Commitment to Self – Commitment to Life

Isn’t it strange how we can be on what seems like a never-ending merry-go-round searching for joy. Constantly thinking we will find it in the perfect job, house or partner – if only I had ‘this or that’. So often we drift from one thing to the next, never really committing to life in full, always thinking the next thing will be the one that changes our life.

But what if it was not something outside of us – such as a job, a house or a relationship – that brings about true change? What if it was about making that commitment to self first that then brought the true change and lasting joy that we so long for and seek?

I have been part of that searching for something outside of myself that I thought would make me happy in life – the religion, the partying, the cool gang, the art, the guru, the yoga, the job, the travel, the hundreds of career changes, the diet, the perfect body, the relationship, the self help, the new age, the course, the qualification, all the “if only this or that then my life would be different”…

But the fact is, none of them worked. I thought they did for a while, but all they did was distract me with moments of excitement, happiness, sadness, recognition, acceptance, complication, numbness or obsession, all to avoid feeling what was really going on.

In truth I was looking for something to distract me from feeling the emptiness and sadness I felt by not allowing myself the time and space to stop and feel what I was really looking for… and that was me, my connection to God, and the love that I am and feel inside of me.

I avoided committing to myself and to life like the plague, even though it was the one thing I knew that would turn my life around. On a daily basis, this lack of commitment to self, to fully being with me, impacted my ability to fully commit to life

With the support of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine this has changed. I now know commitment is not about some huge big thing, as we have been led to believe, but it is about everything in life, no matter how big or small. Such as:

  • Booking a doctor’s appointment when I first need it and not putting it off.
  • Booking a dental check up, not waiting for them to get in touch.
  • Getting the car checked, and whatever needs done.
  • Going food shopping, not leaving it till the cupboards are bare.
  • Creating the space to prepare and eat food that will truly support and nourish me.
  • Taking my time being present, not rushing, stressing and thinking about the day, week or even month ahead.
  • Going to the toilet when I need to and not putting it off because I’m doing something else.
  • Opening letters and not just putting them away in drawers – usually bank statements.
  • Being responsible with money, not spending more than I have but also feeling I am worth spending money on.
  • Saying yes when I mean yes and no when I mean no.
  • Being in a job fully present, not looking for another job or wanting to be somewhere else.
  • Being totally committed to being in an intimate relationship with someone and not worrying about past hurts or the future, the ‘what ifs’ or buts.
  • Going to bed when my body feels tired, not staying up “just another five minutes”.
  • Speaking up, in full, not holding back my expression.
  • If I say I will do something, committing to it and taking responsibility, not making excuses to avoid it or doing it with resentment.
  • Being responsible for myself and how I am – not dumping my day, stuff or issues on anyone else.
  • Expressing myself in full, in everything I do, be it teaching a class, walking the dog, how I do my hair or what I choose to wear, not holding back any part of me.

Commitment doesn’t have to be something to avoid, dread or put off for as long as possible. Commitment to self and to life is an absolute joy that can be felt, even in the simplest of little things.

Like saying yes from our absolute fullness and meaning it, from connecting with a friend, making a commitment to stop on the way home from work to buy a certain food because that’s what we feel to eat, or saying yes to a relationship, to ourselves, I want to be with you 110%.

The truth is, when we choose to commit to life in full, to a job, a relationship, a choice, ourselves, it feels amazing, there’s not one ounce of heaviness or dread, just an incredible feeling of lightness, freedom, joy, simplicity, clarity, power and absolute strength. There is no room for fleeting moments of self-doubt or wavering thoughts, no anxiousness or ‘what ifs’ or buts, just the absolute simplicity and joy of life in full.

What I have also come to discover, is that commitment is much more than all of this: yes, this was and is a great and huge start, but I have had the opportunity to go much deeper with this – commitment is much more than what I do, it’s actually about the quality and presence I am in, or to put it another way, how I am in whatever it is I am doing.

