I recently had a big blip of a downer… I was tired, hating my job, had lost confidence in my ability to do anything well and . . . well, you know the kind of day I mean. Was I just suffering that ‘Monday Morning Feeling’ or was something deeper going on?
At work, when colleagues asked me the usual question, ‘Are you alright?’, I surprised them by saying ‘No, I’m not.’
It took them by surprise for two reasons: firstly, because they were expecting the usual ‘Yes thanks… you?’ answer to that question, and secondly, it was unusual for me to answer negatively, and they said ‘That’s not like you.’
This response from my colleagues helped me to realise that it wasn’t the true ‘me’ who was speaking. The true me is joyful, playful and fun to be around. The person speaking at work that day was an old me; one who wallowed in self-pity and blamed everyone except herself for what was wrong in her life – the job, the hours, the boss etc.
‘OK,’ I thought, ‘so it’s not the real me’. Why? How have I allowed myself to be less than who I truly am? As I looked back on the days preceding that particular Monday, I recalled it was a collection of events that had left me feeling tired and had taken me away from my true self.
Not only that, but my house had been getting messier and messier and I was avoiding clearing it, and my wake-up and going-to-bed times were all over the place. It wasn’t due to the late shifts I occasionally work, because I was going to bed late on my days off too.
And then I twigged – I’d given more importance to all the things I felt I had to do instead of being aware of my body and nurturing the real me.
I need a sense of rhythm in my life, a regular commitment to self-care that serves as my foundation and supports me throughout my day, no matter what I do or what hours I work.
There are many small ways in which I can do this – making sure I wash up after meals so that my kitchen is clean and ready for the next meal; keeping my bedroom tidy so that it is a restful place to sleep; switching off my computer earlier so I can wind down ready for sleep.
In the mornings I can wake up with a sense of appreciation of who I am and what I feel, go for a walk, and do gentle exercises to stretch my ageing body and keep it mobile.
These are all things I am doing, but not every day on a regular basis. The words that come to mind are COMMITMENT and CONSISTENCY – I need to commit to ME, the True Me and be consistent in these little self-loving ways so that I create a solid foundation of support for myself.
This is very much a work-in-progress because changing old patterns and ways of being, without self-judgment or criticism, is tricky. Appreciating and putting me first helps me to be strong enough to support others. It’s not selfish, it is essential self-care.
When I look after myself, keep my environment tidy and don’t try to do too much, then I am far less exhausted and, amazingly, can do far more. My energy is consistently steady, every day feels the same – joyful and fun, and there is no more ‘Monday Morning Feeling’.
My thanks go to Serge Benhayon, Natalie Benhayon, Simone Benhayon and Sara Williams, whose loving support has helped me to understand the importance of setting a good foundation and a consistent loving rhythm in my life.
By Carmel Reid, Somerset, UK
From Exhaustion and Feeling False to Feeling Vital and Truly Looking After Myself
674 thoughts on “That Monday Morning Feeling – Not Living the True Me”
It was a good to read this blog again, it reminded me of how important it is that we continue committing to our wellbeing. And as we commit more, it becomes more and more refined as we discover another part of our livingness that needs that love and care.
It kind of feels that once we build that foundation, then another point is exposed and needs that love and attention. I love how it is forever developing and unfolding.
Carmel I’m understanding more and more of what ‘living the true me’ means. Life is different when we are not constantly coming from the doing all the time. There is a different way to be and that is from being responsible for how we live and it affecting everything around us. When I’m out everything is a burden, when I’m with myself, there is oodles of energy. This energy is like no other, not stimulated, not artificial, it’s natural and ready to serve the world.
What a great reminder that when we show our true selves more and more, people get to meet the real you. The reflection for others to give permission to be them too. It only requires the one for another to be the one too…
Expanding what you have shared Carmel how important is it to Walk 👯♂️Your Talk 💏 and thus be Absoulutely honest in all we do.
Absolutely Greg, ‘walk your talk’, and when you do, people know the difference. It either repels them or inspires them, it is that simple.
It’s interesting how when we ask people how they are, the expectation is that their response is going to be that they are always well.
