Recently I had a really sore throat, making it very painful to talk. I realised being unable to talk was actually a blessing as it revealed something about the way I talk and my unique expression that I have been struggling with for years.
I saw how there are times when my outward expression, namely my voice, doesn’t always match the gentleness that I feel inside. I have noticed my voice can feel harsh as I speak and then I can sound insensitive or judgemental, which leaves me feeling bewildered because of this inconsistency.
During this sore throat episode I had an esoteric connective tissue therapy treatment. In this session, I pondered on my way of expressing and the lack of gentleness coming through my voice.
When I hear harshness in my own voice, is it because I am trying to make it sound like someone else’s, and in that moment I don’t actually know what my own voice naturally sounds like?
I realised the harshness I feel is because the communication isn’t from me, it isn’t the true me.
I was listening to everyone else’s expression and how they talked, then choosing to compare myself to them, and consequently being hard and judgmental on myself, and everyone else.
During my connective tissue session, an image came to me of diverse, magnificently coloured corals growing under crystal clear waters. My insight in that moment was that our expressions are like that coral – they appear very different to one another but are all equally unique and gorgeous in their own way.
I understood that the individual ways in which we express are all equally significant and valid – indeed it is crucial that there is a variety.
I could feel right then how destructive and crippling comparison is, and is simply not needed; everyone’s individual expression together makes up the whole, just as each coral together make a reef.
I realise now that it makes no sense at all to try to be like another: it feels important to let go of comparison and let my own voice, my own unique expression evolve into what it naturally is.
I continue to be inspired by Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and Esoteric Practitioners, Rebecca Poole and Jenny Ellis who support me to investigate what I need to with such love and kindness.
by Suzanne Anderssen
Further Reading:
Communicating with, and Talking to People – No longer Calibrating my Expression
“Expression is Everything” – How I Feel About Myself, the World and Other People
Am I Allowed to be this? Finding a Balance in True Expression
The Truth about Serge Benhayon 
We are all the same but different and that can be hard to appreciate if what we are looking for is to be better-than. It is very interesting to observe how those who are completely at ease and content with themselves, and equally at ease and content with everyone else in whatever their expression might look like, can either disarm or infuriate others around as they do not participate and feed the game that seeks individuality.
We are all like different notes in the one song, without one the song is discordant, with all the notes there is a beautiful harmony.
Together we are so much more, ‘the individual ways in which we express are all equally significant and valid – indeed it is crucial that there is a variety.’
Beautifully said Melinda as was the comment made
“just as each coral together make a reef.”
It has taken me a long time due to the way we are raised and educated to appreciate that together we can be so much more than when we live as individuals.
The sound of silence can speak with a vibration of hearing the truth.
It’s beautiful to make the connection between our voice and the opportunity to express who we are in essence in this world. What a blessing it is to hear and feel another’s love, joy, and tenderness in their voice.
Recently I heard a recording of my own voice and immediately I noticed the thoughts came flooding in with comparison and judgement. It was great to be aware of this because I was then able to let go of the comparison and judgement once I nominated what I was doing.
Chan you have a really beautiful voice and I love listening to you,
‘I realise now that it makes no sense at all to try to be like another: it feels important to let go of comparison and let my own voice, my own unique expression evolve into what it naturally is.’ Yes coming from who we are on the inside is what counts, coming from the outside, makes us compare and insecure of who we are although we all deep down know who we are.
The more I live in my power and authority and express from this space, I notice the quality of my voice is totally different and much more harmonious and healing for the listener.
When there is any outcome needed that is driving our expression, the sound of our voice will reflect this. The quality of vibration being expressed is what is being voiced as the vibration of sound resonating from our bodies. When we express or speak from our connection to our body and Soul, our essence, our voice will naturally express with the sound that represents the vibration that we are aligned to in an effortless way that is unique to us all, voicing the divinity that we are within. When we are with ourselves, the love we are within, there can be no comparison as we are already everything and the expression of this quality is a sheer joy.
Wow Carola, beautifully and powerfully expressed, and I absolutely agree, it is pure joy to express from our Soul and the vibration is deeply healing.
Our expression is very powerful, how we use this affects everyone around us. We can either express with authority, love, and truth or express with contraction, judgement and delaying our evolution. It is important to be aware of how we use our voice and constantly take responsibility for all that we express.
Our voice is like a thermometer of where we are. Essentially, it is vibration. As such it communicates much more than words.
Very well said Eduardo, and this shows that we communicate with more than just words and body language. Understanding communication on a vibrational calls us to take responsibility for everything we express.
I like the analogy of the coral and how they are individual but together make up the reef as this is a reflection back to humanity from nature to remind us that this way of living can be ours too if we choose to adopt it. And we need to understand that we are creating all the misery in life because we insist on being an individual to the detriment of our community.
Thinking that we should sound (or look) like someone else, or in fact anything other than being ourselves, is debilitating. Our job is to make sure that what we consider ourselves to be is really the expression of the innate, true essence of who we are.
Thank you Suzanne, I enjoyed reading your words on the difference between when we express ourselves and how our voice and words are, and when we are not being ourselves. Feeling inspired to really pay attention to this, thank you.
I was speaking with an old friend the other day and although I enjoyed speaking with her I could feel immense tension and push in her voice and tone that felt harming in my body, this experience reflected to me the responsibility we all hold when we express.
I have found the same Suzanne. . .”that there are times when my outward expression, namely my voice, doesn’t always match the gentleness that I feel inside” . . . my voice sometimes go up and I feel how it is actually disturbing my body.
It’s the energy we are reading that is behind what is being said that we are picking up on. For example someone can say something very sweet to you, by reading the energy behind their expression you can feel jealousy, and so the sweet words expressed are hollow and meaningless.
Mary what you are sharing here is there is so much more being expressed than words, there is an energy which is also communicating much more.
Great point Mary and it is apparent that we pick up not only the words communicated to us, we can also pick up the vibration of what is intentionally expressed.
Yes, the words communicated can be the same as another,’s words but the vibration and intention can make such a huge difference on what is delivered.
There is also the converse where we can judge someone, perhaps from how they look, and miss the expression of who they are carried through their voice.
I too am becoming more aware of the importance of my tone of voice and how harsh it comes out sometimes – particularly when I am being emotional and reacting to something. But what I also am realising is that I have a responsibility to change this pattern as the harm we can inflict on others with not only what we say, but how we say it, can be significant.
I remember hearing my voice on a recording once and thinking that doesn’t sound like me. I have kept my voice soft and held back most of my life, to keep myself hidden, these days I am finding my true voice, with much more power and truthfulness in it as I am less holding back.
A gentle appreciation of all our physical body shares with us when it speaks louder than words.
‘When I hear harshness in my own voice, is it because I am trying to make it sound like someone else’s, and in that moment I don’t actually know what my own voice naturally sounds like?’ I heard my own voice recently on a recording, it’s been a long time since I’ve heard myself played back on a recording and I was amazed how comfortable I was with it. I was comfortable because my voice sound true, it sounded like me and not a version of me that wants to fit in or sound like someone else. It felt so lovely to hear the quality of my voice and appreciate what I was hearing.
The way we speak communicates more than the words we say.
100% Leonne – it is all about the quality of energy we align to as to what vibration is being communicated regardless of the words being used.
It is designed like this. We all bring a uniqueness that together forms the whole. Yet, we have to live it to the world and live it so it can help the others to realize that there is work to be done.
Our voice is the truest marker of how we are feeling at any given moment of time. We can pretend that we are ‘fine’ and voice this, but the truth of how we are feeling comes with every word that we speak and is felt energetically by the person/s we are speaking to. If we come to understand that words are simply bundles of energy, and that energy is felt by everyone on some level, then perhaps we may start to take responsibility for each and every word that we express.
Reading your comment Ingrid I find it hard to believe that we could think that we can ever cover up how we truly feel, even if our words express otherwise! We can at times though believe words instead of trusting how we feel. Reading your comment what I’ve realised is that it’s another level of integrity to match our words with how we truly feel.
There is no hiding, our energy can be felt and read by all.
When we express from our connection to Soul we offer the truth that confirms who we all are in essence. And through our uniquely constellated bodies our expression resounds the way we are here to shine the truth of who we are.
When I look around I see many people visibly not being themselves, but instead identifying with their job, their status, taking on roles that are at odds with who they truly are. And as they do the way they move and the way they talk changes. I too have done the same so I know how exhausting it is but I have also come to know how effortless it is when I allow my own, unique expression to flow, how life flows with it.
Yes, our inevitable surrender to simply being ourselves!
Yes, we each have our own expression and without it someone misses out because the way we express was exactly what was needed in that moment. The clumsiness of practice is part and parcel of growing up but we seem to have forgotten that and now react to young people rather than listen and understand what is trying to be expressed.
It’s actually really amazing to let seemingly small or insignificant things like losing your voice, shine some light on an area that perhaps we didn’t give much or any attention to before. I’m noticing this a lot as I allow myself to appreciate that there is no coincidence, and that everything is interlinked.
It sounds like losing your voice was an enormous gift! so illness and disease can actually be an opportunity to reassess what we have taken as normal and how we have been living, so we can choose afresh.
‘there are times when my outward expression, namely my voice, doesn’t always match the gentleness that I feel inside’, yes I have this too, and with the awareness I can immediately feel I have gone into a little bit of hardness, an old habit of mine, but it feels great to clock it and read it, and not go into making myself wrong.
There is something very freeing in allowing our selves to simply be, and to speak with the humbleness and authority that comes from us.
The unique and individual ways we express are all equally important, the key is to express, and to express in our fullness, ‘I realise now that it makes no sense at all to try to be like another: it feels important to let go of comparison and let my own voice, my own unique expression evolve into what it naturally is.’
I have noticed this at times with myself too, ‘ I have noticed my voice can feel harsh as I speak and then I can sound insensitive or judgemental’. I keep reminding myself to always express with love, still a refining process.
I have had some interesting experiences recently with my voice and have been paying attention to how it can change beyond tone pitch and volume. When I am totally at ease with myself, and feeling connected to my body, there is a different quality and vibration to my voice. I feel it resonating from deep within. I must admit to really enjoying how my own voice sounds and feels when I’m in this place.
What a simple tool, to feel our voice when we are speaking and allow us to feel it in our whole body. That alone allows me to express more from me than letting an idea dictate how and what I say.
I am constantly amazed at how my voice changes depending on where I am at, at the time. It is an absolute reflection of the truth (or not) of a connection to who we are, to our essence. Working with Chris James in his expression workshops has highlighted this more than anything else. The power of our voice to heal (or harm) is a level of responsibility most of us probably prefer not to acknowledge.
Thank you for the timely reminder Jenny that our voice has the power to heal or harm and that each of us has a responsibility to heal ourselves ( let go of the old baggage and hurts) and in doing so we offer healing to others.
Yes to understand the power of our voices to heal is huge… not in a beautiful sound but in expressing from the truth of something we know or have lived. As a practitioner I have learnt this over many years, some of the most powerful sessions I have offered have been predominantly talking. The shifts and changes possible in another has been profound at times.
Feeling our voice resonate in our body as we speak, supports us to stay present and not calibrate to another so easily.
It is great to listen to ones own voice, as it keeps us in the moment and very present with ourselves. It all reflects a lot about us, which helps in many ways to understand ourselves more deeply.
Our voice is always reflecting much about ourselves, which is supportive in helping us to understand ourselves more deeply.
Comparison is a killjoy and totally denies the immense beauty and the unique qualities we all bring.
I so agree! I didn’t think I was much of a comparer but when I read your comment, I could feel something in me stop and I realised that when I feel that from another I too drop into comparison because I am hurt they have gone there. Rather than hold steady in where I am, I can feel the part of me that doubts what I bring is needed. I have been both sides of that equation and no-one wins 😦 a good learning.
Thank you Suzanne, a voice is actually very powerful and healing when it’s spoken from ones love and tenderness, i.e. from the true essence of who we are. I have noticed that recently with some people around me and how I feel like I receive a healing from hearing them speak – it’s not the content of what they are sharing, it’s just the pure expression of who they are in their voice.
As we deepen the relationship with ourselves, with our bodies and true inner qualities, what no longer matches that vibration is very much felt and becomes very obvious.
After reading your blog the word ‘trying’ came up for me. In trying, I am putting effort into being a certain way, that is not me. I don’t need to try and be myself because I am already me. In being myself there is no trying and so there is no strain.
True Debra, no trying is an effortless way of being which gives us the space to express whatever is felt in our body.
Our voice is a great marker as to where we are, if we are angry, sad, joyful, they all have a slightly different tone, and each person’s tone is unique to them. When we go into comparison it also has its own tone, and is often cutting and destructive which is not loving for either person. When we live without comparison life is more open and more loving.
When we crush our expression we crush ourselves, and it doesn’t take long for this to be reflected in the physical body.
In comparison we are never enough and all that we already magnificently are is instantly negated. Through connection to who we are within we can express the love we are, with a quality that reflects our equalness yet sparkles with a uniqueness that can only be delivered through you.
We are like the different facets and angles on the one diamond, together we make the sparkle!
Feeling crippled and lopsided is how I have been physically feeling lately with severe pain that keeps waking up during the night, and reading your blog reminds me it is my essence that is being put under that crippling before it becomes a physical experience, and for me that is actually reflected in the entire life as expression and feeling that extent is quite devastating.
Often it is by listening to my own voice when talking with someone that I recognize how I feel, behave, express, ie. how connected and real I am or not. It´s like a biofeedback that offers the chance to immediately deepen my connection, open up more, express fuller.
We could probably say that all our dilemmas are caused by us not accepting and expressing the true you in full; the voice just like our movements is a direct reflection of how much we allow our expression to be authentic.
Beautiful Suzanne. It is amazing what can be conveyed through the sound of our voice. When I allow myself to feel the quality of someones voice this quality becomes more important than the words they are saying.
So true Leonne, and we can easily miss this observation and awareness if we are caught up in comparison, judgement or the need for an outcome.
What’s great about this is that you noticed that your voice did not represent the loveliness of who you are at times. That means you know you are lovely. How wonderful, and an inspiration for us all.
The coral is a truly beautiful analogy for our unique expression and also our importance as part of the whole. It is beautiful to be supported through modalities such as these that can help us to expose when we are not expressing our truth so we can address what lies in the way and ensure we don’t allow for anything less than all of us when we speak.
Paying attention to the quality of my voice has been very interesting. Over time I have noticed when I put on a certain voice to sound confident, a little girl voice when overwhelmed or stressed and a voice that feels warm and supportive and makes my chest feel tingly as I sing compared to forced singing that stays in the throat. My voice can tell me when I am using words to sound ‘right’ and when I use them to describe how I feel. Theres so much our voice can tell us!
“I realise now that it makes no sense at all to try to be like another: it feels important to let go of comparison and let my own voice, my own unique expression evolve into what it naturally is.” Comparison is crippling – for there will always be people better off – and worse off – than ourselves. trying to be and or compare ourselves with another belies our own uniqueness in the world. I remember reading how flowers are all unique in their beauty – one wind-blown rose doesn’t compare itself to the young bud waiting to blossom. Each flowering rose has its own beauty. Humans are the same. Comparison makes us feel less than.
We all have our own unique way of expressing ourselves and by actually appreciating those differences we realise how our different expressions can not only complement and support each other but teach and develop each other too.
As I was reading this I was reflecting on how I speak and it has reminded me to bring more awareness to the way I express and ensuring it is with all the love that I feel and not holding this back.
What a great realisation Suzanne: “I realise now that it makes no sense at all to try to be like another:” Whether it is the way we talk, the way we walk, the way we look, trying to be like another is like trying to swim against the current, which of course is so exhausting, and we would probably end up going backwards. Conversely, to be accepting of who we are and the unique way we express ourselves no matter what we are doing, becomes effortless and way more enjoyable.
Thank you Suzanne for sharing this observation as it offers a powerful revelation of how being ourselves actually feels natural, as when we are being or expressing ourselves we are in essence representing the All that we are equally from.
Interesting comparison! I so appreciate the different skills and approaches to life we all have.
Let’s not coral our expression! I love puns 🙂 Very simple yet powerful Suzanne what you have shared and it’s another area where I can really appreciate the unique contribution I make by just being me, and a reminder to really enjoy my way of expressing!
I love the coral analogy – the uniqueness and unity is a beautiful message to us to express from our own essence and thereby contribute to the beauty of the whole.
It’s crazy how often I have tried to mimic another because i think my communication will be more effective but it never is because the other person feels the lack of authenticity and then I beat myself up for not expressing something well enough. Accepting that I am enough just as I am and trusting that if I need to say something I will find the right words and way to express it, is something I am working on and it has improved the communication within so many of my relationships and brought increasing harmony to my life.
How we speak to another can be very revealing of how we speak to ourselves.
It makes no sense trying to be like another, when we connect with each other we are all the same and yes we all have our own flavour and I am allowing myself to let the beauty of everyone’s uniqueness in.
We all have our own unique expressions, so, going into any kind of comparison simply stunts our relationships and our appreciation of what we can bring to humanity. It can be exhausting to try and be like others when we can simply choose to be ourselves. I have noticed when I get a sore throat it is often linked to an incident where I have held back in expressing myself in full. So, I feel there is more to this symptom of a sore than we think and could it be harming us and others if we choose to not express who we are? I’d say, a definite yes.
There is so much more to expression than just our voice, or what we put our there. Every movement we make is an expression, every gesture, every thought. Once we become aware of this level of expression, we start to truly understand just how important expression is to the wellness of our everyday being.
I love the open and honest way you share Suzanne. I am often jarred by the sound of my own voice when I hear it play back on a recording. It is always obvious to me when I am ‘putting on a show’ and not being myself and I have noticed that this happens far more than I realise. Your story is inspiring because I can tell you have been gentle, loving and supportive of yourself as you examine what is and is not true for you.
Same goes for video or photos I feel. But the cool thing is as you’ve mentioned that the sound or image we react to is not actually us in the first place! Being open to exploring these reflections or even entertaining the idea that that voice or pose we react to is not us, not truly how we would speak is huge.
“I saw how there are times when my outward expression, namely my voice, doesn’t always match the gentleness that I feel inside.” I experience that sometimes too that my movements do not seem to match how I feel inside. What you describe here reminds how important it is then to not go by a picture I have in my mind and try to change my movements but to simply stay with what I feel and the movement will unfold.
I loved your analogy Suzanne of all our expressions being unique and likened to the beautiful array of corals that we see under the ocean – corals that you cannot compare because they all have their own beauty to be appreciated. We human beings are no different.
I agree Suse. This analogy has me pondering how strange it is that we seek to emulate others rather than appreciate our true expression. My sense is that a lot of the time we are reacting to the fact that we are not being ourselves and then seek to copy another (and unwittingly continue the pattern) in order to deal with this. It feels far more supportive (and way less exhausting) to just be ourselves.
Thank you Suzanne for a great sharing, I realise that I am often tuned into how peoples voices sound, but not really tuned into the sound of my own voice, though when I get crockyness in my voice I realise I am holding back from expressing.
A great lesson that when we are In the appreciation of the beauty of who we are and what we bring we allow our true voice to express forth.
How often when something we take for granted is taken away from us do we then begin to realise what it is that we have lost? When we “lose our voice’, cut our finger, break a bone etc, it is an opportunity to remind ourselves to not take one single part of this amazing body for granted, but instead to honour it, care for it deeply and get to know and understand it more and more each day. How wonderful Suzanne that “your sore throat’ turned out to be a blessing that came accompanied by a timely lesson.
Suzanne what a great realisation so often our bodies are telling us something yet we choose to override and ignore them. What if we asked ok so what is my body telling me? What can I learn from this? Suddenly it changes from being an arduous task to one of learning.
It’s awesome when you’re open to listening to what your body is telling you. A sore throat can lead you to appreciating that your expression is unique and should never be squashed…very very cool indeed!
I can really relate to this…there have been many times when words, or perhaps rather the tone coming from my mouth just didn’t feel like me. I’ve never really pondered it before, but what you say here feels very true Suzanne. I can safely say I have copied others in the past, believing that I should be more like them and less like me. I’m now constantly being reminded that there is no other way to be, other than myself…and it feels much better and far less confusing when you just allow yourself to be.
Until we let go of the image of being something we won’t be able to live what naturally lies within.
‘I realise now that it makes no sense at all to try to be like another: it feels important to let go of comparison and let my own voice, my own unique expression evolve into what it naturally is.’ How exhausting ‘trying’ is, as we need to achieve something or be someone we don’t feel in our body. The more I get honest the more I know my life was based on comparison and trying to follow a picture I had in my mind was perfect, which is never truly was.
In years gone by I was resistant to admitting that the way I expressed felt hard, abrupt, dismissive, controlling etc., but I can distinctly look back now and remember that even though I could feel the words I was saying at the time might have been true (or contained truth), that the ‘way’ the words were expressed were often anything less than loving. No wonder there was often so much reaction and resistance from others in this regard!I could feel that when I expressed this way, and although I often felt ‘righteous’, it still didn’t leave me feeling that great. I’m still working on this and learning to take responsibility for how I express – whether I’m willing to be truly open, or whether I’m trying to ‘tell’ someone something – and now (thank goodness!) I’m much more willing to be open to feedback from others and to listen to my own body feeding me back information on my expression… When I’m feeling clear, open and connected with myself and others, the expression feels very different to when I’m holding onto a hurt or judgement etc.
When I are able to speak without comparison or judgement or from my lack, but from the fullness of myself my voice is just right as it is. And its message is not imposing or harsh or misunderstood.
Very true Suzanne, we are all unique and each bring a different part of the puzzle to the picture – without one piece we cannot see the whole. And if 2 or more pieces are trying to be the same equally we cannot see the whole either.
Comparison is a real killer of self-acceptance and self-worth. We all have a uniqueness which is to be celebrated, yet at the same time we’re coral underneath it all, from which we know we’re all equal. The problem arises when we acknowledge the uniqueness and find it wanting by comparison rather than embracing it as our uniqueness in the equality that otherwise unifies us.
Letting go of comparison is such a huge issue. There is no point in having a bunch off clones! We are all unique, as you say Suzanne, with our own unique way of expressing. Sometimes it’s hard for me to remember this! But nowadays when I catch myself comparing, turning to appreciation is so supportive.
So agree Sue – appreciation is a great antidote to comparison.
