Truth about Little White Lies

When I was a child I often heard the expression “little white lie”. It was used for justification when children caught and called out adults for telling lies. Adults often responded with “it’s a little white lie,” which was supposed to mean that adults could tell lies when the intention was somehow ‘good’, like not telling the full truth to a child in case it was “too much for them,” or doctoring the truth to an authority to smooth relations and not get into trouble…. How dreadful is that?!

I remember feeling angry and indignant. I remember feeling betrayed because the ‘little white lies’ were being told by adults who always sang the praises of honesty and telling the truth.

I felt the lie of the adult judgment that kids are too young to understand. I was even asked to tell ‘little white lies’ myself and that felt like an awful betrayal of my natural sense of truth too. I was being trained to force myself to be okay with telling lies and learning how to justify what I knew was wrong.

As I matured and understood more of life, I saw more and more lies. The lies that were not spoken or written, the subtle cunning lies, the lies composed of manipulations of circumstances, appearances and also communications such that everything was a lie, even if no-one could have pointed the finger at any individual component.

This latter technique is used globally by criminals, media, corporations, in fact anyone who wants to ‘stay clean’ while manipulating things to their advantage. Then there are the lies that are not spoken or written but are conveyed with body language – a particular movement of eyebrow or mouth – to sway another.

It seems that the human expression of lies outweighs the expression of truth by an alarming ratio. Life has become an acceptable lie in this world.

I remember once seeing an interview with a young politician who’d been caught lying on the job. His face looked slightly hurt and innocent as he said, without ‘batting an eyelid’: “Nowhere in my job description did it say I have to be honest.” Boy, oh boy, what do you say to that?

Have we fallen so far from truth that we need to have every thought, word, action and expression written down in a ‘job description’ of life before we feel compelled to tell and live the truth?! What happened to our natural sense of feeling lies when they are there and calling them out when they are felt, like we did as little children?

A lie is a lie, no matter of what perceived magnitude! There are no ‘little’ lies, no ‘good’ lies; all lies are a violation of the truth that we all inherently are and naturally deserve 100% of the time in our lives. Truth is the bottom line.

From there, anything can be understood and worked out between people. There are no hidden surprises, no doubts and no ‘grey areas’. With truth, we are at home and we are safe. With lies, the foundation is always wobbly and shifting. Unfortunately the whole of society’s workings have come to rely on lies as the lubricant that keeps the ‘machine’ going – as the foundation upon which the entire house of cards is built.

What are we going to do to replace that shaky foundation with the solidity of truth – real, capital ‘t’ Truth?

Are we going to make the telling of lies illegal and arrest everyone who is guilty? There would not be enough people left free in the world to administer all the jails!!

What if we were to come back to using our in-built lie detectors to feel and call out lies wherever we find them? To widely share all we have learned about truly connecting to that part of us that knows lies from truth as naturally as breathing? And what if we support each other – family, friends and strangers alike – to do this; to express immediately without fear of retribution?

We CAN do this. We can turn our world around by helping each other make the choices that can clear the ‘grunge’ from our lie-detectors (our bodies) and give us a crystal clear feeling for truth and for lies when we encounter them. The best thing we can be is true; the most loving thing we can bring to another person is truth. Even when it is ‘tough love’ or ‘tough truth’ it is giving ourselves and others the whole of what is required to base choices upon, to learn, evolve and grow.

Denying any part of truth is to short-change us all, deprive us of our full potential.

How can we clear our lie-detectors? Our bodies are matter and matter obeys energy, the energy of consciousness. Therefore our material lives are also a consequence of the energy of consciousness and how it governs our choices. So we need to look to energy for the cause of our self-created problems.

Our inbuilt energy detectors are where we need to do the work first. It is our souls that we must learn to connect to in order to refine our detectors. The soul of each and every one of us holds and knows the truth, way beyond the consciousness of our brains and everyday thinking.

Since our consciousness governs all our thoughts, choices and actions, could it be that by connecting to our soul and allowing that to be our presiding consciousness, we can feel truth accurately and live every moment of life more truly?

I know I knew this even when I didn’t know that I ‘knew’ it. I am very grateful to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for helping me to bring the clarity of it right to the forefront of my understanding, and to inspire me to choose to clear my lie-detector and evolve towards expressing my soul’s truth as a consistent way.

