Expressing Myself and Being True

I recently came to a realisation about the different ways I express myself with friends, family and people I meet for the first time.

The different way of expressing myself with friends compared to how I express myself with others feels like it came about as a way to offload some of the pain I was feeling in my relationships within my family. Often when I spoke to a close friend about what was happening within my family situation I would look for and gain sympathy, as we would also compare notes about how our parents treated us.

When I expressed myself to friends there was a feeling of familiarity – but it was different to how I expressed myself in my family. Talking with friends there was more equality, but the same lack of honesty. I would use my friends as a sounding board when blaming my family for my woes where I became the ‘victim’ who “had so much to put up with”.

There was so much blaming as I did not take any responsibility for my part in what was going on. Here I perceived I was creating another identity and also a connection to the friend who would also be berating their family.

Engaging in this way was far from being true to myself. I felt a deep urge to make a connection but didn’t know how to do it, and instead I reverted to an old pattern that seemed familiar. In desperation for the connection, instead of taking time and feeling into what was really hurting me, I would look outside of myself in a critical and judgmental way and choose a subject that would bring up common ground for both of us.

I was not ready to be honest about what was really going on in my family: I was going into denial and protecting myself by diverting attention away from the truth.

I came to a point in my life where everything appeared to come to a halt and I felt forced to take a deep look at how I was living my life.

I began having sessions with an Esoteric Healing Practitioner who reflected to me a new way of expressing – with clarity and love, but without the sympathy I was looking for and found when I confided in friends. I found this directness challenging at first until I was willing to open up and start being honest, both with myself and others.

The time spent in the sessions gave me a space in my life where it felt safe to be open and honest, and gradually and very slowly I started to be this way with others.

I have started meeting people at Universal Medicine workshops and events who like me, are learning to take responsibility for their lives and the way they live them. I am learning to express myself in a simple, clear honest way that truly represents who I am inside and who is not afraid of letting other people see my awesomeness. I am not perfect but this does not take away from the fact that I am a beauty-full, power-full and a play-full human being.

When I am in my fullness – in that I am not holding myself back – I am allowing the world to see me fully. Expressing from this place is much more freeing as I allow that tender, precious and play-full ‘me’ to explore and experience the world in a whole new way. In being able to see me fully, others can feel a sense of the fact that I am not hiding any part of myself or my life from them. I am not holding back and guarding myself and consequently others do not have to guess what it is I am feeling and thinking.

In doing so we can relax and be ourselves and have a great time. It feels as though I have wasted a lot of time not being myself!

These changes were inspired by the support of Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and all the amazing esoteric practitioners.

By Susan Lee, Hadleigh, England

Related Reading:
Communicating with, and Talking to People – No longer Calibrating my Expression

562 thoughts on “Expressing Myself and Being True

  1. Thankyou Susan, great to read of your experiences. I liked this line “There was so much blaming as I did not take any responsibility for my part in what was going on.” How true this is for all of us, and how empowering to realise we ourselves can bring the change we seek by making more loving choices in relationships, and in life in general.

  2. Honesty is seriously the best policy… well it’s a very needed starting point anyway. I love the feeling of being honest with myself, it is so freeing and my body just melts, no matter what I’m feeling.

  3. A good dose of self appreciation is always key when getting honest and real with ourselves. Never be hard on ourselves but always holding ourselves instead for the deeply loving beings we are.

  4. As I read your blog Susan, I stopped to appreciate all the Serge Benhayon has gifted me with, awakened in me and as a result, I am able to offer myself to others in a way that I never imagined before. No doubt it is the same for you and countless others. To be shown the truth of who we are is immeasurable in it’s worth.

  5. In allowing ourselves to open up and be honest about how we feel, we are able to take the necessary steps to expressing from our true selves which becomes easier the more open we are.

  6. Playing games that are not honest ones is one of our major specialities. We have a clear feeling what games can we play with whom. It is definitely our right to do so until our last breath. But it is also our responsibility to reflect others that we can only gain if we stop doing so and face life from a different stand.

