Expressing Myself and Being True

I recently came to a realisation about the different ways I express myself with friends, family and people I meet for the first time.

The different way of expressing myself with friends compared to how I express myself with others feels like it came about as a way to offload some of the pain I was feeling in my relationships within my family. Often when I spoke to a close friend about what was happening within my family situation I would look for and gain sympathy, as we would also compare notes about how our parents treated us.

When I expressed myself to friends there was a feeling of familiarity – but it was different to how I expressed myself in my family. Talking with friends there was more equality, but the same lack of honesty. I would use my friends as a sounding board when blaming my family for my woes where I became the ‘victim’ who “had so much to put up with”.

There was so much blaming as I did not take any responsibility for my part in what was going on. Here I perceived I was creating another identity and also a connection to the friend who would also be berating their family.

Engaging in this way was far from being true to myself. I felt a deep urge to make a connection but didn’t know how to do it, and instead I reverted to an old pattern that seemed familiar. In desperation for the connection, instead of taking time and feeling into what was really hurting me, I would look outside of myself in a critical and judgmental way and choose a subject that would bring up common ground for both of us.

I was not ready to be honest about what was really going on in my family: I was going into denial and protecting myself by diverting attention away from the truth.

I came to a point in my life where everything appeared to come to a halt and I felt forced to take a deep look at how I was living my life.

I began having sessions with an Esoteric Healing Practitioner who reflected to me a new way of expressing – with clarity and love, but without the sympathy I was looking for and found when I confided in friends. I found this directness challenging at first until I was willing to open up and start being honest, both with myself and others.

The time spent in the sessions gave me a space in my life where it felt safe to be open and honest, and gradually and very slowly I started to be this way with others.

I have started meeting people at Universal Medicine workshops and events who like me, are learning to take responsibility for their lives and the way they live them. I am learning to express myself in a simple, clear honest way that truly represents who I am inside and who is not afraid of letting other people see my awesomeness. I am not perfect but this does not take away from the fact that I am a beauty-full, power-full and a play-full human being.

When I am in my fullness – in that I am not holding myself back – I am allowing the world to see me fully. Expressing from this place is much more freeing as I allow that tender, precious and play-full ‘me’ to explore and experience the world in a whole new way. In being able to see me fully, others can feel a sense of the fact that I am not hiding any part of myself or my life from them. I am not holding back and guarding myself and consequently others do not have to guess what it is I am feeling and thinking.

In doing so we can relax and be ourselves and have a great time. It feels as though I have wasted a lot of time not being myself!

These changes were inspired by the support of Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and all the amazing esoteric practitioners.

By Susan Lee, Hadleigh, England

Related Reading:
Communicating with, and Talking to People – No longer Calibrating my Expression

611 thoughts on “Expressing Myself and Being True

  1. Thankyou Susan, great to read of your experiences. I liked this line “There was so much blaming as I did not take any responsibility for my part in what was going on.” How true this is for all of us, and how empowering to realise we ourselves can bring the change we seek by making more loving choices in relationships, and in life in general.

  2. Honesty is seriously the best policy… well it’s a very needed starting point anyway. I love the feeling of being honest with myself, it is so freeing and my body just melts, no matter what I’m feeling.

  3. A good dose of self appreciation is always key when getting honest and real with ourselves. Never be hard on ourselves but always holding ourselves instead for the deeply loving beings we are.

  4. As I read your blog Susan, I stopped to appreciate all the Serge Benhayon has gifted me with, awakened in me and as a result, I am able to offer myself to others in a way that I never imagined before. No doubt it is the same for you and countless others. To be shown the truth of who we are is immeasurable in it’s worth.

  5. In allowing ourselves to open up and be honest about how we feel, we are able to take the necessary steps to expressing from our true selves which becomes easier the more open we are.

  6. Playing games that are not honest ones is one of our major specialities. We have a clear feeling what games can we play with whom. It is definitely our right to do so until our last breath. But it is also our responsibility to reflect others that we can only gain if we stop doing so and face life from a different stand.

