Why Diets don’t Work – and Neither does Tidying Up

I could never work out why diets don’t work for me – and neither does tidying up. Isn’t it funny how we try to be perfect? And how much we don’t like the way we are or the way we live and are constantly striving to be better?

I was overweight for years – unhappy with just about everything but numbing it with eating, eating, and more eating. I tried diets that didn’t work and went to weight watchers’ classes time after time but the weight always came back.

The problem was, dieting and losing weight in that way was a discipline, something I felt I HAD to do and therefore as soon as it became a struggle I would give up. It is only in recent years as I am accepting myself more that I have begun to feel my body and honour how it feels, choosing only to eat foods that support me. Amazingly, my body has returned to its true and natural weight – with virtually no effort at all, and without the need for dieting.

The same issue of self-acceptance arose with tidying up my workspace and my home. I’d have a big event coming up with visitors and tidy, tidy, tidy. Tidying up would look great but really that was just on the surface. There would be things stuffed into a drawer or cupboard out of sight, and eventually, like the weight going back on, the mess would creep back in.

I realised I was approaching dieting and tidying up in the same way… wanting the end result to be different by how it would look to others and reflect positively on me, but I wasn’t approaching dieting and tidying up as a loving gesture to help support myself.

In recent years I have begun to make better choices and I am learning there is another way for me to be.

I am learning to truly accept myself, for in truth I am a beautiful, tender woman who has much to express in the world, and in honouring that, I am naturally feeling to eat in ways that support my body in wellness: and as for tidying up, it is something I naturally want to do.

There is still a lot to clear and I am tackling small areas at a time, but as I clear more clutter, my vitality and energy increase… it is truly a reflection of how I am living my life.

I now choose to take time to put things away. It is not a case of tidying up to feel better or for my home to look better for others, but accepting myself first then the tidying up happens because I want to create a space that is nurturing and supportive for ME… the two go together. The same goes for how I now approach food – not eating to lose weight but eating in a way that naturally supports my body. In doing this, my body has lost the extra weight I was carrying and has returned to its natural shape and size. I now feel vital and healthy.

Thanks to the inspiring presentations of Serge Benhayon and the Universal Medicine Practitioners, whom I have known since 2005, my whole life has turned around. I am learning to be more accepting of myself, and to acknowledge how far I have come. I am learning to enjoy being me in every moment.

By Carmel Reid, BEng DMS CertEd MCMI, Frome Somerset

732 thoughts on “Why Diets don’t Work – and Neither does Tidying Up

  1. This is so simple and so brilliant! If we start to honor ourselves deeply and appreciate who we are, connect deeply to our innermost – than everything else takes place absolut naturally. If I try to make the end result happen without the honoring and connecting first – it becomes a task, a burden and at the end…it does not work.

    1. And if I try to do things without being connected first, only focusing on the end result, life becomes a bit of a drag and joyless – all about the ‘doing’ and the fixing, instead of the deep acceptance, appreciation and enjoyment of being in the moment – and just enjoying something because we’re there with ourselves.

      1. Yeah. We have the choice to come from our fullness or from emptiness. By trying to fill the emptiness we get lost in frustration, as emptiness is a ‘not to get satisfied beast’. It is like a black hole, everything gets lost and we need more and more and more. But it will never be enough. To paraphrase Einstein: you can’t fix a problem with the thinking that created it.

  2. It is very easy to procrastinate, shove everything into a pile and think we’ll deal with it later, but in truth we never do. Having just come out of hospital following a pretty major surgical operation, I returned to my (now delightfully tidy) bedroom with a heap of new paperwork. Tired and in pain it was easy to leave it for a few days but today it’s bothering me. What I eat has changed, so obviously something is clearing from my body, and today is the day the pile gets sorted so that my room feels restful and supportive once again.

  3. Often we set ourselves a goal of some sort thinking we have to be a certain way, to improve ourselves, to be better, thinner, tidier, whatever – but where does that picture come from? How do we know what that is going to look like? We have got this the other round, haven’t we? Our body reflects the choices we live everyday. Having a living space that reflects tidiness is the end result of how we live everyday. Bringing a sense of completion and conscious presence to every and each of my activity inevitably brings order.