  7. Sometimes it feels like our ‘friends’ want to be part of a drama that is larger than life and bring us into it to make it even bigger and sometimes these dramas can be ones we have contributed to or even created; recognising this and making it clear that that is not how we want to carry on is crucial. Honouring ourselves in this way honours our ‘friends’ and anyone who is a player in the drama itself and establishes a foundation for “expressing myself and being true”

  8. All around me I see people holding themselves back unable to express honestly how they are truly feeling and instead using words that make it quite clear to the person they are communicating with that they don’t want to go any further, any deeper into how they are feeling. We are born to express, and to express honestly, but somewhere down the track, usually in childhood, our expression gets shut down and in turn so does who we truly are, and as a result not only do we suffer but so do those around us, and the world misses out on our innate amazingness.

  9. It all starts in how we express ourselves to ourselves. Great to also take care and be loving, open and non-judgemental with our inner dialogue.

    1. Yes.. and it all starts with becoming aware of what that inner dialogue actually is, instead of allowing it to run on autopilot.

  10. It’s amazing how we mold the way we express ourselves already in anticipation of how we think they might respond/react, even though we have never met them before, and it really exposes how false some of the ‘connection’ I thought I had when I met them and how that depended on the mutual need feeding back both ways.

  11. When we get caught in playing the victim in life we engage in a game that focuses on our hurts and weaknesses, not our qualities or potential.

    1. Playing the victim in life can be a great distraction and a way to avoid taking the responsibility for our lives and moving forward. Once we clock that this is what we’ve been doing, and how we’ve been perpetuating it, we can start to change our movements and thoughts – and actively switch the focus from self-denigration to self-appreciation.

  12. It is very easy to hide in ‘victim-hood’ and ‘niceness’ the only problem is that we are not dealing with life but rather burying our issues; we are entrapped and enslaved by our choices and the world misses us and we miss the world all usually under the guise of protection.

  13. Being able to express ourselves in full, not in reaction, but with love and understanding, it can be one of life’s biggest challenges. Not allowing the reaction with another person to take a hold and not let it go. This doesn’t serve anyone, it only creates more angst and separation. It is in coming back to a love within first, then that naturally flows onto others.

  14. As long as we hide from our part in life and the beautiful gift each experience offers us to grown and learn, what we say will often come out harsh and judgemental. When we understand exactly what is being offered to us, we tend to speak with ease and grace and in a tender way that can be easily heard. So it seems to me that the key to expression and communication is to listen closely to what you are being shown. Then and only then can you support others to grow. Thank you Susan for what you have shared.

  15. Often we hold back expressing ourselves to be liked or to not rock the boat, this especially happens in work situations where pandering to money and recognition is more important to what is felt as truth. And yet in holding back what is truth, we are choosing to be in a relationship which is abusive to self from the start.

  16. Being truthful and honest with oneself is the best way to move forward. Making choices that are honouring, supports our true expression. As we walk and express with this honesty we inspire other to do the same.

    1. It feels amazingly expansive and spacious when we realise that our movement initiates our expression – we do know this innately for when we feel great in our body and our body flows in ease and grace, we are freer to express our innermost feelings without hindrance.

  17. Watching your expression grow over the last few years Susan has been deeply inspiring. I see you today standing strong in truth and not afraid to express your feelings. Keep shining as your shine inspires all others to do the same.

  18. When we allow ourselves to only see blame we stop ourselves from seeing the part we played and the responsibility that needs to be taken before any truth can be learnt. I have found that in doing so the lesson is just delayed and usually repeated over and over in different ways until we are willing to see and learn what is there for us to grow from. It feels so beautifully freeing to come to the awareness you have and let go of the stories to be able to let go of what held you back and embrace the ‘you’ you now do.

  19. I’m going through a process at the moment were I’m learning not to talk from my hurts. It seems the more I observe and allow myself to see the many hurts, the more I see how many I have allowed in through my lack of true expression in the name of being good or fair. What I’ve learnt is that if I express from love and truth in my fullness I see the hurts for what they are, a false sense of protection that have kept many at arms length and stopped the flow of love between the many I meet.