  7. Sometimes it feels like our ‘friends’ want to be part of a drama that is larger than life and bring us into it to make it even bigger and sometimes these dramas can be ones we have contributed to or even created; recognising this and making it clear that that is not how we want to carry on is crucial. Honouring ourselves in this way honours our ‘friends’ and anyone who is a player in the drama itself and establishes a foundation for “expressing myself and being true”

  8. All around me I see people holding themselves back unable to express honestly how they are truly feeling and instead using words that make it quite clear to the person they are communicating with that they don’t want to go any further, any deeper into how they are feeling. We are born to express, and to express honestly, but somewhere down the track, usually in childhood, our expression gets shut down and in turn so does who we truly are, and as a result not only do we suffer but so do those around us, and the world misses out on our innate amazingness.

  9. It all starts in how we express ourselves to ourselves. Great to also take care and be loving, open and non-judgemental with our inner dialogue.

    1. Yes.. and it all starts with becoming aware of what that inner dialogue actually is, instead of allowing it to run on autopilot.

  10. It’s amazing how we mold the way we express ourselves already in anticipation of how we think they might respond/react, even though we have never met them before, and it really exposes how false some of the ‘connection’ I thought I had when I met them and how that depended on the mutual need feeding back both ways.

  11. When we get caught in playing the victim in life we engage in a game that focuses on our hurts and weaknesses, not our qualities or potential.

    1. Playing the victim in life can be a great distraction and a way to avoid taking the responsibility for our lives and moving forward. Once we clock that this is what we’ve been doing, and how we’ve been perpetuating it, we can start to change our movements and thoughts – and actively switch the focus from self-denigration to self-appreciation.

  12. It is very easy to hide in ‘victim-hood’ and ‘niceness’ the only problem is that we are not dealing with life but rather burying our issues; we are entrapped and enslaved by our choices and the world misses us and we miss the world all usually under the guise of protection.

  13. Being able to express ourselves in full, not in reaction, but with love and understanding, it can be one of life’s biggest challenges. Not allowing the reaction with another person to take a hold and not let it go. This doesn’t serve anyone, it only creates more angst and separation. It is in coming back to a love within first, then that naturally flows onto others.

  14. As long as we hide from our part in life and the beautiful gift each experience offers us to grown and learn, what we say will often come out harsh and judgemental. When we understand exactly what is being offered to us, we tend to speak with ease and grace and in a tender way that can be easily heard. So it seems to me that the key to expression and communication is to listen closely to what you are being shown. Then and only then can you support others to grow. Thank you Susan for what you have shared.

  15. Often we hold back expressing ourselves to be liked or to not rock the boat, this especially happens in work situations where pandering to money and recognition is more important to what is felt as truth. And yet in holding back what is truth, we are choosing to be in a relationship which is abusive to self from the start.

  16. Being truthful and honest with oneself is the best way to move forward. Making choices that are honouring, supports our true expression. As we walk and express with this honesty we inspire other to do the same.

    1. It feels amazingly expansive and spacious when we realise that our movement initiates our expression – we do know this innately for when we feel great in our body and our body flows in ease and grace, we are freer to express our innermost feelings without hindrance.

  17. Watching your expression grow over the last few years Susan has been deeply inspiring. I see you today standing strong in truth and not afraid to express your feelings. Keep shining as your shine inspires all others to do the same.

  18. When we allow ourselves to only see blame we stop ourselves from seeing the part we played and the responsibility that needs to be taken before any truth can be learnt. I have found that in doing so the lesson is just delayed and usually repeated over and over in different ways until we are willing to see and learn what is there for us to grow from. It feels so beautifully freeing to come to the awareness you have and let go of the stories to be able to let go of what held you back and embrace the ‘you’ you now do.

  19. I’m going through a process at the moment were I’m learning not to talk from my hurts. It seems the more I observe and allow myself to see the many hurts, the more I see how many I have allowed in through my lack of true expression in the name of being good or fair. What I’ve learnt is that if I express from love and truth in my fullness I see the hurts for what they are, a false sense of protection that have kept many at arms length and stopped the flow of love between the many I meet.

  20. Expression is everything…the verbal and the non-verbal. We are constantly offered an opportunity to simply express from ourselves without turning our light down and being sensitive enough to recognise when we do express less is a wonderful education in itself.