So true Francisco, appreciation for our own qualities leads to appreciation of the qualities and uniqueness of others, no need for any comparison at all.
Agreed Linda, the more we appreciate the more we are saying yes to being more of the love that we are.
The more we appreciate our own qualities the more we get to feel the power of our own unique expression and that of others around us.
Just today I was loving something my daughter had made and then we were looking on the internet for habitats and came across other children’s work for similar project work and saw one that was also good, and immediately I felt hers was ‘less’ now there was something that appeared to be ‘more’. This has been with me my whole life I never pursued art as I knew I was not the best at it. I stop myself from being free to express for fear that I will look stupid and that I will have got ‘above my station’, ‘illusions of grandeur’. What a great set up, this is comparison and to indulge in it this way means you don’t allow yourself to shine. It also sets up an energetic reflection that the other doesn’t want to shine too much so as not to upset others. I feel it is so ingrained in how we are bought up it is something we have to consciously be aware of and call out as not being true at every opportunity.
“What a great set up, this is comparison and to indulge in it this way means you don’t allow yourself to shine”
This is a great line Vanessa, comparison is a insidious trick to reduce ourselves – we surely stop shining when we indulge in it.
Thank you Suzanne for this simple and beautiful reminder to accept and appreciate my own and others unique expressions. Recently I became aware of the tension in my voice when I am speaking to others especially over the phone, it is like my expression is forced in a way and there is a need to be heard. It has been really interesting to let this pattern go and any attachment I had to another ‘getting it’, accepting others and myself has been key to this and offers a more true connection with all relationships.
I love this analogy of the different coloured corals being our unique expressions and how they work together in harmony through the whole reef. We all have unique expressions and to be completely honest I often shy away from mine and use a small voice to hide behind. But the more aware of this I become the more I surrender to my true voice, as holding its beauty back is be a disservice the to the rest of the coral reef.
It’s amazing how our body sends out a signal for us to stop and understand what is going on and where we are at. I recently had a terrible sore throat too that lasted for days, and it was so painful even when I was just swallowing and I kept saying to myself ‘it hurts to swallow’ and that was exactly what I had to hear: it hurts to swallow = swallowing my words, holding back my expression was hurting me and everyone else. It was a call for me to look at the level of responsibility I was taking.
This is a great step to feeling your true voice..”I realised the harshness I feel is because the communication isn’t from me, it isn’t the true me.” I can identify this in my own voice very clearly, especially when teaching.
I have experienced at times people come and ask me what is wrong with your voice are you ok? Our voice can reflect us back when we are not in harmony or something is wrong then it changes it sound and quality.
Thank God we all have an unique expression and therefore comparison does not make sense but rather stops us from freely expressing.
A beautiful awareness Suzanne – comparison is indeed crippling and makes no sense once true expression is understood.
When the voice is affected or not available to us, it highlights the relationship we have with our verbal expression. There are times I speak and I am aware of the fact that I giving my opinion instead of hearing deeply that which the person really is sharing. It highlights much about how much I speak, the tone of the voice and the gift it is to be able to share in this way. Each of us are communicating in every move we make and the essence we carry is felt by all, this blog Suzanne has me reflecting on how much we get caught up in the verbal way of communicating and how we can choose to be more responsibility in choosing when to speak, what we say and the tone of our voice.
Letting go of comparison and seeing that we all contribute to the beauty of the world by being unique in the way we express is accepting ourselves and our contribution to life on earth.
We all have our unique way of expression, it is a beautiful thing we get thought and choose to be a bad thing, that others are better so we should be like that, which isn’t true. We grow together through each others way of expression, everyone supports a part in this world.
Suzanne, a beautiful expression of what brotherhood is made up of. Many different expressions that sing the glory of the one source.
Spot on Kim, I love what you share here.
This is a great sharing Suzanne, I can totally relate to the disdain you feel when you hear yourself speaking in a way that is harsh and not what is on the inside of you. There are some voices that you could just listen to forever, it feels like some voices wrap you up like a warm hug – it’s great to hear my own voice like that sometimes for this is my true voice.
“I realised the harshness I feel is because the communication isn’t from me, it isn’t the true me”. This for me is such a powerful sentence Suzanne, a beautiful reminder to honour my true expression.
This is a revealing blog Suzanne, as I feel that I too compare myself in many ways, especially where expression is concerned. I too have learnt, and been reminded, that we all express in our own unique way..
Thank you Suzanne, this is a great reminder of the importance of honouring my own expression and the unique flavour that I bring to the all.
Expression is not my strength so it was encouraging to read your blog Suzanne, our evolution is dependant on our individual and unique truthfull expression
“everyone’s individual expression together makes up the whole, just as each coral together make a reef.” This is a great image and shows that we all have something to say and the way we express is felt by everyone.
We love the variety in nature, all the colours, different tones the birds have, different shapes from small to very big, feeling soft or solid and so on. And yet we compare ourselves and see ourselves as less or more instead of loving the variety and feeling that everyone’s expression is needed and to appreciated. Nature gives us this beautiful reflection, we are all one.
Beautifully said Annelies. Nature is the perfection of everything working in total surrender and equal-ness to the whole, recognising the each little part has its own Divine piece to play and that it cannot work in true balance and harmony without it. This is something we may think is not possible of humanity but it is, and it is our future.
I love that everyone has their own unique qualities and diversity to share and express. This depth and variety is what makes up our beautiful coral reef and it is filled with love. Thank you Suzanne.
It is so important to stop and feel our own voice when we speak and communicate, it tells us so much, are we speaking from pure habit of complaining or feeling miserable, is there a tone of not being completely satisfied with ourselves? is there a depth that comes from the heart? is there en enjoyment of sharing myself totally with you, am I feeling yummy and not afraid to show it?. Our voice is such an expose of our feelings and energy we are in…It is one very useful tool to give myself love or not.
At times I also feel a harshness and brusqueness in my voice, thus not emanating the true me.
I am so appreciative that you have highlighted this Suzanne; a real and true reflection for me to ponder; an opportunity to take responsibility to change expressions that are harmful to others and myself.
Being hard and judgmental on myself, and everyone else is like a ugly disease for me. It is also not a lovely feeling in my body when I started to compare myself. To recognize that those feelings are feelings which takes you away from your inner loveliness is very powerful. Thank you Suzanne for sharing your experience how you have worked with those kinds of feelings and how to let them go and your analogy with the coral and the reef is very beautiful.
I agree esteraltmiks being hard and judgemental on ourselves is like an ugly disease and feels horrible in the body. It is so easy to think that we are not affecting the people we are in comparison with, but the fact is they can feel it, and our judgemental comments only confirm what they are already feeling.
Yes alisonmoir I agree I am able to feel if someone is judgmental towards me even if I am not talking with this person directly. In the moment I met this person this energy reveals itself directly as it is like a barrier between us.
“It is also not a lovely feeling in my body when I started to compare myself.”
So true Ester when ever I go into comparison, my body becomes hard, I clench my teeth and my arms become all tense and rigid – not feeling very great at all.
I like the analogy of the coral, all different in their own way but all connected to make a reef.
Over the years I have been learning to find my own voice and to stop comparing to other people and how they express. The energy of comparison in the body feels terrible and is very distructive to self and others.
Very beautiful Suzanne and I love the analogy you have shared. Thank you for the powerful reminder of how vital appreciation is, not only for our own unique expression but in all others also, as the Love from which we express is one and the same.
Suzanne, I love how much our voice can tell us, and how much my voice can change as I connect to my body more – it’s like a weather vane showing us how we are with our self, and whether we are speaking from us or not.
I agree Monica our voice gives so much away, we think we can hide but as soon as we speak it exposes how we are really feeling, whether we are hard, or angry, sad, jealous or contracted much can be given away by our voice if we really listen.
Yes Alison it beautifully shows where we are, and offers us that opportunity to stop and feel and come back to us.
Reading this today I became very aware of how in the past I would hold back from expressing which is, another way that I was making a comparison/judgement between myself and another of not feeling good enough or clever enough to contribute! Interesting as mostly now if I observe (not out to please or gain recognition) I become a better listener during conversations and feel so much more open to freely express if there is a need to do so in my own unique way. Great blog Suzanne thank you.
I love the simplicity of this blog Suzanne and this line in particular “everyone’s individual expression together makes up the whole, just as each coral together make a reef.” I often say to people about the colours of a rainbow and how it wouldn’t work if we were all trying to be blue…how all our varying colours make one, to step away from that leaves the whole less and we all miss out. I feel it is important to remind ourselves and each other we are part of that whole and that, our responsibility in that whole, is to represent our light in full so we support the whole to simply be all that is always has been.
It`s actually so crazy that we compare ourselves to others all the time when in fact we hurt ourselves with that… Since I pay attention to what happens inside of me, I can really feel the sadness and separation that comparison and the judgements I bring into it cause in my body. When I appreciate myself, my chest opens and I immediately have a smile on my face and feel much lighter. I actually don`t want to compare myself to others any single time anymore. I know that I do it just because of my childhood hurts, but these are not true for my life today anymore, so time to let go!
I love the discovery you have made Suzanne of the value in allowing our natural voice out. The voice can be the perfect teller of what it is that’s being expressed, what can be heard inside our own head may not at all be what is actually spoken, or heard when it leaves our mouth. By the same token what is felt when one speaks directly from their heart can be felt directly in another’s – music to our ears. To compare that song to that of another’s we miss the beauty held within those words being spoken.
Great piece and your comment, ‘I realised the harshness I feel is because the communication isn’t from me, it isn’t the true me.’ is instructive for me, I can feel where when I’m expressing something that someone else has said or something that I’ve felt from another, but actually it’s not mine to express, I feel false so I push and it feels horrible to both the listener and to me. Great to make that connection with a harshness, that is exactly what it is.
‘to try to be like another’ what a useless exercise and I used it a lot in my life. I feel how my body is tired of this exercise because it knows the truth, I am unique just like you and you and you.
I can really relate to this Suzanne. Hearing your own voice and listening to how we express is so important. I at times feel when my voice has changed, I am not really with myself, trying to fit in or expressing in a way that is not from all of me. This is not serving myself or anyone around me. I am getting better at noticing when this occurs, not always, but my awareness is more acute than ever, so can make different choices, stop, come back to myself and feel my voice in my chest and heart.
Beautiful, everybody’s expression makes together the unity we are. That’s the true meaning of equality we have to come to as humanity. Expression is not there for individual expression, but always in harmony with everybody else, only then our expression truly serves and offers evolution. I realized that when my voice gets hard, that I am pushing for something, I want to get somewhere or people convince to do something or to be in a certain way. This creates hardness in my body and feels not harmonious. There is no equality in my voice then, there is individuality. It is beautiful to learn, specifically through the Expression workshops with Universal Medicine how to express in equality always.
With Universal Medicine and the expression workshops we are given the opportunity to really appreciate our expression, how we deliver our feelings and experience about any topic, and how we appreciate what others bring that is expanding, each person’s expression making the coral reef that you described Suzanne. And as you have stated Rachel, “everybody’s expression makes together the unity we are, the focus shifts from being about me to about everyone.
Yep and the unique ways of everybody are so beautiful and special and there is no one like the other – there is only one version of you, therefore everyone’s voice and true expression is so important. Everyone is an important part of the universe.
What a lovely way to see how expression can have so many different versions and colours. I agree that comparison is a separation from self and from another, what is the opposite of what we all naturally looking for – our union in equalness and brotherhood.
We are all indeed unique in our expression and that is so beautiful. There is no need to try and express like another as the other is not you. Accepting and allowing us all to be who we are and express in our unique ways, and then there is no room for jelousy or comparison
Beautiful, we all have our unique expressions sharing our view on life and anything therein, I can feel when I choose to compare and try to sound different that I am often anxious and have a need to be heard a certain way. But I can feel how when I am expression in my own way, communication is much easier.
Suzanne this highlights to me how much I make my voice soft spoken and small. Sometimes I do a double take knowing that it wasn’t my voice at all but a choice to speak in a way that confirms contraction and playing small. When I truly connect and allow my voice out the way it should, reflecting all of me not just a smallish bit, the difference is telling and I know in that moment that my voice heals.
I’ve found that the expression that is me, my unique voice, is much clearer when I commit to really taking care of myself. I’m less inclined to be in my head and so much more in my body. What is expressed in words may be different or maybe only something short but it is coming from inside me rather that a repeat of what is the ‘right’ thing to say in a certain situation. Sometimes even nothing is needed to be said, but a silence that speaks volumes.
We all have our own unique qualities that we bring and many different ways to express them, learning to appreciate and accept ourselves is the first step in working together as one.
So true Francisco as I am learning more and more of late that the more I appreciate myself the more I appreciate others.
Thank you for sharing this Suzanne. I have noticed how my voice can change in different situations but hadn’t considered how comparison plays a part in this, though can see now how this is a possibility..I will consider and observe this more.
Gorgeous sharing Suzanne. How often do we pay attention to the tone of our voice. It is always revealing where we are at and this is a great reminder to give myself permission to be me and express from that place versus taking on the polite role of trying to be the perfect employee or friend.
Agree Katie, there is so much that can be felt by the tone of someone’s voice no matter what image is being presented.
Absolutely Katie and I have had the most amazing experiences where I have been shocked at the sweetness and beauty of my voice like it was someone else speaking!
In my experience comparison is completely destructive. In comparison one places them self either higher or lower than another, either position is equally harmful. Only when we realise we are where we are, because of our choices and comittment to life, or lack there of, can we let go of comparison and it’s close companion jealousy.
Suzanne, This is a lovely way of thinking of us all with our unique voices, unique ways of being. I also would stop and listen to my voice at times and feel like I could feel that it didn’t sound like me speaking. Recently I spoke to my son on the phone, he works out at sea and there was a time delay. I realise when I speak that my head is running in front of me so i”m not completely listening to the other person’s conversation. He spoke then there was a stop and then I spoke. It was the most beautiful experience. The stillness between us was so strong. I felt his essense and cried with joy. This is a marker for me to stop and give myself and the other person that I am speaking to the space to express. I would like to make all my calls on time delay.
Suzanne, I love that image the corals and the reef and how the reef would not be the same without each coral, and the differences in how each is. Such a great way to describe us, how we each express in such a unique way and how that is absolutely needed, each of us has a line in the chorus and without it the whole thing is less full.
I love the way that you expressed this, Suzanne, “my insight in that moment was that our expressions are like that coral – they appear very different to one another but are all equally unique and gorgeous in their own way”. That is beautiful. I have for most of my life been a very shy person and found it very difficult to express myself. I have been prone to throat infections on and off for a long time also, not so often nowadays but I still have throat problems at times. It is always such a good reminder and inspiration to me to watch that I am expressing from who I truly am and not to be trying to make a good impression or fit in with others. Thank you for a very inspirational blog.
We can try to hide the comparison we are feeling, but our body is great at exposing it. I know my voice changes or my actions are slightly more exaggerated and unnatural when I am in comparison. It is great to feel this because I can catch it before it takes hold. The more I am able to accept that the way I express is unique, yet part of the whole, (as in your beautiful description of the coral Suzanne), diminishes the need for comparison and jealousy.
So true, Alisonmoir, our body feels different when we are in comparison. Every form of comparison or judgement leads to a change in our expression and – what is even worse – to separation from others. It does not matter if we find another person better, smarter, prettier or more boring, less intelligent etc., ANY comparison keeps us from feeling equal and close to that person. Comparison affects our whole way of communicating and behaving towards others to a large extend and we often don`t even consciously notice that.
Thank you Suzanne find our true voice can be easy but its the consistency we need to allow it to be heard all the time.
I also have found that sometimes it shifts to match those i am speaking with, your image of the coral is very inspiring.
Embracing who I am has enabled me to start finding my ‘true voice.’ Its been a long process and is ongoing since I have held back from expressing for such a long time. When I do express my true feelings, it can come out a little awkward or stilted, because I’m not used to it, but slowly its becoming easier as I practice speaking up.
I too am enjoying finding my true voice Debra. The word essence is now also starting to become more real for me and not just a word or concept. It is the uniqueness in everyone’s expression or essence that I love feeling.
Suzanne, I love the image of the corals. It brings joy and a playfulness to the image of our own unique expression, none any less important than the other, all being there in their glory adding to the beauty of the whole. I’m going to take this image with me through my day today and enjoy all that I see and hear around me.
Comparison is such a tricky one. Your blog is really helpful. We can know as knowledge all the aspects of comparison and how ridiculous and harming it is but be knee deep in it before we know it.
Yes Belinda, I have been observing that its well after the comparison has happened that I then get a chance to notice I’m doing it. Same with noticing my voice is harsh. Still its great to be aware of the patterns and behaviours we have. I am working on being more aware before I act.
Yes Belinda I recently experienced the deviousness of it when I was thinking I was really pleased for someone but actually I was really jealous! Felt so horrible and ugly it is the subtle stuff that we really need to be onto if we are to be honest and heal what is really going on for us.
Interesting what your voice let it sound hard.
Comparison is absolutely not obvious in this case. I will ponder, if I go into comparison aswell.. Thank you for your inspiration.
What a great discovery it is to get to know your unique expression and get to love it. Every second of it. Cause then there is no need to compare.
I have also felt sometimes surprise at my own harshness in my voice, as I was not feeling that way at all, but was using the voice with that energy, as I was so used to expressing the difficult, the painful, the problem. Always first the difficult. No wonder my voice had got into that harshness. And my voice also changes a lot when I let go, when I surrender, after a session with an esoteric practitioner, when I express love.
Our voice is such a give away isn’t it! I would never have considered it till before and after a session with an esoteric practitioner as you mention, there was a lack of push, drive, persuasion in my voice and I heard it and felt it very clearly. From that marker, of hearing and feeling a difference, I have been able to be more aware and give myself a ‘session’ every time I open my mouth!!
ha ha Lucy that is commitment to be aware of the tone and expression of every word spoken, I recently had to listen to myself speak after being interviewed and my voice was so beautiful and sweet it really blew my perception of myself out of the water.
Good on you, others can hear it and say it but when we allow ourselves to hear it…that is powerful because the negative speak hasn’t had a look in.
I know this feeling that my outward expression can be harsh, not matching how I feel inside. It often takes me by surprise. I started to observe when it happens. It always does when I go in a reaction to a sudden, unexpected behaviour of someone. The fact that I react shows that in me there is already a hurt with a judgment: this behaviour of the other is not acceptable. And then I react fiercely, I can use harsh words and/or harshness is in my voice with only one message: back off and you are causing this reaction. I realized that I apparently have a hard time accepting certain behaviour and….that I too have this behaviour. The more I address, accept and feel this within myself, I have noticed I can be with other one’s behaviours more easily and my reactions and harsh expressions drop.
Thats a very good point- I know this too Caroline and thank you for bringing it back to yourself. We are so fast caught in YOU did something wrong and react to it.
The only reason why we react so intense is, because a part of us is the same & we don’t want to look at that.
Yes Steffi it can be a bitter pill to swallow those reflections of what we don’t like to look at! I sure do like to wriggle and squirm my way out of these things! The more understanding we have for ourselves definitely the more loving we can be with others also.
Expression is everything and as much as we might try, we cannot hide what is happening for us.
Our bodies through our expression, be it verbal or non verbal, reveals it all to our selves and to others.
However do we choose to listen; the choice is ours!
Yes Shirl, our bodies are expressing all the time… We have such unique bodies and voices… We bring our own flavour to our expression, so in comparing ourselves to another we don’t get to appreciate that what we bring is very much needed.
I agree Annie, and by not appreciating ourselves by going into comparison means we stop appreciating others. I have realised there are many aspects of me, and this is reflecting to me that everyone is a different aspect of the whole, to be treasured and appreciated. Appreciation and acceptance all come from a deep connection to our bodies which leads to an even deeper love of ourselves.
I love the connection to the different peoples expression and the different Corols. Very beautiful. As I was reading this I understood too how silly it is to compare two peoples expression. Both are so different but just as beautiful and needed !
Yes Emily, that’s so true, everyone’s expression is unique but so needed, just like the links in a chain, take one out link and the chain breaks. Accepting our uniqueness, yet knowing we are part of the whole, allows for letting go of comparison and then we can truly begin to appreciate each other. Just like nature works together without comparison, so can we too, because we are part of nature, what a lovely reflection nature is.
Suzanne, I can relate to what you say by a recent experience, where I had a painful inflamation on the side of my tongue. It made it hard to speak, but especially when I did not speak from my tenderness and inner loving essence, my tongue started to swell and I hardly could speak because of pain. When I realised this, I had to laugh – and gentle speaking without judgement or anger was possible. What a great bodily marker I had!
When I speak it reflects back exactly where I am with myself, from saying something from being disconnected, to something that comes right from my heart. It is a very powerful marker, and reminder for myself when I don’t express in the fullness of me.
It is really interesting to consider how the disharmony we feel on the inside, if not attended to, is imposing on others. Often times when I am being hard on myself I think that it’s just going on inside of my head, my own little secret world of beating myself up and that it doesn’t have any impact on others if I just keep it too myself. However your blog absolutely blows the untruth of this totally out of the water Suzanne for the indulgence and abuse that it actually is. I can now see how ‘beating myself up’, not only hurts me, but that the self-abuse vibrates throughout my whole body, through every cell and out of every pore, and has no option but to come out of my mouth in this polluted form. Every word, every sound, every movement I utter in this disharmonious quality is quite simply abusive and imposing on the receiver. This is awesome to expose and disturbing to feel, but I am also really appreciative for the openness I feel within myself to explore and experiment with this more.
So true Stevie, we cannot hide any inner turmoil as it will find its way out in ways we have no control over and will that impose on others. To be honest, open and true with wat we feel and giving it true expression is such a healing, not only for ourselves but also for all people we meet. For me this is an art of life and something I just start to understand the amazing beauty and power it has.
There is no sense trying to be like anyone else, its enough to know that when I am in my body how much richer my voice is and allowing it to evolve into what it is naturally without any comparison. Our voices are such amazing parts of our expression.
My voice is a great indicator of where I am at- if it is hard, sounding flat / disconnected or if it has this vibrating, warm sound. Being aware of this it is amazing to read voices of others, that helps immensely to observe and understand.
I always find it interesting when I hear my voice say something that feels completey off. Often this will happen at work, where I occasionally slip in to an old pattern of trying to fit in and be like everyone else, usually by adding an agressive edge to the tone of my words. These days I’m aware of it the moment the words have left my mouth, and then I have an opportunity to snap out of it and not join in any further.
