Two years ago I started my own business. This was a really scary thing for me at the time. I was 19 and just fresh out of school so still developing my confidence, both on a personal level and when it came to me in the world of business. My school friends were all still very much a part of my life, affecting every choice that I made so I felt as though I was still there at school, kept in a bubble. I made a slight commitment to build my business but was still very much affected by everyone else’s opinions. I did naturally work well with people so of course I did well with my business… but something happened. After two months and business going great, with lack of support and negativity from my friends on what I had chosen for myself, I freaked out…
From the outside it seemed like I was doing just fine; on the inside however, I was living off anxiety and nervousness. I would hype myself up to call someone or visit someone. The huge sugar addiction I was relying on to keep me going throughout the day was making me feel very racy. Every time I thought of speaking to someone about my business I would get sick in the stomach; every time I made a call and they were too busy to talk I would feel as though I’d failed. I started to focus on all the things I was ‘bad’ at (when in truth I wasn’t bad at any of them). I started to get frustrated, and disappointed that all of a sudden I wasn’t doing so well: I was consumed by doubts and self-sabotaging thoughts… I was losing confidence in myself.
With all of this going on, it got too much. I was sick, exhausted all the time, not looking after myself and no longer enjoying working in my own business, so after only two months I stopped.
2 YEARS LATER
Over the past two years I have been attending workshops and courses by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. I realised that I was not living in a very joyful way, and even though I stopped my business I still lived with the same anxiety and nervousness, fuelled by the intense sugar amounts I was consuming. But with the support of the Esoteric practitioners I started to change some bad habits.
It was approximately two months ago that I completely gave up sugar. Having lived so long with sugar as my driving fuel, it took some weeks for my body to recover from the ‘pick me up’ that sugar would give me. I realised how tired I was and started to make more loving choices for myself – which included resting when I was tired and not pushing through – or reaching for sugar to save me. I had to start feeling my body; it felt exhausted and I was only 20 years old!
Through small changes, and the decrease in my sugar intake I noticed I had more energy – I was able to wake up earlier and felt amazing throughout the day. Now no longer suffering from nervousness all the time, this change also gave me a confidence in myself, a steadiness.
Three weeks ago I was at work and I thought to myself “it’s time to go back into business”. The impulse was so strong I couldn’t argue with it and the doubt couldn’t sway me. I felt so much commitment in the decision I had just made and decided to re-imprint how I have previously worked in my business. To start with I decided that a balance with work/study/social/family and ‘me time’ was extremely important as I didn’t want to crash and burn like I had done previously. So I spoke to my whole family and told them that this would take some time to get the momentum back and that I have a busy time ahead and might miss some family dinners. I organised with my esoteric healing practitioner to have regular sessions to ensure I don’t lose myself in the process. I’ve committed to doing business training and development so that I am prepared. Most importantly I have accepted that not only do my customers get the benefits my business can offer, they also get me. My commitment to myself to support myself is key so that they get ALL of me in FULL.
SO WHAT DOES THIS LOOK LIKE?
This for me means waking up a little earlier; preparing or cooking dinner to take with me if I’m going to be home later; bringing a change of clothes to change into after work if I am unable to go straight home, and resting when I need to so that I can be an example to those I come in contact with and who chose to work with me. To show that it IS possible to work full time, build a business part-time, study part-time, while still having time for my family, my partner, and most importantly time to nurture myself.
This has been such a beautiful journey, learning and growing my confidence and my business, and I thank Universal Medicine for their support. I am not perfect and I still have the occasional doubts but they are never as strong as they were two years ago and I can’t hold onto them for long. Each and every new day brings another opportunity for me to bring ME to the world, and in doing this it has been amazing to see how the world supports me back.
By Rebekah Muntelwit – Age 21 – Mackay QLD