  20. Expression is everything…the verbal and the non-verbal. We are constantly offered an opportunity to simply express from ourselves without turning our light down and being sensitive enough to recognise when we do express less is a wonderful education in itself.

  21. It’s amazing how much things can start to shift once we let go of investments of needing people to react or respond to us in a certain way.. i.e. once we let go of needing to be accepted or recognised and just allow ourselves to be. Holding onto any pictures or ideas about how we think others need to be for us, so we can feel okay, totally inhibits our natural way of expressing – and gets in the way of the truth.

  22. Your honesty is inspiring Susan. It is interesting to observe, when we are willing take an honest look at the nature of our relationships, that we can often seek to engage in relationship that do not evolve us, allowing us to continue to deny what we are being asked to address. I have discovered and am continuing to learn that when we are willing to embrace the truth and express the truth we feel, we are not only developing an honest and loving relationship with ourselves, based of truth and evolution, but we are also offering this quality of relationship equally with others. As such we are truly being ourselves with all.

  23. What I too have found lately is that when we take the blame away and not go into stories or drama of a situation we are able to gain clarity on why certain things maybe happening in our lives. This clarity also allows the space to observe and feel why we may go into age old patterns or ways of moving that no longer serves us. This allows for greater awareness around our expression and how we choose to move with it or against it.

    1. It is a beautiful marker for us all in our body when we realise that we are letting go of our need to blame – a re-action and not an expression from our soul. As we move closer to embracing our truth then clarity is indeed a great asset as we can see not only ourself but gain a deeper understanding of others. I love the feeling that with clarity we allow ourselves more space to observe and an opportunity to expand our expression and our service to the Universe. When we feel expansive we feel a deeper connection to others and that can be felt by all those around us – we become more united and move closer to living in brotherhood.

  24. If we don’t express who we truly are, then we are not living life – our life we are here to live through our expression. It is hideous that we learn NOT to be ourselves. Simple and important lesson in life Susan – thank you.

  25. Thank you Susan, I feel that a whole new level of awareness of how I can express who I am is knocking on the door after reading your blog again. Knowing that I have to be responsible for making the loving choices in all that I do so my expression can expand to the next level in absolute honesty feels like a commitment I am ready for.

  26. We can speak in a nice and calm way, with a polite and polished turn of phrase, but none of that changes the energy that comes through underneath. So if you are speaking to control others or protect yourself in some way – this manipulation and distortion is the actual result of what you say. What a relief to stop this meddling and just return to simply being us. Thank you Susan for this beautiful and super honest sharing.

    1. I can feel an ouch moment with what you have said here Joseph as I was a past master at the art of manipulation and deception. At the time it felt like the only way to survive was to be ‘polite’ and superficial as the last thing I wanted to do was make waves, not realising that I was not fooling anyone – unless they wanted to join in the grand game of make pretend. What an amazing freedom to be able to begin to let go and be who we truly are – and even more to be able to speak the truth. All that holding back on expression takes up so much energy and space – space that we could be filing with truth and love.

    1. So true Kim – when we let go of the need to be anything other than who we truly are we are indeed free to live life fully and joy-fully with every breath we take.

  27. I have came to realize how I have been obedient in full length to the energy of sympathy. And I am becoming aware of how much energy this has cost me. It is and has been deeply exhausting as I had chosen to do so. The depth of poison that is left inside a body after consuming sympathy, pretending it is caring for another or situation, is very strong. Hence, the exhaustion that sympathy is causing, that each one of us can choose, simply states ‘ being less, is good’. Hence it is an easy catch, as it were my life (and lives before) to invest in sympathy as I would not have to take responsibility for my power. hence I was obedient to the energy that would then fill my body as I had chosen to not do so with my own divine power. Hence the only way to undo the emptiness that drives the spirit to choose sympathy is to bring back responsibility and feel the power it needs to bring.That we need to bring. As only if we choose love, this sympathy has no where to stand and because the choice is made by that person, sympathy will no longer exists in one’s body. This is the truth I will further discover so that I will become fully filled with love and no longer sympathy. The choice is mine.