For example when I go for a walk, I am walking with me, not planning my day or thinking about everything else; or when I am teaching a class – yes I am committed to prepare lessons, turn up each day, but what makes all the difference is that I am there, fully present with myself and the children.

When I am not thinking about anything else apart from the very moment I am in, that is commitment in full, not only to whatever I am doing and whoever I am with, but also commitment to myself and to life in full.

Inspired by the deep love and commitment of Serge Benhayon, Michael Benhayon and Universal Medicine.

By Gyl Rae, 37, Teacher, Scotland

Further Reading:
Motivation To Exercise – Could It Be About Commitment?
Taking Responsibility and Making a Re-Commitment to Life

 

1,089 thoughts on “Commitment to Self – Commitment to Life

  1. It tends to be easier to commit to something outside of us then to commit to ourselves, to commit to feeling who we are and staying with that. There is an honouring and holding in committing to ourselves and our bodies and what it needs. It changes everything when our main focus is committing to ourselves, then it’s easy to commit to exercise, work, relationships, eating well etc.

  2. I can feel how we might use the word ‘commitment’ when in fact we are engaged in activities to distract and drive ourselves further apart and away from our inner-most, while a true commitment starts with ourselves and it is about bringing that inner-core of ours with us in whatever we do.

  3. I can so relate to that lost/listless searching and the excitement of picking up a lead or thread that would go only so far and then the initial shine of whatever it was that caught our attention would go dull again. The thrill of the search would distract us again from that emptiness. I am picturing someone going in circles and then realising the answer is right in front of them, in every detail of their commitment to themselves.

  4. There is so much joy in saying being 110% in. And it is a great question to ask ourselves and one that got me considering the answer – do we want to be with ourselves 110%?

  5. Saying YES to the growth and evolution on offer has been my focus the last months. And my body actually loves this momentum of ‘yes’ and clearly reveals what is in the way of going deeper and committing more.

  6. I know that when I commit to myself it makes it so much easier to commit to life. Otherwise I am just ‘trying’ to commit without having the sense or experience of it for myself first.

  7. Gyl your blog has put a bomb under me – I had not joined the dots of the pain of procrastination with lack of commitment – duh!! Thankyou!!

  8. Commitment is a beautiful thing, it’s the magic word for me…one that supports me to understand so much: what’s working or not working in my life usually comes down to this one word. With commitment comes integrity and the appreciation of ourselves, of being fully with whatever you’re with….especially being with me first and foremost. I loved how you brought it back to this essential component of commitment, Gyl. Thank you.

  9. I really enjoyed this Gyl, all your dot points are different ways we commit to self. Commitment as a word is a bit like “responsibility”, it’s meaning has been changed to something that feels like a burden, or a trap, and to be avoided. As you share it is not something awful at all and it in fact brings a lightness and joy to life.

  10. Commitment is not as scary as I once thought, in fact the more I commit to life the more expanded and lighter I feel, opening the way for greater love to be discovered.

  11. Try taking every step in full. That is not a drive, but to take a step with all of you. I am sure I, and people in general, will expand, will grow in weight if we take steps like this.

  12. When the truth about commitment is detailed as it is here, one can feel the joy in commitment so it is extraordinary how commitment has been twisted by us into something heavy and burdensome, something to be avoided at all costs. The thing is that what I thought was committing was really only a half committing and it is that half heartedness that is so heavy.

    1. Great comment about the half committing, I must look our for that in my own life. Kind of ticking the box but not really committing. I agree that commitment has been twisted, it can even be used as an ideal to stay in a marriage or job for example, when it’s actually more loving to let go.

  13. I love what you describe here Gyl, as it shows that all that it takes to live a fulfilled life is to be there in every moment and not think about any other moment, past or future, as better or worse, but just be present and feel the fullness of every moment.

    1. Yes, I agree, and it is simple as that. All our complications are just a distraction to avoid the power and the space that is there when we are completely present in the moment.

  14. “commitment is much more than what I do, it’s actually about the quality and presence I am in, or to put it another way, how I am in whatever it is I am doing.” Totally with you Gyl, as without a quality of presence in all we do we cannot be fully committed as we simply are not there.

