I recently had a big blip of a downer… I was tired, hating my job, had lost confidence in my ability to do anything well and . . . well, you know the kind of day I mean. Was I just suffering that ‘Monday Morning Feeling’ or was something deeper going on?
At work, when colleagues asked me the usual question, ‘Are you alright?’, I surprised them by saying ‘No, I’m not.’
It took them by surprise for two reasons: firstly, because they were expecting the usual ‘Yes thanks… you?’ answer to that question, and secondly, it was unusual for me to answer negatively, and they said ‘That’s not like you.’
This response from my colleagues helped me to realise that it wasn’t the true ‘me’ who was speaking. The true me is joyful, playful and fun to be around. The person speaking at work that day was an old me; one who wallowed in self-pity and blamed everyone except herself for what was wrong in her life – the job, the hours, the boss etc.
‘OK,’ I thought, ‘so it’s not the real me’. Why? How have I allowed myself to be less than who I truly am? As I looked back on the days preceding that particular Monday, I recalled it was a collection of events that had left me feeling tired and had taken me away from my true self.
Not only that, but my house had been getting messier and messier and I was avoiding clearing it, and my wake-up and going-to-bed times were all over the place. It wasn’t due to the late shifts I occasionally work, because I was going to bed late on my days off too.
And then I twigged – I’d given more importance to all the things I felt I had to do instead of being aware of my body and nurturing the real me.
I need a sense of rhythm in my life, a regular commitment to self-care that serves as my foundation and supports me throughout my day, no matter what I do or what hours I work.
There are many small ways in which I can do this – making sure I wash up after meals so that my kitchen is clean and ready for the next meal; keeping my bedroom tidy so that it is a restful place to sleep; switching off my computer earlier so I can wind down ready for sleep.
In the mornings I can wake up with a sense of appreciation of who I am and what I feel, go for a walk, and do gentle exercises to stretch my ageing body and keep it mobile.
These are all things I am doing, but not every day on a regular basis. The words that come to mind are COMMITMENT and CONSISTENCY – I need to commit to ME, the True Me and be consistent in these little self-loving ways so that I create a solid foundation of support for myself.
This is very much a work-in-progress because changing old patterns and ways of being, without self-judgment or criticism, is tricky. Appreciating and putting me first helps me to be strong enough to support others. It’s not selfish, it is essential self-care.
When I look after myself, keep my environment tidy and don’t try to do too much, then I am far less exhausted and, amazingly, can do far more. My energy is consistently steady, every day feels the same – joyful and fun, and there is no more ‘Monday Morning Feeling’.
My thanks go to Serge Benhayon, Natalie Benhayon, Simone Benhayon and Sara Williams, whose loving support has helped me to understand the importance of setting a good foundation and a consistent loving rhythm in my life.
By Carmel Reid, Somerset, UK
Further Reading:
From Exhaustion and Feeling False to Feeling Vital and Truly Looking After Myself
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
It was a good to read this blog again, it reminded me of how important it is that we continue committing to our wellbeing. And as we commit more, it becomes more and more refined as we discover another part of our livingness that needs that love and care.
It kind of feels that once we build that foundation, then another point is exposed and needs that love and attention. I love how it is forever developing and unfolding.
Carmel I’m understanding more and more of what ‘living the true me’ means. Life is different when we are not constantly coming from the doing all the time. There is a different way to be and that is from being responsible for how we live and it affecting everything around us. When I’m out everything is a burden, when I’m with myself, there is oodles of energy. This energy is like no other, not stimulated, not artificial, it’s natural and ready to serve the world.
What a great reminder that when we show our true selves more and more, people get to meet the real you. The reflection for others to give permission to be them too. It only requires the one for another to be the one too…
Expanding what you have shared Carmel how important is it to Walk 👯♂️Your Talk 💏 and thus be Absoulutely honest in all we do.
Absolutely Greg, ‘walk your talk’, and when you do, people know the difference. It either repels them or inspires them, it is that simple.
It’s interesting how when we ask people how they are, the expectation is that their response is going to be that they are always well.
I had a similar experience at work whilst I was concentrating on something I needed to do as I walked along the corridor. A colleague passing by, said morning to me and asked why wasn’t I smiling. So I stopped and asked why it was important for me to smile every time I passed anyone? The response was interesting, because if I smiled then they knew they were going to be ok!…
Irrespective of how we live, there are many expectations we place upon ourselves and each other. How to behave, what to say etc…How we live has an impact on these expectations so we don’t end up conforming to the many. I agree that ‘ commitment and consistence’ are essential to live in a self-loving way so we can offer these reflections to others, whether they accept these reflections is a different story altogether. We, in the mean time continue to make the commitment to continue on.
Less effort but more jobs done! How is that for magic when we surrender to the body’s simple ways?!
I absolutely love this realisation: “When I look after myself, keep my environment tidy and don’t try to do too much, then I am far less exhausted and, amazingly, can do far more. My energy is consistently steady, every day feels the same – joyful and fun, and there is no more ‘Monday Morning Feeling’.” – the crazy thing is that when we do surrender to not trying too hard, then things are less exhausting and we really do get so much more done! Less means more in this case!
I agree, I don’t have those ‘Monday Morning Feeling’ anymore. Because my attitude towards work has changed, and the key to living in such a way is supportive 24/7. It is far from perfect but it is much better to how it used to be, dreading Sunday evenings as Monday was round the corner, to loving going to work. Now that’s a transformation to appreciate…
Carmel, I love what you have shared here – this is something I too have to be vigilant about as it is easy for me to fall into the trap of getting things done and making this a priority over being with my body and staying gentle in quality: “I’d given more importance to all the things I felt I had to do instead of being aware of my body and nurturing the real me.”
The state of our living environment, office desk or even things like our cars, handbags/backpacks can be a great indicator of how we are living. I know if I let things slide in other parts of life, cleaning up also slides. The reverse also helps, if I am out, giving something a clean, bringing order back in can help the other areas of life as well.
Taking care of ourselves, and our environment is a wise choice, ‘When I look after myself, keep my environment tidy and don’t try to do too much, then I am far less exhausted and, amazingly, can do far more. My energy is consistently steady, every day feels the same – joyful and fun, and there is no more ‘Monday Morning Feeling’.’
Building a rhythm of commitment and consistency supports us when we feel the force of the wind against us.
Committing to ourselves is a great choice to make, ‘I need to commit to ME, the True Me and be consistent in these little self-loving ways so that I create a solid foundation of support for myself.’
“I need to commit to ME, the True Me and be consistent in these little self-loving ways so that I create a solid foundation of support for myself.” It’s surprising how resistant I can be to self love at times, it’s confounding really that the very thing that truly supports me is at times avoided. It’s a very distinct unloving energy behind these choices, a waywardness that is addicted to the misery and drama, and often I’m avoiding the hurts that can come from others negative reactions to me when I’m living in my fullness and shining bright… however it’s all quite illogical because there is no joy like living the love I am!
We often give importance to the things we do rather than how we’ve been. Only yesterday a group of us were commenting on the satisfaction of ‘getting everything done’, how at the end of the day we looked back to see what we’ve achieved and yet, were we completely with ourselves throughout the day? That’s what we need to be assessing.
‘Abuse is anything that is not love.’ Judging another is not love, it is wanting them to be different from who they naturally are. We can express the potential we see in them but we have no right to try to change them for how they live is their choice. But we can inspire them by the way we live, so it is better to focus in the quality of our behaviour and not theirs.
Well said Brendan, it is great to be reminded of the importance of even the small steps we take with self-love and self-care, as they all build towards a solid foundation.
If I start to drop the ball on my self-care routine it doesn’t take long for me to not feel as loving and honouring of my body, consistency and commitment is definitely key to building a loving rhythm that supports us everyday.
It was funny today, several people met me and said, ‘Hi how are you?’ and today I surprised them by saying ‘I’m feeling really good’ – it surprised me too, we are so used to that ‘urgh I’m OK (sigh)’ kind of response that reflects how we are feeling about life that when we feel really great it takes us and everyone else by surprise.
The how are you/I am fine dialogue is what I call an auto-pilot response we have all learned to do, so any way that we can genuinely change this spunks things up and helps us all come back to the moment and actually be the pilot. Sometimes I like to say in reply ‘Super good’ or ‘Well, very well thank you’ or ‘fantastic’ to have fun and to see how another responds.
I find if I’m alert and responsive to my body, my whole day is a discovery, and the more I respond – ie look after myself – the more lovely it gets.
There is a build up to ‘that Monday morning feeling’ that starts with how we feel on the previous days. Getting to that Monday feeling is hard work that requires consistency.
I appreciate the comments about building solid foundations of self care that will support us through our darkest hours. It is challenging to stay connected 100% of the time but it is a choice. By choosing to move tenderly I can maintain connection through the delicateness and fragility that is my natural way.
Foundations support us on those days that are more intense, and there will be those days. Yet when there is a solid foundation we maintain the ability to observe rather than absorb and so there is less potential to feel ‘battered’ by the day.
When I’m feeling out of sorts and a bit disconnected, it’s a sign that I’ve just stepped away from who I am, and the fastest way to get back to that solid and knowing feeling of sure-footedness, is to take deeper care. Not in a pandering, self-indulgent way, but making sure that the details are attended to and I’m looking after myself on every level, from how I move around, to the thoughts that I allow in.
I agree Bryony, those days where we feel slightly off or slightly out of sorts simply require a deeper level of care – that’s often the thing that’s slipped for me where I’ve focused too much on work or something else and forgotten how amazing and important my body is.
I find allowing vulnerability and acknowledging that I am actually off is a much needed reality check for me find a way back to truly connecting with myself. My body speaks louder than how I like to think I am managing.
Returning to this blog a year later, by way of an update, I am now living in Australia with a new partner and life is very different. I am not doing any paid work at the moment, but I’m volunteering a few hours each week and loving that. Despite all my great plans, I still have a long way to go in terms of the quality I live in. I am certainly learning to be more gentle, more loving in everything I do, but every now and then catch myself walking hard up a hill or putting hand cream on a bit too hard, or overeating almonds. I know that all I have to do is be more deeply self loving and these glitches will resolve themselves.
I used to run a mile from responsibility and commitment preferring to just float along and do as I please, this didn’t evolve me in anyway and in fact I was quite miserable. So much has changed for me since building a solid foundation, for starters I have more energy and zest for life, consistency and responsibility have been key with this and has supported me to feel more steady and accepting of others and myself.
The more we can appreciate the consistency and commitment that we have already incorporated into our lives and effortlessly so, the more easily we can add to what is already there. For example, when I was younger I would avoid brushing my teeth whereas these days I am much more particular and they get brushed every morning and evening and I use picketers in between to clear food particles to keep my gums healthy. I shower at least once every day, sometimes twice, so my basic self care routine is already in place.
Being consistent throughout our day is a much steadier and less tiring way to live rather than off the emotional highs and lows that only serve to drive us to exhaustion.
Consistency and commitment I find difficult at times as I can let things slip, like with my walking which I can commit to but then allow things to take me off track this is where I need more consistency which helps build a strong foundation.
We can create all sorts of ways to hold ourselves back, to play small, to not express. We doubt ourselves and in doing so, dis-honour what we feel. When we express what we feel we are acknowledging the truth that is held in our bodies and people will feel it.
“How have I allowed myself to be less than who I truly am?” Consistency and commitment to love pulls us back to who we truly are.
I don’t work full time, I have a couple of days a week when I volunteer but the rest of my time is free and I can work on projects that have no specific deadlines. This suits me as I am adjusting to life in a new country and being in a new relationship and am learning to cope with the heat and the back-to-front seasons. Most mornings I wake feeling OK but some mornings I wake feeling very sluggish and have to backtrack to see what happened the day before – what did I eat, how well did I sleep and also what was happening in the day? It enables me to look at my choices and see where I can adjust, maybe do some more exercise or be more regular in my routine.
We are more than humans and we get affected not just by what goes on in our plane of life. We have to be more aware of what happens to us when we get nudged. We say yes to it through our movements. We come back to old patterns still stored somewhere because they have served us before even if they do not do anything (good) for us really.
It all comes back to our movements, being consistently gentle, moving with grace, expressing in a way that feels harmonious, never judging, only observing and expressing with love, observing ourselves, learning but never being critical, simple ways of living that can change the world.
Completion is an important ingredient of not getting tired or exhausted.
Everything we do and the quality of life we live is a reflection of the what we align to, our relationship with the love we are within, and the degree in which we live in connection to as such guided by our essence.
Consistency is a beautiful thing in life. It provides a great foundation and then when we do have a wobble or something comes along to knock us, it is much easier for us to see what is going on and to come back to the truth of how we live.
When we allow ourselves to slip back into old patterns then it is easy to let everything slide. Our commitment needs to be unwavering and when we do backslide, it is important to understand why, are we resisting our own evolution? No need for self recriminations, just more understanding as we read the truth of what is unfolding for us.
Consistency of all those daily choices we know work for us is essential, it’s still a challenge for me at times though to really commit to everything I know is good for me. The reality is though that I am either committed and consistent with all that benefits me, or with all that does not!
This is lovely to bring into your mornings Carmel, ‘In the mornings I can wake up with a sense of appreciation of who I am and what I feel, go for a walk, and do gentle exercises to stretch my ageing body and keep it mobile.’
I love your realisation, so important and one I have to keep reminding myself of ‘ I’d given more importance to all the things I felt I had to do instead of being aware of my body and nurturing the real me.’
I used to think rhythm meant getting up at the same time each day but there is more to it than that, staying steady, feeling our body and consistently honouring what we feel is important too.
A strong and ever-evolving rhythm provides the foundation for what the day, any day brings, be it a Monday or Thursday or the weekend. Our rhythm stops the wild fluctuations in energy levels and brings consistency and a great solidness.
What a gem Carmel! How important the quality of our rhythm in daily life is. Without commitment to true care and re-connection to the body, there is only an ’empty and disconnected person’ to take into the day. This is exhausting and a deep disservice to oneself and the world.
“I need a sense of rhythm in my life, a regular commitment to self-care that serves as my foundation and supports me throughout my day, no matter what I do or what hours I work”.
We don’t realise how exhausting our lifestyle is – not just our physical activities but also how we think about ourselves, our relationships and so much more.
Carmel, I too am now in the habit of tracking back to the root of an issue. I am noticing my off days, never start on that day, but way before.
This is just what I needed to read ‘COMMITMENT and CONSISTENCY – I need to commit to ME, the True Me and be consistent in these little self-loving ways so that I create a solid foundation of support for myself.’ Thank you for such an easy and relatable blog.
Hi Vicky, thank you for reminding me back! Yes, commitment is building well but consistency is still a little lacking. Doing a simple writing task regularly each day is helping to build that, getting up at the same time each day, going to bed at 9pm is also good.
Yes it really is very simple isn’t it, it is the commitment to consistency that can be slightly more challenging!
If we don’t take the signs and messages from our body that we are not ourselves, the space around us and our environment will be sure to let us know.
Ha! Rachael, that’s usually when I cut my finger or bang my head!
‘I’d given more importance to all the things I felt I had to do instead of being aware of my body and nurturing the real me’. How many of us do this, it certainly was an old habit of mine. These days, I love to give to myself in loving ways that nurture and nourish my body which truly supports me throughout my day. In taking care of all my own needs, ie putting myself first in my life, this also supports me with observing and not absorbing the emotions/issues of others. And a great confirmation as in the past I absorbed everything, mainly because I was so empty and checked out!
Putting ourselves first is not the way most of us have been brought up, and we find it hard to appreciate how important it is to care for ourselves before we consider doing anything for anybody
Thanks Carmel, we truly can support ourselves with our every choice. Reading your blog today I came to the awareness of how I see commitment, often it’s something I don’t want to do as if it’s a “have-to” instead of realising it’s a task that’s supporting me through my commitment to loving myself.
It is interesting how we see words like ‘Commitment’ and ‘Responsibility’ as negatives and yet, when we experience them as part of our daily lives, there is no chore, simply a continuation of what supports us.
Yes Carmel I agree. One of the things I seem to find difficult is to have commitment and consistency with myself, and how I care for me. I know that on days when I do, that consistency and commitment is also there in other things that I do. When I don’t do it for me, then it is also patchy in other areas of my life.
‘we are not the product of our circumstances nor are we controlled by them.’ this is such an important lesson for us to learn and makes such a difference to our whole approach to life, relationships, work, families, partners…
I agree infull that the rhythm we live with is key, how we hold ourselves as we go about our day is what makes our day flow. It is easy to get caught up in what we have to do, but a true joy to do when everything is again seen as a support for our body, our life, our wellbeing and ultimately the wellbeing of others.
As I become more aware of myself I begin to notice how quickly things will turn from good to bad when I start to get lazy with my self care. I can easily go into drive where I’m basically running around headless doing doing doing and losing all sense of what it means to support myself. The trick then is to catch it before it turns into complete depletion and exhaustion.
Yes, I keep catching myself going into drive too – my body is beginning to find more obvious ways of letting me know I’ve done it. My current ‘lesson’ is to wait, reconnect and wait and allow…
‘I need a sense of rhythm in my life, a regular commitment to self-care that serves as my foundation and supports me throughout my day, no matter what I do or what hours I work.’ I experience this too, although I do shiftwork and no working day is the same and to have a solid foundation in my days I need a rhythm in the way I care for myself and this commitment helps me to stay, as much as I can, in the same loving quality whatever I do.
I find it super supportive when my house is ordered and clean, there feels less distraction, with nothing standing in my way so to speak. For I notice the difference in how I feel when i have not attended to my house…. there is always this little nag or voice reminding me to bring my foundation back to order and simplicity.
I agree, Jacqueline, sweeping a floor can make such a difference
I love that your colleagues pointed out that the way you were was not you. These simple honesty, you starting with admitting that you were not feeling ok and then your colleagues response, help us to get out of the pits we sometimes sit in.
I no longer have Monday mornings as I’m visiting another country to be in a relationship and my visa does not allow me to be employed. So I’m not in regular work, but I still have projects that I am working on voluntarily. If I do not take time out to appreciate myself and all that I bring it is very easy to get depressed and feel useless, or to feel I am not sharing enough of my time with my partner. Life is full of questions, but staying connected with my body helps me to stay connected with who I am.
I love coming back to this blog as it is so simple how we can support ourselves to live who we truly are, appreciation has played a key role for me as well and learning to embody and walk that appreciation is a beautiful step to take as well.
We all know when someone is not being themselves, yet we so often use political correctness or politeness to not disturb the pretense that we see in front of us. Sometimes all we need to say is ‘You don’t seem yourself’ and 9 times out of 10 the other person starts to step out of the shell they have been walking in.
‘Was I just suffering that ‘Monday Morning Feeling’ or was something deeper going on?’ Carmel you bring up a good question here, the Monday morning feeling is a reflection of our livingness, and when we stop looking after ourself our life becomes slow and heavy as do we and it is not until we stop and take an honest look into what is going on that we are able to make more loving choices for ourselves which in turn make the world and ourselves feel lighter again.
Yes, Sally, and we have to keep checking in with this. My personal situation is very different now, but that heaviness can descend again regardless of my circumstances, because old patterns of behaviour keep repeating themselves regardless of where we are in the world, until we can permanently let go of them.
Great realisation Carmel, it is great that you began to see and feel the disharmony that was creeping in everywhere and chose to do something about it,
“And then I twigged – I’d given more importance to all the things I felt I had to do instead of being aware of my body and nurturing the real me”.
It is so true to me too that commitment to myself first is actually a very lovely thing to do as it builds a steadiness and strength which is based on the love that lives in me and is always with me wherever I go and whoever I meet and I do now recognize as something very precious to me as it makes my life and that of others a more joyful place to be.
Yes, commitment to self first is not being selfish, it lays the foundation from which we can support others.
When we are feeling out of sorts often the last thing we feel like doing is speaking to anyone else and yet, sharing our true feelings can sometimes be exactly what we need to come out of our silent, sulky indulgence. It is often not appreciating what we feel that makes us miserable in the first place.
This is exactly what turned my workplace around this week Carmel, when colleagues started sharing how they were really feeling… first up it was blurting and frustrated but then what was really going on was able to surface and be shared. Speaking up and as you say Carmel coming out of our ..”silent, sulky indulgence” and hurt, has such a powerful ripple affect on our environment and all those around us.
Self care is also acknowledging we are constantly held by the divine energy of the universe to live the divine part we have in the whole.
This is a gorgeous testament of how letting people in and being transparent is a blessing for us all. For at times when we are not ourselves, the quality of love shared with them is naturally reflected back, offering a reminder of the quality of love we truly are.
When we make the external stuff more important than self-care, we end up resenting the very things we’re putting all our energy into. When we really commit to looking after our bodies and a deep level of self-care, it’s amazing how much more vital we feel. This isn’t about focusing on self and de-committing to life, but about being present and committed to every moment, so that we can feel what’s needed and stay with that solidness of who we are and not who we think we need to be. Self-care is ultimately about being true to ourselves, to doing what we know we need to do instead of what we think we should or ought to be doing.
‘Self-care is ultimately about being true to ourselves, to doing what we know we need to do instead of what we think we should or ought to be doing.’ Well said, Bryony, we allow our minds to drive our bodies into exhaustion instead of feeling what to do in each moment and letting our body’s wisdom impulse our choices.
Its interesting because the moment we choose to stay up late on the computer and override our bodies signals, or eat foods which do not support, then we start to want more of the same and it becomes such a viscous cycle until we choose to stop or our bodies force us to.
I’ve been going through a process of clearing out, re-organising and tidying. It’s been a very gradual process, a little every day, one step at a time and this evening I’m starting to see it all come together. It feels amazing to walk around and appreciate the pockets that are clear, tidy and ordered and I can feel how much this will support me during my busy week ahead. I feel spacious and ready for what is ahead of me rather than feeling anxious and behind.