  4. Carmel, reading your blog again reminds me of how powerful love and care is when we apply them with consistency and commitment. To bring this to how we tidy up, how we eat and what we eat, our body and our home is then supported to be in its natural state, harmony.

  5. When we put all our focus on constantly striving to be better we completely underestimate how awesome we are and the qualities we have right now in the present. And ironically, these are the very same qualities and awesomeness that lays the foundation for us to naturally grow upon which is far more effective than when we push or strive to be what we are not.

  6. It is so true that tidying up for the sake of tidying up does not work. I have spent years tidying up only to find within a very short period of time the mess is back. The impulse to tidy up has to come from a place within ourselves that says that we do not want to live in disorder and chaos any more. When the internal shift occurs the external shift follows.

  7. I relate to this deeply and have always looked at my body and my home as needing to have a result – my body needs to be a certain size and shape, and my home needs to look a certain way, but as exposed here it is all the same thing! Crazy to think that we can be so invested in things but we are only trying to recreate a picture that is not even true to us and our lives.

  8. The diet industry collects billions of dollars from the public who believe they will look and feel better following a certain diet. Though the inexpensive free and truly successful way to lose weight and feel better is to truly honour the body by getting the head and all its desires out of the way and instead listening first hand to the body. If we don’t first follow what our bodies truly want we will always be following blindly.

  9. This is literally perfect timing reading this for me and beautifully coincides with another blog I have just read giving me a greater understanding and awareness of what I can feel unfolding for myself to be aware of and look at; in that by accepting and deeply appreciating the woman I truly am is where the shift and changes come from in order to support myself and others as a deeper and more loving level. It is not in the doing or trying at all! Appreciating is definitely the key. ‘It is only in recent years as I am accepting myself more that I have begun to feel my body and honour how it feels, choosing only to eat foods that support me.’ Thank you xx

  10. As I struggle with the way I over eat I am finding that my next level of building a loving way to support my body with the way I am eating and the affect it is having on my body is ready to evolve to the next level.

  11. Dieting is a movement. The question is what is behind it? Is it the drive for ‘perfection’, hence an image? Is it the realisation that the excess weight one carries does not allow one to feel anything with the body, hence that we use food to numb ourselves? We cannot become the image, but we can stop using food against ourselves. Two different movements under the same heading.

  12. Oh much more gentle, listening to your body and taking care of yourself, feels compared to the ‘trying’ and ‘pushing’ that comes from believing we are not enough as we are. Tidying my house or looking after my body with a healthy meal for me is so supportive. I just cleaned and tidied my desk at work before leaving for the weekend, knowing what I would be coming back to on Monday… and boy will it feel lovely.

  13. Carmel thank you so much for your blog, it was exactly what I needed to read today. There is such a consciousness around tidying just for others, ditto dieting. I have realised reading your words how I can also change how I relate to my housework, and in this bring even more love to myself.

  14. I love the correlation you have made about diets and tidying up and more significantly, the importance of acceptance yourself first. It is gorgeous that this then inspires you to nurture yourself either through food or through creating a space to be with you, and through that allows you to really enjoy you more.

  15. This is great Carmel. It highlights how even the food that we know is not true or the one we are eating in a way that does not honour us and our body is not something we should just “give up” without first becoming fully honest and true to ourselves about why we may be seeking it in the first place.

  16. It’s all about the intent, if we do something to support ourselves, it’s very different and in fact it’s not a chore, it just feels like the natural thing to do and the more we choose those naturally loving choices, the more of them we make – one choice really does feed another.

  17. I remember when I first married, trying to keep my home perfect all the time just in case I had visitors. However this meant that I wasn’t truly ‘living’ in it which meant that I was living against a natural way of being. Now my home is naturally tidy and I feel this is because the way I am living now is not so dictated by how others will see me but by my own loving choices and a respect for myself and how my environment feels for me.

