looked at and admired the clothes I was trying on – never once stopping to admire the person that was wearing the clothes. The body and person under the clothes were just that… there was no appreciation or connection to me, just an observation of the reflection of what I saw in the mirror.

So the process unfolded on many levels, keeping it simple to start with and taking time to actually look at myself when I was in front of the mirror. Not unlike what can be observed when a child looks at themselves in the mirror… you can see the way they admire and adore themselves with each and every glance.

Before long I was beginning to see the true essence of me coming through – the facade was beginning to drop away and I was no longer afraid of how I presented to the world.

I began to dress for me, not the world or the mirror; my make-up was applied to my face in a way that supported the natural glow that was now emanating.

As this unfolded I started to enjoy walking past a mirror and slowly began to appreciate the woman I was becoming – or what I should say is that I was now allowing the woman I had always been, out.

I did not stop to consider the amazing beauty I had concealed from myself and the world – I only knew that the hurt I had been protecting myself from was actually coming from me. I was hurt because I had been hiding this awesome reflection and every time I looked in the mirror the sadness was felt. I did not like what I saw – what I was looking at was not me and it hurt. The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.

I have been nurturing, embracing and loving the person I am – without any expectations or comparisons to another.

Over time, with this nurturing I have blossomed and continue to blossom every day with more and more acceptance for myself.

It was this simple question from Serge Benhayon about the way I looked at myself in a mirror – or not ­­– many, many years before, that began my process of self-acceptance; a process that has been nothing short of a true transformation. No plastic surgery, wonder pills or diets, just a commitment to allowing myself to connect to, live and express me.

I now live each day appreciating the woman I am, continuing my expansion of self for all the world to see.

With the hurts falling away and the real me shining through, why would I not want to stop, and looking in a mirror, see a true reflection of glorious me.

Inspired by the work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.

By Nicole Serafin, Age 42,Tintenbar, Australia

507 thoughts on “Looking in a Mirror – Enjoying a True Reflection

  1. ‘The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.’
    I so know this pain Nicole, it is a tension in my body like no other, and yes it is greater than any other pain I have felt. But I am coming to adore this feeling, for when there is tension, I know deeply that tenderness and grace is needed as I explore what the pain is revealing and begin living the next installment of love that I have accepted into my body.

  2. Beautiful Nicole. It is interesting what we choose to see when we look at our reflection in the mirror. I always looked at the reflection of my physical self with self-criticism but now that I choose to look deep into my eyes I see reflected back my inner beauty and love of the all.

  3. I used to be a great mirror avoider, developing a technique to ensure if I was near a mirror that I didn’t actually look at myself. And if I was trying on clothes in a shop I would close my eyes as I began to take my clothes off and wouldn’t open them until I had the shop clothes on. What a lot of time and effort I used to avoid seeing the woman in the mirror, a woman who if I looked deeply behind the pain and the issues I was carrying was actually rather beautiful.

  4. A lot of people avoid mirrors, I reckon it’s not because they in truth don’t like themselves – but because in the reflection they see every ounce of disregard and abuse they’ve given themselves, and how they have not cherished and nurtured that absolutely beautiful person that they are.

    1. I agree Meg, something I have done and do now when I’ve not been looking after and adoring myself. The beliefs and ideals we walk in and running ourselves by pictures are etched in our face so clear to see.

      1. It’s fascinating how we look different day to day, or even at different points in the day – there’s so much more to our reflection than we are often prepared to be honest about.

  5. “Sure I would look in the mirror but never was I really looking at me”. This was me – and often still is. But when I do stop and really look the difference I feel nowadays is huge, in comparison with when I continually judged myself for not looking ‘right’ – whatever that old belief system was. Nowadays my eyes reveal a beauty and wisdom.

  6. Women who know their true beauty is so very powerful. They look absolutely stunningly naturally beautiful – and it is never about their facial features or the body shapes. This is much easier to see it on others as I have had my fair share of self-acceptance issues, struggling but desperately wanting to be able to love myself for who I was, yet fearing being caught out as being narcissistic if I dare go there. Totally insane.

  7. Thank you for your honest blog Nicole – this sentence got me: “The pain of living a shadow of who I truly was hurt more than any hurts the world or humanity could ever impose upon me.” Is it not that most of us can relate to what you have shared so truthfully? You also deliver a way out of this hurt and these are the wonders of true understanding, appreciating, accepting and then loving oneself . . .