The power we have to transform or create upheaval in our life is extraordinary based on the foundation we choose to create for ourselves. It is deeply empowering to know that with a consistent commitment to making loving choices, we can deeply support ourselves throughout our day no matter what we do
Sometimes our feelings can overwhelm us and, if we don’t use any of our normal numbing devices, it can take a while to clear. I recently had a situation where I didn’t feel right but couldn’t pinpoint what it was. Being around people who can feel the energy of my thoughts has taught me that even expressing ‘I’m feeling something but I don’t quite know what’s going on’ is better than a stiff, abusive silence.
When we wallow in self-pity we become trapped in the victim role and fail to see our potential or that there is another way to be and live.
We should never feel any obligation to answer someone with a lie that ‘we are alright’ when we are not.
“When I look after myself, keep my environment tidy and don’t try to do too much, then I am far less exhausted and, amazingly, can do far more” Absolutely Carmel, I concur. Staying present with myself ensures I do not waste energy on checking out, escaping or day-dreaming. Loving ourselves should be taught from year one – then we would be able to listen to our body – without over-riding its messages – and have vibrancy instead of exhaustion as an everyday reality.
I recently underwent surgery which requires six weeks recovery time in which to really allow my body to heal. I was given exercises to do three times a day, and the physios recommended gentle walking daily, Building these into a rhythm of self care as well as eating three regular meals a day has provided me with a stable foundation for healing. At the moment there are no Monday mornings, every day is the same day, although my levels of tiredness do vary and I’m learning to honour that.
Surgery gives such a great opportunity to deeply rest and nurture and then to re-imprint our old habitual ways of going about our day. Enjoy your new foundation Carmel.
Ah… a perfect Monday morning blog, Carmel. A dear friend just shared with me yesterday how we could let our work carry us. It took me a while to understand this and I am not sure if I have got it yet, but my take is how we could form a routine around what needs to be done in our days and think that is our rhythm when in fact we are actually bending all over the place to make our day function – and I could feel how I have fallen for this. A great reminder that it is me and my body that dictates how it needs to be cared for and nurtured. I feel like I am standing at the square one with a different view of the scenery.
If ever I don’t feel right I always come back to my foundations, what is happening with them, have I let anything slip? My foundation is really important for me.
Carmel, I love this part, ‘The words that come to mind are COMMITMENT and CONSISTENCY – I need to commit to ME, the True Me and be consistent in these little self-loving ways so that I create a solid foundation of support for myself.’ Awesome reminder! These two words have been coming up a lot for me recently. I have found I am great with commitment and consistency when it comes to certain things but when it comes to caring and deeply nurturing myself there is a lack of this which I am lovingly recognising and know if I can bring commitment and consistency in one area of my life it means I can bring this to all areas of my life.
It really does come back to the foundations we have laid for ourselves. When we don’t have solid foundations the doing takes over from the being and things really go to the pack from there. I experience this often and like you Carmel i instantly feel the devastating effect this has on my day.
I used to think I was saving time when I left my bed unmade in the morning. Your blog helps me to see that making my bed supports me as much as sleeping in it.
Thank you Carmel, consistency is the key for all
Something else I’ve just ‘clocked’ recently is how much I can re-interpret what someone says and turn it into a negative criticism that may not have been intended. I can then spend the next few hours in my mind building scenarios of how awful I am. This is debilitating, time-consuming and exhausting. Feeling the tenderness in my body enables me to let go of all that and, if an opportunity arises, I can then discuss calmly what was actually meant and stop blaming the rest of the world for how I feel.
I recently had a friend comment, ‘Are you OK? You’re very quiet’ and it made me reflect on what was going on in my life. I have several major things gong on and I realised that I was allowing a constant feeling of anxiousness to plague my daily life – I could be anxious about anything, it varied, as if my mind was constantly looking for things to worry about. It has left me feeling tired and drained, because I’m using my energy to think about scenarios in the future that have not happened and may not happen. It is pointless, because it takes me away from appreciating where I am now. So I’m returning to gentleness in touching things tenderly with my fingertips to bring me back into my body, and acknowledging that the anxiousness is not me, it’s just thoughts I am inviting in and I need to be more discerning of how I am moving.
Thank you for the timely reminder Carmel. It is my responsibility to have a commitment and consistency to being all that I am that allows me to share this way of living with others.
Thank you Carmel for sharing this insight in what it means to truly self-care. No wonder you were cranky as you completely neglected yourself. This is a simple science to me, something we all greatly benefit from when we apply it, to deeply care, cherish and nurture ourselves no matter what.
‘Appreciating and putting me first helps me to be strong enough to support others. It’s not selfish, it is essential self-care.’ I had this conversation with a client’ s mother yesterday but have not been living this recently even though I have experienced the power of reflection rather than just empty words. A great wake up call thank you.
Thanks Carmel I love how you claim ‘The true me is joyful, playful and fun to be around’ and I totally agree that the key to living this way is consistency and commitment in my daily rhythm that supports me to bring all of me to all I do during the day. I have been teetering on overwhelm for the last few days as my routine has been disrupted by events around me. I have chosen to switch my focus to what needs doing and let my self-care routine slide and this morning my body aches from all the extra physical activity and I feel sorry for myself. It is so supportive for me to read your blog and recognise an old pattern and the fact that I have a choice about how my week unfolds.
I have been giving more focus to looking after myself recently and I have noticed a huge shift in both the way I feel about myself and my life. In a good way that is! 😉
I like what you share Carmel, I have realised I have got caught back into constantly working and not having a regular rhythm of my self care routine. It does make so much sense, when we have a regular rhythm it supports us and our energy levels. This is a great reminder for me to revisit my daily rhythms.
Changing our ‘old patterns and ways of being’ is definitely tricky. How many times do you think you have let go of something only to have it try to rear its ugly head again? Regardless, this is no reason to give up for if we do we end up marking time in the same place which brings us no evolution. And when you really stop to consider it, we are all on this earth to evolve.
By saying we are alright when we are not feeling alright we are not only lying to others but to ourselves equally.
Thank you Carmel for such a great blog, these 2 words ‘COMMITMENT and CONSISTENCY’ are certainly the key to support us to live in a way that is more joyful, loving and true. Building a consistent rhythm in my life has been an absolute game changer and has supported me to work long shift hours without the exhaustion or stress.
Carmel it is so simple really…building a consistent and loving rhythm. For so long I never really clocked the fact that my behaviour (which by all accounts were pretty average) was influencing my moods and just how I was during the day. In fact they still do, but now I am much more observant and seeing them a lot more. I do still have some very stubborn behaviours, so I am learning that the more loving and caring I am with myself, as opposed to harsh and critical I can actually let go of them, rather than trying to force myself to change something that I don’t like about myself. It’s a vastly different approach and my body appreciates this so much more.
I honestly hate the Monday morning feeling, yet I’m the creator of this feeling on a regular basis. Why do I have a love-hate relationship with Mondayitis. It feels to me that at this stage I still enjoy the rollercoaster of the ups and downs, for the truth remains everything that is transpiring in our lives right now is there because we chose it to be.
Through having the ups and downs we can give ourselves the excuse not to be everything we natural know to be ourselves.
I can so relate to this, “I’d given more importance to all the things I felt I had to do instead of being aware of my body and nurturing the real me.” Reading this I also felt how if I haven’t been living myself at work and I’ve instead been taking things on or trying to please others and fit in that I wake up not wanting to go to work. Why would I want to go somewhere where I’ve been giving myself away. If I hold myself at work then work just becomes the same as the rest of my life and nothing different to want to avoid.
Once we are connected it doesn’t matter if we are at work or at home, every day is the same day, and every time we walk whether it be in the supermarket or the office, we are taking ourselves there. Trying to please others is something I’ve done all my life and only now have I clocked just how insidious it has been in every aspect of my life. It has been exhausting and life feels very different now that I am beginning to appreciate and express what I feel to do instead of bending and twisting to match what I think others want or expect of me.
Yes Carmel ,this is a great sharing as we do know when we are not our joyful self and it is all the little things that we let slide that contribute until we are hit with a great overwhelm. I have learnt, as you have to not let one thing slide as I have experienced the avalanche that results before and never want to go back to that. If things are out of place around me it makes perfect sense that I am going in be out of place also. Thank you I enjoyed the reminder.
Thank you Carmel for sharing your experience, I realise too, how consistency and commitment are paramount to living a joyful loving life, it is so easy at times when things happen for me to let go of this rhythm when I do I feel the out of sorts effect the uneasiness in my body.
When we choose to live in truth, we can no longer get away with anything less that the truth – what we live each day in the simple things does affect the quality we hold. Thanks Carmel for sharing.
Brilliant twig moment Carmel “And then I twigged – I’d given more importance to all the things I felt I had to do instead of being aware of my body and nurturing the real me.” I love it when I can get to the root of what’s going on! It brings an understanding and an opportunity to change.
There is so much simplicity in moving in way that honours our bodies which then supports us to listen and respond to what our bodies are telling us rather than living in the complication of our heads where our focus is on what we need to do rather than the quality we are doing it in.
So true Brendan. The quality of our daily life and all that develops in our world collectively is directly developed from the quality our foundations.
I also agree with you Carmel, why lie about how you truly feel. The niceties of our modern day society and the obligation people feel to pretend they are doing well to others around them when they are not is crippling the true expression of how we truly feel and illustrating how empty and superficial our modern day existence can be when our potential is for so much more. When you feel like crap you should just say it for that gives others the opportunity to reflect on and express honestly how they feel too. You just have to be aware that this honesty is not a dumping fest on another, just a sharing that you are aware that something is not right in your life and that you are doing something about it. A life that you are entirely responsible for how it has and is unfolding and thus all that you share comes with the awareness that you are totally responsible for how you feel.
Hi Suse, yes, there is always a danger that saying honestly how you feel may well set the other person off into sympathy . . . and saying that you are doing something about it is a good way to balance that. Life is much simpler when we take responsibility for the quality of all our relationships.
I love what you share here Carmel. It is so easy to get caught up in the unrelenting pace of modern day society and allow the pressures and external forces that drive this rat race to drive us too. It is baby steps for me right now as I begin to make the necessary choices to build the commitment and consistency into my every day that is based on a self care that breaks these old habits that I have allowed to drive me for far too long. As I do this what I am really becoming aware of is the lack of appreciation I have for myself…. for as you say appreciation in all that I do is key to founding the changes to my daily rhythm that my exhausted body so craves. Thank you for your blog Carmel, it is very timely…
I used to get the ‘Friday funday feeling’ as it meant the weekend was so close. Which revealed, how was I living for the rest of the week? Mondays was ‘I want to go back to bed feeling’ and start over again. I so enjoy your sharing with us Carmel as it brings in going back to the essential basics of self-loving and self-nurturing first and foremost – with ‘commitment and consistency’. Then each and every day brings about it own joy and fun to be appreciated in full.
When we treat every day as the same day, regardless of whether we are at work or not, it helps us to look at life differently; it helps us to develop consistency and a steady way of being that somehow feels solid and supportive for all our activities.
I’m learning fast that part of our self-care package is appreciation, not constantly beating ourselves up for what we didn’t do yesterday. Just appreciate what we can do now and see what miracles happen today.
Spot on Carmel, appreciation is an absolute game changer and allows us to deepen our love and to feel what’s possible when we choose this movement as our everyday normal.
Beautiful blog Carmel. “Mondayitis” is what that Monday Morning Feeling is called in New Zealand. Almost playfully treated a bit like a disease, but what this is doing is normalising the issue and accepting that it is ok and part of life when it is clearly not. I used to get this feeling all the time and like you thanks to a lot of love and care with myself and others, I no longer do and feel much much more vital than ever before
I love the simple and beautiful reminder in your blog Carmel to be committed and consistent to self-care everyday and how this supports us to live who we truly are.
Nurturing ourselves every day is so important, if we do we are joyful, playful and fun to be around. Why wouldn’t we want to?
Thank you Carmel for your honesty and for sharing your wisdom.
I love this Carmel – if we live harmoniously treating every day as being the same only with a different name – there is no emphasis on that ‘oh, no it is Monday’ or even the ‘thank God it is Friday’ feeling! Life becomes much less stressful and simple and as you say more joyful and fun.
“When I look after myself, keep my environment tidy and don’t try to do too much, then I am far less exhausted and, amazingly, can do far more. My energy is consistently steady, every day feels the same – joyful and fun, and there is no more ‘Monday Morning Feeling’.”
Yep, every day is the same day, including Christmas Day . . .
Yes, Linda, the more we listen to our bodies, the more we can feel when we are disconnected. It is easy to fill our diaries with activities that, on the surface, all appear to be OK but they could be a distraction, a way of staying in the ‘doing’. Having said that, when we make time for stillness each morning, then we can take that into our day’s activities and everybody we meet gets to feel the same quality of stillness.
I’ve realised how much recently I’ve once again called in an energy that has allowed me to fester in my own misery. Once I can see that it’s not me, it’s something outside of me, it’s easier to feel the me that is true. It’s almost like being possessed by a rebellious spirit that takes over and makes me do the most awful things – like the witch string puppet I had as a child – I was good, but she could say the most awful things to people. But it was me all along. Or was it? The true me is gentle and caring and wouldn’t hurt a flea, but the abuse I have done with my own body is not caring – yes I am far more gentle than I was, the hardness is gradually going, but there is a level of care and tenderness yet to be achieved and maintained, that is my evolution.
What great honesty you share with us here Carmel – great that you have called it out as it is the only way we keep evolving.
Re reading your blog Carmel made me realise I have to take a closer look at my ‘preparing to go to bed’ I can see I try to finish all kind of things that I think are more important than me and cannot wait untill the next day. So I keep myself busy, go to bed on time but wake up still not feeling fresh and fit. The start of the day is determined by my choices the evening before and so on and so on. Your blog is a great reminder to deepen my love for myself and to build more commitment in closing my computer in time and prepare myself for a nurturing sleep.
Closing the computer in time is tricky when there are international virtual meetings held near bed-time – we may feel inspired and want to complete an action point before going to sleep, but it can be left till the morning, and if we are up early, there’s plenty of time to complete it then.
I was reminded this morning that when I don’t take care of myself in the way I am used to I don’t feel quite right and things can come in to wobble me, to make me indulge in old patterns. my head can persuade me of anything but not my body…my body is always honest, the question is how much do I want to listen to what it has to say?
Good question, Lucy, what are we avoiding when we choose not to listen to the wisdom of our body despite its constant reminders?
– and how much do we gain when we do?
Commitment and consistency to be love is a constant and gentle reminder to treat ourselves and everyone and everything around us with equal love.
It’s all about the body isn’t it. If we care for, love, cherish and nourish our bodies, consistently as you say Carmel, our bodies are able to support us in whatever is needed. They are wondrous and deserve our love.
Thank you Carmel for this sharing. We do get hard on ourselves at times without having a close look why. When we do look deeper it may be something as small as not going to bed early enough or getting up a little later than usual, this is soon rectified without bashing our selves over the head ! When we look with love and appreciation for the things we do get “right” it is a much more pleasant experience and result.
‘When we look with love and appreciation for the things we do get “right” it is a much more pleasant experience and result.’ This way of living is also far less exhausting – appreciating how far we have come and the little things we do that are loving and nurturing. Sometimes it takes a few minutes to make a new choice, sometimes years, but we all get there eventually. I never used to brush my teeth and I hated dentists – now I wouldn’t dream of going to bed or leaving the house without brushing my teeth and I visit the dentist regularly. Simple self care routines can become our everyday way of living.
‘When we look with love and appreciation for the things we do get “right” it is a much more pleasant experience and result.’ This would be a good tactic for all managers – I think it was Kenneth Blanchard who said ‘Catch them doing it right’ in his book The One Minute Manager.
I am feeling this more and more too Brendan. For me, the word commitment used to have a hard edge to it – a justification for not engaging with that love, as if to say I have been hurt before I am not going there again.
So true Carmel, the foundation we set for ourselves can either be one that supports us in life or it does not. In taking care for all our choices to be ones that are loving rather harming rests in the commitment and consistency of our living way.
Thank you Carmel. A great reminder we don’t have to go into a push.. Just commit to each thing that needs to be done in each moment in time – and bring our love to it.
oh my, how you have touched on such a topic for me. This is something that I am feeling into a lot at the moment and working towards quite solidly. Having the dishes in the sink always down reflects such regard for self and I am really just learning how supportive this is in the rhythm of the day. Also having the bed made, the house clean and tidy is so supportive for the deeper flows of life.
Funny, isn’t it, Natasha, how a small thing like washing up, or making the bed can be so supportive – little acts of self care that affirm we are worth caring for, and leave us feeling spacious to do more.
Absolutely so true Carmel, it is the worth that we confirm when attending to these little thing and does open up a incredible amount of spaciousness!
It confirms everything that I am and the feeling of joy I get from my continual commitment to myself.
Wonderful Carmel I know exactly what your are writing about – “I’d given more importance to all the things I felt I had to do instead of being aware of my body and nurturing the real me.” I got the same disease! For me it was important to appreciate myself as well and to find my own innate flow through the day. Carmel and I have to admit – yes it is a bit of work to change old patterns or behavior . . .
Yes, esteraltmiks it is a challenge to change old behaviours and patterns – so easy to override what we KNOW we need to change but stay in the comfort of the old momentum. I’m trying very hard not to beat myself up for my bad choices – even that is an old, old pattern that by now should have disappeared – there is no reason for it, if self love is the way lived.
Hahahah Carmel I had to laugh because I too was very good in beating myself up! Its true it feels like an age old pattern and a part of me sometimes still fallS for this old way of being as I was so use to it – yes I agree there is no reason to do so – now it is a good marker of how deep I am living the self love in this moment.
Thank you Carmel for highlighting how when we place more importance on our doing-ness we disconnect from our being-ness. When I slip into this I also find that I feel like I have less time to ‘do’ everything and my body feels super racy from trying to get it all done. I realise now that this is because as I have not chosen to appreciate and honor me, that I ‘am’ everything first, and it is this that I can bring to all that I do. ‘COMMITMENT and CONSISTENCY – I need to commit to ME, the True Me and be consistent in these little self-loving ways so that I create a solid foundation of support for myself.’ – this is so true Carmel as the more we appreciate who we truly are the more we will honor this in all that we do.
Thank you Carmel, what you share is so simple yet so fundamentally important. It is about laying the foundations right in our day – the very foundations that then support us in our everyday in other words they feed us back. The more we can bring the consistency and the commitment to the fundamental parts of our lives, the more this holds and lifts us and carries us on.
I agree, Henrietta, more consistency is coming into my day with simple things and they really support me – when I have a late night and wake a little later, I don’t make time for these things and doing them later is never quite the same – we can’t play catch-up, we need to work in advance, prepare for what’s ahead so we are not rushed.
It’s like living the future Carmel….Living every day as if we were already ahead of ourselves yet still fully present with, well huh, the present moment.
I know I have also made the mistake of over-preparing, making sure that everything is ready for the next day before I even get to it (Like setting the table for breakfast, the night before) – essentially there is nothing wrong with this as it is about planning ahead and making it smoother for the next day or next moment, however if this is done obsessively and with an element of control, then you lose the flow, you lose the quality with which things can be done to truly support you. It can come from Nervous Energy, there to be disguised as being practical but really there to erode away any existing foundation. That quality and flow is crucial, and we do help that by allowing enough time – on a practical level this may mean getting up earlier in the morning, but it is also about focus (not letting distraction get in there), and a quality of being that carries us through the day. When I do things in a flow and do not force myself, then I still do so much and yet I am not exhausted at the end of the day – so how I am feeds me back to complete what needs completion.
Yes, and I feel that the ability to plan ahead starts with looking for the consistency in taking care of ourselves. It is a cycle and it can keep us in whatever cycle we want to be in, we can change it at any point, but in order to do so we have to see the pattern. Playing catch up is my warning sign that i have not spotted that my cycle has jumped tracks!!
Dear Carmel – your blog comes with a sense of honesty that is truly freeing. When we stop and look at how we are living, make the necessary adjustments the clarity and flow that then arise are in line with the joy of being more of who we truly are. It is a bit of a process to get to this but the commitment and consistency are worth it because ultimately we are worth it.
Hello True Gem, yes, making the necessary adjustments can be a challenge and I’m learning accept that’s how I am right now and instead of planning to NOT do something, which always fails, I feel more how I am affected by everything I do and to feel if I want to continue . . . or not. I need ‘scientific evidence’ that something works and that is within my own body, when I allow myself to truly feel what’s going. Unfortunately many of the things I need to ‘adjust’ are the behaviours that stop me from feeling, so it’s a bit of a vicious circle.
Such gorgeous honesty – and reminds me too that we cannot make true and lasting change unless we first accept where we are at.
I have often pondered on the fact that generally when people ask How are you? we tend to just automatically say ‘good thank you, how are you’. Generally, not many people really seem to listen to the answer and the general feel I get is that they don’t really want to now
how you are. This holds back true support and true expression. Since getting to know so many people within the student body it is quite a contrast to feel when people really do want to know how you are.
A lovely reminder that commitment to our rhythm and self care creates more space and creates a foundation to move from.
The more I commit to not doing more (which is my normal tendency) but to the quality that I bring into everything that I do, it creates more space for me to build a more nurturing and caring foundation for myself.
Yes, I absolutely agree with you Francisco Clara – first and foremost it is all about the QUALITY (not the doing) that we bring to everything we do that creates that beautiful sense of spaciousness to move though the day from a deep foundation of nurturing and caring for oneself.