  18. The more we refine the way we live and eat, the more we can feel anything that is not in harmony, for example, although I am eating what might appear to be a very healthy diet, I can feel horribly heavy after a meal if I’ve eaten too much. Not only that, when I pick up my plate laden with food, I can already feel by its weight in my hand that it will be too much. It is then my choice to halve it and save some for later or to eat all of it despite knowing it was too much.

  19. When we focus on aspects of our life such as eating or cleaning and build a loving routine in how this supports us in the day it no longer becomes a task but a way in which we are in our lifestyle that encourages more self care that we can then stop to appreciate.

  20. We all have different bodies, lifestyles and are at different stages in our evolutionary cycles so it makes sense that tuning into our body regarding our food choices gives us a true marker to work from rather than a generic diet or what we just think is good for us.

  21. I can make a space look tidy but know the drawers are a mess, and in that knowing there is a discomfort in myself. It goes to show how we can’t ever really cheat in this regard, and that the more order we bring to our homes the more it positively affects how we feel.

  22. Yes I remember times when I would be frantically tidying up my house because people were coming round. Its funny that I wanted it to look nice and tidy for other people, but was not bothered to do it for myself. This was definitely a reflection on the relationship I had with myself.

  23. when I had my first child, one of my ideas about being a good mum was to have the home spick and span. Whilst my new born daughter slept I should have been having a nap too, but instead I spent the time cleaning. Needless to say I soon became exhausted. I was trying to prove something so it was all done for show rather than from a place of doing what I could to keep my home tidy and orderly.

  24. Rarely does anyone truly have a food issue. It is usually more honest to say they have an issue they do not want to face, and use food as a masking agent to prevent them feeling all their is to feel. And that management tool in itself becomes an addiction or systematic problem.

  25. Since having an operation recently I have refined my diet so that it appears very limited, but is very healthy compared to how I used to eat – there are so many foods I simply don’t fancy any more, which is great! What I have found is that since then, I have been more allowing in terms of what I allow myself to feel, and not being racy through eating too much sugary carbs has helped me to read situations more clearly than before. This increased sensitivity is inspiring me to continue taking care with my food and what I am working on now is the amount I eat, because too much can be numbing and that means my head makes decisions and choices instead of my body.

  26. When we do things to try to fit a picture – to try to make it look good on the outside – it simply doesn’t work and doesn’t feel great. It’s only when we’re prepared to get honest – to take a deep look within and ask why we’re doing or not doing something, and what we’re not accepting about ourselves, that we can understand and then change the behaviour from its root cause, and not the end result.

  27. Universal Medicine presents to everyone the opportunity to literally change and transform from the inside out, without taking on anyone’s knowledge or opinions, but to simply reconnect to one’s own internal awareness and truth and then, as Carmel says, the transformations take place

  28. Two things I experienced this week: one was walking into my bedroom where I’d taken care to make my bed – it felt beautiful just walking into the room, and two: walking back to the dining table where I’d abandoned my plate to answer a telephone call – that felt awful. In future I will ask the person to hold on while I clear my plate, or call them back.

  29. If I tidy without clearing and organising along the way, then I am ignoring what needs to be disguarded of; in much the same way we hold onto old patterns – we hold onto our clutter. By getting rid of what is no longer needed whilst tidying leaves the space feeling completely different.

  30. Carmel, thank you for sharing this, ‘There is still a lot to clear and I am tackling small areas at a time, but as I clear more clutter, my vitality and energy increase… it is truly a reflection of how I am living my life.’ I have noticed that as I am taking more care of myself and loving and appreciating myself more that I feel impulsed to tidy and de-clutter my house, the two for me go hand in hand. I too used to tidy up for others – if someone was coming round to visit, this felt very different to how I now tidy which feels much less tiring and much more enjoyable.