It’s with our own voices, our own words that we will come to be unified because each one of us contains a unique aspect of God that can not be represented or delivered by another. There is nothing more important in life than to allow one’s natural expression to flow as part of the grand orchestra of divinity – quite the opposite of the systems that on the one hand stress the importance of individuality and on the other demand that we conform and regurgitate that which does not come from within us.
Another great analogy and clear symbol to illustrate your story Suzanne, I am connected immediately to what you say when you use nature in this symbolic way. I am a master at doing my hair and makeup and dressing up to present myself as being more together than I really am but I can never truly mask how I am feeling because it is heard in the sound of my voice. And I agree wholeheartedly, that when I am not comfortable in my own skin, and something is troubling me then my voice can come across abrasive and non-caring which is the total opposite of me, and equally if I am trying to look like something or be like someone else it can be heard as an arrogance. It is horrible and this blog is a great reminder to always just be myself.
This was great to read Suzanne. I always pay attention when I have a sore throat, and I find when I acknowledge immediately that it is more than likely from a lack of expression and take the time to ponder on what is going on for me, it resolves the sore throat really quickly. It is beyond amazing how the body will reflect so clearly to us what is going on – we just have to be prepared to listen.
Through many years of trying to please I twisted myself into many roles. I even used to proudly call myself a chameleon. What I have learnt, inspired by the teachings of Universal Medicine, is that trust comes from consistency and this absolutely made sense to me when I thought of the people I trusted. They were always true to themselves; it was not about pleasing and it was not holding back from the truth ever.
Wow this is a big revelation! When someone speaks in their own true voice, I find it so beautiful I can literally listen all day. I notice how sometimes my voice changes and becomes more strained or quieter, and it’s when I am not feeling myself. So I notice how my voice sounds is always a direct reflection of what I feel inside – it’s fascinating.
More recently, I’ve been reading various excerpts from books by Serge Benhayon out loud to myself. Its been interesting to hear and feel the deepening full-bodied quality of my own voice, and how my body responds and softens with the expression of truth in every word I read. I feel the responsibility to speak from the truth deep within me and the fullness of who I truly am as my words are not for me, but for all humanity.
Hi Barbara. I love to read out loud from the books by Serge Benhayon too – it works like a meditation for me because it connects me deeply to my body and the words resonate through my whole being. I find it can be a great way to wind down at the end of a day and develop my awareness at the same time.
It used to crack me up a lot when I heard people putting on a phone voice to sound more important or intelligent or something or change the way they spoke in different company but reading this blog made me aware of how my own voice changes at different times especially if I am not expressing fully.
I love what you have shared here Suzanne, it is so very common and something i have been bringing more awareness to within myself. How i speak, the tone i use at any given moment. It is so true that when we are not speaking from within us, from our bodies that it is easy to be expressing based on someone else’s view point, or ideals and beliefs. I certainly have a lot more awareness of this for me and continue to bring my true expression not anyone else’s.
The comparison thing is something to be aware of constantly, it really is not needed and so unnecessary as we are equally gorgeous in our own way, but it is easy to slip into if we are unaware. One goof comparison though is between us and the coral reef.
Hi Suzanne. It’s very empowering to allow our own unique expression to develop and be expressed forth.
We are exposed quite possibly to millions of different voices with our technologies today – a situation way different to how we lived in the past, where we may have known only relatively few people: no wonder, then, that there is, at times, confusion about our own voice when we have listened to a multitude of others, given that we do tend to copy and mimic what we like and what we don’t like. I feel there are many factors associated with losing one’s own voice – this sensory overload is definitely one contributing factor.
The way we speak and the sound and tone of our voice can reveal so much about ourselves. If I hear myself speaking harshly it is usually because I have been critical about myself first and this often stems from comparing myself to others.
There is such a true joy in saying what you feel, from your heart and in a loving way. For years I felt that any voice outside me held more authority than me and I gave my power away to what another said. I’ve recently realised I can stay connected to me and express what I feel to say amongst a chorus of other voices, and enjoy simply being with me.
Have you ever heard yourself on a recording and been surprised by what you hear … or rather feel? I have noticed how my voice, quality and resonance is a direct reflection of how connected I am with myself – ‘in’ my body. In fact I can feel a different quality in everything I do if I am first not with me, connected and embodied.
Comparison is such a poison and so limiting – constantly distracting us from who we truly are so we don’t focus on all the love, beauty, harmony and grace thats within every one of us, and is limitless.
Thanks for writing this Suzanne, it’s such a big topic; I’m appreciating more and more how destructive comparison is.
Suzanne I love the way that you saw the opportunity in the sore throat to look deeply into how you were speaking, and that you were able to see how comparison diminishes us. I loved the analogy of the beautiful coral formations in crystal clear water, representing all our different expressions, and how together they make the reef.
“I could feel right then how destructive and crippling comparison is, and is simply not needed; everyone’s individual expression together makes up the whole, just as each coral together make a reef”.
I love the analogy you use here Suzanne. You have inspired me to be more aware of where my expression is coming from
Yes I have it that even a slither of comparison leads me to hold back on my full expression, which is a loss not only to myself but also the whole community of ‘coral’. Michael Benhayon once asked me “what would happen if one of the stars chose not to shine” to show me the absurdity of not expressing myself fully and confidently.
Suzanne, it was really great to read this again. Almost like I was reading it for the first time 🙂 I realise more that I have often tried to make my expression and what I say be like someone else e.g. the expert or just needing to have an answer or something to offer…. Whereas there is no need to try, as we All offer something uniquely and equally beautiful, which naturally flows forth when we connect to our innermost and express from this place.
Very beautifully expressed – I can certainly hear your true voice in your written expression here. I love the analogy of the coloured corals making up the whole reef – we are all unique and they way we fit together and potentially work and live together is something to cherish not use against ourselves.
Awesome.
And when we compare ourselves with others, the world misses out on the amazingness of us.
Definitely not worth it I say.
Absolutely Thomas, we all have something unique to share and offer the world. Let’s not hold back!
You make a very important point when you bring the issue of comparison into the topic of expression and how that hinders and constrains us. Could throat problems possibly have something to do with this?
The voice is a great marker. When I am not in my body and not connected to myself there is an emptiness in my voice, sometimes insecurity, harshness or any kind of emotion. Whereas the more I am in my body and connected to me the clearer, stronger and deeper becomes my voice and what I am saying.
Indeed the voice is a great marker for the level of connection I feel to my inner-most and it feels and sounds quite different when I am speaking from my body and not just my throat.
Yes Jenny, this is something that i too have noticed and felt. The voice becomes a great marker or tool to have, as a way of checking in with ourselves. I particularly notice the sound, tone, and quality of my voice after i have had any esoteric bodywork sessions, theres a deeper richer tone that seems to come from my body rather that produced at the throat. Its quite exquisite to hear and feel, and in itself very healing to hear and recognise that this sound is generated from me. Learning to have consistently with this is a commitment to self care.
I agree Jenny, sometimes I notice my voice can sound more high pitched than normal and it is an opportunity to come back to my body and connect.
For us proud chameleons out there, this blog is a great reminder of the ills (literally) of choosing to emulate or adopt the pitch of other people’s voices at the expense of our own unique expression, our own unique essence. Trying to be something we are not – in anything – is always going to bring us discomfort eventually, because we’re working entirely against who we know we naturally and truly are.
I agree Cathy, it absolutely makes no sense to try to emulate others as:
1. it goes on the expense of our own expression as you have written, and
2. only speaking with my true voice and/or walking my true walk is truly joyful and brings Evolution.
Perhaps this is why a true role model is very hard to find. Most public figures, celebrities, sports stars – people often thought of as role models – are chameleons. They alter their expression according to the audience and theme they are targeting. For me, it is very easy now to see through this. I am looking for consistency in my role models, not a behaviour that makes me feel good about myself in that moment, but not true.
I find this experience amazing as it is simple proof that the deepening of our awareness unlocks the potential for a far truer, gentler, and deeply loving way of loving with all.
And yes speaking with ‘the other tone’, comes from how we think we are expected to express ourselves, from a pattern we have learned or one we have been repeating ourselves. “how are you?” “good thanks”
“in that moment I don’t actually know what my own voice naturally sounds like?” I found this to be really brilliant Suzanne. It would be unique and quite surprising to hear our true voice in situations in life. And i Know I for one am quite surprised when I speak naturally how my voice is different to how I expect it to be, but beautiful never the less. There is a way I have come to know my true voice though. I feel a certain vibration in my chest and it feels a certain way to express, it actually expands my whole body when I clearly and openly express myself.
When i am connected to me, my expression is true and unique to me, At times in the past i would hear myself speak i would recognise my fathers harshness, i have clocked it and now express from inside. It feels so much more true and gentle, Also something i have to always bring my awareness to. Thank You for the reminder.
Great sharing Suzanne It reminded me of a message I got some 10 years ago when my hip started to give me trouble. The message I felt I was getting from my body was that if I didn’t walk my own walk then eventually I would not be able to walk at all. And sure enough the problem got worse until I started to seriously shed all the ideals I held of how I ‘should be’. With great support from the my sessions with Curtis Benhayon I am now able to walk my own walk. I am mentioning this as it is a bit like talking one’s own talk
Kathleen that is amazing, super inspiring to bring that awareness to your body and then get support to help heal and let go of what is causing the issue. Awesome.
Fabulous outcome for you kathleen. It tells me expression doesn’t stop at the voice, but that other parts of our body are telling us what’s going on inside us – there are many markers that are unique to me that reflect a love and acceptance of myself and conversely reflect judgement, or self worth energies in me too.
I have noticed my voice is deeper and comes from deep within my body when I am totally with myself and not emotional, then it comes out with a force and can be higher pitched and comes more from my throat, which hurts.
Working on my expression is a focus for me in so many more ways than words at the moment. It’s how our bodies move, how we breathe, how we feel, and the end result is the words that come out with the energy to show us the Truth of what is going on inside.
So true. It all matters, every detail, not only what comes out of our mouth. That is indeed the end result of all the choices I made before I spoke,
SO very wise gillrandall; our expression doesn’t stop at voice; movement, breath, thoughts, feelings et al make up the end result that is reflecting the truth of what’s going on inside. We may be able to hide for a short while what’s going on inside, but not consistently, as our expression one way or another will give us away for sure.
So true Suzanne, we all have our own unique expression. We just need to let it out.
Suzanne – you have raised some very important points for me to reflect on. The comparison monster, changing to fit the expectations of others, putting expectations on myself etc are all ways that I change my expression at times. I now have an expanded view from which to notice, understand and address how I am wholly expressing myself in any moment. Thank you!
I feel our voice, the pitch, volume and how we are expressing what we are feeling is a wonderful marker of how we are with ourselves in that moment.
Yes I agree Alison, the vibration of our voices can reflect so much and we can clearly feel the quality we are resonating.
Yes, a wonderful and very wanted marker for me, Alison too.
I agree, Alison: when I feel still, my voice drops about an octave usually!
Yes Alison I also notice the change of pitch and resonance in my voice too a beautiful marker indeed.
I can totally relate to what you share here Suzanne. That harsh or unnatural voice quality, for me, also comes when I am trying to speak to meet an ‘ideal’ of a way i should sound or express.
I realise now that it makes no sense at all to try to be like another: it feels important to let go of comparison and let my own voice, my own unique expression evolve into what it naturally is.” This is great Suzanne I am sure we can all relate to this in many aspects of our lives. Bringing our unique expression feels so freeing.
‘I realise now that it makes no sense at all to try to be like another’ – so true, it really makes no sense to try to be like another person, yet we spend so much time and effort doing just that!
It is interesting how the voice changes concerning from which place I speak, if it is from an emotional or reactive place or coming from my stillness.
Yes kerstinsalzer15 I have watched this with myself also. When I speak from my stillness my voice comes from deep within, and resonates from my whole body, as if all of me is speaking, as opposed to my emotional or reactive voice which feels one dimensional and from the throat or head.
This is beautiful and very reflective to read and identify what we all know inside about our voice and what we say and where it comes from. I can relate to it very much and know that expressing through my voice truly and powerfully with me is an amazing feeling and that when I do not do this I cannot be heard and do not want to be really and it is very exposing.This is a huge subject and brings revelation and understanding and the need for healing our hurts and expressing our truth lovingly.
Suzanne I’ve been noticing recently how my voice and way I am can change in different situations and feeling that its not actually the situation that means my voice changes but in fact the way I approach it – do I come to that as me or as you and other share – do I come acting in some role or way I think I need to be or a role that gives me some form of attention.
Your comment David reminds me of what public figures do: they morph into a role, changing their voice, their appearance, their personality for the audience receiving them. There is nothing true or accepting about this behaviour. I think it all stems from a lack of self worth or self esteem is knowing they are enough as is, and no changing is ever needed. It is very very good I know many people personally that continue to show me I need never change who I am, because my way of expressing is fine if it comes from the true me.
Thank you David and Suzanne- I really connected to what you said about to not change yourself for another but to begin to create that relationship with ourselves to be connected to ourselves in any situation. “I will not sway” as Michael Benhayon so beautifully says in his lyrics. This is something I am working on.
This is so powerful. I’ve recently begun a new profession and it’s illuminating to feel how I can take on the voice and demeanour of what I think I should look like within this role. These ideals and beliefs come entirely from observing others and are definitely not naturally me. What you’ve shared is really worth pondering on and has so many layers… thank you so much.
I can so relate to this, Heidi. I remember when I was admitted to the bar I ‘put on’ a very (Queen’s) English accent when I was making my oath -and I felt such a fool afterwards! Writing this, I realise that I still feel the embarrassment today. Time to let that go now…and bring my focus to speaking with my true voice from now on.
I agree Heidi, l am a teacher and lve noticed it’s quite easy in my profession to take on the “teachers tone” where the students are concerned.
For teachers it can be a harsh authoritative voice that signals “l’m in control and what l say goes”. I realise this caps communication and doesn’t leave room for true, open, sincere expression. I notice how I can take on the voice and demeanour of what I think I should look like within this environment.
This can also carry through to friends and family, when l am not myself. Thank you for the reminder to feel the true qualiy of me through my body and to be more aware of how this is reflected through my voice.
I know that ‘teacher’s voice’ Irena! My mum has used it many times! And there is also the ‘phone voice’. It is a personality adopted for that moment the phone is answered; I wonder if it’s because there isn’t enough self worth within to feel you don’t have to change yourself for another?
Hi Irena, Yes – I notice when I go “in role” as a teacher with the “teacher voice” or the “teacher stare” too. What’s great is that, these days, I can usually quite quickly pick up that I’ve gone into a role and that it’s not me talking, but a belief about how teachers should be, that I’m expressing in that moment, so I can step out of it now reasonably quickly.
Yes Irena, I too can relate to taking on the tone of my profession at times, in my case ‘the manager’s voice’ which can be harsh and controlling’, which shocks me every time I hear it coming out of my mouth. By using this tone I’m saying ‘I have the control here and I’m really not interested in what you have to say right now’. Whereas what I’ve come to know about myself, similar to Suzanne, is that this impostor tone is nothing like the tenderness and deep care for other people I feel on the inside. It’s so great to expose this and I’m looking forward to exploring more with my voice in the workplace.
Agree Suzanne re phone voice, and even not just when we receive the call and pick up the phone, but also when we’re speaking in the office with other people of different levels of authority or importance like a ceo, colleague, reception staff etc. I recall noting the differences when I spoke with family or even certain friends, that my voice or accent would vary. How we like to measure what comes out of our mouths through voice – to get a result of alignment, agreement, likeability, acceptance, and how restrictive this feels when we become aware of what we’re doing and how far we’re changing to ‘fit in’. Voice carries a quality and expression of us through how we live, and so long as that quality is held, the true way of speaking will naturally be according to how it’s needing to be said or heard.
I can relate to putting on a different voice when I’m trying to get a particular response from the person I’m talking to. It’s strange to consider that I don’t think just being me and speaking in my normal voice will do. There is also an element of manipulation in the change that doesn’t feel very good. There are many interesting things this blog has brought up for me to contemplate.
Indeed Suzanne – it can be so stifling to live in comparison, which I know I often have. Realising and feeling myself as one of those gorgeous bits of coloured coral making up the reef is such a liberation.
I agree, the image that came to you Suzanne was just meltingly beautiful. Thank you for sharing. We have so much to learn from each other and to develop our own true expression.
To give myself the permission to be the real you and to express from there- change the tone of my voice immediatly. It is an amazing experience to practise it and to feel the affect on the body.
“I realise now that it makes no sense at all to try to be like another: it feels important to let go of comparison and let my own voice, my own unique expression evolve into what it naturally is.” Comparison is crippling. Every single one of us is important, bringing our piece to the whole. A jigsaw puzzle with just one piece missing can never be complete. But what sort of puzzle are we making? One of truth, joy, harmony with everyone and every-thing – or one of separation and individualism? Our choice.
Suzanne, I was drawn to read your blog again this morning – there is much for me to reflect upon with your words – thank you for sharing your wisdom and your experience of becoming more deeply aware of the impact of the quality and the resonance of the voice in expression.
It is wonderful to read how you felt that your expression didn’t reflect the real you and the other realisations that came from that. How beautiful it is to feel the congruency of expression matching the essence of the speaker, thanks Suzanne.
Our unique expressions can be used to further embed the need for recognition for self or to play a role in the evolution of humanity. We have been given free will to choose which path.
What occurs to me that everyone attempting to sing the same notes is called unison, but when that changes into singing your ‘own part’ that is known as harmony.
I love the words you have written here Kathie – “..to sing the same notes is called unison, but when that changes into singing your ‘own part’ that is known as harmony.” – that is so beautifully expressed and those words sing to me.
Thank you Suzanne for sharing your recent experience, this will be a reminder for me to express me and know that what I express will contribute to all others expressing with no comparison just appreciation.
Thank you Suzanne for your sharing I too have found it,s amazing when I listen to my tone in my voice sometimes and wonder were did that come from then followed by oops I am not connected to my self.
A precious sharing you offered here, Suzanne. The voice in it’s individual quality. As I work a lot with my voice, I have learned to love to appreciate it as a “mood barometer”. Whenever it falls into the throat – I let myself get confused by the outside. Or when it looses it’s power that’s a sign of me not speaking truth or claiming my power. When it feels mumbling – I am not clear in what I am about to say. It’s huge what the voice shows us – it’s a part of the unbelievable beauty the body is constantly bringing to us!*
The voice is such a powerful instrument actually it is the oldest instrument. I have been singing more then ever recently and this has extended into how I speak. This new found awareness of my voice has changed the way I speak. I can feel if it is easy and free flowing or not.
I have found that in knowing my voice more it has aided me in expressing. It is like I have confidence in my voice and now more then ever I have confidence in saying what I have to say. Finding my voice as allowed me to open up more.
What a beautiful way to look at things more deeply and as I can see from the comments above one that everyone can relate to. My voice is deeper when I’m truly present within myself and at one with my body. I’ve also come to realise just how much drivel – as in pointless conversation – can come out of my mouth when I’m feeling anxious about something or trying to fill a silence that I feel uncomfortable with rather than sit with the feeling and ponder why I feel like that.
The voice is huge and it’s a greater marker to see how we are in ourselves and with others naturally. To be aware of your voice and these little ways is a step forward to taking a deeper level of responsibility in how we communicate to the world. Thank you Suzanne for sharing this.
Hi Suzanne, I very well know what you mean. I started a while ago to send voice messages instead of written ones which gives me the opportunity to not only feel while speaking but also to re-listen to what I have said. So I have a direct mirror to how I speak, how it feels in my body and how it feels while I am listening to it again. This is a very interesting tool for me to experiment with.
What is so beautiful about your blog, Suzanne, is how you cherish your important part in the whole. I certainly can learn from your expression and allow myself to feel again, what my important part is.
I’ve noticed that my expression is determined by how I walk and carry myself. By making a conscious choice to begin with me, it sets up the next step to follow suit and to maintain that connection. The world can easily slip in under the skin and affect my walk thus affecting my expression. This then determines what my voice sounds like or my expression as I walk and move. The more I choose each step with presence, the more I can build a body that can only express truth.
I love how you’ve explained this “By making a conscious choice to begin with me, it sets up the next step to follow suit and to maintain that connection.” I find that each choice sets up the next, no matter how small it is. So it stands to reason that our movement, which is a continouous flow through our day, should be the factor that we pay great attention to.
Our voices are powerful tools never to be underestimated, it can be all to easy to forget the effect it can have on ourselves & others..
I find myself reading this blog whilst I have laryngitis. What you have presented is timely for me to ponder on and consider how I use my voice and how I am when I speak, communicate, express. Thankyou Suzanne
When i read this it brought to a moment of stop and i remember a friend recently saying to me that my voice did not sound like my voice….at the time was speaking with her i was angry about something so there was a harshness in my voice. I know those moments when i’m feeling loving and how beautiful my voice feels when i speak, it comes from my heart and as it expresses it has a depth and silkiness to it, even i love how it feels and sounds and i know others also enjoy it and open to listen..….I know many people who do not even like the sound of their voice and say that does not sound like me, could it be that we know what our true voice sounds like and when we hear different its because our voice is expressed from something else like an emotion….just as you, Suzanne have shared.
Thank you for sharing this insight Suzanne. I find that when part of my expression doesn’t feel true, whether it is the way I am talking, walking, dressing or anything, it is a reminder for me to connect deeply to who I am and re-establish my sense of self and then express from this connection.
Suzanne, I love what you have shared here. Further to not having comparison or expectation on how I express, is not having that for another. I can see how my expectations for another to express in a certain way are reflective of how I see that for myself. I love what you have shared about the coral and how each, different expression is needed to make up the whole. This is a visual that will stay with me too and serve as a beautiful and powerful reminder. Thank you!
What a great reminder that any harshness in our communication isn’t ever from who we truly are and so is harsh, and not just in our bodies but everybody’s body!
It is such a gift to realise you don’t have to sing the song on your own or stop singing because someone else is and/or “better than you at it.” It takes all of us to sing the song (maybe a strange metaphor but I’m going with it :-)!). I am realising that the comparison that you talk about holds humanity back so much because we choose not to say something because we won’t look as good as that person – or whatever the reason is – but it is our unique expression that makes up the whole. And when we hold back the whole is less. And this is not what is needed. It is our daily commitment to expressing yourself – without judgement and without comparison and not in perfection that will bring us back to singing as a whole. (yep went there again!).