I have noticed lately how easy it is to get caught up in activity and ignore what I am feeling in my body going into overdrive. For example ignoring that my body really felt to have a stretch but knowing that the dog needs walking so ignoring my body and go walking. I justified it by saying it was a form of exercise but I noticed how drained I felt in the afternoon. I know my body has a delicate rhythm and flow but sometimes I am a bit clumsy and heavy handed with it.
Excellent blog outlining the importance of consistency in our self love and care we bring to our bodies and life, thank you Carmel.
How can we be of true service and role models to humanity if we don’t demonstrate true love, care and integrity in the way we live?
“When I look after myself, keep my environment tidy and don’t try to do too much, … ”
Thank you, Carmel, for sharing about these ons and offs with self-care … I relate to much of what you write, especially about not trying to do too much… I expect so much of myself and my energy levels, not at all loving, but have been seeing this and am slowly deepening my self-acceptance and consistency in valuing myself.
‘trying to do too much’ – sometimes it feels like someone is standing at our shoulders nudging us to ‘do this’ or ‘do that’ and we feel under great pressure until we realise that actually no-one is there – it’s our own internal voice constantly telling us we are not enough as we are, we must do more. Tuning in to our bodies, especially us older ones, is important because then we can honour what we feel, go to bed when we are tired, eat what we truly need, and do as much as we are capable of, without over-doing it and exhausting ourselves. Then it’s amazing what we can achieve in a day.
A lovely sharing with us Carmel and one that I can relate too myself all too well. When my joy button is on mute I know all is not well within. Old patterns like to rear up and creep in – its all down to me not being ‘committed and consistent’ (as you mention)in the way that I choose to live. Not listening to my body and overriding those signals which indicate tiredness – as this is the one that catches me out which, then sets up that negative feeling of not being ‘the all that I am’.
Ha Ha Marion, I love your phrase, ‘When my joy button is on mute I know all is not well within.’ A good marker that wakes us up to look at what we need to change. And it is our own responsibility to do that, no-one else can do it for us.
What a great description Marion, “When my joy button is on mute..”, that is exactly what it feels like, and it is always me who has pressed the button for it to be like that. Crazy stuff!
It is only me who can make the choice to press it back on again too.
This is a joy to read Carmel and I’m so appreciative of you for sharing. I’ve been having ‘that Monday morning’ feeling for a few days (and on and off for a long time if I’m honest) and had got so far as to recognise that it’s a lack of consistency in my rhythm, but to feel your lack of judgement and criticism of yourself and instead the beautiful appreciation, has lifted the critic I’d heaped upon myself. Sometimes we need the reflection of another gorgeous being to help us see the wood from the trees. Thank you Carmel.
I can relate to the consistency of exercise, walking routines and general household chores and when these are thrown out of sinc. my sleep is also. This causes a lot of angst and just recently I have taken on and extra job that I do enjoy, but I need to be extra careful to not let anything slip because to play catch up, as I did recently caused all sorts of problems! . Self nurturing is something that I have let go as little in these times but I am back to more of an equilibrium this week and feels so much better. Thank you Carmel.
Top blog Carmel. Its great that your work friends picked up that you were not yourself, and shared that with you. I sometimes get a bit defensive when people ask those sorts of questions. I like being honest with myself and tuning into how I feel as well. I know how messy it feels to disregard our bodies and regular rhythm. When we keep our foundations solid, it is so supportive for us.
Gosh, the real me is loving joy-ful and a treat to be around.
What is having its say when I’m not that?
Something to really deeply consider.
The days when I ‘have a wobble’ are showing me that I am not evolving with my level of self care. I use to doubt myself as if I had done something wrong to bring this on, but now it’s about returning to the basics and rebuilding again. Also, there is a clear message around commitment and following through on the impulses that I get, if I don’t act, it causes a tension, which is the beginning of the ‘wobble’ that will occur at some stage down the track.
I agree, Matthew, paying attention to and honouring the impulses we get is important, and the more we respond, the more we get. For example, I have found that when I follow an impulse to go somewhere – right now – or to attend an event in the future, I have an encounter with a man or woman that feels perfect, exactly right. It happens a lot. The expression we have in the UK is ‘Being in the right place at the right time’.
Yes, Carmel, Its all the small things combined, the things we do to care and support ourselves everyday that form a loving daily routine creating consistency, and stability in our lives so we have so much more of ourselves to share with others.
Such an honest blog Carmel, thank you. Yes, there are so ‘many small ways’ of tending to self care, and collectively they make such a big dent in the whole day. There many practical ways of self caring, and having a routine and rhythm is very supportive in maintaining self care. Still the most important ingredient of self care, besides routine, rhythm and being practical is bringing having presence, or connection with our self whilst we do what we do. As feeling this sense of self most definitely is a gorgeous expression of ourselves as who we truly are. I too, thank Universal Medicine for presenting this as it has made such a difference in the way i live my day too.
A gorgeous reminder of the power of commitment and consistency Carmel. Your writing has a beautiful consistency of honesty too.
Your blog, reminds me of one of my favorite quotes from Serge Benhayon… It is amazing how we can take cues from the world around us (if we are willing to). How amazing you had someone to reflect back to you, just how out of character that day was for you.
Carmel, a great honest blog that reveals the effects and traps when we loose focus with our rhythm and body. I realized it needs a loving discipline everyday new and according of how I feel to keep in the focus. Even if there are days with less “to do” to definitely rest but not let go too much and going into a little bit here more and a little bit there more. Every tiny decision is having an effect on my rhythm. I guess the less you are compromising yourself in how you feel and how much you wanna be on track and in your power, the more this discipline is a true support in your life.
Thank you Carmel. This is so true. I had someone come and help me with some filing of papers today and later it came to me how much I have allowed myself to hold back on life and not commit and take full responsibility because I could always get by. Also I see how my not truly caring about parts of my life actually affects all of my life. I take on more things without attending to the part that I am not caring for and I begin to feel the pressure of having more to do than I can handle. It’s a great way of never really giving myself permission to live the full me completely.
‘Also I see how my not truly caring about parts of my life actually affects all of my life.’ This is so important, Elaine, taking our life as a whole and paying the same attention to every detail throughout our day, wherever we are and whoever we are with. We think we get by, but we don’t really, we just cover up the cracks and hope no-one notices, but energetically, everyone gets it – that’s where our responsibility comes in – everybody is affected by everything we do
Reading the comments above highlights again the importance of setting a good, solid foundation. I can do things for others but when it comes to doing things for me, I find resistance, and then I can feel myself getting more and more lethargic and depressed, almost as if my body is becoming denser, and more inert, if that makes sense? I know that I have a ‘duty of care’ to my body, and that it tells me, if I listen, that exercise and self-care, and early nights are what it needs. All the ‘doing’ can wait, because the more I procrastinate on looking after my body first, the more disease will strike and the shorter lifespan I will have. We may think we are ‘getting away with it’ but the older we get, the more medical scares arise, and they are not something we can dismiss lightly any more.
Reading this Carmel brings home that we do not get away with anything despite thinking we do, and the kicker is it’s easier to deal with it at the time than let it build and erupt later in medical scares or otherwise – life stops us in one way or another and it’s beautiful that it does. Recently I’ve come of understand what a gift that is as it shows us that our unloving ways cannot continue and must be addressed – it’s a wake up call to live love.
Thankyou Carmel. This was a perfect reminder for me today.
Thank you Carmel this is Exactly what I needed to read. Esoteric practitioners have also shared with me the importance of “setting a good foundation and a consistent loving rhythm in my life.” This is something I have resisted for a long time with self-judgment. But now I feel it is time to change “I need a sense of rhythm in my life, a regular commitment to self-care that serves as my foundation” – and what I am working through is not being so hard on myself, letting go of pictures and letting myself find my natural being and flow.
Hi Arianne, one way in which to honour my need for setting a good foundation and consistent loving rhythm is to change my job – I had no sense of order having a job with irregular hours and irregular days in a rota that I had no control over. I ended up not knowing what day of the week it was (I worked weekends too) and couldn’t plan anything ahead. It feels much more settled to have a job where my hours are fixed. I can do more if I wish, but that will always be my choice, not an imposition.
Reading your blog again Carmel, sounds very similar to how I have been living the last few weeks. I realised I was going from one job to another, all over the place but not giving my body what it needs to be able to do all the things that are needed but with a joy and vitality. Not giving to myself leaves me depleted and also that less than me is what everything I do receives from me. I’ve spent today cleaning, organizing and loving spending the time with myself and doing things that support me for the rest of the week. I was saying to someone today, ‘I can not fully be with something if I am not organised in myself first!’.
I agree Aimee, it is so great just to remember to stop and be with oneself when life seems to be full of rushing about and seemingly getting nowhere fast. Frustration sets in and then the self judgment etc which just compounds the whole thing and life feels very complicated rather than simple and fluid.
“I’ve spent today cleaning, organizing and loving spending the time with myself and doing things that support me for the rest of the week”.
Consistency and commitment are two things I love having in my life and when they drop away it feels awful. Cleaning as I go, having gentle exercise in my day and finding moments to stop and check how I am going are wonderful supports. I am also starting to learn how important it is to not self bash when I do lose it or make choices I know won’t support me, as this just makes things worse. It also keeps me on this situation, usually akin even worse choices!
This is my experience too Fiona, the self bashing makes it even more worse than the actual act of not supporting ourselves. Also this is a way out for not taking responsibility and feeling the choices we have made and we go in a downward spiral. Instead of feeling we are okay, this is what happened and take care for what is needed at that moment to come back to what we know it true; that we are worth taking good care of.
Same for me Fiona. I’ve realised there is little to be gained by self-bashing, and a lot to be gained by taking responsibility and being honest with myself. I’m also experiencing that as this awareness and level of responsibility increases, so too does my consistency and commitment, in such a way that what may have been supportive some time ago needs to be taken up a notch. For example, years ago, just recognising I ‘was’ tired was a starting point in this commitment to myself, then it became going to bed earlier more consistently and now what I’m working on is consistency in the way I ‘prepare’ for bed…
Self bashing keeps us small, so that we don’t take responsibility for being the amazing beings we truly are. Learning to observe how we are living without judgement feels like an impossible challenge but leads to us accepting ourselves as we are and accepting and appreciating others as well, a far more harmonious way of living for all.
Carmel after a life-time of ‘doing’ I too often found myself giving “more importance to all the things I felt I had to do instead of being aware of my body and nurturing the real me.” After meeting Serge Benhayon and attending his presentations I became aware that there is another, more loving way to live and like you I started to make small changes in my life. This too has been life changing for me. With commitment and consistency the little changes establish a solid foundation and the bigger changes naturally follow.
You really highlight the importance of rhythm as well as commitment and consistency. I recently went overseas for 2 weeks where I was faced with many challenges. It could have been so easy to give in to them all. But I had a strong commitment to my rhythm and I was consistent. Even when the feeling was so strong to not stick to my rhythm, I honoured my commitment. And I am so glad I did as it really helped me to stay with me and not slide into a big blip of a downer.
Rhythm when travelling overseas is an interesting one – the thought and fear of jet lag may well be worse than the actual feeling in our bodies – it is great to honour our rhythm as soon as we are in another country and to move instantly into that time zone and not reflect on ‘It’s 3am back home’ – that only serves to make us feel tired.
Very true Carmel. More recently I went overseas again, this time to a near reversal of time zones. I was amazed at how easily I adjusted to the time zones (at both ends of the journey, so that I was left in no doubt that one was just a fluke!). I kept to my rhythm, my body felt great and travelling was a breeze.
I have discovered that it doesn’t have to be Monday to have that feeling. When I had sugar in my diet I didn’t feel like working, I’d rather be at home and when I got home I struggled committing to something and I seemed to get energized before bed, hence going to bed late. I had a rhythm of being out of rhythm. I am thankful to say that this is no longer the case. Now when my work mates wish for Friday, I understand where they are coming from as I to have felt like them.
Commitment and consistency in my daily rhythm is a integral part of feeling the flow that can naturally be there throughout the day, once I drop the ball then it unravels like string. Prior to Universal Medicine it would be at this point, without much consciousness that I would want to self medicate to make things or me feel “better” and distract me from my misery. The thing is once I gave up on all that and started to build a solid foundation with the Gentle Breath Meditation and so forth life didn’t become “better”, it has become an absolute joy!
This is great Carmel, and so recognizable… Choosing to be in the heaviness of all the things I have to do, and rewarding myself at the end of the week with so long nights awake. And I do totally agree, the support that is in consistent self care is so very important. And not to be walked over.
I found it very difficult at first to break my ingrained patterns of self-disregard and self-abuse. It has definitely taken a deep commitment and an exponentially increase in consistency to tip the balance from abuse to self-care and love. After a while of exercising a consistent commitment it became easier to notice when I had slipped back into my loveless ways and to arrest this faster. Self-love is an unfolding path for me, one that I vastly appreciate finding, through Serge Benhayon and choosing for myself.
I’m finding this really helpful Carmel to come back and re-read. Reminding myself of the importance of the consistency with the commitment to me.
”…don’t try to do too much” – these words stood out for me. In the past I would plan my day with jobs to be done. Now I am learning to be present with myself so, for example, if the car needs washing and don’t feel like doing it, then I won’t do it. This is a big turn around for me.
A gorgeous reminder of the power in living a supportive rhythm and the affect complacency can have.
Well said Carmel. What stood out for me was this: ”Appreciating and putting me first helps me to be strong enough to support others. It’s not selfish, it is essential self-care.”
because that is so true! We are maybe often thinking that with making more loving choices we are being self-ish well in fact if it truly supporting you in can only support others around you too – because you will be the most of you ! And they receive it. Gorgeous article. Commitment & Consistency are both essential to living the true you!
Very true Carmel, nowadays ill rhythms stand out very clearly and pretty soon. It is really hard to sustain one such kind of living.
I know just what you are talking about Carmel, the need for a sense of rhythm without having a rhythm. My downfall is the dishes and the housework. I have work to do on this one.
Great sharing on commitment and consistency. I can relate to it very much, to let go and start neglect the little details is deadly and it catches up strongly and then suddenly you feel totally our of place and look for the big thing that happened….but it was actually the lack of self care and detail of your true rhythm. Such a great reminder Carmel, thank you!
It is indeed the little self-loving things that create a solid foundation. And these so-called little things tend to be left out when busy. That is my experience. This occurred to me a few weeks ago. I could immediately feel how it affected me in a non-supporting way. I then committed myself to make these self-loving ‘things’ equally important to others things I needed to do in the day. And then by just that the appreciation and joy came along again: the joy of my bed tidied up, my clothes ironed and in the cubboard and my desk clean for the next day.
Oh boy, do I know that one: to give more attention to what has to be done than being aware of my body and what it its telling me. It makes a lot of difference in how tired I am and how my mood is, since I changed that.
“I’d given more importance to all the things I felt I had to do instead of being aware of my body and nurturing the real me” How many times have I done this! Thanks Carmel for the loving reminder to take time for something very important – me!
So true, wonderful to read this blog again and to get this lovely reminder. The day/week can take over and we forget about ourselves, our rhythm and also the simplicity of life. Absolutely no need for a Monday morning feeling!
Seems like the ‘Monday morning feeling’ is a universal phrase. I hear it quite often….sometimes not on Mondays!! Just blame Monday for being Monday and move on without a thought for what has happened in the preceding days.
Great blog Carmel. I agree, commitment and consistency are the foundations of having a strong rhythm. Its very easy to say to ourselves to take this day off from walking or doing our usual routines because, lets face it, nobody is going to know but unfortunately our bodies will know. I rarely have that ‘monday morning’ feeling these days but if I do, I know that somewhere along the line I haven’t been as consistently committed as I could have been.
Carmel, I love the way your colleagues lovingly said “that is not you”, without trying to fix you. Just saying those simple words was not only a ‘stop’ for you, but something you were then able to share with us all. What is so lovely is that they knew you well enough to see that that was not you – not the true Carmel. To me your blog reflects how much we need a rhythm in our lives and when we let go of certain things that support us on a daily basis this can then throw us out, and change how we feel about ourselves.
“I’d given more importance to all the things I felt I had to do instead of being aware of my body and nurturing the real me.” Such an important realisation Carmel, one I can also get caught up in. Thankyou for sharing.
Hi Carmel, thank you for highlighting the simple choices that are truly needed to support us all with everyday life. I can so relate to the importance of consistency and commitment. Without them, things around me would certainly start to unravel very quickly..
I also had a wayward day recently Carmel, where I turned ‘feral’. Looking back at the cause of the drastic change had me notice two instances where I didn’t choose to support me and the result was an incredible change away form me and yes everyone noticed. I realise once we choose to honour ourselves in full the body is quick to show us when we waver and allow other influences in.
Great reminder Carmel and just what I needed to read today as I reset and deepen my commitment to my daily rhythm. Its great to know that my rhythm is my trusted friend and the greatest support for all aspects of life.
Well said Annemarie for rhythm is all about quality and commitment to consistency.
Thank you for your honesty Carmel. This is an issue I have struggled with for much of my life and your wise words really hit home. Choosing to live in a way that supports well being is not only beneficial to us but to all, simple and so powerful.
“Appreciating and putting me first helps me to be strong enough to support others ” I agree Carmel. I can only truly help others if I am feeling myself as well, otherwise I find it difficult to relate to others because I am so busy focussing on my own problems! Haha p. How great would it be if we developed a way of being that others always knew us by, and it reflected who we truly are. Then it would be so supportive when they say ” you don’t feel like yourself today”
I agree, Harry, we can all be great reflections, inspiring us all to be fully ‘who we truly are.’
Very appreciative of myself for coming back and reading your blog again Carmel. Through your words I can feel how far away I am from a loving daily rhythm. Thank you for another wake up call to be my true loving and joyful self… not this moping victim that blames the world for being disconnected! It’s up to me to take responsibility and love myself in all that I do.
It is really that simple – rhythm can not be without consistency and commitment. And living without a rhythm that lovingly supports, always feels out of step. Great reminder Carmel, thank you!
Thank you Carmel. Commitment and consistency is the key message for me including committing not only to care for me but to stay aware of my body and deal with reactions as they come rather than dull myself.
When I let people in, my space is uncluttered, but when I don’t, it is evident.
I’m going to tidy up my room now 🙂
Carmel, I LOVE the absolute honesty of your blog, so many people would say ‘yeah hey I’m doing okay’ never mind writing a blog to say otherwise. This is an amazing and refreshing reflection for so many people, myself included. Hands up, I can get myself into this same place – and I can vouch for the fact it is because ” I’d given more importance to all the things I felt I had to do instead of being aware of my body and nurturing the real me.” When I do this I run myself into the ground, end up cranky, grumpy, emotional, woe me, and with no clarity – I just run on auto pilot, functioning through the day with no joy, playfulness or true love. And as you share it is all the little things that help support with this, such as how I walk, the way I cook my tea, what time I go to bed, when to switch my computer off (even during the day if I am using it as a distraction to avoid taking more care of me) and building a supportive and ‘consistent’ (this is massive as I can feel consistency is where the real true strength, rock like steadiness and solidness will come from) rhythm in all the little things.
I agree gylrae, thank you for your honestly Carmel. Most of us have off days, and as you have shared a consistent loving rhythm with ourselves is what supports us to come back to us..
Yes, Gyl, that ‘how I walk’ is being extended to notice how I stand up, how I walk even a few feet to my next activity – we walk a lot, most of it without thinking or at least thinking about something else – it feels great to walk every step with full presence and awareness.
Hi Gylrae, I have noticed the same pattern of using the computer as a way to distract myself but had not considered that it may be distracting me also from taking care of me!
It is very refreshing blog, Carmel, super honest and with many points to ponder.
The first thing for me was-I don’t have Mondays as such as I work pretty much seven days a week. In a way every day is Monday. So I need to be ready for work at any day. I love it, there is the flow and the sense of no – time. But when I loose it-and it could be a little thing like watching TV till late or eating too many sweets.
Little things. Moments. Particles. All are playing a huge role. Like domino effect-one tiny domino falling down could bring down Empire State building.
So if we put small things right and do it consistently it definitely helps us to build a healthy rhythm and supports us in playing big.
‘when to switch my computer off (even during the day if I am using it as a distraction to avoid taking more care of me)’ It is amazing how we can get sucked in to social media, emails and every distraction our computers offer and then we lost track of time and there’s none left for looking after ourselves, no ‘Me-time’. Being able to clock it and press the power off button is a true act of self care.
I agree Carmel, but I am also realising if I am with myself in everything I do – then this is all time with me’.
Love this blog, Carmel, particularly because it highlights that we don’t randomly ‘just lose it’, but that we build a momentum before we clock that Monday morning feeling. I find going back over where and how that momentum gathered is a great way to expose and identify those areas in my life where I need to pay particular attention to commitment and consistency. What we can’t hide from is that it all comes down to the choices we make in each and every moment. They determine the quality of how we’re going to be in our future moments.
‘What we can’t hide from is that it all comes down to the choices we make in each and every moment. They determine the quality of how we’re going to be in our future moments.’ Very true, Cathy, sadly most of humanity are not yet aware of that fact.
True Cathy we can’t hide from the momentum we gather. If that momentum supports us in our commitment to loving self-care the day flows. If it erodes that built momentum our days get all cranky and jumbled, and it feels horrible.
Reading your blog Carmel has reminded me of the loving choices I make for myself and how that results in the livingness of the day. Thank you, a beautiful confirmation and inspiration to take it deeper.
Carmel, thank you for reminding us of the importance of ‘a sense of rhythm’ in our lives including ‘a regular commitment to self-care’ that serves as our foundation and supports us throughout our day, no matter what. As you so aptly described our day flows more lovingly when we have a consistent rhythm which we are committed to. Living this way, ‘work’ becomes a joy rather than a chore.