  8. When we look at ourselves in a mirror we make choices regarding what we do, do we focus on a specific point or aspect?Do we cover one whole area of the body? Do we look at the whole in a glance to check something up? Do we truly look ourselves in the knowing that there is much more that cannot be captured by the human eye? What and who do we look at?

  9. By both enjoying and appreciating the reflection of ourselves being mirrored back to us it becomes far easier to actually enjoy and appreciate ourselves full stop.

  10. SO true Nicole, when we connect, we can see the real beauty that is there – and the judgements fall apart, the beliefs fall away.. simply if we truly allow, we can just be with all the beauty that we are.

  11. Your article is as gorgeous to read as it is profound in what it has exposed, for as you have shown… if the entire world committed to nurturing, loving and accepting themselves like you have, there would be no need for such a focus on external beauty, and plastic surgery, wonder pills and diets would be a thing of the past and a reminder of a time where we had forgotten that true beauty come only from within.

  12. It’s beautiful to read how you changed the way that you look at yourself and how that spilled over into how you dress and apply make-up. Blossoming is a great way to describe it and it really feels like that – something that you nurtured and expanded into from inside of you.

  13. We are so accustomed that we are the face others (and us) see, that we do not look deeper. On top of that, we can filter out everything we do not want to see. So, keeping any reflection shorter than the truth we could access to is not that hard. Yet, it is not the truth and nothing but the truth.

  14. Thank you Nicole for sharing this. A reminder for us all to take the time to deeply appreciate, that who we are within is deeply beautiful, tender, sacred and wise. I am discovering (and appreciating!) the more we do, the more we truly nurture, cherish and care for ourselves, as such we feel freer to live who we truly are with a greater fullness, to which there is no end to the degree that this love can be lived.

  15. This should be taught in every school, in fact this needs to be available to every adult in the world, as so much can be gained when we start to love ourselves.

  16. I can relate a lot to your experience Nicole. I have most the time looked at something on my face, zooming into a flaw that I perceived I had but never really looking at me or what I was reflecting out. That was until I got a dressing table and sit and look at me while putting my makeup on. There are days that I don’t like seeing the tiredness and disregard I have been living in my face and there others that I see the beauty, grace and warmth that is there. Recently I notice how different I looked in the mirror at home compared to how I looked in the mirror at work. Showing the different faces I put on.

  17. We tend to exclude ourselves from the reflections we get daily. So, when we look at the mirror, that possibility is usually off the chart. Yet, why? Because of the lack of inner space in us that identifies us with the character that appears at the first glance.

  18. Our reflection is so much more than how we look. It’s how we live that essentially makes our reflection what it is, energetically so.

  19. It is hard to admit to ourselves that our deepest hurt is something that is self-inflicted – but it makes sense. In my experience everything arises from our relationship with ourselves and so the good news is that we can choose again and heal that relationship – hence ‘healing’ that reflection at the same time.

  20. Today I look in the mirror and am blown away by the beauty I see shining back at me. This is incredible for in the past I could not look at myself without harsh thoughts and judgements – often feeling ugly and unlovable. It’s extraordinary how far we can go to deny ourselves the truth of what and who we are and yet how simple it is to turn this around.

    1. Lucy I so relate to what you share here. When I look in the mirror these days I actually stop and take a few moments to observe the light shining in my eyes which is a lovely confirmation of my true beauty shining through – no more holding back!

  21. It’s funny to look at something we do and have done thousands of times but when we consider it we have actually never truly done it. Looking in the mirror is a great one as most of us would do this at least once a day and yet have we truly looked? Or have we just been a critique factory of what we have caught a glimpse of and from there not seen past the critique? I know this morning when I go to the mirror at some stage I will watch more deeply what I see and what the thoughts are around the reflection. Something so simple and so consistently everyday will and can be a great support for us.

  22. There is big gap between when I look in the mirror to make sure what others see is presentable and when I look straight into my eyes. The first one is often riddled with judgements & even best feels like an empty praise. But in my eyes I see the huge joy and playfulness that is my essence, and even in those moments when I have not been so connected, the sadness in my eyes still show the gorgeousness and tenderness within me. Just the choice of being present with myself in front of the mirror or not itself makes a huge difference

  23. How gorgeous Nicole, when we connect we truely see the beauty, tenderness and divinity that is there. I love how you now appreciate, accept and honour your blossoming self.