Yes Sarah, holding back with our voice expression because of comparison is actually crippling…how many of us have stopped the joy of singing because of the idea ‘we can’t sing…’
It is amazing how the tone of my voice changes according to the quality of the movements I make.
Yes, that is connected to the tone of our voices, our movements…i know when i’m joyful and feeling loving my movements are tender and flowing as is my voice which becomes silky and from the heart….even i enjoy my voice in expression.
I agree Suzanne, ‘it feels important to let go of comparison and let my own voice, my own unique expression evolve into what it naturally is.’ It seems so common in society that we compare ourselves to others and think someone is better than us in how they express, but we all have our own unique expression to bring to the world and they are all equally beautiful.
I totally agree Rebecca; and until we let go of comparison we won’t get to appreciate how amazing our own unique expressions are!!
Thanks for sharing your insight Suzanne. I feel this is a great statement to be shared again and with all. “I could feel right then how destructive and crippling comparison is, and is simply not needed; everyone’s individual expression together makes up the whole, just as each coral together make a reef”.
Thank you Suzanne for your deep honesty in this blog was beautiful to read. I agree it is time to appreciate and accept we all have our own unique expression.
Beautifully expressed Suzanne, it’s crippling to compare our-selves to others and the way they speak and express. The way you express is amazing the unique to you.
Our voices can tell us so much, the pitch, the tone, the words we use. I used to speak with a really high pitched voice and I still find when I am anxious it becomes higher again. I notice sometimes it will not be consistent and change throughout even one word. I also have compared/ judged myself and others with regards to the way we speak. As you say we are all here to express in our own way just like the multi colour coral.
I’ve spent most of my life trying to fit in with others, my family, my friends, never wanting to raise my head above the parapet and be true. It’s so freeing when you finally say : this is me – no excuses, no apologies.
I have for such a long time hated hearing my voice played back to me, be it on an answer machine or anything. I hear many people say the same. This article has inspired me to ponder why and supported me to see that it is because often times I am not letting my voice be a reflection of the true me. Lots of things are at play: wanting to fit in (I change the accent, rhythm and tone of my voice to match someone else’s), lack of trust in myself (another wanting to disappear into the crowd rather than simply express me), fear of rejection if I do not toe a party line and there is more, but if lots of us are doing one or all of the above then where is the richness of our unique and varied expressions (‘magnificently coloured corals’). Have we settled for grey uniformity as a mediocre comfy?
Just recently I have been supported by friends to realise that my voice is actually one of my greatest gifts and that in its quality is great stillness and grace. This has been a very beautiful wake up call. Right at my fingertips is a something that I can share freely every day, effortlessly. So, with appreciation and responsibility I am putting into practise spotting the times I modify my voice and then affording myself a little space and grace to let my voice by mine.
Beautiful Matilda, this is something I am gonna explore, this gift of my voice, because as you say I never like my voice when I hear it played back at me.
matildaclark, I too can relate to what you share. From very young I have alway hated my voice played back and never understood why it would sound different. But it makes sense now that, I have always not been reflecting my truth and therefore my voice has suggest adjusted to fit. But now I am getting my expression back, I am starting feel my true voice come through, at some point I am going to try a self recording.
Beautiful Suzanne thank you for sharing this so clearly and lovingly to feel. The wisdom to learn to let my own voice, my own unique expression evolve into what it naturally is is something I am learning in my life also and this resonates strongly. Our devine expression is what is needed and who we all truly are and it is bullding this that is bringing harmony and love with ourselves and everywhere.
Thank you Suzanne – you talk about a great subject and one that we generally pay little attention to. How we speak and how our voice comes across to another is so important and how something so small can affect our body. I know my body used to be very hard and the tone of my voice was hard. I can only share this as today I know there is a difference.
Once upon a time around 5 years ago, I attended a one day workshop where Serge Benhayon talked about “giving yourself permission to be the real you” or words to that effect. That was it – I immediately made the choice to be me with my voice that has a ‘common London accent” (so I am told). Gosh the relief of not having to be anyone else or sound like I am posh when I am clearly not was harmony to my body. My style has not changed and I find it easy as I am no longer pretending, trying or faking it. I accept more of me and how I write is how I talk and I really am not bothered what others think of me as I did in the past which was a big issue. As long as my expression in anyway is NOT harming anyone or anything then that works for me.
And it is always beautiful when someone speaks, being who they are. The accent just becomes a flavour that does not, cannot detract from our uniqueness.
I had the opposite thing going on to you. I was a very “proper” little girl, with an English accent – hilarious when you consider I grew up in suburban Sydney. At school I got teased for being posh, and “up myself”, so I learned to “slang it up” and put a lid on the way I naturally spoke.
Years later I recognised how much I had held my whole self back, trying not to be “up myself”.
Well, those days are over now and I speak the way that feels true to me.
I love listening to an accent when a person is just being themselves … it is like music!
Suzanne I can feel how letting go of comparison and truly letting ones own voice and own expression out is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves and society. It’s inspiring to read your appreciation on how each of us is unique like the coral but all equally glorious.
Thank you Suzanne, This blog is very timely for me. As I am only just now starting to appreciate the sound of my voice. I have spent a lifetime hating the sound of my voice, how sad is that !
Me too! When I heard myself talk on a recording I would wince and question if I sounded that bad to other people. It is awesome when we can give ourselves permission to be ‘ourselves’ and allow the appreciation, to acknowledge all that we are, including our precious voice.
Ooh, I can relate to that Alison, I remember that many many years ago, when I was doing a secretarial course, we had some speech lessons. I was quite upset when I heard the recording, was a very nervous, shy person and did not like my voice at all. I feel it affected me for many years after, I hated to voice an opinion on anything, was so withdrawn and yes, comparing myself with others who were more confident. In effect, I hated my voice and did not want to hear it at all, so played out scenarios in my head instead of what I would say. I have had some problems with my voice the past few months since a throat infection, a good deal of hoarseness at times, very interesting, much to be investigated now. I feel a lot coming up to be dealt with here.
Suzanne you have such a beautiful honesty and ability to self-reflect. With this brings such healing. As a practitioner I know a healing session is only as good as what the client is willing to bring. With your honesty and willingness to self-reflect you are your greatest practitioner and thank you as we all get to benefit from your observations.
Being the true me I’ve found is saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to the right things. So many things are worth staying completely away from whilst others are worth accepting and claiming completely. Discerning between these choices is the key to unleashing the true me that allows for my truest and unique expression.
This is great Matthew, looking back I used to be such a ‘yes man’ so learning to say no has been such a positive thing for me in the growth I have made as a person and a major improvement to my expression.
Great point Matthew. We actually know what to say yes and no to but I know at times it gets a little cloudy depending on the attachment I have to the job in hand. Really worth listening to my body and the truth it offers in all these situations.
The word ‘completely’ in your comment really stood out for me Matthew, its a straight choice between ‘yes’ and ‘no’, there are no maybe’s.
Suzanne, it is beautiful, what you shared here. I thought at what I experienced some days ago. We sat together in a group of 5 and told each other what we feel and experience, what everyone of the others bring to us (and the world). In expressing the appreciation to each other, and at the same time to ourselves for what we feel, our voices turned into a loving tone, like lovers have. That was beautiful to hear and feel. And than also we realized the beautiful variety of what everyone is and brings and that it does not make any sense to go into comparison in the face of this variety, completing one another in a divine way.
This is gorgeous Stefanie moments like this show us that when we do not hold back our expression, how graceful each of our expressions can be in the unique quality that they offer and at the same time how they are part of a one divine whole that blesses everyone equally.
There is such a difference resonance within me when I speak from me, rather than saying what I feel the world wants to here
I too can hear and feel the difference in the resonance when I speak. What I notice is the depth, clarity, and strength in my voice when I am just speaking from me. It is such a fantastic reflection to see where I am at.
Absolutely Joel, and I feel so much more content within myself when I’m expressing in a way that is completely true to me.
Yes I understand what you mean, it sounds very different to speak naturally that way.
Trying to be someone or something that we are not will cost amazing amounts of effort and energy – why not stop this and simply choose to be ourselves?
It’s worth dedicating your life to being yourself Michael.
Our voices are such amazing parts of our expression, and since they come from our body anything that will affect our body will affect our voice! I have felt for myself how my voice changes when I am stressed, or tired, or just simply trying to speak too loudly because I am in a big room or speaking to a group and want to be heard. At these times I can feel how my body tenses up and then my voice moves to a different part of my body. It can go to my throat, or up into my nose, and I sound funny even to myself.
But when I am with myself and feel connected to what I am saying as it comes forth from my body, my voice drops deep into my chest and I can feel my entire body vibrate with the words I speak. At those times I can truly feel the immense power that our voice is capable of being.
I agree, Naren. When I feel tension in my body, there is a harshness and shallowness to my voice and the pitch feels ‘squeezed’. However, when I am really ‘with myself’ and feel the rhythm and flow in my body there is a richness and almost exotic resonance to my voice, and I enjoy hearing myself.
Thank you Suzanne for an insightful blog into another part of our body and expression and one we are using all the time so super important to pay attention to. I am feeling and learning in myself that my voice can change instantly so is a great marker and chance to look further into what is happening in the rest of my body and the choice I am making in that moment.
I love the image of multicoloured coral. If all our expressions could be reflected in a colour what a beautiful thing it would be. Perhaps some of us would be a colour we have never seen before. We are all unique and all contributing to this beauty-full palette of colours.
Me too, Patricia! The coral image is beautiful.
How true Patricia, there is so much variety and uniqueness in all of us yet together we are so connected and similar.
What a beautiful discovery about voice, thank you for sharing. I love the analogy of the coral during your Esoteric Connective Tissue Therapy session. How awesome and true was that insight, that came from you, your body. What you have shared shows that more is being communicated when you actively listen and feel the quality of what is being spoken.
Beautiful Suzanne, ‘let my own voice evolve into what it naturally is’.
It is lovely to hear the deepening appreciation and acceptance of the uniqueness and loveliness of your own voice Suzanne. Comparison for me is such an undermining practice which just raises self-doubt and criticism.
Yes Jenny comparison is a killer.
So true Suzanne, we are all unique and made that way for a reason. Through our differences we each offer inspiration to another and collectively we have the opportunity to evolve together. Comparison is a sure way to stop us in our tracks, and in so doing, slow down not only our evolution but that of everyone around us.
It feels beautiful to know that we all have an unique expression and yet we are all the same. We can let go of any trying here and just be ourselves.
Ah there is such relief when I let go of trying and just be myself. There is just such an allowance then to express what I bring in my own unique way.
I know that the sound of my voice is directly connected to how I am feeling in my body. If I detect any tension or hardness in my voice it is a great opportunity to check in with my body and drop the tension.
“If I detect any tension or hardness in my voice it is a great opportunity to check in with my body and drop the tension.” – True, a great point you make here Rebecca Turner.
Yes Rebecca I agree. It is so beautiful to start to reflect on things like my voice feeling harsh or unnatural at times and see it as a little ‘heads up’ that I am not totally being myself or something is up.
I notice this too Rebecca. I have also noticed that the more I am connected to my body the deeper my voice becomes, it feels like my voice is coming from inside my body, and the opposite is true, when I am in my head, or feeling emotional, my voice becomes higher and I start to speak faster and faster. Our voice is a very good indicator of where we are at!
Great observation Sandra. I have found my voice is a great indicator of where I am at with myself. Super revealing and great to observe.
Me too Sandra, I love that my voice is honest with me, to the point of first getting squeaky, and then pretty much disappearing if I get too carried away, intense or lost in meetings. OK, so I come out with no voice, but at least there is absolutely no denying what is going on; I cant pretend that I am going OK.
Feels beautiful that the body is always communicating the truth back to us through these messages and all we have to do is to ‘listen’ to what it is saying.
This is true for me also Rebecca. So great to build an awareness of this as our voice can act as an ever present marker and reflection of how we are in any given moment. These reflections are such great opportunities for learning and growth when paid attention to.
Suzanne re-reading this, and I would say ‘coral blog’ because i love the symbology of this so much, found these words offered such freeness and acceptance reflecting on my own voice and how it sounds: “I realise now that it makes no sense at all to try to be like another: it feels important to let go of comparison and let my own voice, my own unique expression evolve into what it naturally is”. Agree doesn’t make any sense to want to be like another, but instead to accept ourselves in our uniqueness.
I have just re-read this blog and, like Zofia, have had the same deepening of awareness that it “doesn’t make any sense to want to be like another, but instead to accept ourselves in our uniqueness”.
So true Jonathan and Zofia.
When we try to copy someone the result will at best be a copy, but accepting and living our uniqueness will bring out and show the unique masterpiece that each of us truly is.
There is so much freedom when we accept that we are unique in our own expression and that we don’t have to try and match up to being like another. I know as I have started to claim this more it is quite a relief not to have to be anyone else but me.
Agreed Zofia, there is no sense in trying to be like anybody else.
Feeling the resonance that comes with our voice when we speak from our heart, our whole body, full and true, is a beautiful thing – so expansive and full of love.
When living and showing what we are naturally designed to be, and deeply appreciating it, we will live the maximum of our power and joy.
I was reflecting recently on how my wife and I sometimes come from different angles on things and bring a reflection or expression that is perfectly complementary because it is often exactly the missing piece that each other needs to hear or feel. I must confess though I don’t always see it that way in the heat of the moment!
“I realise now that it makes no sense at all to try to be like another: it feels important to let go of comparison and let my own voice, my own unique expression evolve into what it naturally is.” Working with Chris James over the years has enabled me to develop my own true voice – which continues to unfold. If I try to copy another it doesn’t ring true, because that isn’t coming from my true self. The expression programme, facilitated by Simone Benhayon, has been another great way for me to learn to practise my true expression.
‘…there are times when my outward expression, namely my voice, doesn’t always match the gentleness that I feel inside.’
Thank you for sharing this – it has made me pause and consider this very thing – that there are times when I dull down how tender I feel just by the harshness of my voice! Wow – a brilliant reflection to start the day with
A great sharing Suzanne. So often we alter our vocal expression to suit what is going on around us. In connection to our body we are able to feel when we are not expressing in alignment with how we truly feel. As I have re-connected to my body more, I may sometimes say something and reallise that it is not how I really feel at all. Over time I have been watching this one and checking for when I do the nodding along in a conversation when I actually don’t feel it to be true. Here the practice has been to express that which I feel in the knowing that my true and unique expression adds a beautiful colour to the all.
Thank you Suzanne for bringing awareness to something I have recently been noticing but not fully acknowledging – I am looking forward to playing with noticing and feeling my voice at work today.
Absolutely Brendan, the qualities we have are so needed to be shared in the world. I have been realising how much everyone misses out when I do not bring my grace to situations.
And how gorgeous your expression is Suzanne. I have fallen for this one many many times, and when I do try and sound like someone else I feel exhausted afterwards and totally disconnected from the person I was putting on a voice to. Its quite silly when you break it down, if someone wants to hear from you… why would we give them something we are not!? How confusing it is for children growing up, knowing how their parents express and then hearing a completely different voice coming out around certain people.
Isn’t it true that in verbal expression, very often when we hear how we sound like, we are surprised or shocked. This reaction keeps us from truly hearing and feeling how we have chosen to express.
Very often I do not like to hear myself speak. Not only is it because it is unfamiliar compared to expression in other ways, but also because the more I give in to this unfamiliar feeling, the more it is harder to speak.
And holding onto that it is hard, continues to build the momentum of an expression that is not true–silence included.
Indeed how much we can truly hear from our expressions, and how honest we have to, as you have shared with us Suzanne, consistently be to express in truth.
Great insights about your voice Suzanne and how it can reveal a lot about how we value our own expression. I’ve learned through years of workshops with Chris James that if I cannot feel my voice resonating through my whole body then I am not expressing with all of me. When we chose to bring our own unique expression out, be it with voice or our body, then we offer everyone around us a choice of expansion. We are expressing in every moment, so it is our responsibility to express from truth.
A beautiful blog Suzanne. The ‘choral’ is also the choir of our collective expression.
Having on occasions experienced the absolute joy when a choir is in complete alignment and singing as one voice, I can attest that it is ‘spine-tingling’. I can really relate to your analogy that “the ‘choral’ is also the choir of our collective expression”. Love it!
I love this Suzanne” the individual ways in which we express are all equally significant and valid – indeed it is crucial that there is a variety.” So very true and hence I agree comparison is not needed in fact it is the killer of unique expression.
We all bring our own unique flavour in expression and it is something worth appreciating and accepting in ourselves in whichever way it is presented.
Yes indeed, it is like the colours of the rainbow, each individual colour makes up the glory of the whole. Comparison just stunts everything doesn’t it? imagine if the blue wanted to be like the purple, what if it tried to change its natural essence to be more purple and we lost blue altogether? what if other colours felt equally inadequate and followed suit? Not a rainbow anymore!!! Stand tall and strong and shine brightly in your own expression. Thank you for your reminder Suzanne.
Thank you Suzanne, this is a beautifully supportive reminder for me. All to often I have held my voice back in times it’s called for. I can feel how in doing so I am not expressing, to not express is to not let out the light I am – and a little more colour is drained from the world – this can not be.
I recently facilitated a workshop for a class of 17 year old boys. At the start I was a bit shy because I put myself under the pressure of being a good presenter and having something to teach them. As a result my voice became thin and small. I had to push extra hard to project my voice. When I settled down into the workshop and just allowed myself to be me and equal with the participants, it became natural and easy. I just presented what there was to present and my voice became rounded and easy to project without force.
A beautiful appreciation of a stop moment and invitation presented by your body to honour the quality you hold within and become aware of the moments your outward expression does not match this. A brilliant insight that presents an invitation to all of us…thank you, Suzanne.
I love the insight you’ve shared that when we compare ourselves to others or even to an ideal we’ve created, we then judge ourselves and this hardness is expressed through our voice and in what we say, think and do.
I’ve felt how hard I’ve been on myself and how I’ve stiffened my body and my voice. It used to be very obvious in that whole sentences were clumsy and muddled. The more I stay in my body and am there supporting myself not criticising the more I can feel just how gentle and lovely my voice is.
It’s not just about the words it’s my whole body and voice expressing what I’m saying.
I train to express my true voice since years now by the wonderful work of Chris James. This turned my life around. To really feel that every word I say is even healing or harming is really empowering and it can let me shy away from saying something at all… but this does not work because we express all the time – with or without words. We are always radiate the energy we are in. So, if I want it or not: I have a Voice! With this realization I decided to not fool myself any longer with the idea of I cut hide my expression and I claimed what I am in truth, accepted & appreciated what I am and then went on stage and sang for public…. I did know in this moment that what I presented was serving all. I did not do it to produce myself. I did it to share the beauty & grace of God witch I am reflecting and to inspire others to do so as well. It was and is an empowering statement to shine our light in full. I did and do it on stage and I work on to do so 24/7 on the stage of life.
It is a joyful responsibility to shine our light, to voice in our unique expression and I celebrate everyone how start to do so.
Celebrate, Celebrate, Celebrating our Way!
Beautiful comment Sandra – to express ‘to share the beauty and grace of God.’ Imagine a world in which we all express in this way.
Sandra what you have written is very gorgeous. That you realised we are always expressing with or without words, and you chose to “share the beauty & grace of God” and “inspire others to do so as well”. This is what is reflected to me by Suzanne’s example of the diverse and magnificence colours in the reef: every one of us expressing in our fullness the beauty and grace of God that is within us.
‘I realised the harshness I feel is because the communication isn’t from me, it isn’t the true me’, this is great to re-read and be aware if how Iam talking, if it feels forceful or harmonious and easy, they are very different qualities. I can feel growing up how I stoped using my true voice and started using a more aggressive voice, which didn’t match my tenderness, I could feel this falseness and so then withdrew and didn’t speak much, I am now learning to use my true, sweet voice and not be afraid of this.
I notice when I am rushing, my voice is more high pitched, there is a feeling of nervous tension, and the words are blurted out.
Whereas when I am connected with me, my voice sounds deeper, my body feels more spacious and there is an effortless flow to my words.
Thanks Suzanne, having just completed a road show for workshops, I ended up with a sore throat and YES…it was absolutely about my expression and the degree to which I was relying on memory or my lived experience.
I have started to notice more, how my voice changes depending on if my body is under stress, tension or in a more joyful state.
Our voices change in so many ways for us to observe what’s gong on in the body, when we honour ourselves the time and awareness to observe this.What a fantastic re-read to connect with.
A long time ago at a Universal Medicine event, Serge Benhayon shared that when we are connected to our innermost,we feel everything we sense – be it hearing, taste, touch, sight or smell. This gave me an understanding of how we can truly pick up what is being expressed by another, in its energetic quality and whether clear or anything being masked. The ongoing connection to feeling everything in life is a deeply enriching process, that requires just as much attention to how I am receiving and interpreting information as much as how others are communicating.
Rereading your blog I realized how comparison is a game which confirms us in being not enough or not good enough and how harmful this energy is. Our voice is a great tool for our unique expression and the appreciation of this expression.
Once we all start singing in our true voice (and that can be with or without audible sound), there won’t be space for evil amongst men. As I start singing my Soul’s song, a whole new coral reef grows around me, my friends, family and loved ones to equal beauty.
Suzanne, as you so beautifully expressed, we all have our very own way of expression, being the way we voice something, how we move, or how we express on paper. When we express from our truth there is an amazing power that comes with that expression.
We cannot grow into something we are not naturally designed to be – as hard as we may try.
Finding a way back to ourselves and our essence and growing from an with it will let incredible beauty and a magical life unfold. A life full of wonders and true care – for ourselves and every one else.
Our voice is a great indicator of how we are living and what we are choosing. If I am feeling strained or tense in my thoughts and body then this comes through my voice instantly – I cannot hide the fact.
I can agree with you SusanG and it is not only my voice that has changed its rhythm and pitch but also the words I use. I am sometimes surprised what words do actually come out of my mouth when I have gone into any old form of self. The words that I unconsciously choose are not who I truly am but are protecting the hurts that I have not dealt with.
I know exactly what you meannvanhaastrecht. And I feel very different in my body when I speak from my Soul or when I speak to protect and defend myself in any way.