Hi Anne, it’s funny, when I say ‘Have a nice day’ or ‘Have fun’ to customers, they say ‘You too’ and then add ‘oh no you can’t, you’re at work’ so I simply tell them that actually I AM having fun at work and I mean it – my work is fun, because I’m with people and I love being with people.
This made me laugh Carmel, but yes that is what is being said.. How great you are showing a different way.
Lovely sharing Carmel, Commitment and consistency do make a huge difference in my life if I let that be, but sometimes I lose this and get myself tangled up in all sorts of family dramas. There is a need for me to put me first more often looking at what I would choose for my day then everyone gets a whole person not one flying in all directions.
A great blog to return too – A great question to ask ourselves – “How have I allowed myself to be less than who I truly am?” a great ‘stop’ point to really feel where we are truly at and what changes we can make to avoid that ‘Monday feeling’ whatever the day of the week.
‘Appreciating and putting me first helps me to be strong enough to support others. It’s not selfish, it is essential self-care.’ How could we ever think that self-care and self-love was selfish. it is as you say Carmel you are joyful, vital and playful and fun to be with. We can only be this with others if we have felt this in our own body otherwise we give others an empty package and we will be running out of energy and get exhausted.
‘COMMITMENT and CONSISTENCY – I need to commit to ME, the True Me and be consistent in these little self-loving ways so that I create a solid foundation of support for myself.’ You’ve hit the nail on the head here, Carmel. Thank you.
Love it Carmel. Here’s to consistency and commitment of self love. Thank you.
Commitment and consistency with the little things does make all the difference, and a whole lot of loving appreciation every time we make one of these little choices 🙂
This is so important in my everyday life. I have observed when I run or rush around, I’m exhausted! Soon as I go into the natural rhythm of my body, I’m perfect.
Thank you Carmel, it is a great reminder that when we don’t function well that it is a reflection of how we are with ourselves, our own Livingness. When we lose our rhythm it is so easy to lose our way, and then we become ruled by our lack of rhythm until we take steps to reclaim our own Livingness.
Most of the world has a Monday morning feeling really! Lets take away the coffee and see how everyone gets going , then the reality of people rhythms will be revealed. It is just taken for granted that it’s ok to have stimulants to keep the artificial rhythms going, whereas what is possible is, as Carmel says, is a graceful interaction with the day and with oneself.
What a lovely phrase, Chris, ‘a graceful interaction with the day and with oneself.’ In terms of stimulants, I haven’t drunk coffee for years but used to eat a lot of fruit. I am now finding that eating less sugary foods allows me to feel just how exhausted I am and then it’s easy to go to bed early, or rest when I need to.
Carmel I have over the years developed a rhythm that is pretty consistent. I know that it’s the consistency in my rhythm that keeps me consistent. It actually doesn’t feel difficult to commit to it as I feel very committed to myself, whereas in the past I was committed to everyone else and permanently exhausted!
Hi Alexis – I think that’s the point – we commit to everyone else first – something to do with many of the religions we are brought up in, perhaps. And it does take time to develop that consistent rhythm – eventually it builds on itself because we feel so awful when we are not in rhythm, but in the early stages, we don’t feel anything so can’t tell. The more we refine what we eat and the more we develop stillness, the more we can feel, and that supports us in knowing what’s good to be consistent with.
The part in your blog where you ‘twigged’ that you had given more importance to the things you had to do rather than being aware of your body’s need for self care has been really relevant for me this week, Carmel. I had quite a lot of things that needed to be done, but I’ve been there before and ‘lost’ it. This time I made the decision to put self care first – its all got done, and I’m still in my rhythm. Win win!
Very good point Alexis. Committing to a rhythm is a commitment to ourselves. Committing to others is so common and does not allow for a consistent rhythm.
Consistency is something I’m working on at the moment Alexis, because I totally agree with you – having a consistent rhythm keeps be steady and grounded throughout the day. When my morning routine is ace for a week I feel like I’m on top of the world! Amazing what something so simple can do!
How have I allowed myself to be less than who I truly am? This is a question I am going to ask myself from now on, every time things go a bit astray. Great sharing Carmel, I too am discovering more and more the importance of commitment and consistency, two words I used to consider as swear words.
True words of wisdom here Carmel. You have reminded me just how important rhythm is.
Carmel your blog contains great tips for building a solid foundation, which is a huge requirement in establishing a harmonious and vibrant life.
I can totally relate Carmel! I recently started a new job, and after having a very trying past year and a half I was very much looking forward to living a new rhythm through my routine. I have amazed myself at my consistency with looking after myself and allowing myself enough time to do what I need to do in order to support me through the day. I have to say, it has been working better than I imagined. The commitment I’m giving myself is definitely being felt through my work and my colleagues and I’m yet to feel any bouts of Monday-itis. But, if I do, I’ll know why.
That’s great Elodie, I notice the same thing – when I commit to looking after myself, NOT becoming tired or exhausted and having a consistent, solid rhythm people around me can’t help but feel it. Sometimes they’re even inspired to do the same themselves.
That’s so true Elodie and Susie. I have started a new job too and although I struggled at first, the more I commit to me and my rhythm, the more my day flows with ease and no more lack of confidence or self doubt, and I look forward to going to work as it is becoming more and more about building relationships and not just ‘getting the job done’.
Carmel, seeing rythums and routines as essential parts in my daily life as a consistent marker. Then it is much clearer if something is going on and to catch it.
Commitment and consistency are good ones. With them, a solid base for your life is made that you can keep coming back to when you feel off. I find it lovely how interactions with others can lead to much more then an quick ‘how are you?’ And ‘Good thanks’ moment
So true Emily, building a foundation for ourselves based on love, commitment and consistency that we can fall back on when something doesn’t go quite right is an amazing support for us — it helps us stay solid and not waiver in the face of challenge and turmoil. And it is very do-able and practical; all it requires is our own dedication and commitment to care for ourselves, to be honest and truthful in the lives we live, in our relationships and in all that we do. Love returns itself exponentially and we can feel surrounded by it very quickly.
‘Love returns itself exponentially and we can feel surrounded by it very quickly.’ Beautiful words, thank you.
I agree Carmel, it can be tricky sometimes to change patterns that are so familiar to us that we have identified that that’s who we are. It is with honesty about what is not working and serving us in our lives that we can commit to start making changes and pay attention to the quality in which we do things, as this will allow us to let go of unfavourable behaviours with much ease.
I recently came to realise that I am making changes here and there but it’s all very slow and inconsistent. Then I beat myself up for not ‘being where I should be’. I’m learning that appreciation is the key – the more I appreciate me, the more I pay attention to the details, and staying present leaves me feeling energised, not exhausted.
Totally agree about the appreciation Carmel, even on an ‘off’ day I can appreciate the lesson it holds for me. I have also found that ‘I need a sense of rhythm in my life, a regular commitment to self care that serves as my foundation and supports me throughout the day, no matter what I do or what hours I work’. Thank you for sharing that golden nugget.
Totally agree, Carmel, appreciating is key! For me this is work in progress and I am committing to have this in my daily routine to build a foundation. Accepting that I am where I am with learning things is also very helpful.
I agree Francisco, it is letting go of the deeply engrained behaviours that can be tricky, but with dedication to ourselves, and commitment it can be done. Realising that these behaviours are not from our essence is the key to making changes and then we can take our consistency out into the world and then there is no more ‘Monday morning feeling’ as every day is the same wonder-full day.
I agree. I have found that when I bring appreciation for myself and also for what I bring and share this with humanity, my commitment to making changes is far greater, as I can feel that by letting go of unfavourable behaviours I am also helping those around me.
Monday mornings seems to be quite difficult for many people at my workplace and their magic word is “happy Friday” when in fact Fridays are not as happy as since many people are still in the exhaustion like they were on the Monday but thinking the week end will give them a kind of relief. I have experienced it in the past, at the time I was so exhausted that even spending the whole day in bed did not make a big difference as I was up all night until early morning. What an awful feeling!
This is an interesting observation about rhythm. Often when it gets to the weekend, people want to sleep in etc as they think this is what they need to get over the exhaustion. In my case, being consistent with my rhythm is what has worked for me. I get up just as early at weekends as I do on workdays for example. My rhythm is not affected by what I am doing each day. The consistency in my rhythm has provided me with a consistency of energy. When I need to rest, it is more about the way I am doing things and taking short rests during the day.
This consistent rhythm is particularly essential for anyone working irregular hours or shift work. Nurses and other people who work long night shifts have a particularly challenging time with this. I only work late a couple of nights every week but it means I don’t get to bed till well gone 9pm, so I’m working on staying steady throughout the day, and taking care to rest on the days in between. As you say, Nikki, it is more about the way we are doing things.
Being consistent is something I have wrestled with. Probably trying to do this peters out because trying means a heightened effort that cannot be sustained. What could be a key is to naturally feel the rhythm of my body and consistently be guided by that.
I agree Amanda, when I take the ‘trying’ out of my day and just do as my body feels, everything seems to flow, I feel lighter and less tired.
Amanda,I too have struggled with being consistent in every area of my life. But as you say: “to naturally feel the rhythm of my body and consistently be guided by that”, I can feel is the way to bring more consistency into every moment. No struggle, or have to, just a natural following of what my body is sharing with me, all of the time.
In a practical sense, I look at what I am consistent at: e.g. I brush my teeth every day without fail – why? Because I recognise it as essential self-care (I don’t like the furry-mouth feeling and I don’t want to lose my teeth). I put cream on my feet so they don’t go dry and cracked. Therefore I know that I can be consistent – perhaps it is a case of understanding the importance of everything else – exercise, a daily walk, being gentle. Unfortunately if we miss a day, we think we can get away with it if we can’t feel the effects of not doing it, but a day easily turns into a few days then a week and then our bodies are shouting at us. I’ve never been one for strict discipline, but I know that if I do walk, I connect with myself and my whole day pans out better – the body’s equivalent of that fresh mouth taste. When I see/feel a result, I take action to continue. I just have to start and if I fail, just start again – eventually, like brushing my teeth, these things will become a part of my daily rhythm.
What you say here Carmel makes so much sense. If we feel the effect on our bodies of what we are doing it is much more easy to continue doing it. Like you say exercise, self-love and nurturing may not have the direct effect as brushing your teeth does but the long term effect is something very beautiful.
““to naturally feel the rhythm of my body and consistently be guided by that”,”
Yes ladies, I agree. It seems to be about letting go of what my head tells me to do and surrender to the feeling in my body.
Thanks Carmel for a fine example of taking responsibility of where you are at and you obviously made the necessary changes when things weren’t right
Yes, looking after yourself when you have a lot (too much?) to do is hugely, hugely important and the only way to manage. Otherwise something eventually has to break.
Yes I heard someone say the other day that when we are in overwhelm and we actually need ourselves the most and those steps we take to care for ourselves in those moments, is usually when we stop doing those things. We become too busy to re-set the kitchen, go for a walk ,make yourself a nourishing meal etc… It is through Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon that I have reconnected to the fact that in these busy times, it is vital to keep doing these things that support us and building our rhythm and commitment to taking care of ourselves. Otherwise you can go into too much drive to get things done.
Thank you Christoph and Sarah for your words of wisdom – it is when I am tired that negativity and self criticism can creep in, so supporting myself in small ways becomes a crucial part of my self-care. Keeping the draining-board clear in my kitchen is a small thing but makes a huge difference.
What a beautiful simple message Carmel and one that I need to pay more attention to, thank you.
It´s a good reminder to not let go of what supports me or us daily – with this loving support there is a much stronger foundation for the day..
Thank you everyone for your awesome comments – they are inspiring. I have recently been on a five day retreat in Australia and have been able to re-imprint my early morning routine, which I’m hoping to continue once I return to the UK. What I have learned during this time is how much I am hard on my self, and how much I hold back expressing what I truly feel in order to not upset others, and so now I am working on deepening my relationship with myself, taking tender care in the way I dress, speak, walk and even how I think.
This has been an old habit of mine Carmel, to hold back my expression, to not shine too bright because this would upset others or/and show them a reflection that they could not handle…. all just a big trick in the belief that you are serving the other by not shining and showing them up for chosing not to shine, when in fact no-one is served and on-one is evolving. I have found that with my commitment to self love in making many choices that truly nurture me and my body, it has become so much easier to express what is there to express…. which I am still working on and so much more aware of.
Hello Carmel, indeed what could be more important than being aware of your body and nurturing the real you. Beautifully expressed, thank you.
So simple Carmel what you share….I notice that not being myself starts to show itself with the smallest thing like leaving a cup in the sink instead of putting it in the dishwasher….delaying that seems to be like pulling a thread and all of a sudden everything rapidly cascades into a mess and the disorder I feel inside is there to be seen all around me on the outside: same same. Restoring myself inside often comes with restoring the outside to its usual order, beauty and flow.
These words are so beautiful Carmel
“The true me is joyful, playful and fun to be around.”
The consistent rhythm and flow of our lives, as you have said, is so important to maintaining the joy, playfulness and fun.
I loved reading your blog Carmel, thank you.
Putting myself first is not something I do, in fact, putting myself last is the norm. I had 3 days of work in a new environment and a Connective Tissue appointment on the 4th day. I kept telling myself to just get through the working days then I could relax. Today, I feel I have finally understood that by not putting myself first in a loving and self caring way means that I am constantly anxious, living on nervous tension and therefore exhausted. I was not present to myself so I could hardly be present to others. Thank you for reinforcing my awareness Carmel.
It is such an ingrained pattern, especially for women, to put ourselves last. And it goes much deeper than I thought it was. Putting ourselves first still has the connotation of being selfish and the belief that we have to be in service all of the time, but not to ourselves, is really strong.
Agree delorme2013, I was raised with the belief that I was selfish if I did not put others first. The concept of self-love was quite foreign to my parents. Although I have done an about turn and have developed more self-love and self-nurturing, I am constantly surprised how deep the old patterns are ingrained. Once one is discarded another one comes up – the layers that we take on can be very deep. Thanks to the presentation of Serge Benhayon I am now able to recognise and discard these remnants before they take hold. As Carmel says, ’Commitment and Consistency’ are the key!
Yes Anne, we are starting to make a change in that age old pattern, it takes a while before we have peeled away all the layers. I am also surprised how many aspects there are to look at as a ‘modern emancipated western woman’….
When I get that Monday Morning Feeling or that feeling of not wanting to be a work it shows me that there is something that I’m not dealing with and that instead of allowing myself to be in my heart and trust that I know what is needed I try to hide and defend myself from it. By being able to connect to myself I can see exactly what is required and bring more understanding to a situation and soon that Monday morning feeling just washes away.
It is through my commitment to create more love in my body, by the choices that I make regarding everything that I do that allows me the have consistency in life, and that gives me a more solid foundation to deal with whatever is coming my way.
Strong words and a great example for me. thank you Franciscoclara8.
It feels great to read about someone who is finding that they can live in a more joyful way just by making simple choices anyone can make. It feels very inspiring.
Consistency works both ways as highlighted here by you Carmel. If we let slip the things we know that support us we are in effect being consistent with our inconsistency. Interesting to note then we have to call this out and shift everything back to being consistently loving and supportive of the true me or you.
Hi Carmel
Thank you for sharing; It is such an incredible feeling when that consistency is there and so noticeable when it drops. I find I can really step up my commitment when it is needed for a project, for work, for my child — and then when the intensity ends I relax my commitment and lose the consistency and in this way I hold myself back or rather resist my evolution. I feel that consistency needs to be there with or without deadlines and a commitment to holding it for me first (as you say) and then for my child, family or clients.
I agree Carmel, I’ve found that ongoingly developing self care, provides a foundation and strength from which to live life and bring a real quality to whatever we do.
Carmel, I can so relate to so much of what you have shared. I too can get so much into the doing of what I feel I should be doing, while letting go of the details you have mentioned. Yes, leaving the washing up until next meal, sometimes the bed unmade (which I actually hate, used to make it as soon as I had my shower), so I can get on to my computer and do all the things that I THINK are more important. But I can feel the effect this has, my home is no longer the lovely nurturing place that I usually love to be in. It disturbs me for the rest of the day. A time to change my rhythm a little, I can feel how very important it is for me to really look after myself first, then I will be able to do what I need to do in a much more loving way.
Very inspiring Carmel, the joy of consistency in caring for myself and connecting deeply during the day is something I don’t always allow. Your blog was yet another beautiful reminder that it serves to do this on so many levels. Thank you Serge Benhayon for showing the way.
Thank you Carmel, I love your blog. It reminds me to be commited to life and stay consistent to self love and self care. Sometimes I find it easy to slip back into my old habit s and let a few things slip but that is part of my learning and not to strive for perfection but appreciation from myself.
It was lovely to re-read this awesome sharing again today – My body is telling me big time that in your words Carmel ” I’d given more importance to all the things I felt I had to do instead of being aware of my body and nurturing the real me” how so easy it is to fall into old patterns.
Inspiring sharing Carmel thank you. I love how you share, that you and I find also, the importance of a sense of rhythm in your life, a regular commitment to self-care that serves as your foundation and supports you throughout the day, no matter what you do or what hours you work. This is a fundamental commitment to living joyfully and healthily.
Carmel, this is an awesome example of someone (you) who has developed in their life such a supportive rhythm and commitment to self-care that it stands as a foundation to the true you. So when it happens, as it does occasionally, that we put other things before our commitment to self-care, it can become a slippery slide… but if we’re typically consistent, as you were, it becomes obvious to those around us (and eventually ourselves) that something is not right. Once we see that we have the choice to bring ourselves back to the loving way we lived before. However, without first having a foundation of consistency and commitment we would continue to stumble in the dark constantly miserable as the vast majority of people tend to do… and sadly nobody notices because that is their known norm.
Self-care is forever ongoing and an evolving journey, what was self care yesterday is normal living today.
I am really appreciating consistency and commitment at the moment.
I always saw life as having its ups and downs, only being able to appreciate the good by experiencing the bad.
But now I understand the opposite to be true – and that actually building a consistent way of living – that is true – doesn’t give you good or bad – but it does bring love to your day and to others.
I am very much enjoying this new found way of living.
I agree Hvmorden. I was quite hooked on the highs and lows of life and indulged in drama to feel alive. Through a deepening commitment to developing a rythmn to my daily living through self care my life is so much more real and enjoyable. I’m feeling more alive, more at ease and more me than ever before.
Beautiful Anne Marie – In knowing you personally, I certainly can see a stability and consistency in the way you live.
Carmel, I love this blog. I can so relate to all you say. I still have these ‘off-days’ and realise the same patterns you describe. As I have taken more things on to be done, I have also found myself at times letting go the very important things that nurture me. Yes, if I let things go in the house – going to do them ‘later’ (one at a time, so they build up) – then I find I am not really comfortable in my own home. I have come to realise how important it is to do the little jobs as is necessary, it is so much more lovely to live in my home then. Similar with the daily walk and other exercises that my ageing body needs me to be doing regularly. It is so easy to put them off during the day, to do a little later, and then the end of the day comes, and I have not got around to them.
Much more attention to my daily rhythm, and then I don’t have those off-days. Thank you.
It is lovely to see and feel old patterns drop away, it’s important to rejoice these moments, no matter how small they are.
So very true Matthew, appreciation for ourselves and what we are choosing as a self loving rhythm, is a great confirmation of the love that we are.
Carmel I could see myself reflected in your blog. Commitment and consistency form the foundation, so when they slip my life falls into disarray and this can lead to ‘off days’. Thank you for the timely reminder.
‘ I’d given more importance to all the things I felt I had to do instead of being aware of my body and nurturing the real me.’ Yes, Carmel, it can be so easy to do this when all those ‘things’ I have committed to are calling out to be done and it is a big temptation to override myself and just keep going when I am tired and my body needs to rest. Letting my body lead the way and surrendering to its ways rather than ‘my’ ways is something I am learning. Your blog exposes very clearly the results of not paying attention to ourselves and letting our ideals and beliefs about what we should be doing dictate.
What you share here Carmel are no small things, at all. The foundational way in which we live either offers us the ability to express, yes ‘the true me’ (I agree entirely!), or to offer a diminished and compromised version of ourselves. In no way is this about seeking any outward perfection, but rather our ability to listen deeply to what is going on in our bodies and for us, which offers us the opportunity to respond to what’s going on in a way that is truly supportive. How many of us truly stop to listen and reflect in such a way?
It’s such a great learning experience to track back, so to speak, as you’ve done, and recognise an accumulation of choices and how you may have been feeling, allowed things to get to a point of not being quite oneself. For me, there’s a degree of this process of feeling and honouring all that I feel, that is ‘ongoing’ in life, as I realise the things that have led me to give up on committing consistently to being me – there is always so much to see, and also to bring to our everyday ‘way’. Thanks for sharing so candidly here Carmel.
Thank you Carmel for this wise and inspiring blog and for reminding me how important it is to have self-care as the basis and not let yourself get distracted by the Fata Morgana of a mountain of work to be done. For what is needed there will always be time and the more we are with ourselves the more time there will be to do what is needed. So: self-care first!.
A beautiful honest blog Carmel. Commitment and consistency out of love for ourselves.
This is a wonderfully honest blog Carmel, and one, which one can certainly relate to and identify with. I feel that its real value lies with the sharing of it with others, as you have clearly identified the problem and the remedial course of action. Fortunately you have, with your access to the Benhayon family and Universal Medicine, the ideal source of support and help. A Huge thank you for sharing with us Carmel!
Thanks Carmel for sharing, I too have been inspired by Serge Benhayon, Natalie and Simone Benhayon and Sara Williams immensely so to keep working on a strong rhythm and being consistent with it. It is so easy to let it slide and the moment you make that choice I can feel the shift in my overall quality to myself and to life. This is such a life changing way to live that when I have those moments of not wanting to go there it stands out like a sore thumb and I can feel the impact even strong. Loving dedicating myself to me is worth every second.