  15. In the honouring of what is there to be done each day, a forward plan of life that supports the days ahead is created. If that drops, I find myself with a backlog of duties to complete, and that ensures being in the present is not easy.

    1. Thank you Heather. When I let things slip and don’t attend to what needs attending to I can create a back log that is overwhelming and I either get irritated and annoyed, frustrated with myself and/or I can feel like giving up and giving in – both these reactions effect my relationships, the way that I am with others. I feel the huge difference that honouring what is there to be done each day makes. As I do this it is as if I create space for whatever is next and a lightness that supports my movements.

  16. I love the depth of understanding and different examples you offer here about a commitment to life. It shows how simple it is and the depth of the benefits on our bodies. Anxiety decreases, I can speak from my own experience on that one and when it increases, it is worth coming back and asking myself where I went!! Chances are I have galloped into the future and not stayed present in the moment. I will enjoy deepening this relationship with commitment today as a new foundation.

  17. Commitment to being in life is an ever developing process, that gradually removes all the ways of not being committed to life, for example alcohol to name but one way of escaping.

  18. Great blog to read today on commitment as I am currently reimprinting my commitment to self and to life, and already I feel the subtle difference in my movements – there is a renewed purpose to be fully present and to move my body more as I have a habit of sitting too long on the laptop.

    1. Thank you for your comment, I haven’t really examined in full where I live the false version of commitment, but I can relate to your comment as a beginning point that not taking sufficient breaks at the computer for work highlights being committed to the job above my own wellbeing.

  19. Reading this, I realise there is another level to go to with my commitment and that is saying yes to how I am doing the things I am doing. That means saying a big fat ‘yes! I am here doing these things because I choose to and doing them in this quality, with me, is my choice too.’ rather than a task list of things I need to do. This brings me back into the equation. Is there any point in doing the things we do unless we are really present and there?

  20. Without ever reading the blog yet, the title says it all. I am exploring commitment to life at the moment and have realised that there are basics around exercise, food, emotional wellbeing and sleep that I’m not covering. we can trick oursleves that we are committing to our jobs more, to relationships more, expression appreciation etc. but without these basic bases being covered then where is our commitment really?

  21. “I avoided committing to myself and to life like the plague, even though it was the one thing I knew that would turn my life around.” To me this beautifully sums up the absolute arrogance and irresponsibility so many of us live with. We are more than happy to cry “Poor me!” and yet we know the way out of our misery is at our fingertips and we are refusing point blank to take responsibility for ourselves, preferring instead to blame others for our woes and expecting them to get us out of it.

  22. Commitment to life ultimately comes down to be committed staying in the body every single moment to the best of our ability: in that way we see that we run on the right energy, and every thought and action will then be the result of that. It is the opposite of being in the head, and not feeling our body.

  23. No day is wasted if we make it about returning to Soul – the great love and light we each in essence are. We live on a planet where we are blessed with endless cycles to assist and support us shed what has got in the way of our true expression, until this journey is complete. And even if we walk with eyes downcast to such beauty, we are forever showered in love on our path back home to the immense and undying love within our hearts.

  24. So commitment to life is simply doing that what is there to be done with our full self and not half hearted or something full on and other things less, because in the end it is our self that we deny and dismiss and not the task at hand.

  25. The cycle of always looking forward to the next high is like going on a roller coaster, never feeling content or steady. Then when there isn’t anything exciting around, the next best thing could be starting an argument or making drama out of nothing. What I’ve been finding is committing to live and what is needed keeps things super simple and my energy levels balanced.

  26. Commitment to self and commitment to life have always been big issues for me . . . on the other hand commitment to dreaming, distractions and reacting to life has never been a problem . . . so it is really just about transferring my priorities!

    1. You are correct Kathleen, we can’t really say in this context that we don’t know how to commit, because it takes tremendous commitment (or is that stubbornness?) to continually do the things we do that are not truly loving for ourselves.