  31. As you have so wisely shared Carmel, the liberation we seek from the underlying pain, restlessness, emptiness and tension we feel, can never be found through the world outside of ourselves be it dieting, ideals, belief, lifestyles or otherwise. It is only through our claiming and honouring of who we are within first that can we then freely live in a loving way that allows us to be who we naturally are, in our all fullness of joy.

  32. ‘ I am learning to be more accepting of myself, and to acknowledge how far I have come’. It is important to take a stop moment, a breather, a moment to reflect and take stock of how far we have come and of much we have changed, for in this self-appreciation, we are also confirming ourselves and at the same time, preparing ourselves for the next steps, for there is always more steps to take….

  33. “..as I am accepting myself more that I have begun to feel my body and honour how it feels, choosing only to eat foods that support me. Amazingly, my body has returned to its true and natural weight – with virtually no effort at all, and without the need for dieting…” Self acceptance… what a recipe for health and wellbeing!

  34. The true power of acceptance and appreciation is felt deeply in your blog Carmel.
    “I am learning to truly accept myself, for in truth I am a beautiful, tender woman who has much to express in the world, and in honouring that, I am naturally feeling to eat in ways that support my body in wellness: and as for tidying up, it is something I naturally want to do”.

  35. There is big difference in energy between doing something because we think we’re not good enough versus doing something because we know something needs to change and we are worth making that change.

  36. Thank you for sharing your wisdom around this Carmel. I think you are onto something here 🙂 It is a fundamental shift to connect and build a relationship to and with your body, and then to make loving choices that support and nourish it.

    I made similar changes and started building a relationship with this thing I live in 24/7 (my body!) and as I did that, I was filled with wonderment of how it works for us. How amazing it truly is. And in that process I also started to connect with the beautiful tender woman I am.

    My weight which had yo-yoed for many years is now mostly stable and my food choices much more supportive (with a lot less fight). I have also applied the same principles to exercise. I now exercise to support and strengthen my body, not to punish it or to make it lose weight.

  37. Carmel, you are so correct in saying that struggle is not a great motivator for change. True change can only occur when we connect to our essence, understand that we are far grander than we let ourselves know and from there start to make more self loving choices because when we feel the loving quality of our essence we do not want to continue to disregard and abuse ourselves with self harming choices.

  38. Solutions don’t work – they only distract us from the underlying issue and offer a sense of relief. If we want answers and true change we need to look at the truth behind why we do what we do.

  39. Clear as Crystal Carmel. That simple it is. To let go the wanting some results and to just start wanting to care for ourselves again. In which our house is a reflection of how we are living in our body. It is not to judge if we see a mess or other disharmony is the house. Just to be inspired to start to clean and tidy it because it is at the same moment a letting go from old.

  40. Beautiful Carmel, I love this comparison between two areas of life that reflect very much how we are in our relationship with ourselves! It fascinates me and how I am always changing and often old habits that don’t support me or my body come back for me to look at, deepen time and time again.

  41. I have noticed that the more I love and care for myself, the outer things like body shape, what I eat, the state of my house and even my relationships seem to change, often quite drastically but in the most gentle ways without me even noticing. When we make life about love, and love for ourselves first, the struggle is simply dissolved.

    1. Nikki I completely agree, the more we care for ourselves the outer things like body shape, the food I eat, the state of my house and relationships all start to change. The changes are huge and yet its been a gentle and a more supportive change for me. In the last week I have several people say to me I have lost weight, but the truth is I have not lost weight, my body shape has changed back to a more slender figure, this is without diet and trying, but by deepening the caring for myself.

  42. Tidying up for visitors in order to give a good impression is something I have done in the past, it was almost like second nature to me. I don’t do it so much now days, as I started to feel that I was telling a lie about my way of living which was not my consistent way. I have found that since appreciating me for the woman I truly am, I automatically tidy up as I go along so as to have a loving space for me to live and move in.

  43. This week I went to an Apple store to ask them to help me clear space on my laptop…. I knew my laptop couldn’t be as full as it was telling me but I couldn’t see what needed ‘decluttering’ so to say. Two and half hours later and finding every spot that files were hiding in, it felt like a massive clean out and I said to them I feel lighter! We all laughed… but it was true.