I had a similar experience at work whilst I was concentrating on something I needed to do as I walked along the corridor. A colleague passing by, said morning to me and asked why wasn’t I smiling. So I stopped and asked why it was important for me to smile every time I passed anyone? The response was interesting, because if I smiled then they knew they were going to be ok!…
Irrespective of how we live, there are many expectations we place upon ourselves and each other. How to behave, what to say etc…How we live has an impact on these expectations so we don’t end up conforming to the many. I agree that ‘ commitment and consistence’ are essential to live in a self-loving way so we can offer these reflections to others, whether they accept these reflections is a different story altogether. We, in the mean time continue to make the commitment to continue on.
Less effort but more jobs done! How is that for magic when we surrender to the body’s simple ways?!
I absolutely love this realisation: “When I look after myself, keep my environment tidy and don’t try to do too much, then I am far less exhausted and, amazingly, can do far more. My energy is consistently steady, every day feels the same – joyful and fun, and there is no more ‘Monday Morning Feeling’.” – the crazy thing is that when we do surrender to not trying too hard, then things are less exhausting and we really do get so much more done! Less means more in this case!
I agree, I don’t have those ‘Monday Morning Feeling’ anymore. Because my attitude towards work has changed, and the key to living in such a way is supportive 24/7. It is far from perfect but it is much better to how it used to be, dreading Sunday evenings as Monday was round the corner, to loving going to work. Now that’s a transformation to appreciate…
Carmel, I love what you have shared here – this is something I too have to be vigilant about as it is easy for me to fall into the trap of getting things done and making this a priority over being with my body and staying gentle in quality: “I’d given more importance to all the things I felt I had to do instead of being aware of my body and nurturing the real me.”
The state of our living environment, office desk or even things like our cars, handbags/backpacks can be a great indicator of how we are living. I know if I let things slide in other parts of life, cleaning up also slides. The reverse also helps, if I am out, giving something a clean, bringing order back in can help the other areas of life as well.
Taking care of ourselves, and our environment is a wise choice, ‘When I look after myself, keep my environment tidy and don’t try to do too much, then I am far less exhausted and, amazingly, can do far more. My energy is consistently steady, every day feels the same – joyful and fun, and there is no more ‘Monday Morning Feeling’.’
Building a rhythm of commitment and consistency supports us when we feel the force of the wind against us.
Committing to ourselves is a great choice to make, ‘I need to commit to ME, the True Me and be consistent in these little self-loving ways so that I create a solid foundation of support for myself.’
“I need to commit to ME, the True Me and be consistent in these little self-loving ways so that I create a solid foundation of support for myself.” It’s surprising how resistant I can be to self love at times, it’s confounding really that the very thing that truly supports me is at times avoided. It’s a very distinct unloving energy behind these choices, a waywardness that is addicted to the misery and drama, and often I’m avoiding the hurts that can come from others negative reactions to me when I’m living in my fullness and shining bright… however it’s all quite illogical because there is no joy like living the love I am!
We often give importance to the things we do rather than how we’ve been. Only yesterday a group of us were commenting on the satisfaction of ‘getting everything done’, how at the end of the day we looked back to see what we’ve achieved and yet, were we completely with ourselves throughout the day? That’s what we need to be assessing.
‘Abuse is anything that is not love.’ Judging another is not love, it is wanting them to be different from who they naturally are. We can express the potential we see in them but we have no right to try to change them for how they live is their choice. But we can inspire them by the way we live, so it is better to focus in the quality of our behaviour and not theirs.
Well said Brendan, it is great to be reminded of the importance of even the small steps we take with self-love and self-care, as they all build towards a solid foundation.
If I start to drop the ball on my self-care routine it doesn’t take long for me to not feel as loving and honouring of my body, consistency and commitment is definitely key to building a loving rhythm that supports us everyday.
It was funny today, several people met me and said, ‘Hi how are you?’ and today I surprised them by saying ‘I’m feeling really good’ – it surprised me too, we are so used to that ‘urgh I’m OK (sigh)’ kind of response that reflects how we are feeling about life that when we feel really great it takes us and everyone else by surprise.