  28. In friendships we often look for sympathy or a sounding board. But is that true friendship? What if as a friend we called our friends to be all that they are. If they were not taking responsibility we called them out on it. If they were carrying on in drama we exposed that. If someone calls for advice or wants to be heard, is it our responsibility as a friend to hear the deeper call? True love can sometimes be very uncomfortable but in the long run is much more comfortable – even though there is not comfort in it!

  29. “I am not holding back and guarding myself and consequently others do not have to guess what it is I am feeling and thinking.” So many of our reactions to others come from us wanting from others what we do not give to ourselves. It is up to us to express how we feel and think and if we don’t then it is our responsibility to face the consequences.

  30. ‘I have wasted a lot of time not being myself!’ That I can confirm too. I guess for at least 37 years this life I wasted time as every second when we do not express all the love which is available in our heart we are waisting time. And then when we ask ourselves; What can I do about all that is going on in the world? It is clear, love is the only way out of OUR misery. And as long we see the world misery as THEIR misery we are in big problems. As it is brotherhood what will evolve humanity.

    1. Yes, Sylvia – that is truly the case – we have been indulging our misery and hanging on to it convincing ourselves that ‘life is hard’. When we begin to open to love we realise that life is not all about us but about the quality of life that we offer as our part of the Universe. Our vibrations are an integral part of the all and in every movement we are responsible for our part in evolution.

  31. There are so many pictures we hold onto around family and friends that are far from the truth, when we start to be honest and not holding back anymore our expression these ideas can go one by one. Interestingly it is the way we choose to move that determines the quality of our thoughts and how we are with ourselves and others around us.

  32. Expressing is not just expressing. It is also sharing ourselves. It is presenting to others something that serves as reflection that either confirms them or helps them to evolve. Hence, it is very needed and it carries an enormous responsibility.

  33. There is definitely something about just being ourselves – and all of ourselves in our expression and communication with others. I had this experience recently whilst delivering a presentation – I just felt myself being me and sharing myself with the audience. Being me made it possible for those attending to connect with me as a person not just to hear what I was saying. We connected rather than just shared information and the difference was palpable and very beautiful to feel.

  34. I feel like that too Susan. I realise I waste so much time not being myself and even with this realisation the tendency to not be myself is pretty frequent, which doesn’t make a lot of sense. But realising this is a great start and being more aware is a blessing.

  35. What inspires me deeply is when I see people who are the same with everyone, in whatever situation they are in – at work, at home, out shopping etc. They are consistent and steady throughout all of these and do not change what they show to the world depending on who are they are with and what they are doing. Everything is recognised as being one life and so fullness of expression is called for in every moment. As I have allowed in this inspiration instead of feeling jealousy which I felt for some time, I too have begun to be more steady and consistent in myself in the ever changing scenarios and relationships in my life. I have taken the first steps of commitment to bringing and being myself equally for all, and every day I appreciate this more and more as I get to know myself better.

  36. “I would look outside of myself in a critical and judgmental way and choose a subject that would bring up common ground for both of us.” I can also relate to communicating with people in this way Susan and feeling the falsity in it because I was not willing to be open or honest in what I was feeling and with low self-worth I automatically thought I would be rejected so would settle for any form of connection possible.

    1. I understand what you mean when you say ‘I automatically thought I would be rejected so would settle for any form of connection possible’ and reading your words Linda, I am now realising the greater implications of always holding back and the impact this has on the world around me and when I consider this energetically, I can see that I am subscribing to a world where ‘Peace at any price’ is the cost we seem to be willing to pay. No wonder the world is in such turmoil when almost no one is willing to stand for truth and honesty. As we come to terms with our part in any situation we can begin to live more responsibly and honourably and at harmony with ourselves and with others.