  21. It’s amazing how much things can start to shift once we let go of investments of needing people to react or respond to us in a certain way.. i.e. once we let go of needing to be accepted or recognised and just allow ourselves to be. Holding onto any pictures or ideas about how we think others need to be for us, so we can feel okay, totally inhibits our natural way of expressing – and gets in the way of the truth.

  22. Your honesty is inspiring Susan. It is interesting to observe, when we are willing take an honest look at the nature of our relationships, that we can often seek to engage in relationship that do not evolve us, allowing us to continue to deny what we are being asked to address. I have discovered and am continuing to learn that when we are willing to embrace the truth and express the truth we feel, we are not only developing an honest and loving relationship with ourselves, based of truth and evolution, but we are also offering this quality of relationship equally with others. As such we are truly being ourselves with all.

  23. What I too have found lately is that when we take the blame away and not go into stories or drama of a situation we are able to gain clarity on why certain things maybe happening in our lives. This clarity also allows the space to observe and feel why we may go into age old patterns or ways of moving that no longer serves us. This allows for greater awareness around our expression and how we choose to move with it or against it.

    1. It is a beautiful marker for us all in our body when we realise that we are letting go of our need to blame – a re-action and not an expression from our soul. As we move closer to embracing our truth then clarity is indeed a great asset as we can see not only ourself but gain a deeper understanding of others. I love the feeling that with clarity we allow ourselves more space to observe and an opportunity to expand our expression and our service to the Universe. When we feel expansive we feel a deeper connection to others and that can be felt by all those around us – we become more united and move closer to living in brotherhood.

  24. If we don’t express who we truly are, then we are not living life – our life we are here to live through our expression. It is hideous that we learn NOT to be ourselves. Simple and important lesson in life Susan – thank you.

  25. Thank you Susan, I feel that a whole new level of awareness of how I can express who I am is knocking on the door after reading your blog again. Knowing that I have to be responsible for making the loving choices in all that I do so my expression can expand to the next level in absolute honesty feels like a commitment I am ready for.

  26. We can speak in a nice and calm way, with a polite and polished turn of phrase, but none of that changes the energy that comes through underneath. So if you are speaking to control others or protect yourself in some way – this manipulation and distortion is the actual result of what you say. What a relief to stop this meddling and just return to simply being us. Thank you Susan for this beautiful and super honest sharing.

    1. I can feel an ouch moment with what you have said here Joseph as I was a past master at the art of manipulation and deception. At the time it felt like the only way to survive was to be ‘polite’ and superficial as the last thing I wanted to do was make waves, not realising that I was not fooling anyone – unless they wanted to join in the grand game of make pretend. What an amazing freedom to be able to begin to let go and be who we truly are – and even more to be able to speak the truth. All that holding back on expression takes up so much energy and space – space that we could be filing with truth and love.

    1. So true Kim – when we let go of the need to be anything other than who we truly are we are indeed free to live life fully and joy-fully with every breath we take.

  27. I have came to realize how I have been obedient in full length to the energy of sympathy. And I am becoming aware of how much energy this has cost me. It is and has been deeply exhausting as I had chosen to do so. The depth of poison that is left inside a body after consuming sympathy, pretending it is caring for another or situation, is very strong. Hence, the exhaustion that sympathy is causing, that each one of us can choose, simply states ‘ being less, is good’. Hence it is an easy catch, as it were my life (and lives before) to invest in sympathy as I would not have to take responsibility for my power. hence I was obedient to the energy that would then fill my body as I had chosen to not do so with my own divine power. Hence the only way to undo the emptiness that drives the spirit to choose sympathy is to bring back responsibility and feel the power it needs to bring.That we need to bring. As only if we choose love, this sympathy has no where to stand and because the choice is made by that person, sympathy will no longer exists in one’s body. This is the truth I will further discover so that I will become fully filled with love and no longer sympathy. The choice is mine.

  28. In friendships we often look for sympathy or a sounding board. But is that true friendship? What if as a friend we called our friends to be all that they are. If they were not taking responsibility we called them out on it. If they were carrying on in drama we exposed that. If someone calls for advice or wants to be heard, is it our responsibility as a friend to hear the deeper call? True love can sometimes be very uncomfortable but in the long run is much more comfortable – even though there is not comfort in it!