The how are you/I am fine dialogue is what I call an auto-pilot response we have all learned to do, so any way that we can genuinely change this spunks things up and helps us all come back to the moment and actually be the pilot. Sometimes I like to say in reply ‘Super good’ or ‘Well, very well thank you’ or ‘fantastic’ to have fun and to see how another responds.
I find if I’m alert and responsive to my body, my whole day is a discovery, and the more I respond – ie look after myself – the more lovely it gets.
There is a build up to ‘that Monday morning feeling’ that starts with how we feel on the previous days. Getting to that Monday feeling is hard work that requires consistency.
I appreciate the comments about building solid foundations of self care that will support us through our darkest hours. It is challenging to stay connected 100% of the time but it is a choice. By choosing to move tenderly I can maintain connection through the delicateness and fragility that is my natural way.
Foundations support us on those days that are more intense, and there will be those days. Yet when there is a solid foundation we maintain the ability to observe rather than absorb and so there is less potential to feel ‘battered’ by the day.
When I’m feeling out of sorts and a bit disconnected, it’s a sign that I’ve just stepped away from who I am, and the fastest way to get back to that solid and knowing feeling of sure-footedness, is to take deeper care. Not in a pandering, self-indulgent way, but making sure that the details are attended to and I’m looking after myself on every level, from how I move around, to the thoughts that I allow in.
I agree Bryony, those days where we feel slightly off or slightly out of sorts simply require a deeper level of care – that’s often the thing that’s slipped for me where I’ve focused too much on work or something else and forgotten how amazing and important my body is.
I find allowing vulnerability and acknowledging that I am actually off is a much needed reality check for me find a way back to truly connecting with myself. My body speaks louder than how I like to think I am managing.
Returning to this blog a year later, by way of an update, I am now living in Australia with a new partner and life is very different. I am not doing any paid work at the moment, but I’m volunteering a few hours each week and loving that. Despite all my great plans, I still have a long way to go in terms of the quality I live in. I am certainly learning to be more gentle, more loving in everything I do, but every now and then catch myself walking hard up a hill or putting hand cream on a bit too hard, or overeating almonds. I know that all I have to do is be more deeply self loving and these glitches will resolve themselves.
I used to run a mile from responsibility and commitment preferring to just float along and do as I please, this didn’t evolve me in anyway and in fact I was quite miserable. So much has changed for me since building a solid foundation, for starters I have more energy and zest for life, consistency and responsibility have been key with this and has supported me to feel more steady and accepting of others and myself.
The more we can appreciate the consistency and commitment that we have already incorporated into our lives and effortlessly so, the more easily we can add to what is already there. For example, when I was younger I would avoid brushing my teeth whereas these days I am much more particular and they get brushed every morning and evening and I use picketers in between to clear food particles to keep my gums healthy. I shower at least once every day, sometimes twice, so my basic self care routine is already in place.
Being consistent throughout our day is a much steadier and less tiring way to live rather than off the emotional highs and lows that only serve to drive us to exhaustion.
Consistency and commitment I find difficult at times as I can let things slip, like with my walking which I can commit to but then allow things to take me off track this is where I need more consistency which helps build a strong foundation.
We can create all sorts of ways to hold ourselves back, to play small, to not express. We doubt ourselves and in doing so, dis-honour what we feel. When we express what we feel we are acknowledging the truth that is held in our bodies and people will feel it.
“How have I allowed myself to be less than who I truly am?” Consistency and commitment to love pulls us back to who we truly are.
I don’t work full time, I have a couple of days a week when I volunteer but the rest of my time is free and I can work on projects that have no specific deadlines. This suits me as I am adjusting to life in a new country and being in a new relationship and am learning to cope with the heat and the back-to-front seasons. Most mornings I wake feeling OK but some mornings I wake feeling very sluggish and have to backtrack to see what happened the day before – what did I eat, how well did I sleep and also what was happening in the day? It enables me to look at my choices and see where I can adjust, maybe do some more exercise or be more regular in my routine.
We are more than humans and we get affected not just by what goes on in our plane of life. We have to be more aware of what happens to us when we get nudged. We say yes to it through our movements. We come back to old patterns still stored somewhere because they have served us before even if they do not do anything (good) for us really.