Very true susanG – my voice instantly reflects how I am feeling on the inside.
Absolutely. No hiding when we afford ourselves the grace to truly listen to our voices and the quality they emanate.
Suzanne, thank you for a timely blog. I have been aware for some when I hear and feel myself speak that something is often ‘off’. It just doesn’t seem to be ‘me’ that is using my voice and it seems forced and/or false. I have also been prone to sore throats over the years but didn’t see them as offering me golden opportunities to better understand this aspect of my expression. You have provided me with plenty of material to reflect on …
Suzanne, I love this to bits! You’ve expressed so beautifully all that I feel also, about my own expression, it’s harsh quality at times, the sore throat that reminds me to always express as me in truth…yet, it’s your coral analogy I love the most. It is crucial there is variety in our expressions and comparison is a futile and self-defeating exercise. How long have I held myself back in reaction from feeling others express truly and compared myself to them thinking I wasn’t good enough to express like that? How hard was I on myself to prove that I was?! All along my unique expression has been waiting ever so patiently for me to let go of the destructive energy that is judgement and comparison to just accept in me being me as me with me. A lovely return it really is.
My voice is often a marker of my connection with myself. The quite, almost whispering voice, sometimes husky that I here when expressing from contraction. When I am giving my power away. The squeaky voice that i hear occasionally that comes from anxiety. When I hear the sound of my voice and it is husky, squeaky or contracted I know there is something for me to look at. Something that is stopping me from expressing from who I truly am. I am hearing the sound of these voices less often and I am starting to hear a voice that is clear and sharp. A voice that I am starting to recognize as my voice, a voice that I like hearing. A voice that is my true expression.
Our voice is a reflection of who we are. It is a microcosm of our macrocosm, and it is amazing to have this awareness, and to move from unconscious expression to allowing who we truly are to be expressed, and expressing with all that we are.
Listening to my voice and how I express reveals very clearly what energy I am using, whether I am present with myself or whether it is a like a puppet repeating all the old CD’s of the past yet again. If we are living in our true presence and so are expressing from our unique selves, then our voices will be clear and whatever we say ring true; and that expression will be playful and deep, light and gentle, powerful and from love. It is amazing how much we can learn from our tone of voice and delivery.
Indeed these old CD’s…. I recently noticed how these can pop up as old timers like: where have I heard this story before?! It is quite interesting to realize these are just repetitions of ideas of ourselves based on memories and/or ideals. What a difference it is to talk from the body and what is occurring in the here and now. My voice is different.
“My insight in that moment was that our expressions are like that coral – they appear very different to one another but are all equally unique and gorgeous in their own way.” What a beautiful insight to have Suzanne and it does not just apply to our voice but to every form of expression – the way we move, the way we dress, the rhythms we choose to support us, the food we eat, how much we choose to be aware of and so on. We are all unique expressions from the same divine essence.
Indeed we are Anne and when we realise this truth and accept and embrace our own beautiful unique selves, it really doesn’t, as Suzzanne expressed “… make any sense at all to try to be like another”.
Hello Anne McRitchie, it’s great to appreciate the so called ‘differences’ we have as people as them being “all unique expressions from the same divine essence”. In this way it feels like we appreciate ourselves and what we bring but also appreciate everyone else in the same way. It is a great way to look at everything that also brings in a natural balance.
Beautifully said Anne, and how did we get fooled into thinking that we needed to be anything other than this ” We are all unique expressions from the same divine essence”.
Great Blog Suzanne and really highlights for me the true difference I have when I speak quickly and rush to when I listen and speak my truth. It becomes a lot more clear and powerful. Thank you.
Suzanne I have noticed harshness can come into my voice when I am trying to speak with authority and not claimed in that authority.
The world truly needs us–everyone of us. For if anyone in the world is not expressing in their unique expression, there will never be wholeness in the world.
We are this important.
Every one of our unique expression is deeply impactful and needed. There is no complete picture with anyone missing.
We are truly this important.
Yes well said, we are all truly important and it is very important for us to connect to our real and true expression, so we express the love we are with all we are. When we do, we bring much needed clarity, truth and healing. Our voices magnify the love of God we hold in our hearts and when we claim it, we all have a beautiful voice.
This is beautiful what you have written, I agree every single person is equally important as the next. There is no complete picture with anyone missing.
Super beautiful comment – ‘there is no complete picture with anyone missing’ – we are all in this together, pieces of a jigsaw that support the whole, thank you, Vicky.
Hello VIcky Cooke, a simple yet so revealing comment that should make any of us stand up and take notice, “There is no complete picture with anyone missing”. So we can go on irresponsibly thinking it’s only about us, or our family, our friends etc. But clearer and clearer it is coming through that it is in fact about all of us together, “every single person is equally important as the next”. Imagine if the world held this as true, where would we be? Thank you Vicky Cooke.
yes Vicky and Matilda, not one person missing. I love the jigsaw puzzle – when all linked in our unique beautiful ways we create one big picture. Brotherhood.
Indeed Adele. Our unique expressions are the pieces in the big puzzle of human life. Only if each piece becomes visible, there will be a complete picture.
Yes – this is an important point to note. So many of us are so self dismissive. If we but knew the importance we each play in the bigger picture we would not be so quick to judge ourselves but would be much more self appreciative and honouring. The importance of raising the next generation in this way cannot be underestimated. To teach my children not to hold back their expression is not simply a gift for them, but a gift for society and humanity as a whole.
‘We are truly this important’ – every single one of us, every single grain of sand – this is the beauty and urgency of our responsibility. Thank you, 1heart1love1earth.
Beautifully expressed Suzanne, thank you. You have shared an insight with me that has brought more of my own awareness to the fact that I hold a lot of judgement on my voice and a set of pictures of what I think my expression should look or be like. When I feel timid or not powerful in my voice, I don’t feel like that is me, but rather than see this as a learning and an opportunity to ask what pictures or comparisons are there; I often resort to a hardness on myself for the way in which I expressed. Looking at the why, brings a lot of clarity that is very healing for our development. Thank you again.
Suzanne, It is amazing what listening to our voices can tell us. This week I felt that I heard my true voice for the first time. I spoke and instantly felt the quality that I expressed in. It felt so clear and claimed. I now have a marker of the quality of my expression in my voice.
We each have this unique quality to share with everyone.
Yes Denise I can relate to what you share here in regards to hearing your true voice. I get glimpses at times of what my true voice is and it is super powerful. I can feel in my voice at times where the tones I use are a means of protection.
“I can feel in my voice at times where the tones I use are a means of protection.” – As I read your comment Donna Gianniotis, I can feel that I do this too.
“I understood that the individual ways in which we express are all equally significant and valid – indeed it is crucial that there is a variety.” So true Suzanne. Each of us unique beings make up the whole, which, when we work together in love can be glorious.
I love this Sue, “Each of us unique beings make up the whole, which, when we work together in love can be glorious.” and so true.
I notice the harshness in my voice at times when i am expressing and realise that this feels like an old pattern that doesn’t belong to me. I am grateful for that awareness and to allow my own voice my own expression to come through.
I notice this too Susan. And all I have to do to let my natural voice come through is to drop the harshness that is covering it. It is naturally there underneath.
So true Rebecca I am learning to be present and aware of the harshness in my voice. Instead of going into judgment and criticism of myself, I am staying re-connected, able to drop the harshness and allow my authentic self to speak.
The disconnect for me feels like it is not me talking. I am an observer of words that are harsh and cold. Beautifully orchestrated, that awareness in that moment sets me up with a choice: quick change back to connection and me, or let the weird puppetry play out. A no-brainer of course but one that requires practise as old habits cling on.
The other thing that occurs to me also is to note that verbal expression and communication is just one aspect of expression, though often I tend to think it’s where expression stops and starts. But expression relates to how we are with everything and anything in any given moment… which leaves the comparison door open even wider. The sooner we can accept and rejoice in who we are and feel confident in expressing that on every level, the better.
Yes Victoria, our voice is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to expression.
By claiming and bringing out our unique expression without comparison, we are supporting the equality we all come from – great revelation, thank you Suzanne.
Absolutely Kate Chorley. This is as true music in my ears.
Yes, and to mine
Great insights Suzanne, thank you. I suffered with sore throats for years and years, since I was a young child but thankfully now only rarely since I started working with my Universal Medicine-trained practitioners. I did however manifest a thyroid condition two years ago, which although is very much about other choices I’ve made throughout my life, is still obviously centred in the throat. Expression is so big for so many us and a hard nut to crack – especially the holding back part!
But very possible, Victoria, as we well know!
My voice has always been a great marker of how i am.
It was not until i began to listen to my body with more awareness that i now see how truthful a voice can be. The more we unburden ourselves with self criticism, comparison & low self esteem, underneath lies the purity of our true voice.
And how often is it that it is not so much what we say, but the tone of voice we say it in, is what causes people offence. Bringing attention not only to what we say but to our voice, could really change our relationships.
When sitting in large groups of people I know and there is interactive discussion, I love taking a moment to tune into the voice without having to look and “see” who it is that is speaking. Its a game I play with myself, to see how attuned I am to a person’s vibration – which is conveyed in their voice.
Such a beautiful and inspiring metaphor of our individual expression and gorgeousness together and as a whole….and so supportive in healing any comparison when the magnificence of each is deeply appreciated.
Yes, to appreciate ourselves and others takes away even the possibility of comparison.
It seems right from young we are trained into comparison and competition. Yet whenever I have engaged with that game I have felt sad and lonely afterwards, as if the whole experience alienated me from everyone and from my own joy. And when I have been in a situation when each of us was inspired to shine, the result was unity and joy.
Very astute when you say: “I realise now that it makes no sense at all to try to be like another: it feels important to let go of comparison and let my own voice, my own unique expression evolve into what it naturally is.”
This is a very interesting way of looking at the expression of our voices Suzanne. I too often hear the harshness in my voice and compare it with other family members. I also stop and feel what energy I’m in.
‘I could feel right then how destructive and crippling comparison is, and is simply not needed; everyone’s individual expression together makes up the whole, just as each coral together make a reef.’ I can so relate to this Suzanne, I have spent a lot of time in my life deciding that what I would like to say is not significant or ‘smart’ enough and have chosen to hold it back. I too am learning that we are all equally needed to make up the whole.
I love how unifying this blog is, and the sense of equality it brings.
Me too … all comparison must end for everybody’s sake.!
Like coral in a reef, we grow together and support each other in that, yet stay individuals. A reef will grow strongest when all corals grow constantly. Let’s grow constantly like the corals, stand together as closely and be nourished by what the tides of time bring to us.
I admire the depth of truth and honesty you have been prepared to go to , to write this blog.
Just the other day a little girl told me how she changes her voice so her friends will like her more.
She was really clear that she liked these other children and wanted to play with them but could feel they didn’t like her the same so she knew ”she had to talk more like them so they would play with her”. I asked her how she manages to change her voice and she said ” easy, I just eat sugar because that makes me different to me”
I sat there in awe listening to the absolutely gorgeous honesty in this child and we all shared how lovely it felt in our bodies just listening to her talking in her real voice.
Comparison is indeed destructive and crippling. We all have our own unique expression. It makes no sense to compare.
Oh and I am currently experiencing a sore throat and losing my voice. When I stopped for a moment to connect with what my body was saying with this, I realised my body was releasing the trauma of not having been speaking with my delicateness, instead there has been a tendency to speak with a hardness. This is an amazing clearing of the old way and making space for me to now embrace speaking with more of me and my natural delicateness. YAY!
I can relate to that Robyn, the hardness. It’s so interesting how our voices mirror what we are holding on to or reacting to.
Yes, I agree Victoria. I am really loving the opportunity to really focus on how I feel in my body when I speak due to not having much of a voice at the moment. How my body feels when I don’t strain my voice and how I feel when I allow my delicateness to be expressed though my voice. Lots being felt that is for sure.
Great sharing Suzanne It reminded me of a message I got some 10 years ago when my hip started to give trouble and I was pondering on what was going on for me that was causing this loss of flexibility. The message I felt I was getting from my body was that if I didn’t walk my own walk then eventually I would not be able to walk at all. And sure enough the problem got worse until I started to seriously shed all the ideals I held of how I ‘should be’. With great support from my sessions with Curtis Benhayon | Universal Medicine Practitioner I am now able to walk my own walk. This is a bit like talking one’s own talk.
Thanks Suzanne for this great blog. I remember growing up not liking the sound of my own voice. Looking back now I realise it is because it didn’t really sound like me instead it sounded hollow. Recently I heard a recording of my voice and it was so different. I was able to feel me in my voice, instead of hollowness there was tenderness, rawness and loveliness.
I love the simplicity of this blog Suzanne but how profound what you present is. I know the feeling of a strain or struggle in my voice and it is as you’ve said, when I’m not being me. This sentence sums it all up beautifully “I understood that the individual ways in which we express are all equally significant and valid – indeed it is crucial that there is a variety”
I love this sharing Suzanne, It is incredible how much or how little my expression can change through the contact of others and that is all down to not feeling confident in my expression in the first place, leaving myself susceptible to change for others. I find the way that I talk, when I really hear what I sound like, can act as such a prominent marker for the confidence and quality of the way I have been living
“I could feel right then how destructive and crippling comparison is, and is simply not needed; everyone’s individual expression together makes up the whole, just as each coral together make a reef.” Such a beautiful analogy Suzanne. We altogether make up the whole, yet each of us is unique. Note to self; No comparison necessary.
“I could feel right then how destructive and crippling comparison is, and is simply not needed; everyone’s individual expression together makes up the whole” So true Suzanne what a great realisation. The world needs our own unique expression when we hold this back we can fall into comparison and jealousy as we know we are not living our truth.
I love what you share here and how our bodies are always letting us know what is really going on.
I have loved reading the blog and comments and will be more aware of how my voice sounds and feels. What I have noticed is that if I hold back or do not say everything I want to say, I will get a sore right tonsil. On most occasions it will go quickly if I realise what I have done and why.
That’s magical, isn’t it? If we listen to the subtle cues from our bodies we can sometimes heal without needing to go through a much longer physical process.
The old expression ‘Did you hear what you were saying’ normally in a state of misbelief; those words were never uttered after someone who was speaking the truth. So, where did those words come from?
Imagine all of us would have ‘one voice’ and when we are in harmony we have this harmonious sound in our voice which unifies everyone.
Our voice and what it sounds like is a great marker. I know instantly if I’m not with me, it’s like it is impossible to hide with speaking.
I feel this too Matthew, ‘I know instantly if I’m not with me, it’s like it is impossible to hide with speaking.’ If i feel a bit annoyed or in reaction it comes out in my voice, however nice im trying to make it sound, my partner and son pick up on this straight away.
That is true Matthew, there is no hiding when we speak. In connection my voice comes from a deeper place and when I am not in connection it sometimes wants to catch a train. Even if we try to speak in a kind way when we are actually upset about something, we can feel and hear it in our voice.
Thank you Suzanne. I have noticed how much deeper, and more naturally powerful my voice is when I feel very connected to my body. I find at these times i can actually enjoy my voice and what I offer others when I speak. At other times, when I feel a degree of tension in my body, my voice sounds different, held back and it is uncomfortable to speak. I hand’t really explored how this relates to comparison but am sure there is a component of this in the tension I feel and why it has built up, well before I go to speak, so great to explore this further.
I feel that too Simon, the way my voice can resonate when I’m connected and not feel right when I’m not.
Great Article! Thank you for sharing. For me, expression is something that is ever evolving, involves whole body (not just throat) and there is a feeling of freedom and fullness in delivery.
Great blog Suzanne highlighting how each and every one of our own unique expressions is essential to the bigger picture and that comparison is the greatest of squashers!
I enjoyed reading your blog Suzanne, thank you. I have also struggled with my vocal expression in my life, often comparing myself unfavourably with others and holding back my expression. I shall remember the different’ magnificently coloured coral ‘ that you write about as a metaphor for our ‘own unique expression’. I also found your blog and other comments very helpful on how true expression feels in the body. I shall enjoy practising being more aware of whether I am expressing from my body or my head.
If I live in a different place for long enough I pick up a different accent, especially if it helps me get understood. If it’s a foreign place I even pick up a new language. They are all the true me. My voice is forever evolving.
Comparison is crippling. I was under the illusion that I was not good enough because I could not engage in intellectual conversation about legal matters. I seemed to be surrounded by brilliant minds and I made myself less because I thought I could not contribute to the conversation. Now I am starting to appreciate the depth and beauty of what I can offer and I am finding my voice again. I realize now, as you did Suzanne, “the individual ways in which we express are all equally significant and valid”.
It’s gorgeous isn’t it Sandra when we find our voices again though appreciating the uniqueness of expression that we all bring!
Well said Sandra and Rachel we are divine in our own unique expression … which is naturally beautiful and perfect for us and everyone as it is. No trying to match up with anyone else’s anything. I’m discovering just simply leave them to do what they do. If I’m trying and giving my power away by any form of comparing I can’t be discerning if what they are expressing is the absolute truth or not. They could be repeating similar behavior trying to keep up with their own illusion. All creating un-needed complication, much simpler just to say how I feel in the first place. And then my body and entire well being and the reflection this has on others is free of imposition and tension.
I love your blog Suzanne. Comparison sure is destructive and crippling. Diversity reigns supreme. We can grow up aping and mimicking each other as a game which some of us are naturally good at and I guess become real life actors. As I have got older I have tried to isolate just the one real me.
Thank you Suzanne for this inspiring blog. I have often wondered why my voice felt so different in different situations – now I can grasp that this voice I have been irritated about simply did not sound like mine, because I was not me then. Simple :o)
I began to notice that when I held back from expressing something, wanted to speak but didnt or told myself I didnt have anything valid to say, in effect stifling myself, I would get a lump in my throat like a golf ball sitting there. It felt awful, like food stuck in my throat. This has eventually cleared with the commitment to be more loving and less judgemental with myself so if it happens now I am aware of it before it can fully lodge itself there again. “She/he loves the sound of her/his own voice” is often a disparaging remark made to someone who talks too much or is a bit arrogant with it. However when I speak now from the tender and loving place I know to be truly me, I do find that I love the sound of my own voice! It feels like a gentle vibration through out my whole body. Equally, I love the sound of another’s voice when they are speaking from that deep connection to their unique selves with no reservation. It hums in the heart.
Beautiful Suzanne, I feel inspired to pay closer attention to the sound of my own voice, and what I am expressing, and if this is a true reflection of what I am feeling.
Me too mccannelizabeth – the sound of my voice is a great marker of how I feel and the quality that I’m in in that moment, a great example of this is how when I feel let down, frustrated or annoyed with others my voice becomes very cold and harsh.
I agree Susie, the frustration and annoyance that can occur often causes me to speak or bark in a very hard and cutting way as if I am trying to make these people pay for the way I feel. This way of expressing makes me feel quite alone compared to when I express freely in a supportive way when I am feeling great.
Often people will make a comment about someone ‘loving the sound of their own voice’, referring to someone being arrogant or ‘up themselves’. Rather than continue to buy into that, let’s turn it around. Why wouldn’t I want to love the sound of my own voice? What’s more, I’d rather be ‘up myself’ than down on myself!
I hear you Susie! What interesting instruments our voices are… instruments that can be wielded in any number of ways, from the blunt, harsh and cutting to the exquisitely delicate and tender. You could say we all have a pretty good range –opera singers move over!
Yes mccannelizabeth, a great inspiration and reminder that the sound of our voice can tell us where we are at and expose what is going on on the inside.
Since first reading your blog, Suzanne, I have been reflecting on the times when I use a different voice for different people or different occasions, and that these voices are false, rather like wearing masks, and conceal my true voice. Probably this is to protect myself, or to cover up my lack of confidence. However, I know when I am living true to me and appreciating all that I am, my voice comes out true too, and it is much more resonant and deeply felt in my body. So the false voices, when I catch myself using them, are a great way of recognising when I am separating from myself and I can become aware of what is going on.
Years ago someone pointed out to me I used different voices for different situations – a work voice and a non-work voice in particular. I had no idea – and it took me a long time to realise it was true. As I’ve attended presentations with Serge Benhayon I’ve learnt to be the real me and, as I have, my voice has become more consistent and authentic too. The gap between any persona I might adopt and the true me is much, much narrower and the personas are no longer needed either.
Thank you for sharing this Suzanne. As I read this I was pondering on my voice and the realisation that while I don’t think my voice is ever particularly harsh – the way I say things can be and does not reflect the tenderness that I usually feel. This is something I will continue to ponder on to establish why this is inconsistency with my expression and who I am has come to exist and why I feel reluctant to express the tenderness that I feel.
Great blog Suzanne, I have stifled my true expression all of my life; but thanks to the teachings of Serge Benhayon I am opening up to allowing the true me to express. I love that fact that we each have our own unique expression.
I love that too Lynda. We have our own unique expression and it is gorgeous watching people open up and allow this true expression through.
Me too Lynda to the point where it was making me ill. From the teachings of Serge Benhayon I am turning this round and am learning to express myself and my truth which has turned around my health.
Since being more aware of my voice and the realisation the impact this has not just on myself but others who listen to me when I’m expressing – the quality and tone changes considerably with how I’m feeling at the time. In the past if I have lost my voice because of a sore throat or a constant tickle did I really appreciate the wonderful gift of speech and communication. Being ‘without’ really brings the focus back to appreciating these gifts and to take more care of how we live and self nurture. Thank you Suzanne a great blog to return too.
When I am talking with my real voice it resonates through my chest and is quite low, my speech flows, when I am emotional or trying to be someone I’m not it goes into my throat, feels restricted and higher, jerky with words. It’s fascinating when you start to notice these things. Great blog Suzanne.
I can relate to this too. How awkward we can be and sound when we’re not truly ourselves. Nerves will do it too – when we’re feeling anxious about needing to sound a certain way or ‘perform’. In other words, living outside of ourselves in that moment.
Currently I have a sore throat too and I can fully relate to what you write Suzanne Anderssen. I also can feel harshness in my voice and in the occasions I do feel that I can also feel that what I say is not me, but from a guard I have put in front of me to protect my hurts. From this I have to take conscious choices to stop this way of expression and to allow myself to feel why I have the tendency to react like that and from there to heal the hurts that are the underlaying causes of this way of reacting. That is the responsibility I have to all people I live with.