  29. “I am not holding back and guarding myself and consequently others do not have to guess what it is I am feeling and thinking.” So many of our reactions to others come from us wanting from others what we do not give to ourselves. It is up to us to express how we feel and think and if we don’t then it is our responsibility to face the consequences.

  30. ‘I have wasted a lot of time not being myself!’ That I can confirm too. I guess for at least 37 years this life I wasted time as every second when we do not express all the love which is available in our heart we are waisting time. And then when we ask ourselves; What can I do about all that is going on in the world? It is clear, love is the only way out of OUR misery. And as long we see the world misery as THEIR misery we are in big problems. As it is brotherhood what will evolve humanity.

    1. Yes, Sylvia – that is truly the case – we have been indulging our misery and hanging on to it convincing ourselves that ‘life is hard’. When we begin to open to love we realise that life is not all about us but about the quality of life that we offer as our part of the Universe. Our vibrations are an integral part of the all and in every movement we are responsible for our part in evolution.

  31. There are so many pictures we hold onto around family and friends that are far from the truth, when we start to be honest and not holding back anymore our expression these ideas can go one by one. Interestingly it is the way we choose to move that determines the quality of our thoughts and how we are with ourselves and others around us.

  32. Expressing is not just expressing. It is also sharing ourselves. It is presenting to others something that serves as reflection that either confirms them or helps them to evolve. Hence, it is very needed and it carries an enormous responsibility.

  33. There is definitely something about just being ourselves – and all of ourselves in our expression and communication with others. I had this experience recently whilst delivering a presentation – I just felt myself being me and sharing myself with the audience. Being me made it possible for those attending to connect with me as a person not just to hear what I was saying. We connected rather than just shared information and the difference was palpable and very beautiful to feel.

  34. I feel like that too Susan. I realise I waste so much time not being myself and even with this realisation the tendency to not be myself is pretty frequent, which doesn’t make a lot of sense. But realising this is a great start and being more aware is a blessing.

  35. What inspires me deeply is when I see people who are the same with everyone, in whatever situation they are in – at work, at home, out shopping etc. They are consistent and steady throughout all of these and do not change what they show to the world depending on who are they are with and what they are doing. Everything is recognised as being one life and so fullness of expression is called for in every moment. As I have allowed in this inspiration instead of feeling jealousy which I felt for some time, I too have begun to be more steady and consistent in myself in the ever changing scenarios and relationships in my life. I have taken the first steps of commitment to bringing and being myself equally for all, and every day I appreciate this more and more as I get to know myself better.

  36. “I would look outside of myself in a critical and judgmental way and choose a subject that would bring up common ground for both of us.” I can also relate to communicating with people in this way Susan and feeling the falsity in it because I was not willing to be open or honest in what I was feeling and with low self-worth I automatically thought I would be rejected so would settle for any form of connection possible.

    1. I understand what you mean when you say ‘I automatically thought I would be rejected so would settle for any form of connection possible’ and reading your words Linda, I am now realising the greater implications of always holding back and the impact this has on the world around me and when I consider this energetically, I can see that I am subscribing to a world where ‘Peace at any price’ is the cost we seem to be willing to pay. No wonder the world is in such turmoil when almost no one is willing to stand for truth and honesty. As we come to terms with our part in any situation we can begin to live more responsibly and honourably and at harmony with ourselves and with others.

  37. So many of us seem to spend so much time and precious energy pretending to be someone that we are not instead of showing the world exactly who we are. Is this because we are so busy playing so many different roles in our lives, adapting to the situation around us, that we forget who we truly are; the beautiful being that does not need to pretend to be anything because we know who we are and live all of us in everyone moment.

    1. It definitely feels like that to me Ingrid – I know that this is how I have lived the greater part of my life – hiding who I truly am, being afraid to be me in a world that didn’t feel safe. I feel I was picking up the messages that no one was willing to honestly and literally say how they were feeling. As you say we have spent so much time pretending to be other than who we truly are that we have lost touch with reality. It does feel awesome to now have the opportunity to begin to unravel this complicated way of living and return again to being open and true to our innate essence.

  38. There is nothing more powerful and magnificent than being ourselves, and it is through the constant appreciation and confirmation of who we are that allows us to create a new normal inspiring others to be themselves.