It all comes back to our movements, being consistently gentle, moving with grace, expressing in a way that feels harmonious, never judging, only observing and expressing with love, observing ourselves, learning but never being critical, simple ways of living that can change the world.
Completion is an important ingredient of not getting tired or exhausted.
Everything we do and the quality of life we live is a reflection of the what we align to, our relationship with the love we are within, and the degree in which we live in connection to as such guided by our essence.
Consistency is a beautiful thing in life. It provides a great foundation and then when we do have a wobble or something comes along to knock us, it is much easier for us to see what is going on and to come back to the truth of how we live.
When we allow ourselves to slip back into old patterns then it is easy to let everything slide. Our commitment needs to be unwavering and when we do backslide, it is important to understand why, are we resisting our own evolution? No need for self recriminations, just more understanding as we read the truth of what is unfolding for us.
Consistency of all those daily choices we know work for us is essential, it’s still a challenge for me at times though to really commit to everything I know is good for me. The reality is though that I am either committed and consistent with all that benefits me, or with all that does not!
This is lovely to bring into your mornings Carmel, ‘In the mornings I can wake up with a sense of appreciation of who I am and what I feel, go for a walk, and do gentle exercises to stretch my ageing body and keep it mobile.’
I love your realisation, so important and one I have to keep reminding myself of ‘ I’d given more importance to all the things I felt I had to do instead of being aware of my body and nurturing the real me.’
I used to think rhythm meant getting up at the same time each day but there is more to it than that, staying steady, feeling our body and consistently honouring what we feel is important too.
A strong and ever-evolving rhythm provides the foundation for what the day, any day brings, be it a Monday or Thursday or the weekend. Our rhythm stops the wild fluctuations in energy levels and brings consistency and a great solidness.
What a gem Carmel! How important the quality of our rhythm in daily life is. Without commitment to true care and re-connection to the body, there is only an ’empty and disconnected person’ to take into the day. This is exhausting and a deep disservice to oneself and the world.
“I need a sense of rhythm in my life, a regular commitment to self-care that serves as my foundation and supports me throughout my day, no matter what I do or what hours I work”.
We don’t realise how exhausting our lifestyle is – not just our physical activities but also how we think about ourselves, our relationships and so much more.
Carmel, I too am now in the habit of tracking back to the root of an issue. I am noticing my off days, never start on that day, but way before.
This is just what I needed to read ‘COMMITMENT and CONSISTENCY – I need to commit to ME, the True Me and be consistent in these little self-loving ways so that I create a solid foundation of support for myself.’ Thank you for such an easy and relatable blog.
Hi Vicky, thank you for reminding me back! Yes, commitment is building well but consistency is still a little lacking. Doing a simple writing task regularly each day is helping to build that, getting up at the same time each day, going to bed at 9pm is also good.
Yes it really is very simple isn’t it, it is the commitment to consistency that can be slightly more challenging!
If we don’t take the signs and messages from our body that we are not ourselves, the space around us and our environment will be sure to let us know.
Ha! Rachael, that’s usually when I cut my finger or bang my head!
‘I’d given more importance to all the things I felt I had to do instead of being aware of my body and nurturing the real me’. How many of us do this, it certainly was an old habit of mine. These days, I love to give to myself in loving ways that nurture and nourish my body which truly supports me throughout my day. In taking care of all my own needs, ie putting myself first in my life, this also supports me with observing and not absorbing the emotions/issues of others. And a great confirmation as in the past I absorbed everything, mainly because I was so empty and checked out!
Putting ourselves first is not the way most of us have been brought up, and we find it hard to appreciate how important it is to care for ourselves before we consider doing anything for anybody
Thanks Carmel, we truly can support ourselves with our every choice. Reading your blog today I came to the awareness of how I see commitment, often it’s something I don’t want to do as if it’s a “have-to” instead of realising it’s a task that’s supporting me through my commitment to loving myself.
It is interesting how we see words like ‘Commitment’ and ‘Responsibility’ as negatives and yet, when we experience them as part of our daily lives, there is no chore, simply a continuation of what supports us.