Once again your down to earth and practical style Carmel is like a great tonic. I realise how important rhythm and consistency but I am still easily thrown out if I am not careful and get down on myself. Your blog is very supportive thank you.
This is great Carmel the fact that you can be open enough to admit that when work colleagues ask you are you, are you alright and then to admit that ‘No you are not’. And to realise it is not the true me, then reflect how much you are out of rhythm and how your daily life reflects that. This awareness you bring to catch yourself and come back to your joyful self is amazing. Also for your colleagues to observe this must be so inspiring.
It is really lovely when Monday morning is the same as Friday or Sunday morning. No day of the week is different, yet consistently the same in terms of quality and a state of being, just a constant hum of joy and equalness.
An awesome blog Carmel, I love that you questioned why you had that ‘monday morning feeling’ and was not feeling your true self. You took responsibility and simply honoured the fact you had dropped all the things in your life that supported you – I agree commitment and consistency is the key. Thank you for the reminder!
I love the honesty you offer Carmel about an everyday experience (or series of experiences) that we can all relate to. A recent addition to my morning rhythm is a little bit of time dedicated to dance or movement in a way that allows me to reconnect with and appreciate my body’s natural flow and harmony. With this I’m finding a solidness is (slowly) growing in me that serves as a foundation from which I draw from throughout my day.
Wow I could have written most of that about me and last week had a very similar experience at work of not being my usual playful, caring self to the point I did not want to communicate with anyone and when I did I was blunt. It felt awful to be acting this way but I got caught up in the momentum and carried on for most of the day. I too reflected and found I had allowed a build up of tiredness and not appreciating myself for several days prior to this. Thank you for sharing you story and for highlighting the importance of consistency. I love this “I need to commit to ME, the True Me and be consistent in these little self-loving ways so that I create a solid foundation of support for myself.”
I agree, Michelle, Commitment and Consistency as the big words for me to remember every day.
‘I need a sense of rhythm in my life, a regular commitment to self-care that serves as my foundation and supports me throughout my day, no matter what I do or what hours I work.’
Something I am working on too.
I am glad you are feeling your chirpy self again Carmel. I am amazed by how better I feel just by tidying up around me.
Thank you Carmel – I really enjoyed reading your blog first thing this morning – “Commitment and Consistency” yes fantastic ingredients for our everyday living. It was so easy for me to fall into the trappings of “unloving” ways to be with myself so, it makes sense that it does take commitment to bring back more self care, self nurturing into our lives again. If we choose to. A beautiful foundation to always support us.
A great reminder that consistency and commitment are so important as our rhythms determine the quality of our lives.
Carmel, I love your straightforward way of expressing, thank you for a super blog.
Thank you Carmel. If we want anything to change ‘out there’, we must always come back to the ‘what’s in here’. I’ve tried and tested this and every time when I come back to the consistency of nurturing me, the issues that I thought were issues diminish and disappear, it really is like magic.
Awesome Matthew, it is amazing how creating a little distance from our issues can make them seem so much smaller – less of a big monster we have to tackle and more like a piece of fluff caught on our jumper.
Yes Matthew, I recognise a lot of common sense simplicity in what you say. The more we care for ourselves the less issues appear and those that do are often much less of a problem than they were before. It’s all about self care and then going out in to the world from that foundation. As you say, tried and tested, the best way for sure.
You are so right Mathew brown. If I am looking for a solution from someone else then I know that I need to look more honestly within myself. The issues will disappear. They were only there because I had created them.
Brilliant blog Carmel – simple, practical and inspiring as always. Simply from noticing that you weren’t yourself and taking the time to ask yourself why, you allowed the space for these super supportive revelations to surface. Your blogs really are real gems!
I agree Carmel, to change old habits is a work in progress, it takes dedication, love and consistency – and the judging certainly doesn’t help.
The judging takes us two steps back, instead of two steps forward. Where this is judgement there is a lack of understanding, as judgement is a remedy for the lack of understanding.
It shows how self care is in every detail of life, and the importance to nurture ourselves in giving attention to them. So we can be playful and fun to be with…
Yeah it’s worth it! Much rather be around me when I choose to love myself in my actions rather than when I am off grumpy and self indulgent!
Love the honesty of this comment Vanessa.
I love what you have said here delorme2013 – it is so true, it is joyful and simple to be with someone who truly honours and looks after themselves – you can feel the difference.
Firstly for me, is the honesty in that you were able to see for yourself that something was not right. Then from that place being able to back track and see how it wasn’t just that day that was off but in fact the “monday blues” was the end result of several days of letting go of your commitment and consistency to you and your every day.
How familiar is that feeling? It’s a bit of a snowball effect like you’ve described Carmel. For me, the moment I make that very casual decision to not do something that I know will support me, it helps me make the same decision in the next opportunity I get. I find I do this on a daily basis.
I can easily slip into a black hole, and as I write this I realise that the reason it’s easy is because I make choosing loving choices out to be a bit of a chore.
The more my attitude toward caring for myself is a bother, the less of a habit it will become and therefore I will continue to find each day more challenging than it actually needs to be. Hmmm, interesting!
Very honest Elodie, and if it feels like a bother to care for ourselves, (it was for me in the past), how present are we? I have found that in making one loving choice, it is easier to make more loving choices…which stemmed from creating a new foundation of; I am worth it and I count in this world.
I relate to your comment jacqmcfadden04. If you have a foundation that says ‘I am worth and I count in this world,’ then you are more likely to bother to care for yourself.
Thank you Carmel, such a confirmation how to take back your quality in life. When you said COMMITMENT and CONSISTENCY, I felt the relief and the simplicity of this and it being the foundation to bring vitality and well-being in our lives.
I recently had a ‘heads-up’ by some loving friends not to make any one thing in my life more important than other things. It is important for me to have balance in my life so that one thing does not become a chore instead of a joy. I loved your antidote to ‘Monday morning blues’ Carmel …
Carmel, I also feel the importance to setting a consistency and committment to my rhythm, then when things start to drop it sticks out so far and doesn’t go on for days or weeks.
Thanks Carmel and oh so true! Its simplicity really and makes perfect sense. I know myself when I lose my rhythm everything else seems to suffer. Having a good and consistent rhythm brings a joy to my day and supports me in life. The best medicine!
I agree Carmel that changing old patterns of behaviour without going into self-judgement can be tricky and it is all to easy to fall into a familiar pattern of beating myself up for falling into another old pattern! Recently I have found that when this happens, stopping and really appreciating myself and my surroundings can put a stop to this merry go round.
I feel you have highlighted something very supportive and valuable here, if we do not have consistency and we do not support ourselves to live well, we tire and this impacts on our moods and health. Your honesty and observation, highlights how this can be turned around through a commitment to “you”, because caring for ourselves is important it is a foundation that supports our every day.
I found: if I commit to the true me, everything else is unfolding and I get pulled to what I have to do this day with joy and ease.
Thank you Sandra, and I have discovered that if I am really present with all of me in everything that I do, then the day unfolds beautifully and easily.
Thank you Carmel. Your blog beautifully highlights just how much we can be affected if our rhythm becomes a little ‘off kilter’. As you say, the consistency and commitment are key. This can be challenging at times, but recognising the importance of both allows us the honesty to see when we are ‘not quite ourselves’.
What a simply gorgeous blog Carmel! I can feel your deep care, appreciation and joy flowing through your words. A timely reminder for me too. Not only about commitment and consistency but about being honest when someone asks you how you are feeling. Being honest can sometimes be the hardest first step! Thank you for sharing your journey.
Beautiful blog Carmel. It serves to remind us all of the importance of rhythm and self care – the building blocks for a truly joyful life.
The powerfulness of the simple self care ways as you have listed Carmel are so supportive to everyday living. I agree with you that commitment and consistency are key.
I can really relate to this Carmel, ‘The true me is joyful, playful and fun to be around. The person speaking at work that day was an old me; one who wallowed in self-pity and blamed everyone except herself for what was wrong in her life’, I noticed last night talking to my partner that I can choose to go into moaning and blaming others and that this left us both feeling pretty rubbish, when actually I had felt joyful and playful in my day and i didn’t express this to him at the end of the day, instead I chose to focus on some minor issues and blow these out of proportion.
When you talk about rhythms and its affect on how we are in our day it reminds me of a child or baby – they have a set rhythm of a bed time, with a bath and wind down perhaps with a story or something. They have a morning routine too, and maybe a nap in the day to support them – its a natural part of their development which without they will get tired, grumpy and won’t learn necessary things like having a schedule, going to bed on time etc. And yet as we get old we get left to chose our own rhythms, and often we simply don’t. Either we are up till late at night working, surfing the web or crashed out in front of the sofa, and no where in the way we get up or go about the day is there a moment that is supportive, like a nap, stretching, cooking a healthy meal etc. But if as children we where worth the time and effort of being taken care of, can we not apply the same care to ourselves? It can be a tricky thing to do, but as presented by Carmel, it has amazing results.
” I’d given more importance to all the things I felt I had to do instead of being aware of my body and nurturing the real me.” A beautiful sharing, thankyou Carmel. A true rhythm is so supportive.
Consistency and appreciation are what stand out for me here – I know I don’t allow it enough in my day-to day life. Which actually allows any and every moment to be amazing.
Thank you Carmel – this is so lovely to read and to bring into my day – just simply starting from appreciation and not all the other ‘stuff going on’ If I stop and connect to that – it makes everything very simple.
‘In the busyness of daily life, we matter’ – a brilliant nugget – thank you, Jane.
Simply, accessibly, humbly and playfully put, thank you, Carmel. Self care is not only essential but also part of all of our responsibility when it comes to being a member of humanity – supporting ourselves endlessly to serve others and the big picture.
Carmel, I too, really suffer when I fall out of my routine, and this usually happens when I fail to be consistent with those very things that support me the most. Thanks for the reminder to stay true to myself.
I often see people on public transport on monday mornings looking more tired than they did on friday. I’ve found myself feeling similar. This blog is a great reminder that under the crankiness and exhaustion, there is a true me that can be lived, if chosen to.
‘Why? How have I allowed myself to be less than who I truly am?’ I love the question you ask here Carmel and it’s timely for me to be reading this as I’m just discovering how when I get to this point or ‘Monday morning feeling’ as you put it, it’s my responsibility and choice to look back at what has contributed to this rather than identifying with what I’m feeling and staying in it (as some form of comfort for the misery I’ve chosen) or letting myself to fall further down into it. For years I’ve allowed this to be my normal and for it to dominate me and it’s kept me small but now with a little more understanding, I know I can choose another way and give myself a helping hand out of the little hole I’ve made and pull myself back up into the light that I know I am. It’s a work in progress but with loving will power and a steady rhythm to support me I now know where I’d prefer to be.
This one would serve greatly on the fridge door as a loving reminder – Have I “given more importance to all the things I felt I had to do instead of being aware of my body and nurturing the real me”?
When I am not presence with me, the quality I bring to everything is affected. I am with you; commitment to loving ways of being with ourselves and consistency with this brings a foundational quality that becomes our rhythm. Now that feels joyful, thank you Carmel.
Awesome blog Carmel, so often we just shrug off the feeling you describe and write the day off as a ‘bad day’. Life has its many ups and downs because no one is perfect, but being able to recognise the down isn’t you and take steps to change it, is what makes the ups and downs less like a roller coaster and more like a road with a few dips or pot holes. It is amazing what consistency can do – and I know its something I avoid because of how supportive it can be – a day goes so much more smoothy if I have woken up and gotten ready without rushing and made time for me.
It’s great how our environment can reflect back to us what’s going on with how we might be feeling. I know that when I’m feeling I’ve got caught up in the things I’m doing, or I’ve let the details go and I don’t feel me, then tidying my desk or the kitchen work wonders — as does walking into a room that I know has order. Just standing in it and enjoying the order and the position and layout of the furniture and position of the pictures etc. settles me and I feel me again. Thank you Carmel for raising this, it’s lovely as you say, to appreciate.
Wow Rosanna, with your words I feel the love & power in order and attention to detail. Noteworthy!
I love what you share here Rosanna, a good declutter and tidy up creates the order and organisation we so crave and as we let go of what we don’t want or need, we lighten up quite literally.
Very simple and down to earth Carmel, its a great bit of simple wisdom, and I enjoyed your honesty sharing how you were feeling with your colleagues. That was the key to allowing you to go a bit deeper.
Beautiful Jane, “and amongst the busyness of daily living we matter.” Indeed we do.
Thank you Carmel, you have written this in a beautiful way – life is very simple living it joyfully and playfully. When I am not that playful I know that I have to stopp and feel what is going on and what I have allowed to not be myself.
A beautiful blog Carmel and so empowering. It’s an area I can deepen more for myself too. Thank you for your inspiration. How we feel is the end result of what choices we make in how we approach life and how we take care of ourselves and support ourselves. The more loving choices I make and the more I adhere to the natural rhythm, the more every day becomes the same day, as I have got me in it.
I love this Carmel and can relate – and agree. Consistency and commitment is an enormous support in terms of how I am able to maintain my equilibrium and attend to all that needs to be attended to. It’s great you were honest in your response to your colleagues too – it was that honesty that allowed them to remind you that the ‘not great’ you, was not the real you. Wonderful stuff.
So true Carmel. Just like the Sunday night feeling and the Friday afternoon feeling and the Wednesday ‘hump day’ feeling… which are all signs of not being truly ourselves. Any time we are in anticipation of where we want to be or dread of where we don’t want to be, is a sure sign that we are not in our joy and have not been committing to that non-selfish, self-loving solid foundation of support for ourselves, that enables us to be a support for others.
“Any time we are in anticipation of where we want to be or dread where we don’t want to be……”. This is so true diannetrussel – if this is what I am feeling about a particular day then I have not been consciously present enough. It is a great barometer for me.
Actually I feel that many people spend almost all their time in anticipation of being somewhere else. We used to joke about the working week.
‘Monday-itis’ feeling awful after the weekend and having to come back to work.
Tuesday getting over Monday and realizing we had to knuckle down and do some work. Wednesday was ‘Hump Day’ – the hump of the week (with the doldrums) equally far away from last weekend’s good memories and next weekend’s anticipated pleasures.
Thursday was slacking off after Hump Day and yet miserable because there was still another work day before the weekend.
Then Friday was a write-off at the end of the week with everyone not focussing, restless, ‘brain-dead’ and distracted about the coming weekend….
Most of the crew would go get ‘plastered’ on Friday night, continue it on Saturday, spend Sunday recovering, and dread going to work again on Monday with exhaustion and hang-overs. And it was all considered to be normal. What a travesty of life! It’s so good to have come back to ourselves and imbue every moment and every activity with all our presence and joy.
Thanks for sharing Carmel, commitment and consistency is the way to go and as you have shown, inspires others.
Hello Carmel, “COMMITMENT and CONSISTENCY” rings very true and everything I do. They are 2 great words to use in my everyday life. I love how reading a blog like this is exactly what you need to hear or see in your life at the time. This morning this was exactly what I needed to read thank you Carmel.
“I’d given more importance to all the things I felt I had to do instead of being aware of my body and nurturing the real me.” Such wise and inspiring words to read at the beginning of another day. After the day I had at work yesterday you have gently reminded me that every moment offers me the opportunity to stop, re-connect to me and to do things differently, but to ensure that everything I do, I am doing it with me.
‘I’d given more importance to all the things I felt I had to do instead of being aware of my body and nurturing the real me.’ Reading your blog again today this sentence really stood out, as I realised how often I still override my body to get things done and that when I do this not only does my body suffer but the quality of everything I am doing also suffers and I lose that simple joy of being with the task at hand.
Hi Jane176, I agree with what you say about overriding ones body body to get things done. I can get so much into the doing, but not then including the nurturing things that help my body do what is required. A big reminder call. It is amazing when I give proper priority to the things that support me, the things are really need to be done fit into the day beautifully.
If I do not take regular steps to look after myself, give myself time to wind down before bed, rest well and eat well my ability to care for others is impacted enormously, the knock on effect is abundantly clear as I get tired, my mood deteriorates and I slip into old habits of rushing and racing. Self care is definitely not selfish.
So true Fiona, all of our choices accumulate and build the foundations of our next choice just like the knock on effect you speak of, for if we do not care for ourselves and get quality rest and eat well, the quality of everything we do deteriorates.
If I do not take regular steps to look after myself and rest well then the impact this has on my ability to care for others is huge. I am far less patient, I start to rush (more than usual) and by the end of the day I feel exhausted rather than naturally tired.
I love it Carmel – exposing that the infamous ‘Monday morning feeling’ might actually be down to our choices and the way we live. Commitment and consistency are two things I am working on at the moment too; I find that my rhythm can be pretty good throughout the week, but sometimes at weekends I become lazy, thus resulting in a sluggish, tired start to the week come Monday.
Thank you Carmel, there is so much in this blog I can relate to. For me building a rhythm is a work in progress and your blog is very supportive right now: “These are all things I am doing, but not every day on a regular basis. The words that come to mind are COMMITMENT and CONSISTENCY – I need to commit to ME, the True Me and be consistent in these little self-loving ways so that I create a solid foundation of support for myself.” Love it.
I so needed to read your words today Carmel. It is very important for me to have steady consistent self-loving rhythm in my life too. It always surprises me when i slip out of honouring myself and my rhythm as I have noticed today. The decline occurs slowly almost without warning so consistency really is the key, and that means nurturing and developing our rhythm in every moment.
Thank you Carmel for sharing your journey. The only way to move forward in life is through commitment and consistency, I would totally agree. It is not always easy, I can make excuses for myself but in truth it is my responsibility. I have made quite a few changes but there are many more areas I need to work on and the more I become self nurturing and loving to all, I know I’ll find my life more joyful too.
Your blog is very inspiring Carmel, especially where you share about how you backtracked to discover the cause of what had taken you away from the real you. And from there you were able to see that more commitment and consistency to your daily rhythms, were necessary. This is a great reminder for me to trace the root cause, when I allow things to take me away from the true me.
That’s great Carmel, that you can catch yourself not being yourself when you find yourself wallowing in what is not your natural self. Love it!
The words Appreciation, Commitment and Consistency stay with me after reading this blog. Deep appreciation for noticing what is going on and committing to self care. Commitment to the small steps like cleaning the dishes after a meal and bring a consistency in that. I can soooo relate to this. It is tempting to get sloppy. And in that sloppiness the old patterns kick in. So, back to appreciation for stopping the old patterns, start again with little changes in the day and see… we will start to love again the Monday.
Beautiful Carmel what a great reminder of the absolute importance of consistency and commitment in my daily rhythm’s and self care, and the enormous support they are to me too. It is when letting these slip that life can return to an overwhelm that really does not work and that familiar old way of being. Simple changes really do make so much difference with living more lovingly consistently. An inspiring read, thank you.
We’ve defintely all had that feeling where you just don’t want to get out of bed and nothing feels right – I know I have! I love how you have presented this is not our normal way of being, and it can always be changed with a sense of rhythm and commitment to self care. I know when I put getting things done before myself and my body I can feel terrible! It feels a bit like a matter of self worth, and confirming I’m worth that love and care in everything I do.
COMMTTMENT and CONSISTENCY, these words are really beginning to sink in for me too Carmel, for without them I would be floundering on the periphery of life, choosing not to engage with others or take the true me out into the world. With my new found commitment and consistency, I am expanding daily into the appreciation of me and what I can bring to the world, not limiting myself in falling by the wayside and giving up. It is so simple, little by little, and with daily choices to commit to ME, the potential is boundless, and that goes for everyone too. Big thank you for sharing.
Me too Sandrahenden, and I love that phrase – ‘floundering on the periphery of life’, it perfectly describes the clumsy and clueless state many of us would be in without commitment and consistency in our lives.
I’m learning that as well Susie, committing to me, to life and all the people around me and it shows me that I have lived a lot from how I think things should be like instead of being the irresistable man I am. The latter I’m starting to bring back more and more and it sure is rewarding.
A great blog Carmel thank you. I can relate very much as I can always trace my steps back to a fluctuating rhythm when things aren’t running so smoothly and my vitality has dropped etc. as you say the key is consistency and committing to deeply nurturing ourselves daily. This quality of care and connection to self then ripples out into everything we do. I work in progress and a beautiful daily learning
Oh, I loved reading our blog Carmel! It’s like a daily guide to be read everyday as a reminder on commitment and consistency. To me I can feel this still lacks – inspired to let it grow – thank you 🙂
Oh I agree Christina, a lovely daily reminder to look at consistency of self care and how the lack of it plays out.
I love the playfulness of your expression Carmel in your discovery of the power of consistency and how this supports us in our day. A great blog that is super inspiring, thank you.
Hi Carmel, what a great, simple, honest blog. It’s so easy to blame everyone and everything else when things are not like we want them to be, – instead of taking full responsibility ourselves. Thanks for the reminder to look back and be aware of preceding incidences and to stay committed and consistent in everyday life. Rhythm is key.
I agree, we so often don’t consider the events leading up to a day when we don’t feel great or things aren’t going our way, but sometimes it can help make sense of whats going on so you can deal with it.
I am still experimenting to bring consistency in self loving choices and the commitment to stay honest with this in adjusting myself to what is needed or the body needs which is different every day. This is fun.
Camel great words of wisdom you share! Commitment and consistency are the remedy to any Monday morning feelings.
Also a great reminder to not give more importance to the things we think we need to do instead of being aware of how our bodies are and the nurturing that is needed.
I really enjoyed reading your blog again Carmel – still much to ponder on – and several little ah ha moments, and as I have experienced this morning so important to be aware of being present in what we are thus engaged in at that moment – in every moment.