Together we can build the confidence to express truth in every realm of human life, all the time. No more little white lies, just one big loving light of Truth.

by Dianne Trussell BSc Hons, Goonellabah, NSW, Australia

Further reading:
Truth
Truth – I Can Feel it in My Bones
Spirit or Soul? Learning the Difference through Serge Benhayon

 

824 thoughts on “Truth about Little White Lies

  1. Thanks Dianne, I was one for telling those white lies, thinking that they were not so bad or not harming anyone but the more I feel how energy works the more I feel how harming lies are to us and others.

  2. Thank you Dianne, here here I agree it’s the whole way we have all been brought up. Nobody (adults) wants to feel their discomfort so they lie, and as kids it used to do us in, so to speak. But then it was like we got taught or coerced to just allow it and go with little white lies, pretty sad really. Then we feel terrible for telling a lie and it just feels so yuck in our body.

  3. The human body is the ultimate lie detector, it knows to the nth degree what is true and what is not … it is simply have we made the choices to be able to listen to its ‘read-out?”

  4. The opportunity to live with truth as our compass has been there for humanity for aeons… Once upon a time it seemed like this was only there however for a small somehow mystical group, as has been recorded for many thousands of years. Now this opportunity is as always with us, and it is now patently obvious that this is absolutely open for everyone to experience.

  5. Just imagine….. we are born knowing how to feel truth; it is innate within us. And then as parents and mentors and teachers, all trying to do our best really, start to expose even the youngest to untruth.. then we can actually grow up so surrounded by lies and distortions of truth that we can lose touch with this most basic of awarenesses.

  6. There is no such a thing as a little lie. A lie is a lie. Calling something a ‘little white lie” reveals how much we try and get away with things, how deep it is within most people to avoid responsibility.

  7. ‘I was being trained to force myself to be okay with telling lies and learning how to justify what I knew was wrong.’ This is truly horrific – the thought of inculcating in every successive generation from an early age the art of lying. Because in doing so we take away not their innocence but their knowing and from then on, the new normal becomes an acceptance of low-grade lying and a requirement to do this well when you have to, because it’s expected you will have to. Lying would appear to be now firmly established as part of the required portfolio of survival skills for being human.

  8. Dianne, life is indeed built on lies, and it all starts with those little white ones you call out here, and it builds over time so that another lie is used to justify the previous one, and it all gets very messy and complicated, hence our world now. Truth is so much simpler, and no requirement for any justification or need, it opens things up for us all and ultimately give all of us a spaciousness we lack when we live a life based on lies.

  9. Connecting with the deeper inner part of ourselves is undoubtedly what Universal Medicine is offering to us all… And then to, from that connection, start to be able to feel, as Dianne says, where truth is and where it is not

  10. Diane, your forthrightness is palpable, as is your penchant for truth and nothing but truth. What you present here in this blog is how truth can be watered down gradually, like an escalation of sorts, till it turns into a complete untruth and yet is still heralded by some as the truth. But the original and untouched truth remains and cannot be completely hidden from the eye of the one who discerns with care. When we lie, even the smallest and ‘whitest’ of lies, it is the beginning of eroding our relationship with truth and with ourselves and those around us. It is the beginning of a compromise that holds no one as equal. It serves no one. So the sooner we can catch ourselves with this ‘game’ that we can end up playing without necessarily being fully aware of it, then the sooner we can make a choice to stop and instead bring the quality we deserve to ourselves and others.

  11. ” Life has become an acceptable lie in this world.” you’ve pinned pointed this so well. our lives are a complete lie as we cover up who we are with all the things we are not. trying to hide away from each other.

  12. I for one have certainly been guilty of many ‘little white lies’ to some not so ‘white’ or ‘little’ and by this I mean nothing that externally would even look like a lie, but nonetheless something expressed or not expressed (verbally or non verbally) that was not the full truth. This is the meaning of lies that we need to come back to – anything that is the absense of full and absolute Truth.

  13. I remember one of my children feeling very hurt when she discovered that that tooth fairy didn’t exist and it was us all along putting money under her pillow. She was visibly upset that she had been lied to. It made me wonder about the reason we do this and the potential harm. I remember discovering as a child that Santa Claus was really my parents, but I went along with it for many years because I wanted to continue to get extra presents. It suited me to be complicit in the lie. Some would say it’s harmless, but I seriously wonder.

  14. Thanks Dianne, it seems that the connection to our inner knowing is the key to discerning truth from a lie . . . in fact this is the only true tool in this world of half truths and little white lies that can never be fooled and totally be relied on.