Yes Carmel I agree. One of the things I seem to find difficult is to have commitment and consistency with myself, and how I care for me. I know that on days when I do, that consistency and commitment is also there in other things that I do. When I don’t do it for me, then it is also patchy in other areas of my life.
‘we are not the product of our circumstances nor are we controlled by them.’ this is such an important lesson for us to learn and makes such a difference to our whole approach to life, relationships, work, families, partners…
I agree infull that the rhythm we live with is key, how we hold ourselves as we go about our day is what makes our day flow. It is easy to get caught up in what we have to do, but a true joy to do when everything is again seen as a support for our body, our life, our wellbeing and ultimately the wellbeing of others.
As I become more aware of myself I begin to notice how quickly things will turn from good to bad when I start to get lazy with my self care. I can easily go into drive where I’m basically running around headless doing doing doing and losing all sense of what it means to support myself. The trick then is to catch it before it turns into complete depletion and exhaustion.
Yes, I keep catching myself going into drive too – my body is beginning to find more obvious ways of letting me know I’ve done it. My current ‘lesson’ is to wait, reconnect and wait and allow…
‘I need a sense of rhythm in my life, a regular commitment to self-care that serves as my foundation and supports me throughout my day, no matter what I do or what hours I work.’ I experience this too, although I do shiftwork and no working day is the same and to have a solid foundation in my days I need a rhythm in the way I care for myself and this commitment helps me to stay, as much as I can, in the same loving quality whatever I do.
I find it super supportive when my house is ordered and clean, there feels less distraction, with nothing standing in my way so to speak. For I notice the difference in how I feel when i have not attended to my house…. there is always this little nag or voice reminding me to bring my foundation back to order and simplicity.
I agree, Jacqueline, sweeping a floor can make such a difference
I love that your colleagues pointed out that the way you were was not you. These simple honesty, you starting with admitting that you were not feeling ok and then your colleagues response, help us to get out of the pits we sometimes sit in.
I no longer have Monday mornings as I’m visiting another country to be in a relationship and my visa does not allow me to be employed. So I’m not in regular work, but I still have projects that I am working on voluntarily. If I do not take time out to appreciate myself and all that I bring it is very easy to get depressed and feel useless, or to feel I am not sharing enough of my time with my partner. Life is full of questions, but staying connected with my body helps me to stay connected with who I am.
I love coming back to this blog as it is so simple how we can support ourselves to live who we truly are, appreciation has played a key role for me as well and learning to embody and walk that appreciation is a beautiful step to take as well.
We all know when someone is not being themselves, yet we so often use political correctness or politeness to not disturb the pretense that we see in front of us. Sometimes all we need to say is ‘You don’t seem yourself’ and 9 times out of 10 the other person starts to step out of the shell they have been walking in.
‘Was I just suffering that ‘Monday Morning Feeling’ or was something deeper going on?’ Carmel you bring up a good question here, the Monday morning feeling is a reflection of our livingness, and when we stop looking after ourself our life becomes slow and heavy as do we and it is not until we stop and take an honest look into what is going on that we are able to make more loving choices for ourselves which in turn make the world and ourselves feel lighter again.
Yes, Sally, and we have to keep checking in with this. My personal situation is very different now, but that heaviness can descend again regardless of my circumstances, because old patterns of behaviour keep repeating themselves regardless of where we are in the world, until we can permanently let go of them.
Great realisation Carmel, it is great that you began to see and feel the disharmony that was creeping in everywhere and chose to do something about it,
“And then I twigged – I’d given more importance to all the things I felt I had to do instead of being aware of my body and nurturing the real me”.
It is so true to me too that commitment to myself first is actually a very lovely thing to do as it builds a steadiness and strength which is based on the love that lives in me and is always with me wherever I go and whoever I meet and I do now recognize as something very precious to me as it makes my life and that of others a more joyful place to be.
Yes, commitment to self first is not being selfish, it lays the foundation from which we can support others.
When we are feeling out of sorts often the last thing we feel like doing is speaking to anyone else and yet, sharing our true feelings can sometimes be exactly what we need to come out of our silent, sulky indulgence. It is often not appreciating what we feel that makes us miserable in the first place.