This is great Carmel. Commitment and Consistency when mixed with Love sure are the ingredients for a supportive foundation. Rhythms thrive on this equation as I’m finding out myself so very timely, thank you for sharing.
I agree Shelly. Commitment and Consistency ring bells for me and mixed with love sounds the perfect combination for a supportive foundation. Great blog Carmel, very inspiring and a perfect reminder, thank you.
Such wonderful honesty Carmel. I really resonate with the myth that if I take care of the mystical the practical will take care of itself. In reality, it’s my care and commitment to the practical elements in my life, that leaves room for the appreciation and deeper relationship with the mystical.
Thanks Carmel. I am often amazed at how great I feel when I take even a 10 minute nap if I’m feeling tired. That heavy ‘down’ feeling disappears, and I remember that no matter what I think I ‘need’ to do, there is no point if I haven’t taken care of myself. These moments are reminders for me to look back at where that consistency and commitment have slipped – as you so gorgeously share in your experience.
Every single choice counts in our days – and I love that joyful is my normal, and these little moments where I’m not feeling that joy are a warning to stop and reassess. Thank you.
‘Joyful is my normal’ – super cool and as it should be – making what for now, for most of humanity, is extraordinary into your ordinary – thank you, Kylie.
‘There is no point if I haven’t taken care of myself’. I like this Kylie, it’s so true. What a beautiful way of approaching life. If looked at in this way, self care and adhering to our natural rhythm must always be the foundation from which we ‘do’.
What a pleasure it is to read your blog Carmel. Your honesty and simplicity in knowing what is needed in your life make sense. I can certainly relate to the consistency and commitment elements of a self loving rhythm and feel the dire need for this in my own way. Not only for my benefit, but for everyone’s… as living any less than who I truly am is selling everyone else short too!
I love this sentence and it speaks volumes of truth to me . . . ‘I need a sense of rhythm in my life, a regular commitment to self-care that serves as my foundation and supports me throughout my day, no matter what I do or what hours I work.’
Yes well said Kristy, it is draining to leave messes, and it feels incomplete. It doesn’t support us to feel ready and prepared for the day.
It goes to show that being honest about how we are feeling instead of putting up a front or brushing it off can do us a lot of good – as your friends could then see ‘That’s not like you’ which actually made you stop and look deeper. We then have an opportunity to see what’s really going on..
What an awesome article Carmel. You introduce what it is, what it means and looks like to ‘Self Care’. …. “I’d given more importance to all the things I felt I had to do instead of being aware of my body and nurturing the real me…” In your example, you show that self care is very practical, starting with the obvious, tidying of the kitchen, but the key is you are doing it for you, with a presence and in regard of yourself, not as a job to tick off the list of things to do. So when you come back into the kitchen, you are met with that same regard, and presence of you, feeding you back. In this way, you are constantly being recharged, like a rechargeable battery, not draining and becoming depleted as you work. What an awesome sharing Carmel, thank you
” I need to commit to ME, the True Me and be consistent in these little self-loving ways so that I create a solid foundation of support for myself.” And to commit with consistency. This is always a great reminder. Thank you.
I’ve always known there was more to the ‘Monday morning feeling’ and you have got it Carmel – it’s not even that it’s Monday, it’s how your living and the lack of commitment to work and life that provides you with the Monday morning feeling. I now don’t experience this feeling like I use to (although I use to have it everyday of the week day) Now I am so dedicated and committed to my work I love being there and I will work long hours and even longer hours if I haven’t finished everything – just because I love it. It’s commitment and dedication and then organising myself into a rhythm that works for me which is always a work in progress.
Your comment Ariel reminds me of how I approached work, with a lack of commitment and dread. The Monday morning feeling was far from reserved for Monday mornings, it was for every morning except Fridays perhaps. Now my work is something that is a part of my life that feels integral to everything else rather than something separate that I dread.
Great reminder Carmel, that our daily rhythm and self nurturing is such a gift to ourselves and without it, the harmony and Joy can quickly turn to exhaustion, disregard and looking outside of ourselves for relief.
I especially love the part where you say the response at work was not your usual self. Not your TRUE self and you had gone into an old pattern. This rings true for me and has brought me an awareness around this pattern in myself that I allow myself to go Into in certain situations. Where I play small and blame other situations for how I am feeling in order to gain attention. I can choose! Play it small or get myself out of the way and play it big!
Thanks Carmel, I am feeling the same necessity for myself – the need to be consistent, not oscillating in and out all the time. I have also found it is about all the small decisions that support my rhythm and foundation. Also, the importance of be fully expressed everywhere, all the time, which is exposing where I don’t express, ouch!
Carmel it is amazing how keeping things tidy and organised and looking after the self can create a sense of balance and the body does not go into exhaustion. Tidy environment creates space in the day and more gets done, this is my experience.
Thank you for sharing this Carmel. I often get caught up in the doing rather than connecting first. When I connect to myself first I bring my presence and being to all that I do – the difference in quality and how I feel when I am being rather than doing is amazing.
“Appreciating and putting me first helps me to be strong enough to support others. It’s not selfish, it is essential self-care.” – I too have found that looking after myself, being more consistent with it, has helped me to in turn do more and in a much better quality.
A great comment to pick out Fiona. Essential self care is very key to making everyday run smoothly. The more one commits to creating a steady nurturing rhythm the easier it is to start the day full of energy and greet the world with an open heart. It is certainly true for me too.
This is beautifully timely for me Carmel because I have not been feeling well and have ‘lost confidence in my ability to do anything well’ and backtracking have realised that my commitment and consistency in doing what I need to that supports me has been lacking. Instead of beating myself up as I would have in the past I have lovingly looked at how I can commit to a new rhythm that will support me. Thank you for the inspiration.
I love this blog Carmel because you have shared with us the very practical tools we need to bring a certain quality into our day. Consistency and commitment. I love it and it works ✨
Hey Carmel 🙂 that is so much from life. Simple and honest – I even had to laugh, recognising myself: I’m that too! Consistency is the key word to me. Love your blog!
A real moment of ‘oh, my goodness I do that too’! Thank you Carmel for reminding me that having a ‘Monday Morning Feeling’ is a choice. When I choose what is true and self loving for me then the week flows and I love being me. I have a habit of trying to squeeze too many things into the day and it has a tendency to rebound on me. Today I have realised that my arrogant feeling that I can control time is taking me further and further away from being the ‘true and self loving’ person I know I can be, and love being.
Me too Susan – I sometimes arrogantly feel like I can control time, and try squeezing much too many things into a small space of an hour or so. When I leave things to the last minute, the quality of how I do the task is never anywhere near the quality I know I can provide.
Thank you for your sharing Carmel. I very much relate to your words “I’d given more importance to all the things I felt I had to do instead of being aware of my body and nurturing the real me.” I also can do this with putting time and money above myself and well-being. I’m learning the possibility of the beauty and loving choice of letting that go by becoming aware and stop allowing it.
I can totally relate to that key being consistency Carmel, thank you for sharing such a simple example of something that can so easily be a yo-yo in everyday life.. that experience of me, to not me, to me again .. to not. It’s quite draining and there is no real need for it, except for me to realise that it is a way that I use to delay my otherwise super steady nature into an inconsistent way that doesn’t support me and this makes no sense.
It is awesome how you have taken responsibility for how you felt in that moment Carmel and traced back where this ‘not feeling yourself’ came from. This simple non-judgemental approach feels like the fertile ground from which self love grows.
Ah yes – I know this space. It starts with a gradual disconnection to myself so subtle it can escape unnoticed, especially as I become less and less present. Then space seems to shrink and time seems to speed up and before I know it, I am in a constant state of overwhelm! I agree with you Carmel – consistency and commitment is key to building a rhythm that becomes the glue that holds the whole show together. Awareness of this dolloped with an abundance of self love means that these blow-outs are happening less and less these days.
I have always loved a rhythm in my day but have been easily taken out of it by not committing to my needs and putting others first when not necessary. This is getting more consistent lately and I feel an appreciation and acceptance growing for me from it. A great reminder thank you Carmel.
Daily head liners for us all …. Commitment and consistency sounds like a plan
If only the Boomtown Rats had known about this Carmel. Yes Monday-itis can be utterly gotten over, you are living proof.
The Bangles would have benefited from this awesome blog also, going on their ‘Manic Monday’ hit.
Hilarious. Though I think the Bangles were closer to the truth when they ‘Walked Like an Egyptian’.
A great realisation that the Monday morning feeling has got very little to do with the hours, the boss and the job at hand, but all to do with our rhythm and how well we look after ourselves and our wellbeing.
Another myth busted. We no longer have to live under the accepted belief of ‘that monday morning feeling’. If we accept the responsibility and the fact that our choices are ours we are free to build a rhythm that sees monday morning, as any other, as the beginning of another day dripping with opportunities. Thank you, Carmel and Gabriele.
I so agree Carmel – my rhythm and how I take care of myself and my surroundings plays such an important part in feeding me back the love that I am. And of course it is not about being mechanical in the process of doing these things, but rather, allowing myself simply to enjoy doing it because I know it supports me back. Such a beautiful way of being that cares for self and all others, as inspired by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. And I say ‘inspired’, because deep within it lies for all of us, and so it is just about it being re-awakened. What a blessing!
It’s the tripple C’s,Commitment, Consistency and Carmel = loads of joy and playfulness.
Gorgeous comment Vicky and so true.
Thank you Carmel, I agree our divine rhythm is definitely felt and built on consistency. Our commitment to our loving rhythm allows us to feel the way forward by honouring the inspirations of Serge Benhayon!
That Monday morning feeling is so dreaded and experienced by many. It can be a cycle of elation and misery as the week turns into the weekend and then Monday morning appears again. How refreshing and welcome to be able to live a consistent quality of life that enables us to step off this roller coaster and experience every day as being the same opportunity for making loving choices that lead to feeling joyful.
So true Rebecca and I know now that many of my old weekend behaviours would exasperate the Monday morning feeling too. By learning to nurture myself and create a steady rhythm applied to everyday of the week the highs and lows have disappeared and there has appeared instead a gentle steadiness that I have slowly come to know it Joy. Gone are the dramas, highs and lows that somehow I thought made my life interesting. Building a steady quality has and is bringing much greater rewards, rewards that are truly worth maintaining as the real health and well-being that arises from this way of living are far more important than the late nights and ‘little’ indulgences I used as ‘treats’ to lift my week, there is simply no need for them in my life any more.
How very simple everything we do has a momentum and a visible result. Live out of your natural way and yes the “off “days happen. Its great to at least clock this so you then have an opportunity to see it and catch yourself before it gets too far down the track.
Something that keeps coming up in my life is treating everything as equal. Every part of my life supports the rest of my life and they need to be in balance. When I skimp on cleaning, exercising or time to care for my body, everything else becomes less in quality (even though I may be doing more of it!)
A cut corner anywhere, a moment of disregard and slip into ‘who cares’ or ‘I give up’ impacts everything else. Well said, Fiona. I love this because it takes away the sliding scale of importance that I complicate life with. Everything is equal – simple.
Awesome blog Carmel and so true. It really does benefit me greatly when I commit to my daily routine on a regular basis. If I go off track I can see how it really affects me and I feel tired and cranky. This is a continuing work in progress and a great appreciation of self care through my own daily rhythm.
Honouring and committing 100%, defiantly a noble trait.
Thanks Carmel. Two words stood out for me – commitment and consistency, commitment and consistency, commitment and consistency…
Of course, life is more than that. It is about the quality of that consistency and commitment and being clear on what we are being consistently committed about.
For we can be committed to be many things in life, and none of them bring back to us a sense of who we truly are.
The only commitment I know that is worth committing to – first and foremost – is a commitment to knowing who we truly are within. For without that, it is difficult if not impossible to develop true commitment to the rest of life as we know it, at least in a way that is consistent, purposeful, everlasting, joyous, free of burden and struggle, and full of endless vitality.
Good work Carmel of highlighting the importance of keeping a regular routine and rhythm and also keeping your surroundings clean
Once again, the perfect blog at the perfect time. I too have been connecting to how seemingly small choices – like leaving a bag unpacked or not tidying my desk do actually place unnecessary strain on me and actually drain me. Taking the time to honour taking care of these things is something I’m realising is as important in my self care as choosing the best foods to eat or going to bed early. Thank you Carmel for this reflection!
Thank you Carmel for this reminder that it really is all the so called little things that make a huge difference and can no longer be ignored. I’m off to vacuum.
A very important point here, giving importance to all the things I am doing, beyond caring for myself. I get that taking care of myself does not necessary mean doing less, but refers to the onus of care I put on my posture, movement, and general activity throughout each day – not rushing, letting go of expecting to get everything done and finding a rhythm in the way I am with myself and what I am doing. It’s so funny that this is said over and over in so many ways in these blogs, yet truly, it is in the livingness of it, that it is pure gold.
Hi Carmel, thank you for your description of a common affliction in our society “Monday-itis” or even “everyday-itis”. The everyday-itis is so very common now days with more and more people experiencing depression.
What I love about this blog is it is extremely empowering for people as you show that this common “itis” affliction is predominantly self induced and as you share. . . You walked yourself into it through your lack of attention to detail and true loving care for yourself and you walked yourself out of it through committing to live true to yourself.
This blog gives a thorough dose of common sense, it is a shame that this is not an article that millions of people suffering from “Monday-itis” can read in their morning newspaper.
I love this comment, Rebecca, how we create disharmony in our lives by choosing to be in disregard and not look after ourselves, but can then walk back out of it simply by honouring our bodies and what feels true.
Thank you for the clarity, simplicity, and honesty that you have brought to this post Carmel. Even though you had a blip I can feel you are someone that is actually going well and already have a foundation of love and that was what allowed you to recognise you were off track and more so that it was not the real great you that had gone a little wayward. I love how you called yourself to responsibility rather than blame and then made it practical – I draw on those steps too and can relate to developing the next part of responsibility – commitment and consistency. Joyful to read – thanks again.
Thank you Carmel for sharing these essential keys. Today was one of these “poor me” days. These remind me that letting myself fall apart is never the way.
Thank you Carmel for this is gentle reminder that being true to ourselves is a work in progress, never an end position and requires as you say commitment and consistency in small daily self nurturing routines. Without this, it’s easy to slip away from self.
Your honesty in answering your colleague allowed the deeper consideration of what was really going on to come up. Everything is there to support us everyday, but it is up to us to be willing to take action whether by VOICING the truth or using activity by way of movement. It is so simple. Thank you Carmel for sharing your experience about what some people call Monday morning blues, it has clearly illustrated that it is the choices of yesterday that create the life we live today and tomorrow
I feel it is very loving and self supporting to clean my kithen after every meal, and to keep my bedroom tidy and free from clutter, and in general have an organised house, because it feels this then provides the space for me to be organised and the clarity to know what next needs my attention. And also, I am very aware of however I leave my house in the morning, that is exactly what I come back to….I like to walk into a clean kitchen as that is the first room in the house that greets me when I come home every day.
Hi Jacqui, I also enjoy keeping things tidy and for the reasons you mention above, as when I walk into the house its like I offer myself a hug by the way I have left it ready for my return and it greets me how I left it. On the odd day when it all gets out of sync and I leave without the organisation of my normal routine, I am not welcomed home but reminded of the rush i left in.
Beautiful Jacqui and Beverley, I too love a clean and tidy house and it is for me very important for my daily being and functioning. I feel easily what I call “polluted” energetically if I happen to stay in a place that is cluttered/untidy or unclean.
Commitment and consistency to building a cherishing relationship with oneself is what our whole day benefits from being saturated with. I have become aware of the importance of this. I used to see it as hard, even impossible to have this commitment to my relationship with myself throughout my day consistently. Now I find it hard not to be aware of how I am feeling. My days in the past were about function and results, not me. It is much easier to live my day in connection to me and the bonus is I function at a higher level with greater results, but this is a by-product of my choice to live my day with me.
A very beautiful reminder Carmel of the importance of our rhythm. I can get caught up in all I have to do and then lose my quality of self care, making it part of the doing and leaving me tired and anxious. Your blog reminds me that our rhythm is the basis of everything else in our day and that making this my first priority will change the quality of my entire day and everything in it.
Interesting point Caroline, that when we lose our rhythm for what ever reason, it can leave us tired and anxious. It is almost like without that solid support of having taken care of yourself in the time leading up to your present moment, the body has to work harder to assimilate life and respond to situation, making you more tired and putting the body on edge.
Such a great reminder of the power of commitment, consistency and rhythm and how, if we choose it, we have a constant reflection back of the love we have for ourselves.
It’s a lot simpler and empowering to open up to the possibility of the “constant reflection back of the love we have for ourselves”. As you say what Carmel has shared is a great reminder of the choices we make.
Carmel thanks again for reminding me of the importance of those two words COMMITMENT and CONSISTENCY. Without these our days can unravel into overwhelm and our bodies feel the brunt of this.
Once I thought that a great cure for curing Monday-itis was to cancel Mondays. But then we would have an influx of Tuesday-itis (which is frequently observed on days like today, the day after an Easter long weekend).
However it appears to be much more appropriate and sensible to take note of what you have presented Carmel…which could completely eliminate the ‘itis’ from any day.
I like this Rod, so very true. I had myself a giggle when reading your comment.
Rod I love it – I too would have liked to cancel Mondays and in some companies they even work 4 days a week in order to apparently have more happy staff. What I find after a bank holiday / long weekend is that the first day back people are not really with it. Not wanting to be back at work – some with self proclaimed chocolate hang overs and generally thinking it’s a pain it’s back to work. Given we spend far more time at work than anything else that’s kinda sad when you think about it. I am also sure that the Monday itis or Tuesday Itis is as Carmel shared more about how we’re living in all our life. It would be an interesting social experiment to see how much more fulfilling life would feel if commitment it full was how we lived. Perhaps we would naturally take care, appreciate and enjoy whatever we are doing and then the “itis” would be no longer. My experience so far shows this to be true.
It’s no coincidence that we had the long weekend break to prove your point so succinctly! And how amazing to know that we never have to feel this way about any day should we choose to truly care for ourselves.
I love it that you went there Rod – eliminate the symptom and hope that the cause would disappear, haha. Glad to see you came to your senses before our week ran out of days!
Love your humour here Rod. ‘Itis’ has been a very common human condition for as long as I can remember and something which I have experienced in the past on various occasions. However, since meeting Serge Benhayon and listening to his presentations, ‘itis’ has all but disappeared from my life, thanks to my now living in a more consistent rhythm and committing to self care and self love as my foundation. Thank you Carmel for your honesty in sharing, it is a great reminder and an inspiration to never abandon consistency and commitment to the ‘True Me’
Ha ha .. then it would be Wednesdaytitus or Thursdaytitus .. yes best to get a hold of this now before the whole week is a titus!
Thanks Rod for the reminder about Monday-itis, for some time I used it as a recovery day from the weekend and being self-employed I got away with it.
After learning the teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, Monday is a day I have never taken off in over 4 years and my commitment to “just get on with it” has paid off. I have a life that is deeply content because I no longer have that “giving up syndrome” going on. I replaced it with “commitment to life” and that for me means taking responsibility for all my choices and making choices that truly support me and my body.
Forget giving up, I now help others to NOT give up. Pretty cool work I say !
Thank you Carmel.
What a beautiful blog! A blog that every person should read and I am sure would learn from. We can all relate to having that feeling of ‘Monday-itis’ at sometime in our life and know how lagging it feels.
You share amazing support that we can offer ourselves by choosing to self care, self nurture, to listen to our bodies, to have rhythm and routine for ourselves in a consistent and committed way. I can totally vouch for all of this and I find that without consistency and commitment to myself in a loving way then I am not only living the Monday ‘Monday-itis’ but a week of ‘Monday-itis’. Who wants that?- Not me!
The first thing that struck me in this blog was how important the reflections other people provide for us are when you said, “This response from my colleagues helped me to realise that it wasn’t the true ‘me’ “. The people around us are a blessing we don’t always see. As you say the simple little things we do to support ourselves are so powerful, and to deeply appreciate our loving choices when we do them.
Beautiful observation Tim, Its gorgeous to feel how we all have the ability to enrich each others lives simply by being us and ‘being there’. Just as you have done for me with your words here.
That’s exactly what I thought, the people around us are great reflections, blessings and support .. if we allow them to be.
You have expressed so beautifully how commitment and consistency to rhythms of self care support us in our day. Thank you Carmel for the reminder!
Great post Carmel, and agree the consistency is the key so that it becomes part of us such that when it’s not there, it feels odd, or at-odds. Your words here so apt highlighting the very issue or belief so many have misconstruing self-love as being ‘selfish’: “Appreciating and putting me first helps me to be strong enough to support others. It’s not selfish, it is essential self-care”. Well said.
Carmel, yes commitment to self-care and consistency in that are very much hot topics for me too. I have recently found I’ve been making the things I do more important than me, rather than an equal commitment to both, so recently with this, I found I had to re-group as I could feel that without the self care and rhythm the quality is not there. And it’s so those little things that matter.
Lovely Monica, ‘I could feel that without the self care and rhythm the quality is not there. And it’s so those little things that matter.’ I agree if I try and do too much and don’t take care of myself and let go of the little things then the quality is not there, my day feels hard and not flowing.
I remember feeling down and out a couple of months back when I went to see a practitioner.I stated that I had only eaten a little sugar, stayed up late a few nights and watched a few TV shows… But what my practitioner pointed out was that all these ‘little’ non self-loving choices have the ability to add up to us not feeling great. I have found this to be true in my life.
This is a great blog about how important our rhythm is and how when we let it go, how much it can impact on how we feel. ‘COMMITMENT and CONSISTENCY’ Carmel these words are my words at the moment too. These have always been important but I have found that as I deepen my relationship with myself I find that I need to reassess what they have meant and what they now mean to me and how they can support me in a new rhythm.