  27. “If only…” can be such a distraction and dis-empowerment to ourselves – thinking we need a certain thing from outside of us before we can be truly who we are or be truly content/ joyful/ complete…

  28. I agree that by you being present in full with yourself and the children you teach will make a big difference, ‘commitment is much more than what I do, it’s actually about the quality and presence I am in, or to put it another way, how I am in whatever it is I am doing.’

  29. I am sure many people can relate to this, distracting ourselves with numerous ‘things’…the list is endless, ‘In truth I was looking for something to distract me from feeling the emptiness and sadness I felt by not allowing myself the time and space to stop and feel what I was really looking for… and that was me, my connection to God, and the love that I am and feel inside of me.’

  30. “I avoided committing to myself and to life like the plague, even though it was the one thing I knew that would turn my life around. On a daily basis, this lack of commitment to self, to fully being with me, impacted my ability to fully commit to life.” I know this feeling, only too well. I never saw the connection to life being about committing to fully being me though.

  31. It is shared here about committing to a relationship with ourselves. This is very poignant, when I choose to do this it is to me a commitment to being fully with my body, open and willing to allow my essence from within to move my body and prepare me as I live. For life brings to me, whatever is needed for me to evolve.

  32. Choosing to commit to self and life in full can be amazing, ‘When I am not thinking about anything else apart from the very moment I am in, that is commitment in full, not only to whatever I am doing and whoever I am with, but also commitment to myself and to life in full.’

  33. When we feel that sadness deep inside of us, it usually means we are disconnected. If only we taught this in schools. It would be so supportive, to learn that this is the case and learn how to come back to oneself, a life lesson that would change the world.

  34. I too used to search outside for that missing something, whereas the joy and love is inside us when we choose to connect and commit to ourselves – a bit like my middle name, joy, which I used to keep hidden, but was there all along.

  35. With everything that is on offer in this world promising fullfilment, satisfaction, eternal happiness and delight – nothing can come close to the enormity of who we actually are and where we are from and our bodies are the only way for us to connect and feel that majesty.

  36. Thank you Gyl, there is great power here in being committed to even the simplest parts of life, as they are what makes up the life in whole and so no part is left out or forgotten, neglected or dismissed. Everything matters and therefore everything can be full of the joy of being you – even in the toughest of times, you are still in there with all that love and commitment.

  37. A great realisation you have shared here Gyl, we will never find true joy searching outside ourselves. In choosing to consistently connect to our essence it impulses us to commit to engaging with life and initiating lasting change that builds a true and joyful foundation to live from.

  38. Our commitment to life, or the lack of it is indeed shown in the simplest of things. The fact that we don’t open a letter on the day that it arrives, or answer an email with a a day are the seemingly small things that show that.

    1. Well said Williem – and these movements are simply delay from the fact that we will have to open that letter or answer that email – the same as us returning to Soul – we can delay it, put it in the to-do pile and delay all we like, but it will happen.

  39. Life is super loving to us, everything that I feel I dread is a message from life saying, hello commitment? And it is really up to us to choose to hear these light hearted messages or not, and these messages will escalate in intensity if we ignore them as love just does not give up and its expression, and the constellations in life just do not give up in loving us, and showing us the deep love that we are.

    1. I hadn’t considered the moments I dread in that way, thank you for the nudge to consider those moments in a more positive way. To take a step back and re-assess, remind myself I have the skills to deal with what is in front of me and then re-commit in full feels so supportive.

  40. I still have a belief that committing to life, to me, to being fully present in what I do is tedious and tiredsome, I tell myself it’s hard work and if I do it for a while I praise myself for being committed. The thing is how can committing to me be hard? Why would I think that being with me, with God is tedious? I know when I commit to something in full it feels amazing, the issue for me is that it is inconsistent. So I ask myself, what if I committed in full consistently today (as a start) to everything I do, equally so?