  44. I’ve recently moved to a different country and I find that where I am currently living I automatically want to keep the place tidy and clean and have easily adjusted my diet to support how I was eating before I moved. Both feel like self loving choices that are supporting me in the adjustment to a new environment.

  45. There is no doubt that Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine teachings have been a great source in tidying up the loose ends that we can carry for many years ‘thinking’ this is the way life is supposed to be. The support of the teachings have been paramount in bringing reality back into everyday life where stuffing items in draws or food in the mouth send a message of the levels of disregard we are having for ourselves and the homes we live in. The changes you’ve shared here Carmel Reid come from steps of self love where there is no room to disregard as the value you feel for yourself is the key ingredient for all that you do.

  46. Inspirational Carmel. That focus on the end result is still something I get caught up in. Making the change so it’s about choices that support me is a very different approach that I’m finding is a more sustainable and loving way of being.

  47. This is a beautiful reminder how simple it is, if we just start to honour and accept our self everything starts to fall in to place. The key for me was to stop and make time for me, knowing I am worth it and in that build the acceptance of myself.

  48. Funny that we speak about diets that do not work. We eat every day. We follow a diet every day. The question is what are we doing with our eating? If we get heavy because we do not want to feel life, and we eat to that goal, can we honestly say that our diet does not work? It does work and delivers exactly what we are after. If we separate what we eat with what do we ask food to do for us, we can keep saying ‘this diet does not work’. But this is not true.

  49. “I wasn’t approaching dieting and tidying up as a loving gesture to help support myself.” I have also discovered that when I approach any task with the attitude of what others may think, or think I have to do something to please others. I have already lost that loving motivation and joy of doing something to support me and others in the task that I am doing.

  50. Awesome Carmel. I had appreciated the fact that diets don’t work and it is about our relationship with ourselves – but I hadn’t looked at the untidiness in that way. There are pockets of clutter around me and I have a new awareness of them now. I can see how they reflect my relationship with time – and never feeling that there is time to deal with it all. There is work to be done – thank you for sharing your awareness here.

  51. I have struggled with food and with tidying up. I agree whole heartedly with what Carmel has shared in that it doesn’t work because it’s all about outside appearances rather than supporting ourselves to value who we are and nurture that. When we nurture ourselves we see that living in an open, clean and tidy environment supports this and so does what we choose to eat and not eat.

  52. Interestingly, a few people have mentioned pockets of untidiness and, for me, there are a few pockets where I am less committed in how I eat, for example, having decided to avoid anything sweet, or to avoid eating nuts because of how they affected my body, I sometimes say, ‘Oh just one won’t hurt’ but that never pays because my body will still react, even to a small amount, and similarly, if I leave a small amount of things (clothes or paperwork) in a heap, it doesn’t feel great and can affect the whole house.

  53. Both tidying up and dieting are about how we appear to other people and wanting to appear perfect, as you say Carmel. Both are from outside in instead of inside out. The more we shed the outer layers of protection the more the we reveal our precious core to ourselves, and that is the place to live from.

  54. Tidying up also relates to a certain order and flow in a space, be it a bedroom, kitchen or any part of the house. When I then relate this to the bigger picture, a universal order that we are all part of, I get to see how we are always affecting the all.

  55. Great job Carmel. “I am tackling small areas at a time, but as I clear more clutter, my vitality and energy increase” it creates more space to see what is holding us back, what is getting in the way and actually allows more flow as Vicky Geary has mentioned in the previous comment!

  56. I love the title of this blog because it is the common calling card when we can feel that our lives are lived in disharmony and we are looking for ways to fix it rather than stopping to observe what doesn’t belong anymore. The discarding rather than the disregarding.

  57. I too was a ‘drawer and wardrobe stuffer’ when I knew visitors were on the way but once they had left I would often leave things as they were, hidden away from sight. Looking back I can see so clearly that this is how I lived in many areas of my life, just looking at the surface of my life and not allowing myself to look deeper at what I had stuffed out of sight. I am slowly learning to be much more transparent, allowing others to see me for who I am, but of course that begins with being honest with myself first and no longer hiding anything away that needs the light of honesty shone upon it.