It’s so easy to indulge in the negative feelings when they arise and let ourselves run with them instead of taking responsibility for what led us to feel negative in the first place. Great blog Carmel, thank you.
Exactly Rebecca instead of taking responsibility! Oh how we like to indulge! But it makes no sense as it only perpetrates the feeling of discord within us and once responsibility is taken I certainly feel much more alive and vital than when I am wallowing in self pity.
A timely reminder for me also, thank you Carmen. Sometimes it can seem like all is on the downhill from here. But as you say it can simply be a matter of cleaning and realigning the house and taking the time for personal care, is all that is needed to bring oneself out of the rut. Sometimes I can also feel down because I have not acted on deeper changes needed within that I have recognized but not fully acknowledged impact of the behaviors and renounced the tendencies. All that can take is time to sit with it and feel the truth of myself, what the behavior is hiding and allow my truth to be real. Thank you for writing about this, I am sure we all have moments like it.
Carmel it is enough for me not to follow my morning routine to be off course for the rest of the day. As the day unfolds my lack of commitment and consistency triggers the blame game in my head. Because it is more difficult to regain steadiness in my body after the wrong start I know that these two words are key to each new day.
Awesome to be reminded that everything in life is expression. Consistency and commitment in expressing ourselves in full–including the small details in daily life, all add up.
The honesty and appreciation to ourselves, as you have beautifully lived Carmel makes it simple.
I loved the simple honesty in this blog, Carmel. The love and care you hold for yourself and others is so clear. Thank you for your sharing, and the reminder of how much easier life is when we look after ourselves and keep our environment tidy. Yesterday I was impulsed to clear out my sewing box (its big) when I got up, and the rest of my day flowed beautifully.
Thank you for the timely reminder Carmel to commit to me and the quality of my rhythm. Beautiful blog and very inspiring
I agree, Carmel, that it is the simple things in life that make all the difference if we commit to doing them consistently. What a tremendous support this provides for us, and life really need not be more complicated – as they say, when we look after the pennies, the pounds take care of themselves.
Wonderful blog to start the day – it’s such a good reminder of how consistency in one day leads to an even greater sense of this in the next.
This is a really good point too Oliver, the fact that this carries over into our future days. It really becomes obvious then that this is the only way to be.
True Oliver. What stood out to me in Carmel’s words is how our quality of life is a consequence of our choices. When we make this quality love, it’s consistency builds and strengthens.
Oliver I completely agree. I am beginning to appreciate how, if I am consistent in loving me in what I do, like all the practical things, I am paving the way for greater nurturing of myself. Consistency is such a beautiful gift I can give myself.
“I’d given more importance to all the things I felt I had to do instead of being aware of my body and nurturing the real me.” I can so relate to this, Carmel – when I put all the things I have to do as more important than myself, I feel exhausted and miserable, because I miss the amazing me – we are so worth nurturing!
I am the same Carmin, “when I put all the things I have to do as more important than myself, I feel exhausted and miserable.” Taking time out to have some fun, nurture or exercise I feel the joy return and working on the things I have to do becomes easier and purposeful again.
I enjoyed reading your article Carmel – it felt ‘real’ – simply expressed and in a way that I could totally relate to. I also have found that after having been asked “are you okay?” comes a responsibility to be honest and without going into a drama or emotional reaction, to say it how it is – otherwise, apart from not being truth-full to the person asking the question, one is not being honest with themselves. Oftentimes I found that when a struggle of one sort or another was being experienced and it seemed like swimming in treacle, it was more loving and part of self-care to actually express truthfully the situation to help lift off and clear the debris of the disharmony.
I agree Roberta. It was totally real and relatable.
Carmel , when I also focus on all the things I have to do and forget about me, this is when I loose me, and then override it
with doing, then I have lost my rythum and things begin to slide. But now they will only slide for a short time because my body
Is telling me something is not right.
Awesome Carmel, thank you for sharing your experience and presenting ways that support you in your self-care. Commitment feels key in living a life of consistently loving choices. When I choose to take loving care of myself consistently life becomes simple, harmonious and full of joy.
This is also my experience and know when I am at my best it is because I am living in a way that is much more ordered and organised. I definitely find consistently going to bed at the same time, waking at the same time and focusing on how I prepare for bed and how I get ready in the mornings are all things that help me to feel confident during my day.
I too have found that if (or rather when) I’m feeling overwhelmed or down-in-the-dumps, one of the first signs around me is that my house is untidy. To me this says that I have made many choices over the preceding days or weeks that have been born out of laziness or a lack of commitment to that which I know supports me and the household. The result from this awareness is very good – I feel much calmer and ready to see what choice I now need to make, and can then work towards living differently so those yucky overwhelmed feelings don’t come up. Thank you for sharing your take on rhythm and consistency Carmel.
I agree Suzanne. What I find easiest of all is to strengthen my rhythms so that even if things are difficult for a few days that doesn’t creep too much into my environment. Once things get physically messy it is a lot more difficult to deal with it.
When I try to do too much, I can end up being unproductive and as a result feel overwhelmed by it all. The importance of establishing a consistent rhythm of self care, nurturing and honouring our selves on a daily basis is paramount to the energy we chose to live in.
As you, and many of the other commenters have expressed, the importance of consistency and a rhythm that sets the day is important. The support, stability and strength in these consistent rhythms provides the basis from which to go forth into the day.
Well said Carmel. I too am very thankful for the support of Serge Benhayon, Simone Benhayon, Sara Williams and many other Universal Medicine practitioners who have supported me over many years to see that I am worth taking care of, as is everyone. I too have found that simple things like tidying up as I go makes a huge difference to my energy levels, gentle exercise keeps me supple and fit and a gentle, steady rhythm to my day, my week supports me to work long hours and not get exhausted. Keep it simple, keep it steady and we can feel exceptional, rock the boat and we all end up feeling a bit rough.
I was meant to read this blog as I am having one of those Mondays (for the last few weeks) and this has confirmed for me the inconsistency of my rhythm. I know through experience that if I have a supportive rhythm in the mornings this allows the day to flow with very little hiccups. If I have a scattery morning and no routine then everything seems to go wrong which then increases my work load for the day. Through caring for myself in a loving way and appreciating everything about myself supports not only me but others I come into contact with throughout my day. Thank you Carmel for the reminder.
Thank you Carmel, the words that stand out in partnership are commitment to me and consistency. Such beautiful words that are building blocks to a flow of a rhythm that supports us to be in life in joy and confidence. You share the simplicity and how the little things in life like having a tidy bedroom so it can be a place of rest, can make all the difference.
So important Carmel, what you have revealed is that the consistency and commitment needed is for me, not what I need to do. If I honour myself it will naturally flow onto what I do and the resentment does not build. Thank you.
Thank you Carmel, you have reminded me why my life is getting so complicated lately. I have allowed a lack of consistency and commitment to creep in and I no longer have the foundation that supports me.
It’s really great to read how possible it is to move out of that miserable feeling by seeing all the choices leading up to that point. Thank you Carmel.
Carmel, I really felt the power of your message of the need for ‘… COMMITMENT and CONSISTENCY …’. This message is quite relevant for me at the moment as I am facing an extremely busy time at work and can feel the stress and anxiety creeping in. Thank you.
Commitment and consistency! You already had a foundation because you knew on your ‘off’ days that you were not truly being Carmel. I can totally relate to this too and how easy it is to slip back into habits or disregard. We have a rhythm to return to, and which is important to appreciate without judgement when we choose to dishonour it. Thank you Carmel.
I Love how you backtracked Carmel until you found why you were not your self on that Monday morning. It is all too easy to put it down to the work environment and brush it off without looking deeper into why you were not your normal cheerful self. I know if I stop keeping my room tidy it can slowly creep into other areas of my life. It starts with I will do it later, then oh it doesn’t matter, and then a gradual giving up.Commitment and consistency really do make a difference to how I live and from there I can build a true foundation and rhythm.
A great blog Carmel – I can very much relate to what you have shared here. Whenever I loose consistency and rhythm in my everyday living, I feel lost and disconnected and the autopilot takes over.
Thank you Carmel for this very inspiring blog, which shows so clearly how important commitment and consistency are. It is not the big things in life that are important, but the consistent commitment to every small detail in our daily life. The quality in which we care for the small details and thereby care for us will build the basis on which to lead a simple, joyful and harmonious life.
So true Camel, consistently committing to building a foundation that supports my body to ‘do’, in general, makes for that doing to be more effortless and full of quality, any day and every day.
I am very appreciative for the reminder Carmel, ‘commitment and consistency to Me, the True Me’ – with the focus on that which builds and supports the quality of foundation I need to be a able to bring all of who I am to each and every moment throughout my day and not just in the moments when I think I need to be ‘on’. I love the practical examples that you offer and I find that my foundation blocks require constant review and refinement as my relationship to me deepens and expands.
I also experience that monday morning feeling when I allow myself to be drawn into the outer affairs, the to-does, the things going on around me and in the world, then I loose connection with feeling myself, the one place and space in me that is always the same. Hence the self-love and self-care is in nurturing and cherishing the connection with myself, just as you describe by committing to the little practical things that are supportive and confirming. Interesting that most things in the world are not in support of self-connection therefore adding to the monday morning feeling when we give in to them. Here consistency to care for and be with ourselves comes into play, otherwise we are easily carried away by life.
Hi Carmel, it is so easy to “slip” out of our rhythms and once that happens – wham we get hit! This is certainly my experience. I also can get the Monday morning thing and often wonder if it is because I have forgotten to see my work as just part of my rhythm and have instead gone to work more in my “doing” rather than my “being” which both drains me and loads work with an expectation to support me which it cannot do if I am not truly with me.
This is a great sharing Carmel! I particularly like how the people around you reflected back to you that this is not the real you. And that you asked yourself the question, Why am I not the real me? instead of phrasing it: What is wrong with me? So instead of putting yourself down you took responsibility and changed things around to support yourself to be the real you.
This ‘Monday morning’ feeling is so familiar to me from the past. And in earlier years, before I met Serge Benhayon, this was the only thing I knew. It was ‘everybody’s experience. That’s why it is difficult to hold a consistency with a self-loving rhythm and I appreciate very very much your commitment, Carmel.
Carmel, love your blog, so much here refers to me also. You have inspired me to get up and do the washing up, in a loving, gentle way, and not make it about doing another chore. It makes such a difference to lovingly honour ourselves by keeping our surroundings tidy and clean without taking ourselves out of our rhythm doesn’t it.
The more we are able to see and admit this is not who I am, the more we naturally live ourselves. Commitment and consistency are my words as well Carmel, as you say, they build the true foundation of supporting to live the joyful you.
Thank you for this Carmel. A great reminder that consistency is key. On those days where I take meticulous care with my environment and keep everything in its place I manage to create more space for me in my body. As a result there is more space in my day and there is no rush, or tension. This truly supports me in being more of me without the overwhelm of everything there is to do in a day.
It is amazing how we often tend to overlook how everything, even the small things we do, can all be a part of a way of life that is committed to consistently reflect back to us the beauty, fun and light-ness we truly are.
I love this blog, it carries so much joy, simplicity and love in it. It just shows there is no such thing as the monday morning feeling or even the ‘thank god it’s friday’ feeling, we can feel great and vital every day, if we make choices that support us every day.
Absolutely Carmel, without the foundation there is nothing to build from! I too have just re-looked at where I was placing my importance and bringing it back to the basics, exercise everyday lovingly – what a difference just that makes. So important. And always I am left scratching my head as to why I keep letting me slip off the page and to the bottom of the to do list.
Go back in time a few years and I would have put rhythm and consistency in the same box as boring and nerd alert but now without them I’m up the proverbial creek without a paddle. Letting the little things slip creates a snow ball effect and things can get completly out of control.
Understanding rhythm, consistency and commitment has certainly stopped my life from being a roller-coaster. Also understanding how supportive it is to live in this way, almost makes doing those jobs a pleasure because I can connect to how they create a solid foundation rather than another monotonous task that needs to be done.
Absolutely brilliant Carmel – I can relate to every word. Thank you for bringing some insight into that Monday morning feeling, which we can so easily brush off as the norm.
I love the start of your blog Carmel, with the simple conclusion: hey this person, that is saying I am not ok, I feel grumpy etc, is not me. And from there you trace back where you lost yourself and take responsibility for it. And yes: commitment and especially consistency with rhythm build the foundation for us to be ourselves.
Yes Carmel, it is great when we realise that all we need to do is change the rhythm in which we walk as we can either walk in the feeling of being down in the dumps or as the joyful, playful person we truly are. The choice to change this rhythm is a very self loving choice indeed. One that we need to commit to and be consistently aware of. . . as you have to clearly pointed out here.
I love how you point out that taking care of ourselves is not selfish. Women, in particular tend to put the needs of others, especially family, ahead of their own and in the process end up very exhausted. We need to appreciate that the nurturing of a daily rhthym will not only allow us to care for ourselves, but others also.
Thank you Carmel for reveling the simple steps to take in the practical ways of building a solid foundation that truly supports a way of being that can be taken to the world everyday with love, joy and expression of truth.
Carmel I love how you write about how important consistency and commitment are and how we bring this in with how we live in pratice. I know when things get messy on the outside its because they are more than messy in the inside! Cleaning and tidying up support me to come back to me. Wonderful reminder to keep things simple and not try to do too much!
The Monday morning feeling is a good one to come out of. I am just realising that life is not about getting as much sitting around time in as possible. It is about being out in the world, working, bringing that lovely me to everything I do, every person I meet. The rhythm of self care you talk about sets this up beautifully, when I have had enough sleep, eaten foods that suit my body, am recognising how I feel and am acting on it I am so capable of loving every second of my day and my work.
Yes, those ‘have to do’s are a killer’ and quickly eradicate my sense of ease, wellbeing and spaciousness, they should be banished for good.
I love how you went “that’s NOT the true me” and went back to look at how this had come about. Thank you for showing how using such simple tools as commitment and consistency are such an amazing support for us to remain our TRUE selves 🙂
Your blog is so honest Carmel, and exposes many beliefs people have about themselves and living. I know I used to think being committed and consistent meant about something outside me, a job, an activity, a relationship, whereas I now realise it is to oneself, and from there comes the commitment and consistency in the the whole of our lives.
Unfortunately many people live with the Monday morning feeling every day, in fact it is worn as a badge of honour at work. Surely everyone feels bad? That is part of a normal working life isn’t it? I love how simply this blog offers another way. Get some consistency in caring for yourself, some order at home, and watch what happen… Before you know it joy is around the corner!
Imagine if we all told each other when we were not at the top of our game – how much more supportive of each other we might turn out to be …?
Thank you for reminding me of the simple truth that consistency and commitment to the way I live prepares me for whatever is in front of me.
Great to read your sharing Carmel, I loved how the reflections from your colleagues helped you understand why you were feeling the way you did. I recognise that self pity as I used to go into it a lot more than I do now. I find it can be easy to let things slide if we don’t keep on top of things. That rhythm you mention is so important to feeling energised and vital and I also find a great support in cleaning and tidying my home.
Clean and organised home is very important to me, too. Thank you Carmel for writing this.
Gorgeous blog Carmel, I relate to it so much! Whenever life is feeling ‘hard’ I know it’s because I’m out of my normal routines and rhythm and not doing what I need to nurture me. When I bring myself back to the routines that support me as my foundation, everything begins to flow again and time and space opens up.
Thank you Carmel, what’s so great is that those little things to do in self care done consistently can bring such a support as you say to each day. I am still working with this but have found it has brought much change to my life and how I am in it.
I can really relate to your blog Carmel and it was only a few days ago that I had a revelation of realizing that all the things that where coming up where not me and could be let go off. Ahhhh this felt so good but it also felt hard, because I could feel their was a part of me that wanted to stay in this Monday morning feeling. So I decided that if I wanted to truly shake this I needed to give my room a BIG clean up, a 2 full bags off rubbish clean up. As soon as I stepped back, looked at my room and felt how gorgeous, amazing and light it felt I realized that so too did my body and the Monday morning feeling had completely disappeared.
Thank you Carmel, you write with such beautiful simplicity and honesty that it is a true joy to read.
Great article and commitment and consistency would have to be two of my favourite words.
A great lesson in responsibility thanks Carmel. It just shows that when we do have a time when we feel out of ourselves and not quite as joyfull and energetic as we know ourselves to be, than it can be a simple process of admitting we dont feel right, truthfully asessing what it is and then taking the necessary steps to self-nurture and honour so we dont judge ourselves for being ‘out’ and then before we know it we are back to feeling ourselves again.
This blog exposes that self care is something very important to support us in our daily lives, and as I experience, the time when I make something outside of me more important than me, I can get into a downward spiral of not caring for myself and stop having the supporting rhythm I know.
Hi Carmel, I love the simplicity, honesty and practicality of your blog.
I love how you acknowledged where you were with your rhythm Carmen, without beating yourself up. Just a gentle reminder that if we come back to self-nurturing and give attention to our natural rhythm, we can get ourselves back on track. It feels so yuk when we have the off days of not being us, but we have the most amazing support and many tools to rely on to bring ourselves back to love. Thank you for this honest sharing – I could relate!
Thank you Carmel. I always find your blogs so down to Earth and practical and very easy to relate to, this one is no exception. Having felt my own lack of commitment and consistency i have put myself on a programme. Clearing strenghthens my commitment and a conscious rhythmn supports my consistency. I have employed a friend to come for a couple of hours every week to help me sort out my office and paperwork – this feels amazing and another to clear out my storage sheds where there are remnants of belongings that have as yet not sold or been given away. I am spending more quality time with myself in the evening and early mornings too and I already feel what a difference it is bringing to my every day and how I feel about myself and others.
What you share feels very familiar Carmel and when I get caught up in all the things I ‘think’ I have to do, my nurturing moments are the ones that get neglected yet when I attend to lovingly making time, for myself and my home and my workspace, flow magically happens and space opens up for more to be attended to naturally.
Simple things like whether I put my keys away in their designated place or leave my desk ordered and clear ready for the next time I work at it tell me how far I am from myself or how connected. Everything around me reflects back how I have been and also what I am coming back to.
I’d like to add another word to those beautiful words consistency and commitment and that word is celebration because when everything is in flow and harmony from the commitment and consistency we have honoured ourselves with, in the appreciation of that, celebration is naturally there.
I love your blog, Carmel, I really relate to what you say. What I can notice too, is once I lose that commitment and consistency in one area, I lose it in other areas too, and I can feel the cumulative effect much quicker these days. It’s always going to be ‘work in progress’ but that’s ok.
The benefits of being consistent in self-care are huge and it continues to deepen the more I commit to it, while not perfect – as the trying to get things perfect has only landed me in hot water – what I have learnt is that when I do drop the ball it stands out more against the backdrop of what I am doing consistently everyday. Thank You Carmel for the reminder of how staying consistent is vital for ones health, pyshically and mentally.
It is lovely that the people you work with knew that was not you and called it out. It is really important to have good relationships at work – for me the people at my work make half my day, I love being with them. Also it is inspiring how when you realised you were not being who you truly are you could walk back and literally see why this was the case, it just goes to show that how we live really does support us, something I am finding out more and more.
Commitment and consistency- very confirming in how to get my rhythm back on track when I am out.
Hi Carmel its great that you took the time to ask yourself, ‘why am I feeling this way?’ and then track back to what caused it. Being committed to and consistent with myself is also a challenge for me too. I relate to sometimes giving priority to the jobs that need doing rather than myself first. Thanks for your clear reminder.
I love this Carmel, and it brings home for me the absolute awareness of the fact that we have a choice within each and every moment, and that when I bring all of me to the details of life – I feel that I am holding a space that is prepared for what is to come.
When I read your blog Carmel, its like I could hear your voice and feel you in all the words you wrote, it was so beautiful, like I was standing right next to you. I loved your blog so simple but profound, I too am deepening and developing greater commitment and consistency, what a difference it is making in my life.
How lovely to wake in the mornings with a sense of appreciation for myself and feeling well rested. If I allow myself to disregard myself by going to bed later than normal I wake feeling grumpy and totally ‘not me’. My rhythm is way out of wack throughout the day and I do things that I totally would not do, putting myself in more disregard until I am exhausted. When I get to that point I have to say to myself ‘hello, where are you’, time to come back from wherever you are (creating complications, dramas and victim stuff). Phew! I agree that consistency and commitment are the keys and thank you for reminding me!
The responsibility you have now taken is for me to look at in more detail. beautiful sharing 🙂
This really resonated for me Carmel. Lately I have been feeling the same way, and it’s just after this weekend that I have allowed myself to be completely honest with what is going on. I too realised that I was not being the real me at work, and that if I shifted my choices to ones that were more loving and allowed the honesty to pervade my every day tasks, then this would make a radical shift in how I felt. Seems pretty simple, but often the loving choices are! Thanks for the reminder again.
What a lovely sharing of you unravelling how and why you were not being your ‘usual you’. To me the most important thing was it started by you being truthful and honest in sharing how you were feeling. I keep being amazed at how things open up and shift when I am honest and share how I am feeling. When I do that I realise that instead of putting up a shield and pushing people away I am, instead, opening my heart and letting people in when I do that.
Honesty, always goes a long way. Sometimes we just don’t do it, but as shown in this instance saying how you truly felt opened up a whole new avenue…one where others were able to confirm what you were feeling but unable to decipher…”That’s not like you.” How amazingly simple life can be if we allow ourselves the majestic quality of honesty.
Carmel your blog is great. I often watch myself giving more importance to all the things I feet I have to do, “instead of being aware of my body and nurturing the real me.” Making a commitment to a steady rhythm at home supports me so much in work. When I let the rhythm fluctuate without care I am not as steady in my day.
