A Home without Compromise

Over the years, I have certainly compromised my own feelings – for others, for situations, to fit in or be liked – but whatever the reason, it was a choice made to settle for less than what felt right for me and honouring of me, overriding what felt loving, supportive and settling for whatever amount of love I thought I deserved at the time, an amount always measured by my own measure of self-worth. But when I am full of self-worth, when I know how beautiful I really am and there is absolutely nothing to be measured, then the love I can hold myself and others in and even my home, is immeasurable and without compromise.

Recently whilst searching for a rental property, my friend and I discovered that not only were we looking for much more than a roof over our heads and an address to call ‘home’, we were committed and open to learning more about ourselves, the ideals and pictures we have carried around about our houses and the unending depth of self-healing and self-development that was presenting great opportunity for change.

There were many homes which ‘would do just fine’— almost completely supportive and comfortable homes – often however, with one seemingly small thing that didn’t quite fit: the interior was new, but the street noise was loud… only a hop and a skip to work, but next door was a building site with a crane hanging overhead… or the simplest feeling that we couldn’t put our finger on, that ‘something just didn’t feel quite right’ – so compromising on our feelings did not feel to be an option.

Trusting What We Feel Without Compromise

We could have easily allowed ourselves to be swept up in the time frame we were subject to, or boxed ourselves into specific suburbs that we thought we liked or knew: we could have settled for a house without a dishwasher (because ideally that could be seen as a luxury to many people) – but most importantly as no home is perfect, we could have easily compromised and accepted and settled for a new home that didn’t feel right for us both.

How many times have we done this… and in all areas of life? How many times have we gone along with something or someone, even though there was a feeling in ourselves that was asking for the space for our honesty, to trust and to honour our feelings? Perhaps completely different choices would have been made.

What we were able to expose for ourselves in our house-hunting was just how comfortable the pictures really are of where we think we should be and what we think things should look like, but how the pictures can actually leave us feeling restricted or stuck in our everyday living, out of harmony in our otherwise natural flow and development within life and held back from our innate yearning to evolve ourselves and be more of who we truly are.

What we found in our new home was that nothing needed to be physically perfect but that saying yes only to what we knew felt right was saying no to compromise. By doing this we found a home that felt truly supportive of us and our daily routines, rituals and rhythms.

In finding a new home that feels supportive and practical for our family who will live and visit there, it is clear to see that a loving home is simply a reflection of the quality that is being lived between its four walls. When I connect to the warmth and love that exists vibrantly within my own heart, I know what loving choices I can make to support my everyday way of living – to bring that warmth through my livingness each day, to my home, my family and far beyond without compromise.

Through being inspired by the presentations of Serge Benhayon, and Universal Medicine I now know that my true home resides in my inner heart and daily it guides my every way. When I hear it I know just what I feel, but when I truly listen – I know a love and a joy that won’t settle for anything less.

By Cherise Holt, 31, Nurse, Brisbane

You may also be interested in:
Learning to Express Our Feelings part 2

735 thoughts on “A Home without Compromise

  1. Thank you Cherise – compromising is the false and accepted form that resides in family life. Hence we should question the truth about family and what we have convinced ourselves it to be.

    1. Very important question to consider Danna. In some cultures, compromise is how some show their love, how they express that they care. There is no right or wrong, or that this is true for us but like sport can be a big thing in families so can compromising.

  2. When we settle for nothing less then what we feel is confirming can also mean we can outgrow our house.

    1. Indeed! We can feel that a house can hold us back in our expansion. Literally, I feel how compromising it is to bend my body, when I go through a doorway. That is not only energeically compromising, but also physically.

  3. So even when we have a home it is constant feeling if this home is still the right home. We can work on evolving a house, but there is an end limit to it, and then it is the time to move on.

  4. I’ve been paying more attention to all the subtle and more obvious ways I compromise. In the past I would have thought of compromise as something you do between two people, or more, and that it was a good thing to compromise… like working together. A big one this week was taking back our new car when I saw that it had been scratched from before we bought it. To start with there was no way I was holding back from taking it to the car dealership and for them to repair it. But it was interesting how coming closer to the time, I could feel an old pattern of ‘it’s all too hard’ and ‘we shouldn’t make a fuss’ come up, which was so clearly asking us to compromise. In the end I saw through it and took the car in, explained what had happened and the Manager could not be more supportive and never once doubted that it happened and is repairing it. It’s amazing what transpires when we claim ourselves and don’t compromise away from truth.

  5. It’s seems that the first thing we do is compromise ourselves when we don’t listen to and follow our true feelings and expression. It may seem like it’s happening in the outer world after we make a choice, and it is, but it’s happening inside ourselves first.

  6. I remember when we found the current house we live in, we were thinking of our extended family and having space for them to come and stay as well. It took a lot of time and dedication to find the right space for our budget, and there were many times when we could have compromised, but eventually the perfect one for us came on the market.

  7. Many people settle for less than what they know is true or honours them, and it is often connected with their lack of self worth, ‘ settling for whatever amount of love I thought I deserved at the time, an amount always measured by my own measure of self-worth.’

  8. Our true home resides in our inner heart, lovely Cherise, ‘I now know that my true home resides in my inner heart and daily it guides my every way.’

  9. Even in the very definition of the word it means to accept less for all parties. If I don’t compromise on how I feel everyone receives the joy I feel or the understanding I can bring through following my feelings.

  10. The last time I moved house I was quite surprised at the process. Before I walked into the house I knew it was my house. There were many things that I didn’t like about the house and it definitely didn’t fit my picture. I got quite focused on what I didn’t’ like but I still knew it was my house. I now own the house and when I think back to how I was I am so surprised as I love the house and it is a huge support.

  11. Yes settling for less than what is true is commonplace, so much so that ‘normal human life’ is based on it. Perhaps a full review is required to truly examine how we live as a society and whether less than true has ever truly worked or ever will.

  12. Attending presentations by Serge Benhayon has opened awareness to the possibility of living from the truth of our innermost essence. As old hurts and traumas are exposed and healed, so too are the perceived self worth issues deconstructed as the falsity they are – any measurement or comparison fades away from holding this foundation of love.
    “when I am full of self-worth, when I know how beautiful I really am and there is absolutely nothing to be measured, then the love I can hold myself and others in and even my home, is immeasurable and without compromise”.

  13. This is really key for a self loving foundation, “the space for our honesty, to trust and to honour our feelings”. You have made some great points about how we can make our way through life adhering to pictures, yet if it doesn’t feel right we are compromising. I also appreciated how you expressed that to constantly feel what’s true and to honour that builds a love that carries through to be warmly felt in all areas of life, including the home. Each moment, each decision counts.

  14. What struck me today was about finding comfort in pictures. Reading this I can say that yes I have believed to find comfort in pictures, but the experience of how my body feels about pictures has been anything but comfortable in the sense of comfort being a desirable or place once can relax. My body feels very tense when I am holding onto pictures.

  15. Yes, I agree Cherise, we certainly have to feel if a home is constellated for us or if it not as we can feel the difference and therefore it is working against ourselves to compromise.

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