This is exactly what turned my workplace around this week Carmel, when colleagues started sharing how they were really feeling… first up it was blurting and frustrated but then what was really going on was able to surface and be shared. Speaking up and as you say Carmel coming out of our ..”silent, sulky indulgence” and hurt, has such a powerful ripple affect on our environment and all those around us.
Self care is also acknowledging we are constantly held by the divine energy of the universe to live the divine part we have in the whole.
This is a gorgeous testament of how letting people in and being transparent is a blessing for us all. For at times when we are not ourselves, the quality of love shared with them is naturally reflected back, offering a reminder of the quality of love we truly are.
When we make the external stuff more important than self-care, we end up resenting the very things we’re putting all our energy into. When we really commit to looking after our bodies and a deep level of self-care, it’s amazing how much more vital we feel. This isn’t about focusing on self and de-committing to life, but about being present and committed to every moment, so that we can feel what’s needed and stay with that solidness of who we are and not who we think we need to be. Self-care is ultimately about being true to ourselves, to doing what we know we need to do instead of what we think we should or ought to be doing.
‘Self-care is ultimately about being true to ourselves, to doing what we know we need to do instead of what we think we should or ought to be doing.’ Well said, Bryony, we allow our minds to drive our bodies into exhaustion instead of feeling what to do in each moment and letting our body’s wisdom impulse our choices.
Its interesting because the moment we choose to stay up late on the computer and override our bodies signals, or eat foods which do not support, then we start to want more of the same and it becomes such a viscous cycle until we choose to stop or our bodies force us to.
I’ve been going through a process of clearing out, re-organising and tidying. It’s been a very gradual process, a little every day, one step at a time and this evening I’m starting to see it all come together. It feels amazing to walk around and appreciate the pockets that are clear, tidy and ordered and I can feel how much this will support me during my busy week ahead. I feel spacious and ready for what is ahead of me rather than feeling anxious and behind.
The power we have to transform or create upheaval in our life is extraordinary based on the foundation we choose to create for ourselves. It is deeply empowering to know that with a consistent commitment to making loving choices, we can deeply support ourselves throughout our day no matter what we do
Sometimes our feelings can overwhelm us and, if we don’t use any of our normal numbing devices, it can take a while to clear. I recently had a situation where I didn’t feel right but couldn’t pinpoint what it was. Being around people who can feel the energy of my thoughts has taught me that even expressing ‘I’m feeling something but I don’t quite know what’s going on’ is better than a stiff, abusive silence.
When we wallow in self-pity we become trapped in the victim role and fail to see our potential or that there is another way to be and live.
We should never feel any obligation to answer someone with a lie that ‘we are alright’ when we are not.
“When I look after myself, keep my environment tidy and don’t try to do too much, then I am far less exhausted and, amazingly, can do far more” Absolutely Carmel, I concur. Staying present with myself ensures I do not waste energy on checking out, escaping or day-dreaming. Loving ourselves should be taught from year one – then we would be able to listen to our body – without over-riding its messages – and have vibrancy instead of exhaustion as an everyday reality.
I recently underwent surgery which requires six weeks recovery time in which to really allow my body to heal. I was given exercises to do three times a day, and the physios recommended gentle walking daily, Building these into a rhythm of self care as well as eating three regular meals a day has provided me with a stable foundation for healing. At the moment there are no Monday mornings, every day is the same day, although my levels of tiredness do vary and I’m learning to honour that.
Surgery gives such a great opportunity to deeply rest and nurture and then to re-imprint our old habitual ways of going about our day. Enjoy your new foundation Carmel.
Ah… a perfect Monday morning blog, Carmel. A dear friend just shared with me yesterday how we could let our work carry us. It took me a while to understand this and I am not sure if I have got it yet, but my take is how we could form a routine around what needs to be done in our days and think that is our rhythm when in fact we are actually bending all over the place to make our day function – and I could feel how I have fallen for this. A great reminder that it is me and my body that dictates how it needs to be cared for and nurtured. I feel like I am standing at the square one with a different view of the scenery.
If ever I don’t feel right I always come back to my foundations, what is happening with them, have I let anything slip? My foundation is really important for me.