Absolutely Rachel, a steady rhythm with ourselves and for ourselves I find supports me to be me in all the places I go and with all the people meet, including my work environment.
It is so true Carmel, how with commitment and consistency we can turn our lives around from one of clutter, indecision and overwhelm, to one of space, clarity and more self love, self care and truly loving choices that just naturally ripple out.
Carmel, so much of what you have said I have felt. But building a strong foundation with rhythm, routine, and rituals makes it easier to see when things go off track.
Carmel I have begun to clean, de-clutter and tidy one room each day in my home, going through cupboards and drawers and throwing out what is not being used. To apply this level of care to my body with exercise, nourishing food and rest will develop the commitment that you have written about. The consistency of rhythms is so supportive, I can trick myself into thinking I need a day off, which breaks the rhythm that my body really loves. So consistency, practised tenderly will be my intention from now on. I loved your way of waking and putting yourself to bed, beautiful nurturing moments that we can create for ourselves.
Thank You Carmel 💚 just the reflection I needed to hear right now. I too got out of my true, solid, caring rhythm over Easter… Something old crept in … And this morning I decided to focus my rhythm and get back on track . And guess whose blog I opened ? …😉thanks again Carmel!
I really love and relate to so much of what you’ve shared here Carmel. I feel for me building a rhythm that honours me and is as you say an expression of my commitment and consistency to being all of me in the world, is key. I can see how when I struggle with this it is just a reflection to me showing me that I am not seeing my own worth and value. The moment I truly connect to that, the easier it is to create a rhythm that supports me to live more fully as me in the world.
Too true Carmel. Once you let just one little thing slip, the rest can spiral out of control, then it can be difficult to pull yourself back. Tidiness around me is critical to me feeling harmonious and honouring of myself.
Thank you for this practical and honest account of your blue Monday Carmel – it is lovely to see how you so honestly call it out, look at how you have been living, and without criticism or judgement – chose to strengthen your rhythm and bring it back to consistency.
Thank you – this is very inspiring
Carmel, a very timely reminder about consistency and commitment to a loving way of living for ourselves. I relate to the fact of the little-by-little erosion and the house getting a little messier, my focus becomes more about doing rather than taking care of what is in front of me. When I wake up feeling the Monday blues I now know to look back at how I’ve been living and where my focus and commitment has or has not been. Before Universal medicine I thought that was out of my hands – now understanding how I feel is a direct consequence of my choices is very freeing, albeit confronting at times.
Lovely and beautyfull blog Carmel.
I have learnt how important it is to honour ourselves and honour the space that we are in and yes, to allow each of the spaces we live and move within to reflect great care and dedication to a clear way of living. It is an amazing way of supporting our quality of living.
What struck me about what you said Carmel was that you clearly know YOU, as in “the true me is joyful, playful and fun to be around”. This allowed you to then know that something wasn’t quite right. Starting from a place of knowing yourself is a powerful place to start. From that place it is easy to work out what happened and how to change it. True psychology.
This is so True Elizabeth, once we know who we truly are and how we feel when we are living that it is easy to unravel the things that we let ourselves be nabbed by. I am beginning to understand more deeply each day that I (the true me) is so supportive, holding and deeply cherishing. To find myself to not be feeling this in any given moment is an alarm bell, a nudge to return and connect and with absolute grace take stock of why I stepped away.
I know out of my experience how important rhythm is. When I am not letting things slide, my rhythm is supporting me very much, when situations occur out of the blue, which are not so easy to handle. Consistency is definitely the key and how you describe it – the little things count just the same.
Hi Carmel, sometimes when you read a blog you just stop and go ooh that’s a deep reminder to check how I’m living, after a few busy days ‘doing’ I’m letting things slip a bit and heading for exhaustion and a grumpy not me day! Thanks for the stop moment just in time!
I can relate to the importance of having a clear living space. When I clean the kitchen, or tidy up a room, I feel like I am not only physically cleaning, but also clearing the energy of the space and also clearing myself at the same time. I have always felt how symbolic a healthy environment is to my ‘inner environment’. So when you describe the importance of having those domestics in order, so that you can be in the right energy yourself, it all makes sense to me. Thank you Carmel
Awesome sharing Carmel, I also have realised how important a consistent rhythm is in my life, and how it supports me. Those Monday morning feelings can still sneak up on me, and when I look back, as with you, it’s down to a little accumulation of things that I have let slip. I find that if I stop doing one of the little things that I know support me, then a few more will naturally drop too, and then I’ll end up being in a place of overwhelm or stress. So, it’s important for me to notice when I can’t be bothered to do a seemingly inconsequential thing, like flossing my teeth, because even though it’s fairly unimportant, this is the bit where I can see I’m letting in a ‘giving up’ or ‘can’t be bothered’ energy, if I say yes to that, (with a little justification of ‘it doesn’t matter just this once’), then that is what begins to play out in other parts of the day. So commitment to being loving and caring to myself goes hand in hand with consistency…
I just wanted to say that I agree with you in that: The true you is joyful, playful and fun to be around.
Carmel, I love the honesty in what you have written and how you have realised how important it is to commit to a rhythm and to be consistent. That to truly self care is an every day, every moment thing, as our bodies are crying, literally, to be cared for with love.
I love your blog Carmel, the words consistency and commitment definitely resonate with me. I think I should make a big huge printout and stick it up to remind me to be that way with everything. Your blog is definitely an awesome reminder for me to reflect upon. Thank you.
I enjoyed reading this, the honesty and simplicity you share here Carmel has a light touch, oftentimes it is all so easy to auto-answer ” yes thanks I’m fine!”….but are we seeing this cover-up reaction as simply a “white” lie….
This is a stand out line….Appreciating and putting me first helps me to be strong enough to support others. It’s not selfish, it is essential self-care….such beautiful expression, thank you
Hi Carmel, I have noticed this busyness disease is affecting pretty much everyone I come into contact with. I know for myself it is a constant balance to ensure that I don’t get so caught up in the doing that I lose myself. ‘Doing’ without myself being present is not worth doing in the first place!
Thank you for your honesty Carmel as that is refreshing. I can recall dreading monday mornings all through school and my adult work life. Self care is not taught and no wonder I was so exhausted. Things changed for me once I met Serge Benhayon and he presented the importance of this much needed subject.
I totally agree that self care is not selfish but once it is in place, it is possible to truly support others. I am deeply committed to taking care of myself and making that my top priority everyday. To remain consistent has required some recent adjustments. For example, I could not carry on with my old pattern of getting up and going to the computer. I needed to look at the whole day and what was needed to support me and my body for that day. It made a huge difference and of course I got the computer work done and it flowed because I had looked after me first.
Yes, I am finding this too Bina, that I need to look at my whole day and set a rhythm that works with everything that needs to be done on that day. And that of course includes my body, which needs to carry me through that day.
Wow, I love reading this and feeling the transformation in you as you took responsibility and came back to yourself as you shared how you usually support yourself. As I was reading it I could feel and appreciate how much having a rhythm in place is the key to self care otherwise I find I spend my time chasing my tail as all my time is spent trying to finish what I could have done the day before! A short and very sweet read filled with precious practical ways to live and grow..thank you Carmel. 🙂
Beautiful, commitment and consistency is a word I hear too and makes so much difference. Making it simple like cleaning the space we sleep in and the kitchen sink after meals, I find for me is a great honouring in my rhythm.
This is great Carmel, I can really relate to what you have written, particularly about letting things slide like tidying the house and bed times, I also feel “the importance of setting a good foundation and a consistent loving rhythm in my life”. This really works for me and allows me to feel steady and consistent during my day.
Consitency – and consistent commitment – the hot topics of the moment for me too, and on that note, I’m off to clean the house and enjoy some gentle exercise – thanks for the reminder Carmel. 😉
I cleaned my bedroom today, especially in wardrobes, draws and behind doors – all the places that you don’t necessarily see when you first walk into my bedroom. In settling down for the evening it feel lovely, a deeply restful place to be at the end of the day.
Thank you for sharing Carmel – it is so true that the smallest changes and choices can have such a big impact on the way we live our lives.
Carmel, I can absolutely relate to what you are sharing. When I let my rhythm – all the things that support me, particularly the small ones – slip it is a downward spiral and I end up feeling less and less great about myself. Thank you, this is a beautiful reminder how very important and self-loving it is to take care of myself on a day to day basis and to treat my body with the utmost care and respect and always honour and cherish myself.
I love this blog Carmel. You offer some simple and very practical tips here on how to embrace consistency to support us in our day. Thank you for the added inspiration.
One thing I have noticed, if I am not myself it is so easy for me to drop the little things I do that support me on a daily basis and when I don’t care then I know something is not right and like yourself, my house can easily become messy. So getting back to the basic self care things I do and cleaning or organising always seems to help.
Oh yes “COMMITMENT and CONSISTENCY” are strong tools and I have to ask myself, what am I committed to and in what am I consistent. This world is full of incurable diseases, war, abuse, clipping, corruption, greed – no wonder that I do not like to be a part of it (specially on Mondays – after I had have my time-out of it), no wonder that I have no easy YES to it. But if I let myself go, get comfortable in my bed and hide from the word I commit to “giving up”, committing to ‘helplessness’ – and this will not change the world to a more joyful place, a place I would have no “monday-morning-feelings”. What you describe here Carmel are wonderful little tools we can use to come back to responsibility and which are supporting us to commit back to our power. They are self-empowering tools. And I found out for me, if I bring consistency into my commitment to taking my responsibility (starting with self-loving choices) – I develop trust again. Trust in me first and with that trust into others. A huge gift for me and I can feel the healing in that for us all.
Dear Sandra, I to have found that I can trust in myself now, a truly beautiful feeling it is to do something, knowing that I am choosing to do it in my fullness with the utmost tenderness. This is how I have been able to trust again, by committing to bring me into what I do. And like you say in trusting myself I am beginning to trust in others again, it seems that for most of my life, the ability to trust others has been hidden away, leaving me struggling seemingly by myself to cope with life. As I love myself more, I find that I share more intimately my life with others and in this find so many parallels with people. This is bringing great understanding for me, which in turn allows me to love others deeply.
Beautiful described Leigh.
More love for me brings more love for others.
I felt the giving-up-ness on you at the beginning of this article. And then as I read on this emerging delight in taking care of and treasuring yourself. Simply expressed, Carmel, thank you. When I give up on me I get fed up and resentful about life. When I honour and treasure me life is a playground.
I love that Matilda ‘ When I give up on me I get fed up and resentful about life. When I honour and treasure me life is a playground.’
‘When I honour and treasure me life is a playground.’ What a lovely way to express it Matilda and so much more joyful than being resentful about life which I can really relate to when I give up on me.
Thank you, I liked how that one moment, changed everything and you had the willingness and honesty to look back at how you were living, and to feel how you actually truly hold yourself.
“COMMITMENT and CONSISTENCY”.
Beautiful sharing Carmel. I have found my commitment and the consistency of not only what I might consider the bigger self-nurturing things but also the little things such as how I fold my PJ’s and lay them on the bed or how I leave my desk to return to are what can make a big difference in the support I offer myself.
It’s great that your work colleagues were able to recognise and express that you weren’t being your true self. But more importantly you chose to take an honest look into the past few days and to recognise “I had given more importance to all the things I felt I had to do instead of being aware of my body and nurturing the real me” and to realise that is why you were being that way. I also have come to realise that before I can of be of service to anyone else, it is important to be committed and consistent with my daily rhythms in nurturing and supporting myself so I create a solid foundation.
When I feel tired, sad or angry with myself for the consequences of my previous decisions, the first step is to recognize that this is not the real me. This gives me the clarity for taking responsibility for the mess and the toxic energy I expressed from the moment I go away from me. To be honest it allows me to choose what is the best thing for me and my body and to start again fresh with all the energy supporting my brand knew moment.
Thank you Carmel.
Beautiful Carmel. I love the first lines about it not being you when you are grumpy and not feeling ok. I can very much relate to that feeling. It feels almost like I do not allow myself if I don’t feel so good to be all my lovely self and express my joy with everyone around me.
Carmel, what you have presented here really resonates with how I can let the simple self-loving choices slip, when I put more attention to completing all of the things I tell myself I need to do. I agree with Danielle that your honesty and sense of taking responsibility clearly shows the difference it can make to be consistent and committed to a supportive daily routine. I loved how you said, “in the mornings I can wake up with a sense of appreciation for who I am and what I feel’. To hold that gentle thought while preparing for the day and then reflecting on it at day’s end… Gorgeous. Thank you.
Beautiful Carmel. It is the quality of our life that counts, the quality that you bring when you are connected and living with all you do. I love your sentence: I realised “I’d given more importance to all the things I felt I had to do instead of being aware of my body and nurturing the real me”. So true, it is our presence with our body that enables us to bring our real and true self to all we do. It is always great to be reminded of this!
It is always great to be reminded of this Lyndy, ‘it is our presence with our body that enables us to bring our real and true self to all we do’.
I also love this sentence Lyndy . . . it is a powerfully revealing sentence. It is giving the importance to the doing that causes that lagging ‘Monday-itis’ feeling. Staying present and nurturing our ‘real me’ leads to a joyful and vital life, as many can now attest to.
Thank you Carmel for reminding us all how easy it is to fall out of our routine and what commitment and consistency brings to us. When we commit to ourselves everyone around us gets to feel who we truly are.
I can relate to what you write here Carmel – Consistency in preparing and supporting ourselves for the day is a vital rhythm for our true wellbeing. Recently my husband had to go in for emergency surgery and there were very urgent things I had to attend to on his behalf. It took me a couple of days to fully realise the detrimental effect on my body with on old trap I had fallen into – putting all these necessary admin details first rather than the supportive rhythm for myself. It became quite challenging to get through everything as a result of this. Once I saw this for what it was, I chose to stop and return to my rhythm of self care first – the rhythm and flow in the day became harmonious again.
Putting ourselves and our supportive rhythm first is key, as you say Stephanie even when thoughts about the importance all those so necessary things to do are trying to convince us otherwise.
Beautiful sharing, Carmel. A great example of how being honest can lead us to the truth. In our disconnection, we can so easily auto-respond to a question with a ready made answer not realising where we are actually at.
A consistent loving rhythm is so important, and yet many of us overlook this and then wonder why we have ‘off’ days, being too tired and drained throughout the day. Being consistently caring and nurturing with ourselves, from how we put ourselves to bed, how we prepare our meals and how we prepare for the day ahead without cramming, rushing or stressing are all part of an essential foundation of self-care which leaves us this space to be ourselves, joyful and energised, throughout our day.
So true Katerina.
Great blog Carmel, you’ve explained so clearly how consistently committing to our daily rhythms best supports and equips us for life, I have found it to be the same.
Thank you Carmel. I have suffered from Mondayitis on every day of the week and it is awesome to read about how you addressed this. I often try to do too much and end up being very unproductive as a result as I feel overwhelmed by it all. This is such a set up. Your blog has inspired me to enjoy this beautiful Monday and do what my body feels to do.
Hi Carmel, I can really relate to this and found your sleuthing backwards to understand how you arrived at the Monday feeling – it is very helpful. All the little acts of self love really add up to a supported life and self. Thanks for the clarity.
I love the aspect that self nurturing and care for oneself can be the way to return to the connection that we all have. The simple steps mentioned “making sure I wash up after meals so that my kitchen is clean and ready for the next meal; keeping my bedroom tidy so that it is a restful place to sleep; switching off my computer earlier so I can wind down ready for sleep” Thanks Carmel, I too have moved from the simple steps of care and consistency and then wonder why I am ‘wobbly’. Easy peesy to get back on track when aligning to consistency and care with activities of daily life.
I can feel your humor, joy and sweetness in this sharing, Carmel. This is beautiful.
So true Kerstin.
I love this Carmel. The importance of a rhythm that supports me feels the same as breathing… it’s a necessity! I have really noticed this in the last month. My rhythm completely went out the window when I was on holidays, of course it changes without work, but how I put my self to bed or ate or exercised all stopped from my normal. So last week going back to work I struggled terribly, feeling like falling asleep at work, lack of focus etc. etc., until I realised and started saying no to things that took me further away from my rhythm and then I was able to work and do whatever was needed.
Commitment and Consistency, two of my favourite words at the moment. Thank you Carmel for sharing your expanding relationship with these gorgeously supportive words.
Thanks so much Carmel in sharing the absolute importance of a daily rythmn of true self-care that comes from listening to our bodies. I find that order and a commitment to be consistent to what supports me is huge in how I feel about myself. I share with my children that our days cannot flow with ease as joy unless we start with that in how we care for our home and our bodies.
That’s beautiful Carmel. I love how you’ve taken complete responsibility for your ‘off day’ and recognised that it isn’t even the real you, confirmed to you by your co-workers. How easy is it to come back to how we know ourselves to be by very lovingly paying attention to how we walk, eat, sleep, wake, etc. So very simple yet it makes a profound difference.
Perfectly said Sandra- it is about responsibility and as you say, it is so simple to come back to ourselves with the very simple choices of how we walk , eat, sleep etc. What a blessing!
Beautifully said Carmel self love and self care first, otherwise in my experience if I am not with myself (self love) and care for myself then I am not able to ‘do’ anything of real value.
Thanks Carmel for the beautiful reminder of the importance of Consistency and Commitment to the self loving ways we have in our foundation to support ourselves.
It’s true Carmel when you say that it’s not selfish to commit to and take care of ourselves and love ourselves deeply – it’s simply being responsible so that we are able to be available and open to ourselves and others.
Further more Deborah you could then say that it is actually selfish to not to take care of ourselves and to not love ourselves. For if we don’t do this then we are not able to do the same for others, there by our lack for ourselves brings a selfish lack for others.
Great blog Carmel, I can certainly relate to what you say here. More recently ” my wake-up and going- to- bed times were all over the place” as well. As you say “I need to commit to Me,the True Me, be consistent in these little self loving ways so that I create a solid foundation of support for myself”. Thank you for the timely reminder.
As you say Carmel Reid, having a rhythm in life is really important and this can only can be build with commitment en consistency. It are the small and simple ways we can take care of ourselves that do support us greatly in our everyday’s life and in building our rhythm. What I really enjoy in your blog is in how you share that you are able to reflect honestly on yourself and that this is the key to stop and to get back on your natural and personal track, so all people you are with can have fun with you because of you again.
What is key here Carmen is you were willing to admit you were not ok. How often to we do this and cover up revealing to ourselves what is going on on a deeper level without going into a story about it. I remember being so used to saying I was ok when asked how I was that I said it to my doctor once. He gave him a perplex look like as if to say “well, what are you doing here then?” I was simply on auto-pilot and not connected to me which is what being “ok” seems to really mean. If I am connected every moment is a joy no matter what is going on!
I love the simplicity, honesty and responsibility in making everything about how we prepare and support our self for life. I can totally relate to this and often when I feel a bit off I will spend time cleaning and reorganising things and before long I feel like myself again.
Great to be reminded of a good way back to ourselves. I too find that cleaning the house, and restoring order helps me feel way better about myself, and just more myself. It gives me a sense of purpose, that sense that I can change things, and am not stuck in the mess that I have created, and enables me to focus properly on something.
I find the same, Danielle. I find if I attend to routine tasks and restore order to anything that is out of order in my home when I am not feeling entirely myself, it is a very calming and self-loving activity which brings me back to me.
It’s so true Josephine, I’ve also realised it can be anything in my admin. If there are bills to sort, or numbers to crunch or phone calls to attend to, although these don’t make a physical clutter around us they seem to make an ‘energetic clutter’ in and around us, like an invisible cloud or cobweb around our head and our body in need of a dust and a spring clean.
I agree Danielle – and it’s amazing how often the simplest of things and keeping things simple, provides this support… things for me which can be as simple as tidying my desk at the end of the day, making my bed when I get up, and putting my clothes away straight away (rather than leave them in a wash basket for a few days!). I find that all of these things support me in my day, and I also notice that when I’m not quite feeling myself, it’s often these little things that I let slip. By being aware of this and using these little things as markers, it helps me be much more aware of when I’m feeling a bit off and also gives me the tools to come back to myself…
Agree Danielle its an awesome blog about the simplicity of life and the little things. If we neglect our rhythm that prepares and supports us on a daily basis it wrecks our foundation and without a foundation nothing truly flows.
Yes that’s so true Rachel. I’ve found myself feeling totally uneasy or uptight one day and I couldn’t work out why, and it was just because I had chosen to go to the shops after work at a time that I really had felt to go home. The whole time I was at the shops I felt out of sort and all of these complications happened when I was there. It took me until I was on my way home to work out what had happened – I didn’t honour my rhythm of what I really felt to do – amazing that something so simple can have such a great impact.
Oh me too Danielle. A quick reorganise and I am back to me. I loved your blog Carmel – so simple, honest and responsible as Danielle writes. I loved this line – “I’d given more importance to all the things I felt I had to do instead of being aware of my body and nurturing the real me”. That is pure GOLD. I am slowly reconnecting to that as well and continually checking in with my body about what’s needed for it – does it need to rest, move, do some more work etc…and then whatever I choose, I am choosing what it needs to do those things. So if I need to rest, then set up my bed lovingly, if I need to do some more work, what work is needed now, is my chair comfy, do I need some water, if I go to mow the lawn, where is my body at – am I a bit tender so do I do it gently, or am I feeling energised so off i go!….It is so lovely to do that for myself. Super supportive.
What you write is beautiful Sarah, I can feel the respect and honouring of your body, and not thrashing it around as if it’s a car you can trade in in a few years time when it wears out. Then we can be driving a luxury car to work every Monday. I can feel me in my Maserati now!