  58. Carmel, this really makes sense, ‘I realised I was approaching dieting and tidying up in the same way… wanting the end result to be different by how it would look to others and reflect positively on me, but I wasn’t approaching dieting and tidying up as a loving gesture to help support myself.’ I can feel this with tidying up, if I tidy up to make my house look good and to give a ‘good’ impression then this feels like hard work and it feels false, it feels like there is a lack of acceptance of me and that I am putting how others see me above what truly supports me, I have noticed that the more i accept and love myself the more I naturally tidy.

  59. For years if we had guests coming to our house, out would come the black bin liners and everything that was not in it’s right full place would go in the black liner and stuffed in the cupboard. Afterwards the place would look tidy but it always felt unsettling some how, and then later when we were looking for things we knew where to look. These days I prefer to have the cupboards organised and clutter free if at all possible, and not to have the things out of place in the first place.

  60. Some great comments above, thank you. For me, especially after a recent retreat I attended, I can feel the disregard when clothes are left out, when dishes are not washed – the house where I live feels lovely to walk into when it is tidy, even when we don’t have visitors.

  61. It is a true testament to commitment and support for self that changes our every movement to those made of love and not neglect. Choosing to explore how we are in our daily activities expands our understanding of what patterns and or beliefs we may be carrying and to understand why we do them and how to then return to more loving movements to bring vitality back to life.

  62. Your blog Carmel is a beautiful confirmation for me as I am planning to clear some clutter and bring more order to my wardrobe and cupboards this weekend. Whenever I choose to do this the feeling in the home and my body is much lighter, more expansive and making space for a different quality and flow that is felt by all.

  63. We are just about to buy a house that needs lots of TLC (Tender Loving Care) both inside and out – it’s been an interesting journey house-hunting and feeling the energy of disregard in some of the houses. This one is empty but the imprint of disregard remains in some areas, such as the kitchen, bathrooms and one bedroom in particular. I’m looking forward to re-imprinting it with a loving freshness that will support us in our evolution.

  64. “I am learning to be more accepting of myself, and to acknowledge how far I have come.” Thank you Carmel for this. When I accept my feelings then nothing becomes a heavy chore or forced effort but life is joyfully engaged with.

  65. ‘I realised I was approaching dieting and tidying up in the same way… wanting the end result to be different by how it would look to others and reflect positively on me, but I wasn’t approaching dieting and tidying up as a loving gesture to help support myself.’ This is a huge revelation Carmel, and exactly one of the reasons why shape shifting on the outside is never sustainable, and requires constant ‘effort’ or discipline to attain. our body will always reflect our relationship with ourself and often diets are a way of controlling or masking how we truly feel by forcing ourselves to eat in a certain way and fight the cravings. If we build a relationship with ourself first – the way we want to eat changes naturally – with no effort required.

  66. I feel so much support for my body when I keep what I eat to those things that don’t bloat me. Maybe when I tidy up the rest of my surroundings food will become a simple follow on.

  67. Something interesting I am discovering about myself is that, when I’m upset, cleaning something in detail is a great restorer. Maybe it’s providing a reflection of healing within my own body. We take notice of the bigger things and sometimes it’s paying attention to the details that makes a difference.

  68. What stood out for me today as I read your blog Carmel was ‘Isn’t it funny how we try to be perfect? And how much we don’t like the way we are or the way we live and are constantly striving to be better?’ We so offer strive to be better, for a better way of life, yet we continue around the same cycle until we decide that enough is enough, it is as if we wait until we are unable to cope any longer as things are when we could have saved ourselves an awful lot of grief if we only felt into the choices we make, and made some different choices earlier on, although it’s never too late to start changing our choices.