I find it really amazing to listen to my voice and I now always notice when I notice it doesn’t sound like me. The more I pay attention the more I can glean from the sound of my voice. When it resonates deeply through my whole body and I can feel expansion when I speak, I know I am connected to me. It still makes me laugh a bit when I speak out loud and it is so noticeably not the voice I am now used to – great reflection for taking stock of where I am at!
I am touched by listening what kind of information comes through the quality of the voice, its tone and flow. I agree Suzanne, listening to one’s own voice can be very healing.
I love the way you describe this with coral Suzanne. We often hear a lot about disasters with toxic spills that affect the environment. What I understand here is that to compare ourselves to other people and express in a way that is not our true nature is a massive poison and a pollution that we are only just beginning to realise the scale of. So heres to you and your beautiful expression, long may it flower.
“…to compare ourselves to other people and express in a way that is not our true nature is a massive poison and a pollution…” Love this Joseph!
Yes, me too! Seeing dead coral feels such a waste when coral is so vibrant and alive. The beauty is that when its not being poisoned it grows back as if it were never poisoned.
It hurts to not speak the truth that we are – literally so! You’ve got to love our bodies for s-p-e-l-l-i-n-g this out for us.
Haha, I agree Liane. How can we expect to not get a sore throat when we don’t say the things we feel to say.
Great point, a sore throat is a great reflection to remind us, are we speaking up, and speaking the truth.
I agree Amita. I had an experience the other day when I was sat in a coffee shop, and could see a little boy and his mother looking at the bottled drinks on the way out. For a moment I imagined what I would do if they where to pick up a drink without paying and walk out. And I realised my first reaction would be to speak up, and yet something about me hesitated – it made me ask myself why I had a problem speaking up in the face of something wrong, why wasn’t I confident enough to call out what isn’t true. Although is was a hypothetical scenario, it really expressed my lack of confidence speaking the truth.
Beautifully said, and so true Liane.
Yes Liane, absolutely. Our bodies don’t let us get away with anything…thank God!
I too have so often allowed myself to be influenced by those around me, taking on different accents and ways of expressing, depending where I was and who I was with. Knowing and trusting that I am enough, just as I am has helped me to claim ‘me’, more and more. I can also relate to what you shared about the voice sounding harsh or insensitive when you speak, and this not necessarily reflecting the feeling on the inside. However, if expression is everything, in truth our voice will and does reflect how we feel. Thank you Suzanne for bringing this awareness.
I have held back expressing many times through my life, sometimes because there seemed no space for me to express what I felt to say. Comparison is such a detrimental thing to do, there will always someone who has more talent, wisdom or ability in some area of Life, that doesn’t mean we need to feel we don’t have wisdom to share, we are just uniquely ourselves and our sharing is just as important. Thank you Suzanne for your expression.
Totally love this Suzanne, I have recently been experienced similar with my own voice and have committed to allowing my true voice to express.
True Suzanne, that comparison and judgment are very destructive. I was once in a situation at school where teachers separated me from the choir to put me up front as an example of excellence in singing. I was terribly aware that they were making the other students feel the comparison, feel lesser if they could not ‘come up to standard’. Not long after that my throat became infected – my voice box of course, and the infection raged for a couple of months. After that I was unable to sing and was afraid to even get up in front of people just to speak. Well that put an end to comparison in singing! But I felt sad that I could no longer sing because I loved that feeling of group harmony in song. And worse, I was too embarrassed to even try, having judged myself as a terrible singer. It’s since I came to the work of Serge Benhayon that I have slowly been regaining my voice in a new way, and can now speak on stage from just being me. Singing might be a bit further down the track, but it’s on the way!
Interesting story Dianne, thank you for sharing this. I remember that feeling as a child, at times doing something well or better than the others around me. Although it did give me a feeling of elation it did not hide how awful it truly felt as I put myself into comparison to them. Comparison is simply a poison and a pointless behaviour that only serves to impede our evolution back to harmony and brotherhood, our natural way of being.
Yes Suzanne, to be completely free to express without any hesitation is a marvelous experience and way to live.
Comparison really is crippling and this blog shows how insidious it can be. It can creep in to anything. I love the coral analogy too Suzanne, it is great to be reminded that each individual expression is equal and needed.
“I was listening to everyone else’s expression and how they talked, then choosing to compare myself to them”, this is really interesting Suzanne because I’ve recognised that this scenario is applied to all kinds of things; like checking out the type of thing to wear or a manner in which to behave – that then stifles and moderates my own true expression. As you say, comparison is crippling. The more I get to know who I am, the more I can appreciate others, without comparison creeping in.
Oh, this is so beautiful. I love the example of the coral, it makes it so real and obvious. I feel the truth of what you share about us being all different colour corals all making one unifying reef. This to me proves how important it is to let all the corals grow in their own design, honoring them for who they are, appreciating their presence and uniqueness, no need to compare as our own coral is just as important as the rest, just shining its unique shine within the whole universal waters. Thank you Suzanne, a blessing for all of us. Our unique voice matters, so are we designed to work together within our own uniqueness.
‘I understood that the individual ways in which we express are all equally significant and valid – indeed it is crucial that there is a variety.’
We are like a magnificent puzzle each one of us unique and yet a part of the whole. When we truly feel this, how could we ever compare?
‘Awesome blog Suzanne’ … Said with appreciation in my heart voice ✨✨
Comparison is crippling, I agree. I have experienced it and I realise it drives people apart. When comparison is present it is impossible to be united with one another. It destroys relationships or it keeps it at a very superficial level. I love your honesty and openness to share your experience Suzanne. You have shown us by being honest and nominating it when we feel comparison it is very healing. It opens up love and appreciation for our uniqueness, our beauty and that we are ultimately all the same.
That’s a great image of the different coloured corals, we do all have unique expressions even when coming from the same essence of love. Nature has a great way of showing how crazy comparison is!
Comparison divides us, Love unites us. It is so simple, yet old influences still make us feel less or more than someone else.I have learned from Serge Benhayon that we are all equal at our core, and all else is merely living from our hurts; re-connecting with the Love within us means they cannot touch us, and comparison disappears too, there is no room for it.
Beautifully and simply expressed Joan – we are all equal and when we are feeling less it is because of our unresolved hurts, so we react instead of respond and this is heard in our voice….reconnecting with our love within, our voice changes too, it becomes much more tender, our voice can reveal so much.
Thank you for sharing Suzanne. So great for you to feel so deeply into your expression and connect and feel the comparison that had been hiding your true voice. A great healing and offering for me to also feel into.
I love to hear the different sound and quality of peoples voices it reveals so much
Nailed it Suzanne… comparison is deadly to our own expression, it is not needed and is symptomatic of having already denied the unique part we each play in the whole. Thank you!
I just love this so much I am commenting again. It felt deeper when I read it the second time how indeed we all have our own expression and that it is not meant for us to all be exactly the same. Together we are everything and so if I choose to try to be like someone else my voice is missing the whole.
What a great comment Marika and a great truth and also tool the voice is. I have experience talking with someone and the energy of the words help them to clear the intense energy that they were in, I saw their body changing before my eyes.
The power when we speak from our bodies to other bodies offers so much in the way of healing. Its extraordinary really when we really start to express from all that we are, and it feels so amazing to not hold back. To not hold back our majesty when in the company of others.
Beautifully said Suzanne – I can hear the hardness or strain in my voice at times, like I am attached to people understanding me. When I let go of needing approval and don’t hold back there is no strain in my voice – it feels simple and clear and all of me.
Well said Suzanne, It’s awesome that you are finding your true voice. You have taken the opportunity of having a sore throat to reflect on why it may have happened and it’s beautiful to read how much you have realised in that time.
Suzanne, the coral was such a unique metaphor that created an array of colors in my mind. When you see such magnificence in so many different corals you can feel how pointless it is to want them to all be exactly the same. The uniqueness in difference is what makes the magnificence.
It’s an amazing freedom to let go of comparison and instead just deepen our connection with ourselves and our body, and discover the depths of our own quality of expression.
That’s exactly how it feels to me too Annie – positively liberating.
Suzanne what a wonderful colourful blog. Reminding me once again of how important it is for each one of us to express in our own unique way. My expression has for many years been stifled by comparison and it feels like I am now, after many Esoteric Healing sessions with Universal Medicine practitioners, beginning to bloom my true expression. Full and True for one and all.
Beautiful Suzanne and a reminder to me to really feel my own expression and that of others.
It is true that comparison is insidious. It can become like a stone dropped the water and you are still hanging onto it. The stone and you cause ripples to be sent out affecting everyone. The longer you hang on to the stone the deeper you drop and father the ripples travel. We are all the same so what is there to compare?
I like the image of the coral and the reef. Like a reef we all grow on the same foundation standing together through the tides of time.
What great inspiration Suzanne, I am sure that we all can look at our expression in this way and truly discern if we are communicating from the true us, or a comparison and enjoinment to another. It is certainly something that I will now consider in this way.
It is not often that we hear of a sore throat as being a blessing. But I had to smile today in reading your blog because I have a soar and swollen throat this morning showing me that something needs to be looked at, without judgement or blame.
This awareness you have seen and felt with yourself is awesome; what I am learning is after the awareness that is when we have the choice to change.
Great blog Suzanne, I have noticed that the quality of my voice at work on the phone can change drastically if I am stressed and saying my spiel at the beginning seems harder also. But then when I am present and pick up the phone gently, I noticed that my voice has a certain quality to it and there is ample time to say my introduction.
A lovely sharing reminding us all of the harm of comparison and how the quality of our voice reflects the quality of our expression.
Thank you Suzanne for this great sharing of the diversity of expression we offer the whole in which we are very much part of equally so.
I also recently had a cold and was starting to lose my voice. I was talking to my friends about it, and we discussed how it could be because I had been holding back saying what I really felt and what was really going on, which then lead me to losing my voice. I often look outside and measure myself up to others, comparing and not fully expressing myself for fear of being wrong or not being accepted.
Wow, how our voice can share so much. When we are no longer in judgement or comparison, but just with ourselves how our true voice comes through, beautiful.
It is indeed crucial that there is a variety in how we all speak and communicate, the unique individual expression is something we all can value, when we do so there is no need to compare, just appreciate both ourselves and one another.
I used to have soar throats every year around spring when the air was polluted with pollen and other stuff. At some point, my voice was gone and could not speak for days. Yet, if continued and I had to interact with there people. I remember how I used this situation to get something like mercy from them and how great this felt in me. Suddenly, there was no expectations on me any longer. I used to find relief in this. Since I have started my relationship with Universal Medicine, I did not have a single incident of a sore throat and I did not lose my voice. Could it be that this is the case because I had used both my throat and voice to start expressing?
I can really relate to this Suzanne, ‘there are times when my outward expression, namely my voice, doesn’t always match the gentleness that I feel inside’, sometimes it feels so false and forceful when i speak and this definitely does not feel like me, when there feels like a consistency with the gentle feeling inside and this same feeling is expressed through my voice this feels very true and is me speaking naturally.
I know that feeling of listening and comparing the sound of my voice to others – I have been a chameleon throughout my life always adapting the way I sound to those around me. While that is great for learning how to speak in different accents (!), its a hopeless way forward for learning my true expression.
Thank you Suzanne, you make a critical point here how devaluing and undermining comparison is and how it is the opposite of self- acceptance.
Yes Jane, and isn’t it a joy to live this way, seeing the deeper meaning behind life’s situations 🙂
Yes Marika, every day it becomes clearer and clearer to me: ‘we cannot hide’, meaning “I” cannot hide, no matter what.
I love that analogy Suzanne! Thank you.
I can completely relate to the learning and even blessing that a sore throat can bring. For me, when I get a sore throat I struggle to speak so I end up observing a lot more, I feel the amount of speaking that is actually needed compared to speaking for the sake of making noise and I also get to feel the quality in the way I have been speaking. I appreciate and can feel when I speak from my tenderness and because I have been developing this over the past few years – I have been even more aware of when harshness tries to play out in my expression. This is great because the awareness then supports me to address it and bring more love and allow my natural tenderness to be there more.
I loved reading your comment johanna08smith – much for me to ponder on in your words.
That is a very helpful insight and reminder Suzanne. I can certainly relate to feeling that my voice does not always match how I feel inside. I see now that I can assume a voice of authority rather than giving voice to my lived authority – a lack of trust that anyone would want to listen to me. Thank you for inspiring this moment of reflection.
Thank you Suzanne for what you have shared here has reminded me of a long journey throughout adolescence of my constant companion laryngitis, where for long periods I was unable to express, always in comparison and struggling to find myself.
Nowadays my voice not only sounds lovely, it feels lovely to express when I’m simply being myself.
Wow Yasmin, I didn’t know there was such a thing, companion laryngitis! It puts a new spin on sore throats and lost voices, instead of the usual “i’ve got a cold”, or “i caught a virus…”. Life is so much more than what is seen superficially.
Reading your comments Yasmin and Suzanne, I had the feeling we as humanity are suffering from a severe case of comparisonitis. For sure this is one ugly disease.
A great article Suzanne. I often catch myself with the sound of my voice and realise that I have gone into head mode. How awful, when the power of my voice has such a strength of healing for all whom I meet in daily life. Your article has brought me back to awareness of how I speak and what I am saying and most of all where it is coming from, head or heart.
I like how you put it Mary, from ‘head or heart’. I shall ask myself that too, thank you.
Your comment reminds me to do the same, to be more aware of how I express and where I am expressing from, my head or heart. Thank you Mary.
Why compare, when you can just enjoy you?
Great comment Oliver, lets all celebrate our own unique-ness.
We are each unique but deep down we are all the same – this can be either a terrifying or reassuring truth, depending on where we choose to stand.
That is great Oliver I something I will ask myself everyday.
Comparison is such a killer and really you are never able to accept your true unique beauty if you are in comparison. Be you, and let the outward way of looking cease – it is so insidious and so deeply embedded in us that only in deepening our relationship with self does it stop. Serge Benhayon has been an endless support for me to work on this and let go of what is not me.
Great question Oliver, I love it! It is crazy when we compare ourselves with others given that we are a culmination of all our past choices, which are completely unique to us!
True James, it really does not make any sense.
And others as well 😀
It’s awesome to feel that now coming through in your expression. Your whole true voice.
Dear Suzanne thank You for sharing this with us…how great that You could work that out for You…getting back to Your true voice 🙂 I am on the way there as well being more aware of how I speak and what really is the sound of my true voice and how it feels…inspired me to discover this and really start to listen to myself talking in an observing way. With love Nadine
I just loved this Suzanne – it deeply touched me and helped me feel in a really tangible way how as you say comparison is so destructive for us all, I know I have done it so automatically I wasn’t even conscious I was doing it !
I so love your wonderful analogy of the coral and how we are from the same source but our unique individual expressions are so important to make up the fullness of our expression as a whole.
Beautiful Suzanne, I love the analogy. We all miss out when someone is comparing or not just being themselves. We miss out on their own uniqueness…. and this applies not just to their spoken expression but to the way they dress, how they walk or how they interact with others.
In the past, I used to try to be like a chameleon and change my skin colour so to speak to fit in, but these days its so lovely to just be me no matter who I am with or where I am.
I love the analogy too. It is exhausting when we try to be someone else but when we just be ourselves we feel amazing, energised and shine.
I’ve done that too Rosie – become a chameleon and master of camouflage in different environments… But this does not leave me feeling any more fulfilled, and the idea that ‘fitting in’ will bring happiness and joy is not actually a reality..
Yes and how powerful is our full voice. For me it carries a resonance throughout my body and can be felt as well as heard.
Yes I have always called it our ‘heart’ voice. When the girls were young and inclined to go into baby voices I would say ‘use your heart voice’ they would then sound clearer and speak with greater purpose. So beautiful. ✨
This is beautiful Kathryn. Love it “use your heart voice”, I am going to borrow that one 🙂
I love that – “our Heart Voice”. I used to call it the ‘Voice of my Soul’, and that’s actually what it feels like.
Yes me too merrileepettinato. My true voice comes from a particular resonance in my whole body also. I love that feeling and I love the feeling in those instances of being very connected with myself.
I love this blog and all you share Suzanne offering such great reflections to feel who we truly are with our voice and expression and I can really relate with this having held back my full expression all my life. Starting to do this now feels so expansive and joyful. I love the analogy of the coral reef and all its expressions making up the whole, brilliant.
Reading you article Suzanne it jumped out to me that what ever we say with truth is our unique expression. Censoring what it is we need to say for any reason is a stifling effect in our throats, our sound, and entire bodies. If we say how we truly feel we don’t need to ‘get it right or ok for another’, just the fact that it is the truth for me looks after the rest I’ve discovered.
Yes I am confirmed through my voice when I am speaking from truth because there is a rich, deep resonance to my tone. It is something that I feel I need to pay more attention to as I know I censor what I say quite often and hold back that truth from coming out. In letting go of getting it right or ok for another I give myself permission to simply express naturally without worry or fear of the reaction.
I love how you have expressed, Sandra “what ever we say with truth is our unique expression”. That makes such sense. We are being ourselves when we speak with truth.
This reminds me of when my son was little (and still to this day) he would very intricately describe and refer to people by the sound and tone of their voice. We are able to hear and feel more than the just the words being said…there is so much more communicated.
Great reminder Sara that there is so much more being felt than the words that are spoken and we are responsible for it all.
Yes, Sara, and there is so much more we can express and our voice then becomes more and more whole.
I realize more and more how all of our expressions are needed. If one does not express, it affects the all. It’s like a choir, all the voices are needed and nobody can be left out. We are all needed and therefore, all of our expressions are needed.
My mother never liked the way the kids at my school spoke and was always correcting me when I spoke like them. When I spoke like my mother did at school the kids would laugh at me and not always in a nice way so I had two ways of speaking at a young age.
It’s beautiful, what you say Mariette, “We are all needed and therefore, all of our expressions are needed”.
Comparison keeps us stuck and unable to express who we are when we can only see the differences – rather than our connection to one another. When I feel lack of self worth I regress into being a child and speak with a low small voice rather than claiming who I am and the power that is me when I am claiming who I am as a woman in the world. Thank you Suzanne for a beautiful blog.
Susan i agree.
When we truly honour our own expression, the desire to compare ceases. We no feel longer feel separated. We feel connected.
😊😊
Susan Lee, I can relate what you are saying. When I feel a lack of self worth, I speak with a small voice that people have a problem in hearing. Gradually learning to claim myself, amazing the power I feel when I do that, and my voice is so different.
I agree Beverley – our voices have a more spherical and inclusive feeling when we are claiming who we are and our whole body comes alive. When I speak in a ‘small voice’ I am now realising that I go into the behaviour of being a victim again and this is just me trying to gain identification. It feels so perverse that I would go out of my way to minimise who I am in order to gain a place in the world – even that of a victim!
I love what you have written about choosing to compare and being harsh and judgmental on yourself and everyone else, this is something that many people do on a daily basis, I know, I used to do it – now it sneaks in every now and then. I find that sometimes I am also comparing myself to someone or a situation where I am only guessing or speculating on the details. I wonder how often we are comparing ourselves to fictitious or unreal things – how absurd.
Love your blog, Suzanne. Great to get awareness on the different effects comparison has. For me it also stopped me to express at all. I would just keep quiet. I am working with that now and also listening to how my voice sounds. There is a difference when I simply let it out, speak with authority or when I think about it too much. When I am connected to my body and speak from it, there is much more sweetness and joy.
Thank you Suzanne. Great blog to read and comment on. I sometimes feel pressured that what I say is the right thing to say, and this is mostly driven by comparison. I know and have felt how one-unifying expression can be through Serge Benhayon. I strive and sometimes end up driving for this expression all the time.
Today was a new marker. I was feeling a lot in my body and it was uncomfortable – I was feeling something new. I could feel how much my mind wants to speak whatever, it wants to not honour what I’m feeling in my body. In days like this I keep my expression simple. I take my time. I really honour my connection to my body. If I do not know what to say I accept my expression needs to take its time. Because I was at home mostly and not at work my commitment was more needed to deeply honour my body. Nurture and be tender with it is my best medicine; be present with it, and not to try and work out my feelings in my head.
‘everyone’s individual expression together makes up the whole, just as each coral together make a reef.’ Love it. And so true Suzanne… Everyone’s expression is so important cause everyone’s is different .. And that’s what makes it awesome ! Everyone’s got something unique and grand to bring in their own style- a missing piece to the puzzle.
Reading your article Suzanne has stirred memories of how I have copied and compared myself to friends in the past, making myself most unhappy.
I was totally unaware that I had a way of expressing that is part of the whole and reflects the uniqueness of who I am.
Although I still catch myself comparing sometimes, as my awareness and true expression grows, we are each and everyone of us, as you so beautifully put it, “gorgeous coloured corals”.
Brilliant Suzanne. Having grown up and spent many years in the ‘heightened world’ of comparison that is the field of singing – especially classical training, competitions, etc, etc… I can totally relate to and appreciate what you’ve shared here.
For, all the training in the world can’t change the qualities of truth and love that can only be in a voice, when it comes from the truth of one’s being. In trying to be like others, even no matter how ‘pretty’ the sound or even open the throat and vocal apparatus, the sound – and its energetic quality – can never be true.
How amazing and beautiful that you experienced what you did in your session, and realised that true expression comes from the simplicity of being you. For in truly being ourselves, the sound is always golden (and I say that from many years experience, and feeling the true ‘gold’ through what may even sound croaky or hoarse to some… it can ALWAYS be felt, and IS always felt, if the true nature of energy be known).
Your sharing Suzanne makes me appreciate how much we each offer through our own expressions and the importance of not holding this back.
“I realise now that it makes no sense at all to try to be like another”….what a freeing discovery you have made and decided to live by. You are so right – it does not make any sense whatsoever but unfortunately it is a well practised method. Thanks for sharing your story with us.
Great reminder to include the tone of voice in the awareness of how we express as another part of the all that we are.
The tone we use with words, that is a very big topic … and true it makes a huge difference to how people will hear us depending on what tone we use.
So true Suzanne ‘it is crucial that there is a variety,’ not so much so that we can be individuals, but more so we can pool all of our unique resources together to make it a one glorious whole.
Love it Dean, ‘pooling our resources to make one glorious whole’ 🙂
I love that Dean – One Glorious whole. As above so below.
There is no comparison in small children – they just are and express whatever they feel.