  39. There is a transparency isn’t there when you are not hiding, simply being yourself. There is so much less tension of what is not being said. Well worth giving a go!

  40. Gorgeous blog thank you Susan; expressing to ourselves first and then to others is the key and as you say so freeing;
    “Expressing from this place is much more freeing as I allow that tender, precious and play-full ‘me’ to explore and experience the world in a whole new way”.

  41. This is a beautiful sharing Susan, being more real and honest with everyone allows for our relationships to deepen and grow, transparency is the key and the more we embrace this quality we also empower others to choose this as well.

    1. Not surprisingly this process began with Serge Benhayon – before meeting him I felt constantly guarded. It was his openness and love that encouraged me to begin to let go – who could resist when presented with such a man of equality and integrity as well as a natural warmth and grace that invites others to expand their experience of life.

  42. You raise some really great points here through your candidness about the way you’ve dealt with life and expressed to others Susan, thank-you.
    How much of ‘the world’ actually runs on offloading our blame, frustration, pain… seeking a sympathetic ear and/or to sympathise ourselves – and yet never truly stepping ourselves out of the malaise we are in, in the first place?
    To be willing to go the ‘deeper step’, and look to the part we play in what is going on in our lives, what we ourselves are allowing, where we are holding back on that which we know to be true… is to seek true healing. And therein lies the actual empowering point of choice if we wish to make it – do we truly want to heal, and deal with that which founds our hurts in life, or would we prefer the seeming ‘familiarity’ of ‘the known’ in terms of the daily angst, blaming others and stimulation that is derived from offloading that which we don’t truly want to deal with… It is all, always, our call.

  43. Thank you Susan, I feel we have all been there in one way or another struggling to express who we truly are. I have found that it is really a reflection of the relationship we have with ourselves, when I am connected to my inner-most, my expression has a far greater natural flow to it.

    1. Yes, I feel I know what you mean – and sometimes it nows feels that I was struggling to hide what cannot be hidden which is quite ridiculous in retrospect. When I come back to myself and the natural flow returns I wonder why would I want to be any other way? It feels so beautiful as we all support one another to expand our experience and become bolder and less protective – and to appreciate just how awesome we are.

  44. Thing is, all relationships effect all relationships. As much as we try we can’t actually section off one relationship from another. Effectively, how we are in one relationship we bring to the others – so if we choose to not be ourselves we are first effecting our inner relationship which is then expressed to all external ones.

    1. So beautiful to read your comment Rachel – and so true as we cannot compartmentalise our lives. When we realise that we can no longer live in isolation we begin to understand that our inner relationship is our connection to God and to our soul – and from there we can truly connect to all others.

    2. So true Rachel. I used to think I could live in a compartmentalised way, but everything I do, affects everything else I do, and that’s definitely the case with relationships. If our primary relationship, the one with ourselves is solid, then all others will flow from there.

  45. Expressing can be simple if we first let go of judgement, blame and hurts and see the truth for what it is. When we compartmentalise our lives we shut ourselves off from observing what is really going on around us. This then stops our full expression and halts our evolvement. Expressing freely and honestly from the connection of our bodies is simplicity in movements and that is something to be treasured and explored as we move and shift throughout our lives.

  46. A beautiful blog to read Susan. On reading the changes you have made in your living and way of being, I can resonate with just how ‘time-wasting’ it is to not be in connection with my innermost essence. In enjoying this re-connection, time disappears and there is a gorgeous and harmonious feeling of spaciousness in my day.
    “It feels as though I have wasted a lot of time not being myself!”

  47. What great observations of old behaviours Susan and exposing it in different area’s of your life. This was also an observation of myself and prompted the reflection of ‘who am I?’. There is an essence so clear, pure and loving that is always constant within each of us – what’s going on that we are not choosing to live from this place in every moment? Becoming aware of old repeating patterns is the first step in challenging and discarding what is not true. I love your honesty, openness and willingness to challenge these old patterns, discovering your truth and now living it everyday in the world.

  48. Getting honest with ourselves is a great starting point Susan, and I too found that having healing session offered me a space where I felt it was safe to be honest. From there I developed a more loving relationship with myself that then rippled out into how I was with others.