Carmel, I love this part, ‘The words that come to mind are COMMITMENT and CONSISTENCY – I need to commit to ME, the True Me and be consistent in these little self-loving ways so that I create a solid foundation of support for myself.’ Awesome reminder! These two words have been coming up a lot for me recently. I have found I am great with commitment and consistency when it comes to certain things but when it comes to caring and deeply nurturing myself there is a lack of this which I am lovingly recognising and know if I can bring commitment and consistency in one area of my life it means I can bring this to all areas of my life.
It really does come back to the foundations we have laid for ourselves. When we don’t have solid foundations the doing takes over from the being and things really go to the pack from there. I experience this often and like you Carmel i instantly feel the devastating effect this has on my day.
I used to think I was saving time when I left my bed unmade in the morning. Your blog helps me to see that making my bed supports me as much as sleeping in it.
Thank you Carmel, consistency is the key for all
Something else I’ve just ‘clocked’ recently is how much I can re-interpret what someone says and turn it into a negative criticism that may not have been intended. I can then spend the next few hours in my mind building scenarios of how awful I am. This is debilitating, time-consuming and exhausting. Feeling the tenderness in my body enables me to let go of all that and, if an opportunity arises, I can then discuss calmly what was actually meant and stop blaming the rest of the world for how I feel.
I recently had a friend comment, ‘Are you OK? You’re very quiet’ and it made me reflect on what was going on in my life. I have several major things gong on and I realised that I was allowing a constant feeling of anxiousness to plague my daily life – I could be anxious about anything, it varied, as if my mind was constantly looking for things to worry about. It has left me feeling tired and drained, because I’m using my energy to think about scenarios in the future that have not happened and may not happen. It is pointless, because it takes me away from appreciating where I am now. So I’m returning to gentleness in touching things tenderly with my fingertips to bring me back into my body, and acknowledging that the anxiousness is not me, it’s just thoughts I am inviting in and I need to be more discerning of how I am moving.
Thank you for the timely reminder Carmel. It is my responsibility to have a commitment and consistency to being all that I am that allows me to share this way of living with others.
Thank you Carmel for sharing this insight in what it means to truly self-care. No wonder you were cranky as you completely neglected yourself. This is a simple science to me, something we all greatly benefit from when we apply it, to deeply care, cherish and nurture ourselves no matter what.
‘Appreciating and putting me first helps me to be strong enough to support others. It’s not selfish, it is essential self-care.’ I had this conversation with a client’ s mother yesterday but have not been living this recently even though I have experienced the power of reflection rather than just empty words. A great wake up call thank you.
Thanks Carmel I love how you claim ‘The true me is joyful, playful and fun to be around’ and I totally agree that the key to living this way is consistency and commitment in my daily rhythm that supports me to bring all of me to all I do during the day. I have been teetering on overwhelm for the last few days as my routine has been disrupted by events around me. I have chosen to switch my focus to what needs doing and let my self-care routine slide and this morning my body aches from all the extra physical activity and I feel sorry for myself. It is so supportive for me to read your blog and recognise an old pattern and the fact that I have a choice about how my week unfolds.
I have been giving more focus to looking after myself recently and I have noticed a huge shift in both the way I feel about myself and my life. In a good way that is! 😉
I like what you share Carmel, I have realised I have got caught back into constantly working and not having a regular rhythm of my self care routine. It does make so much sense, when we have a regular rhythm it supports us and our energy levels. This is a great reminder for me to revisit my daily rhythms.
Changing our ‘old patterns and ways of being’ is definitely tricky. How many times do you think you have let go of something only to have it try to rear its ugly head again? Regardless, this is no reason to give up for if we do we end up marking time in the same place which brings us no evolution. And when you really stop to consider it, we are all on this earth to evolve.
By saying we are alright when we are not feeling alright we are not only lying to others but to ourselves equally.
Thank you Carmel for such a great blog, these 2 words ‘COMMITMENT and CONSISTENCY’ are certainly the key to support us to live in a way that is more joyful, loving and true. Building a consistent rhythm in my life has been an absolute game changer and has supported me to work long shift hours without the exhaustion or stress.