Let’s be inspired and get back to this simplicity, truth and joy we all know.
OK michaelkremer2212, Let’s do so!
What a lovely revelation Suzanne. Our voices communicate everything about us so it is no wonder I often find the sound of my own voice to be quite confronting. I recently listened to a recording of myself speaking and found it very uncomfortable. I hadn’t really pondered why until I read this blog.
I can now feel that I was reacting to the anxiousness I could hear in my voice and had judged myself harshly instead of simply appreciating the awareness I have and learning from this. Thank you for reminding me to look, listen and feel more deeply.
And thank you too Leonne, for pointing out how easy it is to judge myself rather than appreciate the awareness and learn.
The tone of voice we use to speak with can show so much about how we are feeling. It is so gorgeous to be with someone who speaks with their true voice as no imposition is placed on another. This is something I am observing in myself and can feel that when I an tense and speak with another how this can impact them. When I am speaking with my true voice it allows the other to be as they are.
Considering how much we speak during our day, this awareness of the quality we speak in is essential. My work involves taking many phone calls from people and so I have been enjoying feeling how someone is by the tone, sound and quality of their voice. So much is shared through our voice alone.
Great point Vicky. I am talking on a microphone all day in my job, so all my voice, no face or body, to connect to. It makes the responsibility I have to express properly, truly, as Me oh so important.
Great point Vicky about considering how much we use our voice every day. We have lots and lots of opportunities every day to bring our love, warmth and truth to ourselves and others.
Something that I have noticed myself is that when I read out loud to other people I will often speak in a voice of sounds like this is “the right way to read and speak” rather than just be natural and allow myself to simply have my own voice. It is interesting how ingrained these behaviours are from school years etc.
Hi Suzanne, great blog. I know in the past I’ve changed my voice to be more like someone I’m with at the time – but when I think about it, I wouldn’t want someone to change their voice to start talking like me, so why would I want to change myself? Our unique expressions are all amazing in their own way.
This rings true with me too Melissa. I know I often change my voice to fit in with the people I’m with or the situation I’m in. It takes conscious effort to maintain and honour my own true tone of voice no matter who I am speaking to.
Too true Melissa. I wouldn’t want someone to change their voice to be like mine, why would I want to either?
well sais Suzanne, it may take a little courage at first to truly express what we feel and in the way we feel it but if we hold it back we are robbing the world of an important and unique part of the big puzzel we form together.
You made me smile, Suzanne. I imagined corals being the same colour, all people looking the same, all talking the same, being dressed the same-horrible picture!
We are unique in our making and expression. Lets go with it!
Ha elenalight! Imagine a reef made of the one colour!! Too bizarre and so limiting 🙂
Hi Suzanne, thank you for sharing your deeper understanding. There is nothing more beautiful than our own true voice, expressing who we are in full.
In difficult situations I find that I can use a voice that has an agenda pushing it. I want the other person to understand, to get what I am saying. The energy in this is hard and harmful. It is great when I catch this and make the choice to change, I can feel the connection between us change. Our voice is such a wonderful marker of where we are at.
Me too elainearthey, I so understand.
This is a topic where I am working with in the moment ,Susanne. I know the judgmental voice in me and from this observation I made a choice, being deeply tender and loving with myself and talking tenderly and lovingly with myself as well in appreciating all the processes I have already been through and appreciating the love I already have in my body. Thank you.
Plato said, Wise men speak because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something. We are all the same, but each have our own unique expression.
Thanks Steve, which prompts me to ponder that silence is also an expression and ‘appropriate’ silence a real gift
Great point Kathiefreedom. “Appropriate silence is a real gift”, I am aware of this and one day will master offering this gift to others.
Well said Plato and sjmatsonuk! I love your addition.
Spot on Plato and sjmatsonuk! I recall several years ago I lost my voice. This was prior to coming across Universal Medicine so I did not consider which of my choices had led to that situation. But I do recall, once I accepted the fact that I could not talk, how healing the imposed silence felt, because the sheer effort required to write down or gesture about everything I communicated brought an extra level of care, clarity and awareness to what I was communicating.
Excellent sjmatsonuk! I am that wise man and that fool every day 🙂 I prefer feeling the expression in my body of the wise man though. They do feel completely different, I agree, Andrew Mooney (above comment).
Love the quote Steve… and I can remember countless times when I’ve said something inane or banal just to fill the space, rather than only speaking when it will add some wisdom to a situation.
I have also had the experience of hearing my own voice and sometimes it does not sound quite right which is usually when I am speaking from my head or my mind and sometimes it has a lovely resonance and depth that seems to come from my whole body – this is when I am speaking from my heart. They feel completely different. Much thanks to Chris James, renowned voice coach and musician for helping me understand this more.
I have had a sore throat too for the last week and I can feel how sometimes I still calibrate when I talk to people… Instead of being just me.
Great word alexandremed, ‘calibrate’. Because that is what is done when expression isn’t from the true me.
I have done that too – I notice I talk some times in a my big voice, not a loud voice, a big voice that I have developed and it feels strange to me. Its often when I talk with people that I think are bigger, more important than me….I have a few voices actually. May this nominating of the split voices – allow it to clear. It’s time for me to claim my true voice in the world, and let my heart talk and sing.
I have noticed recently that towards the end of the day at work my throat will occasionally be sore and If I back track to when it started it is nearly always related to how I have been expressing. It can be something simple, that I am a bit tired so not fully aware of my every word or even how I am standing and expressing. My sore throat is now my marker to look at all aspects of my life where I am not expressing in full.
This article reminds me of the importance of not judging and learning to truly understand other people. We have a unique way of expressing and this myriad of ‘corals’ can unite into a beautiful whole. Thank you for sharing.
In the UK, as probably all countries, each area has its own accent and dialect words. There are still vestiges of judgement of not only what is said but the accent in which it is delivered, many people attempting to change their accent to one that is deemed more desirable.
What a world away this assessment of speaking is from expressing.
Expression is everything and connecting to our true voice is part of this. In my experience, when we find our own voice and express openly and honestly, we help others to do the same.
Great article Suzanne. I can feel for me how I have held back my own expression because I have pre-judged myself and the worth of what is there for me to say. I am learning slowly and surely that my expression is needed as equally as all others. Thank you Suzanne, I’ll be re-visiting this article for sure.
Thank you Suzanne. An amazing realisation that we are constantly holding ourselves in comparison to others, when the reality is that there is nothing to compare, we are all different in how we express and when it is from truth it is true beauty.
I love how this blog reflects back to coral and the unique diversity of Nature as well as the individual expression that works together within the whole. One can’t live without another, and the same goes for us.
Beautiful Suzanne. And timely as I have been more aware of the sound of my own voice and hearing it when it comes only from my throat – when it sounds pushed and graveley; I can feel the harshness and the drive to make a point; it is not from the true me but from somewhere which is striving to ‘find’ me. As opposed to when I speak from my body when it feels like the expression is flowing from each and every particle; when I speak in this way I am connecting to the oneness of everything, but celebrating how it is my unique expression which is delivering what is being spoken and needed.
In comparison we totally forget who we are and self loathing is bound to follow as we feel the discontent of no longer being ourselves and trying to live up to something or someone we have deemed better than us. Comparison can work the other way too in trying to be better or different to someone we view less favourably. Trying to be better, different or more – all takes us away from just being ourselves and is really very draining.
Well said shevonsimon. And from that place of trying – trying to be ‘more’ or ‘less’, we disconnect from ourselves. Our expression is then lost to the trying, and most definitely does not naturally come from who we are in truth.
I’ve most certainly experienced this, and then also have experience of the ease and grace with which our voice can flow, when we are simply being ourselves.
Great comment shevonsimon. I can see the progression to self-loathing when behaving or expressing as anything but one’s self; to do so, the logical reason is that we do it because we don’t like ourselves.
And all adds up to draining and feeling exhausted, for sure.
Great description shevonsimon.
Hello Suzanne, great analogy and this I totally agree with, “I realise now that it makes no sense at all to try to be like another: it feels important to let go of comparison and let my own voice, my own unique expression evolve into what it naturally is.” Thank you.
I also notice my voice feels harsh and loud at times, it is always a great indicator that I am not present in my body because when I am my voice is very soothing to the ear and loving.
So true Mary-Louise, I feel how sweet and lovely my voice is when I’m present and how what I say is clear and makes sense, whereas when I’m not present my voice is louder and what I say is more complicated and not understood very well by people.
Yes! That sense that I’m not making sense comes through loud and clear when I’m expressing from my head, to be something I’m just not. That feels terrible!
“Everyone’s individual expression together makes up the whole, just as each coral together makes a reef”. Thank-you Susan for this reminder of the importance for us all to express.
Thank you Suzanne. Yes, every expression is equally a part of the whole and therefore no one is more or less…all very simply and equally needed, for the full expression of the whole. Also a reminder in our responsibility of being a part of the whole, to inspire that same fullness in others, as you do Suzanne.
Dear Sara, ‘a reminder in our responsibility of being a part of the whole, to inspire that same fullness in others.’
This makes the heart sing and swell to meet the responsibility with deep knowing that this is for each of us to do, no fuss or fireworks. Doing this has scared me a lot, however each day I find myself stepping up into this responsibility a little more. The more I choose to do this, the easier it is becoming.
That’s super important Sara – no expression matters more or less… Everyone contributes to the coral, because without this the ‘whole’ you talk about would just not be the true ‘whole’, and the ‘big picture’ would be made small.
Thank you Sara, a beautiful message for me.
Great comment Sara – our individual expressions each have something unique and valuable to bring to the bigger picture. No one form of expression is less than another.
This rings home to me big time Suzanne. I have always compared myself in this way through my expression in voice and it as you say is a massive killer. I totally love they way you described it like coral and that each piece makes up the reef. Reefs are gorgeous when they emanate there beauty and it really does take each coral to be its unique expression.
Thank you Suzanne for sharing your insights with us in your article. I have often held back in expression and realise if I do this not only am I comparing and making my self less but holding back my unique expression of my amazingness.
I can see how I can do the same when I’m not expressing, I’m learning to accept, love and value what my expression offers to others.
In every moment we have a choice in how we express.
Suzanne, reading your blog took me back to my high school days and the dire need I felt to be like others. I was in constant comparison and would copy mannerisms, styles, writing and voices in an attempt to fit in. If only I knew how amazing and precious my own unique expression was back then, I could have given others the opportunity to just be themselves too. It feels lovely to nurture this teenager and let her know how important her own way is – since that way is actually the same as everyone else’s – Union and Brotherhood.
True Rachael, when we dismiss our own unique contribution to the whole, the whole misses out on exactly what was needed from us simply being us.
So true Kylie.
Strong words Kylie, well said.
Gorgeous comment Rachael, “…to nurture this teenager and let her know how important her own way is…” I need to use the words ‘nurture’ and ‘myself’ in the same sentence much much more.
Beautifully expressed Suzanne, so true, comparison is an insidious thing and is a sure fire way to keep us from valuing ourselves and our precious expression.
This is another great example of how our bodies are constantly communicating with us. I am amazed that your body knew you were communicating harshly and thus the sore throat to make you aware of it. Thank you for sharing Suzanne and I know you will find your natural voice and it will resonate harmoniously in your throat.
I love the analogy of the reef Suzanne, it seems so obvious when we look at nature that each unique expression is precious and comparison is a fools game but so often we slip into comparison. I will remind myself of the reef then next time comparison creeps in.
yes, me too. And your comment Fiona that comparison is indeed a ‘fools game.’ Love it!
I love ‘comparison is a fool’s game’ too Fiona, thank you for spelling it out in plain language 🙂
Tis true that we all have a voice that not only speaks, but can speak and express our truth, or not, depending on what we choose. Our true voice is felt too, not just heard.
Agree Oliver… Felt to the bone
Absolutely Oliver, felt that.
Great awareness Suzanne. I can feel in my own voice when I’m pushing to speak, speaking from a place where I’m not being myself or when I am speaking from my true self in tenderness. There is a rhythm and a vibration I feel in my body when I’m speaking, just as there is when I listen to music and it either feels lovely and harmonious or it feels hard and disruptive. There is so much to explore with our voices and how it feels when we speak. Thanks for sharing your experience with us Suzanne.
My pleasure Sandra. I feel now that when I push to speak, I give myself a headache 🙂 It’s like the vibrations felt by and within my body are all over the place and clearly from a mental construct, hence the pain in the head.
There are definitely particular ways I speak depending on how I feel, and I like the way you’ve highlighted that Sandra. One method my family would know well is when I get lost in work and effectively shut down and I know my voice becomes wooden and hard. This compared to when I am feeling connected, and the way I would describe my voice is one of flow, warmth, and smooth.
That’s gorgeous simonwilliams8…now you know how your voice feels when you’re connected and when you’re not. My voice comes from my throat and it feels constricted when I’m not fully with myself, and when I am, I feel it deep in my chest and the sound just glides out. So much fun getting to know this about ourselves 🙂
Suzanne, I really relate to what you shared about your voice and expression not matching how you feel inside. Reading this blog has given me more awareness to how I express – definitely something worth developing. Thank you.
Yes I felt it’s often how i look that doesn’t match what I feel inside. I feel this is to do with thinking I need to look a certain way and not appreciating my uniqueness. There is something about wanting to look like/copy someone else because it’s safety in numbers and I’m not alone in what i choose; rather than take the responsibility to fully appreciate me without needing someone to say I’m ok.
Hmm, ‘safety in numbers’ is rife, for all ages in society, and serves no-one any good, I know that now. Thank you for your comment Karin.
Appreciating my uniqueness: this I will do more of, and I love how you call to responsibility the appreciation without needing someone else to make it ok. Building a foundation of appreciation that is not relying on the outside to build it, but the knowing of the quality that lives within.
Such a timely article for me, as I explore the authority I have when I share from what I have lived rather than trying to share what I think people want/need.
Powerful sharing Joel, and very timely for me.
I can relate to this Joel and am learning to be real, my real and not anyone else’s. A big thing for me is to accept that what I have to say is worth expressing.
Yes, I can relate to this one Joel…. as I share the love of writing… and at times I stop and check in… do I write to impress or as you say, to write what I think people need to hear or do I just write what comes to me from my own experience. I have done both, and I know which one people relate to most and are inspired by.
Great comment Joel. For me, it wasn’t always about “trying to share from what I think people want/need” . Rather, it was ‘trying to share in a way that another person thought I should share”.
I agree we should be sharing from our lived experience.
It’s a powerful message Suzanne, that we all must find our own unique expression, powerful and much needed as for most of our lives we are confronted by messages that want us to conform to a standard way of being, our whole school life diminishes the individuals we are and standing out can often be costly, yet there is nothing greater than doing so and being that unique voice that we know is our own, there is no greater confirmation than that you give yourself knowing you are being you.
Yes Stephen, I have a daughter in school, and the need to conform and be “normal” is so incredibly strong. What ever you do, do not stand out!
And another equally powerful message Stephen. My unique voice is definitely becoming more known to me for I too have found a million and one ways to diminish it and strip it of its true power and love. Each step I take in allowing my unique expression only confirms to me how right it feels, even if it goes against everything I have known.
Thankyou Suzanne, lovely reminder to appreciate our own unique flavour in expression and the how this complements the whole.
Well said Francisco, we still need to be reminded sometimes to fully appreciate our own unique flavour in expression, as a part of the whole.
Beautiful Suzanne, we are together indeed a very beautiful whole with all our expressions. Life would be very boring if we all wanted to sound and be like each other..
A beautiful reflection on expression. Yet another glorious message given here to you by your body.
I know what you mean about your voice not matching how you feel inside, I have moments when my voice sounds so sweet and powerful it literally stops people in their tracks me included, that is my marker that is possible!
Comparison seems to be creeping into every niche in our lives making us want to be different, so life becomes a constant act. It is really good to have it exposed so it is occupying one cell less in our bodies.
Suzanne, I am feeling this too- that our own individual expression is everything it is supposed to be and does not need to be like anyone else. It is so easy to go into comparison but for me this happens when I am not appreciating my own self worth. When this happens I nominate it and deepen my appreciation of me!
Isn’t it amazing how things our head may see as a burden, or a pain – such as having a sore throat can actually be a blessing – as they reveal to us a time to stop, slow down reflect upon something we can learn from and grow.
Yes Gyl, it is. To see pain or an ache as a blessing means we’re connected to our bodies and if willing to go deeper can be shown something about ourselves we may have overlooked or ignored.
I love the beautiful analogy of the corals that showed you “.. the individual ways in which we express are all equally significant and valid – indeed it is crucial there is variety.” We sometimes need to develop more confidence with expressing ( without comparison) from our inner most, and thus allowing our own unique expression to evolve.
How we feel on the inside sometimes gets lost in translation when speaking by our ideals or beliefs around how it should come across. I know many a time I myself have felt to say something but because I have judged or expected a certain outcome before saying anything it comes out and the situation then appears to go completely wrong. What I am learning more recently is how to just say what I feel without expecting a certain reply or response or reaction to whatever I do say. The more I am acting on what I feel, the easier it is becoming. And if I don’t, then I know for next time, but what is helping is that choice to give it a go and see how I feel inside and how my body feels during and after, rather than giving it a go and watching the world’s response.
Comparison is deeply destructive and exists in all its subtle ways. And as you have shown here Suzanne, it actually has an impact on our very voice too!
Beautiful Suzanne, I can very much relate to what you are saying here. My voice feels very awkward and unpleasant when I do not express from me, but rather trying to live up to expectations from myself as well as from the outside – the need to ‘deliver’ something. Thanks to the teachings and forever inspiration of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I now know the enormous difference and the importance that my unique expression makes, and am in deep appreciation of this ever unfolding and developing process.
I love this, I feel the permission to be my own unique voice, so that together our unique voices can make a beautiful constellation of exactly what is needed.
I love the coral analogy. The individual corals, all lovely in their unique way, make up a wondrous interconnected ecosystem, with each part affecting and being affected by the whole. It is magic when you hear a true voice, one that comes from the heart and vibrates within you with that quality.
Thank You, I have also experienced trying to calibrate my voice to sound like anothers, which then makes sense why it sounds so harsh/judgmental, as I am not honouring my voice and my unique expression!
This is Beautiful Suzanne, and I can relate to much of it.
Suzanne I really appreciate the honour for All that can be felt in this sentence: “I understood that the individual ways in which we express are all equally significant and valid – indeed it is crucial that there is a variety.”
Wow Suzanne, what a stunning article! thank you so much 🙂
The quality of our voices I’ve noticed is very much a direct reflection of the quality we are living with ourselves and therefore what we then express to others. So much can be felt in the tone of a voice.
A great reminder that all voices are gorgeous when they are an expression from our soul. It could be no other way: Our Father doesn’t make mistakes.
How beautiful and I completely agree. I love and delight in the unique expression of everyone and I have always particularly enjoyed yours… not that I am comparing of course 😉
I agree Suzanne. You have a gorgeous voice.
Suzanne, you have spoken so wisely with these words; “it feels important to let go of comparison and let my own voice, my own unique expression evolve into what it naturally is”. Our true expression is ours, and ours alone and, comparison, which is so easily to fall into, only leads to us feeling lesser than others and less than the amazingness that we are. When we claim that fact that we are amazing, our voice will express this with ease.
Thank you Suzanne for the confirmation that everyone’s unique expression is truly required to bring beauty to this world and any form of comparison would deny our true light and thus not shine.
Gorgeous and true Andrew. Living our own unique expression gives others the invitation to drop their guard of comparison and protection and just be.
Hear, hear Suzanne – “it makes no sense at all to try and be like another.” All our expressions are needed 🙂
I love what is expressed here about noticing that sometimes what comes out of our mouths does not seem to match what we feel in our bodies, and this is definitely something I have observed in myself, and the more I become aware of this the more I can observe when there is a mis-match! What I am learning is that when I am truly connected to myself, my expression (whatever I do or say or the way I am) is confirmation of that connection…
Very true Angela, our expression (verbally or otherwise) will always tell whether or not we are connected to ourselves – it is a fact that cannot be denied or brushed under the carpet.
Suzanne I agree with you that we are all unique and therefore our expression and voice will be also. Comparing ourselves to others only brings pain so why do we do this to ourselves ? To first self nurture and Love ourselves this would free ourselves from this habit. Thank you Suzanne.
Wonderful analogy of our voices and how we all express differently, and this is what makes life so interesting and beautiful.
I just love listening to my voice, the quality I speak in is a big reflection of how connected I am. When I hear a hardness in my voice or a rush when I speak, I allow myself to stop and sink in my body a bit more and start speaking from there.
lovely blog Suzanne. Is our voice a reflection of what we are? or is it a comparison or a barrier to express how we think we should be? is our voice truly us? or is it a created voice, to give the impression of something to match what is outside in the world?
We are all a gorgeous part of the whole. So true. I love this and there really can be no comparison, we are who we are and that is great – everyone working together to their strengths.
I was used to comparing myself with others, and just as you’ve shared Suzanne did not know my own true voice, at times I was not even aware of the frustration and resentment that others could hear in my voice. It is a joy to find my way back with the support of the Universal Medicine modalities, always being inspired by the Ageless Wisdom.
Everyone has a beautiful voice (vibration), a unique expression that when expressed from our true nature, our essence, becomes one with all other uniquely expressing voices. That’s what makes harmony so lovely to hear – a choir of voices expressing together, not the same but equally resonating a one unified truth. Delicious!
If you compare you don´t embrace your own amazingness, even if you think you are “better” than the other. It always needs the outside and will never be satisfied, because the result is never full. How beautiful to step back and feel the fullness of oneself. Then you embrace not only yourself but the whole world.
Thank you Steffihenn for your simple and expanded expression. That makes so much sense as the emptiness we may feel in comparison is always there, in arrogance and in lack of self worth. It is all the same.
‘If you compare you don´t embrace your own amazingness’
Beautifully said.
What you share about the way you speak is something I can relate to. I often notice that my voice is hard, harsh and high pitched when I am feeling nervous or stressed. Compared with the tenderness, deeper resonance I have when feeling connected to myself. As soon as I disconnect from myself the feeing of not being enough occurs and the inevitable comparison comes in.