  24. ‘I was now allowing the woman I had always been, out’… Oh i know what you mean Nicole. Recently, I have been feeling the impulse to express more of the woman I am. I have not had much time to do this lately as I have been working a lot and it was shift work. That said, I am starting a new job on Monday, and I can already feel the space open up for me, space in which I can have more time to express my sweetness and tenderness and much more and I can feel I will have more time to play…. to play with others!

  25. Nicole it is beautiful to read of your deep appreciation and acceptance of yourself and how powerful your reflection is to others reminding them equally of their own amazingness too.

  26. Truly beautiful to actually appreciate ourselves when we look in the mirror, and a great opportunity to care and nurture ourselves knowing that we are each worth it, connecting more deeply to the woman we are, and reflecting all our glory, for the world to see and feel.

  27. Beautiful Nicole so very worth appreciating who we are from with-in and all the tiny steps and moments that support us to re-claim our gorgeousness from the inside out.

  28. True Beauty comes to life. There are many women and everyone who would appreciate reading this blog. It is a very common experience when it comes to mirrors. People often automatically make a comment about themselves in a not so favorable way when in this position.

  29. I actively avoided my reflections in mirrors and shop windows. I used to get annoyed if I saw people looking at themselves other than for a functional purpose, believing them to be vain and self absorbed. I only looked to check my clothing and to brush my teeth. Now I can look into my eyes whilst looking in the mirror and smile at the woman I’m beginning to see.

  30. Appreciation is so important, appreciating who we are inside, our true self, whilst choosing to connect to and express our true self, ‘ just a commitment to allowing myself to connect to, live and express me.’

  31. Looking to see if we’re measuring up to our own or others’ expectations versus looking to confirm the beauty of who we are… I know which I’d prefer.

    1. Yes – so well said Victoria. I have tried the first way you mention, for many years, and it left me feeling belittled, worthless, exhausted, and with no true sense of who I am. Since embracing the latter, I can honestly say my life has never felt so enriched, plus what is continually inspiring is that I feel I have only just touched the surface…

  32. Through taking the time to appreciate our inner beauty, we are confirming our divinity in all it various manifestation within our life.

  33. I have found the more aware I am of the hurt, and knowing this hurt is just a picture of a way I thought it should be, and under that is the real me shining through, why would I not want to stop, look in a mirror, and see a true reflection of the glorious me.

  34. With nurturing and acceptance we do blossom, ‘I have been nurturing, embracing and loving the person I am – without any expectations or comparisons to another.’

  35. I’m feeling to put myself on a program to look in the mirror at myself, truly see myself, every day. My relationship with myself has changed enormously, but there is always a deepening to allow, greater intimacy to surrender into, sacredness to claim and power to express.

  36. In society we have severely diminished how we consider ourselves, to our physicality alone, and often this is only what we see when we look in the mirror. And in this separation, we don’t stop here, but take it further to separating ourselves and defining our worth by measuring up our body parts to pictures offered by society. It is a great question to ask of ourselves as to what we see when we look in the mirror, as you we see the reflection of the Son of God the we innately are, the body and being that is here to reflect the light of our Divinity, through which our eyes can never hide the truth of who we all really are in essence.

  37. Oh yes reflections are powerful especially self reflections from the timeless and ‘spiteful’ mirror that does nothing but present truth – and that truth can be painful and is why we avoid truly looking at ourselves. As soon as we drop the protection, ( the masks and the hardness), humbleness and grace can enter and the once spiteful mirror becomes a place where truth dwells – and a confirmation of so much beauty, light and grandness – a reminder of who we truly are.

  38. I have always dressed for myself and not for anyone else. I have always had a good sense of what suited me and what didn’t. The difference is that these days I am not afraid to be seen, and enjoy being out there in the world connecting with people.

  39. I love this word; blossom… when do we truly blossom and open up like a flower, is through acceptance, accepting all that we have chosen, accepting where we find ourselves in life, accepting that everything happens for a reason and we can read it for the lesson and the growth, and accepting that we are far grander than the eye can see and in that grandness we have everything we need within for this life journey.

  40. Not only the mirror is a reflection, but life is a reflection as is all our relationships. For example I always had issues with family, with all of them if truth be told. However, I have changed and grown so much in the last few years (let go of my hurts), that now I am so much more open, honest and transparent, and so all my relationships have improved, especially the relationships with all my family. The closeness with my family now is a powerful reflection and confirmation of all the love I am now choosing for myself having healed my lack of self-worth and lack of commitment to life issues. I now love committing to life, and I love sharing all of me.

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