  49. Recently I’ve realised a different twist on the situation you describe Susan. I’m glad to be open, loving and allowing with other people that I meet, but my partner is not gifted the same qualities when I get home. She is nit-picked and critiqued for every last detail as if she should be perfect in order to be in relationship with me. The further thing I realised though is if I don’t extend open arms and heart to her, then in truth I don’t truly bring that other people either, just a much ‘nicer’ version of the judgement she receives. A big ouch to feel.

  50. A great sharing Susan with much truth in it. I feel I have often held back expressing clearly what I feel . This then is quite frustrating for myself and possibly others who are then confused as to my stance on a situation. This is clearly not honouring myself.

  51. There can be so much blame and pain in what we say. It might seem true and real, but when we speak from a hurt we just magnify this point so it becomes a big deal, when in truth it’s just a speck in the context of life. Getting to know a quality of harmony in your body and checking if you are speaking from that, is a great way to express I have found. Thank you Susan for outing these ways we have of ‘speaking out’ but bringing ourselves and others down.

  52. To be able to honestly look at the patterns of communication and how one can measure the volumes of who they are in different situations is a very needed step towards having a relationship with yourself and the uniqueness of ones own expression.

  53. When we hold back from expressing ourselves, it is always a contractionary impact on our body especially on our heart. I find when being more open with others it is literally great Medicine for the heart and the entire body.

  54. I think we all need to step up in being far more responsible in every aspect of our lives, the first step is to recognise where we have a lack of responsibility, ‘There was so much blaming as I did not take any responsibility for my part in what was going on.’

  55. It is so common that we have different faces and manners for different situations, but this requires to put on an act all the time, and that is exhausting. So to allow ourselves to be the way we are in any given moment is very freeing and brings back vitality and joy into life, but it is a step by step process to let go of the many pictures and roles we think we need to conform to.

    1. That is certainly the way it feels to me – a very gradual and beauty-full unfolding of who we innately are as we embrace our sacredness and feel that deeply within – and then some more, as this is an ongoing process with no beginning and no end, but a spherical way to live in harmony.

  56. We really do have a choice as to whether we continue to blame others for our life or look at our lives and take responsibility for what we do not like. The choice is ours.

    1. And once we grasp this poignant point we can begin the process of unfolding – and appreciating responsibility for the very beautiful blessings that it brings.

  57. Holding back our full expression in any relationship actually affects all our relationships, no matter how ‘open’ we think we are being with any other one in our lives. That isn’t to say it is appropriate to say all we are aware of to everyone as the expression is not for our personal benefit, but I find the level of connection I have with myself will determine how discerning I am in what is there to say, and what is not to say.

  58. There were many things Susan that I enjoyed and sung in my body (6 points = Love):
    1. Relax and be ourselves and have a great time.
    2. Not holding myself back (this is absolute in what it offers).
    3. I am allowing the world to see me fully.
    4. Express myself in a simple, clear honest way.
    5. Represents who I am inside and who is not afraid of letting other people see my awesomeness.
    6. I am a beauty-full, power-full and a play-full human being.
    Expression is Everything.

  59. Who are we?, really who are we? I remember this question popping up in my life many times, who am I? It usually came on the back of something going wrong or astray. If things were going well then it wasn’t as loud, if things were going not so well then in came the question, loud. This was usually a point I changed direction with something, usually trying the opposite. It was like, ‘that didn’t work and so it must be this’. There was no true stop point to look at what was truly going on, instead you would just change feet and go again. It was like my life was on repeat and I could see that but it wasn’t possible, was it. So many things I knew and yet they weren’t quite clear enough for me to grab them. Universal Medicine has supported me to bring the things I knew clear and in this way the pattern doesn’t repeat.

  60. When we look back and see how much time we have wasted not being true to ourselves we have to use it as a catalyst to make sure we remain true to ourselves now.

    1. So true Elizabeth, we do really need to use this as a catalyst to remain true to ourselves now, as most of us have wasted alot of time not being true to ourselves.

  61. When we choose to be honest with ourselves we realise how much we are able to calibrate our expression in different situations in life seeking comfort in a pattern to hide and treat ourselves as less. This is always felt by others even if they are not consciously aware of it and does not allow for a deeper and truer connection as we are holding a part of ourselves back.