  41. ‘I have been part of that searching for something outside of myself that I thought would make me happy in life – the religion, the partying, the cool gang, the art, the guru, the yoga, the job, the travel, the hundreds of career changes, the diet, the perfect body, the relationship, the self help, the new age, the course, the qualification, all the “if only this or that then my life would be different”…’ The list you describe here Gyl could literally have been written for myself. I have searched fruitlessly in all the same places thinking, ah this one must be it surely but nothing would change the way I felt within. I guess that’s the clue, if it’s our inner world that feels unsettled why are we so fixated on our outer worlds because surely the key is by looking within?

  42. Committing to life is a fun exploration and discovery of what feels right for my body. Its like a continual stocktake and refinement of what works and what doesn’t to continually deepen my relationship with me more and more. I was also one to daydream and think about where I would be next week or a year ahead and that was also very draining on my body. Being present and connected to our lives in moments offers us a grander scope for learning and an expansion of joy that is beautiful to feel and the flow of the day is much more simpler too.

  43. Ah.. That old chestnut… ‘My life will be great once this happens’ or ‘everything will be fine and I’ll love myself more when my body looks like this.’ And so on. Do we realise that we can live the future now. That everything is available to us right now and the only reason we delay is because we don’t give our bodies a chance to express the fact to us.

  44. The practicality and normality of commitment and responsibility comes across in this blog. Neither are onerous, heavy or burdensome. The opposite in fact – light, joyful and simple if there is a willingness to accept them fully.

  45. I feel like you have supported us all to see commitment as completely normal and highlighted how we check out and get distracted which makes for a trail of ‘what if’s’ or ‘if only’s’. Committing to life in full is vital for good mental and physical health.

  46. This is a beautiful sharing Gyl on true commitment; I would often leave many loose ends and not commit to seeing things through to completion and how this drains my energy long term. I am now being more responsible and instead of creating many loose ends I am choosing to commit to what’s in front of me and it’s interesting how simply things will complete then that allows me the space and the energy to commit to another area in my life.

  47. This morning I have been feeling all the areas of life that I gloss over and ignore because I can’t be bothered to deal with them, I think I’m too busy or that it doesn’t matter if it gets left and undealt with, like I can get away with it but I’m starting to feel the impact this has on my body and how dismissive it is and arrogant not to take responsibility for all aspects of my life and not just the ones that I’m good at. Great blog to come back to again.

  48. ‘The truth is, when we choose to commit to life in full, to a job, a relationship, a choice, ourselves, it feels amazing, there’s not one ounce of heaviness or dread, just an incredible feeling of lightness, freedom, joy, simplicity, clarity, power and absolute strength. There is no room for fleeting moments of self-doubt or wavering thoughts, no anxiousness or ‘what ifs’ or buts, just the absolute simplicity and joy of life in full.’ I love this paragraph, as we can so often get caught up in the anxiousness, self doubt or otherwise when all that we have done is chosen not to commit to life, to ourselves.

  49. I absolutely love this blog Gyl. I’ve just been through a period in my life where I felt unsure about many things and the self doubt felt very real and absolutely debilitating, I couldn’t move forward with anything. When I began to commit to my life in full everything that was murky became clear and like you say this clarity brings joy and purpose. Commitment is not the burden I thought it was, in fact lack of commitment is what makes me feel burdened.

  50. Well said Gyl, it’s the commitment to live our every breath in the truth of who we are. To feel that we are already full, it just needs to be claimed and lived.

  51. I find it seems sometimes easier to commit to things outside of myself – as in for others or because others are saying I have to do it – than to commit to things I feel to do out of myself, things I feel need to be done and are important. This is exposing that I have a lack of self-worth I am feeding with this behaviour, but oh yes how beautiful to start making a change and commit to everything as even the smallest things are important.

    1. Lieke, I am with you, I do exactly the same thing, it is like the list of chores that need doing for myself pile up on an undealt with list whilst I am quite able to commit to what I have been asked to do by others. It is very exposing of the lack of self worth we so often carry as women but what you are sharing is the joy in becoming aware of it and therefore our ability to change this pattern to one that truly supports.