  15. Yes I agree and well said Dianne, When we are with deep connection to your souls we are not able to be fooled or swayed in anyway. When we are out of line we are confused and flippant with our decisions,options and behaviours.

  16. I agree, the ” little white lies” we used to hear regularly as children always felt dodgy. I love how it’s now being confirmed how off that approach is. I always thought Santa Claus was a form of parental control to mask the fact they don’t know how to get responses they can handle from their kids.

  17. What I get from this blog is that we as a society have accepted so much lies in our lives that we do not even notice anymore how painful this is. Living anything less than the truth is painful, even the seemingly small little white lies.

  18. Yesterday I was swimming with kids in a public pool. You have to be over 9 years old to go in the hot tub. I had two of my kids with me (one of whom is only 8). The lifeguard came to ask me how old my child was. I said 9. A lie. Straight up lie. And it felt and still feels horrible. It’s irresponsible – if something happened, then insurance would be invalid. It’s selfish – if every eight year old got in the hot tub, it would be too busy so why does my child get special treatment. But the worst part of it was the separation it caused between me and the life guard. He could feel that it wasn’t true. He didn’t bother to challenge me, but he could feel it and so now the ball of lies is rolling. I lied to him, it becomes more of his normal, so he lies to another, or just accepts the hurt of being lied to as a part of life. You may say that this is a tiny lie. But what I felt yesterday is that the size of the lie is irrelevant. Anything that isn’t the truth hurts and separates.

  19. I loved how you exposed the truth about little white lies Dianne, which always create a shaky foundation and can never compare with the solidity, power and loving profoundness of Truth.

  20. You have captured the feeling of what it feels like when you listen to a presentation or talk from Serge Benhayon…”I know I knew this even when I didn’t know that I ‘knew’ it..” Exactly! Its the common sense, the ‘yes, i know that’ thought, yet it takes someone (Serge Benhayon) to actually say it for the clarity and access to, understanding so much. It is an quite amazing experience, and, it shows that there is a one unified understanding deep within us all.

  21. That a politician who is elected to represent the people can claim after been caught out in a lie that “Nowhere in my job description did it say I have to be honest.’ is clearly a lie in itself and makes me wonder how many others in positions of power think in this corrupted way also.

  22. Little white lies are endemic in our society today, so much so that many of us gloss over them and accept them as a normal part of life. It is a sad state of affairs that we have allowed this irresponsible behaviour to occur just so that we can remain in our comfort zones and thus avoid standing tall, and expressing our truth.

  23. These little white lies are more harmful than we care to admit because they undermine the fact that we know truth by sowing seeds of doubt.

  24. “I know I knew this even when I didn’t know that I ‘knew’ it.” I know exactly what you mean Dianne in relation to Truth. The moment you hear it you know deep within that it is so – that it is in fact a known and confirmation we already do know the moment it is presented.

  25. I have never felt comfortable with lying, it’s like rubbing a cat the wrong way, it goes against everything the body feels and yet your words really stuck with me “I was being trained to force myself to be okay with telling lies and learning how to justify what I knew was wrong.” We have practiced over time to allow, defend, justify and accept the tension that comes with expressing lies. And expression is not just what comes out of our mouths like you say body language can lie, even people who are trained can fool lie detector (polygraph) equipment. But we can’t fool our bodies and if there is a tension in my body – what lies are being accepted or their existence in my life defended or justified as being better than a compared alternative? Thank you Dianne.

  26. It is beautiful to support each other to be open about the lies we are holding by the way we are living; to have the space to nominate our specific behaviors we do with the excuse that they are white lies. It frees us from the only true prison that really exists – that place where we can live lost from ourselves in lies.

  27. We live in a world with little to no truth and one of the reasons it is thus is because we have endorsed it. Every time there is an untruth, if we don’t correct it, we are endorsing it and confirming to the world that it is ok to live a lie. Speaking for myself, I avoided speaking the truth for most of my life because I preferred to be liked and considered nice, also I thought it would cause conflict to express the truth, when others were avoiding it, and conflict was not something I wanted to be the initiator of.

  28. The hypocrisy in our world is staggering due, in part, to the overwhelming acceptance of ‘little white lies’; your blog highlights this beautifully Dianne. The summary you present here says it all;
    “A lie is a lie, no matter of what perceived magnitude! There are no ‘little’ lies, no ‘good’ lies; all lies are a violation of the truth that we all inherently are and naturally deserve 100% of the time in our lives. Truth is the bottom line”.