    1. Yes, Sally, we tend to cement ourselves with phrases like ‘That’s just the way I am.’ And I agree with you, we can make different choices at any moment, regardless of how old we are or how set in our ways we think we are, it only takes one gentle breath in… or maybe a few :o)

  69. If we look at how our body reflects our home, you can see the total reflection in what you shared. Both home and body can’t be truly looked after if it does not come from a point of self love and care.

  70. Diets never work, that is a fact! as it is our love for ourselves that ignite a way of being where our relationship with our bodies and everything to do with it adapts to reflect that which is natural within us all.

  71. When we start to notice the reflections in everything around us, then we realise just how much we are supported and can choose differently when we pay attention.

    1. Absolutely Carmel – it’s all about choices and how we choose to be in each moment will make the next. No point in standing in front of cake and swearing not to eat it when the steps that got one there were unloving and not fully claimed . Talking from personal experience, of course.

  72. Dealing with things on a surface level can lead to great management of issues. So much so that we can kid ourselves that we don’t have the issues because we have managed them so well. It is only when we go to the very core of why we overeat or have mess in out lives that we can choose a different way.

  73. There is something very beautiful about putting things away after us. It is like we complete one thing and make ready for the next thing to begin. In this rhythm there is great order and flow.

    1. So true Elizabeth. Far from being an ‘ending’, completion offers us the birth of what comes next. No feeling in the world can match this when we live aligned to our true purpose in life – to evolve back to the unfiltered expression of the magnitude of our love.

  74. Perfection is not our friend! When we try to be perfect we really cannot be the amazing being’s that we are because we are no longer simply being, we are trying and when we try we push and then there is no connection.

  75. It is so simple when we stop the struggle and bring focus and dedication to deeply loving and accepting ourselves and then everything else becomes a reflection of this.

  76. Discipline and force is like punishment – no wonder we eat more under rules because we are trying to avoid feeling the loveless laws we have put ourselves under.

  77. Beautiful Carmel, the difference between making choices that stem from self love vs those that are impulsed from ideals or beliefs we hold is very stark. The former are nurturing and sustainable in my experience, while the latter tend to be draining and ultimately unsatisfying.

  78. As we are each divine in our essence but have behaviours in place that mask the expression of such beauty, we have mastered the art of making it all look so ‘good’ on the surface while all the while all we are doing is adding more layers, be that excess weight or clutter, that will then need to be discarded later. I call this process ‘densing the divine’, speaking as one who had perfected how to hide my light and bury my true self beneath a mountain of rubble I have spent what seem like an eternity emerging from. What I can say standing on the other side of this debris is that it is worth every step taken, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant it may seem at the time, to stand in the light of our true self and once again see the restored reflection of divinity – simple, clear and in full beam. A true lightening of ‘the load’ we all seem to carry here on Earth.

    1. I love that Liane, when we can see our life’s clutter as a load of rubble that is burying us – the light that emerges when we get out from under all that is truly beautiful.

  79. When we live for the outer world we will always come up empty for our activity is without our true inner-quality…the ‘us’ that is needed in every moment.

  80. Yes Carmel, I love the idea of creating supportive nurturing spaces. These days I have become particular about how I keep my car, and get it cleaned more often that I used to. Because I spend so much time in it I feel it’s important to have order around me as I travel.

  81. I 100% agree that diets don’t work because in the past I’ve tried lots, but none with any long-term success. When I stopped trying to lose weight and started to appreciate myself more by making more loving food choices, my weight naturally adjusted and I dropped 2 dress sizes.

  82. We have recently moved into a new home and there is much to clean and sort – little things like light bulbs that need replacing, drawers that stick, doors that don’t lock properly, plants overgrown in the garden, small niggles that most people will put up with but when we pay attention to these details, it’s amazing how different our environment feels as we claim our space and keep it clean, tidy and in good working order.

  83. Abstinence definitely has a limited shelf life. Forcing yourself to tidy up would too. There’s only one way to move on from an unwanted behaviour or adopt a desirable one and it requires being 100% ready to either let it go or embrace it, whichever is required. And both require understanding why we’re doing what we’re doing in the first place.

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