  62. Thanks Susan, great to read this again. Your point about sympathy being normal and directness something to get used to, incuding the honesty that comes with that, is a very good point. I must admit I’m quite used to it now and enjoy it but your words have helped me to understand how the majority of people converse.

  63. If we do not express ourselves in full, like keeping some doors close but impress the others as we put some doors open, it is still felt by all that we are not fully transparent which makes a layer in between you an the other what is in between the intimacy both can have together.

    1. It is deeply sad that we live so much of our lives in a way that essentially keeps everyone away from being with our essence.

  64. Today I’ve met a lot of new people I will be working with over the next couple of years. So reading this ‘ we can relax and be ourselves and have a great time. It feels as though I have wasted a lot of time not being myself!’ is very lovely and confirming of what happens when I do connect with me and express.

    1. Julie, so true we don’t realise how we carry around ideals and beliefs that we get stuck in as often we don’t know or have been exposed to another way. It is only when we see a true reflection of something different does it awaken the truth within us.

  65. There is such a game being played when we alter our expression with the groups of people we live and work with. A chameleon approach can often leave one feeling on edge and constantly compromising the natural expression that comes from within.

  66. When we are just ourselves then how we are with others remains consistent, which then builds trust in our relationships.

  67. We can try on different shapes and sizes with family , friends, work colleagues, but often it
    ‘same same but different’ … an old familiar pattern and way of being without truly expressing who we are and what we feel. It takes honesty to move beyond this and to allow those awkward pauses where we just be and not jump into that old familiar conversation but simply allow ourselves and others to simply be and let go a picture of what we think it and we should be.

    1. Letting go of the pictures is a wonderful place to begin with letting go of old perceptions, patterns and ideals, and allowing others the space to be their true selves.

  68. To become aware of the use of sympathy and the victim cycle we can get stuck in, is the beginning of being more honest with what we are really feeling and then the judgment and blame on others begins to dissipate. A true and deep healing thus occurs.

    1. Yes, Stephanie – what we need to do to change our relationships is really quite simple and yet we make it complicated and stuck. Honesty brings an opportunity for a new beginning and expansion as we let go of old patterns that have held us in their grip while we were choosing to not let go.

  69. Great to read Susan, it so easy to blame others for our relationship issues, rather than looking at self and taking responsibility for the way we are living and the choices we are making. There is so much to learn and unfold in how we live and that is the first step to building a truer relationship with self and others.

    1. A ‘truer relationship with self’ is the key to all our problems and something that many seem to avoid. When life goes wrong we look outside for solace and that is one big distraction from meeting our soul and taking that relationship deeper.

  70. Allowing ourselves to be is very empowering because it’s as if we release the shackles of protection and or hurts to bring more honesty to not only ourselves but to all others also. It shows openness and transparency which then holds others in this way, giving them the space to also feel themselves in full too.

  71. This is a such a profound reminder, one that has been sounded through the ages, of the truth that our relationship with who we are within in the foundation for the nature in which we experience all other relationships, including life itself. When truth and love are our foundations, it is these qualities that we meet the world with, where real relationships are explored, and evolution is our natural progression.

  72. Your simple, open and honest way of expressing is carried through in your writing, Sue, and it is very beautiful, loving and humbling to feel.

  73. Taking responsibility for our part in relationships rather than blaming others when they are not working is the cornerstone to developing true, meaningful and loving ones.

  74. I used to think that I expressed myself really well but as you say “There was so much blaming as I did not take any responsibility for my part in what was going on.” and in that there was no true expression from my part just a verbal dumping of all the things in life that I did not agree with or in truth that did not suit my way of coping.

  75. I like what you are sharing here, no one has to guess what I am thinking or feeling, what a wonderful way to live free of the games that seem to be the norm in most relationships as you described.

  76. Thank you Susan, We can quickly focus on that which is not from truth and be judgemental on ourselves when we can instead focus on the what is and create a natural flow for us to live from in connection to the divine.

  77. To be open and honest when expressing has never felt safe to do or be for me in the past, I am now understanding there is a truth to be spoken and lived and that this lies within me and when i open up to express from this place true relationships can be fostered and developed.

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