  29. Yes it is such a big picture that on one level it cannot help but be daunting , but if we start with the simplest steps, for example being truthful privately to ourselves, then the big picture can start to take care of itself.

  30. Honesty with ourselves is a great place to start, even with tiny everyday things. We then begin to see the extent to which we rely and need the little white lies to get through our day. “How are you?….I am fine” is a typical line used by most of us most days. The thing with these is that we all know that the “I am fine” is not fine at all, but we don’t make any moves to change it or support anyone to be honest either. Because it’s safe? What would happen if we all started to be honest? We would realise that we actually don’t need a safety net.

  31. Great how you shine the spotlight on the way we manipulate our young to accept lies as an everyday part of life so that they perpetuate the myth. Depriving people of truth stifles their potential for evolution and with that being played out all over the world, merely creates global stagnation. Just as importantly, our own bodies eventually become affected by the lack of our own true expression, of saying how it is and what needs to be said. So everybody loses in this illusion of ‘playing nice’ and not rocking the boat. Truth is the only way.

  32. “The soul of each and every one of us holds and knows the truth, way beyond the consciousness of our brains and everyday thinking.” I have a whole new level of appreciation for this blog reading it this time around. The quote I shared above is profound as it shows that we know each and every lie inside and out and we as a collective humanity are complicit in the facade. Lies for me have always been about protection and like all ‘protection’ they are in fact the thing that is truly harming us. When we connect to our soul there is nothing to fear and the lies dissolve around us.

  33. In all honesty this is the second time I have read this blog, its been a while since the first time but this round was completely different to the last read. I actually felt myself feeling a little defensive for the white lie, feeling like there are times that perhaps it is inappropriate to tell all. I have a unique situation with the father of 2 of my children as I have never told the kids how much their Dad and his friends have attacked me and my family over the years, when my kids ask about him I do not go into detail or divulge this information with them, is that lying? It doesn’t feel like lying, it feel like being sensible…not sure if others agree? Or if I am just kidding myself…but I think that truth is something that we move in, we know in our bones, if it is walked and lived words are a small part of what makes up this truth.

  34. As hard as it is to stomach, what you have presented here Dianne is 100% true. We cannot accept these subtle, insidious, self-driven lies and “part-truths” to continue to run riot in society. Of course, the only way to address this is by expressing in absolute truth… Something I am not yet doing – super irresponsible. Thank you for your ‘stop moment’ blog

    1. I felt a small knot in my stomach while reading this, questions like “how honest are you really?” were coming to the surface and boy oh boy am I trying to avoid feeling it! Great read, thank you for this!

  35. I wonder how many lies are a result of people feeling they cannot make a mistake, or publicly be vulnerable? Ive noticed people can be ashamed about their imperfections and prefer to protect themselves by lying about their mistakes and covering up how they actually are. I feel it would be great for all human beings to understand that being perfect is impossible and being ourselves, mistakes, warts and all, is perfectly OK.

  36. I had an interesting moment with a white lie situation with my son the other day. There was something he knew that it was important his friends didn’t know. I asked him to say something to cover it up and he wasn’t ok with it. He knew he had to keep it secret but he wasn’t ok with lying. He then suggested he would just not say anything. It was a beautiful moment as I realised his commitment to truth – be it big or small, truth is truth.

  37. Imagine if job descriptions stated that “…honesty to the core was essential for this position…” imagine if this was the essence of marriage ceremonies, if children were nurtured to the point where they trusted life enough and were inspired enough to be totally honest.

  38. Our bodies know truth so why would we confuse children or anyone else for that matter with little white lies. Telling little white lies lead to children doubting what they feel.

  39. Lies seem to be deeply embedded into our culture. People can advertise products incorrectly, or embellish them with ideas of how they can change your life, we ourselves can ignore our body and keep eating when full (essentially lying to ourselves), politicians can make promises and not deliver, newspapers can present stories with an angle to blatantly or subtly insinuate lies…..the list goes on and on. It’s quite exposing to look at lies like this and consider just how many times per day I am also not completely honest or truthful. Lies have an image of being harmless and the norm of life but they are anything but.

  40. Just the heading of this blog made my shackles come up, one thing my body has always known is that any lie little or big was not right. When one stands in their truth before another, any lie is exposed, as the reflection of what is true can not help but be felt, exposing a lie for the evil it is.

  41. ‘There are no ‘little’ lies, no ‘good’ lies; all lies are a violation of the truth that we all inherently are and naturally deserve 100% of the time in our lives’ – We have accepted little white lies in many areas of our lives and still today we are accepting them – what is it within each of us that we allow room for these and how are these little white lies keeping us in comfort?