  52. It’s such a trap and yet we all fall in at various times ‘always thinking the next thing will be the one that changes our life.’, when in fact life is with us now and how are we with it, are we with it, as fully as we can be in any given moment, willing and open to deepening the connection with ourselves and thus life? Are we ready to turn up, fully on and willing to be there in however is needed? Are we willing to simply be us?

  53. I am finding that it’s the simple steps of our daily living that really build our foundation for commitment like applying my makeup seated at my dressing table with presence or opening the door to my car etc. It’s these little daily processes and the depth of our presence that can truly bring change to our commitment to life and it’s a lot of fun exploring it everyday.

  54. I used sport to avoid feeling what was going on, and each time I would stretch myself further, until I came across Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, then I realised that living from the inside out and connecting to life fully from being who I truly was first was what I was truly looking for.

  55. I really love the examples you’ve given in your blog Gyl about super simple and practical ways we can commit more to ourselves and life. We shy away from commitment but it isn’t as scary as we make it out! Life actually becomes a lot easier when we apply ourselves in full…

  56. Commiting to expressing how I feel when I feel it and not waiting or shoving the feeling under the bed for a while to revist or for it to build up, to everyone without exception is one of my many daily practices. As this is an area I have held back immensely with family and close ones, often I find that when I practice this with strangers it builds appreciation and familiarity, and it gets easier in situations where I find more difficult to express myself. This exposes an attachment I have with family—a need to be accepted and to be loved, which is based on need and not true love.

  57. The difference I feel when I fully commit to something is huge. When I’m not committed and am feeling half-hearted about doing something, because I feel like it’s a burden, it’s me who’s making it a burden by resisting doing what needs to be done -and it takes twice as long. When I commit to doing something in full, all the energy that I need to do the thing is right there – and it just gets done. What I’m also learning is that it’s my resistance to saying what needs to be said, to doing what needs to be done, controlling every outcome, that makes me exhausted. When I allow life to flow, feel what’s needed next by going by my body instead of my mental to-do list, it takes no effort and life feels more enjoyable and expansive.

    1. I agree. Be it saying yes to a job or relationship, or to doing the ironing, a simple yes to doing something, and the thing is practically already done. It definitely takes out the heavy burden of anxiety and doubt about whether it will be done or not, which drains us.

  58. Gorgeous Gyl, feeling in your reading the absolute power,lightness and aliveness of what it means to be committed to yourself, to life! a gorgeous lived example of how we can live everyday, and not just a moment or a day! Gorgeous reminder of where we are all capable of!

  59. I was living life but it was something that felt like a chore to a degree, getting up and going to work, keeping up with the household chores and some time to see family and friends. Like I was on a hamster wheel and didn’t know how to get off. Thanks to Serge Benhayon and the teachings of the Ageless Wisdom this changed, today after fully committing to life and myself I can honestly say that I have never felt so in love with where I am and what I am doing. Everything is simply and feels amazing, I don’t need any fireworks or special events to keep me going until the next.

  60. I can relate to getting caught up in searching through life thinking the next thing would make everything better and more enjoyable. I gave little if any thought to how my body was feeling as I would constantly distract myself in the search for the next thing to somehow boost my self-worth. That changed when I learnt to focus on feeling my body through my breath. The more connected to myself I am the steadier and more committed I feel to myself and to engaging with life.

  61. I love your rather exposing list of some of the things that make up what it means to be committed to life, but it is what you shared about the quality that I find the most exposing… for sometimes it is easy to seemingly appear committed to life through the length of the list of things that can be ticked off in a day but it is the quality that they are done in that truly defines what you are committed too.

  62. Commitment to life is a responsibility I have wanted out for as long as I can remember, but this responsibility in truth is actually something I know very well and life is giving me all the opportunities to reconfirm this with myself everyday.

  63. True commitment is a divine law, one that asks us to take responsibility for seeing how much we have changed its meaning and that ultimately first and foremost our commitment is to living the love we are.

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