  37. So many of us seem to spend so much time and precious energy pretending to be someone that we are not instead of showing the world exactly who we are. Is this because we are so busy playing so many different roles in our lives, adapting to the situation around us, that we forget who we truly are; the beautiful being that does not need to pretend to be anything because we know who we are and live all of us in everyone moment.

    1. It definitely feels like that to me Ingrid – I know that this is how I have lived the greater part of my life – hiding who I truly am, being afraid to be me in a world that didn’t feel safe. I feel I was picking up the messages that no one was willing to honestly and literally say how they were feeling. As you say we have spent so much time pretending to be other than who we truly are that we have lost touch with reality. It does feel awesome to now have the opportunity to begin to unravel this complicated way of living and return again to being open and true to our innate essence.

  38. There is nothing more powerful and magnificent than being ourselves, and it is through the constant appreciation and confirmation of who we are that allows us to create a new normal inspiring others to be themselves.

  39. There is a transparency isn’t there when you are not hiding, simply being yourself. There is so much less tension of what is not being said. Well worth giving a go!

  40. Gorgeous blog thank you Susan; expressing to ourselves first and then to others is the key and as you say so freeing;
    “Expressing from this place is much more freeing as I allow that tender, precious and play-full ‘me’ to explore and experience the world in a whole new way”.

  41. This is a beautiful sharing Susan, being more real and honest with everyone allows for our relationships to deepen and grow, transparency is the key and the more we embrace this quality we also empower others to choose this as well.

    1. Not surprisingly this process began with Serge Benhayon – before meeting him I felt constantly guarded. It was his openness and love that encouraged me to begin to let go – who could resist when presented with such a man of equality and integrity as well as a natural warmth and grace that invites others to expand their experience of life.

  42. You raise some really great points here through your candidness about the way you’ve dealt with life and expressed to others Susan, thank-you.
    How much of ‘the world’ actually runs on offloading our blame, frustration, pain… seeking a sympathetic ear and/or to sympathise ourselves – and yet never truly stepping ourselves out of the malaise we are in, in the first place?
    To be willing to go the ‘deeper step’, and look to the part we play in what is going on in our lives, what we ourselves are allowing, where we are holding back on that which we know to be true… is to seek true healing. And therein lies the actual empowering point of choice if we wish to make it – do we truly want to heal, and deal with that which founds our hurts in life, or would we prefer the seeming ‘familiarity’ of ‘the known’ in terms of the daily angst, blaming others and stimulation that is derived from offloading that which we don’t truly want to deal with… It is all, always, our call.

  43. Thank you Susan, I feel we have all been there in one way or another struggling to express who we truly are. I have found that it is really a reflection of the relationship we have with ourselves, when I am connected to my inner-most, my expression has a far greater natural flow to it.

    1. Yes, I feel I know what you mean – and sometimes it nows feels that I was struggling to hide what cannot be hidden which is quite ridiculous in retrospect. When I come back to myself and the natural flow returns I wonder why would I want to be any other way? It feels so beautiful as we all support one another to expand our experience and become bolder and less protective – and to appreciate just how awesome we are.

  44. Thing is, all relationships effect all relationships. As much as we try we can’t actually section off one relationship from another. Effectively, how we are in one relationship we bring to the others – so if we choose to not be ourselves we are first effecting our inner relationship which is then expressed to all external ones.

  45. Expressing can be simple if we first let go of judgement, blame and hurts and see the truth for what it is. When we compartmentalise our lives we shut ourselves off from observing what is really going on around us. This then stops our full expression and halts our evolvement. Expressing freely and honestly from the connection of our bodies is simplicity in movements and that is something to be treasured and explored as we move and shift throughout our lives.

  46. A beautiful blog to read Susan. On reading the changes you have made in your living and way of being, I can resonate with just how ‘time-wasting’ it is to not be in connection with my innermost essence. In enjoying this re-connection, time disappears and there is a gorgeous and harmonious feeling of spaciousness in my day.
    “It feels as though I have wasted a lot of time not being myself!”

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