  42. Politicians are our elected representatives of whom i would expect upmost honesty, integrity and commitment to those that they represent and to support the very foundations of our ethical and legal fabric of our society. That one caught in a lie stated “Nowhere in my job description did it say I have to be honest.” is both appalling and unacceptable to me.

  43. The lies we speak are the truth we are not willing to live. Once truth is lived and becomes part of our daily movements, it becomes increasing difficult to allow a lie to enter for to do so creates great discord to what is otherwise the natural and harmonious flow of truth (the light and love of our Soul) that we are able to express when we live true to our essence. In other words – lies create great disharmony within the Universal Order (love) we live within and that lives deep within us.

    1. The simplicity of this statement, ‘lies create great disharmony…’ makes so much sense of the discord and complication we live in, that are so far from our totally natural innate relationship with truth.

  44. I too was taught that telling white lies was ok if it saved someones feelings from being hurt. It used to be so easy for me to be dishonest in such situations. Little – and some not so little – white lies are everywhere – nowhere more evident than in the politics of today, especially in the USA and UK currently. “Together we can build the confidence to express truth in every realm of human life, all the time. No more little white lies, just one big loving light of Truth.” Beautifully expressed Dianne.

  45. There are conscious lies, and then there are sub-conscious lies. Then there is lying to another, and lying to oneself. So, yes, the world is supported by much that is not true, to the point where we do not even question it. And so the only way out of such a predicament is to be willing to be aware – energetically aware first and foremost, for that is the most potent indicator that what stands before you is not what you think it is.

  46. ‘With lies, the foundation is always wobbly and shifting. Unfortunately the whole of society’s workings have come to rely on lies as the lubricant that keeps the ‘machine’ going – as the foundation upon which the entire house of cards is built’. – love that Dianne! It is hard, yet gorgeous to imagine a world that is deeply and unwaveringly honest…that asks us to be more and address everything as we go… so you not only know where you stand but what is needed at any point. We have a long way to go but it should be a world that we should aspire to… but as you said it starts with us and our willingness to be nothing but transparent.

  47. This is a great call to clear out our own in built lie detectors and come back to Truth. It is easy to feel overwhelmed by how much lying there is in society but we all have the power to connect to our Soul and feel clearly the damage that is caused by choosing a ‘little white lie’ to avoid rocking the boat. This is a deeply ingrained habit but one that I am committed to working on as I become aware of the damage not just to me but anyone that I try and ‘protect’ by being less than truthful. It is always felt and the lack of transparency has a detrimental effect on any relationship. If I am asked a direct question who I am to judge whether the other person is ‘ready’ to hear the truth or not? The arrogance in my judgement reveals the lack of equality in so many interactions throughout my life and has a horrible impact on my body so lots of excavating to do…

    1. It is not so long ago that I was still choosing to be blind to the lies that abound in life and, as I wake myself up to the pervasiveness of lies in all areas of life, there is a sense of inspiration in the seeing that makes me willing to do whatever is required to bring truth back.

  48. The hypocrisy of demanding children tell the truth when we want them to but then asking them to become complicit in ‘white lies’ and also shutting them down when it is uncomfortable to hear the Truth that they are expressing is staggering. No wonder children are confused and feel the only way is to shut up and enjoin the merry-go-round of lying that has become the acceptable way to function in society today. As adults we need to own up to our own level of dishonesty and support children to express themselves truthfully however inconvenient this may be.

  49. Why is it that we try to pass off little white lies as being ok, because when we start to use little white lies, it teaches us that it is ok to not tell the truth, when the truth is what we should be building as our foundation that way we always know who we are, and at the same time who everyone else is as well.

  50. If we examine a lot of human life we will see that behind a lot of actions and words are intentions which are not so obvious, sometimes we are living with already preconceived outcomes in mind and forget about the common expression of truth.

  51. ‘With lies, the foundation is always wobbly and shifting…’ this is so true and makes everything so complicated. I am still clunky with truth as I practise it over the pattern of lies that have been my modus operandi for a long time, but the even the clunkiness is refreshing as I get a sense of the unwavering simplicity of truth.

  52. Our lie detector, it’s the muscle that’s been left to go saggy in the back ground. A muscle that if it were strong, it would have to be responsible and do much work so others can feel their own sag. For many it’s the responsibility/work that will come that is the avoidance of building this muscle.

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