I know I can use words that sound harsh and they come from when I was growing up because those were the words used then but now they sound ugly and unnecessary. The other times when I have caught myself with a harsh voice is when I don’t want to hear the truth and shut off from my feelings and then there is a harsh ‘don’t want to go there’ tone in my voice even though the words will not convey that. Even as I write this I can feel my body harden to accommodate the harshness and how horrible it feels. Thank you Suzanne for your honesty and willingness to go there and share, I will take this into my day.
Hi Suzanne, what an utterly beautiful sharing: ‘During my connective tissue session, an image came to me of diverse, magnificently coloured corals growing under crystal clear waters. My insight in that moment was that our expressions are like that coral – they appear very different to one another but are all equally unique and gorgeous in their own way.’ This analogy, I absolutely love- the picture of each unique coral being part of the whole brings a unity and a question – why on earth would we compare?
I can relate to having a sore throat, – I’ve had my share. It’s a great opportunity, though, to stop and ponder on the way I express. Thank you for the inspiration, Suzanne, – it’s about our unique expression.
Yes me too, especially as a young child. Thank you Suzanne for inspiring me to be more aware of how I express in each moment and to come from the loving connection of the true me.
I think that you have touched upon a subject rich in examples here Suzanne. When I was young I had my mother’s voice, rather strident and a bit ‘R/P’ (received pronunciation). I soon lost that at school, trying to blend in with others rather than sticking out like a sore thumb. Later on, I would shamelessly mimic those I considered worthy of my admiration, and if that included the odd regional accent or two, then so be it! I feel this was me demonstrating a profound lack of self-belief and self-love, but I have slowly developed more love for, and belief in, myself over time. I love the image that you have given us Suzanne, of the coral just below the surface of the sea. Thank you.
I love how you related your expression to coral, Suzanne. There shouldn’t ever be a need for comparison and jealousy, because as you say we each have our own completely different, individual expression or coral, that when put together makes up the reef! Without the diversity the reef wouldn’t be nearly as beautiful.
So true Susie or provide such an abundance of life that supports so many creatures in the sea. We are all special and all have a special expression worthy of celebrating. Suzanne’s article is a great reminder that attempting to imitate another, compare or pitch ourselves against another person’s expression is not only a complete waste of time, but very damaging. When we begin to truly value ourselves and what we bring, what we contribute to the reef, then everyone benefits, not just ourselves.
Suzanne, thank you for sharing this wonderful revelation. Reading this I can feel how much I have allowed comparison and judgement to hold me back from my true expression – this hurts and keeps me from truly connecting with others. It feels pretty massive but there is a joy in being able to see this behaviour for what it is and begin to appreciate the differing qualities we all bring. It’s utter madness to compare ourselves to others, yet this is how we are raised. In effect, we imprison ourselves so as not to feel the magnificence of our unique and beautiful expression. How liberating to be free of that self-imposed prison.
Sharing what you have reminds me how endemic comparison and jealousy is and how this caps our own appreciation of self. To teach a child that their voice is unique, special valid and true – no less than another, but of equal significance and value is a foundation we need as a society. Sadly education does not allow for this making the focus on knowledge and the recalling of that knowledge. What would happen if we celebrated that gorgeous uniqueness in each person from birth in the knowledge that they are very much needed to make up the whole?
“I could feel right then how destructive and crippling comparison is, and is simply not needed; everyone’s individual expression together makes up the whole, just as each coral together make a reef”. I love this analogy Suzanne, we all have our unique expressions to share and inspire.
Beautiful Suzanne, ‘I understood that the individual ways in which we express are all equally significant and valid – indeed it is crucial that there is a variety.’ It is really lovely to read this and is very confirming for me, I know that i can be withdrawn and feel that what i have to say is less important that someone else, it is great to read that this simply isn’t true, I can feel how all of our expressions are unique and make up the whole.
I love your blog Suzanne, and one that is very pertinent for me right now, as I have had a sore throat for the past few days, and your sharing has given me plenty to ponder on. Thank you.
I agree with you Suzanne, comparison harms us all and only serves to keep us separate. We are all unique in our expression and no one expression is more valued than another, just like the coral.
Yes Suzanne and Julie, comparison is endemic and seems to be the engine of the world. We are on a constant quest to be better than the next one. Yet we are all unique in our own expression and the painting cannot be complete without each one’s individuality.
I have found the same as well Doug and have been my worst critic and judge. The more I accept and appreciate where I am and who I am the more I can do the same with others.
I love your coral analogy, especially how each individual coral makes a reef. All of our individual expressions are precious and worth making.
Hello Laura, I agree I enjoyed that link as well. It makes so much sense and great when we can ‘use’ nature in this way, as a reflection for us.
Thank you for sharing Suzanne, I have also had a sore throat recently – it started when I realised how I was saying things to fill time, to fill the space on the phone to someone when I was looking something up for them. It seemed bizarre almost like I was putting on an act for them instead of simply finding out what they needed, I felt like I needed to entertain them somehow. It has made me look at what I say and express more deeply, I know it is so easy for words to come out in a convoluted way that whilst seemingly appearing nice can actually be quite harsh and judgemental towards others. And wow I find myself almost constantly telling a lie, albeit usually very minor but the level of dishonesty I have been and run with is huge. From the simple questions to giving a non-description or I’m ok answer to ones where I try to bend the truth so don’t get caught out. It is quite shocking really!
It is indeed so easy for words to come out. I noticed with me that it is like an automatism. I observed with me that during my work I have a tendency to give a reply right away after a question has been posed. Whilst my body is still letting the question in to feel about it. I realize more and more this immediate answering is not me. It is an old pattern of ‘I need to have my answer ready right away’. Now I am practicing not to answer right away and give space to my body to feel first and not override that feeling. Very interesting practice. To be continued.
It is great observing what comes out of our mouths – especially when things come out which I have no idea where they came from! And other times when i start saying something but half way through the words seem to change and then come out completely differently. It usually happens when I am trying to fit in with others and so adapt what I am saying – the problem here is it often comes out quite mixed and they don’t really understand what I am saying!
Thank you James for your honesty and it feels like you have exposed another level of expression which has me pondering because I can relate to my words coming out in a convoluted way and also trying to not get caught out. You have inspired me to consider this more deeply.
Thank you Suzanne – you make a simple and so needed point – that we are our own forms of expression. That there is no point in comparison, and how our voices are unique to who we are and where we are.
So true: “it makes no sense at all to try to be like another” and it is showing a missing appreciation of what I am & bring, a missing appreciation of what the other brings AND that we are designed to work together, bring our skills together. Everyone of us is a wonderful Flower – unique and together we are a beautiful flower bouquet – supporting each others beauty. It is so great to really get this in my body & mind: to compare and to be jealous makes no sense! But to appreciate each other deeply makes total sense and changes the world! Thank you Suzanne.
“Everyone of us is a wonderful Flower – unique and together we are a beautiful flower bouquet – supporting each others beauty.” – I love your description here Sandra of how each one of us works together to make a beautiful flower bouquet.
And everyone of us has our our own unique and beautiful voice and way of expressing when we let ourselves simply be, without trying to be someone more or different. I’ve found that the the quality of my voice at any given moment is a great barometer for where I’m actually at, if I’ve gone into putting up a guard or whether I’m open, allowing and with me — when it is the latter my voice absolutely effects the exquisite quality I feel and emanate from my entire body.
So true: I have a voice! Time to appreciate and express what I have to say -or sing ; ). Just yesterday I did sing with two choirs and found again how beautiful it is when the different voices come together and become ‘one voice’. Every single voice supports the group-expression. Same in every day living: how I express is one part of the expression of humanity – worth and needed. When each person starts to express their true self, their power and beauty, start to express truth – the more truth can be felt and reconnect to in our big group of family called humans. So my voice has an huge effect and I choose which one this is.
Great Sandra, the appreciation, a huge key so thank you for adding it in. The comparison is “showing a missing appreciation of what I am & bring” I agree. As I said appreciation is huge, it changes the face of many things.
I love how you have described each one of us Sandra as being a wonderful flower, “unique and together we are a beautiful flower bouquet…”
Thank you Sandra for this beautiful reminder of the uniqueness of all of us and that we need to appreciate that we are designed to work together for the greater whole and value what we bring to the mix.
The uniqueness of our expressions is the unity of the all. Great sharing Suzanne of how we are all one and that the uniqueness is the one brotherhood. Really exposes how twisted the world is and that the biggest downfall is focusing on individuality and recognition instead of unity and being an equal part of the whole that only can fully express when all the sparks are expressing towards it.
What a great comment Rachel, this sums it all up beautifully, if only we could all see the truth of this and unite as equal sparks, no comparison and just get on with the return back to God.
Suzanne as someone that never liked the sound of my own voice I had never considered that in that process I was actually comparing to another. It’s great to reflect on that and foster, develop my true expression instead of be in comparison of how I sound let alone what I say. Thank you.
It is amazing the insights that our bodies can reveal to us when we give ourselves the time (a stop moment) to really feel what’s truly going on. I really enjoyed reading what you have shared with us Suzanne – I gave myself a ‘stop’ moment to feel into ‘comparison’ its feels like over the years I was doing this constantly (and even sometime now)without even being aware I was doing it! As you express so beautifully we are all “equally unique and gorgeous in our own way”
Comparison just brings up feeling less then who we truly are and serves no one. After 28 years of living in the UK, I am still told constantly that my accent is real strong. It this because I am getting a bit long in the tooth or just comfortable being me.
Thank you for sharing the beautiful coral analogy Suzanne – so true that each voice is unique and together we make up a reef of expression.
Dear Suzanne, a short, clear and poignant blog – comparison is not necessary and in truth deeply harms us all. Each of us, although the same on the inside bring a unique range of qualities to this world – none of which are the same as anyone else, yet if we bring them all together they make up a much needed whole. Imagine group work where everyone used their qualities to support rather than to compare and judge, this way of working would change the world.
“I understood that the individual ways in which we express are all equally significant and valid – indeed it is crucial that there is a variety.” We are all unique, as you say and any comparison is deadly. Thankyou for a beautiful post, I love the coral analogy.
Gorgeous Suzanne, super to read this morning. I have struggled a long time with my expression, and realise I still hold back because it is such an ingrained habit of mine to do so. How to break this once and for all is for me to feel deeply that my expression does count in this world and to trust myself and just be playful with it and keep the learning fun!
Thank you for sharing so eloquently how comparison can undermine the beauty and truth of our expression through our voice.
Sometimes when I feel like expressing my mind says that I’m not up for it. Almost as if the task seems to big but when I express from my body everything is fine and my whole body resonate with what I say and it just feels complete.
Thank you Suzanne and yes to true. Comparison cripples us, it shrinks our true expression and our relationships shrivel up. When we are able to truly love our own expression, in all ways, our whole world expands. When we have accepted our own beauty it is natural to celebrate another person’s expression and see all our glory, like you say, in the stunning array of corals that together we all make.
Thank you Suzanne, I like the analogy of the coral reef all working together to make a whole, each one playing its part. It is incredible to consider that this kind of all encompassing understanding has come from an esoteric connective tissue therapy treatment.
Thank you Suzanne, I am discovering the same thing, my expression is unique and needed, as everyone else’s is too. I have three children and I have always appreciated how unique they are, which makes me realise that wanting to be like someone else spoils so much fun, the fun of being ME.
Suzanne, I can really relate to what you say about not speaking from the true you. I experience this regularly and relate this to a lack of conscious presence on my part at that moment, a falling back into an old way that was developed as a means of self-protection somewhere along the way. As said elsewhere every moment is an opportunity to deepen and expand our awareness, becoming more of who we truly are.
Appreciating that we are equal to every other human being is a blessing as is finding our own true voice. The alternative to this is like living in everyone else’s shadow and feeling less. I love your coral analogy Suzanne.
I am with on this Doug, and as comparison and jealousy is such a huge subject for us all it brings about the work that is needed on our own relationships to diminish the control that this has had over us.
Thanks Suzanne, your blog is what I needed to read today as I woke up with a sore throat and after reading your article I have a broader understanding as to why my throat is sore
Beautiful observation. This reminds me of the saying ‘That we do not appreciate something until we lose it’. Your unique voice in expressing in this article is a great lesson in that we all have something to say.
Great reminder about the comparison. Every unique and beautiful voice is needed to express the one unified truth.
Accepting and allowing your own expression, yes that is very important for me to do as well. I know the feeling of comparing myself in every way with everyone but it honestly feels to me that that does not serve. Like you said: “I could feel right then how destructive and crippling comparison is, and is simply not needed; everyone’s individual expression together makes up the whole, just as each coral together make a reef.” Thank you Suzanne.
This is a superb Suzanne what a beautiful way of seeing truth with the image coming to you. I totally agree with you and everyone about comparison, it is a nasty thing and silly because we are all so different its like comparing a sprinter to a marathon runner, both equally good at what they do, but you can’t compare them,but still if we are not on to it somehow we do.
Great analogy, the base line is:
we are all unique and we all need each other to be complete.
Yes Luke, and living with each other in our uniqueness and individual expression is Brotherhood, a very powerful combination.
Indeed
What a great sharing Suzanne Anderssen you give with this blog. When we not express our uniqueness in the world we hold back a important part of the whole and are as a community not able to get the whole picture that we have to build with each other. It is beyond my imagination how the world would look like if everybody would live his or her unique expression compared to all the mutated and copied expressions that we currently are keeping alive in our societies through the media and the way we interact with each other.
Thanks for your sharing Suzanne. I too have been toying with of late and enquiring “what is my natural and true voice”. I am discovering that I have a certain tone that I use when I am in a level of protection and not completely letting people in. I have also discovered that when I am still and present with my body, I then start to get an inkling of what my natural and true voice is.
Thanks Suzanne for showing just how much we can compare ourselves to others and make our individual expressions somehow ‘wrong’. I’d not considered that we may even try to sound like others to fit in to an invisible ‘correct’ mould.
Suzanne, that is very familiar, suddenly hearing what is coming out of my own mouth, and realising it sounds harsh and hard when I did not intend it to be. It can reveal so much about how we are really feeling and the judgment we are feeling about ourselves or someone else. Judgment and comparison are such a destructive forces and separate us, whereas your beautiful image of the coral reef shows us we can be ourselves yet together. If we hear harshness and judgment in our voices it may be that we haven’t uncovered something in ourselves, that we have not been recognising, but once heard and seen for what it is, then our voices will change and our expression be true. Words spoken from the heart sound very different from those spoken from the head or the gut.
I have always been amazed at how different my voice sounds when I would listen to a recording of it, and have up until recently been judgemental of it, preferring the sound of my voice as I speak to how it sounds to others. What I realise now though, is that the level of acceptance of how my voice sounds to other people was directly related to the level of self-love and self-worth I have for myself. As you mentioned Suzanne, I too would compare my voice to other people and it only lead to not accepting myself even more. It’s beautiful analogy with the coral that you shared and one that can help people accept what they offer to the world through their unique expression.
“I realise now that it makes no sense at all to try to be like another: it feels important to let go of comparison and let my own voice, my own unique expression evolve into what it naturally is”.
I just love what you have written and expressed here Suzanne, thank you.
With clarity and insight you have used your own ‘voice” to express wisdom and truth.
A sensational piece of writing, an amazing sharing and beautiful truth you bring to us Suzanne – thank you!
I too have felt a harshness at times in my voice. I have appreciated that I have noticed it and have the will to express from my unique way, with the tenderness I feel in my heart.
I notice each situation can have a different reason to why I have spoken in a way that does not feel natural, gentle and from me. It’s a beautiful journey to be able to look at and let go of the ways of being that do not feel supportive or loving to who I know I naturally am.
What a beautiful way to address any harshness of which you become aware, Johanna: ” I have appreciated that I have noticed it and have the will to express from my unique way, with the tenderness I feel in my heart.”
To appreciate your awareness of the harshness and then, in that energy of self appreciation, address the less than loving energy is so lovely. Thank you for sharing this.
This was perfect for me to read today Suzanne and when I connect to the truth of my own expression, there is nothing that impedes it – the impediments come only when I allow in the comparison and past beliefs and ideals – all hurts from not connecting with my self and allowing a falsehood to replace it. So true what you express here!
Growing up I always wanted to speak and sound like my dad, now in the odd moment I catch myself speaking in this way I know it is not me, but the same energy that gave him authority and control that is coming through me. Thank heavens for Universal Medicine for allowing us to understand all of who we are and that we have the choice to be this, or the choice to be something less – even in the way that we speak.
Beautifully put Suzanne. When you think about it how can we possibly express like another ? We have each had so many unique experiences, we have encountered different people, we have dealt with things differently. And although we can relate to what other people say we have no way of truly knowing what another feels or has felt. So it makes sense to simply be ourselves in all of our glorious diversity.
I like your analogy of the coral reef Suzanne…it made me feel like heading off to the barrier reef.
I felt a clearing and a lovely sense of freedom when I read your words, “I understood that the individual ways in which we express are all equally significant and valid – indeed it is crucial that there is a variety.” This showed me that I still carry comparison in my body and your words have helped me to consolidate the folly of doing so.
So now, instead of my diving trip, all I have to do is connect with people around me, which is indeed much more satisfying.
I can so relate to this, Suzanne. I remember someone telling me ages ago how different I sounded on the phone. I realised that I was putting on a ‘phone voice’, without even being aware of doing so! Lately I have also realised how often I have spoken to win approval, rather than simply expressing all I am.
Suzanne what you have shared here is wonderful. We each have an integral part to play with our own unique expressive ways. That is the beauty and breath of life living in all our glory without comparison or judgement.
Suzanne, it’s beautiful what you share. Our voice, the way we speak and how we communicate and express ourselves are all a beautiful part of who are. When we honour this unique expression we allow those around us to get to know who we are. I have also been quite aware recently of how my voice feels, and conscious of bringing the quality of gentleness, love and tenderness to my voice. The gorgeous thing is, there is always more love to be expressed through us in some way. It’s quite new for me to approach my voice in this way, and I look forward to unfolding this alongside you.
Comparison is not needed. It just doesn’t serve us in any way. Thank you Suzanne.
Well said Amanda, comparison is definitely not needed and can be extremely damaging, whereas appreciating and being inspired by others is a game changer.
Yes, I have been there – comparing what I sound like, look like, move like to others, then judging and trying to get what they have got – and I know from my experience, that doesn’t change anything. I would only be faking it, then there comes the self-loathing. Not worth it.
Thank you Suzanne and Fumiyo, I agree, there is absolutely ‘no faking it until you make it’. Our own revelations inspire us to the truth about who we are and how that should be lived. The Livingness as presented by Serge Benhayon inspires true change in so many ways.
I love the way you received the communication of the magnificently coloured corals under the sea Suzanne. Some much can be communicated to us in this way. Even the fact that we are corals in the sea together feels to communicate that we live in a sea of energy together.
You words, ‘I was listening to everyone else’s expression and how they talked, then choosing to compare myself to them, and consequently being hard and judgmental on myself, and everyone else,’ are very revealing for all of us. We have been so indoctrinated by comparison and competition from an early age, at home and at school, and we willingly bought into it. As you say, comparison is so destructive and crippling.
It is crazy the way we think that judgment and hardness is going to protect us from the harshness of the world with its comparison and criticism, when only openness to love will keep us whole and unscathed. We have the whole thing upside-down.
Awesome insights Suzanne on the way we live being reflected and heard through our voice and communication, and the symbolism too in your words: “…everyone’s individual expression together makes up the whole, just as each coral together make a reef” – I found this visual picture super in understanding how the entire comparison issue is completely absurd, because I can and do appreciate how each piece of coral is equally unique, delicate and beautiful, just like us.
Suzanne what an awesome blog you have written here, it feels as though it was written just for me, as I too have often had issues with sore throats and losing my voice. What you so beautifully exposed is that all our expression is needed and is uniquely our own. I too can feel how in my life I have held back in my expression not truly valuing what I have felt or that my voice counted, but what I can see is that it is me who is not valuing the expression I have and comparing myself to others when in fact what we each express is necessary and needed.
Love the coral analogy, very powerful and I totally get what you’re saying!
Suzanne, I love this, and the image you share of coral, how each is beautiful, yet unique, and yes it’s about allowing each and every voice to be heard, and it’s gorgeous to hear yours Suzanne.
I remember as a child migrating to Australia and working hard to sound more like everyone else, to not be different. I learned how to moderate myself to fit in through this experience – and have spent recent years undoing this. Totally agree that undermining the value of our unique expression is awful – for us and for everyone else.
The Universal Medicine modalities have been the single greatest support in finding my own voice!
Wow this is really interesting Helen, and shows a bigger picture of how we change ourselves from who we truly are to fit in.
Every moment is a moment to know ourselves more deeply and it feels to me that for us all we are constantly letting go of old ways, becoming more of who we truly are. The body is a forever teacher and we are forever students, the workings of the Divine. Thank you Suzanne, for sharing your beautiful and growing awareness.
I love how you share here Suzanne, that when your voice is harsh, its not like its your own voice. I am not consistent in the way I speak, especially when I am tired or am triggered with uncomfortable situations in life. My voice changes & its because I’m not me any more, but living the situation presented & speaking that & not me.
Great reflection Pinkylight, I agree, being tired or feeling out of our depth and uncomfortable takes us away from that majestic loving self.
I agree Pinky and Suzanne, the way I am speaking is one of the biggest ways for me see how I am feeling. If I am yelling to get things done I know I’m tired, If I’m soft I don’t feel comfortable, If my voice is thin I am not connected with my body, I am thinking too much. If my voice vibrates in my body I am just being me. If I do a fake laugh its all over, I know Im really uncomfortable! A lot is shown to me by my voice!
Expression is something that’s very much in my awareness at the moment and I can very much relate to what you’re saying Suzanne about the comparison. Even when writing comments on a blog there is a tendency for me to feel intimidated by reading the amazing insights from other people and how beautifully and honestly they express. In those moments I’m discovering how important it is to put a stop to the comparison, re-connect to me and find my own voice and accept and appreciate whatever comes. And as you’ve shared, I’m also learning to understand more that we each offer something in our own unique way and that my expression isn’t wrong or less, it’s just different and that we do each and every one of us contribute our part to the whole.
Thank you Suzanne for this honest sharing. And it is so true that everyone’s unique expression is needed in the world. And all together it forms the whole.
I love the fact that all together we form a whole Diana, which makes it crazy to try and be like someone else, when the whole is incomplete without our unique contribution.
Suzanne a gorgeous sharing from an incredible woman whose verbal expression I love.
Hear hear from me too!